{"id":7908,"date":"2015-02-28T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-02-28T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=7908"},"modified":"2015-02-28T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-02-28T06:00:00","slug":"the-big-fat-cheap-wedding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/getting-married\/engagements-and-weddings\/the-big-fat-cheap-wedding\/","title":{"rendered":"The Big Fat Cheap Wedding"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\" fetchpriority=\"high\"><\/div><p>Here\u2019s a paradox: Recent studies show that married couples who had weddings with a large number of guests are more likely to stay married.\u00a0 At the same time, couples with expensive weddings are at a greater risk for divorce.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, big weddings are great.\u00a0 As long as they\u2019re cheap.<\/p>\n<p>Now, that\u2019s a challenge!<\/p>\n<p>One thing is certain\u2014the wedding industry is thriving.\u00a0 Young adults may be delaying and avoiding marriage today, but when they decide to tie the knot they make the wedding a big affair.\u00a0 More than $50 billion was spent on weddings in America last year\u2014about $30,000 per wedding.\u00a0 Take a look at websites like TheKnot.com or magazines like <em>Brides<\/em> or <em>Southern Wedding<\/em>\u2014stuffed with ads and lavishly designed with beautiful photographs showing everything you need to plan a \u201cperfect wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Many couples today view weddings differently than couples in the past.\u00a0 With so many marrying in their late 20s or early 30s, the wedding is seen more as a celebration of what they\u2019ve attained\u2014financial and relational success\u2014rather than a commitment to spending their life together. As the website TheKnot.com <a href=\"http:\/\/www.xogroupinc.com\/press-releases-home\/2014-press-releases\/2014-03-27-real-weddings-study-average-cost-of-wedding.aspx\">reports<\/a>, the average number of guests at weddings is declining (138 in 2013), but couples are spending more than ever to \u201ccreate a personalized experience, where the couples\u2019 personalities are evident in many areas of the wedding.\u201d Another trend driving up costs is \u201ccreating an experience for guests\u201d\u2014spending more on entertainment, decorations, and ambience.<\/p>\n<p>Now evidence is surfacing that questions the wisdom of spending so much on weddings.\u00a0 A recent <a href=\"http:\/\/papers.ssrn.com\/sol3\/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2501480\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">study<\/a>\u00a0by two economics professors at Emory University found when the cost of a wedding rises above $20,000, couples are 46 percent more likely to get a divorce than those whose weddings cost between $5,000-10,000.\u00a0 And those who spend less than $1,000 had an even lower average rate of divorce.<\/p>\n<p>The same study found that a larger number of wedding guests corresponded with a lower hazard rate for divorce.\u00a0 This finding was echoed in <a href=\"http:\/\/nationalmarriageproject.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf\">research<\/a> by Scott Stanley and Galena Rhoades at the University of Denver.\u00a0 Those who had more than 150 wedding guests reported, five years later, a higher rate of marital satisfaction than those with smaller weddings.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s important to note that these studies do <em>not<\/em> say that if you want a successful marriage, plan a big, cheap wedding.\u00a0 So what can we conclude?\u00a0 Here\u2019s what I suspect:<\/p>\n<p>First, many couples who spend a lot on their weddings are operating with a faulty set of priorities.\u00a0 They\u2019re too concerned with making a statement and impressing their friends. It\u2019s easy to become so focused on planning the \u201cperfect\u201d occasion that you forget that a wedding is just the first day on a lifelong journey. \u00a0Preparing for marriage is more important than planning a wedding.<\/p>\n<p>Second, a large wedding usually signifies that the couple is part of a supportive community of family and friends.\u00a0 It\u2019s vital for young couples to be part of a vibrant church that is committed to helping them succeed. As Stanley and Rhoades wrote in their report, \u201cThe more support a couple has, the better they are able to navigate the occasional choppy waters associated with marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So if you\u2019re planning a wedding, understand that there\u2019s nothing wrong with a small wedding or with spending a lot of money.\u00a0 Just remember that the purpose of a wedding is not to make a statement or enjoy a huge party.\u00a0 It\u2019s about two people becoming one and making a covenant to remain together for a lifetime \u2026 friends and family vowing to uphold the couple in their relationship \u2026 and, above all, praising our God, who brought you together.\u00a0 Let your wedding plans flow from those priorities.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em>Copyright \u00a9 2015 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Many couples today view the wedding as a celebration of what they\u2019ve attained rather than a commitment to spending their lives together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":90,"featured_media":7882,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2807],"tags":[],"equip-category":[],"cwp_profile":[3074],"class_list":["post-7908","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-engagements-and-weddings","cwp_profile-dave-boehi"],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2018\/04\/the-big-fat-cheap-wedding_1040x326.jpg","spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"_vc_post_settings":["a:1:{s:10:\"vc_grid_id\";a:0:{}}"],"_startdate":["field_598a655fc5a8d"],"startdate":[""],"_state":["field_598a6575c5a8e"],"state":[""],"_url":["field_598a6582c5a8f"],"url":[""],"_venuename":["field_598a6598c5a90"],"venuename":[""],"_hotel_reservationurl":["field_598a65b3c5a91"],"hotel_reservationurl":[""],"_reservationtelephone":["field_598a65c6c5a92"],"reservationtelephone":[""],"_imageurl":["field_598a65edc5a93"],"imageurl":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/the-big-fat-cheap-wedding_1040x326.jpg"],"_postalcode":["field_598a654b146f3"],"postalcode":[""],"_longitude":["field_598a653e355f6"],"longitude":[""],"_latitude":["field_598a64f8ada01"],"latitude":[""],"_enddate":["field_598a64a5afb90"],"enddate":[""],"_countrycode":["field_598a648b86dcc"],"countrycode":[""],"_city":["field_598a647e29bf2"],"city":[""],"_availableseats":["field_598a646bbebc6"],"availableseats":[""],"_addressline1":["field_598a645214a6b"],"addressline1":[""],"_eventid":["field_598a6442626b9"],"eventid":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["7882"],"_cs_replacements":["a:1:{s:12:\"blog-sidebar\";s:4:\"cs-2\";}"],"_alt_author":["field_5ac3df572642e"],"alt_author":["14298"],"_edit_last":["90"],"_wp_old_date":["2018-01-05"],"_ultimate_layouts_video_link":[""],"_yoast_wpseo_primary_category":[""],"_nectar_gallery_slider":["off"],"_nectar_quote_author":[""],"_nectar_quote":[""],"_nectar_link":[""],"_nectar_video_m4v":[""],"_nectar_video_ogv":[""],"_nectar_video_poster":[""],"_nectar_video_embed":[""],"_nectar_audio_mp3":[""],"_nectar_audio_ogg":[""],"_post_item_masonry_sizing":["regular"],"_nectar_header_bg":[""],"_nectar_header_parallax":["off"],"_nectar_header_bg_height":[""],"_nectar_header_bg_color":[""],"_nectar_header_font_color":[""],"_disable_transparent_header":["off"],"_wpb_vc_js_status":["false"],"_at_widget":["1"],"_yoast_wpseo_content_score":["30"],"_yoast_wpseo_focuskeywords":["[]"],"_eael_post_view_count":["834"],"_eb_reusable_block_ids":["a:0:{}"],"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":[""],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-7908.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-7908.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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