{"id":317932,"date":"2026-03-10T04:13:19","date_gmt":"2026-03-10T08:13:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/marriage-secrets-that-almost-broke-us-ron-and-nan-deal\/"},"modified":"2026-03-10T04:13:21","modified_gmt":"2026-03-10T08:13:21","slug":"marriage-secrets-that-almost-broke-us-ron-and-nan-deal","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-secrets-that-almost-broke-us-ron-and-nan-deal\/","title":{"rendered":"Marriage Secrets That Almost Broke Us: Ron and Nan Deal"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When grief, hidden pain, and addiction collide, even strong marriages can crack. Ron and Nan Deal share their searing journey through loss, an alcoholic spouse, and buried marriage secrets that nearly destroyed them. From Nan\u2019s yoga-mat surrender to God\u2019s radical grace, they reveal how confession, trust-building, and God\u2019s mercy restored hope, intimacy, and passion after decades of struggle. Courage, honesty, and faith show the path to true redemption.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ron and Nan Deal get real with Dave and Ann Wilson about their journey through loss, Nan\u2019s alcoholism, and buried secrets that nearly ended them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":295627,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/ac9820d6-2651-4b40-91aa-b3fc015e3a8b\/audio.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:55","filesize":"22.85M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2840,2860,2879],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[11405],"cwp_profile":[3629,3300],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-317932","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-addiction","category-hardship-and-suffering","category-loss-of-a-child","podcast_series-marriage-secrets-that-almost-broke-us-ron-and-nan-deal","cwp_profile-nan-deal","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Cover_1024x1024.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/317932\/marriage-secrets-that-almost-broke-us-ron-and-nan-deal","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/317932\/marriage-secrets-that-almost-broke-us-ron-and-nan-deal","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"iqZnOpZuvH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-secrets-that-almost-broke-us-ron-and-nan-deal\/\">Marriage Secrets That Almost Broke Us: Ron and Nan Deal<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-secrets-that-almost-broke-us-ron-and-nan-deal\/embed\/#?secret=iqZnOpZuvH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Marriage Secrets That Almost Broke Us: Ron and Nan Deal&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"iqZnOpZuvH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Cover_1024x1024.jpg",1024,1024,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Ron and Nan Deal get real with Dave and Ann Wilson about their journey through loss, Nan\u2019s alcoholism, and buried secrets that nearly ended them.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"\n<ul>\n<li>Get Ron and Nan Deal's book <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/the-mindful-marriage-create-your-best-relationship-through-understanding-and-managing-yourself\/\">The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself,<\/a> find it now in our shop.<\/li>\n<li>Register for the Blended and Blessed conference (live at Crossings Church Mayfair, Oklahoma City, or free livestream) on April 18, 2026 at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blendedandblessed.com\/\">blendedandblessed.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Connect with Ron on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/ron.l.deal\/\">Instagram<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/RonLDeal\">X<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lovelikeyoumeanitcruise.com\/\">Set sail on the Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise!<\/a> Now through 3\/31\/26, use promo code <strong>CruiseMadness27<\/strong> and enjoy exclusive savings on your stateroom.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr>\n<ul>\n<li>Thanks to the Christian Standard Bible for sponsoring this episode. Learn more at <a href=\"https:\/\/CSBible.com\">CSBible.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Follow us on all social platforms: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/familylifeministry\">Facebook<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/familylife.today\/\">Instagram<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/playlist?list=PLSzse1nmlqbLhDx5FpGVDgLmxy1rmQBau\">YouTube<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find resources from our podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Download <a href=\"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2026-03-10.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript\r\n\r\nThis content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nMarriage Secrets That Almost Broke Us\r\n\r\nGuests:Ron and Nan Deal\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Marriage Secrets That Almost Broke Us (Day 2 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:March 10, 2026\r\n\r\nRon (00:04):\r\n\r\nThere was a little window of time, where we were struggling, and working on some things. She started making some changes. I came to her one day, and said, \u201cI just want to let you know I've noticed you doing this and this; and I just want to thank you for that.\u201d And she said, \u201cYeah, I knew you'd applaud that just as soon as you figured it out.\u201d I realized she was faking; she was just putting on airs. Right then, I made a decision: \u201cI'm not really trusting her.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (00:39):\r\n\r\nWelcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Dave Wilson.\r\n\r\nAnn (00:46):\r\n\r\nAnd I'm Ann Wilson. And you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nDave (00:59):\r\n\r\nSo we've been on quite a journey with Ron and Nan Deal.\r\n\r\nAnn (01:02):\r\n\r\nWe love them so much. They've been sharing their story, and it's been raw and intimate.\r\n\r\nDave (01:07):\r\n\r\nIt's beautiful, and it's unknown. Ron is the Director of our FamilyLife Blended ministry; he's a hero. And you would never know, behind the scenes, there was this journey that they were on in their marriage. Yesterday, Nan, at the end of our program, was just at this crucial moment where she's broken. God meets her in this moment. What He does is a miracle, and we get to hear that part of the story today. So here's Nan.\r\n\r\nNan (01:44):\r\n\r\nRon comes home from that trip; and the look he gave me was\u2014\r\n\r\nRon: \u2014\u201cI don\u2019t know who you are.\u201d \r\n\r\nNan: [Emotion in voice] I thought it was over. That next morning\u2014as school teachers, we don't know what we're supposed to do; we don't know how to zoom yet\u2014so they're just: \u201cJust stay at home.\u201d I don't have a job; I don't have anything. Ron gets up, and says, \u201cHey, I got to figure out work, online. I got to figure this out with my team.\u201d I'm left, sitting there; and I'm just like, \u201cI don't know what to do here. I know I don't have him; I know I don't have myself. I've apologized to both of them; and they both say, \u201cThere's nothing that you could do to make us not love you\u201d; like, \u201cI'm so sorry; please forgive me.\u201d\r\n\r\nBut then, that day, I'm like, \u201cHey, I got to do something.\u201d I'm like, \u201cOh, I'll go in my room and do yoga; that'll make me feel better.\u201d I go into our guest bedroom. I lay on my yoga mat, and I get on my back. I couldn't get up; I was just like [Emotion in voice]: \u201cI can't do this anymore!  I can't be angry anymore; I can't hurt anymore. I can't live like this anymore. I need Your help, God. I need You; and if You'll have me, I want to do it Your way.\u201d I cried for two hours; I said, \u201cI know I haven't gotten this right. I've never felt like I knew enough about You or trusted You with anything in my life. I always looked to other things or myself; but if You'd have me\u2026\u201d I got up that day, but I just felt so different. \r\n\r\n(03:37) Literally, that night, I didn't have anything to drink. I didn't take any of those pills, and I had not one withdrawal. I knew that that was God's grace and mercy on my life. I started thanking Him. I went to bed, going, \u201cI'm done.\u201d And He just said, \u201cOkay.\u201d It was really, literally, as if He picked me up off that mat; and He just took His hand, and He just wiped all of that black\u2014all of that; everything\u2014just wiped it all off. And He said, \u201cOkay, let's go.\u201d It was like God took a fire hose of His grace and mercy. \r\n\r\nIt was like Bible 101; I couldn't get enough of what He was trying to teach me, what He was trying to tell me. I'm not kidding: every single podcast, sermon\u2014everything\u2014was like: \u201cI'm going to teach you about this clean heart. I'm going to teach you about My grace, and My mercy, and My love.\u201d And then, it was about two months in, He said, \u201cIt's time for you to tell Ron; you need to start confessing.\u201d \r\n\r\nI went in, and I told you everything. I had, also, during that time, researched what alcohol and certain drugs did to each other and together. I figured out why I had some memory lapses\u2014and there were some things that were so hard for Ron\u2014some things, that I'd get up and scream at him in the night; and get so angry; and I didn't even know I'd done some of those things, which is not an excuse. God was just leading me, by the hand, into redemption.\r\n\r\nAnn (05:05):\r\n\r\nRon, you probably see Nan having this turn. Tell us what's going on in your mind.\r\n\r\nRon (05:14):\r\n\r\nWell, I did see it. I think I did the same thing she did, 14 years earlier, when I was convicted, when I came to the end of myself. I liked what I saw, and I didn't trust it; there were so many triggers in my heart. A few years before Nan's\u2014we call it \u201cthe miracle on the yoga mat\u201d\u2014before that moment happened, there was a little window of time, where we were struggling, and working on some things. She started making some changes. I came to her, one day, and said, \u201cI just want to let you know I've noticed you doing this and this, and I just want to thank you for that.\u201d And she said, \u201cYeah, I knew you'd applaud that just as soon as you figured it out.\u201d I realized she was faking; she was just putting on airs. Right then, I made a decision: \u201cI'm not really trusting her.\u201d \r\n\r\nSo fast forward\u2014now, \u201cmiracle on the yoga mat\u201d happens\u2014I'm going, \u201cYeah, right. Come on; how long is this going to last?\u201d I was trying to be as godly as I could be, but I would not trust her.\r\n\r\nNan (06:24):\r\n\r\nAnd God kept saying to me, \u201cStay in your lane; stay with Me. Stay in this lane with Me.\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (06:30):\r\n\r\nAnd that's what she did. She just kept walking that road of confession and\u2014\r\n\r\nNan (06:35):\r\n\r\n\u201cIt doesn't matter what he thinks.\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (06:36):\r\n\r\nYeah, just you and God.\r\n\r\nNan (06:38):\r\n\r\n\u201cYou and Me.\u201d\r\n\r\nI got a book by Linda Dillow about prayer. I started praying those prayers and learning how to pray to God. I started memorizing Scripture, letting the light back in. I started figuring out how God wanted me to transform my mind and my heart. Forgiveness\u2014I started confessing, like nobody's business, to anybody I could tell\u2014the boys first, and my daughter-in-law, friends, family, anybody I felt like I had hurt.\r\n\r\nRon (07:10):\r\n\r\nLet me just say: somewhere, in the middle of all of this journey for her, what I noticed\u2014that I finally began to lean into\u2014was, instead of her running to me\u2014that's how our marriage started; I was her savior, and whatever I wanted, that's what she would try to do to make me happy. She was not living for Ron anymore; she was living for God.\r\n\r\nAnn (07:33):\r\n\r\nThat's what I was going to say.\r\n\r\nRon (07:34):\r\n\r\nThat was a radical change that was very, very clear to me. It just took a long enough road for me to go: \u201cThis is real; this is not phony. There's something here, and I need to get on board.\u201d And then, I was convicted that I hadn't been trusting her enough. I hadn't been supporting her, and leaning into\u2014bringing her my trust\u2014would be a statement of affirmation about her value and worth to me. \r\n\r\nSo then, I had work to do; it wasn't just\u2014\u201cShe's got to get her life together,\u201d\u2014no, it's always a two-person journey; that's what marriage is.\r\n\r\nNan (08:14):\r\n\r\nThat year, on Mother's Day, we go up to visit my mom.\r\n\r\nRon (08:22):\r\n\r\nShe said some things to her mother; and I was like, \u201cWow!\u201d\r\n\r\nNan (08:24):\r\n\r\nYeah, I said some things to my mom. I just said, \u201cMom, I just want to thank you for being my mom. Thank you for taking me to the library;\u2014my love of books, my love of teaching,\u201d\u2014my mom was a teacher. My sister looked at me, and she goes, \u201cOh, that was cool.\u201d And Ron looked at me, and he goes, \u201cNow, I know something's changed in you.\u201d \r\n\r\nDave (08:47):\r\n\r\nThat was real; that was from the heart.\r\n\r\nNan (08:50):\r\n\r\nThat was Holy Spirit right there. Then, on our way home, we stopped at the cemetery\u2014it had been 12 Mother's Days\u2014and I remember going to Connor's grave. I said [Emotion in voice], \u201cSon, it's not good that you're not here for me to hug on Mother's Day; but God is good. God is good all the time.\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (09:17):\r\n\r\nSince Connor's death, I hadn't heard her say anything like [Emotion in voice]: \u201cGod, I can trust You.\u201d I was like, \u201cOkay, God's done something here; and I just got to figure out what it is. I just got to try to join in the process.\u201d\r\n\r\nWe tell people: \u201cCOVID was really good for us to help us lean into Him in ways that we just couldn't quite do together; and then, lean into one another in new and radical ways.\u201d\r\n\r\nNan (09:56):\r\n\r\nRegeneration is a 12-step process\u2014and it's not just for addictions\u2014I had a lady in my group; she said, \u201cI'm just angry at everything. My thing is anger.\u201d Some people come for pride\u2014but it was \u201cInventory,\u201d the fourth step, that busted me wide open\u2014I thought Ron had cornered the market on pride, and his family had; nope, I'm right there with him\u2014I was a very prideful person in my hurt, and my pain, and my loss. \r\n\r\n(10:34) One thing I learned in my recovery is that I'm not the defender of my heart. I've been trying to do that for so long, defending myself from pain, abandonment, words, overworking, loss. Music has always been such a balm for me and such a place to go. I learned that God is the defender of my heart. There's a Psalm called Defender, and I love this line\u2014this is the line that just floored me in this song\u2014it says: \u201cWhen I thought I'd lost me, You knew where I'd left me. You reintroduced me to Your love. You picked up all my pieces and put them back together. You are the defender of my heart.\u201d I can just see the Lord, with that shield and that sword, going, \u201cOkay, fears, shame\u2014anything\u2014He's defending that now, and I can rest in that. I can go to Him with my losses.\u201d Ron could overwork\u2014he can; all of that stuff could happen again; I could lose another child\u2014but I know that God has never left me nor forsaken me, and that He never will.\r\n\r\nRon (11:56):\r\n\r\nAnd even more, He has been chasing you down; chasing me down.\r\n\r\nNan (12:00):\r\n\r\nHe's been pursuing us. I just love how He tried to take care of our marriage, two years before Connor left; because I really honestly know we wouldn't have made it without His provision. Even though I was still a mess, it's kind of like He had to take turns on working on us. \r\n\r\nI want to read Ephesians 2:1-10. I hope and pray that I spend the rest of my days telling everybody, who will listen, how good God has been to me; He could take a wretch, like me, and He can change that hardened heart\u2014that heart in Ezekiel\u2014the heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. I have so much more work to do;\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: We all do.\r\n\r\nNan: \u2014but I cannot thank Him enough for His grace, and His mercy, and His love.\r\n\r\nRon (13:02):\r\n\r\nIt\u2019s so sweet.\r\n\r\nNan (13:04):\r\n\r\nEphesians 2:1-10: \u201cAnd you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of the world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience, among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature, children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God,\u2014\r\n\r\nRon (13:37):\r\n\r\n\u2014\"But God\u2014\r\n\r\nNan (13:38):\r\n\r\n\u2014\u201cbeing rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ. By grace you have been saved; and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus; so that, in the coming ages, He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace and kindness towards us in Christ Jesus. For by grace, you have been saved, through faith, and this is not your own doing,\u201d\u2014I could not have stopped on my own. \u201cIt is a gift of God, not a result of works,\u201d\u2014because Nan cannot do anything here\u2014\"so that no one may boast; for we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.\u201d\r\n\r\nI was knit together in my mother's womb; I am fearfully and wonderfully made.\r\n\r\nAnn: You are. \r\n\r\nRon (14:40):\r\n\r\nOur marriage is like everybody else's marriage: it is making us more into the image of Jesus. \r\n\r\nIf I have one frustration, it's that it seems to take a long time: \u201cCan we just get there?\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014doesn't it, Ron? Why can't it be shorter? \r\n\r\nRon: \u201cCan we just get there?\u201d But I just don't think it works that way.\r\n\r\nDave (15:04):\r\n\r\nYeah. Where's your marriage now?\r\n\r\nRon (15:06):\r\n\r\nOh, man;\u2014\r\n\r\nNan: It\u2019s so good. \r\n\r\nRon: \u2014we are enjoying each other; we like each other.\r\n\r\nDave (15:12):\r\n\r\nDoes it feel like a different marriage?\u2014or a new marriage?\u2014or a real marriage?\r\n\r\nRon (15:16):\r\n\r\nAbsolutely.\r\n\r\nNan (15:16):\r\n\r\nYes, it does.\r\n\r\nRon (15:16):\r\n\r\nAbsolutely.\r\n\r\nNan: It does. \r\n\r\nRon: We sort of laugh that we have the passion, and the energy, and the drive that we had when we first fell in love; but now, we actually have some maturity to go with it, so we don't act like fools in the midst of our passion. \r\n\r\nWe are so grateful; it's gratitude. We wake up\u2014\r\n\r\nNan: It's gratitude.\r\n\r\nRon: \u2014grateful, every day, for that mercy. We remember who we were, and we know what we can become. Part of what we're teaching, out of this, these days is:\r\n\r\nWhat I know about me is I could be prideful\u2014and I've got to manage that\u2014and \u201cLord, help me; because when I do these things, this is who I become\u2026and this is what it does to my marriage.\u201d \r\n\r\nAnd Nan knows: \u201cWhat I know about me is I can feel abandoned, and I can run to something that's going to numb me. Instead, I got to stay in the game and can't do that.\u201d \r\n\r\nAll of these hard, hard lessons are teaching us how to, somewhat, reflect the image of Christ. I hesitate to even say that\u2014I feel so far away\u2014but at least, I feel like we're closer; we\u2019re much, much more closer.\r\n\r\nDave (16:29):\r\n\r\nOne of the best things we do every year is go on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise with FamilyLife.\r\n\r\nAnn (16:34):\r\n\r\nAnd who doesn't want to go on a cruise, in the middle of winter, basically.\r\n\r\nDave (16:39):\r\n\r\nBut it's a cruise with a purpose. You get to work on your marriage. You got Christian bands on board; you got speakers; you got workshops; you got the whole boat is FamilyLife.\r\n\r\nAnn (16:50):\r\n\r\nIt's pretty remarkable, and there's nothing quite like it.\r\n\r\nDave (16:53):\r\n\r\nYeah. And there's a sale going on, right now through the 17th of March. I'm telling you what: you want to get in on this sale.\r\n\r\nAnn (17:02):\r\n\r\nThe cruise is February 13-20, in 2027; and it will fill up quickly.\r\n\r\nDave (17:08):\r\n\r\nJust go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and click on the banner for the Love Like You Mean It cruise; and go get a tan with us. \r\n\r\nDave: What do you say to the couple, who's got secrets that you had\u2014or it could be totally different secrets\u2014but they've got pain; they've got darkness nobody knows. We didn't know about yours. They're listening right now, and they're like, \u201cI am scared, to death, to say out loud to my spouse or to anybody what I'm struggling with.\u201d\r\n\r\nNan: Sure.\r\n\r\nRon (17:40):\r\n\r\nI would say a couple of things. Finding a safe person to tell is the good first start. And honestly, it might not be your spouse; it might not be at all.\r\n\r\nDave (17:54):\r\n\r\nAnd it may not be a counselor\u2014\r\n\r\nRon: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014it could be\u2014but it could be a friend.\r\n\r\nRon (17:56):\r\n\r\nSomebody who is a safe person. \r\n\r\nHere's the thing\u2014I can totally relate to what I'm about to say\u2014there are moments, where you just feel so overwhelmed; you cannot see the path out of this mess. Take the next right step, whatever that next thing is you feel called to do.\r\n\r\nAnd \u201cHow do I put on kindness in this moment?\u201d\u2014that feels so small compared, sometimes, to the size of the mountain you have to climb; you just think, \u201cWhat's the point? It's not even worth it\u201d; but that is the next right thing to do. You never know what God is doing behind the scenes. You never know what the next step's going to be; you never know what fruit that's going to bear. Just be faithful in the next step.\r\n\r\nNan (18:43):\r\n\r\nI would say, \u201cYou've got to submit yourself to God.\u201d I love James 4:7\u2014it may sound so simple\u2014but I had not submitted myself to God; I hadn't. And I wasn't resisting the enemy; I wasn't. I wasn't drawing near to God; I didn't want Him to draw near to me; I didn't feel worthy. I'd just say, \u201cSubmit yourself to God; cry out to Him.\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (19:08):\r\n\r\nAnd that means submitting your pain, and your anger, and your animosity, and your\u2014whatever it is; the ugliness of it all\u2014that has to be submitted too.\r\n\r\nAnn (19:20):\r\n\r\nI've been crying the whole time. I feel like the studio has become this holy sanctuary because of your story, because of your honesty; but mainly, because the hero of the story is not Ron Deal.\r\n\r\nRon (19:35):\r\n\r\nThat's right; that's right.\r\n\r\nAnn (19:37):\r\n\r\nThis hero, for me, is not Dave Wilson. The hero is Jesus, Who died for us; and He has redeemed us; it's a miracle. As I listen, I'm like, \u201cMan, we all need a miracle on the mat.\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (19:51):\r\n\r\nYes.\r\n\r\nAnn (19:53):\r\n\r\nI even think of the wrestling mat, when they thought, \u201cYes, you're down; you're pinned.\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (19:57):\r\n\r\nAnd what do you do?\u2014tap three times when you surrender.\r\n\r\nAnn (20:00):\r\n\r\nYes!\r\n\r\nRon: \u201cI'm down.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: It's like that surrender moment\u2014it's not: \u201cYour husband needs to be better,\u201d or \u201cYour wife needs to do this\u2026\u201d\u2014it's that our God is pursuing us and wooing us in there, every second of the day; and He's longing for us to call upon His name. That's all you did, Nan. You just called: \u201cI can't do it!\u201d And He's like, \u201cI'm right here.\u201d And when I hear that, I'm like, \u201cIt's the gospel.\u201d\r\n\r\nRon (20:27):\r\n\r\nAnd you said \u201csanctuary\u201d\u2014this place is that, because that's what we do is worship.\r\n\r\nAnn (20:31):\r\n\r\nYes.\r\n\r\nRon (20:31):\r\n\r\nOur whole marriage\u201436 years\u2014we've heard the: \u201cDo the devotional every day,\u201d-thing; and hit or miss; yes; no seasons sort of\u2014let me tell you: we are doing that now. And it is beautiful. It is fresh; it is genuine; it is authentic. Sometimes, we're processing things that happened yesterday; sometimes, three years ago; or twenty years ago. We're seeing it in a very different light, and we're seeing God's work in the midst of all of it. And we know this journey's not over. Please don't hear me say: \u201cHey, isn't this a great little \u2018Tie a bow around it, and it's done?\u2019\u2014no.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (21:09):\r\n\r\nWhat year are you in marriage?\r\n\r\nRon (21:11):\r\n\r\nThirty-six.\r\n\r\nDave (21:11):\r\n\r\nSee, that's hopeful. So many couples, at 20\/30, they're just stale; they're going through the motions, and they think, \u201cThe best is behind us. We had some great years, but we'll just ride to the end.\u201d And you're saying, \u201cNo, the best could be [around the corner]\u2014\r\n\r\nRon: Absolutely. \r\n\r\nDave: \u2014\"but it requires total surrender.\u201d\r\n\r\nNan (21:30):\r\n\r\nI'll say this too: \u201cBring it into the light, because Satan wants no more than to keep you isolated and to keep it in the darkness.\u201d In Psalm 139, if you read further down, the darkness is as light to Him. When I started confessing that, and confessing that, and confessing that\u2014and then, letting a mentor speak into me, letting the light in and not hiding in the closet anymore\u2014I, literally, was in my closet at night. \r\n\r\nI have a cool story. Ron would fall asleep; I would get mad. He had given to everyone\u2014we know the story\u2014he'd given to everybody, and not to me. He'd fallen asleep. I'd do my thing; I'd be in the closet. I used to hide stuff in there because I didn't want anybody know. I'd hide bottles; I'd hide this; I'd hide that. But in my recovery, and in this redemption, I started going into my closet to pray, and get on my knees.\r\n\r\nDave (22:33):\r\n\r\nPrayer closet.\r\n\r\nNan (22:34):\r\n\r\nYes.\r\n\r\nDave (22:35):\r\n\r\nWow; redeem it. \r\n\r\nNan (22:36):\r\n\r\nI got on my knees one day, and I got on my face before God; because I needed Him to restore my marriage. I knew how broken that bridge of trust was out. I'm on my face before God. I got my hands up, and I'm just praying to Him. Out of the clothes comes an empty bottle in front of my face\u2014tink\u2014that I had no idea was still in there.\r\n\r\n(23:01) And He said, \u201cYou know what? We're doing this in here now; not that. I am God, and you think I can't restore your marriage? I can because I am your God and I've got you.\u201d I didn't keep that bottle; I threw it away. \r\n\r\nI'm just so grateful. God is the God of your addiction; God is the God of your secrets; tell Him first, and start confessing\u2014find a friend; find a community\u2014take that step. The enemy would want no more than for you to be trapped and in that for the rest of your life. He [the enemy] wanted to seek, and kill, and destroy me; and God has come to give life.\r\n\r\nAnn (23:55):\r\n\r\nYou've been listening to FamilyLife Today. Ron and Nan Deal have shared an incredible story and journey that they've been on; God just redeemed and restored their marriage.\r\n\r\nDave (24:07):\r\n\r\nAnd He can do the same thing for your marriage. I would really encourage you pick up their book. You can find it at FamilyLifeToday.com; just click on the link in the show notes.\r\n\r\nAnn (24:15):\r\n\r\nIt's called The Mindful Marriage.\r\n\r\nDave (24:17):\r\n\r\nAlso something that Ron and Nan lead is our Blended ministry, here at FamilyLife. Every year, they do a Blended &amp;amp; Blessed conference that you can livestream from your home.\r\n\r\nAnn (24:28):\r\n\r\n\u2014for free!\r\n\r\nDave (24:29):\r\n\r\nYeah, you can actually go to it [in person] if you want. You can register at FamilyLifeToday.com, and click on that as well.\r\n\r\nAnn (24:34):\r\n\r\nIt's at Crossings Church, Mayfair, [Oklahoma]. Maybe, you can make it. \r\n\r\nHey, thanks for being with us on FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nDave (24:45):\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nCelebrating 50 years of helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?\r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2026 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife.com\n","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/317932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=317932"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/295627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=317932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=317932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=317932"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=317932"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=317932"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=317932"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}