{"id":81683,"date":"2019-05-17T11:21:25","date_gmt":"2019-05-17T16:21:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=81683"},"modified":"2019-05-17T11:21:25","modified_gmt":"2019-05-17T16:21:25","slug":"should-boys-and-girls-play-on-the-same-team","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/life-issues\/challenges\/cultural-issues\/should-boys-and-girls-play-on-the-same-team\/","title":{"rendered":"Should Boys and Girls Play on the Same Team?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

High school state wrestling championships aren\u2019t usually the stuff of national news. And to be honest, it\u2019s not usually the stuff of news at my dinner table. But back in February, the topic made both. And I’m still ruminating on it.<\/p>\n

Colorado high school senior Brendan Johnston forfeited his opportunity to place in the Class 3A 106-pound weight class\u2014because he chose not to wrestle a girl.<\/p>\n

Johnston explained, \u201cI\u2019m not really comfortable with a couple of things of wrestling a girl. The physical contact, there\u2019s a lot of it in wrestling. And I guess the physical aggression, too. I don\u2019t want to treat a lady like that on the mat. Or off the mat. And not to disrespect the heart or the effort she\u2019s put in. That\u2019s not what I want to do either.\u201d<\/p>\n

He told The Denver Post<\/em><\/a>, \u201cWrestling is something we do, not who we are. And there are more important things to me than my wrestling. And I\u2019m willing to have those priorities.\u201d<\/p>\n

The girl against whom he was to compete, Angel Rios, who hopes to compete in the Olympics someday, finished fourth in the overall competition.<\/p>\n

Around our table<\/h2>\n

At my family\u2019s dinner table\u2014obviously not the judge and jury of the day\u2014respect for Johnston won the verdict. But my husband saw coming what we all did: This was not going to be well-received in the reigning court of public opinion. \u201cIt\u2019ll be perceived as weakness. Either he\u2019s seen as having such strong \u2018urges\u2019 that he couldn\u2019t stand to wrestle a girl, or he\u2019s perceived as a chauvinist.\u201d<\/p>\n

And indeed, USA Today columnist Christine Brennan\u2019s response <\/a>was openly skeptical. She wrote:<\/p>\n

On a flight a year ago, I happened to sit next to the father of two male high school wrestlers who told me over the course of a conversation about high school sports that his sons had both forfeited matches rather than wrestle against a girl.<\/p>\n

I asked why. He mentioned religion and treating girls and women the right way, and then he said this:<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you imagine what it would be like for a boy to lose to a girl?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2026.If athletes like Johnston are worried about competing against a girl in such a manner, what would they think about competing against a boy who is gay\u2014 which they might already have done? Or a transgender athlete?<\/p>\n

The sooner the families of these reluctant boys figure this out, the better they will be, because these are young men who will be competing against and working with women the rest of their lives. They might as well get used to it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Competing opinions: athletics & gender<\/h2>\n

It feels highly unsubstantiated that Brennan would assume Johnston\u2019s underlying motives based on an interaction with a stranger. But let\u2019s set this aside and examine the cultural context into which Johnston\u2019s actions and remarks descend.<\/p>\n

Johnston\u2019s conviction lands on inflamed, post-#metoo times, as well as tricky times for sports and gender. Though distant from Johnston\u2019s particular concerns, feminists and transgender activists continue to clash over the intermixing of gender in the athletic arena. While allowing males and females to compete in wrestling may be a ship past-sailed for the Colorado High School Activities Association, others aren\u2019t ready to surrender just yet.<\/p>\n

Openly gay former tennis player Martina Navratilova has been routed online for her frustration at the entrance of transgender players into women\u2019s sports. She sites the transgender male wrestler who has won, for the second year in a row, the girls wrestling championship in Texas. \u201cYou can\u2019t just proclaim yourself a female and be able to compete against women,\u201d Navratilova tweeted before Christmas.<\/p>\n

In <\/a>The Guardian<\/em><\/a>, she argued that separate sports help create fair play because of the inequities of biological physical strength between males and females\u2014accentuated by training, and only halted by males receiving hormones before puberty, which seems untenable even to Navratilova, an LGBTQ activist.<\/p>\n

Title IX<\/h2>\n

Others argue the reasons for Title IX in the first place was to protect sports for women, rather than placing them in situations like Angel Rios\u2019. Abigail Shrier at <\/a>The City Journal<\/em><\/a> argues,<\/p>\n

When did we, as women, decide that it was okay to stop advocating for girls? When did we decide that\u2014because another vulnerable group had made itself known\u2014it was acceptable to strip girls of the Title IX protections that won them their own facilities, their own teams and scholarships, and the taste of victory that we want them to remember, as a benchmark for their expectations, when they head into the world?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Concerns such as these cause me to wonder why Johnston and Rios, as teenagers, must address circumstances like these in the first place. All the while, a gender-confused world dukes out the complex questions of the sexual revolution. Like the rest of us, they\u2019re deciding whether girls, to be truly good at something and to be acknowledged as equal or worthy of respect, must always compete against and defeat boys.<\/p>\n

What Women May Not Want<\/h2>\n

So perhaps this is the part where I incriminate myself. I personally found myself cheering Johnston on. I\u2019m the mother of a preteen girl and two teenage boys. And I confess to still encouraging the boys to open doors for girls and help them carry heavy things (I\u2019m #oneofthose). I still exhort them to be \u201cgentlemen.\u201d And I presented this wrestling headline at the dinner table with an angle I\u2019ll acknowledge: While each of my sons\u2019 convictions will play out differently, I hope that, yes, they would treat any woman with this level of respect.<\/p>\n

Millennia before us and cultures around the world have acknowledged that touching the bodies of the opposite gender is not a neutral experience. It can be quite a catalytic one. #Metoo has confirmed that groping or pressing one\u2019s body against another is inappropriate without consent\u2014which seems to be the issue.<\/p>\n

Is it not okay if the female athlete grants hers, but Johnston doesn\u2019t grant his? Is this a sign of his narrow-mindedness and ego? Or his honesty about the nature of human contact? Is it respectful to abstain from touching a woman when she doesn\u2019t want to be respected in that way?<\/p>\n

I appreciate this blogger\u2019s comparison of Harvey Weinstein and Billy Graham<\/a>, the latter of whom famously declined to meet with any woman alone, even at her request. Despite much-needed edits of the “Billy Graham rule” (e.g. viewing women as potential temptresses, or limiting women’s networking and thus, careers)\u2014this begs the question. Would volatile male\/female situations be as accessible if all of us had more \u201chedges\u201d in place, protecting women from what they feel they must be willing to do to advance in the world? Personally, I\u2019d rather have been in public with Mr. Graham and his wife than in private with Mr. Weinstein.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/span>

Receive more encouraging content like this delivered to your inbox!<\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Leggo my Ego<\/h2>\n

But I do agree with Brennan in at least some respects. Like the father on her flight, this can\u2019t be an issue of pride, of competing against girls. Even in the Berenstain Bears\u2019 No Girls Allowed<\/em>, this <\/a>Washington Post<\/em><\/a> columnist points out,<\/a> Sister Bear is chided for how winning against boys may make the boys feel.<\/p>\n

Many of us believe in the benefits of male protection, responsibility, and leadership\u2014of men who step up on behalf of women. Do we really want to raise a generation of children who hold back to keep from ruffling ego, no matter their sex?<\/p>\n

As human beings of any gender, we need to get comfortable with our own limitations. Boys and girls alike, we must think of ourselves with sober, accurate judgment. We have to be okay with what we can\u2019t accomplish, with the ways others are better (Romans 12:3).<\/p>\n

Also, regardless of gender, we need to put a cork in the boasting and constant displays of superiority. We need to consider others more significant than ourselves regardless of anyone\u2019s ability to perform. Perhaps Johnston\u2019s actions are offensive in part because women want the chance to prove they\u2019re just as good as men. Maybe they’d even like to defeat a man, rather than believe women are valuable either way.<\/p>\n

No, we don\u2019t want our children to hold back for the sake of someone\u2019s ego. \u201cIf I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10).<\/p>\n

Other reasons<\/h2>\n

But as Johnston demonstrates, there might be plenty of other great reasons to hold back.<\/p>\n

Aren\u2019t there occasions when the (currently passe) internal filter is more beautiful and wise than unbridled ambition? We do not inhabit an age granting high priority to sacrifice, nor will our headlines celebrate those who hold back for the sake of another. Especially when \u201canother\u201d doesn\u2019t want the person to hold back.<\/p>\n

Yes, as a woman, I see Johnston\u2019s actions as acts of tremendous respect. It\u2019s like the old fable of a queen who\u2019s looking for a knight to supervise her palanquin and protect her. Most of the competitors tout their own mightiness; they would be able to carry her a foot\u2014nay! Six inches!\u2014from a cliff.<\/p>\n

But ultimately, the queen selects the knight who resolves to carry her litter nowhere near the cliff in the first place. Johnston saw something of greater value in Rios than an opportunity to defeat her. He saw a chance to protect both of them. And contrary to popular culture, he took it.<\/p>\n

The Denver Post reports the response to Johnston of CHSAA assistant commissioner Ernie Derrera: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to respect his personal decision to do what he did, and standing on his principles. And I think there\u2019s a bigger lesson there than wrestling.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2019 Janel Breitenstein. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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