{"id":8197,"date":"2018-01-11T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-01-11T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=8197"},"modified":"2018-01-11T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2018-01-11T00:00:00","slug":"3-ways-to-recapture-the-romance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/staying-married\/romance-and-sex\/3-ways-to-recapture-the-romance\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Ways to Recapture the Romance"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A television talk show host was interviewing one of Hollywood’s biggest male stars, a man known for his romantic image. At one point, the host asked him, “What makes a great lover?”<\/p>\n

“Two things,” the star replied. “First of all, it is a man who can satisfy one woman over a lifetime. And<\/em> it is a man who can be satisfied with one woman for a lifetime.”<\/p>\n

What a great answer! To build a lasting marriage of oneness and intimacy, you and your spouse must be committed to meeting each other’s physical and emotional needs. For a lifetime. And one of those needs is for romance.<\/p>\n

To ensure that we don’t miss the importance of romance, God dedicated an entire book of the Bible, Song of Solomon, to the subject. Reading this poetic book is like eavesdropping on a romantic dialogue between a man and his wife. Solomon describes his love as a hot fire. “Many waters,” he declares, “cannot quench the flame of love” (Song of Solomon 8:7, TLB).<\/p>\n

We need that fire in our marriages. The problem is that within the first year or two after the wedding ceremony, something happens in most marriages. Those romantic flames that burned so brightly during engagement seem to crumble into faint, glowing embers.<\/p>\n

Obstacles to romance<\/h2>\n

What is it about marriage that seems to douse our romantic creativity? At some point in almost every marriage, a couple realizes they just don’t experience the same romantic feelings they once enjoyed. As one person cynically observed, “The period of engagement is like an exciting introduction to a dull book.”<\/p>\n

When Barbara and I dated during the summer of 1972, it was an intense relationship from the start. We spent 52 out of 55 days together, and we missed those three days only because I was sick! Although there was no sexual involvement of any kind, we enjoyed plenty of romance. We did all sorts of things together\u2014picnics, hikes, long drives, late night talks sitting outside her apartment … no two dates were the same.<\/p>\n

During our marriage we’ve enjoyed some great highlights\u2014a fall foliage trip to New England on our tenth anniversary, a getaway at a cozy bed-and-breakfast inn, candlelit dinners at home after the kids were in bed (when they were little) … I could go on and on.<\/p>\n

We’ve faced some big challenges during these years, however, as we’ve discovered what Solomon calls the “little foxes that spoil the vineyards” (Song of Solomon 2:15). These are the thieves that will steal the fruit of love before it has a chance to be enjoyed.<\/p>\n

If you want to taste the delicious fruit of romantic love in your relationship, then you’d better pay close attention to those things that are “nipping your love in the bud.” For Barbara and me, these things have included:<\/p>\n