{"id":313108,"date":"2025-03-05T07:37:22","date_gmt":"2025-03-05T12:37:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-young-men-we-need-brant-hansen\/"},"modified":"2025-03-27T12:30:49","modified_gmt":"2025-03-27T16:30:49","slug":"the-young-men-we-need-brant-hansen","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-young-men-we-need-brant-hansen\/","title":{"rendered":"The Young Men We Need &#8211; Brant Hansen"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Where are the young men we need today? Author Brant Hansen offers a vision for healthy masculinity, emphasizing purpose, responsibility, and the importance of being &#8220;keepers of the garden.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Where are the young men we need today? Author Brant Hansen offers a vision for healthy masculinity, emphasizing purpose and responsibility.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":313110,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/76379969-feae-4a5c-aff5-b28f0116e29c\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:45","filesize":"25.45M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2025-03-05 07:37:22","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837,2826],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[10959],"cwp_profile":[3634],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-313108","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","category-men","podcast_series-brant-hansen-the-young-men-we-need","cwp_profile-brant-hansen","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/image_0859b7.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/313108\/the-young-men-we-need-brant-hansen","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/313108\/the-young-men-we-need-brant-hansen","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"TqZ2b96m21\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-young-men-we-need-brant-hansen\/\">The Young Men We Need &#8211; Brant Hansen<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-young-men-we-need-brant-hansen\/embed\/#?secret=TqZ2b96m21\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Young Men We Need &#8211; Brant Hansen&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"TqZ2b96m21\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["76379969-feae-4a5c-aff5-b28f0116e29c"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/76379969-feae-4a5c-aff5-b28f0116e29c\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:27:45"],"filesize":["25.45M"],"_thumbnail_id":["313110"],"show_notes":["<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/branthansen\">Follow Brant on Instagram,<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@branthansen\">YouTube,<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/branthansen.com\/\">check out his website.<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/march-2025\/the-young-men-we-need\/\">Brant's book, \"The (Young) Men We Need\"<\/a> is available at no cost to you with a donation of any size this week, as our way of saying a huge \"Thank you!\" for partnering with us.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<ul>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2025-03-05.pdf"],"transcript_content":["<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript<\/p>\n<p>This content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.<\/p>\n<p>The Young Men We Need<\/p>\n<p>Guest:Brant Hansen<\/p>\n<p>From the series:The Young Men We Need (Day 3 of 3)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:March 5, 2025<\/p>\n<p>Brant:\u201cMan, with words you can build people up; you can destroy, even in your own family. Your job is to build them up. If you're a keeper of the garden, you want people to bloom; because you're there. They flourish because you're there\u2014that's your mom; that's your dad; that's your brothers and sisters; that's your neighbors; that's other people at school\u2014that's your job; you do actually have a mission here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Dave Wilson.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:And I'm Ann Wilson. And you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:A video was recently sent to us of the top ten least attractive men's hobbies. Okay, sorry; nine.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:It says ten, but there's only nine.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yeah.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I can tell you what number ten is.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I wanted you to guess; have you looked at all of them?<\/p>\n<p>Dave:No, I haven't;\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Okay; what do you think?<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u2014I saw the title.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yeah.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:At least, I\u2019ll try. Let's ask Brant Hansen; he's in the room.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Okay.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:He's the manhood guy; he\u2019s written a couple books on manhood.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That\u2019s right. We're going to be talking about that today.<\/p>\n<p>Least attractive, Brant.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Well, it's going to be stuff I like; I know that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Is this by women, or by men, or both?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I don't know. Let's see; I'm not sure. I'm guessing this is from women, actually. I'm looking at the list; I'm like, \u201cOh, I bet these are\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave:One of them, I would think, would be watching football.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:No, that is not one.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I feel like we're playing Family Feud here. Good answer, Dave.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Okay, Brant; what's your answer?<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Well, it can be video games. Next can be\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yes; number one: video games, number one; number two: collecting figurines.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Now, that's not fair.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:What does that mean?!<\/p>\n<p>Brant:If people are into Lord of the Rings; you paint a little\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I know; our son did that. It was kind of cool.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Right!<\/p>\n<p>Ann:But he showed his girlfriend, and I don't think she thought it was very cool.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Man, that's just shortsightedness on her part; because that could pay off big time.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u2014collecting figurines?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Okay; what about number three?\u2014magic tricks.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I think they're cool!<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I think they\u2019re cool too.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I wish I could do more.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Yeah; \u201cLet's do this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:If a guy can do them pretty well; I don't know.<\/p>\n<p>Online trolling.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:That's a hobby? That's pretty bad.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:\u201cI enjoy long walks on the beach,\u201d \u201cI enjoy online trolling.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u201cI want to date that guy!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That would be very unattractive.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:\u201cI collect figurines.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Gambling\u2014yes, that\u2019s not\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Building model trains.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:What?! What's not cool\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Where did this come from?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I don't know.<\/p>\n<p>Taxidermy is number seven. Eight: comic books. And nine: birdwatching.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:What? Really?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I kind of would like birdwatching with you; I like birdwatching myself.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Ornithology; I know what it's called.<\/p>\n<p>Brant, we're back. Yesterday, you said there's six decisions that will set you apart as a man.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:As we're talking about Brant\u2019s newest book\u2014(Young) Men We Need: God's Purpose for Every Guy and How You Can Live It Out\u2014great title; great subtitle.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah. As you said two days ago, there's overlap between The Men We Need and (Young) Men We Need; there's a nuance that it's starting earlier.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Yeah, it's the same basic material: trying to give guys a vision for what masculinity actually is and why it's awesome.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:God's idea of\u2014you're giving a biblical viewpoint of\u2014manhood.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:As best I can. I think it's being a keeper of the garden; I think that's it: allowing people around you to flourish and thrive, who might be vulnerable\u2014protecting them, being a source of security\u2014that sort of stuff.<\/p>\n<p>You talk about that to guys, they get it like, \u201cOh, that's who I'm supposed to be\u201d; but there are things that will stop you from doing it. I try to address that with some of these decisions, especially for younger guys. It's the same material as The Men We Need, but I scaled it down; I edited it down so that the chapters are really short. I think it's better for the guys to find it more readable, younger guys.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah. Okay, so the first one: \u201cForsake the fake; relish the real.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Brant:This is a huge thing, obviously. There is a spiritual enemy, and he wants to fake you out. He wants to give you something that seems real, feels real; and in the end, it's just a punch in the stomach. Pornography is an obvious example. It's like you get the dopamine hits\u2014your brain gets fooled\u2014but that's not, obviously, a real woman. A real woman will challenge you and help you grow up; but now, you're not going to grow up because of this; and you're left with nothing.<\/p>\n<p>When I'm writing about that\u2014by the way, I'm not doing a guilt trip for guys\u2014there's enough guilt that we struggle with and shame. I didn't feel like that was what we needed as much as being able to look at this, and go, \u201cWait a second. See how we're being faked out all the time?\u201d The same thing with video games\u2014and again, video games\u2014I'm not against them.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:They're fun.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Yeah, they're fun; but you're essentially doing things that are fake. Even if you do well at a game\u2014and six hours later, you've been playing it, doing really well\u2014you get done; you feel meaninglessness, and it's because it's meaningless. You didn't actually accomplish anything in real life. We're made to accomplish things.<\/p>\n<p>I try to flesh that out for guys, to go: \u201cLook, there's all sorts of stuff that feels like it's real to our brains. You get the dopamine hit; you get the good feelings. In fact, it feels better than real life because you don't have to go through the trials of real relationships with a fake woman; you don't have to go through the trials of actually learning training to become Navy SEAL. You could just start playing Call of Duty, or whatever; it's like you can skip all of the stuff and just start with the dopamine payoffs; that will ruin you. You don't want to wake up, at age 70, not having lived. All your accomplishments were virtual\u2014you don't want that\u2014but that is how the enemy works.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Well, guys, talk to the women right now. I talk to a lot of young married women, and they're saying, \u201cThis is a deal.\u201d Video games\u2014this is what a mom might say\u2014\u201cI have three kids, who are seven and under: baths need to be taken; the kitchen needs to be cleaned up; the house is a mess. And my husband is playing video games,\u201d or \u201cMy husband is addicted to porn. He's tried to stop; he's a good guy,\u201d and \u201cHe's a good guy; he's playing video games, and all I've done is complain. I tell him, \u2018You need to stop.\u2019 I don't know what to do because nothing gets through to him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Well, obviously, I can't give you two steps; and now, everything's taken care of. But I can give you some ideas; and that is, a lot of times, when guys are struggling with that stuff, it's a lack of a bigger vision for their lives.<\/p>\n<p>There's a couple things I talk about: schedules in The Men We Need. For teenage guys\u2014if you've got a lot of time on your hands, or young guys a lot of time on your hands\u2014that's a problem; unfortunately, it makes it a lot more difficult.<\/p>\n<p>I took a group\u2014I can't remember if I told you this\u2014but I took a group to Mexico on a mission trip, years ago, a bunch of high school guys, a bunch of guys I was discipling. And the other kids in the youth group\u2014they're girls\u2014everybody's teenagers. These guys have always confided with me, and with others, that this was a big struggle\u2014the lust thing and pornography\u2014and all that.<\/p>\n<p>It just occurred to me, at the end of the week\u2014we'd been working, working, working all week long, alongside these girls\u2014we'd have dinner in the evenings. We were camping out in the middle of nowhere. It was hot; it was a lot of work, but we're having a great time. We're worshiping in the evening.<\/p>\n<p>I said, at the end of the week, I was like, \u201cHey, you guys struggle with lust a lot this week?\u201d They were quiet for a little bit; and then, they just started laughing: \u201cWe haven't had time.\u201d I thought, \u201cThat's really interesting. We've been working so hard. It's like your circumstances, if they're changed\u2014even your calendar; your schedule changes\u2014it can make a big difference with that.\u201d I would tell guys that.<\/p>\n<p>With women, I would remind: it's very difficult to control; and it's tough not to want to, especially when they're being super immature.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u2014or nag.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Obviously, genuinely talk to God about it. Ask Him to\u2014because God's not into usurping their decisions and forcing something\u2014but I always think a practical prayer is to say: \u201cSurround him with other guys who will give him other stuff to do and encourage him to help him grow up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The other thing I would do is, very proactively, when he's not doing that\u2014when he's doing something else that you do respect\u2014to make it a point to say you find that attractive when he's doing that thing: where he is being a good dad; when he's accepting responsibility. Find him doing something right, because you'll start to get more of that.<\/p>\n<p>I remember this experiment they did in college on a college professor. I can't remember exactly where it was.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Oh, yeah.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:You remember this?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yes; I thought it was in Dallas Seminary, but I might be wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Really?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Go ahead.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:As he's lecturing\u2014as he walked towards the windows\u2014everybody starts smiling. As he'd walked over towards the door, on the other side of the front, and everybody acted dis-interested and apathetic, and not care, and frown. Well, pretty soon\u2014it's like ten minutes into the lecture\u2014where he's pinned up against the windows, delivering his\u2014unwittingly.<\/p>\n<p>It's not manipulation; it's just being honest. Make sure you say: \u201cMan, it's really attractive when you do that to give me a break from the kids. I just can't tell you: it's just manly man,\u201d \u201cWhen you talked to the neighbor that way, and told him that that was a problem for us\u2014and you were kind, but direct\u2014there's something really cool,\u201d\u2014find that, because it shapes his behavior more than maybe you realize.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah. In some ways, it's like we men are still little boys. When somebody sees what we're doing, and says, \u201cGood job, son\u201d; we do it again. We do it better. We keep doing it. It's like\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I share in this newest book that will come out in May, that we've just done\u2014How to Speak Life to Your Husband\u2014when all you want to do is yell at him. I share that I've nagged Dave for years about: he needs to spend more time with the boys, pouring into them spiritually\u2014you get that \u201cYou need to..\u201d\u2014and that didn't always fly very well. And then, I'd compare him to other dads that were doing that; and that really didn't fly very well.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:It didn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:So Brant, I did exactly what you said\u2014I felt like God was prompting me\u2014\u201cSee and say the things that he's doing well and right. Encourage that.\u201d One night\u2014I shared this before\u2014he put the boys to bed; I watched him. He came out, and I said, \u201cMan, I'm jealous of the power you carry.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Wow; okay, there you go.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u201cYou say something positive, or you just say things; and they're clinging to your words. They're not even hanging onto any of my stuff. But for you, you've got so much power.\u201d That's all I said.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:And then, the next night\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u2014I was running up to that bedroom.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I didn't do it to be manipulative.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:No!<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I just noticed.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:But you know what? People need a blessing at the deepest level\u2014man, woman\u2014my wife needs to hear words of blessing from me, and I know that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:It brings life.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I've gotten better at it. It's like it does. And the human soul is made for blessing. And like Dallas Ward says, \u201cIt dies without it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I would say, as well\u2014and before we get to the second one\u2014when you \u201cForsake the fake,\u201d as a man\u2014especially, as a young man\u2014I try to help us, as men, say: \u201cWhat are we escaping from that we keep going to the fake?\u201d We know porn's bad, eating too much is bad\u2014all the things that we do\u2014there's a root. There's something you're avoiding\u2014maybe, as a man\u2014or you're escaping from. It takes a real man to step into the hard issues of your life, and say, \u201cI got to look this in the face and deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I think that's true for young guys too. I'll tell them: \u201cThere's hope here.<\/p>\n<p>Because as these things are squeezed out of your life\u2014don't let shame keep you away from God\u2014do not. That's the real loss. He understands that we're sinners; He wants to change us. So you keep talking to Him. Do not slink away in shame, which is what Adam did.\u201d Adam failed as a keeper of the garden; and then, he slinks away in shame. God shows up, and says, \u201cWhere are you, Adam? What happened to us? We used to walk together; but now, he's gone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I'm trying to tell guys, too, and I also want them to know this\u2014again, not to make this about guilt and shame\u2014after Adam blows it, and we've all blown it\u2014when he's leaving the Garden of Eden, God makes clothes for them. I always thought those clothes were like Flintstones-type stuff; I don't know; it's going to be, \u201cI'm just trying to get you covered here.\u201d The word there is kethoneth in the Hebrew for their clothes; that means royal garments. The only other time that word pops up in Genesis is to describe Joseph's coat.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:What?! I have never heard this.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I just learned it recently.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:And that's for two sinners.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Oh!<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Okay; right. And so it's used later on in the Old Testament for royal priestly garments.<\/p>\n<p>They blow it; God doesn't kick them out and say, \u201cI'm done with you\u201d; He goes with them, after dressing them up as a king and queen. I want you to know you don't slink away in shame. You're caught up in this\u2014you listen to this\u2014don't be: \u201cOh, I've blown it again; I've blown it.\u201d I'm trying to give you hope here.<\/p>\n<p>The other thing is: as God changes you, these things get squeezed out of your life; but things get really better. They've done these studies of younger guys, who get off of pornography\u2014or older guys\u2014and their firsthand testimonies, after they've gotten rid of it for a few weeks even: \u201cI'm more confident,\u201d \u201cI have more energy,\u201d \u201cI'm less negative,\u201d \u201cI'm not as acerbic; I can get things done,\u201d \u201cI can think more clearly,\u201d \u201cI'm more confident with girls.\u201d There's all of these things that we're walking around with\u2014this extra surliness\u2014that is lifted when that is crowded out of your life. To me, that's just, \u201cHey, there's some good news here. Things can get better.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I\u2019m still stuck on that. He makes us priestly garments after this huge fall that will affect every person. As a woman, I carry\/have carried so much shame in the past. I watch young men, who have struggled in this area\u2014I've heard from them\u2014that's a thing: they leave God because they feel like God's so disappointed.<\/p>\n<p>The gospel and grace is compelling: He draws us back. So this picture of Him giving us priestly garments, as He ushers us out to protect us from eating from the tree of life, it's the beautiful grace and love.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:He still wants to be with you; do not walk away in shame.<\/p>\n<p>What'll happen is you'll feel shame. You'll feel like: \u201cI'm disconnected from God,\u201d \u201cWho is God anyway?\u201d \u201cWhat is God?\u201d And they are on the internet, and it's just default atheism and sarcasm. No, no, no, no, no; He loves you. He's not giving up on you. You keep talking to Him; you keep being loyal.<\/p>\n<p>This is one of the other decisions I talk about is: \u201cTake responsibility for your own spiritual life.\u201d This is not a guilt trip; this is an opportunity. When I say that, I'm saying: \u201cThat's what God is looking for\u2014is your loyalty\u2014yes, He knows we sin. He's got it; He's not shocked; He knows. He wants to move us past it. He has paid the price for it, but be loyal. Keep talking to Him. He's looking for partners. God is looking for partners; He always has been. And He wants to partner with you in your life. So you talk to Him about what you're doing together in life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That prayer takes on a different dimension\u2014it's not as hard anymore\u2014it's more like we have all these Zoom meetings with bosses or colleagues. Here's your meeting with your Partner in life, who can do anything for you, who loves you; He's more on your side than you are.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:And this is true for men or women.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Absolutely; \u201cWhy would I miss that meeting?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Exactly.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:\u201cI don't want to miss that meeting.\u201d That loyalty is everything. We equate spirituality, in this country, with emotion; because we're all about emotions in this culture. That's not what spirituality is in the Bible. Consistently, it's a believing loyalty. You keep coming back, guys, and He will change you. And when He changes you over time, He'll change your desires a certain way. A lot of that stuff gets left behind.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I think it's when you say, \u201cTake responsibility for your own spiritual life,\u201d\u2014which is Decision 6\u2014like you said, they're not in a certain order\u2014but I think a lot of us guys\u2014I've seen guys draft off their wife's spiritual walk.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:A lot of that though is because of this misunderstanding. You feel less than because you're not as emotional in worship services; or you're not getting goose bumps. We set up the Christian experience, a lot of times, basically experiences. We want to create an emotional experience, but that's not spirituality. It's not bad to have an emotional experience\u2014of course, it's wonderful\u2014but if you're more analytical, even as a woman, you may not relate like that to God. You shouldn't have to feel guilty about it. You should be able to go, \u201cYeah, that's cool; but I'm not feeling it.\u201d But that doesn't mean God's left me; it doesn't mean He doesn't exist because I'm not feeling it. You're still loyal. Well, this is a huge burden-lifter for a lot of men, in particular. So that's why I wrote about this.<\/p>\n<p>But this is how you're going to grow: you continue to pay attention to Him, even while you're caught up in stuff. You keep talking to Him\u2014there's where your hope is going to come from\u2014He's going to make you a different kind of person.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That's good.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Alright. Here's a couple others. We talked quite a bit\u2014you have\u2014about \u201cProtect the vulnerable.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Brant:We've talked about this before. I remember reading a guy, saying [deep voice], \u201cI will defend my wife if there's an intruder. I'll take care of the intruder. I'm a good defender of my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Is that how they say it?\u2014deep voice?<\/p>\n<p>Brant:[Deep voice] They always talk like this.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:[Deep voice] They always talk like that.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:[Deep voice] When I\u2019m talking to anybody I don't like, I talk like that.<\/p>\n<p>But he was poking fun at himself. But he said, \u201cYou know what I realized? I used to pat myself on the back for that, and I realized that doesn't happen very often.\u201d He said, \u201cMost of the time the intruder is me. It's my words, or my lack of words, or my sarcasm, or my tone of voice that's injuring and making my wife feel insecure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, again, this is true\u2014I'm saying this to young guys, too\u2014it's not about marriage; it\u2019s about everything, like, \u201cMan, with words, you can build people up; you can destroy, even in your own family. Your job is to build them up. If you're a keeper of the garden, you want people to bloom because you're there. They flourish because you're there\u2014that's your mom; that's your dad; that's your brothers and sisters; that's your neighbors; that's other people at school\u2014that's your job\u2014you do actually have a mission here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The tone of voice thing is what I've been learning about. Carolyn's talked to me about that many times over the years. I don't know why it didn't dawn on me that it's a bigger deal than I wanted it to be, because the male voice is made to bark out the door. I remember doing that one time at neighbor kids, who were setting off fireworks or whatever. I was like [deep voice], \u201cThis ends now!\u201d Carolyn was like, \u201cThat was really attractive when you did that.\u201d See, I remember that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:But when you say it to her, it doesn't always go that way.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Right; women are very audible\/auditory, and even to pick up on vulnerability\u2014like a newborn crying\u2014there's certain nuances that they pick up on. And men lack that nuance. We can come in and sound threatening when we don't mean to be.<\/p>\n<p>I'm just thinking\u2014I'm just making my case here\u2014I'm making a logical case about why I'm right. But she's saying something about my tone of voice. I'm realizing: \u201cI want to make you secure, not insecure. It's not that my voice is bad, but I do need to adjust the tone.\u201d I'm a musician, and I'm on the radio. So you would think I would be thinking about tone of voice all the time; I'm not. But that's a great thing for guys to be aware of: \u201cLook, your role is for her to feel secure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Oh, Brant, this was a big fight for us, early on.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I think it is for most.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Dave would talk to me; and I'd say like, \u201cI'm not dumb. You're talking to me like I\u2019m the dumbest person in the world,\u201d \u201cWhat are you talking about?!\u201d\u2014and it was just the tone. It was like\u2014\u201cWhat are you\u2026\u201d\u2014and that could be what you say: \"What are you doing?!\u201d And that's when I would say\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u2014\u201cThere it is.\u201d You go, \u201cExhibit A\u201d; because my tone would be\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:But he didn't even hear it.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:This is really good to talk about. It's also true that we're like, \u201cWell, what's the big deal, even if my tone isn't perfect?\u201d But when we understand, again: \u201cOh, wait; masculinity is being a keeper of the garden. She's supposed to feel secure. I'm making her feel insecure; I'm not being masculine right now. I may think I am, but masculinity is about this other thing.\u201d Once we have a concrete idea about what masculinity really is\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u2014it\u2019s the foundation.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:\u2014\u201cOh, wait a second; I'm supposed to make her feel secure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I'll tell you this\u2014watching you and Carolyn\u2014she feels secure.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Good!<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Totally.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:You can see it.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Well, good. She has built me up so much, and I could go on and on about that. We got married young, as I mentioned; so it's hard to imagine any other existence, honestly. But a lot of this stuff is hard-won, over time. There's things I wish I could go back and tell my son, at ten years old, that I should have said or could have done more. We all have regrets and stuff, but it's good to share what we have learned as a mercy.<\/p>\n<p>There's a lot of stuff that I have gotten\u2014a lot of guys, who have said\u2014and this is very kind, and I appreciate it: \u201cMan, I wish I would've read this book a long time ago.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah, let me just say this: marriage is wonderful; but it can be really, really hard and difficult at times. We know that; we've shared that many times here. But we would love to help you: go to FamilyLife.com\/MarriageHelp; we've put some of our best tools there for you to get some help. We would love to help you: FamilyLife.com\/MarriageHelp.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Let me just end with saying: \u201cThere's something, Dave, I'm just going to tell you\u2014the way you love me; you lead me; I can be in the car and feel like, even when you're driving crazy\u2014I can still feel like, \u2018I really trust this man, with not only my life, but our kids and our grandkids.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I talked to somebody, I didn't even tell you this, when you took our two grandkids to the movie by yourself\u2014the five- and three-year-old\u2014all by yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:That was fun.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:He took them to Steak \u2018n Shake. I heard one grandmother, who was a friend of mine, say, \u201cI would have never let my husband do that, because he wouldn't even know what to do,\u201d\u2014the fact that you're like, \u201cI'll take everybody out; let's go!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Brant:It was Saving Private Ryan; I don't think that was a good idea.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I don\u2019t know why they kept flinching at the gunshots.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:You guys are so funny!<\/p>\n<p>But I'm just going to say, \u201cYou've done that.\u201d And Brant, I\u2019ll say this;<\/p>\n<p>because I've talked to Carolyn enough to know that you do that.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Oh, good; thank you.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:It is attractive. And so for you wives, who are listening to this\u2014thinking, \u201cMy husband, I can't say that,\u201d\u2014I would pray; pray that God will give you eyes to see your man the way God created him to be, and your sons. Oh, I know\u2014it's the temptation to see all the negative things your sons are doing: the video games are playing and the kids they\u2019re hanging out with\u2014but start speaking life into the man that you see they can become, and they will rise up to that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah, I would say: \u201cGet the book.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u201cGet both books.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You know this, Brant, your sons, especially, are watching you, as a dad, more than they're listening to you. They are watching you be the keeper of the garden. But man, this is truth. You say, \u201cUse that term, \u2018keeper of the garden.\u2019\u201d Started a succession with your 12-year-old, 8-year-old, 10-, 15-\u2014that is going to bring a vision to them they've never had before\u2014that will set them on the course to become the man God's called them be.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:They need it so badly; they need this vision. So it's good to give the example. It's also good to put some words behind it. This is what I think my role is; and yours, too.<\/p>\n<p>My brother wrote the discussion questions; did a great job.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Did he?<\/p>\n<p>Brant:They're in the back of the printed book. If you do have a youth group of guys or whatever\u2014I honestly\/normally, I would feel sheepish about saying, \u201cPlease get this book, and do it,\u201d\u2014because it feels self-promotional. Honestly, I feel like this is such a crisis.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Right.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Me, too.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:And if there's another book just like this, get that one; I don't care. But please talk about this with young guys\u2014even in churches\u2014they do not know what is specifically great about masculinity and what they're called to be. And this would be so life-giving for everybody around us.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Well, I tell you what, Brant: we are going to help people do exactly that. He\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:We're in a crisis; I totally agree. I get passionate\u2014because I had three sons, and I've got four grandsons\u2014there's a crisis, I feel like, in our culture of what it is to be a man.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah, Brant; we are so thankful you wrote The Men We Need and, now, (Young) Men We Need. We want to help get this out into the hands of our people. I would just say, \u201cMan, if you want this, we want to get it to you. Here's how this can work: give us a donation to FamilyLife of any amount; and we will send you this book as our \u2018Thank you,\u2019 to you for donating to Family Life.\u201d You can do that at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just go there; make your donation. Or you can give us a call at 800-358-6329. What is that, Ann? That's F as in Family\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u2014F as in Family, L as in Life, and TODAY.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:You did that like a cheerleader. You had your little F, L, TODAY. Send us a donation. We will send you Brandt's book, (Young) Men We Need.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2025 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife.com<\/p>\n"],"_edit_lock":["1743093214:47000"],"_g_feedback_shortcode_455e9f6989e37ed28bf90fe417f9e5b5a83a879a":["\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Name\" type=\"name\"  required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Email\" type=\"email\" required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Website\" type=\"url\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Message\" type=\"textarea\" \/]"],"_g_feedback_shortcode_atts_455e9f6989e37ed28bf90fe417f9e5b5a83a879a":["a:17:{s:2:\"to\";s:29:\"margaret.coyle@familylife.com\";s:7:\"subject\";s:66:\"[FamilyLife - A Cru Ministry] The Young Men We Need - Brant Hansen\";s:12:\"show_subject\";s:2:\"no\";s:6:\"widget\";i:0;s:14:\"block_template\";N;s:19:\"block_template_part\";N;s:2:\"id\";i:313108;s:18:\"submit_button_text\";s:6:\"Submit\";s:14:\"customThankyou\";s:0:\"\";s:21:\"customThankyouHeading\";s:26:\"Your message has been sent\";s:21:\"customThankyouMessage\";s:30:\"Thank you for your 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are the young men we need today? Author Brant Hansen offers a vision for healthy masculinity, emphasizing purpose and responsibility.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/branthansen\">Follow Brant on Instagram,<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@branthansen\">YouTube,<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/branthansen.com\/\">check out his website.<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/march-2025\/the-young-men-we-need\/\">Brant's book, \"The (Young) Men We Need\"<\/a> is available at no cost to you with a donation of any size this week, as our way of saying a huge \"Thank you!\" for partnering with us.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<ul>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2025-03-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript<\/p>\n<p>This content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.<\/p>\n<p>The Young Men We Need<\/p>\n<p>Guest:Brant Hansen<\/p>\n<p>From the series:The Young Men We Need (Day 3 of 3)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:March 5, 2025<\/p>\n<p>Brant:\u201cMan, with words you can build people up; you can destroy, even in your own family. Your job is to build them up. If you're a keeper of the garden, you want people to bloom; because you're there. They flourish because you're there\u2014that's your mom; that's your dad; that's your brothers and sisters; that's your neighbors; that's other people at school\u2014that's your job; you do actually have a mission here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Dave Wilson.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:And I'm Ann Wilson. And you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:A video was recently sent to us of the top ten least attractive men's hobbies. Okay, sorry; nine.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:It says ten, but there's only nine.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yeah.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I can tell you what number ten is.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I wanted you to guess; have you looked at all of them?<\/p>\n<p>Dave:No, I haven't;\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Okay; what do you think?<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u2014I saw the title.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yeah.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:At least, I\u2019ll try. Let's ask Brant Hansen; he's in the room.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Okay.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:He's the manhood guy; he\u2019s written a couple books on manhood.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That\u2019s right. We're going to be talking about that today.<\/p>\n<p>Least attractive, Brant.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Well, it's going to be stuff I like; I know that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Is this by women, or by men, or both?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I don't know. Let's see; I'm not sure. I'm guessing this is from women, actually. I'm looking at the list; I'm like, \u201cOh, I bet these are\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave:One of them, I would think, would be watching football.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:No, that is not one.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I feel like we're playing Family Feud here. Good answer, Dave.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Okay, Brant; what's your answer?<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Well, it can be video games. Next can be\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yes; number one: video games, number one; number two: collecting figurines.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Now, that's not fair.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:What does that mean?!<\/p>\n<p>Brant:If people are into Lord of the Rings; you paint a little\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I know; our son did that. It was kind of cool.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Right!<\/p>\n<p>Ann:But he showed his girlfriend, and I don't think she thought it was very cool.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Man, that's just shortsightedness on her part; because that could pay off big time.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u2014collecting figurines?<\/p>\n<p>Ann: Okay; what about number three?\u2014magic tricks.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I think they're cool!<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I think they\u2019re cool too.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I wish I could do more.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Yeah; \u201cLet's do this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:If a guy can do them pretty well; I don't know.<\/p>\n<p>Online trolling.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:That's a hobby? That's pretty bad.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:\u201cI enjoy long walks on the beach,\u201d \u201cI enjoy online trolling.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u201cI want to date that guy!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That would be very unattractive.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:\u201cI collect figurines.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Gambling\u2014yes, that\u2019s not\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Building model trains.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:What?! What's not cool\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Where did this come from?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I don't know.<\/p>\n<p>Taxidermy is number seven. Eight: comic books. And nine: birdwatching.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:What? Really?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I kind of would like birdwatching with you; I like birdwatching myself.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Ornithology; I know what it's called.<\/p>\n<p>Brant, we're back. Yesterday, you said there's six decisions that will set you apart as a man.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:As we're talking about Brant\u2019s newest book\u2014(Young) Men We Need: God's Purpose for Every Guy and How You Can Live It Out\u2014great title; great subtitle.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah. As you said two days ago, there's overlap between The Men We Need and (Young) Men We Need; there's a nuance that it's starting earlier.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Yeah, it's the same basic material: trying to give guys a vision for what masculinity actually is and why it's awesome.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:God's idea of\u2014you're giving a biblical viewpoint of\u2014manhood.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:As best I can. I think it's being a keeper of the garden; I think that's it: allowing people around you to flourish and thrive, who might be vulnerable\u2014protecting them, being a source of security\u2014that sort of stuff.<\/p>\n<p>You talk about that to guys, they get it like, \u201cOh, that's who I'm supposed to be\u201d; but there are things that will stop you from doing it. I try to address that with some of these decisions, especially for younger guys. It's the same material as The Men We Need, but I scaled it down; I edited it down so that the chapters are really short. I think it's better for the guys to find it more readable, younger guys.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah. Okay, so the first one: \u201cForsake the fake; relish the real.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Brant:This is a huge thing, obviously. There is a spiritual enemy, and he wants to fake you out. He wants to give you something that seems real, feels real; and in the end, it's just a punch in the stomach. Pornography is an obvious example. It's like you get the dopamine hits\u2014your brain gets fooled\u2014but that's not, obviously, a real woman. A real woman will challenge you and help you grow up; but now, you're not going to grow up because of this; and you're left with nothing.<\/p>\n<p>When I'm writing about that\u2014by the way, I'm not doing a guilt trip for guys\u2014there's enough guilt that we struggle with and shame. I didn't feel like that was what we needed as much as being able to look at this, and go, \u201cWait a second. See how we're being faked out all the time?\u201d The same thing with video games\u2014and again, video games\u2014I'm not against them.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:They're fun.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Yeah, they're fun; but you're essentially doing things that are fake. Even if you do well at a game\u2014and six hours later, you've been playing it, doing really well\u2014you get done; you feel meaninglessness, and it's because it's meaningless. You didn't actually accomplish anything in real life. We're made to accomplish things.<\/p>\n<p>I try to flesh that out for guys, to go: \u201cLook, there's all sorts of stuff that feels like it's real to our brains. You get the dopamine hit; you get the good feelings. In fact, it feels better than real life because you don't have to go through the trials of real relationships with a fake woman; you don't have to go through the trials of actually learning training to become Navy SEAL. You could just start playing Call of Duty, or whatever; it's like you can skip all of the stuff and just start with the dopamine payoffs; that will ruin you. You don't want to wake up, at age 70, not having lived. All your accomplishments were virtual\u2014you don't want that\u2014but that is how the enemy works.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Well, guys, talk to the women right now. I talk to a lot of young married women, and they're saying, \u201cThis is a deal.\u201d Video games\u2014this is what a mom might say\u2014\u201cI have three kids, who are seven and under: baths need to be taken; the kitchen needs to be cleaned up; the house is a mess. And my husband is playing video games,\u201d or \u201cMy husband is addicted to porn. He's tried to stop; he's a good guy,\u201d and \u201cHe's a good guy; he's playing video games, and all I've done is complain. I tell him, \u2018You need to stop.\u2019 I don't know what to do because nothing gets through to him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Well, obviously, I can't give you two steps; and now, everything's taken care of. But I can give you some ideas; and that is, a lot of times, when guys are struggling with that stuff, it's a lack of a bigger vision for their lives.<\/p>\n<p>There's a couple things I talk about: schedules in The Men We Need. For teenage guys\u2014if you've got a lot of time on your hands, or young guys a lot of time on your hands\u2014that's a problem; unfortunately, it makes it a lot more difficult.<\/p>\n<p>I took a group\u2014I can't remember if I told you this\u2014but I took a group to Mexico on a mission trip, years ago, a bunch of high school guys, a bunch of guys I was discipling. And the other kids in the youth group\u2014they're girls\u2014everybody's teenagers. These guys have always confided with me, and with others, that this was a big struggle\u2014the lust thing and pornography\u2014and all that.<\/p>\n<p>It just occurred to me, at the end of the week\u2014we'd been working, working, working all week long, alongside these girls\u2014we'd have dinner in the evenings. We were camping out in the middle of nowhere. It was hot; it was a lot of work, but we're having a great time. We're worshiping in the evening.<\/p>\n<p>I said, at the end of the week, I was like, \u201cHey, you guys struggle with lust a lot this week?\u201d They were quiet for a little bit; and then, they just started laughing: \u201cWe haven't had time.\u201d I thought, \u201cThat's really interesting. We've been working so hard. It's like your circumstances, if they're changed\u2014even your calendar; your schedule changes\u2014it can make a big difference with that.\u201d I would tell guys that.<\/p>\n<p>With women, I would remind: it's very difficult to control; and it's tough not to want to, especially when they're being super immature.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u2014or nag.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Obviously, genuinely talk to God about it. Ask Him to\u2014because God's not into usurping their decisions and forcing something\u2014but I always think a practical prayer is to say: \u201cSurround him with other guys who will give him other stuff to do and encourage him to help him grow up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The other thing I would do is, very proactively, when he's not doing that\u2014when he's doing something else that you do respect\u2014to make it a point to say you find that attractive when he's doing that thing: where he is being a good dad; when he's accepting responsibility. Find him doing something right, because you'll start to get more of that.<\/p>\n<p>I remember this experiment they did in college on a college professor. I can't remember exactly where it was.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Oh, yeah.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:You remember this?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yes; I thought it was in Dallas Seminary, but I might be wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Really?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Go ahead.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:As he's lecturing\u2014as he walked towards the windows\u2014everybody starts smiling. As he'd walked over towards the door, on the other side of the front, and everybody acted dis-interested and apathetic, and not care, and frown. Well, pretty soon\u2014it's like ten minutes into the lecture\u2014where he's pinned up against the windows, delivering his\u2014unwittingly.<\/p>\n<p>It's not manipulation; it's just being honest. Make sure you say: \u201cMan, it's really attractive when you do that to give me a break from the kids. I just can't tell you: it's just manly man,\u201d \u201cWhen you talked to the neighbor that way, and told him that that was a problem for us\u2014and you were kind, but direct\u2014there's something really cool,\u201d\u2014find that, because it shapes his behavior more than maybe you realize.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah. In some ways, it's like we men are still little boys. When somebody sees what we're doing, and says, \u201cGood job, son\u201d; we do it again. We do it better. We keep doing it. It's like\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I share in this newest book that will come out in May, that we've just done\u2014How to Speak Life to Your Husband\u2014when all you want to do is yell at him. I share that I've nagged Dave for years about: he needs to spend more time with the boys, pouring into them spiritually\u2014you get that \u201cYou need to..\u201d\u2014and that didn't always fly very well. And then, I'd compare him to other dads that were doing that; and that really didn't fly very well.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:It didn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:So Brant, I did exactly what you said\u2014I felt like God was prompting me\u2014\u201cSee and say the things that he's doing well and right. Encourage that.\u201d One night\u2014I shared this before\u2014he put the boys to bed; I watched him. He came out, and I said, \u201cMan, I'm jealous of the power you carry.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Wow; okay, there you go.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u201cYou say something positive, or you just say things; and they're clinging to your words. They're not even hanging onto any of my stuff. But for you, you've got so much power.\u201d That's all I said.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:And then, the next night\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u2014I was running up to that bedroom.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I didn't do it to be manipulative.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:No!<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I just noticed.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:But you know what? People need a blessing at the deepest level\u2014man, woman\u2014my wife needs to hear words of blessing from me, and I know that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:It brings life.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I've gotten better at it. It's like it does. And the human soul is made for blessing. And like Dallas Ward says, \u201cIt dies without it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I would say, as well\u2014and before we get to the second one\u2014when you \u201cForsake the fake,\u201d as a man\u2014especially, as a young man\u2014I try to help us, as men, say: \u201cWhat are we escaping from that we keep going to the fake?\u201d We know porn's bad, eating too much is bad\u2014all the things that we do\u2014there's a root. There's something you're avoiding\u2014maybe, as a man\u2014or you're escaping from. It takes a real man to step into the hard issues of your life, and say, \u201cI got to look this in the face and deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I think that's true for young guys too. I'll tell them: \u201cThere's hope here.<\/p>\n<p>Because as these things are squeezed out of your life\u2014don't let shame keep you away from God\u2014do not. That's the real loss. He understands that we're sinners; He wants to change us. So you keep talking to Him. Do not slink away in shame, which is what Adam did.\u201d Adam failed as a keeper of the garden; and then, he slinks away in shame. God shows up, and says, \u201cWhere are you, Adam? What happened to us? We used to walk together; but now, he's gone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I'm trying to tell guys, too, and I also want them to know this\u2014again, not to make this about guilt and shame\u2014after Adam blows it, and we've all blown it\u2014when he's leaving the Garden of Eden, God makes clothes for them. I always thought those clothes were like Flintstones-type stuff; I don't know; it's going to be, \u201cI'm just trying to get you covered here.\u201d The word there is kethoneth in the Hebrew for their clothes; that means royal garments. The only other time that word pops up in Genesis is to describe Joseph's coat.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:What?! I have never heard this.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I just learned it recently.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:And that's for two sinners.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Oh!<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Okay; right. And so it's used later on in the Old Testament for royal priestly garments.<\/p>\n<p>They blow it; God doesn't kick them out and say, \u201cI'm done with you\u201d; He goes with them, after dressing them up as a king and queen. I want you to know you don't slink away in shame. You're caught up in this\u2014you listen to this\u2014don't be: \u201cOh, I've blown it again; I've blown it.\u201d I'm trying to give you hope here.<\/p>\n<p>The other thing is: as God changes you, these things get squeezed out of your life; but things get really better. They've done these studies of younger guys, who get off of pornography\u2014or older guys\u2014and their firsthand testimonies, after they've gotten rid of it for a few weeks even: \u201cI'm more confident,\u201d \u201cI have more energy,\u201d \u201cI'm less negative,\u201d \u201cI'm not as acerbic; I can get things done,\u201d \u201cI can think more clearly,\u201d \u201cI'm more confident with girls.\u201d There's all of these things that we're walking around with\u2014this extra surliness\u2014that is lifted when that is crowded out of your life. To me, that's just, \u201cHey, there's some good news here. Things can get better.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I\u2019m still stuck on that. He makes us priestly garments after this huge fall that will affect every person. As a woman, I carry\/have carried so much shame in the past. I watch young men, who have struggled in this area\u2014I've heard from them\u2014that's a thing: they leave God because they feel like God's so disappointed.<\/p>\n<p>The gospel and grace is compelling: He draws us back. So this picture of Him giving us priestly garments, as He ushers us out to protect us from eating from the tree of life, it's the beautiful grace and love.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:He still wants to be with you; do not walk away in shame.<\/p>\n<p>What'll happen is you'll feel shame. You'll feel like: \u201cI'm disconnected from God,\u201d \u201cWho is God anyway?\u201d \u201cWhat is God?\u201d And they are on the internet, and it's just default atheism and sarcasm. No, no, no, no, no; He loves you. He's not giving up on you. You keep talking to Him; you keep being loyal.<\/p>\n<p>This is one of the other decisions I talk about is: \u201cTake responsibility for your own spiritual life.\u201d This is not a guilt trip; this is an opportunity. When I say that, I'm saying: \u201cThat's what God is looking for\u2014is your loyalty\u2014yes, He knows we sin. He's got it; He's not shocked; He knows. He wants to move us past it. He has paid the price for it, but be loyal. Keep talking to Him. He's looking for partners. God is looking for partners; He always has been. And He wants to partner with you in your life. So you talk to Him about what you're doing together in life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That prayer takes on a different dimension\u2014it's not as hard anymore\u2014it's more like we have all these Zoom meetings with bosses or colleagues. Here's your meeting with your Partner in life, who can do anything for you, who loves you; He's more on your side than you are.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:And this is true for men or women.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Absolutely; \u201cWhy would I miss that meeting?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Exactly.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:\u201cI don't want to miss that meeting.\u201d That loyalty is everything. We equate spirituality, in this country, with emotion; because we're all about emotions in this culture. That's not what spirituality is in the Bible. Consistently, it's a believing loyalty. You keep coming back, guys, and He will change you. And when He changes you over time, He'll change your desires a certain way. A lot of that stuff gets left behind.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I think it's when you say, \u201cTake responsibility for your own spiritual life,\u201d\u2014which is Decision 6\u2014like you said, they're not in a certain order\u2014but I think a lot of us guys\u2014I've seen guys draft off their wife's spiritual walk.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:A lot of that though is because of this misunderstanding. You feel less than because you're not as emotional in worship services; or you're not getting goose bumps. We set up the Christian experience, a lot of times, basically experiences. We want to create an emotional experience, but that's not spirituality. It's not bad to have an emotional experience\u2014of course, it's wonderful\u2014but if you're more analytical, even as a woman, you may not relate like that to God. You shouldn't have to feel guilty about it. You should be able to go, \u201cYeah, that's cool; but I'm not feeling it.\u201d But that doesn't mean God's left me; it doesn't mean He doesn't exist because I'm not feeling it. You're still loyal. Well, this is a huge burden-lifter for a lot of men, in particular. So that's why I wrote about this.<\/p>\n<p>But this is how you're going to grow: you continue to pay attention to Him, even while you're caught up in stuff. You keep talking to Him\u2014there's where your hope is going to come from\u2014He's going to make you a different kind of person.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That's good.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Alright. Here's a couple others. We talked quite a bit\u2014you have\u2014about \u201cProtect the vulnerable.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Brant:We've talked about this before. I remember reading a guy, saying [deep voice], \u201cI will defend my wife if there's an intruder. I'll take care of the intruder. I'm a good defender of my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Is that how they say it?\u2014deep voice?<\/p>\n<p>Brant:[Deep voice] They always talk like this.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:[Deep voice] They always talk like that.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:[Deep voice] When I\u2019m talking to anybody I don't like, I talk like that.<\/p>\n<p>But he was poking fun at himself. But he said, \u201cYou know what I realized? I used to pat myself on the back for that, and I realized that doesn't happen very often.\u201d He said, \u201cMost of the time the intruder is me. It's my words, or my lack of words, or my sarcasm, or my tone of voice that's injuring and making my wife feel insecure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, again, this is true\u2014I'm saying this to young guys, too\u2014it's not about marriage; it\u2019s about everything, like, \u201cMan, with words, you can build people up; you can destroy, even in your own family. Your job is to build them up. If you're a keeper of the garden, you want people to bloom because you're there. They flourish because you're there\u2014that's your mom; that's your dad; that's your brothers and sisters; that's your neighbors; that's other people at school\u2014that's your job\u2014you do actually have a mission here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The tone of voice thing is what I've been learning about. Carolyn's talked to me about that many times over the years. I don't know why it didn't dawn on me that it's a bigger deal than I wanted it to be, because the male voice is made to bark out the door. I remember doing that one time at neighbor kids, who were setting off fireworks or whatever. I was like [deep voice], \u201cThis ends now!\u201d Carolyn was like, \u201cThat was really attractive when you did that.\u201d See, I remember that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:But when you say it to her, it doesn't always go that way.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Right; women are very audible\/auditory, and even to pick up on vulnerability\u2014like a newborn crying\u2014there's certain nuances that they pick up on. And men lack that nuance. We can come in and sound threatening when we don't mean to be.<\/p>\n<p>I'm just thinking\u2014I'm just making my case here\u2014I'm making a logical case about why I'm right. But she's saying something about my tone of voice. I'm realizing: \u201cI want to make you secure, not insecure. It's not that my voice is bad, but I do need to adjust the tone.\u201d I'm a musician, and I'm on the radio. So you would think I would be thinking about tone of voice all the time; I'm not. But that's a great thing for guys to be aware of: \u201cLook, your role is for her to feel secure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Oh, Brant, this was a big fight for us, early on.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:I think it is for most.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Dave would talk to me; and I'd say like, \u201cI'm not dumb. You're talking to me like I\u2019m the dumbest person in the world,\u201d \u201cWhat are you talking about?!\u201d\u2014and it was just the tone. It was like\u2014\u201cWhat are you\u2026\u201d\u2014and that could be what you say: \"What are you doing?!\u201d And that's when I would say\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u2014\u201cThere it is.\u201d You go, \u201cExhibit A\u201d; because my tone would be\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:But he didn't even hear it.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:This is really good to talk about. It's also true that we're like, \u201cWell, what's the big deal, even if my tone isn't perfect?\u201d But when we understand, again: \u201cOh, wait; masculinity is being a keeper of the garden. She's supposed to feel secure. I'm making her feel insecure; I'm not being masculine right now. I may think I am, but masculinity is about this other thing.\u201d Once we have a concrete idea about what masculinity really is\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u2014it\u2019s the foundation.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:\u2014\u201cOh, wait a second; I'm supposed to make her feel secure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I'll tell you this\u2014watching you and Carolyn\u2014she feels secure.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Good!<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Totally.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:You can see it.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Well, good. She has built me up so much, and I could go on and on about that. We got married young, as I mentioned; so it's hard to imagine any other existence, honestly. But a lot of this stuff is hard-won, over time. There's things I wish I could go back and tell my son, at ten years old, that I should have said or could have done more. We all have regrets and stuff, but it's good to share what we have learned as a mercy.<\/p>\n<p>There's a lot of stuff that I have gotten\u2014a lot of guys, who have said\u2014and this is very kind, and I appreciate it: \u201cMan, I wish I would've read this book a long time ago.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah, let me just say this: marriage is wonderful; but it can be really, really hard and difficult at times. We know that; we've shared that many times here. But we would love to help you: go to FamilyLife.com\/MarriageHelp; we've put some of our best tools there for you to get some help. We would love to help you: FamilyLife.com\/MarriageHelp.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Let me just end with saying: \u201cThere's something, Dave, I'm just going to tell you\u2014the way you love me; you lead me; I can be in the car and feel like, even when you're driving crazy\u2014I can still feel like, \u2018I really trust this man, with not only my life, but our kids and our grandkids.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I talked to somebody, I didn't even tell you this, when you took our two grandkids to the movie by yourself\u2014the five- and three-year-old\u2014all by yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:That was fun.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:He took them to Steak \u2018n Shake. I heard one grandmother, who was a friend of mine, say, \u201cI would have never let my husband do that, because he wouldn't even know what to do,\u201d\u2014the fact that you're like, \u201cI'll take everybody out; let's go!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Brant:It was Saving Private Ryan; I don't think that was a good idea.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I don\u2019t know why they kept flinching at the gunshots.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:You guys are so funny!<\/p>\n<p>But I'm just going to say, \u201cYou've done that.\u201d And Brant, I\u2019ll say this;<\/p>\n<p>because I've talked to Carolyn enough to know that you do that.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:Oh, good; thank you.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:It is attractive. And so for you wives, who are listening to this\u2014thinking, \u201cMy husband, I can't say that,\u201d\u2014I would pray; pray that God will give you eyes to see your man the way God created him to be, and your sons. Oh, I know\u2014it's the temptation to see all the negative things your sons are doing: the video games are playing and the kids they\u2019re hanging out with\u2014but start speaking life into the man that you see they can become, and they will rise up to that.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah, I would say: \u201cGet the book.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u201cGet both books.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You know this, Brant, your sons, especially, are watching you, as a dad, more than they're listening to you. They are watching you be the keeper of the garden. But man, this is truth. You say, \u201cUse that term, \u2018keeper of the garden.\u2019\u201d Started a succession with your 12-year-old, 8-year-old, 10-, 15-\u2014that is going to bring a vision to them they've never had before\u2014that will set them on the course to become the man God's called them be.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:They need it so badly; they need this vision. So it's good to give the example. It's also good to put some words behind it. This is what I think my role is; and yours, too.<\/p>\n<p>My brother wrote the discussion questions; did a great job.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Did he?<\/p>\n<p>Brant:They're in the back of the printed book. If you do have a youth group of guys or whatever\u2014I honestly\/normally, I would feel sheepish about saying, \u201cPlease get this book, and do it,\u201d\u2014because it feels self-promotional. Honestly, I feel like this is such a crisis.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Right.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Me, too.<\/p>\n<p>Brant:And if there's another book just like this, get that one; I don't care. But please talk about this with young guys\u2014even in churches\u2014they do not know what is specifically great about masculinity and what they're called to be. And this would be so life-giving for everybody around us.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Well, I tell you what, Brant: we are going to help people do exactly that. He\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:We're in a crisis; I totally agree. I get passionate\u2014because I had three sons, and I've got four grandsons\u2014there's a crisis, I feel like, in our culture of what it is to be a man.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah, Brant; we are so thankful you wrote The Men We Need and, now, (Young) Men We Need. We want to help get this out into the hands of our people. I would just say, \u201cMan, if you want this, we want to get it to you. Here's how this can work: give us a donation to FamilyLife of any amount; and we will send you this book as our \u2018Thank you,\u2019 to you for donating to Family Life.\u201d You can do that at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just go there; make your donation. Or you can give us a call at 800-358-6329. What is that, Ann? That's F as in Family\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u2014F as in Family, L as in Life, and TODAY.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:You did that like a cheerleader. You had your little F, L, TODAY. Send us a donation. We will send you Brandt's book, (Young) Men We Need.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2025 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife.com<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/313108","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=313108"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/313110"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=313108"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=313108"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=313108"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=313108"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=313108"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=313108"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}