{"id":94594,"date":"2020-02-03T14:22:21","date_gmt":"2020-02-03T21:22:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=94594"},"modified":"2020-02-03T14:22:21","modified_gmt":"2020-02-03T21:22:21","slug":"will-you-be-my-bridesmaid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/getting-married\/engagements-and-weddings\/will-you-be-my-bridesmaid\/","title":{"rendered":"Will you be my Bridesmaid?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

I confess, I\u2019ve been planning my wedding since middle school.\u00a0I remember sitting on my friend\u2019s bed and listing off the girls I would ask to be my bridesmaids. Having my best friends beside me to celebrate my marriage to the man of my dreams is something I’ve always looked forward to.<\/p>\n

While I still don\u2019t have a ring on my finger, I\u2019ve attended and participated in many friends\u2019 weddings. And I\u2019ve considered who I would choose as my bridesmaids when my day comes.<\/p>\n

I’ve seen wedding photos with 15 attendants on each side, and I wonder how close they really are to their wedding party. Were they intentional in their choosing, or just unable to narrow it down?<\/p>\n

Maybe you have seven sisters. Maybe your mother-in-law-to-be expects the groom\u2019s third cousin to be in the mix. Sometimes for the sake of the family there\u2019s no getting around it. But for those you can invite to stand beside you on your wedding day, what\u2019s a helpful filter as you cherry pick your bridesmaids?<\/p>\n

As I dream of my wedding day, I think about more than which friends can plan a smashing bridal shower and handle wedding details. Don\u2019t get me wrong, you should care about that, too. But more importantly, I want women who\u2019ll stick with me for life and help me be the wife I long to be.<\/p>\n

To help narrow down who I\u2019d ask to be my bridesmaid, I\u2019ve asked myself these questions:<\/p>\n

1. Will my bridesmaid defend my marriage, not just me?<\/h2>\n

I’m thankful for loyal friends.\u00a0 Knowing they\u2019ve got my back is comforting.<\/p>\n

However, some women let loyalty trump their efforts in helping her pursue a godly marriage. For instance, when marriage conflicts arise, they always take their friend\u2019s side. They bend over backwards to help their friend feel justified. They think they\u2019re loving their friend best by appeasing them.<\/p>\n

When a couple gets married, the minister often says, \u201cLet no man put asunder\u201d or \u201clet no man separate.\u201d Actually, Jesus said it first (Mark 10:9<\/a>). Jesus\u2019s words establish that marriage is designed to last a lifetime<\/a>, never to be severed by the husband or wife. However, it also warns others from finagling a way to pull the spouses apart.<\/p>\n

The friends I invite to be my bridesmaids must be committed to helping me love and respect my spouse, not just defending me.<\/p>\n

2. Will she redirect my eyes to Jesus?<\/h2>\n

Have you noticed how your friends\u2019 relationships with Jesus not only change their lives, but yours as well? You become the happy recipient of the fresh truths Jesus shows them. What a wonderful gift!<\/p>\n

As I enter into the unknown adventure of marriage, I’ll need friends who love me enough to stick my nose up against the truth when my vision gets foggy.<\/p>\n

Like when I\u2019m worried about insignificant details. Or when I\u2019m swallowed by fear and need to remember God is \u201cmy hiding place\u201d (Psalm 32:7<\/a>). I need a friend who has the wisdom to recognize my straying thoughts and know Whose character I need to focus on instead.<\/p>\n

Of course I enjoy the friends I discuss movies and clothes with, but I\u2019m blessed most by the women who\u2019s love for Jesus spills out when you bump into them. Because of their track record, I can count on them helping me foster a godly marriage.<\/p>\n

Which of your friends do this already? Do you know people like this who you should invite into your life?<\/p>\n

Grow closer to God with our free devotional download.<\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>\n

3. Will my bridesmaid be truthful with me?<\/h2>\n

In addition to helping my thought life stay on track, I pray my bridesmaids will call me out when I\u2019ve spoken or acted out of turn. As much as I want friends who are big Lauren fans, I need more than cheerleaders. I\u2019m going to need some tough love if they see me speak disrespectfully to my future spouse.<\/p>\n

Do you have friends who aren\u2019t afraid to say it like it is? If you\u2019ve hurt them, do they tell you in grace and truth?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m likely to be a better wife if I have other people calling me up to love my neighbor always, not just when it\u2019s convenient. If a friend does this already, I want them invested in my future marriage as well.<\/p>\n

4. Will she be excited for me or weep with me when I need it?<\/h2>\n

It\u2019s defeating when you can\u2019t depend on someone to share in your highs and<\/em> lows.<\/p>\n

Hopefully my fiance will do this already, but having friends to rejoice about your acceptance to grad school or cry with you about a recent diagnosis lifts your soul. I want to know these friends care enough about my well-being to obey Romans 12:15\u2019s<\/a> call to \u201crejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.\u201d<\/p>\n

My lasting friendships have been with those who check in and care about the details of my life. Most of my best friends live out of state, but this hasn\u2019t stopped us. My future spouse will have the greatest responsibility in this department, but having others in our lives caring for us will make a huge difference.<\/p>\n

So as I fiddle with my hypothetical bridesmaid list, I\u2019m already thinking, \u201cWho will help me be a godly wife<\/a>?\u201d and \u201cAre they committed to God\u2019s Word and loving me in all seasons?\u201d If \u201cyes\u201d resounds, I can\u2019t wait to invite them to stand beside me on that special day!<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2020 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n

Lauren Miller is\u00a0 a writer for FamilyLife .\u00a0 She’s a California girl who graduated from Biola University and the Torrey Honors Institute where the Lord first planted in her a love for family and marriage ministry. As a single, she loves serving the youth at her church, watching British dramas, and reading a good book in her free time. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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