{"id":151251,"date":"2023-06-02T09:23:41","date_gmt":"2023-06-02T14:23:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=151251"},"modified":"2024-12-19T11:11:19","modified_gmt":"2024-12-19T16:11:19","slug":"should-i-get-a-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/divorce\/should-i-get-a-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Should I Get a Divorce?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Editor\u2019s Note:<\/strong> The following is adapted from a two-part <\/em>FamilyLife Today\u00ae<\/sup> series with author and theologian Wayne Grudem. You can listen to the podcast here: <\/em>\u201cShould I Get a Divorce?\u201d<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You\u2019ve reached a deeply painful place in your marriage where you\u2019re asking, \u201cShould I get a divorce?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is a difficult judgment call that requires consideration of your individual situation with the guidance of wise, biblical counsel. We\u2019ll talk more about what this looks like later. For now, let\u2019s look at some guiding principles as we seek to apply what the Bible says about divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n

When should I stay married?<\/h2>\n\n\n

God\u2019s intention for marriage is a permanent, lifelong union between one man and one woman. That\u2019s the ideal we should work for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But in some cases, the ideal feels out of reach. Maybe it\u2019s an addiction to gambling, alcohol, drugs, or pornography. Whatever it is, you\u2019ve tried again and again to fix it, and haven\u2019t seen much change. It takes prayer for discernment to know when that\u2019s the case.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not arguing for divorce for all kinds of reasons, like if the husband and wife can\u2019t agree on something about the children or activities or how to manage their finances. That\u2019s a time to stick it out, work at understanding, and move toward each other with as much outside support<\/a> as possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, separation can lead to change and repentance<\/a>. In cases where the husband and wife still have the opportunity to make their marriage work, they should try to do that first. If one spouse refuses to even talk during the separation, then the marriage has been abandoned, and divorce could be the legitimate option.<\/p>\n\n\n

Should I get a divorce?<\/h2>\n\n\n

In 1 Corinthians 7:15<\/a>, Paul says, \u201cif the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases<\/em> the brother or sister is not enslaved\u201d (emphasis added). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What cases would Paul have in mind that would damage a marriage as much as adultery or desertion by a spouse? These are situations that require wise consideration: abuse, abuse of children, prolonged verbal and relational cruelty, credible threats of serious physical harm or murder, and incorrigible drug or alcohol addiction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those who don\u2019t hold this position are at risk of leaving the abused spouse in a situation of enslavement. And Paul says, \u201cIn such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved.\u201d That\u2019s the only place in the Bible that marriage is talked about in terms of slavery. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So Paul is saying that to stay in those situations is like slavery, and God doesn\u2019t want to leave a spouse in that slave situation.<\/p>\n\n\n

Find out why over 1.5 million couples have attended FamilyLife\u2019s Weekend to Remember.<\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>\n

Seek wise counsel<\/h2>\n\n\n

Pastors, church leaders, and trustworthy friends can give wise advice in these areas according to their understanding of Scripture. Pastors and Christian counselors can offer guidance<\/a> by thinking in terms of these categories:<\/p>\n\n\n