{"id":9008,"date":"2012-06-06T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-06-06T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=9008"},"modified":"2012-06-06T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-06-06T00:00:00","slug":"love-and-leadership-for-the-all-pro-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/parenting\/essentials\/fathers\/love-and-leadership-for-the-all-pro-dad\/","title":{"rendered":"Love and Leadership for the All Pro Dad"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

\u201cGentlemen, this is a football.\u201d\u00a0 With those five famous words, legendary NFL football coach Vince Lombardi communicated his point to his players each year at the beginning of the Green Bay Packers training camp.\u00a0 With pigskin held high in the air, he was telling his team that they must always start with the fundamentals.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can remember my first team meeting ever in the NFL,\u201d Super-Bowl-winning player and coach Tony Dungy shared with me as he reminisced about his days playing for the Pittsburgh Steelers.\u00a0 \u201cI was a rookie.\u00a0 Chuck Noll was the coach and the Steelers had won two Super Bowls already.\u00a0 And I thought I was going to hear some fantastic stuff describing how you get to be Super Bowl champions; how you get to be a great player.<\/p>\n

\u201cCoach Noll\u2014I\u2019ll never forget it\u2014said, \u2018Champions are champions not because they do anything extraordinary but because they do the ordinary things better than anyone else.\u2019\u00a0 What he was saying was, you\u2019ve got this misconception that you\u2019ve gotta do these spectacular highlight-reel type things, you\u2019ve gotta have special gifts and special talents to be a Super Bowl winner or an All-Pro.\u00a0 He said, no, that\u2019s not it.\u00a0 There are fundamentals that it takes to play the game.\u00a0 Executing those fundamentals, not forgetting them, and executing them day in and day out, that\u2019s how you become great.\u00a0 That\u2019s how you win.\u00a0 That\u2019s how you become an All-Pro.\u00a0 And he was right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Just as knowing and executing the fundamentals of football are key to a player becoming an All-Pro, knowing and executing the fundamentals of fatherhood better and more consistently than everyone else are key to a father becoming an All-Pro Dad.\u00a0 Many books, blogs, and seminars do a good job listing things men should say and not say, do and not do as fathers.\u00a0 Men need lists, and lists are good.\u00a0 But we can\u2019t skip the fundamentals.\u00a0 And the two most important fundamentals of fatherhood are love and leadership.<\/p>\n

And before you think I\u2019m getting soft by talking about love, you need to know that love is anything but soft.\u00a0 What drives a fireman to put on a 50-pound tank and climb the stairs of the World Trade Center?\u00a0 What inspires a G.I. to storm Omaha Beach under a cloud of enemy gunfire?\u00a0 As author G.K. Chesterton wrote, \u201cThe true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.\u201d\u00a0 Love for others is what makes a man a man.\u00a0 And a man\u2019s love, his manhood, starts with what is right behind him\u2014his family.<\/p>\n

The first fundamental\u2014love<\/strong><\/h5>\n

\u201cTruly, truly, truly love.\u00a0 That\u2019s the most powerful thing there is.\u201d\u00a0 Those are the words spoken by UCLA\u2019s legendary basketball coach John Wooden, at the age of 99 shortly before his death.\u00a0 Love\u2019s power is apparent.\u00a0 But its essence can be tough to grasp.\u00a0 Bookstores and shelves in homes are filled with books on what love is, how to love, what love does and does not do.\u00a0 Unfortunately, many miss the real mark of love.<\/p>\n

When the cunning Pharisees asked Jesus of Nazareth, \u201cTeacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?\u201d \u00a0Jesus replied: \u201c\u2019Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.\u2019\u00a0 This is the first and greatest commandment.\u00a0 And the second is like it: \u2018Love your neighbor as yourself.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Love is not passive; it is an action.\u00a0 It\u2019s something we must demonstrate day in and day out, even when everything inside of us screams, \u201cNo, that person did me wrong, they don\u2019t deserve it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Let me give you an example:<\/p>\n

After receiving a phone call from the Tampa Fire and Rescue that my house was flooded, I jumped into my car and raced home from the office in the pelting Florida rain.\u00a0 Once I pulled into the driveway, I realized what had happened.\u00a0 We were getting a new roof on our historic house and the workers had taken off the old one but, for whatever reason, they were not able to get a tarp secured to cover the house.\u00a0 So, in came the heavy rain.\u00a0 The attic, second floor, and first floor were all inundated.\u00a0 Beautiful old plaster ceilings fell to the floor, antique furniture was ruined, and clothes were soaked.\u00a0 That night, June 1, 2011, we moved out.<\/p>\n

Sure, it\u2019s tough for my family to be houseless.\u00a0 You get kind of disoriented and feel as though you\u2019re in a fog.\u00a0 But we\u2019re not homeless.\u00a0 We know where our permanent home is.\u00a0 And nobody was injured.\u00a0 So basically it was just stuff that was destroyed.\u00a0 Stuff that can be replaced or wasn\u2019t really needed.\u00a0 Over the course of the next few days after the flood, we had to do many things, including finding a place to stay for the next eight to 12 months while our home was being rebuilt.\u00a0 But as I thought about it, I determined that the most important thing I needed to do was to be a good example to all the people I would have to deal with through the process\u2014the insurance companies, the adjusters, the contractors, the cleaners, and so on.<\/p>\n

This incident, which occurred right in the middle of writing this book, would test my resolve.\u00a0 Would I just write about love?\u00a0 Or, would I really live it out?\u00a0 Well, I can tell you that I\u2019ve failed in some ways, especially in the area of patience, but I\u2019m grateful that I\u2019ve been given opportunities to increase my capacity to love and demonstrate love to others despite my failures.<\/p>\n

After I wrote about what we went through on my blog, to my surprise, our roofer posted a comment on my site.\u00a0 It was a great encouragement to me in light of the struggles we faced.\u00a0 \u201cNever have I seen or experienced such a magnitude of water in a home before, and hope never to see it again,\u201d commented the roofer.<\/p>\n

\u201cOn the same note never have I seen an action such as I witnessed from owners whose home had water dripping from every ceiling in the house.\u00a0 As I entered the home, I braced myself knowing that the typical owner would be down into my face yelling, cursing, and threatening me.\u00a0 Instead I witnessed owners, obviously in shock and disbelief, but also providing me a sense of grace in the midst of chaos.\u00a0 There was a difference in their reaction that made them non-typical owners for the situation.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Love is an action and we must choose to show it to others even when we think they don\u2019t deserve it.<\/p>\n

The second fundamental\u2014leadership<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Leadership must be recognized as extremely important not only in work but also in the home.\u00a0 In fact, Jim Caldwell, former head coach of the Indianapolis Colts, believes the home is the incubator of leadership.\u00a0 He told me, \u201cLeadership is first developed in the home.\u201d<\/p>\n

J. Wayne Huizenga Jr., chairman of Rybovich Marina and part owner of the Miami Dolphins, shared with me his thoughts on love and leadership: \u201cWe don\u2019t talk a lot about leadership in the home and not much has been written about leadership in the home.\u00a0 Nobody really trains us to be leaders at home like they do at work.\u00a0 It\u2019s so much more difficult to lead at home than it is at work because at work, your motive is getting a paycheck and if it doesn\u2019t work out, we can separate.\u00a0 But at home, we\u2019re not getting a paycheck and we can\u2019t separate.\u00a0 They\u2019re your family, regardless.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wayne is on target.\u00a0 Leading at home can be one of the toughest places to lead.\u00a0 You can\u2019t fire your child.\u00a0 There is no paid time off.\u00a0 There are no raises or bonuses.\u00a0 The rewards are rarely immediate or apparent.\u00a0 How many times have you received a standing ovation when you walked in the door, or gotten the father-of-the-year award to put in your trophy case?<\/p>\n

Leading at home is also tough because we have to discipline our kids.\u00a0 But a loving and leading father must discipline his children.\u00a0 I\u2019ve often said to each of my five children, \u201cI love you.\u00a0 And I\u2019m only saying or doing this because it\u2019s what\u2019s best for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Do I like discipline?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Do my children like it?\u00a0 Of course not.\u00a0 But, if I really do it in the right way and for the right reasons, they will at least know that I\u2019m doing it out of love and, as a result, I\u2019ll earn the right to lead them in other areas of life too.<\/p>\n

The love and leadership connection<\/strong><\/h5>\n

What\u2019s love got to do with leadership?\u00a0 Everything.\u00a0 Love is leadership\u2019s unseen essential.\u00a0 We don\u2019t see it and it\u2019s not normally talked about in the context of leadership, but it\u2019s a vital component in the life of every great leader.<\/p>\n

Herb Kelleher, former CEO of Southwest Airlines, said, \u201cI would far rather have a business led by love than by fear.\u201d\u00a0 So, if you include yourself among those who find \u201clove\u201d a hard word to link with \u201cleadership,\u201d then remember this: Herb Kelleher\u2019s Southwest Airlines, the company he declared from the start to be \u201cled by love,\u201d whose headquarters is called \u201cLove Airfield\u201d and whose stock market listing is \u201cLUV,\u201d is the most profitable airline in U.S. commercial aviation history.<\/p>\n

Love is one of the most effective and efficient leadership strategies that ever existed.\u00a0 And infusing love into an organization, as well as the home, delivers a better return on investment than any other single investment you can make.\u00a0 Great organizations and great families are fueled by loving leaders.<\/p>\n

\n

Excerpted from <\/i> All Pro Dad: Seven Essentials to be a Hero to Your Kids by Mark Merrill. Thomas Nelson \u00a92012. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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