{"id":318143,"date":"2026-04-01T04:29:21","date_gmt":"2026-04-01T08:29:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/why-real-relationships-beat-ai-companions-every-time-ron-deal\/"},"modified":"2026-04-01T04:29:23","modified_gmt":"2026-04-01T08:29:23","slug":"why-real-relationships-beat-ai-companions-every-time-ron-deal","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-real-relationships-beat-ai-companions-every-time-ron-deal\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Real Relationships Beat AI Companions Every Time: Ron Deal"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Think AI is harmless? Think again. Today\u2019s chatbots don\u2019t just answer questions\u2014they offer friendship, romance, even \u201clove.\u201d And the AI dangers aren\u2019t loud\u2026 they\u2019re subtle. Easy affirmation. Zero challenge. Total secrecy. On FamilyLife Today, Dave and Ann Wilson talk with Ron Deal about how AI dangers threaten marriages, kids, and faith. Before \u201cGoogle God\u201d replaces real connection, learn what\u2019s at stake in your home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Think AI is harmless? Chatbots offer friendship, romance\u2014even love. Deal joins the Wilsons to unpack what\u2019s at stake at home. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":295627,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/0bf2fb64-aa38-4fab-be55-b412014c763b\/audio.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:55","filesize":"22.85M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2089],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[11471],"cwp_profile":[3300],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-318143","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-media-and-entertainment","podcast_series-ai-companions-ron-deal","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Cover_1024x1024.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/318143\/why-real-relationships-beat-ai-companions-every-time-ron-deal","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/318143\/why-real-relationships-beat-ai-companions-every-time-ron-deal","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"RfgsVTdj6y\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-real-relationships-beat-ai-companions-every-time-ron-deal\/\">Why Real Relationships Beat AI Companions Every Time: Ron Deal<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-real-relationships-beat-ai-companions-every-time-ron-deal\/embed\/#?secret=RfgsVTdj6y\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Why Real Relationships Beat AI Companions Every Time: Ron Deal&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"RfgsVTdj6y\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["0bf2fb64-aa38-4fab-be55-b412014c763b"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/0bf2fb64-aa38-4fab-be55-b412014c763b\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:24:55"],"filesize":["22.85M"],"_thumbnail_id":["295627"],"show_notes":["\n<ul>\n<li>Attend a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway: Register today at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/weekend-to-remember\/\">WeekendToRemember.com<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Join the Blended & Blessed one-day event\/livestream: register today at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blendedandblessed.com\/\">blendedandblessed.com<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Get your copy of <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/the-mindful-marriage\/\">The Mindful Marriage<\/a> by Ron and Nan Deal on our shop<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr>\n<ul>\n<li>Thanks to the Christian Standard Bible for sponsoring this episode. Learn more at <a href=\"https:\/\/CSBible.com\">CSBible.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Follow us on all social platforms: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/familylifeministry\">Facebook<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/familylife.today\/\">Instagram<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/playlist?list=PLSzse1nmlqbLhDx5FpGVDgLmxy1rmQBau\">YouTube<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find resources from our podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Download <a href=\"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n"],"transcript_content":["\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript\r\n\r\nThis content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nWhy Real Relationships Beat AI Companions Every Time\r\n\r\nGuest:Ron Deal\r\n\r\nFrom the series:AI Companions (Day 2 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:April 1, 2026\r\n\r\nRon (00:04):\r\n\r\nOne of my professors said something I've never forgotten. He said: \u201cA lot of people argue over what addiction is,\u201d and \u201cHow do you know you have one?\u201d He said, \u201cBasically, when you can't do life without the thing, you're attached to it in an unhealthy way. Anybody who says, \u2018Hey, this is not harming anybody. This is how I cool my jets. This is how I figure out: \u201cHow am I going to do life tomorrow?\u201d\u2019\u201d \u201cOkay; then, give it up.\u201d \u201cOh, no; I don't want to give it up.\u201d \u201cOkay; then, you can't do life without the thing; that's an idol. It is standing between you and your total trust in God\u2014your reliance, and dependence, and surrender to Him\u2014and it needs to go.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn (00:56):\r\n\r\nWelcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.\r\n\r\nDave (01:03):\r\n\r\nAnd I'm Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nAnn (01:16):\r\n\r\nThis is going to be another great day with Ron Deal. Welcome to FamilyLife Today. We're going to get into some things.\r\n\r\nDave (01:22):\r\n\r\nArtificial intelligence, AI as a companion.\r\n\r\nAnn (01:27):\r\n\r\nCrazy!\r\n\r\nDave (01:28):\r\n\r\nWho would've ever thought this would be something that we have to talk about, but we are today; and it's going to be great. Let's jump in with Ron.\r\n\r\nAnn (01:41):\r\n\r\nI loved having these conversations with our middle schoolers and high schoolers. One of the ways that we would approach these questions was: \u201cHey, what are kids saying about AI companions?\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (01:53):\r\n\r\nThat's good.\r\n\r\nAnn (01:53):\r\n\r\nBecause they're all talking about it. They don't have to talk about themselves, specifically. It gives you an idea of what's happening in their world; and then, you can dive in a little deeper each time.\r\n\r\nDave (02:03):\r\n\r\nThat conversation at the dinner table or wherever\u2014I remember before digital devices were a thing\u2014asking my middle-school son, who was 13, I think.\r\n\r\nAnn (02:15):\r\n\r\nHe was eighth grade.\r\n\r\nDave (02:16):\r\n\r\nI said, \u201cHey, CJ, how many guys on your wrestling team look at porn?\u201d He said, \u201cEverybody.\u201d If you asked your middle-schooler today, \u201cHow many of your classmates are talking about AI companions?\u201d\u2014I'm guessing the answer's the same. We have to step in there.\r\n\r\nRon (02:36):\r\n\r\nWe do.\r\n\r\nDave (02:36):\r\n\r\nI love what you said, Ron: \u201cOne of the first things I think I would say is: \u2018Relationships are hard. Easy is not always better.\u201d Hard actually is better, because it's going to develop you to understand how to relate to a real person. It is going to be messy, at times. Step into that; it's going to be better, in the long run. The easier Chatbot girlfriend\/boyfriend will end up like porn; it will be something that'll be really, really hard for you to break.\r\n\r\nAnn (03:05):\r\n\r\n\u2014and empty. There's an emptiness, too.\r\n\r\nRon (03:07):\r\n\r\nI've got a few little teaching points that I'd like to just throw out; and then, have you guys react to them:\r\n\r\nIn particular, with kids; and with one another, as adults, teach screen management\u2014now, that's just a general thing\u2014\u201cHow much time are you spending on a screen?\u201d I know we've had programs on FamilyLife Today, talking about that; and it's important. \r\n\r\nHave those family practices: charging phones in one place, all night long, so people don't lay in bed, just looking; or talking to their AI Chatbot, as it were\u2014that kind of stuff: developing those habits\u2014you having those habits, as a parent; and your kids are watching you have those habits\u2014really important to just do that. \r\n\r\nPut a phone down when you're having conversation at dinner. All those kind of little tips and rules are helpful. \r\n\r\nWhat are we teaching? We're teaching self-control over technology; that then, extends into this specific area of technology, the AI Chatbots. I think that's important. \r\n\r\n(04:08) We're going to, of course, teach them to be discerning and recognize that AI is designed to hook you. It's designed to mirror your little worldview and validate how you think life should be. It's not going to challenge you on anything. It's not objective; it's designed to make you feel good about yourself. By the way, that really works against what God's trying to do in us much of the time. \r\n\r\nOf course, God loves us; and that makes us feel good about who we are. But feel good about Ron\u2014and Ron never has to change anything\u2014nope, that's not really helpful; that's not biblical. It's not going to help you in your walk with Jesus. I think we need to say that out loud so that our kids get it: \u201cThis is after you, in a way.\u201d\r\n\r\n(04:41) Proverbs 3: \u201cGod disciplines those whom He loves.\u201d God loves you; AI does not. God's going to help you be wise in life. AI is going to help you be wise in your own eyes. Who are we really trusting with the important things of life? God delights in you; He's after you, but He wants to grow you up and teach you all kinds of wonderful things. \r\n\r\nTalk about that easy and hard stuff\u2014all of that's really, really important\u2014I think we need to teach that. Talking to a Chatbot, when they're lonely, is a bit of a danger sign: \u201cMaybe, you're beginning to replace God with this Chatbot,\u201d that your need\u2014your loneliness, your depression, your sadness, your grief, your dilemma with your friend at school\u2014whatever that thing is, the best first place to take that is, not something technological; it's your Lord. That's the best first place. Just making those kinds of things overt; so that, we and our children are developing habits that we manage technology; it doesn't manage us.\r\n\r\nAnn (05:52):\r\n\r\nThe thing that pops into my head, Ron, when you say that, is\u2014when the disciples were saying, \u201cJesus, don't leave us,\u201d\u2014and He said, \u201cNo, it's better that I leave you; because I'm sending My Comforter, the Holy Spirit, to be with you always,\u201d\u2014even when He said to the disciples, as He was ascending to the Father\u2014\u201cLo, I will be with you always.\u201d His presence is always with us; and so for us\u2014His people, His children\u2014to get into a habit of conversation with Him continually\u2014Paul says, \u201cPray without ceasing,\u201d\u2014that just looks like a continual relationship with the Father. He's way better than any AI Chatbot. He's powerful; He's the almighty God, Who knows everything about us more than any fake AI thing could.\r\n\r\nDave (06:36):\r\n\r\nAnd when God says, \u201cI love you,\u201d\u2014which He absolutely constantly says, and proved it by dying on the cross for our sins\u2014when God says, \u201cI love you,\u201d He means it. When a Chatbot says, \u201cI love you,\u201d it's a lie; it's just a lie.\r\n\r\nAnn: It's not a person. \r\n\r\nDaveL It may feel like it's true; it's not true.\r\n\r\nRon (06:57):\r\n\r\nGuys, there's something underneath all of this that I'd love for us to just tackle, if we could.\r\n\r\nAnn (07:03):\r\n\r\nDemonic?\r\n\r\nRon (07:04):\r\n\r\nWell, okay; you said it. Evil's going to use anything neutral for evil; it just is. Of course, that's there. \r\n\r\nI also think there's a cultural matter going on. In some ways, in the church, and those of us in marriage ministry, may share a little of the responsibility for how people have been set up to run to these AI companions. Here's what I'm getting at: \u201cHow many conversations have you had with your children, adult children or otherwise, about how they google everything?\u201d I've started calling it the Google-god because it seems to have all the answers for life: \u201cJust go YouTube that,\u201d or \u201cSearch that,\u201d \u201cAsk Google, and you'll get your answers.\u201d Now, listen to that; we've already moved into this place, where that's normal.\r\n\r\nAnn (07:48):\r\n\r\nOh, I'm already convicted that you said that.\r\n\r\nRon (07:50):\r\n\r\n\u201cThe Google-god has answers.\u201d We all do it; we all do it. Some people just do it incessantly: \u201cOf course, an AI Chatbot, who will have a dialogue with you; Google only gives you one answer. A Chatbot will have a conversation with you.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn (08:02):\r\n\r\nGood point.\r\n\r\nRon (08:03):\r\n\r\nIt's like you're talking to a person. Again, it's even more drawing you into feeling like: \u201cThis is something real,\u201d when it's a pseudo relationship, at best. But part of this is: \u201cMeet my needs: \u2018I can go to Google, and it meets my needs,\u2019 \u2018I can go to YouTube, and get an answer to how to fix this thing; and it meets my needs.\u2019\u201d Culture says, \u201cRelationships are about meeting needs; I need to find somebody.\u201d This is the prevailing cultural thought about finding a spouse: \u201cI need to find somebody who will support my brand. My brand is out there on Instagram. My brand is out there on social media, and this is who I am. What I need to do is find somebody, who says, \u2018Ron, you're perfect just the way you are.\u2019\u201d \r\n\r\nLook, that's not what relationships do. From a biblical standpoint, we know relationships disciple us into the image of Jesus. It is the grind\u2014of loving; of serving; of sacrificing; of asking for forgiveness; for recognizing my faults; for working on me to be a more perfect Jesus in my marriage, for example\u2014that grind is growing me up into the image of Jesus. That's where difficult brings blessing. Easy just brings easy; easy just keeps me selfish.\r\n\r\nAnn (09:20):\r\n\r\nI was going to say, \u201cIf there's no self-denial, that's just ugly; because we become narcissists.\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (09:27):\r\n\r\nCulture says, \u201cFind the easy; find the  thing that affirms you.\u201d God says, \u201cNo, I'm going to let relationships rub off your rough edges, Ron; teach you some things about you [that] you need to know, so you can become even more of a lover, and giver, and self-giving just like Jesus.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (09:45):\r\n\r\nAs you said, when we hear messages\u2014and sometimes, we say this in the church, I think\u2014\u201cFind a person who meets your needs, that's your soulmate. Marry her\/marry him.\u201d And then, when you get married, and they don't meet your needs, you think, \u201cI married the wrong person. There's another person out there who\u2019s going to meet my needs better.\u201d And the answer is: \u201cYou didn't marry the wrong person. You're looking in the wrong place. You got to look to God; God's the only One Who\u2019s going to meet your needs.\u201d \r\n\r\nBut we do that; and now, we have a fake person,\u2014\r\n\r\nRon (10:13):\r\n\r\nThat's right.\r\n\r\nDave (10:13):\r\n\r\n\u2014who, in a sense, really does feel like she understands me better than my human wife. That is a false god; we've made them a false god.\r\n\r\nRon (10:26):\r\n\r\nAt the end of the day, we're talking about idols here. You said it: we have, inadvertently, set people up with the: \u201cMeet my need\u201d-thing. We got to challenge that cultural value. We've got to challenge that, as it comes to relationships and forming relationships; but we also got to challenge it as it relates to how I manage my technology rather than letting it manage me.\r\n\r\nDave (10:47):\r\n\r\nYeah, definitely a thing\u2014not only for us, as parents, with our kids\u2014I think for us.\r\n\r\nAnn (10:52):\r\n\r\nOh, for sure.\r\n\r\nDave (10:53):\r\n\r\nI didn't know the stats\u2014the millions of people\u2014it's going to be a big problem that we are going to have to address.\r\n\r\nAnn (11:02):\r\n\r\nRon, think about: as couples, who are listening\u2014and they have an AI chat companion\u2014\u201cShould we tell our spouse about it? What if we have one, and we haven't said anything to our spouse?\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (11:14):\r\n\r\nSecrecy breeds distrust and more misbehavior, more sinful behavior; so absolutely, I would talk about it; I would share it. If I were to begin to have an ongoing relationship\u2014again, it seems so weird to even say that out loud\u2014but ongoing relationship with a Chatbot as a friend, as a coach, as an AI assistant; let alone, a deep friend; let alone, a romantic sort of interest\u2014I would absolutely share those conversations with my wife, full visibility. \r\n\r\nLet her know what's going on; share with her. She has full access if ever she wants to see the dialogue on the phone\u2014\"We'll scroll it back, and you can see everything that's happening there,\u201d\u2014because that kind of disclosure creates an accountability: helps everybody keep in mind what's happening here and what is not happening here. I think that's really good for all of us: anytime there's light shed on something, it helps us have integrity and keep it where it needs to be.\r\n\r\nDave (12:16):\r\n\r\nRon, you know better than anybody, as a counselor, there's also that underlying root\u2014there's something else going on, underneath\u2014that you got to understand: \u201cWhy am I turning to this when I'm lonely or I'm empty?\u201d \u201cWhat is underneath there that I've got to figure out?\u201d Maybe, we need to figure it out, in our marriage, that makes me, in a weak moment, or an empty moment, say, \u201cI'm going to drink this,\u201d or \u201cI'm going to watch this,\u201d or \u201cI'm going to talk to this person,\u201d\u2014which is a thing. You got to get underneath it; there's something going on that's a little deeper.\r\n\r\nRon (12:50):\r\n\r\nIn Nan\u2019s and my book, The Mindful Marriage, escape is one of the four things that is predictable that we all do. When you find yourself escaping to a friend to solve a problem\u2014escaping away from what's difficult or painful into easy, if I could say it that way\u2014then, that is a sure sign that there's pain underneath. \u201cWhat's the pain about?\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cWell, I don't know what that pain is. It could be our relationship feels fragile. I'm not sure I trust you; you're not sure you trust me. We've had some conflicts in the past\u2014it's uneasy; [I\u2019m] anxious about it\u2014therefore, I go toward easy.\u201d That is a sure sign. It is a sure blinking yellow light\u2014it should be to me when I do that; it should be to anybody else who witnesses me doing that\u2014that there's something here we got to get underneath. We got to chase that pain and figure out what it's about; so that, I can put on self-control about not running into or escaping into easy. This is just fundamental to how we function and operate in life; we've got to recognize it. \r\n\r\n(13:34) Again, we started by saying AI can be a wonderful technology. We're using it for ministry; we're doing all kinds of cool things. I know, in our particular ministry, we're creating video clips with it. We're doing all\u2014it's reducing the amount of work and speeding up how quickly we're able to respond to people in life\u2014there's some great things that are happening there. But we stay in charge of that rather than succumbing to what it wants from us.\r\n\r\nRon (14:19):\r\n\r\nHey, friends; Ron Deal here, Director of FamilyLife Blended. Did you know Blended &amp;amp; Blessed\u2014the only worldwide livestream designed for couples and blended families\u2014is free this year? Saturday, April 18, we're going to be live in Oklahoma City. If you show up there, we're going to charge you for lunch. But other than that, it is free to livestream. Churches can bring a group of couples together, and enjoy the day, absolutely free. \r\n\r\nGayla Grace is going to be with us; Davey and Kristi Blackburn; Cheryl Shumake\u2019s going to be with us; Kathi Lipp; and Bryan Goins, our emcee. It's going to be a wonderful day; I hope you can join us. Learn more and get the link in the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn (15:05):\r\n\r\nWhat about the person, who\u2019s listening and thinking\u2014\"You guys are just alarmists; you're taking it way over the top. When I come home, this has helped my anxiety; it's helped my loneliness. I'm just talking to this AI companion as a friend. I'm just kind of rehashing what's going on, and it's been really helpful. I've told my husband about it. I don't get why you're making such a big deal about this. And to be honest, I don't have time every day to get in the Word. This is kind of like\u2014it's not Jesus\u2014but it's somebody with skin on, in a way.\u201d What would you say to those\/that person?\r\n\r\nRon (15:43):\r\n\r\nNo, there's no skin.\r\n\r\nAnn (15:45):\r\n\r\nBut they can see something.\r\n\r\nRon (15:47):\r\n\r\nYou created the skin.\r\n\r\nTwo quick thoughts come to mind. When the internet became an easy way to find pornography, I remember saying to people, \u201cOh, no; this is going to get bad.\u201d I had people look at me, like, \u201cYou're just an alarmist. This is not going to be a big deal.\u201d And here we are\u2014let's all look back\u2014we all know what's real and how much porn is impacting people's lives, and kids, the age of seven. \r\n\r\nThe other thought that comes to mind is: 32 years ago, I was in graduate school. One of my professors said something I've never forgotten. He said: \u201cA lot of people argue over what addiction is,\u201d and \u201cHow do you know you have one?\u201d He said, \u201cBasically, when you can't do life without the thing, you're attached to it in an unhealthy way. Anybody who says, \u2018Hey, this is not harming anybody; we\u2019re just friends. This is how I cool my jets. This is how I figure out: \u201cHow am I going to do life tomorrow?\u201d\u2019\u201d \u201cOkay; then, give it up.\u201d \u201cOh, no; I don't want to give it up.\u201d \u201cOkay; then, you can't do life without the thing; that's an idol. It is standing between you and your total trust in God\u2014your reliance, and dependence, and surrender to Him\u2014and it needs to go.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (17:09):\r\n\r\nI remember, Ron\u2014boy, it had to be 25 years ago\u2014I did a sermon on the weekend at my church on alcohol. One of the practical things I said was exactly what you just said. I said, \u201cHey, if you don't think it's a problem in your life, give it up for 30 days. Just give it up for 30 days\u2014not a drink for 30 days\u2014and I want to hear from you how that went.\u201d \r\n\r\nI cannot tell you: hundreds of people said, \u201cI didn't think it was an issue. I could barely make it 30 days without a beer.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014\"or a glass of wine.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: It was just like, \u2018Wow! I really didn't realize every night that glass,\u2019\u201d\u2014and he goes\u2014\"I'm not an alcoholic; I'm not getting drunk. But just having a drink\u2014it was much more important to me than I realized\u2014and just a 30-day experiment revealed it.\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (18:02):\r\n\r\nNot too long ago, our church asked all of us to give something up for a week. We were all fasting from something. Nan and I talked about it, and we decided to give up social media and a couple other things. I'm one of those guys who spends about ten minutes on social media a day. I kind of like it\u2014sort of don't\u2014I feel obligated. I jump in; and then, I'm like, \u201cYeah, I don't know what's here.\u201d I really didn't think that was going to be a big deal. I felt it every single day; because there's moments, where I get bored. \r\n\r\nHere's what I noticed out of that fast. I'm watching a basketball game, and I'm loving every minute of it; and they cut to a commercial. I want to go to Instagram and scroll for two minutes until the game comes back on.\r\n\r\nAnn (18:43):\r\n\r\nDave and I both do this.\r\n\r\nRon (18:45):\r\n\r\n\u201cWhy do I do that?\u201d I started chasing my pain: \u201cWhat is it?\u201d \u201cOh, it's a moment of boredom; and I can get a dopamine hit from Instagram right here, right now.\u201d You begin to recognize: \u201cNo, this has a bigger attachment on me than I realized. I really need to be in charge of this.\u201d \r\n\r\nAs I sum up our conversation today\u2014this is sort of what hits me\u2014AI can be a friend: it can be a quick answer to things; it can make you more efficient in your work; it can teach you some good stuff; it can be a nice AI assistant, a wonderful resource.\r\n\r\nAnn (19:19):\r\n\r\nSo helpful.\r\n\r\nRon (19:20):\r\n\r\nBut if we let it, it will become our lover; it will become our god, and that should not be.\r\n\r\nAnn (19:27):\r\n\r\nI'm just thinking of a lot of parents\u2014maybe, of adult kids\u2014and they know their kids are doing this. They're worried about it. \u201cDo we, as parents of adult children, say anything?\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (19:39):\r\n\r\nI know you guys are talking about this in your household. Nan and I are talking about this in our household. I want to say three things. \r\n\r\nThe first thing is pray; pray. Because, moment to moment, you're unsure what to do in any given situation. \r\n\r\nThe other quality is\u2014Jim Burns has taught all of us: \u201cMost of the time, you need to keep your mouth shut; and you to let your kids be adults. You need to keep the welcome mat out\u201d\u2014as he says\u2014\"and be available. If they bring it to you, absolutely speak in; because then, your influence is welcomed at that point in time. But pushing yourself into their spaces, be really cautious and hesitant about that.\u201d\r\n\r\nNow, having said that\u2014if there's danger, we would all jump in\u2014if they were driving a car that was on fire; if they were walking over to the edge of a cliff, and didn't see it, we would speak up to those sorts of things. At some point, I do think there is a space where we do need to speak to our adult children; but how you do that is absolutely critical. It's one thing to say, \u201cMan, you're on your phone all the time. What are you doing? Is that Google-god really running your life over?\u201d Okay, well, now,\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn (20:43):\r\n\r\nI might've just done that, last night, to one of my sons.\r\n\r\nRon (20:45):\r\n\r\n\u2014I'm shutting you down with that tone; with that, that's me parenting you. So with an adult child, it's really important that we come alongside, soft and say, \r\n\r\nYou know how much I love you. \r\n\r\nBy the way, I like to preference, and say, \u201cI've had to do this a time or two.\u201d\r\n\r\nYou know how much I love you, and you know how much I take your independence seriously. I don't want to step on toes; and I don't want to be dad, always telling you what to do. Having said that, I have some concern. I've noticed a couple of things. I'd just like to share my heart with you. I'm for you on this; I want us to figure this thing out together. \r\n\r\nOkay, so I've noticed this AI-thing; it's kind of an ongoing conversation for you. It just feels like, maybe, it's grabbing a little bit of your heart. What do you think? \r\n\r\nOkay, so that whole tone is what I'm going for is: adult; I'm not speaking down, parent-child. I'm trying to say, \u201cI'm delicate here; I'm watching my space. Forgive me if I'm stepping on toes\u201d; and yet, I'm getting to the point. I'm opening up the conversation. And even if, at that point, I think your adult child says, \u201cYeah, no; I'm not having this conversation with you,\u201d you've still said something; it's still there. You let it go and trust that, somehow, that maybe opens the door to a further conversation later.\r\n\r\nAnn (22:11):\r\n\r\nI always say\u2014Dave and I always say\u2014\u201cAs they get older, you say less and you pray more.\u201d If you are going to enter into that conversation, I would be so prayed up. I'd have your friends praying for you. Not that you're telling your friends everything about your kids; but you're saying, \u201cHey, I'm going to have a conversation with one of my kids. Will you just keep that in prayer?\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (22:30):\r\n\r\nIt's good.\r\n\r\nAnn (22:31):\r\n\r\nBecause it is delicate. And the way you shared that, and talk, Ron, was incredibly humble.\r\n\r\nDave (22:37):\r\n\r\nYeah, it was a great modeling. If you're that parent\u2014rewind; listen to that modeling that Ron just gave you again\u2014because it's the way you want to step in. That could be true of a 21-\/22-year-old college kid as well as a 30\/35-year-old adult, married. Either way, you want to come in gently; but also, you have something very important to say; and maybe, God's going to use that to change their life.\r\n\r\nRon (23:02):\r\n\r\nAnd you know what? I think you can take the exact same approach with your spouse. See, one of the things we do, when we get anxious in a marriage, is we become parental toward our spouse. As soon as you become parental toward your spouse, you're just asking them to ignore you and oppose you, as Scripture would say. \r\n\r\nThe adult\/adult\u2014the softening\u2014the: \u201cI see this\u2026I'm for you; I'm with you. I'm here to help.\u201d That same strategy is how we, as Nan would say, offer a care-confrontation to one another, as husbands and wives, every once in a while. It's a care-for-you; it's not a confront-you, and tell you how to live life.\r\n\r\nDave (23:40):\r\n\r\nGood stuff, man. I would never have thought, in the last 40 years of my life, we'd ever have a conversation about AI companions; but I think it's just the beginning of many conversations.\r\n\r\nRon (23:52):\r\n\r\nI think you\u2019re right.\r\n\r\nAnn (23:52):\r\n\r\nThanks for filling us in: giving us wisdom and even some action steps to take. I think the first place to look is our own lives: \u201cJesus, what do You want me to know about this?\u201d \u201cWhat do You want me to do about this?\u201d I think that's a good start.\r\n\r\nRon (24:05):\r\n\r\nThanks, guys. \r\n\r\nDave: Before we're done today, let me just say this: at FamilyLife, we really believe strong families can change the world. And when you become a FamilyLife Partner, you help make that happen.\r\n\r\nAnn (24:17):\r\n\r\nYour monthly gift helps us equip marriages and families with biblical tools that they can count on.\r\n\r\nDave (24:22):\r\n\r\nAnd we also want to send you exclusive updates; behind the scenes access; and an invitation to our private Partner community, which is pretty cool. So join us, and let's reach families and marriages together.\r\n\r\nAnn (24:34):\r\n\r\nAnd you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and click the \u201cDonate\u201d button to join today.\r\n\r\nDave (24:43):\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nCelebrating 50 years God\u2019s faithfulness as marriages grow stronger and families flourish in Him.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?\r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2026 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife.com\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2026-04-01.pdf"],"ssp_guid":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/why-real-relationships-beat-ai-companions-every-time-ron-deal\/"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Cover_1024x1024.jpg",1024,1024,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret Coyle","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coyle-a9eb952f\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Think AI is harmless? Chatbots offer friendship, romance\u2014even love. Deal joins the Wilsons to unpack what\u2019s at stake at home.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"\n<ul>\n<li>Attend a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway: Register today at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/weekend-to-remember\/\">WeekendToRemember.com<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Join the Blended & Blessed one-day event\/livestream: register today at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blendedandblessed.com\/\">blendedandblessed.com<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Get your copy of <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/the-mindful-marriage\/\">The Mindful Marriage<\/a> by Ron and Nan Deal on our shop<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr>\n<ul>\n<li>Thanks to the Christian Standard Bible for sponsoring this episode. Learn more at <a href=\"https:\/\/CSBible.com\">CSBible.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Follow us on all social platforms: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/familylifeministry\">Facebook<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/familylife.today\/\">Instagram<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/playlist?list=PLSzse1nmlqbLhDx5FpGVDgLmxy1rmQBau\">YouTube<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find resources from our podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Download <a href=\"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2026-04-01.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript\r\n\r\nThis content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nWhy Real Relationships Beat AI Companions Every Time\r\n\r\nGuest:Ron Deal\r\n\r\nFrom the series:AI Companions (Day 2 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:April 1, 2026\r\n\r\nRon (00:04):\r\n\r\nOne of my professors said something I've never forgotten. He said: \u201cA lot of people argue over what addiction is,\u201d and \u201cHow do you know you have one?\u201d He said, \u201cBasically, when you can't do life without the thing, you're attached to it in an unhealthy way. Anybody who says, \u2018Hey, this is not harming anybody. This is how I cool my jets. This is how I figure out: \u201cHow am I going to do life tomorrow?\u201d\u2019\u201d \u201cOkay; then, give it up.\u201d \u201cOh, no; I don't want to give it up.\u201d \u201cOkay; then, you can't do life without the thing; that's an idol. It is standing between you and your total trust in God\u2014your reliance, and dependence, and surrender to Him\u2014and it needs to go.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn (00:56):\r\n\r\nWelcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.\r\n\r\nDave (01:03):\r\n\r\nAnd I'm Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nAnn (01:16):\r\n\r\nThis is going to be another great day with Ron Deal. Welcome to FamilyLife Today. We're going to get into some things.\r\n\r\nDave (01:22):\r\n\r\nArtificial intelligence, AI as a companion.\r\n\r\nAnn (01:27):\r\n\r\nCrazy!\r\n\r\nDave (01:28):\r\n\r\nWho would've ever thought this would be something that we have to talk about, but we are today; and it's going to be great. Let's jump in with Ron.\r\n\r\nAnn (01:41):\r\n\r\nI loved having these conversations with our middle schoolers and high schoolers. One of the ways that we would approach these questions was: \u201cHey, what are kids saying about AI companions?\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (01:53):\r\n\r\nThat's good.\r\n\r\nAnn (01:53):\r\n\r\nBecause they're all talking about it. They don't have to talk about themselves, specifically. It gives you an idea of what's happening in their world; and then, you can dive in a little deeper each time.\r\n\r\nDave (02:03):\r\n\r\nThat conversation at the dinner table or wherever\u2014I remember before digital devices were a thing\u2014asking my middle-school son, who was 13, I think.\r\n\r\nAnn (02:15):\r\n\r\nHe was eighth grade.\r\n\r\nDave (02:16):\r\n\r\nI said, \u201cHey, CJ, how many guys on your wrestling team look at porn?\u201d He said, \u201cEverybody.\u201d If you asked your middle-schooler today, \u201cHow many of your classmates are talking about AI companions?\u201d\u2014I'm guessing the answer's the same. We have to step in there.\r\n\r\nRon (02:36):\r\n\r\nWe do.\r\n\r\nDave (02:36):\r\n\r\nI love what you said, Ron: \u201cOne of the first things I think I would say is: \u2018Relationships are hard. Easy is not always better.\u201d Hard actually is better, because it's going to develop you to understand how to relate to a real person. It is going to be messy, at times. Step into that; it's going to be better, in the long run. The easier Chatbot girlfriend\/boyfriend will end up like porn; it will be something that'll be really, really hard for you to break.\r\n\r\nAnn (03:05):\r\n\r\n\u2014and empty. There's an emptiness, too.\r\n\r\nRon (03:07):\r\n\r\nI've got a few little teaching points that I'd like to just throw out; and then, have you guys react to them:\r\n\r\nIn particular, with kids; and with one another, as adults, teach screen management\u2014now, that's just a general thing\u2014\u201cHow much time are you spending on a screen?\u201d I know we've had programs on FamilyLife Today, talking about that; and it's important. \r\n\r\nHave those family practices: charging phones in one place, all night long, so people don't lay in bed, just looking; or talking to their AI Chatbot, as it were\u2014that kind of stuff: developing those habits\u2014you having those habits, as a parent; and your kids are watching you have those habits\u2014really important to just do that. \r\n\r\nPut a phone down when you're having conversation at dinner. All those kind of little tips and rules are helpful. \r\n\r\nWhat are we teaching? We're teaching self-control over technology; that then, extends into this specific area of technology, the AI Chatbots. I think that's important. \r\n\r\n(04:08) We're going to, of course, teach them to be discerning and recognize that AI is designed to hook you. It's designed to mirror your little worldview and validate how you think life should be. It's not going to challenge you on anything. It's not objective; it's designed to make you feel good about yourself. By the way, that really works against what God's trying to do in us much of the time. \r\n\r\nOf course, God loves us; and that makes us feel good about who we are. But feel good about Ron\u2014and Ron never has to change anything\u2014nope, that's not really helpful; that's not biblical. It's not going to help you in your walk with Jesus. I think we need to say that out loud so that our kids get it: \u201cThis is after you, in a way.\u201d\r\n\r\n(04:41) Proverbs 3: \u201cGod disciplines those whom He loves.\u201d God loves you; AI does not. God's going to help you be wise in life. AI is going to help you be wise in your own eyes. Who are we really trusting with the important things of life? God delights in you; He's after you, but He wants to grow you up and teach you all kinds of wonderful things. \r\n\r\nTalk about that easy and hard stuff\u2014all of that's really, really important\u2014I think we need to teach that. Talking to a Chatbot, when they're lonely, is a bit of a danger sign: \u201cMaybe, you're beginning to replace God with this Chatbot,\u201d that your need\u2014your loneliness, your depression, your sadness, your grief, your dilemma with your friend at school\u2014whatever that thing is, the best first place to take that is, not something technological; it's your Lord. That's the best first place. Just making those kinds of things overt; so that, we and our children are developing habits that we manage technology; it doesn't manage us.\r\n\r\nAnn (05:52):\r\n\r\nThe thing that pops into my head, Ron, when you say that, is\u2014when the disciples were saying, \u201cJesus, don't leave us,\u201d\u2014and He said, \u201cNo, it's better that I leave you; because I'm sending My Comforter, the Holy Spirit, to be with you always,\u201d\u2014even when He said to the disciples, as He was ascending to the Father\u2014\u201cLo, I will be with you always.\u201d His presence is always with us; and so for us\u2014His people, His children\u2014to get into a habit of conversation with Him continually\u2014Paul says, \u201cPray without ceasing,\u201d\u2014that just looks like a continual relationship with the Father. He's way better than any AI Chatbot. He's powerful; He's the almighty God, Who knows everything about us more than any fake AI thing could.\r\n\r\nDave (06:36):\r\n\r\nAnd when God says, \u201cI love you,\u201d\u2014which He absolutely constantly says, and proved it by dying on the cross for our sins\u2014when God says, \u201cI love you,\u201d He means it. When a Chatbot says, \u201cI love you,\u201d it's a lie; it's just a lie.\r\n\r\nAnn: It's not a person. \r\n\r\nDaveL It may feel like it's true; it's not true.\r\n\r\nRon (06:57):\r\n\r\nGuys, there's something underneath all of this that I'd love for us to just tackle, if we could.\r\n\r\nAnn (07:03):\r\n\r\nDemonic?\r\n\r\nRon (07:04):\r\n\r\nWell, okay; you said it. Evil's going to use anything neutral for evil; it just is. Of course, that's there. \r\n\r\nI also think there's a cultural matter going on. In some ways, in the church, and those of us in marriage ministry, may share a little of the responsibility for how people have been set up to run to these AI companions. Here's what I'm getting at: \u201cHow many conversations have you had with your children, adult children or otherwise, about how they google everything?\u201d I've started calling it the Google-god because it seems to have all the answers for life: \u201cJust go YouTube that,\u201d or \u201cSearch that,\u201d \u201cAsk Google, and you'll get your answers.\u201d Now, listen to that; we've already moved into this place, where that's normal.\r\n\r\nAnn (07:48):\r\n\r\nOh, I'm already convicted that you said that.\r\n\r\nRon (07:50):\r\n\r\n\u201cThe Google-god has answers.\u201d We all do it; we all do it. Some people just do it incessantly: \u201cOf course, an AI Chatbot, who will have a dialogue with you; Google only gives you one answer. A Chatbot will have a conversation with you.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn (08:02):\r\n\r\nGood point.\r\n\r\nRon (08:03):\r\n\r\nIt's like you're talking to a person. Again, it's even more drawing you into feeling like: \u201cThis is something real,\u201d when it's a pseudo relationship, at best. But part of this is: \u201cMeet my needs: \u2018I can go to Google, and it meets my needs,\u2019 \u2018I can go to YouTube, and get an answer to how to fix this thing; and it meets my needs.\u2019\u201d Culture says, \u201cRelationships are about meeting needs; I need to find somebody.\u201d This is the prevailing cultural thought about finding a spouse: \u201cI need to find somebody who will support my brand. My brand is out there on Instagram. My brand is out there on social media, and this is who I am. What I need to do is find somebody, who says, \u2018Ron, you're perfect just the way you are.\u2019\u201d \r\n\r\nLook, that's not what relationships do. From a biblical standpoint, we know relationships disciple us into the image of Jesus. It is the grind\u2014of loving; of serving; of sacrificing; of asking for forgiveness; for recognizing my faults; for working on me to be a more perfect Jesus in my marriage, for example\u2014that grind is growing me up into the image of Jesus. That's where difficult brings blessing. Easy just brings easy; easy just keeps me selfish.\r\n\r\nAnn (09:20):\r\n\r\nI was going to say, \u201cIf there's no self-denial, that's just ugly; because we become narcissists.\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (09:27):\r\n\r\nCulture says, \u201cFind the easy; find the  thing that affirms you.\u201d God says, \u201cNo, I'm going to let relationships rub off your rough edges, Ron; teach you some things about you [that] you need to know, so you can become even more of a lover, and giver, and self-giving just like Jesus.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (09:45):\r\n\r\nAs you said, when we hear messages\u2014and sometimes, we say this in the church, I think\u2014\u201cFind a person who meets your needs, that's your soulmate. Marry her\/marry him.\u201d And then, when you get married, and they don't meet your needs, you think, \u201cI married the wrong person. There's another person out there who\u2019s going to meet my needs better.\u201d And the answer is: \u201cYou didn't marry the wrong person. You're looking in the wrong place. You got to look to God; God's the only One Who\u2019s going to meet your needs.\u201d \r\n\r\nBut we do that; and now, we have a fake person,\u2014\r\n\r\nRon (10:13):\r\n\r\nThat's right.\r\n\r\nDave (10:13):\r\n\r\n\u2014who, in a sense, really does feel like she understands me better than my human wife. That is a false god; we've made them a false god.\r\n\r\nRon (10:26):\r\n\r\nAt the end of the day, we're talking about idols here. You said it: we have, inadvertently, set people up with the: \u201cMeet my need\u201d-thing. We got to challenge that cultural value. We've got to challenge that, as it comes to relationships and forming relationships; but we also got to challenge it as it relates to how I manage my technology rather than letting it manage me.\r\n\r\nDave (10:47):\r\n\r\nYeah, definitely a thing\u2014not only for us, as parents, with our kids\u2014I think for us.\r\n\r\nAnn (10:52):\r\n\r\nOh, for sure.\r\n\r\nDave (10:53):\r\n\r\nI didn't know the stats\u2014the millions of people\u2014it's going to be a big problem that we are going to have to address.\r\n\r\nAnn (11:02):\r\n\r\nRon, think about: as couples, who are listening\u2014and they have an AI chat companion\u2014\u201cShould we tell our spouse about it? What if we have one, and we haven't said anything to our spouse?\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (11:14):\r\n\r\nSecrecy breeds distrust and more misbehavior, more sinful behavior; so absolutely, I would talk about it; I would share it. If I were to begin to have an ongoing relationship\u2014again, it seems so weird to even say that out loud\u2014but ongoing relationship with a Chatbot as a friend, as a coach, as an AI assistant; let alone, a deep friend; let alone, a romantic sort of interest\u2014I would absolutely share those conversations with my wife, full visibility. \r\n\r\nLet her know what's going on; share with her. She has full access if ever she wants to see the dialogue on the phone\u2014\"We'll scroll it back, and you can see everything that's happening there,\u201d\u2014because that kind of disclosure creates an accountability: helps everybody keep in mind what's happening here and what is not happening here. I think that's really good for all of us: anytime there's light shed on something, it helps us have integrity and keep it where it needs to be.\r\n\r\nDave (12:16):\r\n\r\nRon, you know better than anybody, as a counselor, there's also that underlying root\u2014there's something else going on, underneath\u2014that you got to understand: \u201cWhy am I turning to this when I'm lonely or I'm empty?\u201d \u201cWhat is underneath there that I've got to figure out?\u201d Maybe, we need to figure it out, in our marriage, that makes me, in a weak moment, or an empty moment, say, \u201cI'm going to drink this,\u201d or \u201cI'm going to watch this,\u201d or \u201cI'm going to talk to this person,\u201d\u2014which is a thing. You got to get underneath it; there's something going on that's a little deeper.\r\n\r\nRon (12:50):\r\n\r\nIn Nan\u2019s and my book, The Mindful Marriage, escape is one of the four things that is predictable that we all do. When you find yourself escaping to a friend to solve a problem\u2014escaping away from what's difficult or painful into easy, if I could say it that way\u2014then, that is a sure sign that there's pain underneath. \u201cWhat's the pain about?\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cWell, I don't know what that pain is. It could be our relationship feels fragile. I'm not sure I trust you; you're not sure you trust me. We've had some conflicts in the past\u2014it's uneasy; [I\u2019m] anxious about it\u2014therefore, I go toward easy.\u201d That is a sure sign. It is a sure blinking yellow light\u2014it should be to me when I do that; it should be to anybody else who witnesses me doing that\u2014that there's something here we got to get underneath. We got to chase that pain and figure out what it's about; so that, I can put on self-control about not running into or escaping into easy. This is just fundamental to how we function and operate in life; we've got to recognize it. \r\n\r\n(13:34) Again, we started by saying AI can be a wonderful technology. We're using it for ministry; we're doing all kinds of cool things. I know, in our particular ministry, we're creating video clips with it. We're doing all\u2014it's reducing the amount of work and speeding up how quickly we're able to respond to people in life\u2014there's some great things that are happening there. But we stay in charge of that rather than succumbing to what it wants from us.\r\n\r\nRon (14:19):\r\n\r\nHey, friends; Ron Deal here, Director of FamilyLife Blended. Did you know Blended &amp;amp; Blessed\u2014the only worldwide livestream designed for couples and blended families\u2014is free this year? Saturday, April 18, we're going to be live in Oklahoma City. If you show up there, we're going to charge you for lunch. But other than that, it is free to livestream. Churches can bring a group of couples together, and enjoy the day, absolutely free. \r\n\r\nGayla Grace is going to be with us; Davey and Kristi Blackburn; Cheryl Shumake\u2019s going to be with us; Kathi Lipp; and Bryan Goins, our emcee. It's going to be a wonderful day; I hope you can join us. Learn more and get the link in the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn (15:05):\r\n\r\nWhat about the person, who\u2019s listening and thinking\u2014\"You guys are just alarmists; you're taking it way over the top. When I come home, this has helped my anxiety; it's helped my loneliness. I'm just talking to this AI companion as a friend. I'm just kind of rehashing what's going on, and it's been really helpful. I've told my husband about it. I don't get why you're making such a big deal about this. And to be honest, I don't have time every day to get in the Word. This is kind of like\u2014it's not Jesus\u2014but it's somebody with skin on, in a way.\u201d What would you say to those\/that person?\r\n\r\nRon (15:43):\r\n\r\nNo, there's no skin.\r\n\r\nAnn (15:45):\r\n\r\nBut they can see something.\r\n\r\nRon (15:47):\r\n\r\nYou created the skin.\r\n\r\nTwo quick thoughts come to mind. When the internet became an easy way to find pornography, I remember saying to people, \u201cOh, no; this is going to get bad.\u201d I had people look at me, like, \u201cYou're just an alarmist. This is not going to be a big deal.\u201d And here we are\u2014let's all look back\u2014we all know what's real and how much porn is impacting people's lives, and kids, the age of seven. \r\n\r\nThe other thought that comes to mind is: 32 years ago, I was in graduate school. One of my professors said something I've never forgotten. He said: \u201cA lot of people argue over what addiction is,\u201d and \u201cHow do you know you have one?\u201d He said, \u201cBasically, when you can't do life without the thing, you're attached to it in an unhealthy way. Anybody who says, \u2018Hey, this is not harming anybody; we\u2019re just friends. This is how I cool my jets. This is how I figure out: \u201cHow am I going to do life tomorrow?\u201d\u2019\u201d \u201cOkay; then, give it up.\u201d \u201cOh, no; I don't want to give it up.\u201d \u201cOkay; then, you can't do life without the thing; that's an idol. It is standing between you and your total trust in God\u2014your reliance, and dependence, and surrender to Him\u2014and it needs to go.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (17:09):\r\n\r\nI remember, Ron\u2014boy, it had to be 25 years ago\u2014I did a sermon on the weekend at my church on alcohol. One of the practical things I said was exactly what you just said. I said, \u201cHey, if you don't think it's a problem in your life, give it up for 30 days. Just give it up for 30 days\u2014not a drink for 30 days\u2014and I want to hear from you how that went.\u201d \r\n\r\nI cannot tell you: hundreds of people said, \u201cI didn't think it was an issue. I could barely make it 30 days without a beer.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014\"or a glass of wine.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: It was just like, \u2018Wow! I really didn't realize every night that glass,\u2019\u201d\u2014and he goes\u2014\"I'm not an alcoholic; I'm not getting drunk. But just having a drink\u2014it was much more important to me than I realized\u2014and just a 30-day experiment revealed it.\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (18:02):\r\n\r\nNot too long ago, our church asked all of us to give something up for a week. We were all fasting from something. Nan and I talked about it, and we decided to give up social media and a couple other things. I'm one of those guys who spends about ten minutes on social media a day. I kind of like it\u2014sort of don't\u2014I feel obligated. I jump in; and then, I'm like, \u201cYeah, I don't know what's here.\u201d I really didn't think that was going to be a big deal. I felt it every single day; because there's moments, where I get bored. \r\n\r\nHere's what I noticed out of that fast. I'm watching a basketball game, and I'm loving every minute of it; and they cut to a commercial. I want to go to Instagram and scroll for two minutes until the game comes back on.\r\n\r\nAnn (18:43):\r\n\r\nDave and I both do this.\r\n\r\nRon (18:45):\r\n\r\n\u201cWhy do I do that?\u201d I started chasing my pain: \u201cWhat is it?\u201d \u201cOh, it's a moment of boredom; and I can get a dopamine hit from Instagram right here, right now.\u201d You begin to recognize: \u201cNo, this has a bigger attachment on me than I realized. I really need to be in charge of this.\u201d \r\n\r\nAs I sum up our conversation today\u2014this is sort of what hits me\u2014AI can be a friend: it can be a quick answer to things; it can make you more efficient in your work; it can teach you some good stuff; it can be a nice AI assistant, a wonderful resource.\r\n\r\nAnn (19:19):\r\n\r\nSo helpful.\r\n\r\nRon (19:20):\r\n\r\nBut if we let it, it will become our lover; it will become our god, and that should not be.\r\n\r\nAnn (19:27):\r\n\r\nI'm just thinking of a lot of parents\u2014maybe, of adult kids\u2014and they know their kids are doing this. They're worried about it. \u201cDo we, as parents of adult children, say anything?\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (19:39):\r\n\r\nI know you guys are talking about this in your household. Nan and I are talking about this in our household. I want to say three things. \r\n\r\nThe first thing is pray; pray. Because, moment to moment, you're unsure what to do in any given situation. \r\n\r\nThe other quality is\u2014Jim Burns has taught all of us: \u201cMost of the time, you need to keep your mouth shut; and you to let your kids be adults. You need to keep the welcome mat out\u201d\u2014as he says\u2014\"and be available. If they bring it to you, absolutely speak in; because then, your influence is welcomed at that point in time. But pushing yourself into their spaces, be really cautious and hesitant about that.\u201d\r\n\r\nNow, having said that\u2014if there's danger, we would all jump in\u2014if they were driving a car that was on fire; if they were walking over to the edge of a cliff, and didn't see it, we would speak up to those sorts of things. At some point, I do think there is a space where we do need to speak to our adult children; but how you do that is absolutely critical. It's one thing to say, \u201cMan, you're on your phone all the time. What are you doing? Is that Google-god really running your life over?\u201d Okay, well, now,\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn (20:43):\r\n\r\nI might've just done that, last night, to one of my sons.\r\n\r\nRon (20:45):\r\n\r\n\u2014I'm shutting you down with that tone; with that, that's me parenting you. So with an adult child, it's really important that we come alongside, soft and say, \r\n\r\nYou know how much I love you. \r\n\r\nBy the way, I like to preference, and say, \u201cI've had to do this a time or two.\u201d\r\n\r\nYou know how much I love you, and you know how much I take your independence seriously. I don't want to step on toes; and I don't want to be dad, always telling you what to do. Having said that, I have some concern. I've noticed a couple of things. I'd just like to share my heart with you. I'm for you on this; I want us to figure this thing out together. \r\n\r\nOkay, so I've noticed this AI-thing; it's kind of an ongoing conversation for you. It just feels like, maybe, it's grabbing a little bit of your heart. What do you think? \r\n\r\nOkay, so that whole tone is what I'm going for is: adult; I'm not speaking down, parent-child. I'm trying to say, \u201cI'm delicate here; I'm watching my space. Forgive me if I'm stepping on toes\u201d; and yet, I'm getting to the point. I'm opening up the conversation. And even if, at that point, I think your adult child says, \u201cYeah, no; I'm not having this conversation with you,\u201d you've still said something; it's still there. You let it go and trust that, somehow, that maybe opens the door to a further conversation later.\r\n\r\nAnn (22:11):\r\n\r\nI always say\u2014Dave and I always say\u2014\u201cAs they get older, you say less and you pray more.\u201d If you are going to enter into that conversation, I would be so prayed up. I'd have your friends praying for you. Not that you're telling your friends everything about your kids; but you're saying, \u201cHey, I'm going to have a conversation with one of my kids. Will you just keep that in prayer?\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (22:30):\r\n\r\nIt's good.\r\n\r\nAnn (22:31):\r\n\r\nBecause it is delicate. And the way you shared that, and talk, Ron, was incredibly humble.\r\n\r\nDave (22:37):\r\n\r\nYeah, it was a great modeling. If you're that parent\u2014rewind; listen to that modeling that Ron just gave you again\u2014because it's the way you want to step in. That could be true of a 21-\/22-year-old college kid as well as a 30\/35-year-old adult, married. Either way, you want to come in gently; but also, you have something very important to say; and maybe, God's going to use that to change their life.\r\n\r\nRon (23:02):\r\n\r\nAnd you know what? I think you can take the exact same approach with your spouse. See, one of the things we do, when we get anxious in a marriage, is we become parental toward our spouse. As soon as you become parental toward your spouse, you're just asking them to ignore you and oppose you, as Scripture would say. \r\n\r\nThe adult\/adult\u2014the softening\u2014the: \u201cI see this\u2026I'm for you; I'm with you. I'm here to help.\u201d That same strategy is how we, as Nan would say, offer a care-confrontation to one another, as husbands and wives, every once in a while. It's a care-for-you; it's not a confront-you, and tell you how to live life.\r\n\r\nDave (23:40):\r\n\r\nGood stuff, man. I would never have thought, in the last 40 years of my life, we'd ever have a conversation about AI companions; but I think it's just the beginning of many conversations.\r\n\r\nRon (23:52):\r\n\r\nI think you\u2019re right.\r\n\r\nAnn (23:52):\r\n\r\nThanks for filling us in: giving us wisdom and even some action steps to take. I think the first place to look is our own lives: \u201cJesus, what do You want me to know about this?\u201d \u201cWhat do You want me to do about this?\u201d I think that's a good start.\r\n\r\nRon (24:05):\r\n\r\nThanks, guys. \r\n\r\nDave: Before we're done today, let me just say this: at FamilyLife, we really believe strong families can change the world. And when you become a FamilyLife Partner, you help make that happen.\r\n\r\nAnn (24:17):\r\n\r\nYour monthly gift helps us equip marriages and families with biblical tools that they can count on.\r\n\r\nDave (24:22):\r\n\r\nAnd we also want to send you exclusive updates; behind the scenes access; and an invitation to our private Partner community, which is pretty cool. So join us, and let's reach families and marriages together.\r\n\r\nAnn (24:34):\r\n\r\nAnd you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and click the \u201cDonate\u201d button to join today.\r\n\r\nDave (24:43):\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nCelebrating 50 years God\u2019s faithfulness as marriages grow stronger and families flourish in Him.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?\r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2026 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife.com\n","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/318143","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=318143"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/295627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=318143"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=318143"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=318143"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=318143"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=318143"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=318143"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}