{"id":9320,"date":"2012-08-30T14:08:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-30T19:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=9320"},"modified":"2012-08-30T14:08:00","modified_gmt":"2012-08-30T19:08:00","slug":"my-wife-didnt-feel-like-she-was-my-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/real-stories\/marriage-real-stories\/good-marriages-made-better\/my-wife-didnt-feel-like-she-was-my-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"My Wife Didn’t Feel Like She Was My Friend"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

Not too long ago there was a little rift between my wife, Marisa, and me. Although it had been going on for a few days, I thought she\u2019d eventually tell me whatever was on her mind.<\/p>\n

Well \u2026 two weeks later \u2026 Marisa and I were lying in bed about to go to sleep when I decided to bring it up. I rolled over and faced her, \u201cBabe, are we going to talk about this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTalk about what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d I said, \u201cit just feels like there\u2019s something going on between us.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sighed, \u201cOh, it\u2019s nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

I thought, If this is nothing, what will <\/em>something be like?<\/em><\/p>\n

After some prompting she continued, \u201cI just don\u2019t feel like I\u2019m your friend. You don\u2019t treat me like someone you care about. I don\u2019t think you really care about me as a person.\u201d<\/p>\n

What about my needs?<\/h5>\n

Immediately I knew what my response should be: Ask Marisa to forgive me for allowing her to feel like that. But a nanosecond later, I also knew what I really wanted to do. After all, I was getting toasted in this deal. What about my needs? What if I apologized and Marisa didn\u2019t reciprocate?<\/p>\n

I hadn\u2019t done what I should have done. And amazingly, I didn\u2019t do what I wanted to do. My claim to fame was that I said nothing\u2014I just shut my mouth.<\/p>\n

The next day I was still thinking about what Marisa had said and wondered where she\u2019d come up with that idea. I asked the Lord to help me respond appropriately \u2026 because I really had no intention of her feeling that way and I wanted to do the right thing.<\/p>\n

Then I asked myself, \u201cJared, what advice would you give someone who came to you with this same problem?\u201d I knew I\u2019d tell him to go to her and say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry that\u2019s how you feel. Would you help me be a better friend to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Date night<\/strong><\/h5>\n

That night I swallowed my pride and took Marisa out on a date. Sitting at a small table in Starbucks, Marisa asked me what we should talk about. I looked right at her and said, \u201cI’d like to talk about being a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked up at me, \u201cOh, Jared, you\u2019re doing a great job. Ever since our talk things have turned around.\u201d<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t believe what I was hearing. My head was spinning. \u201cI thought I was being the same idiot I\u2019ve always been.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, no,\u201d she said with confidence in her voice. \u201cHow you respond to me, answer questions \u2026 it\u2019s been great. You\u2019ve asked me about things I\u2019m doing \u2026 You\u2019ve asked me about how I\u2019ve been. It\u2019s fantastic!\u201d<\/p>\n

Fantastic? I wished I\u2019d known earlier that it was that easy to show Marisa that she\u2019s my friend\u2014someone I really do care about.<\/p>\n

God tells us husbands to live with our wives in an understanding way. I can\u2019t help but wonder: What would have happened if I\u2019d never asked Marisa if something was wrong between us? What would have happened if I didn\u2019t zip my lip \u2026 or take her out on a date? What would have happened if I\u2019d waited for her to do something right first?<\/p>\n

If we had both waited, who would have made the first move? Maybe nobody.<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2013 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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