{"id":9321,"date":"2012-06-14T18:43:00","date_gmt":"2012-06-14T23:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=9321"},"modified":"2012-06-14T18:43:00","modified_gmt":"2012-06-14T23:43:00","slug":"was-it-worth-fighting-over-a-steak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/real-stories\/marriage-real-stories\/good-marriages-made-better\/was-it-worth-fighting-over-a-steak\/","title":{"rendered":"Was It Worth Fighting Over a Steak?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>
\n
I was really looking forward to Memorial Day weekend last year\u2014three days of relaxation and quality time with my husband.\u00a0He and I had not enjoyed a getaway since my mother\u2019s death earlier in the year. \u00a0It was just what we needed, plus it was my birthday. \u00a0We saved, pooled our money, and reserved a delightful cottage in a tourist town in the Ozark Mountains.<\/div>\n

After we arrived and settled in, our first excursion was dinner at a fine dining restaurant for my birthday.\u00a0It was a special evening, so I even wore a dress.\u00a0I couldn\u2019t have anticipated that conflict would arise at dinner, or that my response would determine the outcome of the rest of the weekend.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Once we were seated and had reviewed the menu, I decided I wanted the filet mignon.\u00a0A little pricey, yes, but I thought it was a night to splurge, and I knew we would likely dine at more casual restaurants the rest of the weekend.\u00a0My husband whispered, \u201cNo, get something less expensive.\u201d So I settled for the chicken marsala.<\/p>\n

Then I requested a Caesar salad. \u201cNo, that\u2019s extra, get the garden salad that comes with the entr\u00e9e.\u201d\u00a0This time, his reply was laced with irritation and he did not whisper. \u00a0Not knowing how much money he had allowed for dinner and not wanting to argue, I complied.<\/p>\n

Blood boiling<\/h5>\n

My meal was delicious, and I didn\u2019t think another thing about it.\u00a0That is, until it was time to pay.\u00a0My husband pulled out a card that I didn\u2019t recognize.\u00a0\u201cWhat is that?\u201d I asked.\u00a0He explained it was a pre-paid card\u2014a gift for helping with a church banquet.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow much?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cA hundred dollars.\u201d<\/p>\n

At that point, I could feel my blood starting to boil.\u00a0\u201cYou mean to tell me that you had a hundred-dollar gift card and you wouldn\u2019t let me have a steak?\u201d<\/p>\n

I could tell by his reply that he was getting defensive: \u201cWell, Glenda, I didn\u2019t want to spend it all in one place!\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a time in my life when my fangs would have come out over a perceived wrong, but I have learned a lot about handling conflict with my husband.\u00a0He is a good man, but sometimes can be a tightwad.\u00a0Knowing we had cash for the rest of the weekend, I just could not make sense of his answer.<\/p>\n

Then I remembered the seminar I had attended on being a \u201cPeacemaker.\u201d<\/p>\n

I took a deep breath and silently asked the Holy Spirit to calm me down and use this incident for His glory. But how could I glorify God in this conflict?<\/p>\n

I had to make a choice<\/h5>\n

Is a steak worth a fight?\u00a0Of course it isn\u2019t!\u00a0The whole thing seemed ridiculous, but I still had to make a choice: either stand up for my rights and risk ruining the evening, or surrender it to God and trust Him.<\/p>\n

God\u2019s Word tells us, \u201cA man\u2019s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression\u201d (Proverbs 19:11, NASB).\u00a0To me, overlooking a transgression means forgiving without being asked, walking in love instead of anger, and allowing love to cover a multitude of \u201csins\u201d (Ephesians 5:2; 1 Peter 4:8). After all, I wasn\u2019t going to starve if I didn\u2019t have a steak.\u00a0It wasn\u2019t significant enough to draw a line in the sand.<\/p>\n

So I smiled at my husband as we left the restaurant and gently took his hand.\u00a0I think he was surprised that I wasn\u2019t mad.\u00a0I also chose to bless him with my love later that night instead of returning \u201cinsult for insult\u201d (1 Peter 3:9).<\/p>\n

Since then, I have reflected on what could have happened if I hadn\u2019t obeyed God.\u00a0I could visualize my anger escalating \u2026 saying unkind words \u2026 giving or getting the silent treatment \u2026 \u00a0and being miserable for the rest of the trip.<\/p>\n

Instead, the next few days couldn\u2019t have been more fun.\u00a0We laughed and loved, had great conversations, shared from a devotional book each day, dined at some unique little restaurants, and did some touristy activities\u2014all without saying anything else about the cost.<\/p>\n

I confess that anger was once one of my besetting sins.\u00a0But the transforming power of the Holy Spirit continues to conform me to His image. Through God\u2019s grace and years of practice, I have witnessed a change in my heart attitude and self-control.\u00a0The blessing I gave my husband was, ultimately, mine too.<\/p>\n

And someday, I\u2019ll forget about that steak.<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a92013 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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