{"id":9026,"date":"2013-11-14T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-11-14T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=9026"},"modified":"2013-11-14T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-11-14T00:00:00","slug":"5-things-all-moms-of-young-children-need-to-hear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/parenting\/essentials\/mothers\/5-things-all-moms-of-young-children-need-to-hear\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Things All Moms of Young Children Need to Hear"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

When we celebrated my oldest daughter\u2019s 10th birthday, it got me thinking a lot about what I\u2019d learned over my 10 years as a mom. It also made me contemplate what I wish I could go back and tell my then 23-year-old self.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s so much I could say. So much I\u2019ve learned. So much I wish I\u2019d done differently.<\/p>\n

Before my first daughter was born, I went into motherhood thinking I knew a lot about parenting and caring for babies. In truth, I did have a lot more experience than many people: I\u2019m the second of seven children; I spent many hours and days as a teen babysitting for a number of large families of little children; and after my husband and I got married, I worked as a mother\u2019s helper\/nanny for three different families\u2014all of whom had young children.<\/p>\n

I had changed countless dirty diapers and soothed many a crying baby and child. I had helped potty-train. I had cared for sick kids. I had cleaned up throw up. I had been spilled on, wet on, and spit-up on.<\/p>\n

So I thought I was pretty well prepared and realistic. I didn\u2019t expect motherhood be a walk in the park, and fully expected that many days would be tiring and hard.<\/p>\n

But the day Kathrynne was born and we brought her home from the birth center, all that former confidence grew legs and walked right out of my life.<\/p>\n

I felt so scared. What if I don\u2019t feed her enough? What if I don\u2019t lay her down in bed right? How do I know if something\u2019s wrong?<\/em><\/p>\n

I felt alone\u2014especially since I didn\u2019t know any other young moms in our area. Am I the only one who feels this way? Do all the other moms know instinctively what to do?<\/em><\/p>\n

And I felt overwhelmed. Am I ever going to get in a shower again before noon? Will I always feel this tired and worn done? HOW ON EARTH DO PEOPLE HAVE TWO KIDS??<\/em><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re a young mom right now, I want to tell you what I wish I could go back and tell myself when I was a brand new mom:<\/p>\n

1. You are not alone.<\/h2>\n

No matter how incompetent or unskilled you feel for this motherhood thing, I can promise, promise you that you are not alone. There are an army of other moms in the trenches with you. And none of us have it together.<\/p>\n

Some of us may hide our struggles out of fear. Some of us may be more skilled in certain areas. Some of us may naturally have more energy or capacity.<\/p>\n

But none of us have all our ducks in a neat and alphabetized row. We all have areas where we fall short. We all have times when we feel like we\u2019re not doing a good enough job. We all have times when we struggle with \u201cmom guilt.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, instead of trying to hide your struggles, be honest with those closest to you. Vulnerability breeds strong friendships like just about nothing else will.<\/p>\n

2. You\u2019ve got what it takes.<\/h2>\n

I know it doesn\u2019t feel like you\u2019ve got what it takes. You feel scared and unqualified. You\u2019re overwhelmed.<\/p>\n

Your heart is walking outside your body. You worry that you\u2019re not doing enough. You wonder if you\u2019re seriously messing up your child.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m here to tell you: You\u2019ve got what it takes. You can do this.<\/p>\n

You were uniquely gifted and equipped by God to be your child\u2019s mother. God doesn\u2019t call the qualified; He qualifies those whom He calls.<\/p>\n

Cry out to Him for the strength, the grace, the patience, and the energy to carry out this calling He\u2019s given you. He will never, never, never leave you or forsake you. And His grace is always sufficient.<\/p>\n

3. You won\u2019t be this tired forever.<\/h2>\n

You\u2019re tired of your child crying. You\u2019re tired of waking over and over again in the night. You\u2019re tired of doing the same things again and again.<\/p>\n

You feel flabby and lethargic. You look in the mirror and barely recognize the woman staring back at you. You wonder if you\u2019re ever going to be able to fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans. You wonder where all your energy went.<\/p>\n

Trust me on this: You won\u2019t be this tired forever. Even though it feels like you\u2019ll be waking up every two hours for the rest of your life and propping open your eyeballs with toothpicks to make it through the day, it won\u2019t always be like this.<\/p>\n

So don\u2019t stress over tomorrow or two years from now. Get as much sleep as you can, accept any offers of help, do whatever it takes to get some shut-eye. And just power through, knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel\u2014and it\u2019s called kids who sleep through the night!<\/p>\n

Also, please know that just because your 12-month-old doesn\u2019t sleep through the night yet even though you\u2019ve read all the books and tried all the tactics, you\u2019re not a bad mom. You just have a child who struggles to sleep.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t beat yourself up over it. Do the best you can, keep experimenting, and know that someday soon, your child is going to figure it out.<\/p>\n

For now, just do what you need to do to make it through \u2014 even if not everyone thinks it\u2019s the \u201cright\u201d thing. You are your child\u2019s mother. Trust your gut.<\/p>\n

4. You don\u2019t have to do it perfectly.<\/h2>\n

Really, you don\u2019t. Just stop trying already.<\/p>\n

I know you feel like you don\u2019t measure up to Sallie Sue who arrives early to church every Sunday morning looking like a model with her three kids under 4 all in hand-smocked outfits and intricate braids in their hair. I get it.<\/p>\n

Maybe that\u2019s what gives Sallie Sue great joy and fulfillment, but take a deep breath and know that it\u2019s completely okay to walk to the beat of a different drum. You\u2019re not Sallie Sue. You\u2019re YOU. Be you\u2014and embrace what\u2019s best for you and your family.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t need to apologize for it or explain it. Just be you, bravely.<\/p>\n

5. You are going to work yourself out of a job.<\/h2>\n

Right now, it\u2019s completely impossible for you to imagine not changing diapers, wiping bottoms, taking little people potty, not constantly hearing \u201cMoooommmmy!\u201d, not having to cut everyone\u2019s food up, not having to buckle everyone in when you get into the car, not having to give baths, get everyone dressed, and help little people brush their teeth.<\/p>\n

But there will come a day\u2014and it will be sooner than you believe it will be\u2014when you start working yourself out of a job. When those little people get a little bit bigger and they start learning how to do things for themselves.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a S-L-O-W process, but looking back, it seems to happen in the blink of an eye. And all of a sudden, you wake up one day and your oldest is 10 years old and she\u2019s taking over the family\u2019s laundry, helping with the cooking, cleaning bathrooms, and asking what else she can do to help you.<\/p>\n

That day is coming. When it does, all these years of doing what seems like the same thing over and over again will pay off\u2026 and you\u2019ll realize that those little people are turning into capable adults who are contributing to the family in significant ways.<\/p>\n

Ten years from now, you\u2019re going to look back with a deeply fulfilling and happy feeling knowing that all that hard work, sleepless nights, and exhaustion was worth it.<\/p>\n

So, as much as you might want to some days, don\u2019t give up! The best is yet to come!<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2015 by Crystal Paine. Used with permission.<\/em><\/p>\n

On <\/em>FamilyLife Today\u00ae, Crystal Paine talks about the day she realized that she didn’t have to do it all<\/a> and how one little word\u2014no\u2014revolutionized her life.<\/em><\/p>\n

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