{"id":9322,"date":"2012-06-15T15:10:00","date_gmt":"2012-06-15T20:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=9322"},"modified":"2012-06-15T15:10:00","modified_gmt":"2012-06-15T20:10:00","slug":"we-didnt-take-time-for-us-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/real-stories\/marriage-real-stories\/good-marriages-made-better\/we-didnt-take-time-for-us-2\/","title":{"rendered":"We Didn’t Take Time for ‘Us’"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

We\u2019ve been friends for a long time. We met in the seventh grade and started dating during our senior year of high school. And after more than 17 years of marriage, we\u2019re still best friends. We agree on all of the major issues such as faith, raising our two children, and finances. We also enjoy being with one another\u2014whether we\u2019re at home, shopping, or at work. (John is a Doctor of Chiropractic in private practice in Flanders, N.J., and Kristina is the office manager.)<\/p>\n

Despite our good relationship, something was missing in our marriage. Although we loved each other deeply, the busyness of life seemed to always put our marriage and romance on the back burner. We felt like we were okay because we had a solid faith. But the fact was: We didn\u2019t take time for \u201cus\u201d because everything else always came first.<\/p>\n

Low expectations<\/strong><\/h2>\n

That all started to change when we attended our first Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaway in 2007 as group coordinators for our church. At the time, we were leading six young couples through a study in The HomeBuilders Couples Series\u00ae (FamilyLife\u2019s small-group Bible studies). Frankly, we weren\u2019t expecting much from the conference for ourselves because we knew that we already had a good marriage.<\/p>\n

But that weekend was truly amazing. It brought our marriage and relationship to a level we never knew existed.<\/p>\n

At the conference we were reminded that we were special gifts from God to one another. We took time to reflect on our years together and remembered why we fell in love. As we shared all that we meant to one another, we realized that we let our expressions of affection get hidden under layers and layers of busyness.<\/p>\n

One of the projects was to write a love letter to each other. At first, we felt a little uncomfortable doing this. But as we got going, the words just flowed and buried feelings welled up inside each of us. When we opened our hearts, it was as though we were reunited emotionally and spiritually.<\/p>\n

Concealing his emotions<\/h2>\n

John grew up in an alcoholic home where positive emotions weren\u2019t expressed and praise wasn\u2019t given. Because of this, he learned to conceal his emotions to the point that he was literally unable to cry. When we shared our love letters, God blessed us with a time of intimacy and weeping in one another\u2019s arms. We were overwhelmed with feelings of love and thankfulness for our marriage, family, and faith.<\/p>\n

It was such a blessing for us to share our deep love for one another. Although there was great joy and gratitude as we read our letters, there was also some remorse in John\u2019s heart for not expressing his feelings in the past.<\/p>\n

When we returned home from the conference, we were better able to handle life\u2019s hectic schedule and challenges. Although all is not perfect, we now recognize our blessings more than ever. John gives more compliments and has turned off the television. He also is a better listener and realizes that intimacy is an environment that has to be created. He\u2019s spending more time getting into the kids\u2019 world and prays with the entire family.<\/p>\n

Kristina has also turned off the TV to make more time for John and the kids. She\u2019s trying to take the focus off of herself and onto Christ. She\u2019s more sensitive to John\u2019s needs and is really making an effort to let him know that she loves and accepts him as God\u2019s gift\u2014that her love is not based on his performance or provisions. Today, she makes it a point to let John know that she is his biggest cheerleader.<\/p>\n

Our kids have watched us change<\/h2>\n

Our kids, Michael (12) and Maria (11) have seen our acts of service to one another increase since attending the Weekend to Remember. More importantly, they\u2019ve watched us grow in patience and joy. We\u2019ve been more tender towards one another, and we don\u2019t hide the fact that we sometimes face troubles, as all couples do. When troubles come, we now openly seek God\u2019s help. We pray that our love and commitment to one another will give our kids a godly example of marriage.<\/p>\n

After the Weekend to Remember, we rededicated our lives to God, to one another, and to raising a godly family. That shared weekend experience has helped us when life has gotten hectic. Our marriage has become deeper and richer in love and commitment. We now not only understand, but also embrace our God-given strengths and weaknesses.<\/p>\n

Remembering our special time together at the marriage conference still brings us joy and peace and draws us closer to one another and to God. It was truly a Weekend to Remember\u2014one we nearly missed because we almost let the rest of life take top priority. We almost didn\u2019t take the time for \u201cus\u201d!<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a92008 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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