{"id":317542,"date":"2026-01-28T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-01-28T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/overwhelmed-by-parenthood-heres-your-gospel-reset-adam-and-chelsea-griffin\/"},"modified":"2026-01-29T02:48:25","modified_gmt":"2026-01-29T07:48:25","slug":"overwhelmed-by-parenthood-heres-your-gospel-reset-adam-and-chelsea-griffin","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/overwhelmed-by-parenthood-heres-your-gospel-reset-adam-and-chelsea-griffin\/","title":{"rendered":"Overwhelmed by Parenthood? Here\u2019s Your Gospel Reset: Adam and Chelsea Griffin"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Parenting can feel like a spotlight on everything you wish you did better. Authors Adam and Chelsea Griffin of the Family Discipleship Podcast get it\u2014and they bring gospel oxygen to shame-soaked moms and dads. With honesty, humor, and hard-won hope, they unpack why comparison crushes us, confession frees us, and remembering you\u2019re God\u2019s beloved child changes everything. If you\u2019re craving relief, this conversation feels like a deep breath.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Adam and Chelsea Griffin bring gospel oxygen to shame-soaked moms and dads.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":295627,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/238867eb-a05c-4fab-adbe-b3d3010ba2bf\/audio.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:55","filesize":"22.85M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2806],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[11244],"cwp_profile":[11245],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-317542","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-development","podcast_series-parenthood-adam-and-chelsea-griffin","cwp_profile-adam-and-chelsea-griffin","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Cover_1024x1024.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/317542\/overwhelmed-by-parenthood-heres-your-gospel-reset-adam-and-chelsea-griffin","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/317542\/overwhelmed-by-parenthood-heres-your-gospel-reset-adam-and-chelsea-griffin","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"FvAeDnoxws\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/overwhelmed-by-parenthood-heres-your-gospel-reset-adam-and-chelsea-griffin\/\">Overwhelmed by Parenthood? Here\u2019s Your Gospel Reset: Adam and Chelsea Griffin<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/overwhelmed-by-parenthood-heres-your-gospel-reset-adam-and-chelsea-griffin\/embed\/#?secret=FvAeDnoxws\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Overwhelmed by Parenthood? Here\u2019s Your Gospel Reset: Adam and Chelsea Griffin&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"FvAeDnoxws\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Cover_1024x1024.jpg",1024,1024,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Adam and Chelsea Griffin bring gospel oxygen to shame-soaked moms and dads.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.familydiscipleship.com\/books\">Get the book, \"Good News for Parents: How God Can Restore Our Joy and Relieve Our Burdens.<\/a>\"<\/li>\n<li>Listen in to The Family Dicipleship podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.familydiscipleship.com\/podcast\">familydiscipleship.com\/podcast<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/group-studies\/\">All small group kits and workbooks are 25% off January 6-31, 2026<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr>\n<ul>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2026-01-28.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript\r\n\r\nThis content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nOverwhelmed by Parenthood? Here\u2019s Your Gospel Reset\r\n\r\nGuests:Adam and Chelsea Griffin\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Parenthood (Day 1 of 3)\r\n\r\nAir date:January 28, 2026\r\n\r\nAdam (00:04):\r\n\r\nIf we could say that to every parent: \u201cJust remember your path is different than your spouse\u2019s,\u201d \u201cYour path is different than your kids\u2019,\u201d and \u201cYour path is certainly different than the family next door,\u201d\u2014\u201cYou do what?\u201d\u2014\"You just worry about following Jesus; and you mourn with those who mourn; you rejoice with those who rejoice, and you'd find freedom in that.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn (00:24):\r\n\r\nWelcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.\r\n\r\nDave (00:31):\r\n\r\nAnd I'm Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nDave: Well, I feel like I'm looking over at a younger version of us. \r\n\r\nAnn: You do? \r\n\r\nDave: I mean, he's got no hair. He's definitely many years younger.\r\n\r\nAnn (00:53):\r\n\r\nThis is a great couple. Our listeners are going to love listening today and getting some insight and wisdom from Chelsea and from Adam Griffin, because they're going to teach us some stuff that you're going to want. Maybe, as a listener, you've experienced this: Dave and I were married six years before we had kids. We were kind of in a groove, living out the gospel in our marriage. We were struggling, a little here and there; doing fairly well at times.\r\n\r\nDave (01:22):\r\n\r\n\u2014a little? We were struggling a lot.\r\n\r\nAnn (01:23):\r\n\r\nBut I'm saying, \u201cBy six years, we felt like, \u2018Okay, we've got it.\u2019\u201d Then, we had children; and suddenly, there's no fruit displayed. Instead of love, joy, peace, patience, I think it was all the opposite. I thought to myself, \u201cWho have I become?! I don't even know this person!\u201d I'm guessing some of our listeners have felt that, too: there's parts of you that come out in parenting; you don't even recognize who you are anymore.\r\n\r\nDave (01:51):\r\n\r\nSo you're the experts; you wrote a book on parenting. \r\n\r\nChelsea: That\u2019s not true. \r\n\r\nAdam: It depicts everybody.\r\n\r\nChelsea (01:57):\r\n\r\nHe has a book about the gospel.\r\n\r\nDave (01:59):\r\n\r\nOkay.\r\n\r\nAdam: And a podcast about discipling. \r\n\r\nDave: \u2014applied to parenting. \r\n\r\nAnn: There you go.\r\n\r\nDave: Did you experience that though? You got three boys; we have three boys. We don't even know what raising girls is like. We have granddaughters, but it's a different world. \r\n\r\nChelsea (02:13):\r\n\r\nThat\u2019s true.\r\n\r\nDave (02:13):\r\n\r\nSo did you experience some of that?\r\n\r\nChelsea (02:14):\r\n\r\nOur story's different. We didn't have time to think about whether or not we would have children. We had children right when we got married\u2014 \r\n\r\nAnn: Okay; right away.\r\n\r\nChelsea: \u2014a few months after we got married. \r\n\r\nDave: Was that a planned deal? \r\n\r\nChelsea: No.\r\n\r\nAdam (02:27):\r\n\r\nIt was my hope\u2014my plan with the Lord\u2014if that's what you mean.\r\n\r\nChelsea (02:32):\r\n\r\nYeah. After I told Adam that I was pregnant, he said that he had been praying for that. And I said, \"If you are praying for someone to get pregnant, you should tell them that\"; because the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. That would have been neat just to have a heads up. I had no idea; I was very surprised. I thought I had mono for two months because\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: Come on!\r\n\r\nChelsea: I thought, from people around me, who took a long time to get pregnant\u2014I'd heard that\u2014so I thought, \u201cThere's no way.\u201d I was like, \u201cI'm so tired; so surely, I probably have mono.\u201d I was coaching high school at the time. I was around kids all the time; and I'm like, \u201cI'm sure I'm just sick.\u201d \r\n\r\nOur story was going: \u201cWe're building all of it at the same time.\u201d\r\n\r\nAdam (03:12):\r\n\r\nWe're still learning each other at the same time we're figuring how to parent.\r\n\r\nAnn (03:15):\r\n\r\nOh, yeah; you\u2019re doing both. That\u2019s not easy either.\r\n\r\nAdam (03:16):\r\n\r\nYeah.\r\n\r\nChelsea (03:16):\r\n\r\nIt was fun!\r\n\r\nAnn (03:17):\r\n\r\nWas it fun?\r\n\r\nAdam (03:17):\r\n\r\nAt least, I did it without hair. I didn't have to grieve over the fact that my hair was going; it was already gone. That was a decision made, so that was nice.\r\n\r\nAnn (03:26):\r\n\r\nThe book is called Good News for Parents: How God Can Restore Our Joy and Relieve Our Burdens. Parents hear that, and are like, \u201cOkay; yes, I want that.\u201d Why this topic? Is it basically your heart for discipleship, as you just talked about?\r\n\r\nAdam (03:41):\r\n\r\nLast time I got to have a conversation with y'all, it was related to a book we were putting out called Family Discipleship with [Matt] Chandler, which is a very practical book. It's about spiritually leading your family, similar to maybe a book you'd pick up on premarital counseling: \u201cHow are we going to do this?\u201d \u201cHow are we going to think about spiritually leading our home?\u201d Some of the response we got from that book, while overwhelmingly positive about equipping people, in the practical nature, we heard what you might imagine\u2014you guys have heard a thousand times\u2014parents going, \"I can't read a book like that. I am overwhelmed. You give me practical advice; I feel worse. I feel like the bar got higher. You're just revealing, again, how awful I am as a parent.\" \r\n\r\n(04:29) We want, actually, Christian parents to walk in, going, \"Hey, I can actually be humble enough to receive any wisdom or advice you guys have to offer; because I trust the Lord. My burdens, I've cast them onto Him. My despair, I've turned to hope and to joy.\" We wanted to be able to write something that would address this kind of spiritual aspect and emotional aspect of parenting that would make it clear of this freedom to be able to receive the kind of wisdom you might have in any other parenting book. When you guys wrote on the fact that there's No Perfect Parents, I'm sure that similar vein was in your mind, going, \"If we write a book that says, \u2018Here's how to parent perfectly,\u2019 there's going to be a lot of parents, who go, \u2018Yeah, I can't do that. I couldn't even start that. And if I finished that book, I'd feel worse.\u2019\" \r\n\r\nThis book is really a gospel book that is reminding parents the freedom you have in Christ to make mistakes; the freedom you have in Christ to be imperfect; and you turn to a perfect Father, in the midst of it, and say, \"What does that mean that, not only my sins are covered, but I'm not parenting alone, that the God of the universe is parenting with me?\u201d Trying to encourage parents in a way that sets them free to read anything or follow anything as they try to parent and lead their families. That was kind of the heart behind the book.\r\n\r\nAnn (05:34):\r\n\r\nI mean, it's exactly Vertical Marriage: \u201cYou can't apply this without Jesus for more than a week. \u2018Okay, here's your game plan: \u201cGuys, just do this\u2026\u201d\u2019 They'll do it for about five days; and when their spouse doesn't return what they've been given, they're like, \u2018I'm out.\u2019\" You're saying the same thing: \u201cWhen we're connected to Jesus, and the gospel, we automatically, in our surrender, are displaying fruit.\u201d\r\n\r\nAdam (06:01):\r\n\r\nThat's right. I think there's a freedom that we would intellectually, as Christians, say, \"Oh, that's true of me. \" But then, we'd parent like it's not true of us. We parent like everything's on the line; we parent like, \"I'm not more than a conqueror.\" We parent like, \u201cI'm still under condemnation,\u201d\u2014not that there's no condemnation in Christ. \r\n\r\n(06:22) Part of that is\u2014not just a mindset change\u2014it's realizing what's true, and it's fighting back some lies. It's seeing how the fruit of the Spirit that God promises come from walking with Him really would be relief to our soul for all of the things that we struggle with the most\u2014things like exhaustion, things like anxiety, things like despair, things like bitterness\u2014that the Lord has called us out of those things, not into those things. It's so great that the fruit of the Spirit for the parent is not bitterness\u2014it's not\u2014\u201cIf you walk with the Lord, you will be bitter,\u201d or \u201cIf you walk with the Lord, you will be exhausted,\u201d or \u201cIf you walk with the Lord, you will be anxious.\u201d No, the fruit of the Spirit is so much better than that. That's kind of what we wanted to write from. \r\n\r\nWe have some friends, certainly, who were more in my mind as I wrote that are parents who really struggle and are feeling very weary. We\u2019re thinking, \u201cWhat would this mom\u201d \u201cWhat would this dad need to hear right now from the Word of God?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (07:03):\r\n\r\nHas there been a struggle for you guys? How old is your oldest?\r\n\r\nAdam (07:08):\r\n\r\nNever! Oh, yeah. \r\n\r\nChelsea: Our oldest is 13.\r\n\r\nDave (07:10):\r\n\r\nI know you're not perfect parents; but how do you live out what you just said?\u2014the gospel, in terms of three boys; imperfection every day. What's the messiness look like?\r\n\r\nChelsea (07:22):\r\n\r\nWe're watching our kids develop. I'm sure you guys remember, from when your kids were young, there's a temptation to try to force your kids into the vision that you have for them. It's hard to see your kids struggle. I wish that I could relieve my children of the struggles that I already see in them. I'm sure you guys relate to that. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, yes.\r\n\r\nChelsea: But when I see my children care deeply about what other people think of them, I wish they could know the unconditional love that is for them from their parents and from the Father, that they could be set free from that. I cannot physically, or any other way, make that happen; I cannot set them free. Those are the things that are, I think, really hard for me that I really have to surrender to the Lord and trust Him with it. And also, I recognize in that, that's how the Lord sees me.\r\n\r\nAdam (08:15):\r\n\r\nThat's right.\r\n\r\nChelsea (08:16):\r\n\r\nHe sees me caring what other people think. He sees me afraid sometimes. He sees me in that, and He would love to set me free completely; or love to see me just walk with reckless abandon through those things and trust Him completely. And yet, He's so patient with me. \r\n\r\nWatching our boys grow up, I just have to constantly turn these things over\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014constantly.\r\n\r\nChelsea: \u2014about what they will be like; what they're like today; how they're interacting with other people\u2014all of those things\u2014and I just can't control it.\r\n\r\nAdam (08:46):\r\n\r\nThat's right.\r\n\r\nChelsea (08:47):\r\n\r\nThat has to be a source of relief, not a source of anxiety.\r\n\r\nAdam (08:50):\r\n\r\nI think there's so many aspects of what you're talking about, Chelsea, that are realities, too. While we wrote about it, we also speak about it. This is true, Dave\u2014similar to what you're saying\u2014it's very clear to us that we are in desperate need of the same wisdom that, in the Scripture, we're trying to offer to other parents all the time. We don't share from a place of perfect strength and perfect parenting: \u201cLet us tell you how this is done.\u201d \r\n\r\nIn fact, even many of the things we wrote in the book, I thought, \u201cHow can I be more vulnerable here to say,  \u2018This is where I struggle\u2019?\u201d There's a chapter on inadequacy in there that is so my heart. As a pastor, as a dad, I feel inadequate. As a person who speaks on parenting, who's right now doing an interview on parenting that has left his kids at home to come do it and how that gets in my head about how my kids might one day grow up and go, \"Really? You were going to go talk to somebody else about parenting while you left us at home without you?\" That overwhelming sense\u2014Spurgeon calls it \u201cthis intense awareness of my own inadequacy\u201d\u2014I feel that all the time. I need the gospel to remind me what's true of me in the midst of that: that I am not just a filthy, worthless rag in the kingdom of God; but I'm an adopted son who was value enough that God would send His own Son to die for me. \r\n\r\n(10:08) In the midst of that, the voice of God would be\/the volume turned up in my life, where I really need it. So often, I hear the lies that's turned Jesus from my Advocate\u2014which is what the Scripture calls Him\u2014into the accuser, which is [what] the enemy is called. When I think\u2014because I found something true about me that, then, Jesus must be my accuser\u2014instead of the fact that Satan might use something true about me to accuse me, and that God might see that truth in me, and say, \"Yeah, yeah, yeah; but I have plucked that man out of that,\u201d which is what we see in Scripture. I need that comfort, from friends; from the Word of God; from my wife, certainly, as well. \r\n\r\nBut if your question is, Dave: \u201cWhere do we struggle?\u201d The [answer] is: \u201cWherever you see us,\u201d and \u201cWhen do we struggle?\u201d \u201cWhenever you've seen us, we've been struggling.\u201d There's not a perfect day for us, a perfect hour for us; but we follow a perfect God, who loves us better than we deserve.\r\n\r\nDave (10:54):\r\n\r\nI'd say one of the best things we've ever done for our marriage is not sit in a studio and record a podcast, or even stand on a stage and talk about marriage. It's having couples in our home, and we pour into their marriages.\r\n\r\nAnn (11:10):\r\n\r\nFor sure. And I think, too, even just sitting in church\u2014man, that is so essential\u2014we all need to do that. But there's something really intimate about being in a small group that changes your life.\r\n\r\nDave (11:21):\r\n\r\nYeah. And so we have\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn (11:22):\r\n\r\nJesus changes your life.\r\n\r\nDave (11:23):\r\n\r\nYeah, we've had couples in our home. It's crazy to think FamilyLife has all these tools\u2014it's \u201cplug and play\u201d\u2014small group studies and workbooks. Here's the thing: we've used them all\u2014Art of Marriage, Vertical Marriage\u2014you name it\u2014we've used them. They are great, and they're easy to use. And here's the deal: right now, it's 25 percent off.\r\n\r\nAnn (11:44):\r\n\r\nThat's incredible.\r\n\r\nDave (11:45):\r\n\r\nYeah. All the small group kits and workbooks are 25 percent off, now through the end of the month. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and get yours, and go change some marriages.\r\n\r\nAnn (11:56):\r\n\r\nSo don't forget. Right now\u2014did you hear that?\u2014I'm going to say it again\u2014through the end of the month all FamilyLife, small group kits and workbooks are 25 percent off. So start the year with purpose, and go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nDave (12:14):\r\n\r\nHow do you\u2014and you didn't use the word, but you brought up the idea\u2014because in your book, shame. As parents, we carry sometimes\u2014or maybe, a lot of times\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn (12:23):\r\n\r\nOh, I've never experienced shame as a parent as much of just the condemnation\u2014as you're saying, the accuser\u2014I'd put my head on the pillow, and think, \u201cI failed today as a parent.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (12:36):\r\n\r\nThere were times we\u2019d walk back in our boys' bedroom at night, and go, \"Hey, we got to apologize,\"\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn (12:40):\r\n\r\nOh, yeah.\r\n\r\nAdam: For sure.\r\n\r\nDave (12:40):\r\n\r\n\u2014just this shame.\r\n\r\nAdam: \u201cI\u2019m sorry I'm saying, \u2018Sorry,\u2019 again.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave (12:43):\r\n\r\nYeah, exactly. \r\n\r\nAnn: I used to write letters to them. I'd come in, and apologize; and then, I'd write this big letter. It's good to apologize\/to repent\u2014for them to see us\u2014that's really important. But then, when does it shift over into the shame; and what do we do?\r\n\r\nAdam (13:03):\r\n\r\nChelsea has, I think, blessed me a ton in this area. When you think about parenting guilt, one of the things that I love when Chelsea speaks to a lot of moms, she'll talk about how you know you're walking in shame is when you see other moms do something good, and you don't celebrate them; you feel worse about yourself. Chelsea, would you speak a little bit about that parenting guilt?\r\n\r\nChelsea (13:23):\r\n\r\nSure. When we can really\u2014not that we can ever fully do this\u2014but we can wrap our minds around being a beloved child, which I think, as a mother, it helps to have a child. You go, \"Okay, I know that this is a real thing; because I really do love my child. I would fight for them. If they were far from me, I would do anything to get them back.\" And you love your children, as babies, when they haven't done something that gives them merit; they haven't done anything productive. So you know that this word about the Lord is true: He can love His children. He can set His love upon His children, and it is not dependent on their work. When we understand that, we can see another mom do something great for her children\u2014plan an excellent birthday party, because her gifting is creative, and hospitality, and all of those things\u2014to see it, and say, \"That's so awesome; I love that. \" \r\n\r\nBut when we're walking in condemnation\/accusation, then we can find it anywhere.\r\n\r\nAdam (14:21):\r\n\r\nThat\u2019s right.\r\n\r\nChelsea (14:22):\r\n\r\nWhat a sad thing for the family of God\u2014for people's natural giftings, that the Lord's given them\u2014to actually feel like an accusation against us. I was talking to a mom about this recently; and I said, \"For some moms, they might see me teaching my kid to throw a spiral football. They might feel\u2014\r\n\r\nDave (14:40):\r\n\r\nMost important parenting skill, you guys.\r\n\r\nAdam: That\u2019s it; that's number one.\r\n\r\nDave: You got to be able to throw a spiral. \r\n\r\nChelsea (14:42):\r\n\r\nAnd I\u2019m here to shame everyone who hasn't done it.\r\n\r\nDave: Okay; okay.\r\n\r\nAdam (14:47):\r\n\r\nA duck is ashamed.\r\n\r\nChelsea (14:48):\r\n\r\nI can teach my children to hit a golf ball; and I can teach my children to throw a football\u2014and it's not a problem; it's morally neutral\u2014but there are some moms, who might see that, and feel accused: \u201cOh, I can't do that.\u201d I said to her, \u201cThere are moms, who make a scrapbook for every month of their kids' life; and that makes some moms feel bad.\u201d She goes, \"I do that! \" I said, \"You make a scrapbook for every month of your kid\u2019s?\" And she's like, \"Yeah, I love it. \" I was like, \"That's awesome!\" And I was like, \"And it's not your heart for anyone else to feel bad that they don't, right? You do it because it's fun. You want to document your children's growth and their milestones.\"\r\n\r\nDave (15:25):\r\n\r\n\u2014every month?\r\n\r\nChelsea (15:26):\r\n\r\nThat's what she said; they're little. She's taking pictures, and she's putting something together; she's smiling, ear to ear: \"Oh, I love it. I love making these little scrapbooks.\u201d I'm going, \"I've never made a scrapbook, and I don't want to.\u201d And that's okay; we have to be able to celebrate all of these things that are going on in the lives of families around us. And when we can't, that should be a signal to us that we've got to be running back to the Father for that love and affirmation that we need from Him, or else we're going to tear down people. \r\n\r\nAnn (15:57):\r\n\r\nSocial media is a killer when it comes to comparison.\r\n\r\nChelsea (16:03):\r\n\r\nIt can be, but it doesn't have to be. \r\n\r\nAnn: How do you not let it be? \r\n\r\nChelsea: If we have a window into someone else's house, and we see good things, we really ought to bless the Lord. I know that is hard. Every societal blight, pretty much a lot of them stem from the broken-down family, where we see families\u2014that are fatherless, or motherless, or impoverished\u2014where there's all these kinds of suffering. A lot of that is caused by the brokenness of their family. So when we see anyone pouring into their family, we ought to be able to just quickly\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014celebrate.\r\n\r\nChelsea: \u2014say: \u201cThank You, God,\u201d \u201cThank You, God. Someone is pouring into their children and it looks different than the way I do it.\u201d But if the accusation we hear, right away is: \" I'm not doing enough\u201d; that's not the voice of the Father. We don't talk to our own children like that, right?\r\n\r\nAdam (16:51):\r\n\r\nYeah.\r\n\r\nChelsea (16:52):\r\n\r\nAnd that's a way we can tell the difference between the Father's voice and the accuser; you go, \" Would you say that to your children?\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn (16:57):\r\n\r\nThat's a really good test, too, when we have that little glitch of comparison, or feeling the condemnation. It can be a tester, of thinking, \u201cOkay, yeah, I must not be free in who Jesus says that I am\u201d; because part of what you guys are talking about is being free. \r\n\r\nAdam (17:16):\r\n\r\nYes, that's right. It's actually really appropriate that we're talking about this in Orlando; because I feel like part of me thinks about, when we came to theme parks as a family, how much judgment there was in my heart, where I would look around and go: \"How come that family's having so much more fun than us right now?\" or \u201cOh my goodness, look at that family. They are so angry at each other about waiting for characters to sign an autograph book.\" \r\n\r\nI realized, in my heart, how much judgment I had for everyone. I'd bring that judgment to social media, bring that judgment to conversations; but I'd also bringing that judgment against myself. Really, what I realized is that I'm sitting on a seat of judgment, that is not mine to sit on. That's where shame comes from\u2014is where I have supplanted God Himself and said\u2014\"I'll decide whether or not I'm good enough\u201d; and supplant God Himself, and say, \u201cI'll decide whether or not this family around me is good or bad.\u201d\r\n\r\n(18:06) I have ignored God's Word, where He said I should be rejoicing with those who rejoice\u2014and I see if somebody's rejoicing, that causes me to mourn\u2014that's not what God's called me to do. Or somebody else's mourning, and there's anything in me that rejoices, and says, \u201cOh, I'm glad I'm not them,\u201d\u2014that's not godly in me. \u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d It means I've had a real issue with who should be judging right now. When I take God's place, it does not go well. Part of what would solve some of my shame issue is realizing I have a better judge, who's much more gracious than I am. If I could see Him more the way that I look at my own family, like Chelsea's talking about\u2014and see that I don't try to shame my kids when they make mistakes\u2014so why would I think God operates that way towards me, who's such a better Father than I am?\r\n\r\nDave (18:52):\r\n\r\nSo how do you get there when you're not there? If you're sensing, in one way or the other; or you just feel it yourself like: \"I am sort of judging,\u201d or \u201cI'm feeling shame,\"\u2014you're not in a good place\u2014how do you get out of that? Because parents live there.\r\n\r\nAnn (19:08):\r\n\r\nEighty percent of our listeners, are like, \"That is me; yes, yes\u2014judging\u2014'How could they allow their child to do that?!\u2019\u201d And then, when you see a good one, it's like, \"Oh, I\u2019m terrible at that. \" We all live there!\r\n\r\nAdam (19:22):\r\n\r\nAmen.\r\n\r\nAnn (19:22):\r\n\r\nSo take us there.\r\n\r\nAdam (19:23):\r\n\r\nAnd that's inside our marriage, too, right? \r\n\r\nChelsea (19:25):\r\n\r\nReally, all of that judgment\u2014whether it's towards ourselves or towards others\u2014that accusation, that I'm always looking to find out: \u201cWhere am I justified? Where does my justification come from?\u201d\u2014that's extra work; it's a lot of mental work that we could be free of that. The Lord could say, \u201cLay that down today.\u201d\r\n\r\nI think, when we find ourselves walking in that, a very powerful thing to do is to confess that. And then, within the body of Christ, we need to be ready to respond to those confessions rightly. I don't think the best response is like, \"Oh, yeah; me too. We all do it,\u201d\u2014\r\n\r\nAdam (19:56):\r\n\r\nRight.\r\n\r\nChelsea (19:57):\r\n\r\n\u2014which is that's what we do.\r\n\r\nAdam (19:58):\r\n\r\nRight.\r\n\r\nChelsea (19:59):\r\n\r\nThat is. While some people may really need to get off social media, we have to recognize social media is external; it's not the problem.\r\n\r\nAdam (20:07):\r\n\r\nRight.\r\n\r\nChelsea (20:08):\r\n\r\nIt's showing us the problem that's in our heart.\r\n\r\nAnn: It's revealing it. \r\n\r\nChelsea (20:11):\r\n\r\nIt is!\r\n\r\nAdam: That's right.\r\n\r\nChelsea (20:11):\r\n\r\nIt is such a powerful thing to confess and name what's going on. I find that, when I feel jealous, when I feel judgmental\u2014when I confess those things\u2014I don't know why; I think that's just what the Lord does, but it feels lifted.\r\n\r\nAdam (20:28):\r\n\r\nYes.\r\n\r\nAnn (20:29):\r\n\r\nTake us to the prayer; what's it sound like?\r\n\r\nChelsea (20:31):\r\n\r\n\u201cLord, what am I doing? I'm here judging this parent; I don't even know her.\u201d And for me, I have to say over and over to the Lord: \u201cLord, I trust You with them,\u201d \u201cI trust You with them,\u201d \u201cI trust You with them.\u201d \r\n\r\nI can take a snippet of information and think that I know the whole story. And then, think about if someone's close to you\u2014that you know a lot about them\u2014and someone else has a comment about something. I'm like, \"You don't even know; you don't know what they're going through. You don't know what it must feel like.\u201d I just have to ask the Lord to remind me that I don't know, but He knows. And again, it's extra work for me to be mentally in everybody else's space.\r\n\r\nAdam (21:11):\r\n\r\nGood.\r\n\r\nChelsea (21:12):\r\n\r\nMy counselor told me that was emotional voyeurism. \r\n\r\nAnn (21:18):\r\n\r\nOh, that's interesting.\r\n\r\nChelsea (21:18):\r\n\r\nShe was like, \"You wouldn't go up to your neighbor's house and peek in the windows.\" But when you're trying to imagine what's in somebody else's head, or in their heart\u2014as if someone else around you is trying to make you feel bad\u2014well, you don't know that. My friend, who makes a scrapbook every month, isn't trying to make anybody feel bad; she's trying to compile adorable pictures of her babies because she likes them.\r\n\r\nAdam (21:37):\r\n\r\n\u2014innocently; yeah.\r\n\r\nChelsea (21:38):\r\n\r\nIt\u2019s very\u2014\r\n\r\nDave (21:39):\r\n\r\nBut she's making me feel bad.\r\n\r\nChelsea (21:40):\r\n\r\nShe's not! \r\n\r\nAdam: \u201cBurn the scrapbooks.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: It\u2019s her fault; it\u2019s not my fault.\r\n\r\nAdam (21:42):\r\n\r\nI love what you said though, too, about the right response to that confession. Because the truth is you have such a godly way of responding in those moments. You're right\u2014if we said, \"God, I trust You with this family. This is not intended to shame me,\u201d\u2014but also, that the church's response would be more aligned with Christ's response would be great. I do think, if you confess those things, there are so many people, who say, \"Oh, it's not a big deal.\" \r\n\r\nI don't think the Lord ever looks at what we would call sin, and says, \"You know what? It's not a big deal.\u201d \r\n\r\nIf it's not a big deal, why does it cost Christ's blood and body? \r\n\r\nIf it's not a big deal, why would He call us out of it? \r\n\r\nWhy would He even say to somebody, \"Hey, neither do I condemn you; but now, go and sin no more\" if it's: \u201cYou know what? It's not a big deal.\u201d \r\n\r\nNo, I think the Lord would say, \"Hey, this is a big deal.\" I think the Lord's response to sin is calling us from that. In Scripture, we would see, like Peter when he quotes Psalm 55, saying, \"Cast all those burdens onto the Lord, because He cares for you.\" He doesn't say, \"You know what? That's not a big one; you keep carrying that one.\" He says, \u201cNo, every ounce of that, you cast that on the Lord.\u201d Part of casting that is confessing.\r\n\r\n(22:46) Part of the freedom we would experience is, if Christians had better responses to each other's confessions, we'd probably confess more. We'd honestly feel more set free if somebody said, \"Wow,\u201d\u2014not just maybe, empathetically, \u201cI've been there too,\"\u2014and just leave it at that. Although, that can be a blessing, of saying, \"Yeah, I know what you're experiencing.\" \r\n\r\nBut saying, to Dave's point: \"Well, then, how can we be set free? How can we look at that? What would it feel like to truly rejoice?\u201d If it was your own child doing something awesome, it would make you feel proud; wouldn't it? But if it's somebody else's kid doing something awesome, why does that make you feel shame? And He would say, \"There's something clinging to you that is not true.\" \r\n\r\n(23:21) The writer of Hebrews would call us to cast off sin that's so easily entangles: \u201cIt seems like you've been easily entangled in something that's not true.\u201d So how do we cast that off? We ask the Lord to do it; then, we help each other run the race that's marked out for us. I love that part, at the end of John 21, when Jesus tells Peter, \u201cHere's what your life is going to be like.\u201d And then, he [Peter] turns around and looks at John; and he says, \"But what about him?\" And He says, \"What is it to you if he lives forever?! You do what?\u2014you follow Me.\u201d \r\n\r\nIf we could say that to every parent: \u201cJust remember your path is different than your spouse\u2019s,\u201d \u201cYour path is different than your kids\u2019,\u201d and \u201cYour path is certainly different than the family next door,\u201d\u2014\u201cYou do what?\u201d\u2014\"You just worry about following Jesus. You mourn with those who mourn; you rejoice with those who rejoice, and you'll find freedom in that.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn (24:02):\r\n\r\nI wish I would've heard an interview like this when our kids were little.\r\n\r\nDave (24:05):\r\n\r\nWell, I'm glad we're helping other people out; because nobody helped us out. That was our fault! We didn't listen to stuff. I'm telling you: you want this book. You can get it at FamilyLifeToday.com in our show notes: Good News for Parents. You need good news; go get the book. We're going to have them back tomorrow. \r\n\r\nLet me just say this: we meet a ton of couples, who say FamilyLife helped them when they needed it the most. And that's what being a FamilyLife Partner is all about, helping others find that same encouragement and tools that you found right here.\r\n\r\nAnn (24:34):\r\n\r\nAnd we'd love for you to join us. Click the \u201cDonate\u201d button at FamilyLifeToday.com and become a Partner today.\r\n\r\nDave (24:46):\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?\r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2026 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife.com\n","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/317542","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=317542"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/295627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=317542"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=317542"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=317542"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=317542"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=317542"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=317542"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}