{"id":7904,"date":"2018-01-05T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-01-05T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/?p=7904"},"modified":"2018-01-05T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2018-01-05T00:00:00","slug":"still-looking-for-prince-charming","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/getting-married\/engagements-and-weddings\/still-looking-for-prince-charming\/","title":{"rendered":"Still Looking for Prince Charming"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\" fetchpriority=\"high\"><\/div><p>To introduce a talk, I once showed the classic Walt Disney clip of Snow White singing \u201cSomeday My Prince Will Come\u201d to a roomful of college-aged girls.\u00a0Their response was dramatic.\u00a0Many raised arms in the air and shouted, \u201cYes!\u201d\u00a0Some stood on their chairs with their hands clasped over their hearts.\u00a0Some whooped.\u00a0Some cheered.\u00a0Some hollered.\u00a0Some pretended to swoon.\u00a0One or two had tears streaming down their cheeks.<\/p>\n<p>The response when I showed the same clip to a roomful of mostly married middle-aged women, several weeks later, could not have been more different.\u00a0Most looked disinterested.\u00a0Many laughed and sneered.\u00a0Some rolled their eyes.\u00a0Some shrugged a shoulder and went back to having conversations with their girlfriends.\u00a0Not one woman pumped her arm and shouted, \u201cYes!\u201d\u00a0Not one.<\/p>\n<p>The reactions were telling.\u00a0The college girls had hearts filled with hope of meeting their Prince Charming and living happily ever after.\u00a0They eagerly anticipated that marrying Mr. McDreamy would fulfill their desire.\u00a0The middle-aged women had hearts filled with cynicism because their Prince Charming hadn\u2019t delivered the happily-ever-after ending they had hoped for.\u00a0Mr. McDreamy had turned into Mr. McDreary and Mr. McDumpy.\u00a0They had the gut-wrenching suspicion that no one would ever meet the longings of their hearts.\u00a0The nods, tears, and \u201cyeses\u201d for these women came when I talked about the pain of disappointment.\u00a0It\u2019s not that their desire had died.\u00a0It\u2019s just that they were wearied and wounded from all the years of hoping and yearning.\u00a0They still hadn\u2019t found what they were looking for.<\/p>\n<h5><strong>Looking for love<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p>In the Old Testament, the prophet Jeremiah tells the story of a woman desperate for love.\u00a0As a young bride, she loved her husband\u2014she delighted in him as he delighted in her.\u00a0Then, her commitment was tested.\u00a0Other men enticed her with the passion, thrill, and adventure of illicit sex.\u00a0She took the bait.\u00a0Lover after lover passed through her arms.\u00a0With each one, her level of satisfaction decreased, and her level of desperation increased.\u00a0She ended up so needy and so skilled in the art of pursuing illicit love, that even the most experienced whore could learn new secrets of seduction by observing her tactics.\u00a0\u201cHow well you direct your course to seek love!\u00a0So that even to wicked women you have taught your ways\u201d (Jeremiah 2:33).<\/p>\n<p>Who is this needy woman?\u00a0It\u2019s God\u2019s bride, the nation Israel.\u00a0In Jeremiah\u2019s time, she turned her back on her exclusive devotion to God and made alliances with the surrounding nations, embracing their morals and their gods.\u00a0She played the whore by forsaking His love and pursuing relationships with them.\u00a0She looked to them instead of Him to meet her needs.\u00a0But the meaning of this allegory is much broader than that particular historical situation.\u00a0It\u2019s also a lesson for women today.<\/p>\n<p>Martin Luther once said, \u201cWhatever your heart clings to and confides in, that is really your god.\u201d\u00a0Most women yearn to find love in the arms of a man.\u00a0Their heart yearns for earthly romance more than it yearns for the reality to which it points.\u00a0Romance\u2014finding their Prince Charming\u2014is the hope they cling to and confide in.\u00a0Romance is their god.\u00a0Jeremiah\u2019s narrative portrays their story.\u00a0It speaks to all of us who \u201cdirect our course to seek love\u201d\u2014and who turn to men rather than God to find it.\u00a0It tells the parable of every woman who feels deep desires, longings, and needs, and tries to fulfill them in the wrong place and in the wrong way.<\/p>\n<p>The tragedy in Jeremiah\u2019s tale is that the woman foolishly turned her back on the true lover who could meet her needs and embraced false lovers, who couldn\u2019t possibly satisfy the desires of her heart.\u00a0The Lord told His bride that it was as though she had spurned a natural spring of pure, fresh water and sought instead to satisfy her thirst with the stagnant water from a self-made, leaky cistern.\u00a0He says, \u201cMy people have committed two evils:\u00a0they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water\u201d (Jeremiah 2:13).<\/p>\n<p>Passages in Jeremiah (2:13, 17:5-8) demonstrate that looking for love the wild way differs substantially from looking for love the wise way.\u00a0Here are two lists that summarize how:<\/p>\n<h5><strong>Looking for love the wild way<\/strong><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li>She forgets or neglects her relationship with God (\u201cwhose heart turns away from the Lord\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>She thinks that a relationship with a man will (or ought to) meet her emotional needs (\u201ctrusts in a man and makes flesh her strength\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>Her heart feels lonely and needy (\u201cuninhabited salt land,\u201d \u201cparched places\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>She hacks and digs at the relationship, and makes demands of her man to get him to fill her perceived need (\u201chew[s] out cisterns for [herself]\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>She demands that the relationship provide her with something it cannot possibly provide (\u201ccisterns that can hold no water\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>Her relationship repeatedly disappoints her (\u201cbroken cisterns\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>She feels anxious and afraid when the relationship falters (\u201cfears when heat comes,\u201d \u201canxious in the year of drought\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>Her heart slowly shrivels and dies (\u201clike a shrub in the desert\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>Her life is spiritually barren and unproductive (\u201cshall not see any good come\u201d).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><strong>Looking for love the wise way<\/strong><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li>She faithfully pursues a relationship with God.\u00a0(She \u201ctrusts in the Lord.\u201d\u00a0She has not \u201cforsaken\u201d Him.)<\/li>\n<li>She knows that only a relationship with God can meet her deepest needs.\u00a0She does not depend on men to do this (\u201cwhose trust is the Lord\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>Her relationship with God nourishes her spirit (\u201clike a tree planted by water\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>She sends her roots deep into God\u2019s stream to meet her emotional needs.\u00a0She does not demand emotional satisfaction from people (\u201csends out its roots by the stream\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>She knows that the Lord will sustain her if a love relationship goes through difficult times or in the absence of such a relationship (\u201cdoes not fear when heat comes\u201d; \u201cis not anxious in the year of drought\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>Her heart remains alive and grounded in God\u2019s love, regardless of the state of her earthly relationships (\u201cleaves remain green\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>Her life is spiritually fruitful and productive, regardless of the state of her earthly relationships (\u201cdoes not cease to bear fruit\u201d).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Which way best characterizes the way you look for love?\u00a0The \u201cGirl-Gone-Wild\u201d puts her trust in man\u2014she looks for some guy to be her savior.\u00a0She tries to monopolize his time and attention and makes demands to try to get what she wants.\u00a0The \u201cGirl-Gone-Wise\u201d trusts in the Lord.\u00a0She has a Savior, so she doesn\u2019t need or expect a guy to meet her deepest needs.\u00a0She is not desperate for a man.\u00a0It\u2019s not that she wouldn\u2019t enjoy a healthy relationship.\u00a0She would.\u00a0But she draws her identity and strength from a much more reliable source.<\/p>\n<h5><strong>Deep-reaching roots<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p>The Girl-Gone-Wise does not \u201ctrust in man and make flesh her strength.\u201d\u00a0Her heart relies on the Lord.\u00a0She is \u201clike a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit\u201d (Jeremiah 17:8).<\/p>\n<p>The image is a powerful one.\u00a0It\u2019s not that the wise woman never experiences pressure-cooker \u201cheat\u201d in her relationships\u2014or that she never faces a year of relational drought.\u00a0But she withstands those tough times.\u00a0She doesn\u2019t get fearful or anxious when they come, because her relationship with the Lord nourishes and sustains her.\u00a0She doesn\u2019t rely on the cistern.\u00a0She doesn\u2019t dry up spiritually or emotionally when a man disappoints her.\u00a0She doesn\u2019t have to hew out cistern after cistern after cistern, desperately trying to find the water she needs.\u00a0Her roots go deep.<\/p>\n<p>If the love of her life disappoints, betrays, and wounds her\u2014or even if she never marries\u2014she will not dry up.\u00a0Her leaves will remain green, and she will not cease to lead a spiritually productive and satisfying life.\u00a0Her well-being does not depend on a man.<\/p>\n<p>Looking to man\u2014to a Prince Charming\u2014to give what only God can supply is an exercise in futility, frustration, and pain.\u00a0And it can lead farther and farther away from the place where that longing can truly be fulfilled.\u00a0The Girl-Gone-Wise knows what the deep longing in her spirit is all about.\u00a0So when she feels needy, she directs her longing and sighing Godward (Psalm 38:9).\u00a0She understands that only as she delights herself in the Lord, will her needs be met.\u00a0He is the One who gives her the desires of her heart.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Adapted from\u00a0Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild, by Mary A. Kassian. Published by Moody Publishers, Chicago, Illinois. \u00a92010 by Mary A. Kassian. Used with permission.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you want a truly &#8220;happily ever after&#8221; ending, you need to look for love the wise way<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":216,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2807],"tags":[],"equip-category":[],"cwp_profile":[3160],"class_list":["post-7904","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-engagements-and-weddings","cwp_profile-mary-kassian"],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"_vc_post_settings":["a:1:{s:10:\"vc_grid_id\";a:0:{}}"],"_startdate":["field_598a655fc5a8d"],"startdate":[""],"_state":["field_598a6575c5a8e"],"state":[""],"_url":["field_598a6582c5a8f"],"url":[""],"_venuename":["field_598a6598c5a90"],"venuename":[""],"_hotel_reservationurl":["field_598a65b3c5a91"],"hotel_reservationurl":[""],"_reservationtelephone":["field_598a65c6c5a92"],"reservationtelephone":[""],"_imageurl":["field_598a65edc5a93"],"imageurl":[""],"_postalcode":["field_598a654b146f3"],"postalcode":[""],"_longitude":["field_598a653e355f6"],"longitude":[""],"_latitude":["field_598a64f8ada01"],"latitude":[""],"_enddate":["field_598a64a5afb90"],"enddate":[""],"_countrycode":["field_598a648b86dcc"],"countrycode":[""],"_city":["field_598a647e29bf2"],"city":[""],"_availableseats":["field_598a646bbebc6"],"availableseats":[""],"_addressline1":["field_598a645214a6b"],"addressline1":[""],"_eventid":["field_598a6442626b9"],"eventid":[""],"_cs_replacements":["a:1:{s:12:\"blog-sidebar\";s:4:\"cs-2\";}"],"_alt_author":["field_5ac3df572642e"],"alt_author":["14384"],"_eael_post_view_count":["942"],"_eb_reusable_block_ids":["a:0:{}"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-7904.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-7904.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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