{"id":106123,"date":"2021-02-22T12:30:00","date_gmt":"2021-02-22T19:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=106123"},"modified":"2021-02-22T12:30:00","modified_gmt":"2021-02-22T19:30:00","slug":"is-he-marriage-material-6-qualities-that-tell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/blended-family\/remarriage\/dating-and-preparing-for-marriage\/is-he-marriage-material-6-qualities-that-tell\/","title":{"rendered":"Is He Marriage Material? 6 Qualities That Tell"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

What makes a man marriage material?<\/p>\n

The latest rom-com might say, \u201cThat\u2019s easy! A man is marriage material if he loves you for who you are and treats you right. He should also be your best friend and the dreamiest guy you\u2019ve ever seen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Regardless of your favorite chick flick\u2019s wisdom, this is only partly good advice. Yes, he should love you and be a great friend, but there\u2019s much more to consider.<\/p>\n

You might have come to this article because you suspect you\u2019ve been looking for the wrong things. Now you\u2019re curious how you can fine-tune your search. Or maybe you\u2019re entering the dating scene and want to start off right. You\u2019re trying to avoid pitfalls on the front end.<\/p>\n

In my own dating life, I\u2019ve had ample time to pray for and dialogue with others about what kind of man is marriage material. I\u2019m thankful for their influence on my idea of what makes a man worth dating and, eventually, marrying.<\/p>\n

Marriage Material Qualities<\/h2>\n

Amidst my iPhone notes you\u2019ll find a list titled, \u201cWhat I\u2019m looking for in a husband.\u201d Over the years, I\u2019ve crossed off once-significant items\u2014blonde, similarly educated, California-bred\u2014and honed in on nonnegotiables. Some are personality-based, but the core revolves around his Christ-like character.<\/p>\n

For those asking \u201cWhat makes a man marriage material?\u201d I\u2019d like to share my core list with you. If you\u2019re already dating someone, see if this list describes him. And if you\u2019re in a season of singleness,<\/a> let this list shape your prayers in moments of longing, loneliness, and hope. Don\u2019t be afraid to pray specifically and consistently. God isn\u2019t our genie, but when it\u2019s His will He enjoys answering specific prayers. The beauty in asking specifically is noticing God\u2019s attention to detail when He answers.<\/p>\n

I hope these core \u201cmarriage material\u201d qualities help guide your search.<\/p>\n

1. Marriage material men devote themselves to God.<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m not talking about someone with \u201cChristian education, never skipped a Sunday, and grew up in a Christian home\u201d written on his resume. I\u2019m here for the heart, not the credentials.<\/p>\n

Based on your conversations and observations, does he believe in the supremacy of Scripture and sift everything through its truth? Is attending and serving a local church a priority? How about choosing godly male friends?<\/p>\n

Most importantly, look for whether he bears fruit<\/a> from deep devotion to Christ. Prioritizing this quality will set a strong foundation for your relationship.<\/p>\n

2. Marriage material men are quick to laugh.<\/h3>\n

There\u2019s something to say about personality here, but I\u2019m a firm believer in the health that laughter allots. I\u2019ve found in most of my relationships, we\u2019re happiest when laughing together.<\/p>\n

A light heart that isn\u2019t easily offended, who can laugh at the situation without letting it unnerve him\u2014now that\u2019s attractive! Look for a man who\u2019s quick to laugh and laughs much.<\/p>\n

It also matters what he laughs at. As Ephesians 5:4 tells us, \u201cfoolish talk [and] crude joking\u201d shouldn\u2019t be characteristic of Christ-followers. Sadly, many \u201cChristian\u201d men color their jokes with mockery and sexual innuendo, justifying them when ladies aren\u2019t present, and sometimes when they are. I hope to find a man who has a great sense of humor yet resists the degrading and crude variety.<\/p>\n

3. Marriage material men are humble.<\/h3>\n

On a recent flight, I jotted in my nonnegotiables list: Someone who\u2019s humble\u2014who doesn\u2019t think they\u2019re always right and shows interest in what I think.<\/em><\/p>\n

Humility looks like interpreting a superior\u2019s criticism as an opportunity to grow. Or it looks like not throwing a hissy fit when someone forgets to give you credit. Humility looks like letting Jesus mercifully put you in your place.<\/p>\n

No one receives straight A\u2019s in this, but marriage material men possess teachable spirits and look to put others first.<\/p>\n

Find more like this in our online course just for blended marriages!<\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>\n

4. Marriage material men love and respect family.<\/h3>\n

Even if you\u2019ve never observed him around his family, you can quickly detect his attitude toward them. Anyone stalking my social media photos can quickly pick up on my family\u2019s closeness.<\/p>\n

Of course, it isn\u2019t fair to expect his family dynamics to match yours (and maybe that\u2019s not something you want!) It\u2019s actually not the family structure that matters\u2014though it\u2019s undoubtedly part of the package.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what does: Does he love his own family, despite their faults? Does he respect your<\/em> family? Does he want a family of his own? Since God takes honoring our \u201cmother and father\u201d seriously, you and I should as well (Exodus 20:12<\/a>).<\/p>\n

5. Marriage material men are secure in their identity.<\/h3>\n

Identity has two arms: worth and self-esteem.<\/p>\n

If I place my worth in being a good writer, for instance, that\u2019s where I\u2019ve placed my identity. Career, good looks, and special talents are effortless snares to our worth.  I want to marry someone who knows and fights to remember his worth is in Christ.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to see what we\u2019ve put our worth in when the object of it disappoints us. If his talent or appearance failed him, would he crumple or would his sure footing in the Lord steady him?<\/p>\n

Pay attention, also, to his self-esteem. I pray for a man who\u2019s confident in his physical, mental, and emotional giftings. If he\u2019s secure in how God formed him, he\u2019ll be more likely to affirm it in me and our potential children down the line.<\/p>\n

But what does \u201cplacing your identity in Christ\u201d really mean? Here\u2019s a helpful article<\/a> with more insight.<\/p>\n

6. Marriage material men are capable.<\/h3>\n

Of course, girls should be raised to be capable, too. I\u2019m thankful I was taught to handle my money, mow my lawn, pay my bills \u2026 However, if I\u2019m choosing to knit myself to a man for the rest of my life, he needs to be capable and willing to lend a hand.<\/p>\n

Most importantly, I need him to have an unshakable work ethic. I need him to be a wise spender and saver and a generous tither. I need him to be capable of taking care of a home or a car (or at least know where to go for help). I need him to take ownership in protecting me.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s on Your List?<\/h2>\n

While I believe this is a central list for Christian women, why not think through your own nonnegotiables? Jot down a number of qualities you feel your personality and values require. Remember to think character<\/em> more than appearance<\/em>.<\/p>\n

As your mind starts to fill with expectations, don\u2019t forget to set high standards for yourself, too. It\u2019s equally important to become the \u201cmarriage material\u201d woman such a man would marry. Let these qualities shape your prayers for your own refinement, as well as your future husband\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\n

Copyright \u00a9 2021 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n

Lauren Miller serves on staff with FamilyLife as a writer in Orlando, Florida, though she\u2019ll always be a California girl. She graduated from Biola University and the Torrey Honors College where the Lord first planted in her a love for family and marriage ministry. As a single, she loves serving the youth at her church, taking long walks, and reading a good book in her free time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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