{"id":22631,"date":"2018-09-19T13:21:20","date_gmt":"2018-09-19T18:21:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=22631"},"modified":"2018-09-19T13:21:20","modified_gmt":"2018-09-19T18:21:20","slug":"is-happy-divorce-a-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/divorce\/is-happy-divorce-a-thing\/","title":{"rendered":"Is \u201cHappy Divorce\u201d a Thing?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

The couple on screen clinks their champagne glasses: \u201cHappy divorce!\u201d<\/p>\n

They began the weekend a married couple and have managed to divorce amicably, Inside Edition reports<\/a>. It\u2019s one of the principles of Divorce Hotel, where the couple has booked separate rooms, of course. A mediator there explains, \u201cYou come here, you know how long it’s going to take, you know how much it’s going to cost, and you leave your marriage on a positive note.\u201d<\/p>\n

When things get heated during their mediation, one spouse goes for a massage, the other for golf. At the end of the weekend? Signed papers and separate lives.<\/p>\n

At first glance, doesn\u2019t this seem like a toast-worthy experience? No knock-down, drag-outs in a public court. Minimal venom spewed over custody arrangements. For anyone who\u2019s walked through the living hell of a cutthroat divorce, this does indeed sound like a spa treatment. Easy. Relatively relaxing, even.<\/p>\n

The couple referred to above stated that their goal, at the end of the weekend, was to be friends. But what if, instead, something died?<\/p>\n

What if divorce was the removal of something living, precious?\u00a0Is it really a win for the children who just lost their parents\u2019 marriage–especially considering the troubling statistics<\/a> (like those concluding children of divorce will have more difficulties than if there were a death in the family)?1<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

[wtr-event-search]<\/p>\n

Our era of memes and status updates can lure us into an acceptance–even a celebration–of happy endings to marriages. We might be moved by the stories that bring couples to Divorce Hotel, or just divorce. After all, what heartache must bring someone to the point of \u201cI can\u2019t be married to this guy anymore\u201d?<\/p>\n

Is \u201chappy divorce\u201d really a thing?\u00a0Can anyone really just walk away? And if there are really no tears, no heartache, and we can remain friends–is divorce really the most healing and whole option?<\/p>\n

Paul Miller suggests that we long for intimacy, but become overwhelmed by the work of love. He speaks of a \u201cmodern myth that says, \u2018Love is a feeling. If the feeling is gone, love is gone.\u2019\u201d He elaborates,<\/p>\n

Because our culture makes feeling happy the goal, when our feelings are negative, when we experience the cost of love, we think that something has gone wrong, that we\u2019re not being true to ourselves.<\/em><\/p>\n

…Once we discover that the other person is deeply flawed, we often pull back, thinking everything is wrong. A bad marriage is one where neither spouse does the hard work of love. But as soon as one spouse begins to do [faithful, enduring love \u201cwithout an exit strategy\u201d], the bad marriage disappears.2<\/a><\/sup><\/em><\/p>\n

Maybe you find yourself in a broken place, flirting with the cavernous loss of your marriage, and wondering if you should check into the Divorce Hotel. Might you be open to an alternate solution? FamilyLife\u2019s Weekend to Remember\u00ae<\/a> \u00a0is also a weekend getaway–and yes, with a bit of relaxation scheduled in. But the goal of this particular weekend is for you to come away stronger, more committed, with practical tools in place–perhaps even finding love in your marriage again. Thousands of couples have left this weekend with renewed connectedness and statistically overwhelming degrees of greater satisfaction in their marriages.3<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

What if your marriage doesn\u2019t need to die? It\u2019s hard to put a price on saving your marriage. And our hunch is that you\u2019ll find this worth it.<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2018 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n

1. Emery, Robert E. Marriage, Divorce and Children\u2019s Adjustment. Sage Publications, 1988.\u21a9<\/a><\/sup>
\n2. Miller, Paul. A Loving Life: In a World of Broken Relationships. Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway (20140. \u21a9<\/a><\/sup>
\n3. On average, couples entering the Weekend to Remember\u00ae enter rating their marital satisfaction at a 4 on a scale of 1-10. The average couple leaves with a satisfaction at 8 on a scale of 1-10.\u21a9<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And if there are really no tears, no heartache, and we can remain friends\u2013is divorce really the most healing and whole option?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":90,"featured_media":22639,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"Is \u201chappy divorce\u201d really a thing? 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