{"id":84404,"date":"2019-08-05T18:01:25","date_gmt":"2019-08-05T23:01:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=84404"},"modified":"2019-08-05T18:01:25","modified_gmt":"2019-08-05T23:01:25","slug":"single-women-are-happiest-and-healthiest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/life-issues\/challenges\/cultural-issues\/single-women-are-happiest-and-healthiest\/","title":{"rendered":"Single Women Are Happiest and Healthiest?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

\u201cWomen who have never married or had children are among the happiest and healthiest,\u201d a recent article<\/a> on The Hill<\/em>\u00a0boldly stated. As a woman who hasn\u2019t married and doesn\u2019t have children, I wondered, Does single equal happy?<\/em><\/p>\n

The article highlights the direction some have shifted in their view of singleness: \u201cYou see a single woman of 40, who has never had children,\u201d the historical response has been, \u201c\u2018Bless, that\u2019s a shame, isn\u2019t it? Maybe one day you\u2019ll meet the right guy and that\u2019ll change.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Yet, the article emphasizes an alternative response: \u201cNo, maybe she\u2019ll meet the wrong guy and that\u2019ll change \u2026 Maybe she\u2019ll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n

It goes on to quote Oprah Winfrey who believes she will \u201cnever have regrets about not marrying her longtime beau.\u201d Since she has a longtime beau, I hardly think Oprah wonders if single equals happy.<\/p>\n

Does single equal happy?<\/h2>\n

After mulling it over a bit, I\u2019ve discovered that this idea of singleness as a path to happiness accomplishes a number of things.<\/p>\n

On the positive side, people are finally recognizing and supporting the idea<\/a> that marriage might not be the be all, end all this side of heaven. This is a newer and not always popular idea some singles adopted.<\/p>\n

Realistically, a spouse will never make any of us consistently happy. Even in healthy, thriving marriages. Humans fail each other. We\u2019re just human.<\/p>\n

According to the article, some women\u2019s motivation to remain single and childless is rooted in their fear of unhappiness. If what they have going as a single is working for them, why risk marring it with additional demanding relationships? They feel they’ve answered the question: Does single equal happy? I\u2019ve heard this narrative from a few friends who truly enjoy their single life and question if change is worth their while.<\/p>\n

The honesty in this article, though, reveals a deeper reality all of us face: When it comes down to it, we are mostly concerned with our own happiness. <\/em>Our idea of what will make us happy often serves as the real master of our lives.<\/p>\n

But should it?<\/p>\n

Happiness is king<\/h2>\n

As a single woman, I often catch myself thinking I will be happier once I\u2019m married. In some aspects, I\u2019m not wrong. For the most part, companionship, hands down, trumps loneliness.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, I often overlook many perks to being single. I can\u2019t complain about the freedom to control my schedule and purchase whatever groceries I want. Regardless, I have learned that perhaps my focus on happiness needs to be redirected.<\/p>\n

The \u201cpursuit of happiness\u201d is in our blood. In Western cultures, many of us have the freedom to choose the direction of our lives. We have the option to choose what job to pursue, what school to attend, and what relationship status we prefer. Happiness is king.<\/p>\n

Receive more encouraging content like this delivered to your inbox!<\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>\n

The problem with happiness<\/h2>\n

Maybe you\u2019ve noticed \u201chappiness\u201d is not a theme in Scripture. God is not opposed to His creatures being happy\u2014in fact, God cares deeply for His children (1 Peter 5:7). But happiness ultimately isn\u2019t the point.<\/p>\n

The point is to please God, not ourselves.<\/p>\n

Jesus first introduced this counter-cultural view. After reminding His followers their needs would be taken care of, Jesus invited them to \u201cseek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you\u201d (Matthew 6:30-33).<\/p>\n

Notice the order of His statement: first<\/em>, seek God\u2019s kingdom and His righteousness. Then <\/em>all these things will be added to you. We can trust the Lord will supply our every need, yet we must first desire to make His name great in our lives. Because of this, any advice to make choices, relational or otherwise, based solely on happiness isn\u2019t a reliable compass for our lives.<\/p>\n

We must intentionally remember this. For instance, I am leading an internship program. On the back of our T-shirts, we\u2019ve written, \u201cMy life is not my own.\u201d Seeing our interns sport these words has kept them in the forefront of my mind. If I don\u2019t keep the truth in my line of vision, whether through music, books, or visuals, it\u2019s easy to sink back into happiness-is-king mode. It\u2019s crucial to maintain my focus on God\u2019s kingdom and not my own.<\/p>\n

When happiness doesn’t work<\/h2>\n

But God is not a \u201cDebbie Downer.\u201d And He doesn\u2019t want His children to be that either. \u00a0In the midst of living for His pleasure and not our own, we can find great joy.<\/p>\n

Happiness<\/em> is equivalent to pleasure, to feeling good, to wanting things to stay exactly as they are. It isn\u2019t, however, something we can concoct at will.<\/p>\n

Joy<\/em>, on the other hand, is less associated with emotional pleasure, though not opposed to it. Joy has deeper roots than happiness, being tethered to unshakable truth. For instance, the knowledge that Jesus has rescued us from our sins gives us joy even in the midst of great suffering. Joy is something that has been secured for us.<\/p>\n

The liberating truth about joy is that it is a choice. Despite the ugliness\u2014or unhappiness\u2014of your situation, you can always find joy because of the hope of the gospel.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s good news. Even when we try to control things like our relationship status, our number of children, or our dream career, our inability to dictate others and our circumstances keeps us from constant pleasure. Joy is always available; happiness is not.<\/p>\n

Paul entreated the Christian church in Thessalonica to \u201crejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you\u201d (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).<\/p>\n

Our interest in happiness is not altogether bad, but we misguide ourselves if we expect anything to continuously fuel our happiness: singleness, marriage, or anything else. Sorrow, pain, and loss are unavoidable because of the fallen world we live in.<\/p>\n

If you find yourself wondering what will make you happy, consider asking the Lord first what would please Him. Comfort yourself with this truth: Even when you can’t find happiness, joy is always available.<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2019 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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