{"id":8554,"date":"2015-08-24T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-08-24T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=8554"},"modified":"2015-08-24T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-08-24T00:00:00","slug":"she-never-gave-up-on-her-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/troubled-marriage\/infidelity\/she-never-gave-up-on-her-husband\/","title":{"rendered":"She Never Gave Up on Her Husband"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

It\u2019s been said that great works aren\u2019t performed by strength, but rather by perseverance.<\/p>\n

Anna Flippin married Tom in 1990. It was her second marriage and his first. A San Francisco police officer, Tom graduated at the top of the Police Academy. He was very intelligent. Very well read. \u201cIn fact he was never without a book\u2014ever,\u201d Anna says. \u201cHe was even the editor of the San Francisco Police Officers Association newspaper. He had his own column and he was also a cartoonist.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anna describes Tom as a man with a magnetic personality, handsome and polite. \u201cHe treated me like I was a queen,\u201d she says. \u201cWhen I approached the table he always helped me sit down; he opened the car door. He was extremely attentive that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Flippins had been married for seven years when Anna\u2019s perception of Tom dramatically changed. The blinders were ripped from her eyes when she came face-to face with reality: Her husband was no Prince Charming.<\/p>\n

Over the next days \u2026 and months \u2026 and years, Anna persisted in praying that God would not only revive her marriage, but also soften Tom\u2019s cynical heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just always believed him\u201d <\/strong><\/h5>\n

Tom was outside that summer evening in 1997 when his pager went off inside the house. Thinking that someone at his office was trying to reach him, Anna answered the page. When she dialed the number a woman answered. Anna asked, \u201cDid you call Tom Flippin?\u201d<\/p>\n

The woman denied calling, so Anna redialed the number. The same woman answered.<\/p>\n

When Anna heard her British accent, she recalled a conversation from months earlier. A man had phoned her, without identifying himself, saying that Tom had been having an affair with a British woman\u2014for a long time. Anna asked her husband about the man\u2019s call, and he denied the accusation. Anna believed him.<\/p>\n

Now, Anna wondered if the man\u2019s allegation had been true. But when Tom came back into the house, he again denied knowing any such woman. He said, \u201cI\u2019ve never seen this number before.\u201d<\/p>\n

The next day, after Tom went to work, Anna went through his phone records and charge statements. She not only found numerous references to the British woman\u2019s phone number, but also discovered that her husband had paid for many things that she had never seen.<\/p>\n

When Tom came home that night, she presented him with the highlighted evidence. Only then did he admit his unfaithfulness.\u00a0\u201cHe had been trying to break it off but it was too difficult,\u201d Anna says. \u201cIt was a very hard, hard time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wondering how she could have been so na\u00efve, she began to look at her years with Tom. \u201cIf he\u2019d say, \u2018I\u2019m going to be late because I\u2019m on a stakeout,\u2019 \u2018I have to work overtime,\u2019 or \u2018I\u2019m going undercover and so you can\u2019t get hold of me,\u2019 then I just always believed him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Although Anna still wanted her marriage to work, Tom was not willing to get counseling. He insisted that the affair was over, that she just had to believe him. Anna wasn\u2019t so sure, \u201cI had spent time believing him,\u201d Anna says. \u201cAnd I said, \u2018No.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to see you in heaven\u201d<\/strong><\/h5>\n

The Flippins separated later that month, and Anna turned to Mariner\u2019s Community Church in Half Moon Bay, Calif. Neither she nor Tom had been a churchgoer when they married, but a neighbor kept telling Anna that she needed to go to church. \u201cI\u2019m so grateful because about five years after I started going is when all of this happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anna was fearful that her husband would die without personally knowing Christ. Although they were separated, she continued to pray for his salvation and asked him to attend church with her.\u00a0Tom didn\u2019t care about spiritual things, but he went with her at times\u2014just to make her happy. When she gave him books about Christ, he\u2019d say, \u201cI can see how much it means to you and I see how happy you are and that\u2019s good for you, but not for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to see you in heaven,\u201d Anna would say. \u201cI want us to always be together forever.\u201d\u00a0Tom was not interested.<\/p>\n

Paul Richardson, pastor of Mariner\u2019s Community Church, says, \u201cAnna had a deep concern: Will he die and go to hell? He was a tough one who didn\u2019t believe and didn\u2019t really care about believing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Richardson describes Anna as remaining faithful to her unfaithful husband. \u201cShe hung in and believed that he could change.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to do the right thing\u201d<\/strong><\/h5>\n

For two and a half years the Flippins went to both marriage counseling and individual counseling. An unlikely source drew them back together: the movie Saving Private Ryan<\/em>. After Tom watched it, he began to examine his life. He phoned his wife and asked if he could come home. \u201cI want to do the right thing,\u201d he said. This time, Anna believed him.<\/p>\n

As a long-time listener of FamilyLife Today<\/em> <\/em>(FamilyLife\u2019s nationally syndicated radio broadcast), Anna knew about the\u00a0Weekend to Remember\u00ae<\/a> marriage getaway. So she told Tom that he could come home if they would continue their counseling, attend church together, and go to a Weekend to Remember. He agreed.<\/p>\n

They attended the conference in Lake Tahoe, and Anna describes it as wonderful. She had prayed that her husband\u2019s heart would be transformed at the conference. \u201cI guess my hope was that \u2026 we could start working on a foundation from then,\u201d she says. \u201cNow that we were back together I wanted God in our marriage. I had hoped it would make an impact on his life.\u201d<\/p>\n

At the end of the weekend Tom told her that he was glad they went. He said that he enjoyed the weekend, \u201cexcept for the God stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n

The conference brought the Flippins closer together and caused them to think about the issues in their marriage. Tom even listened to the gospel presentation at the conference, but didn\u2019t think it was for him.<\/p>\n

Shortly after attending the Weekend to Remember, Tom decided to take early retirement, and the Flippins moved to their vacation home in the mountains of Quincy, Calif. True to his word, Tom visited churches with his wife, wanting to find one where they would both feel comfortable.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe hit it right off\u201d<\/strong><\/h5>\n

After visiting several churches, they walked into First Baptist Church in Quincy. \u201cIt was a tiny little church,\u201d Anna says. \u201cAnd this man greets us. \u2026 a retired police officer who\u2019s now a preacher. Tom immediately connected with George.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pastor George Tarleton not only had been a police officer, but also had spent 24 years in the military. He was 47 years old before he made the decision to trust Jesus as his Lord and Savior, and almost 50 when he went to seminary. \u201cI always felt that I was too rough around the edges to be a pastor,\u201d Tarleton says. \u201cAnd one of my instructors in seminary says, \u2018No, there\u2019s going to be a church somewhere that wants you just the way you are because you\u2019re going to be able to relate to people the way other people can\u2019t.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Like Tarleton, Tom had been in the military before becoming a police officer. \u201cWe hit it right off,\u201d Tarleton says. \u201cIt was just kind of the right time and the right place and it was only through God\u2019s grace.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had the same kind of background in life and had made a lot of mistakes in our lives. \u2026 And he [Tom] was looking. He was definitely looking to believe in God and to find a purpose. There had to be more in life than what was going on and the stuff he had seen and the stuff he had gone through.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two men became good friends and Tom started attending church regularly.\u00a0Anna continued to pray for her husband\u2019s salvation.\u00a0\u201cShe always hoped and believed that it [Tom\u2019s salvation] would happen sometime,\u201d Tarleton says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t buy it\u201d <\/strong><\/h5>\n

After Tom had been retired for about four years, he developed a cold that he just couldn\u2019t shake. Anna begged him to go to the doctor and feared that he might have developed pneumonia. But instead of pneumonia, Tom had lung cancer. \u201cIt was all around his heart,\u201d Anna says. \u201cHe had never smoked in his life.\u201d\u00a0Although he went through chemotherapy and radiation, the doctor\u2019s prognosis was not good.<\/p>\n

Early in the summer of 2007, Pastor Richardson drove to Quincy to visit the Flippins. Once skeptical of the claims of Christ himself, he wanted to share his personal testimony with Tom. \u201cI had a time when I questioned and doubted,\u201d Richardson says. \u201cAnd so I said, \u2018Here\u2019s my path. Here\u2019s my story.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t buy it,\u201d Tom said. \u201cLife\u2019s an energy force and once I die my energy is going to go into the universe. If there is a God he\u2019s going to judge me on being a good person.\u201d<\/p>\n

Still, Anna just would not give up. She continued to pray.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t find the stairs\u201d<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Although Tom had lived much longer than the doctors expected, it appeared that the end was very near. The cancer was now in his brain and he began hallucinating. Several times he frantically called to Anna, \u201cHoney, Honey, I can\u2019t find the stairs. I can\u2019t find the stairs.\u201d\u00a0Then he would add, \u201cI can\u2019t find the door. I can\u2019t find the stairs to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anna called Pastor Tarleton and told him how Tom was fretfully searching for what seemed to be the door to heaven. She handed Tom the phone.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe wanted to know how to get to heaven. He said he was looking for that stairway to heaven,\u201d Tarleton says. \u201cAnd I answered, \u2018You already know.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Tom asked, \u201cWhat do I have to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou just have to accept Jesus as the Boss of your life. Turn your life over to Him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do. I do,\u201d Tom replied.<\/p>\n

When Tom handed the phone back to Anna, Pastor Tarleton told her that Tom had asked Jesus to be the Lord and Savior of his life. Anna wasn\u2019t so sure that it was genuine. \u201cIf you only know how crazy he\u2019s been talking,\u201d she told Tarleton. \u201cI don\u2019t really know.\u201d<\/p>\n

That evening, Pastor Richardson visited with Anna and Christina (Tom and Anna\u2019s daughter). They told him about the phone call. He also was skeptical about whether Tom\u2019s conversion was real.<\/p>\n

Richardson went to Tom\u2019s bedside and whispered, \u201cHey, Tom. It\u2019s Paul. How ya doing, brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tom\u2019s eyes opened and he got a big smile on his face. \u201cAnd there was a look like I\u2019ve never seen him look before\u2014a complete sense of peace and joy with a smile like I\u2019d not ever seen,\u201d Richardson says. \u201cAnd he grabbed my hand tight, \u2018Pastor Paul, I\u2019m in. I\u2019m in.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Tom slipped off into a coma again.\u00a0Anna, Christina, and Richardson just looked at one another and agreed that God had done something in Tom\u2019s life.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod cared more about Tom\u2019s salvation than anybody else did\u201d<\/strong><\/h5>\n

\u201cI believe that God wanted Tom into heaven even more than we did,\u201d Richardson says. \u201cAnd God\u2019s going to use every means and every way to do that for His glory. God cared more about Tom\u2019s salvation than even Anna, or I, or anybody else did. And He used circumstances, and Pastor George, and the coma, … and all of that stuff so that at the right time he would accept Christ. \u2026 What a great God that would set up these situations.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tom’s sense of desperation and confusion was replaced with an attitude of peace. A few days after Richardson’s visit, Tom gasped for every breath as tears rolled down Anna’s cheeks. “I love you, Tom,” she\u00a0said.<\/p>\n

“I love you, too,” he whispered. “Don’t worry about me.”\u00a0That same day, July 9, 2007, Tom Flippin\u00a0entered eternity.<\/p>\n

Anna had persisted to the end and saw a great work. As she laid her head on her pillow that night, she felt comfort recalling her husband\u2019s words, \u201cI\u2019m in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes \u2026 all of a sudden heaven is peeled back for a second and you see the handiwork of God,\u201d Richardson says. \u201cYou see God setting things up like you never could have imagined. His ways are not our ways. You get just a peek or just the shadow of His ways and you think, \u2018Oh, my gosh, how marvelous are His ways!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Used with permission. Copyright \u00a9 2008 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tom Flippin resisted God nearly all his life. But in the end, God answered his wife\u2019s prayers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2903],"tags":[],"equip-category":[],"cwp_profile":[3299],"class_list":["post-8554","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-infidelity","cwp_profile-mary-may-larmoyeux"],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Dave Meritt","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/dave-merittcru-org\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Tom Flippin resisted God nearly all his life. But in the end, God answered his wife\u2019s prayers.","meta_box":{"_cloudsearch_visibility":"","profile_obj_manual_select":false,"profile_obj":false,"separator":false,"enable_link":false,"login_restricted":"","content_type":"","disclaimer_banner":"","currency":false,"pricing_subtext":false,"element_type":false,"date_field":false,"date_format":false,"theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":"","series":false,"ignore_sticky":false,"conditional_blocks_category":false,"cta_selection":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8554","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8554"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8554\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8554"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8554"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8554"},{"taxonomy":"equip-category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/equip-category?post=8554"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=8554"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}