{"id":127804,"date":"2022-05-02T08:33:47","date_gmt":"2022-05-02T14:33:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=127804"},"modified":"2022-05-02T08:33:47","modified_gmt":"2022-05-02T14:33:47","slug":"before-the-engagement-announcement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/parenting\/foundations\/before-the-engagement-announcement\/","title":{"rendered":"Before the Engagement Announcement"},"content":{"rendered":"
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As I dropped the engagement announcement at our weekly team meeting, the reactions were not as enthusiastic as I expected. I thought everyone would burst into cheers, but instead, there was hesitancy. I could see them all looking intently at my body language and tone of voice, trying to figure out how I felt about the news before giving their reactions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This response repeated itself dozens of times as I spread the word to friends and family. Over and over, people were cautious. I\u2019d tell them my daughter got engaged, and they\u2019d ask, \u201cHow do you feel about that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While I was surprised, the question is understandable. It\u2019s easy for a parent to see flaws in any person their child is interested in. But sometimes the problems go deeper than mere personality differences and signify a choice in direct conflict with God\u2019s will. Like if your child chooses to marry an unbeliever.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Too often, an engagement announcement is the opening salvo in a long and painful parent\/child conflict. Such moments cause us to question, could we have done something differently? <\/p>\n\n\n

Before the engagement announcement<\/h2>\n\n\n

No parent is perfect<\/a>. We can always think of ways we could have done better. But even if we do everything right, the reality is our children have free will. They can choose to sin, choose to follow God\u2019s path or not, and no amount of \u201cgood\u201d parenting can guarantee any particular outcome. We cannot control who our kids marry, what careers they pick, if they have children, or where they choose to live. But just because we can\u2019t control their choices, it doesn\u2019t mean there aren\u2019t things we can do to help steer them in a godly direction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to maximize the chances your child will choose well, before<\/em> the engagement announcement, here are five things to consider.<\/p>\n\n\n

1. Your marriage is their first model.<\/h3>\n\n\n

Training our children on how to choose a spouse starts much earlier than we might think. For better or worse, our children learn what is and isn\u2019t acceptable in marriage by watching us.<\/p>\n\n\n