{"id":89975,"date":"2019-09-06T09:15:09","date_gmt":"2019-09-06T14:15:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=89975"},"modified":"2019-09-06T09:15:09","modified_gmt":"2019-09-06T14:15:09","slug":"how-to-disagree-without-being-disagreeable-in-todays-culture","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/life-issues\/challenges\/cultural-issues\/how-to-disagree-without-being-disagreeable-in-todays-culture\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable in Today’s Culture"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Today\u2019s culture reeks of hatred, wouldn\u2019t you say? Not just in the political sphere\u2014though that\u2019s definitely a hot spot. Hate is also just in the air<\/em>, in the cultural water, even in our personal relationships anytime we disagree.<\/p>\n

It seems odd that disagreement usually sparks this hatred. But when did disagreeing equate hating? We, as a whole, have forgotten how to respectfully disagree.<\/p>\n

But for Christians in a world like ours, disagreement is inevitable. Even in a world not like ours, centuries ago. I can\u2019t think of anyone who people disagreed with more than Jesus. He had (and still has) haters, doubters, and mockers every day. People disagreed with Him incessantly. Especially the religious people! Yet, His haters could never persuade Him from the truth or make Him ineffective in His truth telling.<\/p>\n

So how do we follow Jesus\u2019 example and disagree in a way that\u2019s not disagreeable?<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t act surprised when we disagree<\/h2>\n

Peter said, \u201cDo not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you\u201d (1 Peter 4:12). I scratched my head at Peter\u2019s words\u2013until I entered the public square with an opinion.<\/p>\n

Now, let\u2019s all agree Peter’s context is historically dealing with \u201ctrials\u201d more intense than mere disagreement. But, friends, let\u2019s not be deer in headlights when sharp words follow that disagreement. It\u2019s not strange if, after standing up for truth, people call us \u201cintolerant bigots.\u201d<\/p>\n

This is the world we are in. It\u2019s just what happens in our day-to-day interactions.<\/p>\n

An easily misleading desire<\/h2>\n

Take a minute to ponder society\u2019s chief idol: tolerance. Countless dangerous implications surface …<\/p>\n

… if tolerating<\/em> you is the supreme virtue.<\/p>\n

… if \u201cI believe this<\/em>, therefore this<\/em> is right\u201d is the religious anthem of the day.<\/p>\n

… if \u201cthis feels<\/em> right, therefore it is<\/em> right\u201d is the criteria for truth.<\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t it strange to be ridiculed for disagreeing with the progressive agenda? Isn’t it embarrassing to be accused as intolerant when tolerance is today’s societal goal?<\/p>\n

But the popular ridicule that comes from standing on a timeless, biblical foundation doesn\u2019t mean the better-received, trendier acceptance is right. <\/em>Or even logical.<\/p>\n

Detect the inaccuracy<\/h2>\n

Tolerance involves disagreement by its very nature. You don’t have to grin and bear it\u2014tolerate\u2014<\/em>through something you like. You can\u2019t tolerate someone if you don\u2019t first disagree with them. The very definition of tolerating<\/em> someone means: sure, you can get along with them, but you don’t necessarily agree.<\/p>\n

You\u2019d think people who worship tolerance would enjoy disagreement. But it\u2019s not that way. Why? Because the tolerance agenda is inconsistent.<\/p>\n

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Spot the inconsistency<\/h2>\n

We agree tolerance must always involve disagreement. But that’s inconsistent in today’s world. Because today, disagreement doesn\u2019t involve tolerance. Somehow it involves perceived hate.<\/p>\n

In a land of true tolerance, everyone should disagree well with each other: we are all tolerating<\/em> each other\u2019s differences.<\/p>\n

But when any of the culturally hot groups in our community demand tolerance, it\u2019s typically one-sided. If I disagree with a progressive view of the definition of marriage, I\u2019m<\/em> the bigot<\/a>. If I stand for the unborn woman’s voice,\u00a0 I\u2019m<\/em> intolerant. If I hold to traditional, scientific assigned gender at birth, somehow I’m<\/em> disagreeable. And, crucially, somehow they–whoever they are–are not<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Even though we both disagree, only I\u2019m named the intolerant one. That\u2019s inconsistent\u2013and therefore illogical.<\/p>\n

How’d we get here?<\/h2>\n

As we ask ourselves, \u201cHow has society come to this point of not being able to disagree respectfully?\u201d we can’t deny the role of our phones. Our constant connection through our handheld world has slowly but surely trained us to believe that, yes, we are the center of the universe.<\/p>\n

The social media algorithms and RSS feeds are designed so all the news and content bombs you receive on your phone are from sources you already agree with<\/em>. Your opinions are only being confirmed.<\/p>\n

Our \u201cdisagreement muscles\u201d therefore have waned. They are wobbly, unable to withstand the weight of another person\u2019s argument. So we resort to emotional responses and defensiveness, instead of rational responses and understanding.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t assume we\u2019re progressing<\/h2>\n

The progressive agenda assumes progress:<\/p>\n