{"id":111781,"date":"2021-06-10T09:01:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-10T15:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=111781"},"modified":"2025-02-13T13:02:48","modified_gmt":"2025-02-13T18:02:48","slug":"a-christian-home-where-do-i-start","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/parenting\/essentials\/a-christian-home-where-do-i-start\/","title":{"rendered":"A Christian home: Where do I start?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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When it comes to being raised in a Christian home, my friend Anna was far from it. Though her mother grew up Catholic, Anna recalls going to Vacation Bible School once. That was the extent of her religious education. It wasn\u2019t until she was seven months pregnant with her third child that she even searched for religious answers.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod wasn\u2019t a part of our lives or social circle,\u201d Anna told me.<\/p>\n

She discovered she was expecting the day her family moved cross-country, away from the city and family she\u2019d grown up in. Her husband was traveling four days a week, and they\u2019d endured a humiliating conflict with a neighbor. The compounding stress found Anna resorting to old family patterns\u2014like yelling obscenities at her children.<\/p>\n

\u201cSomething needs to change,\u201d her husband told her. He wasn\u2019t leaving her, but she needed to get help either from a counselor or by going to church, which he\u2019d begun attending.<\/p>\n

My friend did both. And after joining a small group, Anna was eventually baptized, sealing her commitment to Christ.<\/p>\n

But now, with three children trailing her, what did it look like to shape a Christian home?<\/p>\n

\u201cI need examples,\u201d Anna told me. \u201cAnd I didn\u2019t have any from my childhood.\u201d<\/p>\n

Maybe you can relate. If you\u2019ve grown up outside of a Christian home, it can be straight-up intimidating to try to raise your children to follow Jesus.<\/a> Time and again, Anna feels like her toolbox for raising Jesus-loving kids runs on the scarce side.<\/p>\n

Truth? I grew up in a Christian home with great examples. And with my own four rowdy kids, I\u2019m still frequently trying to yank this crazy train back on the rails (\u201cNo! \u2018Speaking the truth in love\u2019 does not include the word \u2018stupid\u2019!\u2019\u201d).<\/p>\n

With our oh-so-real families, how do we raise kids who want more of God?<\/p>\n

A Christian home starts inside<\/h2>\n

It’s easy to think developing a Christian home is about checking all the right boxes. But Anna realized a critical principle.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t roll it out to my kids if I\u2019m not experiencing it,\u201d she shrugged. \u201cSo my husband and I started thinking differently. Then doing differently.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her thoughts echo Romans 12:2: \u201cDo not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rather than doing all the right motions (\u201cCome, children! Let us worship the Lord!\u201d), the most foundational transformation starts in a genuine, thrumming relationship with God. Your intimate times of living, breathing prayer. Your confession and heart-tending. And your absorption of God\u2019s Word.<\/p>\n

To be honest, some of my most destructive moments of trying to raise kids who love God are when I\u2019m far from God in my own heart. Maybe I\u2019m seeking my own spiritual \u201cachievement\u201d through my kids or feeling afraid of raising bad kids (and what that says about me). Maybe I\u2019m motivated by shame.<\/p>\n

My kids have a Spidey-sense of what\u2019s hollow, emotionally unhealthy, or even controlling or manipulative. Do I want to convey that the ultimate message of Christianity is \u201ctry harder\u201d?<\/p>\n

So rather than just modifying our (and our kids’) behavior, our first priority is guiding genuine heart change. As Jesus warns the Pharisees, \u201cYou clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean\u201d (Matthew 23:25-26).<\/p>\n

Shaping a Christian home: rhythms to keep the soul of your house<\/h2>\n

Keep in mind creating a Christian home is actually making disciples, as Jesus instructed His own disciples before He left Earth (Matthew 28:19<\/a>). Deuteronomy 6:6-7 puts it this way: \u201cThese words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.\u201d<\/p>\n

So start inviting God in to your everyday. Ready for a few steps to try? Tip: Like a new workout regimen, don\u2019t try to incorporate all these at once. Work up to a healthy pace that works for your own family!)<\/p>\n

Knead Scripture into life<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m not saying wield Scripture like a medieval cudgel to scare your kids into being better. We communicate the loving, life-giving power of the Bible and its power to know us and change us. It\u2019s like a Swiss-army knife for life!<\/p>\n

What could this look like?<\/p>\n