{"id":9802,"date":"2012-03-30T16:34:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-30T21:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=9802"},"modified":"2012-03-30T16:34:00","modified_gmt":"2012-03-30T21:34:00","slug":"no-more-marriage-casualties","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/faith\/essentials-faith\/church-involvement\/no-more-marriage-casualties\/","title":{"rendered":"No More Marriage Casualties"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

July 2008<\/h2>\n

When Toni was a child, she grew up in a broken home. She missed not living with both of her parents every day. \u201cMostly, I lived with my mother,\u201d she says. \u201cShe taught us about the Lord and that He loved us, but I still missed my earthly father.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ted, on the other hand, grew up with both of his parents.\u00a0But open communication was lacking in his home. \u201cMy parents, though saved, did not communicate well,\u201d he says. \u201cMy father believed that being the head of the home meant doing whatever he felt was best without consulting or communicating with my mother or us children.\u201d<\/p>\n

When we married 31 years ago, we wanted our family to be different\u2014we wanted God\u2019s best. Since He designed the home with a mother and a father, then that\u2019s what we wanted for our family. We desired to be lifelong friends who shared in family decision-making.<\/p>\n

We also realized that we could never know enough about how to strengthen our marriage. When we attended a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaway<\/a>, we heard about FamilyLife\u2019s small-group Bible studies, The HomeBuilders Couples Series\u00ae<\/a>.We decided that it could help not only our marriage, but also other marriages in our church.<\/p>\n

A revolution in our church<\/h2>\n

We attend Christian Faith Fellowship Family Church in Middletown, N.Y., and its vision is to build strong families. Almost two and a half years ago we visited with our pastor and his wife about beginning a HomeBuilders small-group ministry. They agreed that the timing was right and that God was leading us.<\/p>\n

We didn\u2019t want to see any more divorces in our church. We felt that God was leading us to help strengthen others\u2019 marriages while continuing to build a strong marriage for ourselves. So in January 2006 four couples joined us in our first HomeBuilders Couples Series study.\u00a0In the last two and a half years, 96 couples have gone through the study, and it is revolutionizing our church.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve discovered that most married couples are ignorant of God\u2019s plan and purpose for marriage. Several of our couples came to a small group on the verge of divorce. One couple in particular told us there was nothing we could do to change their minds. They were already seeing an attorney, and they were set on getting divorced. By completing the HomeBuilders study and through prayer, they decided they would work with God and each other to build a strong marriage for the future of their children and grandchildren.<\/p>\n

Another couple had experienced some infidelity on both of their parts. The husband had stopped going to church. Following the sessions, he returned to church and is now seeking church membership. They renewed their wedding vows and are enjoying being married. They have forgiven each other. We saw them shopping together last week with their three children. It was a joy to behold!<\/p>\n

Graduation and renewing of wedding vows<\/h2>\n

After going through the study, couples have the option of renewing their wedding vows. More than 80 have done so in front of our congregation. We have one renewal-of-vows ceremony per season (winter, spring, summer, and fall), and it is incorporated into the morning service.<\/p>\n

We call it our graduation\/renewal-of-vows ceremony. Everyone dresses in the same colors (red, black, and white) just like any other graduation. Each bride is given a rose to carry in her hand. Before the service we pray over each couple individually and we line them up and prepare them to enter the sanctuary.<\/p>\n

As the couples walk down the aisle during the ceremony, their names are announced and their wedding pictures appear on a giant screen. The congregation applauds each couple. When all have come forward, we tell the congregation the vision of the HomeBuilders Couples Series, what we do in each class, and then we ask the couples to face each other and repeat their wedding vows. It\u2019s like a fresh start.<\/p>\n

On April 27, 2008, 25 married couples renewed their vows and sealed their words with a kiss on the platform in front of a few hundred people.<\/p>\n

We want even more marriages to be transformed and strengthened through HomeBuilders studies. That\u2019s why we are currently training some potential leaders who will help us facilitate additional groups. Our prayer is that there will be no further marriage casualties in our church.<\/p>\n

There is so much joy in knowing that we are making a difference in other people\u2019s lives. And to think that we just wanted to strengthen other marriages as we strengthened our own. We put our desire in God\u2019s hands and He did the rest.<\/p>\n

*The HomeBuilders Couples Series\u00ae is now The Art of Marriage\u00ae<\/sup>\u00a0Connect Series<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2008 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How the HomeBuilders Couples Series is revolutionizing our church.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15011,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"We felt that God was leading us to help strengthen others\u2019 marriages while continuing to build a strong marriage for ourselves.","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2867],"tags":[],"equip-category":[],"cwp_profile":[3517],"class_list":["post-9802","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-church-involvement","cwp_profile-ted-and-toni-ferguson"],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2018\/04\/SG-Couples-1040x326-1.jpg","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2018\/04\/SG-Couples-1040x326-1.jpg",1024,321,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Joshua Starcher","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/josh-starchercru-org\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"How the HomeBuilders Couples Series is revolutionizing our church.","meta_box":{"_cloudsearch_visibility":"","profile_obj_manual_select":false,"profile_obj":false,"separator":false,"enable_link":false,"login_restricted":"","content_type":"","disclaimer_banner":"","currency":false,"pricing_subtext":false,"element_type":false,"date_field":false,"date_format":false,"theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":"","series":false,"ignore_sticky":false,"conditional_blocks_category":false,"cta_selection":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9802","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9802"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9802\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15011"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9802"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9802"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9802"},{"taxonomy":"equip-category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/equip-category?post=9802"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=9802"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}