{"id":147494,"date":"2023-04-06T12:39:01","date_gmt":"2023-04-06T17:39:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=147494"},"modified":"2023-04-06T12:39:01","modified_gmt":"2023-04-06T17:39:01","slug":"the-humble-leader-what-it-looks-like-and-doesnt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/equip\/the-humble-leader-what-it-looks-like-and-doesnt\/","title":{"rendered":"The Humble Leader: What It Looks Like (\u2026and Doesn\u2019t)"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

I\u2019ve known a lot of gifted leaders. Who doesn\u2019t love the leader who can pry open your mind with an \u201caha\u201d moment? Tumble you into a vision you\u2019d never even conceived?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But we\u2019ve all known leaders powerfully gifted, who were powerful \u2026 well, jerks. So there\u2019s a leadership quality that for me, trumps giftedness every time: humility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I see that God, too, straight-up sets Himself against the arrogant (James 4:6<\/a>) and hangs out with the humble, the low (Isaiah 57:15<\/a>). And in His birth, Jesus models a King inaugurated right next to animal poop. He says we should follow Him into scutwork, like washing dirty bodies (John 13:1-7<\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The humble leader is also the most authentic and, therefore, trustworthy. They\u2019re teachable and, therefore, good listeners. They\u2019re servants of every person and, therefore, good at loving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think Bigger<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s contrary to the narrative leaders typically receive, right? Fellow FamilyLife writer Tracy Lane<\/a> wrote of the inauguration of the first female vice president:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

I\u2019ve seen it all over my feeds: \u201cNow my daughter knows she can be whatever she wants to be.\u201d But I want my daughters to know there\u2019s more than that. To dream bigger than whatever they want to be!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s who their Creator created them to be. And that\u2019s a dream laced with surrender. That\u2019s something different than \u201cwhatever they want to be.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe God has a quiet midnight bedroom pouring their hearts into a newborn\u2026 or has a delicate ICU bedside in their future. Maybe it is the Oval Office someday. Or even taking the gospel to an unreached people far away.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

See, God doesn\u2019t command against ambition, but selfish<\/em> ambition. Christian leadership requires washing\u2014not softening\u2014our ambition, scrubbing self-importance from it. Author Michael Hyatt points out Ezra stood on a \u201chigh wooden platform\u201d (Nehemiah 8:4<\/a>) to share God\u2019s words with His people. If he\u2019d had it built too short out of false humility, few would have heard what God commanded him to share.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The problem isn\u2019t with the glory, but where it\u2019s headed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When leadership is about filling my own holes<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In John 3:30 (NIV)\u2013\u201cHe must become greater, I must become less\u201d\u2014I used to hear I should be invisible so as not to steal God\u2019s honor. But John the Baptist, who said those words, certainly was no wallflower. He just directed his following to the right place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But as leaders, it\u2019s so easy for our cravings to smack on some religious lipstick, right? Maybe our hunger for approval makes us always serving, always available, always busy. Or our thirst for popularity makes us charismatic. Maybe our desire for power or significance causes us to jostle for position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our insecurity, our soul-holes\u2014like a barber pole\u2014have a revolving relationship with pride. Both unworthiness and overweening ego find their value in what we do, what others think, or what we have (reputation, control, security, popularity, power). Neither chooses satisfied worthiness via our image of God and proclaimed by Jesus\u2019 sacrifice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To Jeremiah, Gideon, Moses, Esther\u2013leaders questioning their abilities\u2013God emphasized His purposes and choosing, His strength, help, and capability amid crushing weakness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness,<\/em> Tim Keller explains the Greek word physi\u00f3\u014d\u2014<\/em>translated in 1 Corinthians 4:6 \u201cthat none of you may be puffed up<\/em>\u201d\u2014refers to a distended organ. It\u2019s an uncomfortably swelled sense of self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of inflating a balloon. When unfilled, un-\u201cabiding\u201d with the gravity of God\u2019s love (John 15:1-7)\u2014we inflate ourselves with all the ways we try to be worthy. Ego deflates to insecurity in their absence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But we don\u2019t have to try to pump ourselves up anymore. And that\u2019s where we can camp out when, through the generosity of God, we shine. We were unworthy\u2013and He changed all that (see Galatians 2:20<\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do I have an issue with pride?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Pride\u2019s a stealthy adversary. C.S. Lewis observed in Mere Christianity,<\/em> it\u2019s the \u201cone vice of which no man in the world is free \u2026 If you think you are not conceited, you are very conceited indeed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, spoiler: You, like the rest of us, have a pride issue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps it\u2019s easier to ferret out the ways pride manifests for us. Not that appearing<\/em> more humble helps pride one iota. But we might know where, in our hearts, to start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How could pride show up in us as leaders?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Overcommitment\/busyness.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps from a need to be needed, significant, or in control, we rely on ourselves rather than others. We refuse others serving us; we must be the giver. Or we may allow others control of our schedule, desiring approval or popularity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God alone should be our voice of authority in service\u2014not the leash of others\u2019 whims or praise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Self-aggrandizement or superiority.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We parade to ourselves, God, or others our spiritual resume, fame, influence, achievements, activities, generosity. We may fantasize about our present or future greatness, our contribution to God\u2019s kingdom, rather than coming to God as \u201cpoor in spirit\u201d (Matthew 5:3).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Control.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps we micromanage, overprotect, or defend territory. We don\u2019t empower others toward growth, courage, perseverance, or leadership by \u201centrust[ing] to reliable people\u201d (2 Timothy 2:2, NIV). We may fail to utilize all the parts of Christ\u2019s Body to most effectively help His kingdom come. We may struggle with fear, trusting the power in our hands rather than God\u2019s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Power or influence.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We might use our power to accomplish what feel like vital agendas rather than open-handedly seeking God\u2019s kingdom and His will being done on earth as it is in heaven. We might leverage Jesus to construct our personal platform, significance, and influence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Lack of teachability or flexibility. Defensiveness and\/or blame-shifting.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

But \u201creprove a wise man, and he will love you\u201d (Proverbs 9:8); \u201cThose whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent\u201d (Revelation 3:19). The humble leader retains consciousness of the log in their own eye (Matthew 7:5<\/a>) and regularly says \u201cI\u2019m sorry\/I forgive you,\u201d racing others to the cross.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Lacking compassion and mercy; easily angered.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

As part of His identity, God repeatedly characterizes Himself as \u201cslow to anger.\u201d Humility increases the understanding of our weakness and sin, our need, and God\u2019s constant compassion toward us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Humility in leadership readily deploys the Holy Spirit\u2019s outflow of patience, unflustered when undervalued or underappreciated. (Check out Proverbs 14:29<\/a>, 19:11<\/a>; Ecclesiastes 7:9<\/a>, and Colossians 3:13<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Lack of\/or resistance to working with the powerless, or in secret, or work unglamorous and small. <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBeware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven \u2026 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing\u201d (Matthew 6:1,3); \u201cIf anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all\u201d (Mark 9:35).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Unwillingness to be served, stubbornly independent.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Like Peter, we resist anyone washing our feet (John 13:8<\/a>). Yet, 1 Corinthians 12:21 says no part of Christ\u2019s Body can say to another, \u201cI don\u2019t need you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Perfectionistic.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Though God tells us to be perfect as He is perfect, pride subtly shifts a God-focused quest for holiness to lofty, self-promoting ideas of ourselves, and a desire to shuck weakness, shame, or being wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Lack of authenticity or vulnerability; lack of ready confession. Desire to conceal or hide.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We may want to preserve appearances or avoid consequences. We embellish to make ourselves or our homes or family or contributions look better. Or we may control others by spinning the narrative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And we may be guilty of cleaning up the outside instead of cleaning up the inside\u2013which Jesus loathed (Matthew 23:25<\/a>). <\/strong>Rather than seeing the problem as within us, we see the problem in the outside world. But the biblical David models healthy vulnerability and open personal repentance in 2 Samuel 12<\/a> and Psalm 51<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. Judgmental or critical.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Nancy Lee Wolgemuth emphasizes how humility changes our posture to loving discernment and genuine care<\/a>: \u201cProud people have a critical, fault-finding spirit; they look at everyone else\u2019s faults with a microscope but their own with a telescope. Broken people are compassionate; they can forgive much because they know how much they have been forgiven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. False modesty; self-deprecation.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

God isn\u2019t just the Master of our weakness, but our strength: \u201cYou have \u2026 clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent\u201d (Psalm 30:11). We can accept thoughtful praise or accurate descriptions of what we\u2019ve done well, in godward gratitude: \u201cWhat do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?\u201d (1 Corinthians 4:7).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

13. Resting in gifts\/abilities; pointing to self as hero or celebrity. Lack of intimate time with God.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Paul David Tripp explains in Dangerous Calling,<\/em>\u201cBecause of this, I don\u2019t grieve enough, I don\u2019t pray enough, I don\u2019t prepare enough, I don\u2019t confess enough, and I don\u2019t listen to others enough \u2026 I don\u2019t minister out of my own sense of need for Christ\u2019s grace, and I don\u2019t seek out the help of others.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

14. Comparison to others.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We naturally tend to compare ourselves to those we perceive as lower than us. Lewis again: \u201cPride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

15. Eagerness to speak more than listen.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Lack of listening communicates more self-love and love of our contributions than love for the person across from us. \u201cA fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion\u201d (Proverbs 18:2); \u201clet every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger\u201d (James 1:19).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

16. Lack of gratitude.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We may feel entitled to what we \u201cdeserve\u201d or have earned for ourselves, rather than the reality of deserving eternal punishment, aside from God\u2019s kindness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t miss this practical comparison of proud people vs. broken people.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Humility in leadership: what it is<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

But after that grim picture\u2014what\u2019s the solution look like?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Humility in leadership sees ourselves just as God sees us. No greater. No less. It\u2019s a beautiful lack of self-consciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We look at ourselves with \u201csober judgment\u201d (Romans 12:3), placing ourselves as leaders in the right order of things: beneath God\u2019s authority and valuing others\u2019 needs above ours (Romans 1:21-25<\/a>, Philippians 2:3-11<\/a>). As with Jesus, leadership acts as our vehicle for service: \u201cFor even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve\u201d (Mark 10:45).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jesus sketches a black-and-white contrast of the humble leader: \u201cThe kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors. But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves\u201d (Luke 22:25-26).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a humble leader, you\u2019re a window to the source of light, scrupulously guiding gazes in the right direction: \u201cNot to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!\u201d (Psalm 115:1).<\/p>\n\n\n

\n\n\n

Copyright \u00a9 2022 Janel Breitenstein. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Janel Breitenstein is an author, freelance writer, speaker, and frequent contributor for FamilyLife, including Passport2Identity\u00ae, Art of Parenting\u00ae, and regular articles. After five and a half years in East Africa, her family of six has returned to Colorado, where they continue to work on behalf of the poor with Engineering Ministries International. Her book, Permanent Markers: Spiritual Life Skills to Write on Your Kids\u2019 Hearts<\/em> (Harvest House), empowers parents to creatively engage kids in vibrant spirituality. You can find her\u2014\u201cThe Awkward Mom\u201d\u2014having uncomfortable, important conversations at JanelBreitenstein.com, and on Instagram @janelbreit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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