{"id":98615,"date":"2020-05-08T14:59:47","date_gmt":"2020-05-08T20:59:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=98615"},"modified":"2020-05-08T14:59:47","modified_gmt":"2020-05-08T20:59:47","slug":"should-we-talk-to-our-kids-about-the-death-of-ahmaud-arbery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/life-issues\/challenges\/cultural-issues\/should-we-talk-to-our-kids-about-the-death-of-ahmaud-arbery\/","title":{"rendered":"Should We Talk to our Kids About Ahmaud Arbery?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

When the Ahmaud Arbery story broke, some of my friends were devastated.\u00a0 Days later, others still had no idea what happened.<\/p>\n

The disparity between those reactions is worth reflecting on.<\/p>\n

A 25-year-old man was gunned down in the street, chased by two men with guns in their truck. He was jogging in their neighborhood. With no evidence, they said he looked like a breaking and entering suspect. The dead man, Ahmaud, is black; the two men who killed him, Gregory and Travis McMichael, are white. Two and a half months later, after a video of the incident surfaced, they were arrested for murder.\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to ignore or be unaffected by evil that happens outside our own immediate community.<\/p>\n

But God cares about it. And people all around you in your corner of the world care about it.<\/p>\n

No matter what camp you fall in, someone you know is talking about this. Someone around you is grieving because of this horrible wrong.<\/p>\n

And if you have kids with phones, they\u2019ve heard about it and are processing it.<\/p>\n

So that\u2019s plenty of reason to think more about it ourselves.<\/p>\n

Why our kids need us to talk about Ahmaud Arbery<\/h2>\n

I\u2019m concerned that each time one of these situations arises and I don\u2019t address it with my kids, I\u2019m teaching them it doesn\u2019t matter. Or that I don\u2019t care. Or that silence in the face of injustice is acceptable.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I can\u2019t make every tragic situation an issue in my home, can I?\u201d<\/p>\n

Of course not. But never making any <\/em>of them an issue is equally problematic.<\/p>\n

In an increasingly polarized world, Christians should be leading the way in thought and action on topics like this\u2014especially in our own families.<\/p>\n

We might not want to talk about injustice because we immediately think \u201cpolitics,\u201d but that\u2019s a mistake.<\/p>\n

This is a human issue that grieves the heart of God and we need to help our kids internalize it.<\/p>\n

When was the last time you helped your kids process an unjust death like this?<\/em> We\u2019d rather these issues just get swept away in the news cycle and disappear from our consciousness.<\/p>\n

It harms our kids if we don’t talk about Ahmaud Arbery<\/h2>\n

But ignoring the situation might actually harm your child more than we realize.<\/p>\n

It harms them by leaving them ill-equipped to think with the mind of Christ about a significant topic that occurs regularly enough to not be considered an outlier.<\/p>\n

It harms them by allowing social media, news outlets, and schoolyard ignorance to be what shapes their thinking instead of you.<\/p>\n

We don\u2019t want that when it comes to sex.<\/p>\n

We don\u2019t want that when it comes to violence.<\/p>\n

We shouldn\u2019t allow that when it comes to injustice\u2014racial or otherwise.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have to show your kids the video, but you should watch it. You don\u2019t have to play judge and jury.<\/p>\n

Just enter into the horror of it all, if only for a moment.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s not allow another situation like this to pass by our news feed without engaging it\u2014personally and as a family.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s not miss the heart of God for all people or His anger toward injustice or our shared humanity.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s four life-shaping paths to engage our kids over Ahmaud\u2019s murder:<\/p>\n

Teach your kids how to empathize with the pain of others<\/h2>\n

Romans 12:15 exhorts us to \u201cWeep with those who weep, rejoice with those who rejoice.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rejoicing with others can be challenging enough.<\/p>\n

But we\u2019re usually not comfortable allowing ourselves to feel our own grief,<\/a> let alone someone else\u2019s. That\u2019s to our detriment\u2014as people charged with ministering to and feeling with others, even those who may not look like us.<\/p>\n

Hebrews tells us to \u201cRemember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body\u201d (13:3). Let yourself feel what other people feel, especially when they hurt.<\/p>\n

What might Ahmaud Arbery’s friends and family feel today?<\/p>\n

Anger. Sorrow. Fear. Hopelessness. Shock. Crippling grief. Loss of faith in humanity. In God?<\/p>\n

I can take a moment to say his name and think about him and help my kids do the same.<\/p>\n

I can challenge my kids to consider how people in the McMichael\u2019s circle might be processing what their family members did.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy kids don\u2019t care,\u201d you might say. I get it\u2014but that\u2019s the whole point.<\/p>\n

To acquire a Christian heart and mind, we need to start caring about what God cares about<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Teach your kids how to think about ethnicity<\/h2>\n

God created ethnicity. Humans created \u201crace.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Christ-followers, we have to keep separating ourselves from how the world handles race and remind ourselves how God sees people.<\/p>\n

Race is woven into the fabric of our cultural history.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s in the news. In politics. It\u2019s in the classroom. In movies and pop culture. On social media. Everywhere.<\/p>\n

If you fear talking about race, you\u2019re not alone. It\u2019s what first threatened to rip the church apart early in Acts (10:1-33).<\/p>\n

It\u2019s an emotionally charged topic most of us aren\u2019t equipped to discuss.<\/p>\n

But at the most fundamental level, we can teach our kids how God views ethnicity.<\/p>\n

This is a great opportunity for your kids to learn that God intentionally created ethnic differences<\/a>. To hear that He judges people not by the color of their skin but by their interaction with Jesus and others.<\/p>\n

When was the last time your kids heard a sermon from Revelation 5 or 7?\u00a0 Those chapters remind us that Jesus\u2019 blood ransoms people from \u201cevery tribe and language and people and nation.\u201d We\u2019ll spend eternity worshipping Jesus and living in a new kingdom together\u2014cross-ethnically!<\/p>\n

As racial rhetoric swirls, realize that God is not colorblind\u2014at least not the way we usually mean it. He created color and ethnic difference very purposefully.<\/p>\n

When situations like Ahmaud Arbery’s death are in the news, we can teach our kids to ask, \u201cWhat does God want to teach me about Himself through this person He created in His image who views and experiences the world differently from me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Like sex and money, if we don\u2019t engage our kids about race, plenty of other people will\u2014and already are.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s help our kids think like citizens of the kingdom that we wait for, not just the one we currently live in.<\/p>\n

Teach your kids to recognize injustice<\/h2>\n

\u201cJustice\u201d is one of God\u2019s attributes. Injustice is a perversion of His Kingdom will, denying on earth what\u2019s already true in heaven. Injustice in all its forms is satanic at its core.<\/p>\n

Isaiah 1:17 reminds us, \u201cLearn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.\u201d<\/p>\n

So it\u2019s wise for us to teach our kids about justice and injustice. Don\u2019t be thrown off by their use in popular politics\u2014these are significant Biblical terms.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019s wise to acclimate our kids to recognize injustice when they see it. To not be afraid to call something wrong in an age where they\u2019re taught never to distinguish between right and wrong.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s good for them to become sensitized to evil acts of people toward one another. It\u2019s ok to say, \u201cWhat these men did in this situation was something that God hates. We should hate this, too. Not the men themselves, but their evil actions toward Ahmaud Arbery.\u201d<\/p>\n

Teach your kids how to pray beyond their own small world<\/h2>\n

Most of the time, I pray with my kids about things that matter to them.<\/p>\n

That usually means they pray for friends, extended family, and themselves. Honestly, too often I regress into letting our prayers be almost entirely selfish.<\/p>\n

But situations like Ahmaud Arbery\u2019s deserve our prayerful attention.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s pray for his family members who are sad and angry tonight. That they would talk to Jesus about what happened and that He would meet them in the pain. For courage to stand for what\u2019s right no matter what other people think. Let\u2019s ask God to make sure the right things happen in the right way to the men who did it. And let\u2019s pray for their family, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Why not get in the habit of helping our kids turn their prayer life in the direction of national and world events, to crises that affect our neighbors both near and far?<\/p>\n

Praying only for personal problems while never praying about injustice for others deprives our kids and actually may inadvertently teach them a wrong view of God.<\/p>\n

Our kids need this guidance<\/h2>\n

As citizens of another kingdom we need to cry out to God and lament for the brokenness in this world. Especially for those who are actually suffering because of injustice right now.<\/p>\n

Zechariah 7:9 says, \u201cThis is what the Lord Almighty says: \u2018Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

How do we bring justice in situations that seem so far away from us?<\/p>\n

At the very least by allowing ourselves to speak about the injustice, then feel compassion for those experiencing the evil first hand.<\/p>\n

By reaching out to people who feel this the most deeply and letting them know you care. That you feel outrage. That you\u2019re sad.<\/p>\n

By standing with them from a distance and praying for justice in a broken world.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s not political.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s just Christian. And our kids need someone to teach them how to think like one, especially in areas we\u2019d rather avoid.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2020 Ed Uszynski. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n

If you want more help in shaping the four inner needs of your child’s heart, take FamilyLife’s free Art of Parenting course<\/a>.<\/h2>\n

About the Author<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ed Uszynski currently serves as Senior Content Strategist for Family Life. He and his wife Amy regularly speak at Weekend to Remember conferences and since 1992 have worked in various roles with Athletes in Action, primarily training staff and ministering to college and professional athletes. He has an MA and MDiv from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and a PhD in American Culture Studies from Bowling Green State University. They have four children and live in Xenia, OH. Follow him on Twitter @Uszynski32.<\/p>\n

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