{"id":129758,"date":"2022-06-17T10:42:24","date_gmt":"2022-06-17T16:42:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=129758"},"modified":"2022-06-17T10:42:24","modified_gmt":"2022-06-17T16:42:24","slug":"a-gift-for-dad-4-ideas-to-encourage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/holidays\/featured-holidays\/fathers-day\/a-gift-for-dad-4-ideas-to-encourage\/","title":{"rendered":"A Gift for Dad: 4 Ideas to Encourage"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

I should start by saying my daughter\u2019s fine. When I heard the thump<\/em>, though, I thought I\u2019d broken my baby girl. Actually, my first reaction was \u201cWhat the heck was that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pulling up the blinds in the bedroom, I had no idea what would make that noise down at my feet\u2014this double whump-thump<\/em>. I looked down and it all made terrible sense. My 6-month-old had rolled herself off our bed where I\u2019d sat her. Whump<\/em>: her hitting the floor. Thump<\/em>: her head bonking the banister.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I still fight against shame thinking about it. She was completely fine \u2026 but what if?<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat if\u201d keeps me up at night as unwanted thoughts intrude, nightmares of terrible ways I could let my family down. For years, the best way I found to exercise those demons was to share this story with everyone I met. I just needed to get the info out there and see if people would unfriend me on Facebook. What I found shocked me\u2013nearly every parent I told had a similar story. I heard tales of accidents that made me feel like I was doing PRET-ty well, all things considered. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

These confessions of imperfect fathers <\/a>ended up being a surprise gift for a dad in need of encouragement.<\/p>\n\n\n

Need a gift for dad? Try some encouragement<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n

Dads live in the eye of a storm, trying to keep our family in that sweet safe spot as the wind whips and the torrents surge. Life is chaos, and it turns out that many of the things we love most are fragile. We can\u2019t keep our family sheltered from the storms, try as we might.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sisyphus was this dude from Greek mythology who did something super messed up. Some god caught wind of Sis\u2019 shenanigans and thought, Enough of that<\/em>. Punishment time: Sisyphus had to roll a boulder up a hill. If he got it to the top, he was done. But the gods rigged it\u2014he could never get it all the way up there. He got distracted, some bird pecked his toe. It rolled back down. Like pinball, but all the fun sucked out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fatherhood can feel like that\u2014another day, another boulder, never getting over the hump of finding complete safety and security for the family. It\u2019s exhausting. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a dad, here\u2019s what helps me get out of the Sisyphus hopelessness. And if you\u2019re looking for a gift for dad, it\u2019s where I\u2019d start.<\/p>\n\n\n

1. Give dad the gift of recognition.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n

Reese Bobby drilled a terrible mantra into the head of his racing legend of a son, Ricky Bobby: \u201cIf you ain\u2019t first, you\u2019re last.\u201d I resonate with that sentiment (even though my father was way better\u2014I see you, Dad!). I focus more on my failures than I do my successes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when looking for a gift for dad this Father\u2019s Day, consider reminding him of the ways he\u2019s succeeded\u2013especially the things that don\u2019t feel like wins. Cutting the grass doesn\u2019t feel like a win. Neither does taking out the trash. They\u2019re just things dads do, right? Yet, they make an impact. Homes would be stinkier. Grass would be taller.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hebrews 3:13 (NIV)<\/a> tells us to \u201cencourage one another daily \u2026 so that none of you may be hardened by sin\u2019s deceitfulness.\u201d As a dad, I\u2019m tempted to focus only my failings, calcifying into a bitter man. Help us remember that even though we might break something sometimes, we\u2019re also building something. God made us dads to be successes. Perfection and success don\u2019t live on the same block. If you\u2019re trying to be perfect, you\u2019ll be a success, but you won\u2019t be able to realize it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which leads me to my next gift idea.<\/p>\n\n\n

2. Give dad the gift of forgiveness<\/strong>.<\/h3>\n\n\n

I\u2019m wading into deep waters here\u2013your dad might have done terrible things. If that\u2019s the case, I\u2019m not saying to just willy-nilly up and forgive everything\u2014not without a lot of processing, counsel and prayer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But even if your dad is a great guy, chances are he\u2019s got something he regrets doing (or not doing). Something like when I let my daughter slide down a slide all by herself (she was 1), and she ended up in the ER with a cut lip and a scar that might last forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ugh, I was so confident in that moment\u2014the slide was so tiny and I was right there watching, phone in my pocket for a change\u2014and still it happened. I remember all the parents crowding around as her lip gushed blood, offering crumpled napkins and hesitant advice. I could read the accusations in their eyes. Now I realize they were just mirrors reflecting my own shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ephesians 4:32 recommends we \u201cBe kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.\u201d That\u2019s a great verse to apply to a father!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why not try asking your dad if there\u2019s anything in his parenting journey he regrets or would have done differently and process it through with him? Tell him it\u2019s okay, you forgive him. And if you can see the positive side of what happened, like something it taught you, feel free to share that. Lighten dad\u2019s load by letting him know he doesn\u2019t have to carry the weight of that moment with him any longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Get together with your friends and learn the Art of Parenting.<\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div><\/p>\n\n\n

3. Give dad the gift of growth<\/strong>.<\/h3>\n\n\n

Legendary movie dad Tom Callahan left a big impression, even though he only lasted about 12 minutes into the movie. He expressed belief in his son, \u201cTommy Boy,\u201d and dispensed wise advice, including, \u201cIn business, you\u2019re either growing or you\u2019re dying\u2014ain\u2019t no third direction.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That applies pretty well to fatherhood, too. I saw a sign in my gym the other day that read, \u201cYou don\u2019t stop exercising because you get old. You get old because you stop exercising.\u201d Two bumper stickers, one point: As dads, we’re never done learning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dads, what if we judged ourselves according to how we father tomorrow<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m 42, and I cut my own grass for the first time two weeks ago. I was so proud.  It took me two hours\u2014one hour to cut the grass, and when the mower needed refueling, one solid hour trying to figure out how the gas can worked. It feels ludicrous to me to feel pride in doing something that is Dad 101, but I\u2019d learned and grown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a way for every Dad to grow\u2014some part of life he hasn\u2019t yet experienced or conquered. Find him a gift that helps him to see it. Has your dad read your favorite book, seen your go-to movie, or played the game you would totally crush him at? The opportunity to learn is the real gift that keeps on giving\u2014take that, Jelly of the Month Club. Shift your focus from what he has been, done, and liked, to what you dream for him in the future. No more diminishing returns\u2014you\u2019re restarting the process!<\/p>\n\n\n

4. Give dad the gift he doesn<\/strong>\u2019t know he wants.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n

I tried this with my dad once. I saw someone using a \u201cheadlight\u201d\u2014a flashlight you strap to your forehead\u2014and thought, I bet my dad would like one of these! <\/em>So that\u2019s what he got from me for Christmas. When he opened it, he was (pretty obviously) unimpressed. He thanked me, but he looked down at it like, \u201cWhere can I store this piece of junk?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two weeks later, I got a random call from my dad. \u201cGuess what?!\u201d he shouted. \u201cI used the headlight thing!\u201d Ah, sweet vindication. I was so happy. Not only did I give my dad a gift he liked, but I\u2019d been able to give him something he never knew he wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trying out these gifts might flop in the moment, but there\u2019s a strong chance you\u2019re going to get an excited call like I did as your dad realizes, \u201cI really needed that.\u201d The more time you spend with your Dad, the more you\u2019ll be able to choose those surprisingly useful gifts.<\/p>\n\n\n

The hope dads need<\/h2>\n\n\n

Writing amidst the rubble of his broken city, Jeremiah finds the courage to write about the hope dads need: \u201cThe steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22-23). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Us Dads need to know we\u2019re capable of building something in a breakable world, feel grace covering our mistakes, and that tomorrow can be better than today. That\u2019s a father I\u2019d be proud to be. Ditch the \u201cWorld\u2019s Best Dad\u201d mug and get to work on these gifts. Trust a Dad: We\u2019ll love them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Copyright \u00a9 2022 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

<\/em>Andy Allan lives in Lincoln, Nebraska, with his wife, Sara, and three kids, Ellie, Bodie and Asher. You\u2019ll find him biking Lincoln\u2019s trails or watching the latest Fast and Furious movie. Connect with him at andrew.allan@cru.org or on Twitter at @KazBullet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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