{"id":124416,"date":"2022-02-04T10:04:54","date_gmt":"2022-02-04T17:04:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=124416"},"modified":"2022-02-04T10:04:54","modified_gmt":"2022-02-04T17:04:54","slug":"7-healthy-habits-of-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/staying-married\/7-healthy-habits-of-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Healthy Habits of Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"
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None of us need convincing that healthy habits are a good thing to pursue. But if it were easy<\/em> to build and maintain healthy habits across important areas of our lives, then we\u2019d be practically perfect. And not one of us is that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Occasionally, my style of attempting to make healthy habits goes something like: Just do everything better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After spending several hours making goals for 2022, my husband asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s taking so long?\u201d When I told him I made goals for eight key areas of my life, he said, \u201cThat\u2019s too many.\u201d Three weeks into the New Year and I\u2019m starting to agree. Just be better at everything<\/em> doesn\u2019t work very well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Healthy habits of marriage<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

But that doesn\u2019t mean we shouldn\u2019t still make choices, day by day, that lead us toward the things we desire: health, wholeness, connection, intimacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So here are seven healthy habits to put your marriage on the path toward a greater relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Put your phones down, close your computers, turn off the TV.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Like any other addiction, phone addiction<\/a> is the enemy of true connection. You may scoff at the use of the word addiction<\/em>. But chances are, at some point during the day, your eyes and attention are on a screen when your spouse (not to mention kids) wishes they were on them. Make sure your family knows they are more important to you than your screens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Schedule time for connection.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re newly married, this may sound unromantic or unnecessary, but life gets busy. Even if you both work from home and see each other all day, you\u2019ve got to know that does not equal connection<\/em>. Morning coffee together, regular date nights, even 20 minutes of catching up and checking in with each other before you turn on Netflix. Put it on the calendar. Set a reminder (then switch your phone to do not disturb!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Find ways to have fun together.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Laughter and joy are powerful. \u201cA joyful heart is good medicine\u201d (Proverbs 17:22) and medical science<\/a> agrees. Play or listen to music together, exercise, play a game, have a tickle fight\u2014whatever you can both smile about.<\/p>\n\n\n

What could your family do with 500 Hours? Take the challenge.<\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>\n\n\n\n

4. Don\u2019t settle for stagnant.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Stagnancy in marriage is a myth. If you\u2019re not taking steps toward each other, there is  \u201cnatural drift\u201d<\/a> toward isolation in marriage at play. Some seasons leave very little capacity to pursue each other in marriage. Just remember: little steps in each other\u2019s direction add up. Snail-speed progress is better than backward progress any day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Integrate prayer.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Prayer leads to change.<\/a> Not necessarily for your desired outcomes, though He does use our prayers as means to accomplish His will. Prayer changes us<\/em>. Is there a time you can pray together\u2014before bed, in the car, over morning coffee? Or can you link praying for your spouse to something you already do\u2014making coffee, doing dishes, commuting to work? Periodically, let them know how you\u2019re praying for them and ask if there\u2019s anything else for which they\u2019d like prayer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Be respectful.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This is low-hanging fruit that ought to be the bare minimum of healthy habits in marriage. We can go beyond simply avoiding extremely disrespectful behaviors like interrupting, eye rolling, sarcasm, or bad-mouthing. How can you communicate that you see<\/em> your spouse and appreciate them? That you hear<\/em> what they say and take it into account?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is there a certain surface your spouse likes to keep clean? Make a habit of keeping it clean. Does your spouse worry when you\u2019re running late? Shoot them a text to let them know what\u2019s up. Find ways, big and little, to show them consideration and respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Remember your vows.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When I married my husband, I vowed \u201cto do him good and not harm all the days of my life.\u201d In sickness, in poverty, in worse\u2014we vowed to choose to love our spouses. Will we fulfill our vows perfectly?<\/a> Nope. But when I remember the beautiful vision of that kind of love\u2014the love I receive from Jesus\u2014it helps put things in perspective. It reminds me of God\u2019s heart for my spouse: to do them good, to love them unconditionally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it reminds me a vow isn\u2019t something I can do in my own power. I need God\u2019s help to do my spouse good when I am tired, weak, angry, overcome by my own sin of selfishness or pride.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Habits of the Household<\/em>, Justin Whitmel Earley says, \u201cOne of the most significant things about any household is what is considered to be normal. Moments aggregate, and they become memories and tradition. Our routines become who we are, become the story and culture of our families.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You dream, like I do, of healthy marriages and households\u2014or you wouldn\u2019t be here. Healthiness doesn\u2019t just happen. It starts with habits. And habits start, like Anna in Frozen II<\/em> says, by simply doing the next right thing. Which habit will you try first?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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