{"id":9307,"date":"2012-06-14T18:46:00","date_gmt":"2012-06-14T23:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=9307"},"modified":"2012-06-14T18:46:00","modified_gmt":"2012-06-14T23:46:00","slug":"was-marriage-the-biggest-mistake-of-her-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/real-stories\/marriage-real-stories\/resurrected-marriages\/was-marriage-the-biggest-mistake-of-her-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Was Marriage the Biggest Mistake of Her Life?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

Susan and Larry Arndt say their dating relationship was awesome. \u201cHe was so godly toward me,\u201d Susan recalls. \u201cAlways kind, always polite. I couldn\u2019t get enough of him. He just treated me like a queen.\u201d They dated for six months, and she expected bliss when they married on December 5, 2008.<\/p>\n

Susan was 50 years old when she vowed lifelong love; it was her first marriage. Larry had been married for 23 years before his first wife died, leaving him with two adult children in their early twenties.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t long before Susan started wondering if she had made the biggest mistake of her life. She and Larry were both very independent and had different expectations for their marriage. That realization became obvious just one day after their small wedding when the father of one of Susan\u2019s dear friends died. \u00a0Susan was surprised when Larry did not agree to delay their honeymoon so she could pay her respects.<\/p>\n

After a long argument, the newlyweds stayed home to go to the funeral and then left on their honeymoon two days late. When they returned on December 23, Susan wanted to start some new Christmas traditions. But Larry and his children wanted the holiday celebration \u201clike it used to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Neither wanted to change<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Susan adjusted to being a stepmother and the wife of a man who is accustomed to being his own boss at home and at work. Larry owns his own business, and that requires extra time at the office. After the wedding, he went back to his old work schedule. \u201cI guess when you are dating,\u201d Larry says, \u201cyou put your best foot forward \u2026 and you kind of relax a little bit [after you get married].\u201d<\/p>\n

Like Larry, Susan is used to being her own boss. That began when her parents died; she was just 17 years old at the time. \u00a0She also ran her own housecleaning business before she and Larry were married. As you can imagine she was pretty set in her ways.<\/p>\n

Susan thought Larry would do things her way, and he thought she would do things his way. Neither of them wanted to change.<\/p>\n

After three marriage counselors in 12 months, Susan became convinced that unless God intervened, she and Larry would not make it.\u00a0The Arndts fought so much that it got to be the norm. Larry said Susan\u2019s standards were too high; Susan complained that he didn\u2019t give her enough attention.<\/p>\n

Finding hope<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Marriage counseling wasn\u2019t doing the Arndts much good. So when Susan heard about a\u00a0Weekend to Remember\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway<\/a> on FamilyLife Today<\/a><\/em> radio, she asked Larry if he would go.<\/p>\n

The getaway began on Friday evening, October 23, 2009. After a 5 p.m. counseling session that same day, Susan and Larry stopped by their house. He grabbed an apple out of the refrigerator\u2014for himself\u2014because they hadn\u2019t eaten dinner. As they were sitting in the car together Susan says she was thinking, Gee, thanks for thinking about me. I\u2019m hungry, too.<\/em><\/p>\n

Is it any surprise that they were late for the first session of the conference? The hotel ballroom was packed, and they got stuck in the very back of the room. That ended up being a blessing, however, because they sat by two of the speakers.<\/p>\n

Between sessions Susan got to talk with Brenda, the main speaker\u2019s wife. She sensed that Brenda and the other two speakers really cared about the couples\u2019 marriages. \u201cShe was so kind to me and I told her something that was really bothering me,\u201d Susan says, \u201cand I started to cry and she just hugged me and she told me that it would be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

On Saturday morning both Susan and Larry were connecting with the speakers. Susan noticed Larry nodding and commenting to himself about things the speakers said about marriage. \u201cHe was really listening to what the speakers were saying,\u201d Susan says, \u201cand I was too. And I was learning so much.\u201d Before long, the Arndts both forgot about their individual desires and started understanding God’s plan for their marriage and how wonderful it could be.<\/p>\n

During one project those attending the getaway were asked to write love letters to each other. \u201cLarry’s just touched my heart so much.\u201d Susan says. And on the final day of the conference they renewed their wedding vows. \u201cWe were holding hands and I looked up at Larry with tears coming down his face,\u201d Susan says. \u201cI knew then that we were going to make it. I knew he was really committed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Larry describes himself as very goal-oriented. \u201cIf I want to do something I really go for it.\u201d At the Weekend to Remember he decided to really go for his marriage\u2014to make things work. \u201cIf you want a raise or whatever in life you have to work hard,\u201d he says, \u201cAnd you have to do the exact same thing in marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n

Still learning<\/strong><\/h5>\n

It\u2019s been two years since Larry and Susan attended a Weekend to Remember, and they are continuing to turn more and more to God for help. Susan used to wonder, Why does Larry act this way?<\/em> or Why does he treat me this way? <\/em>She used to put all of the blame on Larry. \u201cNow I just get down on my knees and ask the Lord, \u2018How am I not being a godly wife?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Larry also is turning to the Lord in times of conflict. Not too long ago Susan walked into their bedroom and saw Larry on his knees praying, asking the Lord to help guide them. \u201cThat made me fall in love with my husband all over again,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

God worked through the Weekend to Remember to show the Arndts His plan for marriage. They still have their getaway workbooks. Susan says that she can\u2019t help but smile when she rereads Larry\u2019s love letter to her.<\/p>\n

Larry is showing Susan his love by trying to be much more attentive. Often he makes Susan a higher priority than ministry or phone calls. \u201cBefore the getaway,\u201d Susan says, \u201cThey were always before me.\u201d He\u2019s also doing little things for Susan, like bringing her a cup of tea before she goes to bed.<\/p>\n

Psalm 27:13-14 says, \u201cI believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!\u201d After the getaway Susan began to change these words a little in her prayers:\u00a0\u201c\u2026 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness in my marriage.”<\/p>\n

Larry and Susan are now seeing God answer those prayers.\u00a0\u201cRecently we went over two weeks without one harsh word to each other,\u201d Susan says. \u201cAnd for Larry and me, that\u2019s an amazing blessing from God.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2013 by FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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