{"id":107746,"date":"2021-03-25T14:31:00","date_gmt":"2021-03-25T20:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=107746"},"modified":"2025-01-08T15:35:57","modified_gmt":"2025-01-08T20:35:57","slug":"6-things-to-do-with-teenagers-to-love-them-well","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/parenting\/ages-and-stages\/teens\/6-things-to-do-with-teenagers-to-love-them-well\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Things To Do With Teenagers To Love Them Well"},"content":{"rendered":"
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It\u2019s funny how much time I now spend thinking of things to do with teenagers. When I first joined the motherhood, the idea of raising teens terrified me. I pictured it similar to snuggling an irate grizzly (while screaming, \u201cLet me love you!\u201d). Parent after parent reminded me to \u201chold on to these moments\u201d while my children were small. Because the teen years were coming\u2014in all their eye-rolling glory.<\/p>\n

Now that I\u2019m raising a teen daughter (my son is mere months from getting his \u201ctween\u201d card), I\u2019m just gonna say it: Raising teens isn\u2019t so bad.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a better teen\/older kid parent than I was a baby mom. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I loved all the snuggles, coos, and lack of back talk. Maybe it\u2019s a combination of me being older, having more sleep, and the fact that my kids are now semi-independent, but life feels a bit easier now. Not to mention the deep conversations, jokes that actually make sense, and the budding friendship that can come with our kids getting older.<\/p>\n

Psalm 127 tells us children are \u201ca heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward\u201d (verse 3<\/a>). And if you look closely at your teens as they grow closer to adulthood (you may have to look harder some days), you might catch a glimpse of just how big a reward you\u2019ve received.<\/p>\n

But maybe this hasn\u2019t been your experience. One of the best moms I know has a challenging relationship with her teen son. Yet even in the face of slammed doors and disrespected boundaries, she presses in. If your relationship with your teen has felt plagued with hardship, I urge you, too, to keep pressing in. And if they aren\u2019t receptive to anything else, pray. (Here are 5 Prayers for Prodigals<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

6 things to do with teenagers<\/h2>\n

Despite my worst fears of parenting teens being (mostly) incorrect, knowing what to do with teenagers to tighten that bond isn\u2019t always easy. When my teen was younger, a quick dance party, 20 minutes of playing Barbies, or a snow cone were all it took to make me the hero. Now, my dance moves garner eye rolls and Barbies haven\u2019t graced our living room floor in years. (Snow cones are a still win.)<\/p>\n

But what do you do with teenagers to truly connect?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve asked this question a lot lately. So I\u2019ll offer tips of things to do with teenagers from other teen parents and a few of my own. And don\u2019t worry \u2026 some things might feel a bit unnatural at first (like giving them space \u2026 that\u2019s a struggle for me). Our relationships are bound to look different as they grow. But the benefits of being closer to your teen far outweigh any awkward moments (like my dance moves\u2014anyone else do the \u201cCarlton\u201d when their kids walk in the room?).<\/p>\n

So here we go \u2026<\/p>\n

1. Make room in your calendar just for them.<\/h3>\n

As a work-from-home parent, I\u2019m often present<\/em> \u2026 but not. My daughter might be doing homework a few feet away while I\u2019m on Zoom with co-workers. And that\u2019s OK. The whole work\/home balance looks a lot different these days. Don\u2019t beat yourself up over it. (Though we do, right? All. The. Time.)<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve started \u201cpenciling\u201d my kids into the daily\/monthly calendar. When my daughter is doing virtual school and I\u2019m working, we take breaks together to talk or play a board game. She sends me movies she wants to see so I can plan a date for the two of us around the rest of the family\u2019s events.<\/p>\n

Crazy schedules don\u2019t always let us live spontaneously, but the chalkboard calendar by the door helps keep my priorities straight.<\/p>\n

2. Get to know them (again).<\/h3>\n

Thanks to a too-tired-to-cook night that led to the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru, dinnertime convos got a little easier. The little pack of family questions in my son\u2019s kids\u2019 meal has led us through both silly and serious discussions. And started a bit of a tradition.<\/p>\n

My teen, too, loves conversation starters\u2014whether it\u2019s for the whole family or just the two of us. And her answers have led to future vacation plans, goal-setting, and even some heart-to-heart talks where this mama had to humble herself a bit. Like the time my daughter let me know her frustration when I keep joking when she is totally not in the mood (that\u2019s a fair assessment). And I\u2019m sure that falls under \u201cdo not aggravate your children\u201d (Colossians 3:21, NLT<\/a>).<\/p>\n

Pinterest<\/a> is filled conversation starters for teens, but here are some to get you started:<\/p>\n