{"id":128524,"date":"2022-05-16T16:46:31","date_gmt":"2022-05-16T22:46:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=128524"},"modified":"2022-05-16T16:46:31","modified_gmt":"2022-05-16T22:46:31","slug":"letting-go-of-resentment-toward-a-parent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/life-issues\/relationships\/letting-go-of-resentment-toward-a-parent\/","title":{"rendered":"Letting Go of Resentment Toward a Parent"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Growing up, there was nothing specifically wrong about my home life from the outside looking in. But few people knew my mom struggled with a host of mental and physical issues. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Due to these issues, my mom couldn\u2019t work, and my dad worked two jobs. There wasn\u2019t money left over to hire outside help to pick up the slack of what my mom couldn\u2019t do, so I took on a lot of responsibility at an early age. I would do laundry, clean the house, and cook dinner. Approval was everything to me, and I craved the approval of my parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Growing up with a parent who struggles with mental and physical issues<\/a> changes the atmosphere of the home. You are regularly uneasy, wondering … What is going to go wrong next? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can remember one birthday when I had planned a sleepover. My mom had been sick all day, but she was determined to still have my party (which is an endearing part of this memory). All my friends were at my house, but we eventually had to call the parents to pick up their children. I ended up sleeping over at someone else\u2019s house, because my mom had to go to the hospital. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My mom couldn\u2019t help this incident, but I regularly longed for her to be more resilient. To fight a little harder to be the mom who wasn\u2019t sitting in her pajamas all day. To have the kind of house I didn\u2019t have to take responsibility to clean if I wanted to have friends over without feeling embarrassed. Maybe this seems like I was being too hard on my mom, but this wasn\u2019t a rough couple of months. This was my childhood. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it really wasn\u2019t until college that resentment set in. As someone who struggled with depression, anxiety, and eating disorders throughout high school and college, I couldn\u2019t understand why I had to keep persevering when my mom had basically given up. I tried to discuss this with her at one point, but she shut down the conversation. <\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I struggled for a long time with whether my feelings and resentment were valid, or if I was simply asking more of my mom than she could give. Then I realized knowing the answer to that question was not important. The most important thing was letting go of resentment and offering forgiveness even though it was never sought.<\/p>\n\n\n

Get together with your friends and learn the Art of Parenting.<\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>\n

What the Bible says about forgiveness<\/h2>\n\n\n

I think we often perceive forgiveness as a two-person activity. Someone apologizes and someone forgives. That\u2019s how it works. But the Bible doesn\u2019t present forgiveness this way.<\/p>\n\n\n