{"id":97622,"date":"2020-04-09T10:06:09","date_gmt":"2020-04-09T16:06:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=97622"},"modified":"2020-04-09T10:06:09","modified_gmt":"2020-04-09T16:06:09","slug":"my-familys-new-normal-is-anything-but-normal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/life-issues\/challenges\/my-familys-new-normal-is-anything-but-normal\/","title":{"rendered":"My Family\u2019s New Normal Is Anything But Normal"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

Last week, I sent my boss a text that sums up what my new normal<\/em> looks like right now.<\/p>\n

I walked into the garage to grab something from the freezer today. I come inside to child #2* crying because child #1* called him a name. Child #2 told child #1 she would have no friends because she\u2019s bossy. I took #1\u2019s phone and banned #2 from the TV. They both got mad at me. So that encouraged solidarity of siblings, right?\u00a0 <\/em>(*Names withheld to protect the not-so innocent.)<\/p>\n

As another suddenly home-schooling, working mom of two, she could relate.<\/p>\n

None of us saw ourselves in this situation. And while we love the extra time with our families (in fact, it\u2019s at the top of my gratitude prayers), none of us would have chosen this route to get there.<\/p>\n

So, what is this new normal I keep hearing everyone speak of? Honestly? I don\u2019t know. The kids are bored, cranky, and feeling caged in. The husband and I don\u2019t feel much different. And none of us would describe our lives right now as normal.<\/p>\n

When your new normal<\/em> feels anything but<\/h2>\n

My family is still struggling to find our groove in all of this. (Just nod in agreement to make me feel better about myself.) We\u2019re a few weeks in, and I\u2019m still feeling a little frazzled most days.<\/p>\n

Develop a new routine<\/em>, common sense and a slew of articles and experts tell me. Make sure the kids are still on a schedule but be flexible.<\/em> Sure. I\u2019ll be so flexible that I let them sleep in until whenever because those are the only uninterrupted work hours I\u2019ll have until 10 p.m.<\/p>\n

Just the other day, I sat across from my son, skimming a home-school packet from his teacher and arguing about the life cycle of a dang butterfly. At the same time, my work computer beckoned me with chat and email notifications I still hadn\u2019t responded to. Friends sent texts I wanted to reply to.<\/p>\n

It feels hard to focus on anything when everything calls you. That\u2019s kind of what this new normal feels like. Work is still on (also high on my gratitude list); School is still on. It\u2019s all just different. And it feels all on me. And while I\u2019m thankful home isn\u2019t canceled<\/a>, my patience sure is.<\/p>\n

But I feel guilty about all of it. Guilty for not getting that work assignment in on time. Or for sharply telling my son to hush<\/em> during the live stream of our church\u2019s service (who\u2019s gonna hear him?). Guilty for feeding my family leftovers three nights in a row. And for not having regular craft time with the kids (bedazzled toilet paper cozy, anyone?).<\/p>\n

I even feel a little guilty for admitting all this now. I\u2019m the mom<\/em>, I remind myself. I\u2019m supposed to be the one to have it all together.<\/em><\/p>\n

Receive more encouraging content like this delivered to your inbox!<\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>\n

It\u2019s OK if things look a little crazy<\/h2>\n

Right now, I\u2019d love to offer you some great tips on organizing your family \u2026 finding time for what matters most \u2026 or even how to get the local grocery to honor the two for one coupon day when they\u2019re limiting you to only one of those items (because everybody\u2019s stockpiling dill pickles apparently).<\/p>\n

But I can\u2019t. Not today anyway. Today was hard.<\/p>\n

This afternoon, I found myself hiding in my closet munching on the kids\u2019 Easter candy. Because I just needed a minute. Time to clear my head and calm my nerves. I texted a friend and called my mom. They both reminded me of something I knew but wasn\u2019t accepting: It\u2019s OK for my new normal to look a little wacky right now.<\/p>\n

If I have to lower the standard for how structured my kids \u201cschooling\u201d looks, that\u2019s OK. Or if my productivity at work is lower than I\u2019m used to, I can say so without feeling like a slacker. Or If I\u2019m having a few extra cups of coffee to get me through the day \u2026 just kidding. That\u2019s the old normal, too.<\/p>\n

If I\u2019m learning anything amid this crisis (it\u2019s not likely I\u2019m learning much), it\u2019s this: I have control of very little, and my life won\u2019t look like it did a few weeks ago for maybe some time. And that sounds crazy, but it\u2019s completely out of my control. So, all those unrealistic standards I\u2019m setting for myself based on that life\u2014that\u2019s a little crazy, too.<\/p>\n

No one\u2019s new normal looks normal now<\/h2>\n

Just before I sent my boss the \u201cupdate\u201d of my day, she sent me a lovely picture of mom-ing at it\u2019s finest. But it wasn\u2019t a product of her own day. It was someone else\u2019s. \u201cMy kids played alone today!\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n

That made me feel a little better. Her \u201cnew normal\u201d wasn\u2019t perfect either. And I\u2019ll bet yours looks a little wacky, too. We\u2019re all figuring this mess out together. And some days are going to be harder than others.<\/p>\n

But you know what? That\u2019s OK. Wacky might be our new normal.<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2020 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n

Lisa Lakey is a writer and editor for FamilyLife. Before joining the ministry in 2017, she was a freelance writer covering parenting and Southern culture. She and her husband, Josh, have been married since 2004. Lisa and Josh live in Benton, Arkansas, with their two children, Ella and Max.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since the coronavirus quarantine hijacked our lives, I feel frazzled. It’s hard to focus on anything when everything is on me in this new normal. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":349,"featured_media":97802,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"Since the coronavirus quarantine hijacked our lives, I feel frazzled. It's hard to focus on anything when everything is on me in this new normal.","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2930],"tags":[2890],"equip-category":[],"cwp_profile":[3190],"class_list":["post-97622","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-challenges","tag-homeisntcanceled","cwp_profile-lisa-lakey"],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2020\/04\/My-Familys-New-Normal-Is-Anything-But-Normal_1040x326.jpg","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2020\/04\/My-Familys-New-Normal-Is-Anything-But-Normal_1040x326.jpg",1024,321,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Lisa","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/llakeyfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Since the coronavirus quarantine hijacked our lives, I feel frazzled. It's hard to focus on anything when everything is on me in this new normal.","meta_box":{"_cloudsearch_visibility":"","profile_obj_manual_select":false,"profile_obj":false,"separator":false,"enable_link":false,"login_restricted":"","content_type":"","disclaimer_banner":"","currency":false,"pricing_subtext":false,"element_type":false,"date_field":false,"date_format":false,"theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":"","series":false,"ignore_sticky":false,"conditional_blocks_category":false,"cta_selection":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97622","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/349"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=97622"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97622\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/97802"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=97622"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=97622"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=97622"},{"taxonomy":"equip-category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/equip-category?post=97622"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=97622"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}