{"id":104145,"date":"2020-12-09T08:52:53","date_gmt":"2020-12-09T15:52:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/?p=104145"},"modified":"2020-12-09T08:52:53","modified_gmt":"2020-12-09T15:52:53","slug":"christmas-dos-and-donts-for-mothers-and-daughters-in-law","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/holidays\/featured-holidays\/christmas\/christmas-dos-and-donts-for-mothers-and-daughters-in-law\/","title":{"rendered":"Christmas Do\u2019s and Don\u2019ts for Mothers- and Daughters-in-Law"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\" fetchpriority=\"high\"><\/div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As Christmas approaches, are the words \u201cpeace on earth\u201d more than a phrase? Do they describe your home, your neighborhood \u2026 the interactions you have with your mother- or daughter-in-law?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I asked friends and family how mothers- and daughters-in law could deepen their relationships during the hectic Christmas season. How could their mutual celebrations be marked with the peace and grace of the Christ Child?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Many of these women already have rich relationships with one another. But others do not. And what exactly is \u201cpeace\u201d between generations of women anyway?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My friend Cindy said \u201cpeace\u201d with her daughter-in-law at Christmastime is \u201cto sit and talk and share and connect in person.\u201d And Liz says it\u2019s important to go into the holidays having a heart of service. Thinking, \u201cWhat can I do for you?\u201d and not, \u201cWhat you can you do for me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here are some helpful holiday do\u2019s and don\u2019ts for mothers- and daughters-in-laws. Carefully consider the \u201cdon\u2019ts.\u201d And then choose some of the do\u2019s that meet the unique needs of your family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 style=\"font-size: 30px;margin-bottom:15px;line-height:1.1em\" class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-don-t\"><strong>Don\u2019t:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 ignore Who Christmas is about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 personalize choices that differ from your desires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 give unsolicited advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 demean your mother- or daughter-in-law, especially in front of the grandkids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 assume a role that is not yours to have. For example, don\u2019t take authority that belongs to parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 have a \u201csomeone owes me\u201d attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 enter the holidays presuming what you want for a family Christmas gathering is what everyone else in the family wants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 intrude on your in-laws\u2019 plans\u2014whether a daughter- or mother-in-law.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 clean your mother- or daughter-in-law\u2019s kitchen or home without her permission.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"fl-article-cta\"><div class=\"fl-article-cta-wrapper\"><a class='fl-article-cta-button' style='margin-top: 15px; visibility: visible; background-color: #f3bd48 !important;' target='_blank' href='https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/content-offers\/holiday-survival-guide\/' data-color-override='false' data-hover-color-override='false' data-hover-text-color-override='#fff'><span>Find holiday encouragement for you and your family in our <em>Holiday Survival Guide.<\/em><i class='fa fas fa-book-open'><\/i><\/span> <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 style=\"font-size: 30px;margin-bottom:15px;line-height:1.1em\" class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-do\"><strong>Do:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 focus on your relationship with the Babe of Christmas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 let go of expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 leave room for spontaneity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 have a cookie exchange with mothers, daughters, mother-in-laws, and daughter-in-laws. Include a long-distance mother- or daughter-in-law in the fun via Facebook or other virtual means.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 ask what your mother- or daughter-in-law wants for a Christmas gift.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 simplify gift-giving for all by drawing names for holiday gifts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 begin some new family traditions with your daughter- or mother-in-law such as spending a day together Christmas shopping.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 take time to share a cup of hot coffee or tea and talk about holiday expectations. (Mail special teas or coffees to out of town in-laws.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 ask, \u201cHow can I help?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 include a multi-generational family photo in your holidays plans. Give advance notice of when and where it will be taken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 participate in a service project together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 share encouraging Bible verses via email or text during December. Choose ones that bring you God\u2019s peace and remind you of the true meaning of the season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 ask your mother- or daughter-in-law, \u201cWhat Christmas traditions matter to you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 teach a favorite holiday recipe to each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 talk or text about Christmas celebrations you enjoyed as children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 lend a hand with Christmas meal preparations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 communicate and encourage honesty in what people want to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 if your mother- or daughter-in-law has a favorite beverage (i.e., peppermint tea, Dr. Pepper, coffee with real cream, etc.), be sure and offer it to her when you get together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 on the day of your family Christmas celebration, bring out toys that were past presents from in-laws. Or, pull out an old toy from the attic that was once a favorite of a now grown son.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 include a few simple recipes for the family holiday meal. Doing this will make it easy for others to help with meal preparations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 for out-of-town in-laws, put a welcome sign in front of your house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 arrange for a special area where kids could play, color, do crafts, etc \u2026 to help mother- and daughter-in-laws truly visit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 save some small tasks for someone who asks how they can help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 look at photo albums together during the family Christmas gathering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 make time to tell family stories. How did your daughter-in-law celebrate Christmas as a child? What did your mother-in-law do to make Christmas special for her son?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026 generously give grace (undeserved kindness) to one another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My friend Cindy and her long-distance daughter-in-law often text throughout the year. \u201cBut at Christmas,\u201d she says, \u201cwe can be face to face. \u2026 We share spiritual things of encouragement, prayer requests, and just simple chit chat.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In essence, they experience true peace. The peace offered by the Christ Child\u2014the One Christmas is all about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u00a9 2020 by Mary May Larmoyeux. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Adapted with permission from <em>One-of-a-Kind Grandparent Connection<\/em> by Mary May Larmoyeux. \u00a9 2019. Used with Permission.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Does &#8220;peace on earth&#8221; describe your relationship with your mother- or daughter-in-law? Here are some tips to keep the peace this Christmas.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":349,"featured_media":104273,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"Does &quot;peace on earth&quot; describe your relationship with your mother- or daughter-in-law? 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