{"id":8530,"date":"2015-07-24T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-07-24T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=8530"},"modified":"2015-07-24T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-07-24T00:00:00","slug":"are-you-pregnant-with-my-husbands-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/troubled-marriage\/infidelity\/are-you-pregnant-with-my-husbands-child\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Are You Pregnant With My Husband\u2019s Child?\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

Lori Rigdon answered the phone and heard a stranger\u2019s voice: \u201cDo you know that your husband is having an affair?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Lori had known \u2026 for several weeks. That\u2019s why her husband, Terry, had moved out of the house. That\u2019s why Lori had met with a divorce attorney.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Lori replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you realize the woman he\u2019s involved with is four months\u2019 pregnant?\u201d<\/p>\n

Lori felt like she must be dreaming. She couldn\u2019t believe this was happening. \u201cI almost felt like I was on the outside looking in,\u201d she recalls. The idea of another woman having her husband\u2019s child was more than she could accept.<\/p>\n

Shaken, Lori called Terry at work and said that they needed to talk that evening.<\/p>\n

Was the stranger\u2019s claim true? She had to find out.<\/p>\n

Too angry to drive herself to the home of her husband\u2019s girlfriend, she asked a friend to be her chauffeur. As their car rolled over the gravel driveway toward a small mobile home, Lori caught a glimpse of the woman, Vicki, through an open window. She was with her diaper-clad toddler.<\/p>\n

No one answered Lori\u2019s knock on the front door, so she yelled, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to tell me: Are you pregnant with my husband\u2019s child?\u201d<\/p>\n

Looking through the window, Lori noticed \u201cthe little baby bump.\u201d She was overcome with emotion and yelled curse words that she is not proud of today. And then she spewed out question after question\u2014How could you? \u2026 Don\u2019t you know he already has children with me? \u2026 What do you want from him?<\/em><\/p>\n

Vicki begged Lori not to say such things in front of her child.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou weren’t concerned about my<\/em> children when you slept with their dad!\u201d Lori replied.<\/p>\n

Time for the truth<\/h2>\n

Terry was waiting for his wife when she returned home. He was sitting in the recliner, so Lori sat across from him on the couch.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s time for you to tell the truth,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Terry confessed everything. The affair began when things weren\u2019t going well at home \u2026 when he was longing for attention.<\/p>\n

What first began as a friendship at work gradually changed into something much more. \u201cI guess she made me feel like I was somebody,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Terry told Lori about the day Vicki told him she was pregnant and talked to him about the possibilities. Should she get an abortion? If she had the baby, would he support the child?<\/p>\n

Of course he would support his child, he told her. But if Lori found out about the baby, he thought his marriage would surely end. He loved Lori and their two boys, and he didn\u2019t want to be like his father and desert his family. So before Lori even knew about the affair, he did all that he could to make life miserable for her\u2014so she would leave him.<\/p>\n

As Terry admitted all this to Lori, his words seemed all jumbled in her mind. \u201cI could have handled the affair,\u201d she says, \u201cbut something about her being pregnant with the child shifted some things.\u201d<\/p>\n

She felt betrayed, rejected, and lost. But she didn\u2019t feel hopeless.<\/p>\n

A new follower of Jesus Christ, she sensed God asking her to do what felt impossible: forgive Terry and stay with him.<\/p>\n

Lori didn\u2019t understand all that God was asking of her. But she did understand His command to forgive.<\/p>\n

So she got up from the sofa, walked to the recliner, and knelt in front of her husband.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to forgive you,\u201d she said.  \u201cI want to go through the process of raising the baby with you, whatever that means.\u201d<\/p>\n

Terry was stunned. He had lived with Lori for eight years and her grace-filled response was out of character.<\/p>\n

But Lori knew that her words and actions were true. \u201cI believed in my heart God was telling me this,\u201d she says. \u201cThere was a certainty there for the first time in my life. \u2026 It was pure, blind faith.\u201d<\/p>\n

A place of refuge<\/h2>\n

Still, the next few months were difficult. Day after day Lori said prayers of desperation: How, God, can I love Vicki\u2019s child as my own? How can Terry and I work everything out? <\/em><\/p>\n

For Lori, her new faith was the key.  She had begun loving Terry when she was 17 years old and he was 19. The two teenagers were both going through hard times when they were drawn to one another. \u201cI think for both of us we became a place of refuge,\u201d Lori says. Now she was looking to God for the answers to her problems \u2026 He was her place of refuge.<\/p>\n

She began to pray that she would not grow into a bitter woman, forever resentful of her husband\u2019s affair. She didn\u2019t want to live for the rest of her life in fear of his future unfaithfulness. She told God that she did not want to be angry, or jealous.<\/p>\n

She asked God to heal her marriage \u2026 to help her trust Terry\u2019s word.<\/p>\n

Lori told Terry that she wanted to know about any contact he had with Vicki, no matter how small. He quickly agreed. And Terry made it clear to Vicki that their relationship was over.<\/p>\n

And so began what Lori describes as a total transformation in Terry and in herself. He became more attentive to Lori\u2019s needs and to their children. \u201cI saw this grown-up man come back into our home; he wanted to be there now.\u201d<\/p>\n

A chance encounter<\/h2>\n

When Terry told Lori that Vicki needed some maternity clothes, Lori felt that she should buy them herself. She was in Walmart with an armload of maternity shirts and pants when she saw Vicki with her sister.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were face-to-face,\u201d she says, \u201cand Vicki\u2019s stomach was bulging.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lori felt like she had to get out of the store. So she purchased the clothes, gave them to Vicki\u2019s sister, and returned to her car.<\/p>\n

God, this is too much,<\/em> she prayed through tears, I don\u2019t know why You are asking this of me.<\/em><\/p>\n

But something happened in Lori\u2019s heart that day. She began to think about Vicki and what she was going through. She\u2019s already a single mom and now she\u2019s pregnant again, <\/em>she thought. She\u2019s by herself.<\/em><\/p>\n

God started replacing the anger and bitterness in Lori\u2019s heart with compassion. And a couple of weeks later Lori invited Vicki to come to her home.<\/p>\n

She asked Vicki what she expected from Terry and her. And then she asked for Vicki\u2019s forgiveness. Would she forgive Lori for the words she said when she first learned that Vicki would have her husband\u2019s baby?<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Vicki knew that I was trying to create peace,\u201d Lori says.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a boy<\/h2>\n

The next time Lori saw Vicki was when Kirk was born in August of 1994. As she gazed through the nursery window of the hospital, she couldn\u2019t help but stare at the beautiful baby boy. She kept looking at him, asking herself, Does he look like my kids? Like Terry? Can this really be?<\/em><\/p>\n

And then she went to see the mother of her husband\u2019s child.<\/p>\n

Vicki\u2019s and Lori\u2019s eyes met. It was a silent, awkward moment. The air was thick between the two women.<\/p>\n

Lori said something like \u201cYou have a beautiful baby,\u201d and Vicki thanked her for the visit.<\/p>\n

Once again Lori found herself asking God how she was supposed to love another woman\u2019s child. And once again, she had no step-by-step answer. All she knew was that God was somehow leading her through a difficult process to healing and restoration.<\/p>\n

Lori says that Kirk was not born of her flesh; he was born in her heart. When she looked at Kirk she did not see her husband\u2019s sin. Instead, she thanked Christ for forgiving her sins.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod had just brought that new [spiritual] life inside of me, and that was the picture I saw when I looked at him. It wasn\u2019t a matter of seeing the ugly part of it. It was seeing the beauty of his life and what he represented to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

God had forgiven her for her sins. How could she not forgive her husband and Vicki for theirs?<\/p>\n

Lori bonded quickly with the baby. \u201cI just knew that he was my third son,\u201d she says, \u201cand I loved him from the beginning.\u201d<\/p>\n

Normal life<\/h2>\n

Kirk was about 6 weeks old when he made his first visit to the Rigdons\u2019 home. It was an exciting time for the family as the boys met their new brother. \u201cWe made a big deal out of it,\u201d Lori says. \u201cI took pictures and acted like it was a normal process of bringing a baby home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kirk\u2019s next long visit was around Christmas, and then he came every other weekend. Lori often picked Kirk up from Vicki\u2019s house, and the two women began to form a better relationship. By the time Kirk was about 8 months old, his visits seemed to be a part of normal, everyday life.<\/p>\n

\u201cOur contact with Vicki was on such a regular basis,\u201d Lori says. \u201cThere was no awkwardness anymore. All of that seemed to fade into the background.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vicki became a Christian when she was pregnant with Kirk, and several years later she married a godly man. Together, Vicki and Shane and Terry and Lori have raised Kirk. They\u2019ve shared family birthday celebrations and ballgames.<\/p>\n

They\u2019ve been in the same church together \u2026 in the same Sunday school. \u201cI was at the hospital when Vicki\u2019s daughter was born,\u201d Lori says, describing the two families\u2019 relationship as \u201ca blended unit that has worked.\u201d<\/p>\n

Answered prayers<\/h2>\n

Twenty years have come and gone, and Lori has stayed true to her promise. She told Terry that she would love Kirk as her own. \u201cAnd she\u2019s done that,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

Both Vicki and Lori have raised their children to love God and to know that nothing is impossible for Him\u2014not even healing dead marriages and broken hearts. Not even bringing two moms together to love one son.<\/p>\n

Lori has told Kirk, \u201cYou\u2019re the good thing that God brought out of a bad situation. \u2026 God has a great purpose for your life and for your future.\u201d<\/p>\n

No one is more amazed by how God has answered her prayers than Lori. How He somehow put the two families together. \u201cHe\u2019s the one who can rebuild and restore,\u201d Lori says. \u201cHe is a God of mercy and forgiveness.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lori never likes to hear someone say that something is impossible. \u201cIn our lives and in our story,\u201d she says, \u201cGod took something that was impossible and made it possible.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2014 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A story of impossible forgiveness and amazing grace.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":8531,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"A story of impossible forgiveness and amazing grace.","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2903],"tags":[],"equip-category":[],"cwp_profile":[3299],"class_list":["post-8530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-infidelity","cwp_profile-mary-may-larmoyeux"],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2018\/04\/are-you-pregnant-with-my-husbands-child_1024x326.jpg","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2018\/04\/are-you-pregnant-with-my-husbands-child_1024x326.jpg",1024,321,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"david@sierra.host","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/davidsierra-host\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"A story of impossible forgiveness and amazing grace.","meta_box":{"_cloudsearch_visibility":"","profile_obj_manual_select":false,"profile_obj":false,"separator":false,"enable_link":false,"login_restricted":"","content_type":"","disclaimer_banner":"","currency":false,"pricing_subtext":false,"element_type":false,"date_field":false,"date_format":false,"theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":"","series":false,"ignore_sticky":false,"conditional_blocks_category":false,"cta_selection":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/33"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8530"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8530\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8530"},{"taxonomy":"equip-category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/equip-category?post=8530"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=8530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}