{"id":8141,"date":"2015-08-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-08-16T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=8141"},"modified":"2015-08-16T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-08-16T00:00:00","slug":"what-happens-when-couples-pray","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/staying-married\/growing-spiritually\/what-happens-when-couples-pray\/","title":{"rendered":"What Happens When Couples Pray"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Before Richard and Mary Jane Long married back in 1951, Mary Jane\u2019s grandfather told them something they never forgot: \u201cYou should always pray together.\u201d Married more than a half-century, they were glad they followed his advice.<\/p>\n

Richard compared his relationship with Mary Jane to a triangle\u2014with God at the peak. \u201cAs we draw closer to God, we draw closer to each other,” he said.<\/p>\n

Prayer strengthens marriages like the Longs\u2019 in multiple ways. In fact, couples who regularly pray together say they feel more connected and are better able to work through difficult issues.<\/p>\n

When Jane Fowler\u2019s husband, Emmitt, leaves for work in the morning, she follows him out to the car and prays a simple prayer\u00a0of blessing over him. \u201cWe don’t know what the day may hold, but it is comforting to know that if at the end of the day one of us doesn’t come home, our last memory would be\u00a0praying\u00a0together,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

We asked other couples about the difference prayer makes in their lives.\u00a0 Here are some of their stories:<\/p>\n

I Didn\u2019t Want to Pray With My Wife<\/strong><\/h5>\n

by Jerry McCartney<\/em><\/p>\n

When my wife, Naoma, first suggested that we pray together each day, I wasn\u2019t for it. At the time, we had been married for about 25 years and I liked the idea of \u201cyou do your prayer and I\u2019ll do my prayer.\u201d\u00a0 Occasionally we prayed before dinner.<\/p>\n

Naoma must have been praying about my decision, because several weeks later I agreed to give her idea a try. And we both knew the only way praying together would work for us would be to get up early in the morning.<\/p>\n

We\u2019d get up at 6 a.m., sit in a couple of chairs in the living room, and begin our prayer time by discussing various Scriptures or topics. After doing this, we took turns praying.<\/p>\n

That worked so well that we\u2019ve now followed this same pattern for about 15 years. It\u2019s made a big difference in our marriage.<\/p>\n

Naoma prays on the even numbered days and I pray on the odd ones. We begin praying for each other and our family. Then we pray for our closest friends and for our stewardship. We pray for our work. We pray for our church and its leaders and our country and its leaders and then we ask that God help us be yielded to His service in that given day.<\/p>\n

Of course we have coffee during that time.<\/p>\n

The great thing is I get to hear my wife\u2019s heart and what she’s concerned about and she gets to hear things that I’m concerned about. Prayer has kept us connected that way.<\/p>\n

Once when our son was home from college for a visit, he happened to get up early one morning and passed through the living room and saw Naoma and me praying together. He still mentions how blessed he feels knowing that his parents pray together.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

It\u2019s Hard to Stay Mad<\/strong><\/h5>\n

by Tom and Robyn Scott\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

In 2004 Robyn and I attended our first Weekend to Remember getaway\u00ae in Fort Wayne, Indiana. We walked away from that weekend with several items to remember, one was the obvious lack of prayer within our marriage.<\/p>\n

I had been a student pastor since 1997 but the habit of praying together as a couple had not been a thought, let alone a practice. We prayed for our meals together and with our girls. We prayed together with other people when they brought concerns to us, but we had rarely, if ever, prayed together for our marriage and family.<\/p>\n

When I heard that weekend, \u201cYou need to be praying daily with your spouse,\u201d it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew that we needed to begin praying together. The Lord placed on both of us a great deal of conviction in this area.<\/p>\n

Since that night in November 2004, we have worked hard to continue praying together. We have not been perfect and there are many times, even still, where I would rather turn over and go right to sleep than to initiate praying with Robyn. But the Lord has been gracious to us.<\/p>\n

This practice of praying together each night (that is when we decided it would work best for us) has and continues to shape our marriage. There have been numerous times when we have had arguments yet, through the practice of praying together, G<\/a>od has settled our misguided hearts to refocus on Christ and His desire for our marriage. It\u2019s hard to stay mad when you pray with and for each other before your Creator.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

A Bond of Understanding<\/strong><\/h5>\n

by Kris Weaver<\/em><\/p>\n

As a young wife, I used to pray that my husband would come to know Christ as his personal Lord and Savior. I really wanted to raise our children in a home where both parents were believers.<\/p>\n

I was overjoyed when God answered that prayer and I knew it was real when my husband came home from his first men\u2019s retreat and said he wanted to start praying together. Wow!<\/p>\n

Looking back over the years there has been a definite connection between our prayer time together and the quality of our relationship. Raising three very busy children, having a driven sales executive for a husband, and being a local elected official myself, our few minutes of prayer has often been our only connection during the day.<\/p>\n

During seasons when we were really busy and neglected prayer, we saw a significant difference in our interactions, our sex life, and our compassion for one another. We were more independent in our thinking and our living. As each of our relationships with the Lord grew, we realized more and more the value of praying together.<\/p>\n

Praying together every day creates a bond of understanding. It is a gift that I give my husband, and he gives me as we lift each other up in prayer, acknowledging the events of the day and asking for God\u2019s blessing over the other.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Spiritual Intimacy and Sexual Intimacy<\/strong><\/h5>\n

by Jennifer Walker<\/em><\/p>\n

My husband, Nathan, and I were challenged to\u00a0pray\u00a0together during FamilyLife\u2019s Weekend to Remember marriage getaway. Now we had both\u00a0prayed\u00a0before, on our own, or as a family at the dinner table. But\u00a0praying\u00a0just the two of us, out loud\u2014that seemed intimidating.<\/p>\n

I remember sitting in the hotel room that night, both of us a little nervous. We even argued teasingly, “You go first” \u2026 “No, I insist you go first.”<\/p>\n

I remember our\u00a0prayer being short and a little awkward.\u00a0But as the days and weeks went on, we became more and more comfortable with\u00a0praying\u00a0together.<\/p>\n

Nathan is a bit on the reserved side. He does a lot of his processing internally, and so it was not very often that I got to hear what was really going on in his heart. Through our prayer\u00a0time together, I started to see a new side of my husband. I felt more connected to him than I ever had before. I was finally hearing his heart on a regular basis.<\/p>\n

A funny thing happens when you connect as a couple through\u00a0prayer. Not only does your spiritual intimacy grow, but your sexual intimacy gets kicked up a notch too! I felt so connected spiritually that it just naturally spilled over into our sexual relationship.<\/p>\n

Now that Nathan and I know about this direct relationship between spiritual and sexual intimacy, it has helped us in times when our sexual relationship runs dry. We very quickly realize, “Oh we are not connecting sexually, because we have not been\u00a0praying\u00a0together lately.” It certainly has been good motivation for us to stay spiritually connected!<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Praying Together Revived Our Marriage<\/strong><\/h5>\n

by David and Joanie Stineman<\/em><\/p>\n

We had been married for 17 years, were parents to three children, and active in a local church. David\u2019s job provided well, and Joanie was a homemaker and volunteer extraordinaire. We were living the Christian life and everything was hunky-dory, right?\u00a0 Wrong!<\/p>\n

Perfectionism, demanding work responsibility, busyness to the nth degree, unreasonable expectations, critical spirit, selfishness, etc., were all symptoms of a marriage in isolation, ready to explode. That all changed when we experienced praying together after attending our first Weekend to Remember marriage getaway nearly 24 years ago.<\/p>\n

Praying together revived our marriage by \u2026<\/p>\n