{"id":318548,"date":"2026-08-14T05:55:17","date_gmt":"2026-08-14T09:55:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/stop-overthinking-family-discipleship-barrett-jenifer-johnson\/"},"modified":"2026-08-14T05:55:18","modified_gmt":"2026-08-14T09:55:18","slug":"stop-overthinking-family-discipleship-barrett-jenifer-johnson","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/stop-overthinking-family-discipleship-barrett-jenifer-johnson\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Overthinking Family Discipleship: Barrett &#038; Jenifer Johnson"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Real family discipleship doesn&#8217;t happen because you nailed another family devotional. It happens in the middle of apologies, hard conversations, ordinary Tuesdays, and parents who keep showing up. Barrett and Jennifer Johnson join Dave and Ann Wilson to share a practical model for helping kids follow Jesus in real life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Barrett and Jennifer Johnson join Dave and Ann Wilson on FamilyLife Today to make family discipleship practical, honest, and doable.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":295627,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_seopress_news_disabled":"","_seopress_video_disabled":"","_seopress_video":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas_manual":[],"_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable_all":"","_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas":[],"inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/ed498927-850d-439d-95d1-b49701123889\/audio.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:55","filesize":"22.85M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2833,2806],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[11541],"cwp_profile":[9466],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-318548","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-godly-legacy","category-spiritual-development","podcast_series-stop-overthinking-family-discipleship-barrett-jenifer-johnson","cwp_profile-barrett-and-jenifer-johnson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Cover_1024x1024.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/318548\/stop-overthinking-family-discipleship-barrett-jenifer-johnson","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/318548\/stop-overthinking-family-discipleship-barrett-jenifer-johnson","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"p03idOuYuJ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/stop-overthinking-family-discipleship-barrett-jenifer-johnson\/\">Stop Overthinking Family Discipleship: Barrett &#038; Jenifer Johnson<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/stop-overthinking-family-discipleship-barrett-jenifer-johnson\/embed\/#?secret=p03idOuYuJ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Stop Overthinking Family Discipleship: Barrett &#038; Jenifer Johnson&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"p03idOuYuJ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! 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While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nStop Overthinking Family Discipleship: Barrett &amp;amp; Jenifer Johnson\r\n\r\nGuests:Barrett and Jenifer Johnson\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Stop Overthinking Family Discipleship: Barrett &amp;amp; Jenifer Johnson (Day 2 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:August 14, 2026\r\n\r\nBarrett (00:04):\r\n\r\nYou've got a short amount of time to connect with the hearts of your children and teenagers, even your young adult kids. And it feels like\u2014what do they say\u2014the days are\u2014\r\n\r\nJenifer (00:13):\r\n\r\nDays are long and the years are short.\r\n\r\nBarrett (00:13):\r\n\r\nDays are long but the years are short. Don't waste your time to connect with your kids. All the influence, all the teaching, all the modeling, all the things that Jesus did, He did it to the context of relationship. Whatever it takes, connect with the hearts of your kids.\r\n\r\nAnn (00:35):\r\n\r\nWelcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.\r\n\r\nDave (00:42):\r\n\r\nAnd I'm Dave Wilson and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nAnn (00:55):\r\n\r\nSo we're going to talk about discipling our kids today. That always feels overwhelming. It used to feel overwhelming when I heard that topic come up because I felt like, \u201cUgh, are we doing this well?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (01:07):\r\n\r\nAnd how do we do it? And do we do it right? So today we're going to find out from Barrett and Jenifer Johnson how to do it well. So let's go. \r\n\r\nOkay, so if we're going to disciple like Jesus, where do we start?\r\n\r\nBarrett (01:22):\r\n\r\nWell, so let me talk about the model we created that God\u2014again, I don't think I created it. I just\u2014\r\n\r\nDave (01:26):\r\n\r\nIt's a little house.\r\n\r\nBarrett (01:27):\r\n\r\nI looked at the example of Jesus. I said, what did Jesus do with the 12? What made Him so effective? And what can a parent learn from that? And so I built it like a little house. It's a foundation and three pillars and a little roof on top. And the foundations, it's abiding. It's that walk with Jesus, stay close to the Spirit, stay close to God. \r\n\r\nAnn (01:44):\r\n\r\nIt's everything.\r\n\r\nBarrett (01:44):\r\n\r\nIt's everything. John 55\u2014\r\n\r\nDave (01:45):\r\n\r\nSo it's a parent abiding.\r\n\r\nBarrett (01:46):\r\n\r\nParent abiding. Let's look at Jesus example. He was close to his heavenly Father. And we can debate and talk theological all day long. Well, Jesus was God. Okay, sure. But Jesus as a human for His ministry time, we see in Scriptures, He pulled away time and time again to be alone with God, to make sure He was dialed in. That sense of, I need to be alone with God and hear from Him. And if you don't do that, we're missing completely. Jesus said, \u201cApart from me, you can do nothing.\u201d And I think that foundation of abiding in Christ, a mom and dad who are committed to saying, \u201cGod, I want to draw close to You. I want to hear from You. I want to be in touch with what your desires are for each of my kids,\u201d if we don't do that, then we're operating out of the flesh.\r\n\r\n(02:28):\r\n\r\nWe can do nothing. We're doing our best guess at what the right thing to do is, as opposed to hearing from the God who knows the hearts of our children better than we would ever know the hearts of our children.\r\n\r\nDave (02:38):\r\n\r\nAll right. Before you even go to the pillars, what's abiding look like for you guys?\r\n\r\nBarrett (02:43):\r\n\r\nI think it's just walking with God, being in the Word, of singing quietly and saying, \"I want to listen to God's voice,\u201d and say, \u201cGod, what do you want to tell me, and show me?\u201d So it's quiet time. It's times of meditation.\r\n\r\nDave (02:53):\r\n\r\nYou do that together, you do that separate, you do both?\r\n\r\nBarrett (02:55):\r\n\r\nIt's more separate.\r\n\r\nJenifer (02:56):\r\n\r\nIt's mostly separate because Barrett would always go to work. \r\n\r\nBarrett (02:59):\r\n\r\nAnd even in recent days where I'm working from home a lot more, our rhythms of life seems a little different. And so again, I think it's alone time more. We sharpen one another, but I don't want to know exclusively what's God telling us to do, Jenifer. And Jenifer doesn't hear that neither from me. I need to have a sense of what God's telling me as the husband and father and leader of a home, whatever to do. And God needs to tell Jenifer. And so we put our heads together. We come up with what's God's leading us and where He wants us to go.\r\n\r\nAnn (03:25):\r\n\r\nI think this is so important too, because as a parent, when Jesus is talking about, if you abide in me, you'll bear much fruit. And so even when I think about the fruit, think about this as a parent, love. Am I loving my kids? Joy. Love, joy, peace and patience\u2014just those four, changes everything as a parent.\r\n\r\nJenifer (03:41):\r\n\r\nCan't go any further than that.\r\n\r\nAnn (03:43):\r\n\r\nAnd if we don't abide, we display the opposite of those. Frustration, anger, all of that. And so I love that you started with that abiding.\r\n\r\nBarrett (03:52):\r\n\r\nWell, it's because Jesus started with it. And again, I think, remember moms and dads. This model is not \u201cHey, follow Barrett and Jenifer. They've got it figured out.\u201d We don't have it. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nPlease don't. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nNo, we don't.\r\n\r\nJenifer (04:01):\r\n\r\nPlease don't.\r\n\r\nBarrett (04:02):\r\n\r\nBut we look to the example of Jesus. I mean, I can confess and anybody who knows my parenting style for the last 30 years\u2014my closest friends, my bride, my children\u2014we can make a long list of the failings of Barrett Johnson as a father.\r\n\r\nJenifer (04:13):\r\n\r\nAnd even as adults, our kids have told us the mistakes that we've made. \r\n\r\nBarrett (04:17):\r\n\r\nAnd we own that. We want to own that.\r\n\r\nJenifer (04:18):\r\n\r\nAnd it hurts but we want to own it.\r\n\r\nBarrett (04:19):\r\n\r\nBut we also want to walk in grace and say, \u201cBut there's a better way. Let's look at Jesus.\u201d So there's that foundation of abiding.\r\n\r\nDave (04:24):\r\n\r\nHey, couple questions. I don't know which one to ask first because the second one came to me when you just said that. Your adult kids have told you because ours have too. And all you young parents, guess what? It's coming. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nYeah. Yeah. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nEven if you did a great, great job. As they become adults, there's going to be things they're going to bring up that hurt them or let them down. \r\n\r\nAnn:\r\n\r\nBut receive it. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nYes. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nAnd don't get defensive. So you've been there. But when you said Jesus lived this, I thought, well, Jesus wasn't married. So when your spouse isn't abiding in a way you wanted or hoped for or just maybe they're just, they don't want to\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn (05:05):\r\n\r\nAnd maybe they're not a believer.\r\n\r\nDave (05:06):\r\n\r\n\u2014talk to that couple. What do you do when you feel like it's just you?\r\n\r\nBarrett (05:11):\r\n\r\nI feel like sometimes the partner who's walking with God and maybe senses their partner is not, that person has a tendency sometimes to become preachy and\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn:\r\n\r\nYeah, judgmental. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\n\u2014judgmental. \r\n\r\nJenifer (05:22):\r\n\r\nAnd naggy.\r\n\r\nBarrett (05:23):\r\n\r\nAnd if only\u2014naggy. It's great. \r\n\r\nJenifer (05:24):\r\n\r\nNaggy, is that a word?\r\n\r\nBarrett (05:25):\r\n\r\nFor a mom who says, \"I wish my husband would lead better,\" there's certainly examples of a husband who's being spiritually deficient in a severe way and that wife needs to prayerfully, tenderly, gently nudge and God and pray for and all those things. But yeah, no, I don't think any spouse ever nagged their partner towards godliness. It's never happened. And I've heard many, many stories of spouses saying, \"All he does, the only times he brings up scripture is when he's mad at me and trying to correct me.\" And nobody receives that. So again, I think it's a patient, prove the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, all those things, long suffering. Those come out of patiently saying, \"I'm going to be diligent to do the right thing. And I hope and pray my spouse, my partner sees my example.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (06:12):\r\n\r\nWell, I remember when we had three boys, all married now with seven grandkids, but when they were little boys, Ann's picture of me leading spiritually was a family, what do we call it? Family altar. \r\n\r\nJenifer (06:27):\r\n\r\nFamily devotions.\r\n\r\nDave (06:29):\r\n\r\nOnce a week, we're all going to come together. And at one point she said, \"The sermon you gave this morning at church, why don't you just do it tonight with the boys?\" \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nOh my goodness. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nAnd that was not my vision. It was not the way I was thinking of doing. And I think what she really wanted was Dennis Rainey. She wanted me to be Dennis. And I heard that a few times too. Back then, Dennis was our sort of role model, but I saw it differently and I saw it. I even learned this in seminary, believe it or not, the Hebrew model versus the Greek model of teaching where the Greek model is sort of education system like, you're going to read this book and in five weeks we're going to have final and you're going to have to remember everything that's in that book. And the Hebrew model was apprenticeship.\r\n\r\n(07:10):\r\n\r\nIt was walk along the road. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nLiving life together. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nAnd so I was always thinking, I'm going to teach them along the road even as they became teenagers when they have issues that they're wondering about, what a moment to teach rather than, hey, Sunday night\u2014 \r\n\r\nJenifer (07:25):\r\n\r\nIt is as you walk along the way.\r\n\r\nDave (07:26):\r\n\r\n\u2014but we had conversations about that where we had to adjust to one another, right? \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nYes.\r\n\r\nAnn (07:31):\r\n\r\nI was just wanting anything. And you did, but you're right. I had a picture of how it should be right and my picture was intimidating for Dave. He never saw it done and it's not who he is. So to say, \"That's not my guy I don't want, but I didn't marry the pastor. I married this man and God put me with him and he gave us these children because my husband has something to offer them.\" \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nRight; exactly.\r\n\r\nDave (07:57):\r\n\r\nAnd I do think, before we go onto the next pillar, that abiding foundation, if you're not doing that, you don't have power. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nNothing. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nYou have your own strength and it's worthless in a sense. \r\n\r\nBarrett (08:11):\r\n\r\nIt'd be like this microphone, which is a probably high-quality product. The tools are all there, but it's not plugged into anything that's going to make it work.\r\n\r\nDave (08:17):\r\n\r\nYeah. You don't have the power to be the husband, to be the mom that they need. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nOoh, Jen, talk about this.\r\n\r\nJenifer (08:21):\r\n\r\nThe other thing that I will add to that, and I wonder if it's what you're going to say. I went to a book y'all that was this thick and had, I remember the binder was those rings and I was going to sit down and do that with my kids and God said no. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nOh, the big discipleship manual. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nIt was a big discipleship manual that everyone was using and that is when I started an in-home Bible study with new moms from my church in Texas\u2014shout out to all those precious ladies\u2014and my kids were in the house listening to everything I said. I wasn't like, \"Let's get out this big old spiral notebook that everyone else I know is doing.\" God said, \u201cLive it and live it in front of them.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave (09:02):\r\n\r\nIs this a pillar modeling?\r\n\r\nBarrett (09:03):\r\n\r\nWell, let's do this. So yeah, we have a foundation of walking with God, abiding and then I think teaching what Jesus did with the disciples to teach for life transformation, not for knowledge like the Greek models, but for life transformation. There are kind of three pillars to this process and that's what we created in this model for parents to embrace. And it's modeling, teaching and then applying. Those are three things that Jesus did. And so the modeling is the first one. We have to give our kids a picture of what it looks like to walk with God and that's the most humbling, challenging thing in the world.\r\n\r\nJenifer (09:34):\r\n\r\nThat's where we have messed up.\r\n\r\nAnn (09:37):\r\n\r\nBut every parent does. As long as there's repentance with it\u2014\r\n\r\nJenifer (09:40):\r\n\r\nAnd I have said, I'm sorry, five million times raising children.\r\n\r\nAnn:\r\n\r\nMe too.\r\n\r\nBarrett (09:44):\r\n\r\nAnd that's modeling.\r\n\r\nJenifer (09:45):\r\n\r\nI mean, just\u2014\r\n\r\nBarrett (09:45):\r\n\r\nBut it is that thing that convicts us of, kids, if you want to know how to walk with God, watch how I walk with God. You want how to study your Bible, watch how I study my Bible. You want how to pray, watch how I do it. It's that modeling element. Jesus did that. He said, \"Hey, do what I do. Watch what I do and live life the way I do it in the kingdom.\"\r\n\r\nJenifer (10:03):\r\n\r\nThat's probably the most scary pillar because I would look at my kids and say, \"I am so sorry. I have been a three-headed mommy moment today.\" I mean, this was my three-headed mommy moment. I said that to them.\r\n\r\nDave (10:14):\r\n\r\nWere there moments when they're teenagers or even adults where they called you out? \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nOh, definitely.\r\n\r\nJenifer (10:18):\r\n\r\nWe just did our best unto God and that's who I answer to is the Lord and I believe He is full of grace. If I had an elevator pitch for someone, why do you believe in Jesus? I would say because He is grace. And I have made so many mistakes in my life that could have gotten me in so much trouble and God's grace just covered me. I'm going to mess up. I'm not perfect. And I want people to know it's okay. It's okay. \r\n\r\nAnn (10:42):\r\n\r\nAnd I think too with teenagers, I think it's a great question: guys, what am I doing that you think I'm saying it but I'm not living it?\r\n\r\nJenifer (10:51):\r\n\r\nYes.\r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nYep.\r\n\r\nAnn (10:51):\r\n\r\nTeenagers will tell you, but I think it's a great mirror and say, \u201cBe humble.\u201d\r\n\r\nJenifer (10:55):\r\n\r\nAnd teach them it's okay. \r\n\r\nAnn:\r\n\r\nYeah, like, you're right. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nAll of this is teaching them to be married. I love that my kids watched us date a lot and now I'm watching my kids go on little trips. So it's kind of fun to see a few things we did right maybe and modeled correctly that you get to see in your married kids, but we have disappointed our kids and I'm so sorry.\r\n\r\nBarrett (11:17):\r\n\r\nEvery parent's going to do that.\r\n\r\nJenifer (11:18):\r\n\r\nEverybody who knows us knows that we are not perfect.\r\n\r\nDave (11:21):\r\n\r\nOr do you think there's a sense as parents sometimes when your kids turn out well, you take too much credit. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nMan, I\u2019m not. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nAnd you take too much blame. It's like, you're not that good and you\u2019re not that bad.\r\n\r\nBarrett (11:32):\r\n\r\nWe're just joining God in what He's doing. So back to the model here, we're teaching for life here. We're modeling. Modeling. Give an example. Jesus did that. The second thing is we're teaching. Jesus obviously was a teacher, and He communicated what it would look like to live in the kingdom under God's leadership. He taught nonstop. We saw that. At some point, moms and dads, we do have to teach our kids what it looks like to live in the kingdom. We have to open up the Scripture, and it might look like, \"Hey, we're going to have a family time. We're going to open the Bible together and talk about it. \" Or it just looks like, \"Hey, what's God teaching you son? What God teaching you daughter? Here's what God's teaching me. Here's what I read in the Word today that was meaningful.\" It's talking about what the truth says or driving home from that great sermon from Pastor Dave.\r\n\r\n(12:10):\r\n\r\n\"What did you learn the sermon today?\" It's those kinds of things.\r\n\r\nDave (12:13):\r\n\r\nOr critiquing that sermon today. \r\n\r\nBarrett (12:14):\r\n\r\nOr critiquing the sermon, whatever.\r\n\r\nAnn (12:16):\r\n\r\nWell, teaching your kids to have a biblical worldview. And having those conversations.\r\n\r\nBarrett (12:18):\r\n\r\nOf course.\r\n\r\nDave (12:19):\r\n\r\nWhat did look like in your home?\r\n\r\nBarrett (12:21):\r\n\r\nWell, again, it was teaching. I\u2019d have to go more than any else. Jenifer, was she home? We home schooled first season, and Jenifer would certainly do some of that. Diligent teaching along the way.\r\n\r\nJenifer (12:29):\r\n\r\nOh, a lot. I tried to anyway. I wanted to give them a firm foundation in God's Word. And I tried very, very hard to teach them different things about our Lord and Savior. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nDid you homeschool all the way through? \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nNo, no, no, no.\r\n\r\nAnn (12:45):\r\n\r\nFall is when small groups start back up.\r\n\r\nDave (12:48):\r\n\r\nNo, fall is when football starts.\r\n\r\nAnn (12:50):\r\n\r\nWell, small groups start back up too. And if you're a group leader, you've been thinking about pulling some couples together for a marriage or family study. I hope you're thinking that. And this really is the best time of year to grab materials.\r\n\r\nDave (13:05):\r\n\r\nYeah. I mean, you can get them right now through the end of August at FamilyLife, all the workbooks for our small groups are 25% off at FamilyLife.com\/shop and there's no discount code needed. You just go there. You can pick from like the Art of Marriage or the Art of Parenting or Vertical Marriage. They're all video studies and the workbooks are included. And I'm telling you what, you want to be a part of a group. It's phenomenal to watch God work in your family room and it's so easy. It's plug and play.\r\n\r\nAnn (13:35):\r\n\r\nYeah. And I feel like we've done almost all of these studies. You guys, they're so good and it's hard thinking like, \u201cWhat can we do this year?\u201d We have the answer for you and it's on sale.\r\n\r\nDave (13:45):\r\n\r\nWe've got you covered, 25% off at FamilyLife.com\/shop.\r\n\r\nAnn (13:54):\r\n\r\nSo we have that modeling. We have the teaching and then this is the hard part.\r\n\r\nBarrett (13:59):\r\n\r\nWell, it's not the hard part. It's the fun part, I think.\r\n\r\nDave (14:01):\r\n\r\nApplying. \r\n\r\nAnn:\r\n\r\nOh, I like that. Applying.\r\n\r\nBarrett (14:03):\r\n\r\nThe third thing is applying. I think what Jesus did with the 12, he modeled, he taught them the life and the kingdom and then he sent them out two by two. Now you guys go and do what I've told you to do. Gast out demons, go heal the sick, go and do what I've done. And they were do that, come back and there was a debriefing and they could talk about it. Hey, what went well? And disciples are going, \"You know what? We did this, Jesus. It didn't go well.\" I'm sure there was a conversation about that. But I think too many of our kids spent all their time in our homes, in our churches, learning a whole lot of principles and truths and they memorize scripture and Bible programs, but we don't give our kids a chance to apply and really have a chance to taste and see that the Lord is good.\r\n\r\n(14:42):\r\n\r\nThat putting legs to your faith where you can see God showed up in my life. God, God showed up when I needed them to show up. You look for every opportunity. We encourage parents in the book to, here's dozens of examples to make your home day by day a laboratory to practice what we say we preach or what we say we value, what we're learning about the ways of God. Let's put it into practice truly to be able to see what God's up to in our lives day by day.\r\n\r\nAnn (15:06):\r\n\r\nYeah, I love that. Well,\r\n\r\nBarrett (15:06):\r\n\r\nToo many parents do that. They teach your kids, learn the Bible, learn the principles, but let's not ever practice living it out.\r\n\r\nJenifer (15:12):\r\n\r\nDeuteronomy six is my teacher. Someone at a women's retreat said, \"What is your verse for your life verse for where you are right now?\" And God gave me that and he just said, \"As you roll along in the minivan, as you eat at the dinner table. Take meals.\" I joke that my kids would look at the brownies and they'd go, \"Can we eat those or is that for somebody else?\" You know what I mean? Because we cooked so many meals for people who were sick or we cleaned a lady's house one day and my son's like, \"Can we come back tomorrow? That was fun.\" I mean, I'm like, \"Are you serious? I feel bad that I just made y'all clean this woman's house.\r\n\r\nBarrett (15:45):\r\n\r\nLet's go home and\r\n\r\nJenifer (15:46):\r\n\r\nClean our house. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you clean your room?\"\r\n\r\nBarrett (15:48):\r\n\r\nSo we're doing that. We're abiding back to this, what does a parent do disciple their kids like Jesus? You walk with God, you start there. And I don't want anybody to see this as a five part checklist because if God said, \"Here's a five point checklist to raising great kids.\" I think it would work the checklist and would never bother going to Jesus.\r\n\r\nJenifer (16:05):\r\n\r\nThat is what I've said. That's my thing. That's what I said. I would've gotten the pamphlet and I am such a just in control person. Oh, got that. Got that. I would've never talked to God. I would've never gone to my room and fell on the floor.\r\n\r\nBarrett (16:20):\r\n\r\nAs moments you're on your face before God saying, \"God, help me. If you don't show up, I don't have to do... \" That is the best place to be in the world because God wants to come and join in that. So we abide with God, we teach for life change. We're modeling, we're teaching along the way. We're giving our kids a chance to apply. And then the capstone of this model, what Jesus did with the 12. He did all of us, not as a distant rabbi, student, teacher, student. He did it in the context of relationship. Yes. He said, \"I've called you my friends.\" So there's a love relationship. I'm doing life with you in this Hebrew\r\n\r\nJenifer (16:49):\r\n\r\nModel. And that's what's getting us through right now. That's what's getting usthrough.\r\n\r\nDave (16:53):\r\n\r\nWhat's that look like? What do you mean? It's getting you through.\r\n\r\nJenifer (16:55):\r\n\r\nEvery day, just saying, God, I hate this. Every scan that Barrett has had for the last three years shows more cancer.\r\n\r\nDave (17:02):\r\n\r\nReally?\r\n\r\nJenifer (17:03):\r\n\r\nHe's got it so many places I can't even name\r\n\r\nDave (17:05):\r\n\r\nThem all. As you walk through this journey, how do you walk it with your kids? That's connecting.\r\n\r\nBarrett (17:11):\r\n\r\nYeah. And the connecting part is, I think it's a capstone of this model. It's what Jesus did. It's what we want. We want nothing more obviously as husband and wife to be in a relationship together, but we want to have a solid relationship with our kids because that's, I think, where the influence is greatest. For parents out there who have kids still at home, children or teenagers, it's easy when your kids are young. They're utterly dependent upon you for all good things when they become - But we're talking\r\n\r\nJenifer (17:40):\r\n\r\nThrough illness and everything.\r\n\r\nBarrett (17:41):\r\n\r\nWhen they become teenagers, it gets harder. You prioritize trying to connect and keep that relationship, but distance and challenges are always going to be there. But I think it still should be our goal as parents to try to strive to maintain that the best you can. And we're trying\r\n\r\nJenifer (17:59):\r\n\r\nTo do that while we fight cancer\r\n\r\nBarrett (18:00):\r\n\r\nEven. Yeah, in spite of that. It's interesting because you want to communicate to your loved ones, friends, family, kids, grandkids, all that. This urgency that we feel of, \"Hey, time may be short. We want to spend every moment we can with you because who knows how much time we got.\" And it's interesting. I don't think people around you fully feel that urgency like you do and that's not even to blame, it's just a reality. So we feel that and we live from that. My fear is that the day will come when I'll move from fantastic to not so great and perhaps I have no idea what it's going to look, no idea what the end of my life as none of us know what it's going to look like. But will I move from, hey, fantastic and great to not so great very quickly and the people around me that I love and want to be with and wanted to be with during this season we'll go, oh goodness, let's make the most of our time.\r\n\r\n(18:56):\r\n\r\nWhen we\r\n\r\nJenifer (18:57):\r\n\r\nHad all this\r\n\r\nBarrett (18:57):\r\n\r\nTime. And we'll run out of time. So we don't know. That's our fear. That's our fear. So my message, let's talk about the people that are listening right now. We can talk about Barrett and Jenifer's struggles and pain and emotions. We want to be encouragement to your audience that's listening.\r\n\r\nJenifer (19:11):\r\n\r\nYes.\r\n\r\nBarrett (19:12):\r\n\r\nMy encouragement would be to any parent who's listening to this to say you've got a short amount of time to connect with the hearts of your children and teenagers, even your young adult kids, you've got a short amount of time. And it feels like, what do they say? The days are - Days are long.short.\r\n\r\n(19:30):\r\n\r\nDon't waste your time to connect with your kids. All the influence, all the teaching, all the modeling, all the things that Jesus did, he did it to the context of relationship. Whatever it takes, connect with the hearts of your kids. If a parent looks at this model or buys this book or says, \"All right, I want to disciple like Jesus. Where do I start?\" Well, I think obviously start with your relationship with God. Start abiding. God, where are we right now? How are we doing? How do I grow in you and connect with you and be close to you and you can leave me. But I think the second priority is if you do not have the heart of your child or your teenagers, there's not a love connection there. Yes.\r\n\r\nJenifer (20:06):\r\n\r\nYou got to go back and win it.\r\n\r\nBarrett (20:07):\r\n\r\nGo back and get the heart of your kid.\r\n\r\nJenifer (20:09):\r\n\r\nYeah,\r\n\r\nBarrett (20:09):\r\n\r\nGood. Go back and do whatever it takes. And love languages. You guys talked to Gary Chapman recently. Go back and say, \"What's the love language of my kid? How do I connect within there? How do I go to my teenager and say, You know what? We haven't been close these days and I hate that. And it's not what God says. What will it take for us to be close again? Does it take - Good question. Me humbling myself and confessing all my shortcomings. Parents confess your shortcomings to your kids. They know you have shortcomings. And parent who says, no, I'm perfect. Got it all together. Your kid knows you don't have us together. And when you live your life communicating, I've got it all together. Don't they know better than that? Humble yourself and go there. So connect with that love relationship and start there for sure.\r\n\r\nAnn (20:50):\r\n\r\nThose are great actions.\r\n\r\nBarrett (20:51):\r\n\r\nWith your kids. And I think that enables us, I think, to maximize our influence on our kids to model, to teach, to give our ids reply, to help them to grow with Christ. We\r\n\r\nJenifer (20:59):\r\n\r\nAre watching our kids parent and\r\n\r\n(21:02):\r\n\r\nThey know they're not perfect parents, but hopefully I know they're crying out to God for help and I don't know. It's just so neat to see it on the other side, I will say to young moms who want to give up and just walk out the door. I joked we had an electric car one time and I'm like, if I ever want to run away from my family, I can only go 68 miles until I find a plug to plug my car back in. I can't run away. But every mom wants to run away from the responsibilities of all this because it is heavy and it is hard. And be in connection. If you're a young mommy, find a mops group, mothers of preschoolers, get encouragement. It's so hard and there's a lot of encouragement out there in the churches hopefully for young moms that people can find.\r\n\r\n(21:46):\r\n\r\nDo\r\n\r\nDave (21:46):\r\n\r\nA good\r\n\r\nBarrett (21:47):\r\n\r\nPodcast\r\n\r\nDave (21:48):\r\n\r\nLike this one. Yeah. Let's do a good one. And then apply it. Apply it. Yeah. As you were talking, I literally pulled up the lyrics because I was thinking, we know this. We're all terminal.\r\n\r\nJenifer (21:59):\r\n\r\nThat's what God said\r\n\r\nDave (21:59):\r\n\r\nTo me too. None of us know if we get tomorrow. None of us are getting out if you're alive. So in some sense, you have a gift because you know your time's short. We think our time's long. It could be shorter than yours. We don't know. And I thought you want to live as if we're dying. Yes. And I thought, remember the song. Did you pull up that country song? Here's what I thought about Tim McGraw's song. I thought what a great song was a hit. And I thought, I wonder if the lyrics have anything to do with parenting. They don't.\r\n\r\nJenifer (22:26):\r\n\r\nReally? It's all about -\r\n\r\nDave (22:27):\r\n\r\nI just pulled it up and it says - Living your best life. And basically, he went to the doctor and he says, your time short. And he says - So\r\n\r\nJenifer (22:34):\r\n\r\nI'm going to go ride a\r\n\r\nDave (22:34):\r\n\r\nBronco. So what I do? I went skydiving. I went Rocky Mountain climbing. I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fuman Chu. And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter and I gave forgiveness I've been denying. And he said, someday I hope you get the chance to live like you're dying, which is awesome. But I thought ma - That's interesting. Of all the things to do when your time is short, love God, love the people in your life that mean the most to you. Love God, love others. That's it. That's Deuteronomy six. That's Jesus when he was asked, what's the most important commandment? Commandment. It's be the parent that God called you to be with your kids because that's your legacy. I mean, you're doing it. You're doing a way to go guys.\r\n\r\nJenifer (23:14):\r\n\r\nWell done. We're trying to do it. I'm glad Barrett's legacy is in print for when he is gone. I don't know. He is just such a precious man.\r\n\r\nDave (23:26):\r\n\r\nOh, we're going to pray. We\r\n\r\nJenifer (23:26):\r\n\r\nDon't know what's next.\r\n\r\nDave (23:27):\r\n\r\nWe're going to pray for you. I'm going to pray that God heals you.\r\n\r\nBarrett (23:31):\r\n\r\nI'll\r\n\r\nDave (23:31):\r\n\r\nTell our listeners you can get their book, disciple them like Jesus at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click on the link in the show notes and we'll have your other books there as well. Thank you. The talks and meet me in the middle and you name it, it'll be there. It's all FamilyLifeToday.com. Let's pray. Thank\r\n\r\nJenifer (23:46):\r\n\r\nYou so much y'all are awesome.\r\n\r\nDave (23:47):\r\n\r\nFather God, I pray for healing. Lord. Only you can do that. And you can do that. Yes. I don't know what your plan is, but we're asking that you heal him physically. And in the days we all have left, whether it's many or little, I pray we live every second for you and we disciple our children and anyone you put around us, we'd make disciples. And Lord, I pray for our kids and our legacy that that legacy would honor you and long after we're gone, grandkids and great grandkids would continue to literally live out a legacy of their parents and grandparents and hopefully that's us that love you and love others. In Jesus' name. Amen.\r\n\r\nJenifer (24:33):\r\n\r\nAmen. Amen. Thank y'all for having us. Thank\r\n\r\nDave (24:36):\r\n\r\nYou.\r\n\r\nJenifer (24:36):\r\n\r\nSo love y'all. And thank you for your ministry.\r\n\r\nDave (24:43):\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae ministry; celebrating 50 years of God's faithfulness as marriages grow stronger and families flourish in him.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?\r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2026 FamilyLife. 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Coyle","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coyle-a9eb952f\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Barrett and Jennifer Johnson join Dave and Ann Wilson on FamilyLife Today to make family discipleship practical, honest, and doable.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2026-08-14.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript\r\n\r\nThis content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nStop Overthinking Family Discipleship: Barrett &amp;amp; Jenifer Johnson\r\n\r\nGuests:Barrett and Jenifer Johnson\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Stop Overthinking Family Discipleship: Barrett &amp;amp; Jenifer Johnson (Day 2 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:August 14, 2026\r\n\r\nBarrett (00:04):\r\n\r\nYou've got a short amount of time to connect with the hearts of your children and teenagers, even your young adult kids. And it feels like\u2014what do they say\u2014the days are\u2014\r\n\r\nJenifer (00:13):\r\n\r\nDays are long and the years are short.\r\n\r\nBarrett (00:13):\r\n\r\nDays are long but the years are short. Don't waste your time to connect with your kids. All the influence, all the teaching, all the modeling, all the things that Jesus did, He did it to the context of relationship. Whatever it takes, connect with the hearts of your kids.\r\n\r\nAnn (00:35):\r\n\r\nWelcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.\r\n\r\nDave (00:42):\r\n\r\nAnd I'm Dave Wilson and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nAnn (00:55):\r\n\r\nSo we're going to talk about discipling our kids today. That always feels overwhelming. It used to feel overwhelming when I heard that topic come up because I felt like, \u201cUgh, are we doing this well?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (01:07):\r\n\r\nAnd how do we do it? And do we do it right? So today we're going to find out from Barrett and Jenifer Johnson how to do it well. So let's go. \r\n\r\nOkay, so if we're going to disciple like Jesus, where do we start?\r\n\r\nBarrett (01:22):\r\n\r\nWell, so let me talk about the model we created that God\u2014again, I don't think I created it. I just\u2014\r\n\r\nDave (01:26):\r\n\r\nIt's a little house.\r\n\r\nBarrett (01:27):\r\n\r\nI looked at the example of Jesus. I said, what did Jesus do with the 12? What made Him so effective? And what can a parent learn from that? And so I built it like a little house. It's a foundation and three pillars and a little roof on top. And the foundations, it's abiding. It's that walk with Jesus, stay close to the Spirit, stay close to God. \r\n\r\nAnn (01:44):\r\n\r\nIt's everything.\r\n\r\nBarrett (01:44):\r\n\r\nIt's everything. John 55\u2014\r\n\r\nDave (01:45):\r\n\r\nSo it's a parent abiding.\r\n\r\nBarrett (01:46):\r\n\r\nParent abiding. Let's look at Jesus example. He was close to his heavenly Father. And we can debate and talk theological all day long. Well, Jesus was God. Okay, sure. But Jesus as a human for His ministry time, we see in Scriptures, He pulled away time and time again to be alone with God, to make sure He was dialed in. That sense of, I need to be alone with God and hear from Him. And if you don't do that, we're missing completely. Jesus said, \u201cApart from me, you can do nothing.\u201d And I think that foundation of abiding in Christ, a mom and dad who are committed to saying, \u201cGod, I want to draw close to You. I want to hear from You. I want to be in touch with what your desires are for each of my kids,\u201d if we don't do that, then we're operating out of the flesh.\r\n\r\n(02:28):\r\n\r\nWe can do nothing. We're doing our best guess at what the right thing to do is, as opposed to hearing from the God who knows the hearts of our children better than we would ever know the hearts of our children.\r\n\r\nDave (02:38):\r\n\r\nAll right. Before you even go to the pillars, what's abiding look like for you guys?\r\n\r\nBarrett (02:43):\r\n\r\nI think it's just walking with God, being in the Word, of singing quietly and saying, \"I want to listen to God's voice,\u201d and say, \u201cGod, what do you want to tell me, and show me?\u201d So it's quiet time. It's times of meditation.\r\n\r\nDave (02:53):\r\n\r\nYou do that together, you do that separate, you do both?\r\n\r\nBarrett (02:55):\r\n\r\nIt's more separate.\r\n\r\nJenifer (02:56):\r\n\r\nIt's mostly separate because Barrett would always go to work. \r\n\r\nBarrett (02:59):\r\n\r\nAnd even in recent days where I'm working from home a lot more, our rhythms of life seems a little different. And so again, I think it's alone time more. We sharpen one another, but I don't want to know exclusively what's God telling us to do, Jenifer. And Jenifer doesn't hear that neither from me. I need to have a sense of what God's telling me as the husband and father and leader of a home, whatever to do. And God needs to tell Jenifer. And so we put our heads together. We come up with what's God's leading us and where He wants us to go.\r\n\r\nAnn (03:25):\r\n\r\nI think this is so important too, because as a parent, when Jesus is talking about, if you abide in me, you'll bear much fruit. And so even when I think about the fruit, think about this as a parent, love. Am I loving my kids? Joy. Love, joy, peace and patience\u2014just those four, changes everything as a parent.\r\n\r\nJenifer (03:41):\r\n\r\nCan't go any further than that.\r\n\r\nAnn (03:43):\r\n\r\nAnd if we don't abide, we display the opposite of those. Frustration, anger, all of that. And so I love that you started with that abiding.\r\n\r\nBarrett (03:52):\r\n\r\nWell, it's because Jesus started with it. And again, I think, remember moms and dads. This model is not \u201cHey, follow Barrett and Jenifer. They've got it figured out.\u201d We don't have it. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nPlease don't. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nNo, we don't.\r\n\r\nJenifer (04:01):\r\n\r\nPlease don't.\r\n\r\nBarrett (04:02):\r\n\r\nBut we look to the example of Jesus. I mean, I can confess and anybody who knows my parenting style for the last 30 years\u2014my closest friends, my bride, my children\u2014we can make a long list of the failings of Barrett Johnson as a father.\r\n\r\nJenifer (04:13):\r\n\r\nAnd even as adults, our kids have told us the mistakes that we've made. \r\n\r\nBarrett (04:17):\r\n\r\nAnd we own that. We want to own that.\r\n\r\nJenifer (04:18):\r\n\r\nAnd it hurts but we want to own it.\r\n\r\nBarrett (04:19):\r\n\r\nBut we also want to walk in grace and say, \u201cBut there's a better way. Let's look at Jesus.\u201d So there's that foundation of abiding.\r\n\r\nDave (04:24):\r\n\r\nHey, couple questions. I don't know which one to ask first because the second one came to me when you just said that. Your adult kids have told you because ours have too. And all you young parents, guess what? It's coming. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nYeah. Yeah. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nEven if you did a great, great job. As they become adults, there's going to be things they're going to bring up that hurt them or let them down. \r\n\r\nAnn:\r\n\r\nBut receive it. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nYes. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nAnd don't get defensive. So you've been there. But when you said Jesus lived this, I thought, well, Jesus wasn't married. So when your spouse isn't abiding in a way you wanted or hoped for or just maybe they're just, they don't want to\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn (05:05):\r\n\r\nAnd maybe they're not a believer.\r\n\r\nDave (05:06):\r\n\r\n\u2014talk to that couple. What do you do when you feel like it's just you?\r\n\r\nBarrett (05:11):\r\n\r\nI feel like sometimes the partner who's walking with God and maybe senses their partner is not, that person has a tendency sometimes to become preachy and\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn:\r\n\r\nYeah, judgmental. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\n\u2014judgmental. \r\n\r\nJenifer (05:22):\r\n\r\nAnd naggy.\r\n\r\nBarrett (05:23):\r\n\r\nAnd if only\u2014naggy. It's great. \r\n\r\nJenifer (05:24):\r\n\r\nNaggy, is that a word?\r\n\r\nBarrett (05:25):\r\n\r\nFor a mom who says, \"I wish my husband would lead better,\" there's certainly examples of a husband who's being spiritually deficient in a severe way and that wife needs to prayerfully, tenderly, gently nudge and God and pray for and all those things. But yeah, no, I don't think any spouse ever nagged their partner towards godliness. It's never happened. And I've heard many, many stories of spouses saying, \"All he does, the only times he brings up scripture is when he's mad at me and trying to correct me.\" And nobody receives that. So again, I think it's a patient, prove the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, all those things, long suffering. Those come out of patiently saying, \"I'm going to be diligent to do the right thing. And I hope and pray my spouse, my partner sees my example.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (06:12):\r\n\r\nWell, I remember when we had three boys, all married now with seven grandkids, but when they were little boys, Ann's picture of me leading spiritually was a family, what do we call it? Family altar. \r\n\r\nJenifer (06:27):\r\n\r\nFamily devotions.\r\n\r\nDave (06:29):\r\n\r\nOnce a week, we're all going to come together. And at one point she said, \"The sermon you gave this morning at church, why don't you just do it tonight with the boys?\" \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nOh my goodness. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nAnd that was not my vision. It was not the way I was thinking of doing. And I think what she really wanted was Dennis Rainey. She wanted me to be Dennis. And I heard that a few times too. Back then, Dennis was our sort of role model, but I saw it differently and I saw it. I even learned this in seminary, believe it or not, the Hebrew model versus the Greek model of teaching where the Greek model is sort of education system like, you're going to read this book and in five weeks we're going to have final and you're going to have to remember everything that's in that book. And the Hebrew model was apprenticeship.\r\n\r\n(07:10):\r\n\r\nIt was walk along the road. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nLiving life together. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nAnd so I was always thinking, I'm going to teach them along the road even as they became teenagers when they have issues that they're wondering about, what a moment to teach rather than, hey, Sunday night\u2014 \r\n\r\nJenifer (07:25):\r\n\r\nIt is as you walk along the way.\r\n\r\nDave (07:26):\r\n\r\n\u2014but we had conversations about that where we had to adjust to one another, right? \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nYes.\r\n\r\nAnn (07:31):\r\n\r\nI was just wanting anything. And you did, but you're right. I had a picture of how it should be right and my picture was intimidating for Dave. He never saw it done and it's not who he is. So to say, \"That's not my guy I don't want, but I didn't marry the pastor. I married this man and God put me with him and he gave us these children because my husband has something to offer them.\" \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nRight; exactly.\r\n\r\nDave (07:57):\r\n\r\nAnd I do think, before we go onto the next pillar, that abiding foundation, if you're not doing that, you don't have power. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nNothing. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nYou have your own strength and it's worthless in a sense. \r\n\r\nBarrett (08:11):\r\n\r\nIt'd be like this microphone, which is a probably high-quality product. The tools are all there, but it's not plugged into anything that's going to make it work.\r\n\r\nDave (08:17):\r\n\r\nYeah. You don't have the power to be the husband, to be the mom that they need. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nOoh, Jen, talk about this.\r\n\r\nJenifer (08:21):\r\n\r\nThe other thing that I will add to that, and I wonder if it's what you're going to say. I went to a book y'all that was this thick and had, I remember the binder was those rings and I was going to sit down and do that with my kids and God said no. \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nOh, the big discipleship manual. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nIt was a big discipleship manual that everyone was using and that is when I started an in-home Bible study with new moms from my church in Texas\u2014shout out to all those precious ladies\u2014and my kids were in the house listening to everything I said. I wasn't like, \"Let's get out this big old spiral notebook that everyone else I know is doing.\" God said, \u201cLive it and live it in front of them.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave (09:02):\r\n\r\nIs this a pillar modeling?\r\n\r\nBarrett (09:03):\r\n\r\nWell, let's do this. So yeah, we have a foundation of walking with God, abiding and then I think teaching what Jesus did with the disciples to teach for life transformation, not for knowledge like the Greek models, but for life transformation. There are kind of three pillars to this process and that's what we created in this model for parents to embrace. And it's modeling, teaching and then applying. Those are three things that Jesus did. And so the modeling is the first one. We have to give our kids a picture of what it looks like to walk with God and that's the most humbling, challenging thing in the world.\r\n\r\nJenifer (09:34):\r\n\r\nThat's where we have messed up.\r\n\r\nAnn (09:37):\r\n\r\nBut every parent does. As long as there's repentance with it\u2014\r\n\r\nJenifer (09:40):\r\n\r\nAnd I have said, I'm sorry, five million times raising children.\r\n\r\nAnn:\r\n\r\nMe too.\r\n\r\nBarrett (09:44):\r\n\r\nAnd that's modeling.\r\n\r\nJenifer (09:45):\r\n\r\nI mean, just\u2014\r\n\r\nBarrett (09:45):\r\n\r\nBut it is that thing that convicts us of, kids, if you want to know how to walk with God, watch how I walk with God. You want how to study your Bible, watch how I study my Bible. You want how to pray, watch how I do it. It's that modeling element. Jesus did that. He said, \"Hey, do what I do. Watch what I do and live life the way I do it in the kingdom.\"\r\n\r\nJenifer (10:03):\r\n\r\nThat's probably the most scary pillar because I would look at my kids and say, \"I am so sorry. I have been a three-headed mommy moment today.\" I mean, this was my three-headed mommy moment. I said that to them.\r\n\r\nDave (10:14):\r\n\r\nWere there moments when they're teenagers or even adults where they called you out? \r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nOh, definitely.\r\n\r\nJenifer (10:18):\r\n\r\nWe just did our best unto God and that's who I answer to is the Lord and I believe He is full of grace. If I had an elevator pitch for someone, why do you believe in Jesus? I would say because He is grace. And I have made so many mistakes in my life that could have gotten me in so much trouble and God's grace just covered me. I'm going to mess up. I'm not perfect. And I want people to know it's okay. It's okay. \r\n\r\nAnn (10:42):\r\n\r\nAnd I think too with teenagers, I think it's a great question: guys, what am I doing that you think I'm saying it but I'm not living it?\r\n\r\nJenifer (10:51):\r\n\r\nYes.\r\n\r\nBarrett:\r\n\r\nYep.\r\n\r\nAnn (10:51):\r\n\r\nTeenagers will tell you, but I think it's a great mirror and say, \u201cBe humble.\u201d\r\n\r\nJenifer (10:55):\r\n\r\nAnd teach them it's okay. \r\n\r\nAnn:\r\n\r\nYeah, like, you're right. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nAll of this is teaching them to be married. I love that my kids watched us date a lot and now I'm watching my kids go on little trips. So it's kind of fun to see a few things we did right maybe and modeled correctly that you get to see in your married kids, but we have disappointed our kids and I'm so sorry.\r\n\r\nBarrett (11:17):\r\n\r\nEvery parent's going to do that.\r\n\r\nJenifer (11:18):\r\n\r\nEverybody who knows us knows that we are not perfect.\r\n\r\nDave (11:21):\r\n\r\nOr do you think there's a sense as parents sometimes when your kids turn out well, you take too much credit. \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nMan, I\u2019m not. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nAnd you take too much blame. It's like, you're not that good and you\u2019re not that bad.\r\n\r\nBarrett (11:32):\r\n\r\nWe're just joining God in what He's doing. So back to the model here, we're teaching for life here. We're modeling. Modeling. Give an example. Jesus did that. The second thing is we're teaching. Jesus obviously was a teacher, and He communicated what it would look like to live in the kingdom under God's leadership. He taught nonstop. We saw that. At some point, moms and dads, we do have to teach our kids what it looks like to live in the kingdom. We have to open up the Scripture, and it might look like, \"Hey, we're going to have a family time. We're going to open the Bible together and talk about it. \" Or it just looks like, \"Hey, what's God teaching you son? What God teaching you daughter? Here's what God's teaching me. Here's what I read in the Word today that was meaningful.\" It's talking about what the truth says or driving home from that great sermon from Pastor Dave.\r\n\r\n(12:10):\r\n\r\n\"What did you learn the sermon today?\" It's those kinds of things.\r\n\r\nDave (12:13):\r\n\r\nOr critiquing that sermon today. \r\n\r\nBarrett (12:14):\r\n\r\nOr critiquing the sermon, whatever.\r\n\r\nAnn (12:16):\r\n\r\nWell, teaching your kids to have a biblical worldview. And having those conversations.\r\n\r\nBarrett (12:18):\r\n\r\nOf course.\r\n\r\nDave (12:19):\r\n\r\nWhat did look like in your home?\r\n\r\nBarrett (12:21):\r\n\r\nWell, again, it was teaching. I\u2019d have to go more than any else. Jenifer, was she home? We home schooled first season, and Jenifer would certainly do some of that. Diligent teaching along the way.\r\n\r\nJenifer (12:29):\r\n\r\nOh, a lot. I tried to anyway. I wanted to give them a firm foundation in God's Word. And I tried very, very hard to teach them different things about our Lord and Savior. \r\n\r\nDave:\r\n\r\nDid you homeschool all the way through? \r\n\r\nJenifer:\r\n\r\nNo, no, no, no.\r\n\r\nAnn (12:45):\r\n\r\nFall is when small groups start back up.\r\n\r\nDave (12:48):\r\n\r\nNo, fall is when football starts.\r\n\r\nAnn (12:50):\r\n\r\nWell, small groups start back up too. And if you're a group leader, you've been thinking about pulling some couples together for a marriage or family study. I hope you're thinking that. And this really is the best time of year to grab materials.\r\n\r\nDave (13:05):\r\n\r\nYeah. I mean, you can get them right now through the end of August at FamilyLife, all the workbooks for our small groups are 25% off at FamilyLife.com\/shop and there's no discount code needed. You just go there. You can pick from like the Art of Marriage or the Art of Parenting or Vertical Marriage. They're all video studies and the workbooks are included. And I'm telling you what, you want to be a part of a group. It's phenomenal to watch God work in your family room and it's so easy. It's plug and play.\r\n\r\nAnn (13:35):\r\n\r\nYeah. And I feel like we've done almost all of these studies. You guys, they're so good and it's hard thinking like, \u201cWhat can we do this year?\u201d We have the answer for you and it's on sale.\r\n\r\nDave (13:45):\r\n\r\nWe've got you covered, 25% off at FamilyLife.com\/shop.\r\n\r\nAnn (13:54):\r\n\r\nSo we have that modeling. We have the teaching and then this is the hard part.\r\n\r\nBarrett (13:59):\r\n\r\nWell, it's not the hard part. It's the fun part, I think.\r\n\r\nDave (14:01):\r\n\r\nApplying. \r\n\r\nAnn:\r\n\r\nOh, I like that. Applying.\r\n\r\nBarrett (14:03):\r\n\r\nThe third thing is applying. I think what Jesus did with the 12, he modeled, he taught them the life and the kingdom and then he sent them out two by two. Now you guys go and do what I've told you to do. Gast out demons, go heal the sick, go and do what I've done. And they were do that, come back and there was a debriefing and they could talk about it. Hey, what went well? And disciples are going, \"You know what? We did this, Jesus. It didn't go well.\" I'm sure there was a conversation about that. But I think too many of our kids spent all their time in our homes, in our churches, learning a whole lot of principles and truths and they memorize scripture and Bible programs, but we don't give our kids a chance to apply and really have a chance to taste and see that the Lord is good.\r\n\r\n(14:42):\r\n\r\nThat putting legs to your faith where you can see God showed up in my life. God, God showed up when I needed them to show up. You look for every opportunity. We encourage parents in the book to, here's dozens of examples to make your home day by day a laboratory to practice what we say we preach or what we say we value, what we're learning about the ways of God. Let's put it into practice truly to be able to see what God's up to in our lives day by day.\r\n\r\nAnn (15:06):\r\n\r\nYeah, I love that. Well,\r\n\r\nBarrett (15:06):\r\n\r\nToo many parents do that. They teach your kids, learn the Bible, learn the principles, but let's not ever practice living it out.\r\n\r\nJenifer (15:12):\r\n\r\nDeuteronomy six is my teacher. Someone at a women's retreat said, \"What is your verse for your life verse for where you are right now?\" And God gave me that and he just said, \"As you roll along in the minivan, as you eat at the dinner table. Take meals.\" I joke that my kids would look at the brownies and they'd go, \"Can we eat those or is that for somebody else?\" You know what I mean? Because we cooked so many meals for people who were sick or we cleaned a lady's house one day and my son's like, \"Can we come back tomorrow? That was fun.\" I mean, I'm like, \"Are you serious? I feel bad that I just made y'all clean this woman's house.\r\n\r\nBarrett (15:45):\r\n\r\nLet's go home and\r\n\r\nJenifer (15:46):\r\n\r\nClean our house. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you clean your room?\"\r\n\r\nBarrett (15:48):\r\n\r\nSo we're doing that. We're abiding back to this, what does a parent do disciple their kids like Jesus? You walk with God, you start there. And I don't want anybody to see this as a five part checklist because if God said, \"Here's a five point checklist to raising great kids.\" I think it would work the checklist and would never bother going to Jesus.\r\n\r\nJenifer (16:05):\r\n\r\nThat is what I've said. That's my thing. That's what I said. I would've gotten the pamphlet and I am such a just in control person. Oh, got that. Got that. I would've never talked to God. I would've never gone to my room and fell on the floor.\r\n\r\nBarrett (16:20):\r\n\r\nAs moments you're on your face before God saying, \"God, help me. If you don't show up, I don't have to do... \" That is the best place to be in the world because God wants to come and join in that. So we abide with God, we teach for life change. We're modeling, we're teaching along the way. We're giving our kids a chance to apply. And then the capstone of this model, what Jesus did with the 12. He did all of us, not as a distant rabbi, student, teacher, student. He did it in the context of relationship. Yes. He said, \"I've called you my friends.\" So there's a love relationship. I'm doing life with you in this Hebrew\r\n\r\nJenifer (16:49):\r\n\r\nModel. And that's what's getting us through right now. That's what's getting usthrough.\r\n\r\nDave (16:53):\r\n\r\nWhat's that look like? What do you mean? It's getting you through.\r\n\r\nJenifer (16:55):\r\n\r\nEvery day, just saying, God, I hate this. Every scan that Barrett has had for the last three years shows more cancer.\r\n\r\nDave (17:02):\r\n\r\nReally?\r\n\r\nJenifer (17:03):\r\n\r\nHe's got it so many places I can't even name\r\n\r\nDave (17:05):\r\n\r\nThem all. As you walk through this journey, how do you walk it with your kids? That's connecting.\r\n\r\nBarrett (17:11):\r\n\r\nYeah. And the connecting part is, I think it's a capstone of this model. It's what Jesus did. It's what we want. We want nothing more obviously as husband and wife to be in a relationship together, but we want to have a solid relationship with our kids because that's, I think, where the influence is greatest. For parents out there who have kids still at home, children or teenagers, it's easy when your kids are young. They're utterly dependent upon you for all good things when they become - But we're talking\r\n\r\nJenifer (17:40):\r\n\r\nThrough illness and everything.\r\n\r\nBarrett (17:41):\r\n\r\nWhen they become teenagers, it gets harder. You prioritize trying to connect and keep that relationship, but distance and challenges are always going to be there. But I think it still should be our goal as parents to try to strive to maintain that the best you can. And we're trying\r\n\r\nJenifer (17:59):\r\n\r\nTo do that while we fight cancer\r\n\r\nBarrett (18:00):\r\n\r\nEven. Yeah, in spite of that. It's interesting because you want to communicate to your loved ones, friends, family, kids, grandkids, all that. This urgency that we feel of, \"Hey, time may be short. We want to spend every moment we can with you because who knows how much time we got.\" And it's interesting. I don't think people around you fully feel that urgency like you do and that's not even to blame, it's just a reality. So we feel that and we live from that. My fear is that the day will come when I'll move from fantastic to not so great and perhaps I have no idea what it's going to look, no idea what the end of my life as none of us know what it's going to look like. But will I move from, hey, fantastic and great to not so great very quickly and the people around me that I love and want to be with and wanted to be with during this season we'll go, oh goodness, let's make the most of our time.\r\n\r\n(18:56):\r\n\r\nWhen we\r\n\r\nJenifer (18:57):\r\n\r\nHad all this\r\n\r\nBarrett (18:57):\r\n\r\nTime. And we'll run out of time. So we don't know. That's our fear. That's our fear. So my message, let's talk about the people that are listening right now. We can talk about Barrett and Jenifer's struggles and pain and emotions. We want to be encouragement to your audience that's listening.\r\n\r\nJenifer (19:11):\r\n\r\nYes.\r\n\r\nBarrett (19:12):\r\n\r\nMy encouragement would be to any parent who's listening to this to say you've got a short amount of time to connect with the hearts of your children and teenagers, even your young adult kids, you've got a short amount of time. And it feels like, what do they say? The days are - Days are long.short.\r\n\r\n(19:30):\r\n\r\nDon't waste your time to connect with your kids. All the influence, all the teaching, all the modeling, all the things that Jesus did, he did it to the context of relationship. Whatever it takes, connect with the hearts of your kids. If a parent looks at this model or buys this book or says, \"All right, I want to disciple like Jesus. Where do I start?\" Well, I think obviously start with your relationship with God. Start abiding. God, where are we right now? How are we doing? How do I grow in you and connect with you and be close to you and you can leave me. But I think the second priority is if you do not have the heart of your child or your teenagers, there's not a love connection there. Yes.\r\n\r\nJenifer (20:06):\r\n\r\nYou got to go back and win it.\r\n\r\nBarrett (20:07):\r\n\r\nGo back and get the heart of your kid.\r\n\r\nJenifer (20:09):\r\n\r\nYeah,\r\n\r\nBarrett (20:09):\r\n\r\nGood. Go back and do whatever it takes. And love languages. You guys talked to Gary Chapman recently. Go back and say, \"What's the love language of my kid? How do I connect within there? How do I go to my teenager and say, You know what? We haven't been close these days and I hate that. And it's not what God says. What will it take for us to be close again? Does it take - Good question. Me humbling myself and confessing all my shortcomings. Parents confess your shortcomings to your kids. They know you have shortcomings. And parent who says, no, I'm perfect. Got it all together. Your kid knows you don't have us together. And when you live your life communicating, I've got it all together. Don't they know better than that? Humble yourself and go there. So connect with that love relationship and start there for sure.\r\n\r\nAnn (20:50):\r\n\r\nThose are great actions.\r\n\r\nBarrett (20:51):\r\n\r\nWith your kids. And I think that enables us, I think, to maximize our influence on our kids to model, to teach, to give our ids reply, to help them to grow with Christ. We\r\n\r\nJenifer (20:59):\r\n\r\nAre watching our kids parent and\r\n\r\n(21:02):\r\n\r\nThey know they're not perfect parents, but hopefully I know they're crying out to God for help and I don't know. It's just so neat to see it on the other side, I will say to young moms who want to give up and just walk out the door. I joked we had an electric car one time and I'm like, if I ever want to run away from my family, I can only go 68 miles until I find a plug to plug my car back in. I can't run away. But every mom wants to run away from the responsibilities of all this because it is heavy and it is hard. And be in connection. If you're a young mommy, find a mops group, mothers of preschoolers, get encouragement. It's so hard and there's a lot of encouragement out there in the churches hopefully for young moms that people can find.\r\n\r\n(21:46):\r\n\r\nDo\r\n\r\nDave (21:46):\r\n\r\nA good\r\n\r\nBarrett (21:47):\r\n\r\nPodcast\r\n\r\nDave (21:48):\r\n\r\nLike this one. Yeah. Let's do a good one. And then apply it. Apply it. Yeah. As you were talking, I literally pulled up the lyrics because I was thinking, we know this. We're all terminal.\r\n\r\nJenifer (21:59):\r\n\r\nThat's what God said\r\n\r\nDave (21:59):\r\n\r\nTo me too. None of us know if we get tomorrow. None of us are getting out if you're alive. So in some sense, you have a gift because you know your time's short. We think our time's long. It could be shorter than yours. We don't know. And I thought you want to live as if we're dying. Yes. And I thought, remember the song. Did you pull up that country song? Here's what I thought about Tim McGraw's song. I thought what a great song was a hit. And I thought, I wonder if the lyrics have anything to do with parenting. They don't.\r\n\r\nJenifer (22:26):\r\n\r\nReally? It's all about -\r\n\r\nDave (22:27):\r\n\r\nI just pulled it up and it says - Living your best life. And basically, he went to the doctor and he says, your time short. And he says - So\r\n\r\nJenifer (22:34):\r\n\r\nI'm going to go ride a\r\n\r\nDave (22:34):\r\n\r\nBronco. So what I do? I went skydiving. I went Rocky Mountain climbing. I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fuman Chu. And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter and I gave forgiveness I've been denying. And he said, someday I hope you get the chance to live like you're dying, which is awesome. But I thought ma - That's interesting. Of all the things to do when your time is short, love God, love the people in your life that mean the most to you. Love God, love others. That's it. That's Deuteronomy six. That's Jesus when he was asked, what's the most important commandment? Commandment. It's be the parent that God called you to be with your kids because that's your legacy. I mean, you're doing it. You're doing a way to go guys.\r\n\r\nJenifer (23:14):\r\n\r\nWell done. We're trying to do it. I'm glad Barrett's legacy is in print for when he is gone. I don't know. He is just such a precious man.\r\n\r\nDave (23:26):\r\n\r\nOh, we're going to pray. We\r\n\r\nJenifer (23:26):\r\n\r\nDon't know what's next.\r\n\r\nDave (23:27):\r\n\r\nWe're going to pray for you. I'm going to pray that God heals you.\r\n\r\nBarrett (23:31):\r\n\r\nI'll\r\n\r\nDave (23:31):\r\n\r\nTell our listeners you can get their book, disciple them like Jesus at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click on the link in the show notes and we'll have your other books there as well. Thank you. The talks and meet me in the middle and you name it, it'll be there. It's all FamilyLifeToday.com. Let's pray. Thank\r\n\r\nJenifer (23:46):\r\n\r\nYou so much y'all are awesome.\r\n\r\nDave (23:47):\r\n\r\nFather God, I pray for healing. Lord. Only you can do that. And you can do that. Yes. I don't know what your plan is, but we're asking that you heal him physically. And in the days we all have left, whether it's many or little, I pray we live every second for you and we disciple our children and anyone you put around us, we'd make disciples. And Lord, I pray for our kids and our legacy that that legacy would honor you and long after we're gone, grandkids and great grandkids would continue to literally live out a legacy of their parents and grandparents and hopefully that's us that love you and love others. In Jesus' name. Amen.\r\n\r\nJenifer (24:33):\r\n\r\nAmen. Amen. Thank y'all for having us. Thank\r\n\r\nDave (24:36):\r\n\r\nYou.\r\n\r\nJenifer (24:36):\r\n\r\nSo love y'all. And thank you for your ministry.\r\n\r\nDave (24:43):\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae ministry; celebrating 50 years of God's faithfulness as marriages grow stronger and families flourish in him.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?\r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2026 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife.com\n","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/318548","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=318548"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/295627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=318548"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=318548"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=318548"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=318548"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=318548"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=318548"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}