{"id":8247,"date":"2016-03-21T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-03-21T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=8247"},"modified":"2016-03-21T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-03-21T00:00:00","slug":"10-questions-to-ask-your-wife-every-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/staying-married\/husbands\/10-questions-to-ask-your-wife-every-year\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Questions to Ask Your Wife Every Year"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

For many years, Tom Elliff and his wife, Jeannie,<\/a> took time away from their normal routines to get away and be together. They read Scripture together, they prayed, they had a wonderful time talking about their lives.<\/p>\n

One year Tom decided to elevate the discussion and, in the process, open himself up in a way few husbands ever do. He developed a list of questions over a few months, basing them on issues he knew were of concern to Jeannie, and then sprung them on her at breakfast one morning during a retreat in the Rockies.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the list of questions to ask your wife:<\/h2>\n
    \n
  1. What could I do to make you feel more loved?<\/li>\n
  2. What could I do to make you feel more respected?<\/li>\n
  3. What could I do to make you feel more understood?<\/li>\n
  4. What could I do to make you more secure?<\/li>\n
  5. What can I do to make you feel more confident in our future direction?<\/li>\n
  6. What attribute would you like me to develop?<\/li>\n
  7. What attribute would you like me to help you develop?<\/li>\n
  8. What achievement in my life would bring you greatest joy?<\/li>\n
  9. What would indicate to you that I really desire to be more Christ-like?<\/li>\n
  10. What mutual goal would you like to see us accomplish?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Optional:<\/strong> Have I overlooked any question you would like for me to ask?<\/p>\n

    You\u2019re probably thinking, There is absolutely, positively, <\/em>no way I\u2019m ever going to ask my wife questions like that.<\/em><\/p>\n

    That type of vulnerability takes courage.<\/p>\n

    When I interviewed Tom and Jeannie on FamilyLife Today\u00ae<\/em><\/a>, I asked her how those questions made her feel. Jeannie replied that the first thing that crossed her mind was a sense of tremendous honor that her husband wanted to know how she felt about important issues in their lives. \u201cI was almost blown away,\u201d she recalled. \u201cIt was wonderful.\u201d<\/p>\n

    Before her death in 2015, Tom reviewed these same 10 questions with Jeannie many times. When he told me about this experience, I couldn\u2019t help but think it was a perfect illustration of 1 Peter 3:7, which instructs husbands, “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life …”<\/p>\n

    Asking these questions, and actually listening to the answers, helps a husband understand his wife\u2019s heart. It connects them in a deeper way and makes them accountable to each other.<\/p>\n

    This is the type of love, understanding, and leadership we are called to as men.<\/p>\n

    \n

    Excerpt adapted by permission from <\/em>Stepping Up<\/a>, copyright \u00a9 2010 by Dennis Rainey, FamilyLife Publishing.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    An annual exercise to listen to your wife’s words and hear from her heart.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":8248,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"10 questions to ask your wife every year | FamilyLife\u00ae","_seopress_titles_desc":"Asking these questions will help you understand your wife\u2019s heart. 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