{"id":7987,"date":"2009-07-27T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-27T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=7987"},"modified":"2009-07-27T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-07-27T00:00:00","slug":"is-there-hope-for-american-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/staying-married\/gods-plan-for-marriage\/is-there-hope-for-american-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Is There Hope for American Marriage?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\" fetchpriority=\"high\"><\/div><p>July 27, 2009<\/p>\n<p>I wasn\u2019t surprised to see the cover story on marriage in America in a recent <a href=\"http:\/\/www.time.com\/time\/nation\/article\/0,8599,1908243,00.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">issue of <em>Time<\/em> magazine<\/a>.\u00a0In previous weeks we had learned of two prominent politicians who admitted they had cheated on their wives, and the marital woes of Jon and Kate Gosselin had become a national conversation.<\/p>\n<p>Writer Caitlin Flanagan discussed these events in her <em>Time<\/em> article,\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.time.com\/time\/nation\/article\/0,8599,1908243,00.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u201cIs There Hope for American Marriage?\u201d<\/a>\u00a0But I was pleased to see that she used them as a springboard to make a spirited defense of marriage, which she wrote can either be \u201ca lasting covenant between a man and a woman can be a vehicle for the nurture and protection of each other, the one reliable shelter in an uncaring world\u201d or \u201ca matchless tool for the infliction of suffering on the people you supposedly love above all others, most of all on your children.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The article was full of truths that you normally don\u2019t find in a national magazine like <em>Time<\/em>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201c \u2026 the intact, two-parent family remains our cultural ideal, but it exists under constant assault. It is buffeted by affairs and ennui, subject to the eternal American hope for greater happiness, for changing the hand you dealt yourself. Getting married for life, having children and raising them with your partner \u2014 this is still the way most Americans are conducting adult life, but the numbers who are moving in a different direction continue to rise.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cThere is no other single force causing as much measurable hardship and human misery in this country as the collapse of marriage. It hurts children, it reduces mothers&#8217; financial security, and it has landed with particular devastation on those who can bear it least: the nation&#8217;s underclass.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cAmerica&#8217;s obsession with high-profile marriage flameouts \u2026 reflects a collective ambivalence toward the institution: our wish that we could land ourselves in a lasting union, mixed with our feeling of vindication, or even relief, when a standard bearer for the &#8220;traditional family&#8221; fails to pull it off. This is ultimately self-defeating.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><strong>What\u2019s the purpose?<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p>Flanagan notes that, in the end, we need to ask ourselves what marriage is all about.\u00a0Is it, in her words, \u201csimply an institution that has the capacity to increase the pleasure of the adults who enter into it\u201d?\u00a0If so, it won\u2019t last.\u00a0A marriage built only on pleasure will die when the pleasure goes away.<\/p>\n<p>Or, she writes, is marriage about raising the next generation\u2014\u201cto protect and teach it, to instill in it the habits of conduct and character that will ensure the generation&#8217;s own safe passage into adulthood\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>And that\u2019s the only place I found myself disagreeing with Flanagan.\u00a0The vision she casts about the purpose of marriage feels incomplete and a bit utilitarian.\u00a0Yes, marriage is about raising up the next generation.\u00a0But it\u2019s also <em>much more<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>In FamilyLife\u2019s <a href=\"\/weekend-to-remember\/\">Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage conferences<\/a>, two of the most eye-opening sessions for many couples are on God\u2019s purpose and plan for marriage.\u00a0Few people know much about what the Bible says about marriage.\u00a0They are surprised to learn that, as described in the first two chapters of Genesis, marriage is the first institution created by God.<\/p>\n<p><strong>1.\u00a0God desires that a husband and wife complete each other (Genesis 2:19-22).<\/strong>\u00a0When God calls you to marry, <em>He gives you a spouse who, by divine design, will complete you<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 Together you will be stronger and more effective than when you are apart<em>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>2.\u00a0God desires that a husband and wife multiply a godly legacy (Genesis 1:28).<\/strong>\u00a0Children are a key part of God\u2019s plan.\u00a0It is important to note that some couples are not able to have biological children of their own, part of God\u2019s intent is for every married couple to be ministering down into the next generation\u2014passing on their faith in God so others can pass it on to still others.\u00a0Psalm 78:1-4 makes it clear that the family is one of the best environments in which this can happen.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. God desires that a husband and wife experience oneness.<\/strong>\u00a0Genesis 2:24 says that a husband and wife shall become \u201cone flesh\u201d and God wants us to experience all the excitement and pleasure and romance that is part of a committed relationship.\u00a0But oneness involves even more.\u00a0As Dennis and Barbara Rainey write in <em>Staying Close<\/em>:<\/p>\n<blockquote style=\"margin-right: 0px\"><p>A Oneness Marriage is a husband and wife who are crafting intimacy, trust, and understanding with one another.\u00a0It&#8217;s a couple who are chiseling out a common direction, common purpose, and common plan for their lives.\u00a0A Oneness Marriage demands a lifetime process of relying on God and forging an enduring relationship according to His design.\u00a0It&#8217;s more than a mere mingling of two humans\u2014it\u2019s a tender merger of body, soul and spirit.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>4. God desires that a husband and wife mirror His image (Genesis 1:26-27).<\/strong>\u00a0God chooses to reveal to us a part of His character and being through our relationships. For example, God is love, therefore we can love.\u00a0When we forgive others, we reflect Him who forgave us in Christ (see Ephesians 4:32).<\/p>\n<p>Why is this important?\u00a0Because God created us to know Him and to live within the context of His plan for our lives.\u00a0When a man and woman come together in a marriage with God at the center of their relationship, they will reflect His image.\u00a0The world will see in that relationship a representation of who God is and how He loves.<\/p>\n<p>Marriage was created by God for our good, for the good of our society, and for His plan to be fulfilled.\u00a0It\u2019s about companionship, pleasure, responsibility, commitment, romance, raising the next generation\u2014the whole package.\u00a0It\u2019s the most difficult and yet the most fulfilling relationship we experience during our time on earth.\u00a0And that\u2019s why it\u2019s worth fighting for.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em>Copyright\u00a0\u00a9 2009 by FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marriage was created by God for our good, for the good of our society, and for His plan to be fulfilled.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2805],"tags":[],"equip-category":[],"cwp_profile":[3074],"class_list":["post-7987","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","cwp_profile-dave-boehi"],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Dave Meritt","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/dave-merittcru-org\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Marriage was created by God for our good, for the good of our society, and for His plan to be fulfilled.","meta_box":{"_cloudsearch_visibility":"","profile_obj_manual_select":false,"profile_obj":false,"separator":false,"enable_link":false,"login_restricted":"","content_type":"","disclaimer_banner":"","currency":false,"pricing_subtext":false,"element_type":false,"date_field":false,"date_format":false,"theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":"","series":false,"ignore_sticky":false,"conditional_blocks_category":false,"cta_selection":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7987","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7987"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7987\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7987"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7987"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7987"},{"taxonomy":"equip-category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/equip-category?post=7987"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=7987"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}