{"id":105348,"date":"2021-01-28T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-28T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=105348"},"modified":"2021-01-28T09:00:00","modified_gmt":"2021-01-28T16:00:00","slug":"10-ideas-to-give-your-marriage-a-fresh-start","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/staying-married\/10-ideas-to-give-your-marriage-a-fresh-start\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Ideas To Give Your Marriage a Fresh Start"},"content":{"rendered":"
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The idea of a fresh start might make some of us snort. Maybe this past year has felt stuck on replay of a song you didn\u2019t like in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All of us encounter days where we\u2019re thinking, If he throws his socks <\/em>beside the hamper one more time, I am going to tell him exactly where he should put them.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or, Can you really have a headache for the fifth night this week? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or maybe the slumps are longer: that season when you\u2019re drowning in sippy cups and Big Bird, and when the kids\u2019 primary caregiver gets horizontal, it\u2019s only to immediately hit a much-needed REM cycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It could be that season when work and schedules and teenager issues mean most of your conversations last about six minutes, four of which are about logistics and who\u2019s picking up whom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But as C.S. Lewis wrote, \u201cFaith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You could say marriage is a form of faith\u2014even more in God than in your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A fresh start: 10 ideas<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

What the following suggestions aren\u2019t: a cure-all for deeper issues. Glossing over deep-seated problems is the equivalent of slapping on a Band-Aid to a gushing wound. (Try Happily Married? A 10-step Relationship Assessment<\/a> if you\u2019re concerned about deeper issues.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While these are healthy tips for any relationship, attempting a fresh start amidst deep problems can delay healing and create unrealistic expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these are: ideas for when fondness is waning, and you simply want to move toward your spouse rather than away. You want to kindle the romance a bit\u2014and the affections that grease the wheels of everyday relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you might be wondering why some of these ideas aren\u2019t easier\u2014because perhaps you\u2019re straight-up exhausted from trying to make things work. Despite what the world may tell you, a fresh start that lasts <\/em>usually involves more than a few romantic moments. It involves more than a gift certificate, a massage, a night away from the kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re wading through a down season? These hope-filled suggestions are for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. First things first.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

A fresh start in our marriages requires a fresh start within us; a realigning to how God loves us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Paul David Tripp explains \u201crelationships are first fixed vertically before they are ever fixed horizontally.\u201d Tripp continues, \u201cIn my marriage … my problem isn\u2019t first that I have failed to love [my wife] Louella in the way that I should. No, my deeper problem is that I have not loved God as I should.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jesus said the second commandment\u2014to love one\u2019s neighbor as oneself\u2014is like the first: <\/em>to love God with all that we are (see Mark 12:28-34<\/a>). James made a similar connection: \u201cWith [the tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God … My brothers, these things ought not to be so\u201d (James 3:9-10).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marital closeness and harmony are outworkings of how God\u2019s loved us. And He went so far as to lay down His life for us, pursuing us when enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chew on questions like these:<\/p>\n\n\n\n