{"id":51212,"date":"2019-03-25T17:11:09","date_gmt":"2019-03-25T22:11:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=51212"},"modified":"2019-03-25T17:11:09","modified_gmt":"2019-03-25T22:11:09","slug":"all-my-husband-heard-from-me-was-boooo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/staying-married\/wives\/all-my-husband-heard-from-me-was-boooo\/","title":{"rendered":"All My Husband Heard From Me Was ‘BOOOO!’"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

Here I was again, engulfed in loneliness and discouragement, my new companions. I was having another pity party, destroying any<\/em> chance of falling asleep.<\/p>\n

Ughhhh!<\/em> This was happening more and more as I lay my weary body down beside my husband, Dave, who seemed oblivious to the tug-of-war in my mind.<\/p>\n

I should be content and happy,<\/em> I scolded myself. I have a godly husband and three sons that keep me busy, but I wish my husband would help more, listen more, lead me more spiritually, and be more attentive to my needs!<\/em><\/p>\n

More, more, more. Yes\u2014God, I need more!<\/em> I thought.<\/p>\n

It feels like I do <\/em>everything, and no one cares or notices, especially my husband.<\/em> I fell asleep, scheming how I could get my husband on board with my plans to change him.<\/p>\n

A surprising revelation<\/h2>\n

The next morning, Dave and I were teaching a group of young moms. Dave began eagerly telling the women what almost all their husbands probably experienced growing up.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen your husband was a boy, he most likely had a mom or dad or a relative cheering for him, telling him, \u2018Good job!\u2019 As your husband got older, he might have had a coach, a teacher or some mentor telling him he was good at something, and that coach or teacher cheered him on and encouraged him to work harder.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dave was totally into his talk now. He\u2019d been sitting beside me when we started, but he became more animated and stood up to make his points.<\/p>\n

He told them that as a college quarterback, he had coaches and fans cheering him on and saying, \u201cDave Wilson, you\u2019re the man!\u201d As he said those words, he started clapping his hands enthusiastically. His energy was filling the room, and he had completely captured the women\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n

He then explained that when I said yes to his marriage proposal, I shouted to the world, \u201cYou are the man of all men!\u201d As he yelled those words, he looked straight at me with a look that said I was his biggest cheerleader.<\/p>\n

Then he lowered the boom.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBut ladies, after we have been married a while,\u201d he said sadly, \u201cwe men walk in the door after a long, hard day and all we hear is, \u2018BOOOOOO!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

My heart dropped. What was he saying \u2026 that I boo him all the time?<\/em> My face turned red as I picked my heart up off the floor.<\/p>\n

Is your love for real? Find out in Bob Lepine's new book, Love Like You Mean It.<\/em><\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>\n

An uncomfortable conversation<\/h2>\n

On the ride home, I defensively asked, \u201cYou think I boo you all the time?\u201d I then said, \u201cI\u2019m not booing you. I am HELPING you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t feel like help,\u201d Dave quietly replied.<\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t angry or defensive, which bothered me because he seemed broken.<\/p>\n

His battered soul worried me and I wondered, Was I the cause of the wind going out of his sails?<\/em><\/p>\n

Dave then added, \u201cYou may not literally boo me, but you are constantly critiquing the things I do or say. You fix the things I have already fixed, like redressing the kids after I dressed them, or telling me what I should or shouldn\u2019t have said to family and friends. It just doesn\u2019t seem like I can do anything right in your eyes. All I hear is \u2018BOOOO!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Silence engulfed the car. I was shocked! I had no idea he felt any of this.<\/p>\n

Looking at myself<\/h2>\n

When we got home, I went straight up to my bedroom and fell to my knees, where I usually had deep conversations with God. It seemed it had been a long time since I\u2019d been in that spot.<\/p>\n

My prayers had become a rant-session about my husband\u2019s inability to meet my needs.<\/p>\n

Conviction flooded my heart as I fell completely prostrate on the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it true, Lord? Have I gone from Dave\u2019s biggest cheerleader to his biggest critic?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Jesus gently answered, \u201cYes \u2026 and it\u2019s because you believe if you change Dave, then you will be happy. But Dave wasn\u2019t created to make you happy. Only I can do that.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I realized I\u2019d made Dave and our marriage more important than my relationship with God. And whatever we prioritize over God becomes the source of our joy.<\/p>\n

Dave is an amazing guy, but he makes a really bad god!<\/p>\n

\u201cIn everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success\u201d <\/em>(Proverbs 3:6).<\/p>\n

As I \u201cput God first\u201d in my life that day, I was filled with a love and appreciation for Dave that I had lost. As I began to cheer for him again, he morphed before my eyes into one incredible man and husband.<\/p>\n

\n

Taken from <\/em>Vertical Marriage<\/a> by Dave and Ann Wilson. Copyright \u00a9 2019 by Dave and Ann Wilson. Used with permission of Zondervan<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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