{"id":9869,"date":"2013-11-14T15:11:00","date_gmt":"2013-11-14T22:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=9869"},"modified":"2013-11-14T15:11:00","modified_gmt":"2013-11-14T22:11:00","slug":"telling-secrets-in-the-other-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/blended-family\/stepparents\/multiple-home-realities\/telling-secrets-in-the-other-home\/","title":{"rendered":"Telling Secrets in the Other Home"},"content":{"rendered":"
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There are a few unwritten codes of conduct common among most families. One is that family members don\u2019t share unflattering or personal information with outsiders. You don\u2019t talk about dad\u2019s bathroom habits; you don\u2019t post a picture of mom\u2019s morning hair on Instagram; and you don\u2019t use one another\u2019s vulnerabilities as fodder for gossip with the neighbors.<\/p>\n

It really is interesting when you think about it; this \u201crule\u201d isn\u2019t written anywhere, but most of us abide by it.<\/p>\n

Most of us.<\/p>\n

What do you do if a child in a stepfamily is telling secrets \u2026 in the other home?<\/p>\n

Inside betrayal<\/h2>\n

Sometimes children are like an \u201cinside man\u201d who carries embarrassing or unwanted information. For example, Sherry wrote to me about her 11-year-old stepson. \u201cIt has come to my attention,\u201d she said, \u201cthat he is going back to his mom\u2019s house after every visit telling her the ins and outs of our marriage and arguments. We have a good marriage, but we argue like any couple. We try not to do it in front of the children, but it is not always possible. She throws the information back in our face. I feel like there is a spy in my own home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Every dilemma like this begs the question, \u201cWhy does he do this?\u201d There are many possible explanations:<\/p>\n