{"id":110149,"date":"2021-04-29T10:15:00","date_gmt":"2021-04-29T16:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=110149"},"modified":"2021-04-29T10:15:00","modified_gmt":"2021-04-29T16:15:00","slug":"dear-stepmom-please-celebrate-mothers-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/holidays\/featured-holidays\/mothers-day\/dear-stepmom-please-celebrate-mothers-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Stepmom, Please Celebrate Mother\u2019s Day"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t celebrate Mother\u2019s Day,\u201d Sherry said. \u201cWhy should I? My stepkids will be with their mom, and I doubt I\u2019ll hear from them. It\u2019s just another day since I don\u2019t have kids of my own. But I must admit the day carries some sadness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sherry and I talked about how she\u2019s been involved in her teenage stepchildren\u2019s lives for years. She\u2019s gone to ballgames, cooked favorite meals, celebrated holidays, attended school activities, listened to hard feelings after boyfriend breakups, and so much more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou play an important role in their lives,\u201d I said. \u201cI wonder if you\u2019ve ever thought you should be honored on Mother\u2019s Day?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, I guess,\u201d she said. \u201cI do a lot for them and I really care about them. But it won\u2019t happen, so I put the thought out of mind.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you ask a group of stepmoms if they celebrate Mother\u2019s Day<\/a>, you\u2019ll get a variety of answers. Some celebrate with their biological kids while their stepkids are with their mom. Some enjoy the day with their stepchildren and feel loved and honored. For many, however\u2014especially those who don\u2019t have children of their own\u2014celebrating the day feels awkward and unjustified.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt just doesn\u2019t feel right to celebrate when I\u2019m not a \u2019real mom,\u2019\u201d Sherry said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, how that comment saddens me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What embodies a \u201creal mom\u201d?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you play an active role as a stepmom, you are a mom and deserve recognition for your efforts. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But that doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019ll get it from your stepchildren. Perhaps they feel it dishonors their mom to show appreciation to you on Mother\u2019s Day. You can\u2019t change that. But you can ask your spouse to honor and acknowledge you on this special day for the role you play with his children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve learned to celebrate Mother\u2019s Day with no expectations<\/a> from my stepchildren. If they offer a gift or choose to honor me in some way, I\u2019m elated. If they don\u2019t, I remind myself of the privilege I\u2019ve been given in shaping another child\u2019s life and affirm myself for what I offer. My husband Randy appreciates the role I play, and we celebrate the day together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It hasn\u2019t always been that way, though. In the early years of our marriage, my feelings were hurt when my stepchildren didn\u2019t meet the expectations I created. They had a mom they dearly loved and rightfully honored her. And Randy didn\u2019t consider that I should be recognized for my mothering efforts with his children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Until one year, in a burst of tears, I told him, \u201cIf I don\u2019t hear from your children on this day, I need you to express appreciation for what I do for them. It doesn\u2019t have to be elaborate\u2014a sincere thank you with a rose or two will do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our guys are not mind readers. Particularly if they\u2019re not a stepdad, they don\u2019t understand the emotional and physical toll we endure at times as a stepmom. Mother\u2019s Day is the one day a year a simple gesture of appreciation from them can mean a lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ways to celebrate Mother\u2019s Day as a stepmom<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A variety of variables play into how a stepchild reacts on Mother\u2019s Day. The length of your marriage, your husband\u2019s support, the age of your stepchildren, the biological mom\u2019s behavior, and the environment in your home are a few things that contribute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your stepchildren honor you, embrace the offering. But if they don\u2019t, make a conscious effort to not take it personally.<\/p>\n\n\n

Receive more encouraging content like this delivered to your inbox!<\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>\n\n\n\n

Here are a few suggestions to help you celebrate Mother\u2019s Day, regardless of what your stepchildren do. Pick one or two or create one of your own to construct a day that leaves you feeling special for the valuable role you offer your stepfamily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Abandon your house and spend the day at a nearby lake, bike path, or hiking trail.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Absorb the beauty of nature while you count your blessings. Set goals with your spouse to help you become more connected in your stepfamily, like regular game nights, stepmom-stepdaughter shopping dates, or movie nights as a family. Pray together for each member of your stepfamily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Find another stepmom who\u2019s having a difficult time and spend the afternoon with her.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Encourage her efforts and talk through her challenges. Laugh together and affirm one another. Commit to offer support on an ongoing basis as you reflect on Scripture to help. Here\u2019s one of my favorites: \u201cAnd let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up\u201d (Galatians 6:9<\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Spend the day with your own mother to celebrate Mother’s Day.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Tell her the special place she carries in your life. Be specific. Continue to make memories together to hold onto after she\u2019s gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4.  Attend your favorite place of worship.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Celebrate Mother\u2019s Day by wearing a beautiful corsage that signifies the important role you play as a stepmom. Take pride in being part of your stepchildren\u2019s lives as an additional parent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5.  Give yourself the gift of relaxation.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Kick back with a good book, time at the movies, or a day at the spa with a girlfriend. Eat at your favorite restaurant and tell your family you\u2019ll be taking the day off from chores. Turn up the praise and worship music and connect with Jesus. Pamper yourself in whatever way feels special to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mother\u2019s Day doesn\u2019t have to be a difficult day for stepmoms. Create your own special day and make memories that leave you feeling blessed to be a stepmom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Go ahead\u2014plan your celebration! You deserve it, sweet stepmom. Happy Mother\u2019s Day!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Copyright \u00a9 2021 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gayla Grace serves on staff with FamilyLife Blended\u00ae and is passionate about equipping blended families as a writer and a speaker. She holds a master\u2019s degree in Psychology and Counseling and is the author of Stepparenting With Grace: A Devotional for Blended Families <\/em>and co-author of Quiet Moments for the Stepmom Soul<\/em>. Gayla and her husband, Randy, have been married since 1995 in a \u201chis, hers, and ours\u201d family. She is the mom to three young adult children and stepmom to two.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This day doesn\u2019t have to be difficult for stepmoms. Celebrate Mother\u2019s Day by making memories that leave you feeling blessed. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":349,"featured_media":110212,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"This day doesn\u2019t have to be difficult for stepmoms. 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