{"id":8240,"date":"2012-08-24T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-24T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=8240"},"modified":"2012-08-24T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-08-24T05:00:00","slug":"understanding-your-romantic-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/staying-married\/romance-and-sex\/understanding-your-romantic-style\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding Your Romantic Style"},"content":{"rendered":"
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What\u2019s the most romantic thing your spouse has done for you?<\/p>\n

We asked this question of our readers, and the answers were pretty interesting \u2026 and surprising.<\/p>\n

Some readers shared special memories of spontaneous and unexpected gestures. One woman wrote to tell about one day when she was driving, and when she pulled up to a stoplight she didn\u2019t realize her husband was just behind her. \u201cI heard a knock on my window, rolled it down and he gave me a very long kiss and then ran back to his car. That was three years ago and I still smile at that red light!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Others told of elaborate romantic schemes. There was the story of the husband and wife who taught at the same school. One year on their anniversary, she was surprised when one of his students walked into her classroom, plugged in a CD player, and then left. Another student then entered and placed a crystal vase on her desk. Then a third student appeared and pressed \u201cplay\u201d on the CD player. It was her favorite song: \u201cYou Are So Beautiful\u201d by Ray Charles. Finally, another dozen students came in and placed red roses into the vase on her desk. \u201cBetween the tears in my eyes and my poor students ooohing and aaahhing, the rest of the afternoon was a piece of cake!\u201d she wrote.<\/p>\n

Simple acts of love<\/h2>\n

What surprised me was the number of people who wrote about simple acts or statements of love:<\/p>\n

My husband is far from being a romantic but we text each other on a daily basis just to say \u2018I love you.\u2019 One day he sent me a text that said, \u2018I think I\u2019m in love with you and I\u2019m lucky to have you for my wife.\u2019 That\u2019s romance.<\/em><\/p>\n

I have an amazing husband. He does many romantic things, but one of them is to paint my toenails when I am pregnant.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

My husband and I have been together for almost 22 years. We were separated for three of those years, and during that time we individually turned our lives over to Christ. I used to yearn for the typical romantic gestures\u2014poetry, candy, flowers, an unexpected kiss. Now, I can honestly say that the most romantic thing that my husband does for me is when I am having a bad day, he will put his arms around me and pray for me. It means more to me than I can ever express and is one of the most romantic things he does for me.<\/em><\/p>\n

He brought me home my very own pint of Haagen-Dazs coffee ice cream. Why so romantic? To me it is the small things that count. He doesn’t even like coffee ice cream, so it was all for me!<\/em><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

My husband asked me to install a content filter on his laptop before he deployed to Afghanistan. He didn’t want to be tempted to look at anything that would hurt me or our marriage since we would be apart for so long.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Remember, these readers are recalling the most<\/em> <\/em>romantic things these spouses have done. I guess it shows how romantic a simple gesture can be.<\/p>\n

Understanding our differences<\/h2>\n

Reading through these responses helped me realize how important it is for us to understand what we prefer in romance. What do you like, and even more important, what does your spouse prefer?<\/em><\/p>\n

Author Gary Chapman\u2019s list of \u201clove languages\u201d is helpful.<\/a>  Each of us, he writes, has a love language\u2014a way we like others to express love to us. The five basic love languages are:<\/p>\n