{"id":312195,"date":"2025-02-04T04:12:24","date_gmt":"2025-02-04T09:12:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/dealing-with-mom-guilt-abbey-wedgeworth\/"},"modified":"2025-02-21T10:59:42","modified_gmt":"2025-02-21T15:59:42","slug":"dealing-with-mom-guilt-abbey-wedgeworth","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dealing-with-mom-guilt-abbey-wedgeworth\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing with Mom Guilt: Abbey Wedgeworth"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Author and mother of three Abbey Wedgework candidly discusses the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood and addresses the pervasive feelings of guilt and shame many mothers experience.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Author and mother Abbey Wedgeworth explores practical strategies to overcome feelings of inadequacy and &#8220;mom guilt.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":312196,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/9bee2f57-6bb5-475c-86ae-b26e01199846\/audio.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:49","filesize":"23.69M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2025-02-04 04:12:24","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838,2806],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[10942],"cwp_profile":[9825],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-312195","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","category-spiritual-development","podcast_series-abbey-wedgeworth-raising-godly-kids","cwp_profile-abbey-wedgeworth","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/02\/image_6ec007.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/312195\/dealing-with-mom-guilt-abbey-wedgeworth","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/312195\/dealing-with-mom-guilt-abbey-wedgeworth","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"guCGb7egE8\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dealing-with-mom-guilt-abbey-wedgeworth\/\">Dealing with Mom Guilt: Abbey Wedgeworth<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dealing-with-mom-guilt-abbey-wedgeworth\/embed\/#?secret=guCGb7egE8\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Dealing with Mom Guilt: Abbey Wedgeworth&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"guCGb7egE8\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/02\/image_6ec007.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Author and mother Abbey Wedgeworth explores practical strategies to overcome feelings of inadequacy and \"mom guilt.\"","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li>Learn more about Abbey Wedgeworth at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.abbeywedgeworth.com\/\">abbeywedgeworth.com<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Get her book, \"<a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/february-2025\/your-amazing-hands\/\">Your Amazing Hands.<\/a>\" We'll send it at no cost to you with a donation of any size this week, as our way of saying a huge \"Thank you!\" for partnering with us.<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2025-02-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>FamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript<\/p>\n<p>This content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.<\/p>\n<p>Dealing with Mom Guilt<\/p>\n<p>Guest:Abbey Wedgeworth<\/p>\n<p>From the series:Raising Godly Kids (Day 2 of 2)<\/p>\n<p>Air date:February 4, 2025<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Mom's asking: \u201cHow can I talk to my kids about the gospel? We don't want<\/p>\n<p>to wait until they're eight years old; and then, start talking to them about<\/p>\n<p>the gospel.\u201d The gospel is good news for our failures from the very<\/p>\n<p>beginning, so we want to hold it out to our children, from the very<\/p>\n<p>beginning. We're building habits for them of how they respond to their sin.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the<\/p>\n<p>relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:And I'm Dave Wilson. And you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Okay, so I'm sitting here with two moms.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yes, you are.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Actually, very unique\u2014two moms of three boys\u2014and one mom's three<\/p>\n<p>boys\u2014my wife, Ann\u2019s\u2014are grown men with their own kids. And then,<\/p>\n<p>Abbey Wedgworth is back with us. And you've got what?\u2014an eight, six,<\/p>\n<p>and three?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Yes; almost four you would say.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:So you're in it.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:We're in it, man.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:You\u2019re in it.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:That's why I think only Ann should respond to any of these questions. I<\/p>\n<p>don't know what I'm doing.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:She doesn\u2019t remember.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:You\u2019re in the midst of it; you remember it because you're in it right now.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:I\u2019m in the trenches.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:How many moms of those ages has written books?\u2014several children's<\/p>\n<p>books.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah; we found out yesterday she wrote one of them while she was<\/p>\n<p>nursing. That just put every mom under the pile.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u201cWhat'd you do today?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:You wrote a book in like ten minutes.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u201cOh, I wrote a book while I was nursing my third child.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Well, it's just a poem. Someone\u2014there's a lot of people\u2014people have to<\/p>\n<p>let you make it a book. It's just God's kindness and the publisher's kindness.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah, but it's great.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:It's really good.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:God's using it, and other moms and kids are going to read it.<\/p>\n<p>But here's what I want to talk about because\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Wait; we're talking about the children's books that Abbey's written. We've<\/p>\n<p>had her on before about her experience through miscarriage.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:They're all over our studio table right here.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:And her other book is called Held; it's a devotional, really,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Yep, it is.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u2014that you walked through after a miscarriage, which was really good.<\/p>\n<p>But anyhow: \u201cOkay, Dave, go ahead. We're ready for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dave:So yesterday, I think it was, Abbey mentioned a word\u2014you wrote a couple<\/p>\n<p>chapters about in our parenting book\u2014but I've heard this word a lot with<\/p>\n<p>moms\u2014and I'm not saying dads don't have it; we do too\u2014but you<\/p>\n<p>used the word, \u201cshame\u201d\u2014this guilt, this mom guilt, this mom shame\u2014<\/p>\n<p>[feeling] not being good enough. I don't know what it is. I just thought,<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere are moms listening, going\u2014as soon as they heard that word<\/p>\n<p>yesterday\u2014they go, \u201cI'm there right now.\u201d So what is it? How do you<\/p>\n<p>define it? How do you experience it?\u2014feel it? How do you get out of it?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Well, I'm just going to tie this into the books\/the kids' books that Abbey's<\/p>\n<p>written. As moms, we can get super frustrated, which is normal; but we<\/p>\n<p>can react instead of respond, which can be super normal. But when we've<\/p>\n<p>been with our kids all day; and maybe, we have failed because they've<\/p>\n<p>been hitting each other, or biting each other, or saying things, or a myriad<\/p>\n<p>of things that are just\u2014they've happened 50 times today\u2014and you just<\/p>\n<p>lose your patience at the end of the day.<\/p>\n<p>For me, it was really easy\u2014even though I had apologized to the kids for<\/p>\n<p>my wrong behavior, words, actions, attitude\u2014sometimes, I would just get<\/p>\n<p>in bed at night; and I would think, \u201cWhat a horrible mom. I am the worst<\/p>\n<p>mom. Are there any other moms that are as bad as me?\u201d And then, I<\/p>\n<p>would hear this accusation: \u201cYou are the worst.\u201d That's shame; have you<\/p>\n<p>ever felt that?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Yeah, yes!<\/p>\n<p>Ann:You have.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Maybe on the car ride down. I think, too, in parenting\u2014shame is this<\/p>\n<p>feeling of: \u201cI am wrong,\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u2014not that you did wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:\u2014I did wrong\u2014but there is something wrong with me. We first see it in the<\/p>\n<p>Garden [of Eden]\u2014Adam and Eve are covering themselves\u2014and<\/p>\n<p>God's like, \u201cWho told you [that] you were naked?\u201d Because first [before<\/p>\n<p>their sin], they were naked and unashamed.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u2014unashamed, yes.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:We want to cover ourselves; we want to\u2014and then, there's this<\/p>\n<p>better covering that is Christ\u2014shame cannot exist where there's<\/p>\n<p>compassion; it can't, and that's the remedy for it.<\/p>\n<p>Shame can be a good thing in as much as it drives us to Christ. You<\/p>\n<p>picture Isaiah in the throne room: \u201cWoe is me. I'm a man of unclean lips,\u201d<\/p>\n<p>or Paul saying\u2014for us, we would change it [as a mom]\u2014Romans 7:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWretched mom that I am, who will deliver me from this body of death?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And then, there's Romans 8:1: \u201cThanks be to God who provides Jesus<\/p>\n<p>Christ and delivers us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>These books\u2014one of the reasons that I wrote them the way that I did is\u2014I<\/p>\n<p>have a child who really struggles with shame; because when he does<\/p>\n<p>something wrong, he thinks he is something bad: \u201cWhat does this mean<\/p>\n<p>about me that I did this?\u201d That's the question we're asking, as moms, of: \u201cI<\/p>\n<p>lost it on my kids. What does it mean about me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>These books equip children to know what to do with that shame that they feel when you just hit your brother\u2014or whatever\u2014you bit someone, and everyone's looking at you. You're the daycare monster, whatever. It just doesn't feel good to mess up. We take that to Jesus, and there's forgiveness available. That's why there's always a picture of Jesus, as a child. You lift the flap and He's with another kid. It's like: \u201cJesus was a child with a mouth, just like me,\u201d \u201cHe was a child with ears, just like me,\u201d \u201c\u2026 eyes just like me\u201d; because it's important for kids to know that He was perfect for them. He faced\u2014we don't have a great high priest who's unable to sympathize\u2014because He's been tempted as we were. He also went through all the developmental challenges that they do, and puberty; He was a human being. He was perfect for them, so they don't have to be.<\/p>\n<p>They can go to Him and receive forgiveness and feel better. They can<\/p>\n<p>have hope, also, to be different.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:So Abbey, if you're in bed at night, and these feelings of shame and<\/p>\n<p>condemnation wash over you, what do you do?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:I'm trying to remember\u2014I think it was Martin Luther who was like\u2014there's<\/p>\n<p>a quote, where he's like, \u201cIf the enemy comes to me, and says, effectively, \u201cYou're the worst,\u201d I just say: \u201cYou're right!\u201d and \u201cChrist covers it.\u201d The truth of the gospel gives us the courage, and the confidence, and the secure identity to be able to take an honest look at our hearts, and say, \u201cYuck\u201d; and then, also look at the cross, and say, \u201cThanks\u201d; and then, look to the Holy Spirit, who lives within us, and be filled with hope: \u201cYay, I am being changed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The beauty of being aware of our sin is that we're not blind to it\u2014not just running around, hurting people, without a realization of what we're doing\u2014we can't repent of something we don't see. I think it\u2019s what the enemy wants to use to pull us out of the game\u2014because what\u2019s the next thought?\u2014it's: \"I don't want to do this anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u201cI'm disqualified.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Yeah; \u201cI want to drive away and not affect them anymore,\u201d \u201c\u2026not ruin<\/p>\n<p>them,\u201d\u2014whatever. Instead, we take that to Jesus, and say, \u201cYou died for<\/p>\n<p>this,\u201d and \u201cYou can help me to be different. You can help me to do better,<\/p>\n<p>and I want to depend on you to do better.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That's really good. I can remember having\u2014I got into the habit, after I had<\/p>\n<p>this horrible day, when I was having all those thoughts of how I'm such a<\/p>\n<p>bad mom, and how all of my actions will affect them so negatively as they<\/p>\n<p>become adults\u2014I started confessing it. First of all, just telling Jesus the<\/p>\n<p>truth of what I was feeling: \u201cI feel this,\u201d \u201cI feel this,\u201d \u201cI did this\u201d; and then, I'm repenting: \u201cI'm sorry. I don't want to be that mom. I need Your help.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That piece of repentance, that piece of surrender, the piece of confessing it\u2014He's so gracious; isn't He?\u2014because I stopped, for a minute that one time; and I said, \u201cLord, what do You see?\u201d I felt like He was saying it was identity: \u201cYou're in Me.\u201d Then it was all about what He had done for me so that I don't have to live in condemnation, because He was condemned for me; it is the gospel.<\/p>\n<p>But then, it was so sweet; I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit. I had gone<\/p>\n<p>through my list of all my failures; and then, I felt prompted by the Holy<\/p>\n<p>Spirit to say, \u201cWhat are the things that you did right today?\u201d I had a big list:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFirst one, I fed my children,\u201d \u201cI gave them a bath tonight,\u201d \u201cI even had a<\/p>\n<p>snack\u2014it wasn't always healthy\u2014but I gave them a snack.\u201d And then, I<\/p>\n<p>thought, \u201cOh, and I did\u2014we laughed together\u2014we played some great<\/p>\n<p>games.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It's amazing how you can come up with a list of: \u201cOh, I did do some<\/p>\n<p>things.\u201d I felt like Jesus was saying, \u201cRemember that you're not patting<\/p>\n<p>yourself on the back, but you're realizing that you're doing things that I see\u2014all those little things\u2014I see all of those things.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Celebration is so important, I think. There's a distinction of\u2014when we fail,<\/p>\n<p>we want to soothe ourselves with what we've done well\u2014that's a danger.<\/p>\n<p>But when Scripture talks about grace\u2014there's God-saving grace; and<\/p>\n<p>then, there's His enabling grace that helps us to walk in the good works<\/p>\n<p>that He's prepared for us to live righteous lives\u2014and so that's where I<\/p>\n<p>think walking through those two things of: \u201cOkay, Your grace covers all<\/p>\n<p>this wrong,\u201d and \u201cAlso I see You're enabling grace in my life that gives me<\/p>\n<p>the confidence to go into tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:And it's not that you start with: \u201cHere's what I did right,\u201d \u2014that's different. It<\/p>\n<p>started with confession and repentance; and then, His covering of us. I<\/p>\n<p>like\u2014you're deep\u2014she\u2019s smart.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Okay; talk to the husbands who are listening to this. I'm one of them, and<\/p>\n<p>going, \u201cWhat do I do when my wife is spiraling?\u2014I can see it, or she's saying it,\u201d or \u201cShe's had a hard day; and maybe, she's feeling the shame that she didn't do a good job today with the kids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I come home\u2014could be noon; it could be whatever\u2014I've done it wrong<\/p>\n<p>many times, when you're there, almost like, \u201cCome on; you can step out<\/p>\n<p>of it,\u201d\u2014 and not understand\u2014\u201cNo, she's in it.\u201d But as a man, as a<\/p>\n<p>husband, we're like, \u201cCoach us: what's the best way to respond to you<\/p>\n<p>ladies when you're in that mom shame\/mom guilt space?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Are y'all familiar with Bob Flayhart?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:No.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:He's a sweetie pie\u2014PCA [Presbyterian Church of America] pastor\u2014I hope<\/p>\n<p>he's not offended by that. But he has written this book called The Gospel<\/p>\n<p>Waltz. In my mind, I thought, \u201cInvite her to dance. And it's like three<\/p>\n<p>steps\u2014a waltz is three steps\u2014and the steps are: repent, believe, obey.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The danger of two-stepping is that you go from repentance to obedience\u2014<\/p>\n<p>like, \u201cOoh, I blew it; I'll try harder,\u201d\u2014or you go from repentance to belief<\/p>\n<p>and leave out obedience: \u201cI messed up, but it's okay; Christ covered it. I'm<\/p>\n<p>just going to live freely,\u201d\u2014whatever; and you don't make an effort to be<\/p>\n<p>living righteously.<\/p>\n<p>I would say, \u201cInvite your wife to dance. The temptation is to soothe her<\/p>\n<p>with her good works: \u2018No, you're a great mom\u2026\u2019\u201d\u2014blah, blah, blah. But<\/p>\n<p>she knows, in that moment, that she's not the best mom right now.\u201d I<\/p>\n<p>would give her true comfort\u2014true biblical comfort\u2014and say: \u201cYou know<\/p>\n<p>what? That isn't okay; that is really messed up\u2014that you did \u2018X,\u2019 \u2018Y,\u2019 \u2018Z\u2019<\/p>\n<p>thing\u2014 that you've confessed to me. But also, you are beloved; and God<\/p>\n<p>is at work in you. I see God at work in you.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Have you apologized?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Did you repair?\u2019 Because that's just as valuable as doing it right, statistically and psychologically.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018And then, have you confessed and received an assurance pardon from the Lord? Have you experienced His peace over this?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u2018And then, let's work together to think: \u201cWhere are you living past your limits?\u201d or \u201cWhat would you walk back and do differently? How would you want to handle it differently?\u201d\u2019<\/p>\n<p>You're walking her through: \u201cLet's confess what you did wrong; let's receive Christ\u2019s covering; and let's think about how we can strive for gospel obedience by the power of the Holy Spirit.\u2019\u201d I think it's tempting, just to say: \u201cNo, you're a great mom,\u201d or \u201cIt's okay; everybody does it\u201d; but that's not true comfort.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:But if Dave would have said, \u201cYou need to walk back through\u2026\u201d\u2014if he said anything about \u201cYou need to\u2026\u201d\u2014I'd be, \u201cI'm out!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:What if he said, \u201cLet\u2019s\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u201cLet's\u2026\u201d; then, I'd feel like, \u201cOh, because you're perfect?\u201d See now, you're<\/p>\n<p>dealing with a true sinner here; I'm just going to say. But if Dave would<\/p>\n<p>listen to me and empathize\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave:You have to start there.<\/p>\n<p>AbbeyOh, yeah; connection first.<\/p>\n<p>Ann: He would put his hand on my back, and say,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u201cIt's hard being a mom.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I've been right there [in my feelings]. And then, together: \u201cWe need to<\/p>\n<p>pray.\u201d Him praying for me that I would remember all of those things you<\/p>\n<p>just said.<\/p>\n<p>I'm more rebellious than you are, Abbey.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Oh, my word; I just love the gospel! I'm just need it so much. And I<\/p>\n<p>don't always believe it; I need someone to help me believe it.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I've got more pride than you do.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:That's okay; that's good.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I love this.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:That's good to see it from different perspectives. I think that's important\u2014<\/p>\n<p>being prayed over\u2014that's important.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I like that; I like that we have two different thoughts on it.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Oh, yeah; but I think we can both agree that saying, \u201cIt's okay,\u201d is not true<\/p>\n<p>comfort.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:No; to me, you're lying. \u201cDon't; that's not true. Because I'm not right now,<\/p>\n<p>and what I did is not okay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:And I love the thought, too, of him really listening, and saying, \u201cI see you; I<\/p>\n<p>see how hard you're trying. I see how little you're sleeping,\u201d \u201cI see the<\/p>\n<p>effort you're making,\u201d\u2014whatever. I think that's really important.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u201cHow can I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:\u201cHow can I help?<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Let me just pause, and say, \u201cIf you need help as a parent,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I do.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I'm like, \u201cWho does not need help as a parent?\u201d We have help for you at FamilyLife.com\/ParentingHelp. It's free; it's some of our best stuff. We put it together for you. You need help; I need help\u2014we all need help\u2014go to FamilyLife.com\/ParentingHelp and get help.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I want Abbey to read one of these. It's great because several of these are<\/p>\n<p>board books. How many are there going to be total?\u2014because they're not<\/p>\n<p>all out yet.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Right now, the contract is six board books and three storybooks. The storybooks rhyme and are for kids three to six\u2014so pre-K, kindergarten, first grade\u2014and then, the board books are zero to three.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Why did you want to do some board books, too?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Oh, well, the board books: I think just because mom's asking, \u201cHow can I<\/p>\n<p>talk to my kids about the gospel? We don't want to wait until they're eight<\/p>\n<p>years old; and then, start talking to them about the gospel.\u201d The gospel is<\/p>\n<p>good news for our failures from the very beginning. And so we want to<\/p>\n<p>hold it out to our children, from the very beginning. We're building habits<\/p>\n<p>for them of how they respond to their sin.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI'm sorry, Lord,\u201d shouldn't be unfamiliar, coming off of the lips of children<\/p>\n<p>who grow up in Christian homes. I think\u2014for the knee-jerk reaction of<\/p>\n<p>my child\u2014when he bites, or hits, or does something that is a result of the<\/p>\n<p>fall. I mean, it's developmentally normal behavior, that he'll likely outgrow;<\/p>\n<p>but he will not outgrow his need for the gospel.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:But even as they get older, and what they're saying; even littles of just<\/p>\n<p>being mean with their words.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Yeah, that's in the mouths book. There's a line that says: \u201cWe say the<\/p>\n<p>worst thing we can think of\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Oh, this should be a parent book, too.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:\u2014\u201dand you can't take them back.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann: \u2014a marriage book.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:In talking about shame\u2014that's what that book says\u2014\"When we say<\/p>\n<p>something, it makes us feel icky; and we cannot take it back. What do we do?\u201d And that's what Jesus covers.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, so this is the board book: God Made My Mouth. \u201cWhat are<\/p>\n<p>mouths for?\u201d \u201cGod made my mouth to\u201d\u2014and you lift a flap\u2014\"smile and laugh.\u201d There's something fun under every flap; that's fun. \u201cGod made my<\/p>\n<p>mouth to talk: \u201cBlah, blah, blah.\u2019\u201d \u201c God made my mouth to chew my food.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There are onomatopoeias in there you can play with and have fun. \u201cGod<\/p>\n<p>made my mouth to give kisses.\u201d I get videos from moms a lot; their kids<\/p>\n<p>are doing the things with them.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:So sweet.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:\u201cGod made my mouth to blow bubbles.\u201d Under that flap, when you open it,<\/p>\n<p>it pops!\u2014which is fun.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid God make my mouth to bite my friends?\u201d \u201cNo, of course not.\u201d I'll pause to say, \u201cOne thing I love about these books is I think they also build<\/p>\n<p>emotional empathy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Oh, yeah.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:They help kids develop emotional intelligence, because they can see their<\/p>\n<p>reactions.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:See their emotions on their face.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:\u201cDid God make my mouth to say hurtful words or tell lies?\u201d \u201cNo, of course<\/p>\n<p>not.\u201d \u201cJesus was a child with a mouth, just like me. Jesus always used His mouth to tell the truth and love others. Jesus used His mouth to say \u2018Yes,\u2019 to God's plan, a plan to forgive me for any wrong thing I do. So when I use my mouth to lie or to be unkind, I can say, \u2018I'm sorry.\u2019 If I trust Jesus, God always forgives me; His Holy Spirit helps me tell the truth and love others, just like Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMy mouth was made to sing and give thanks to God.\u201d They always end<\/p>\n<p>on a celebratory note, but the elements of the book are the same: \u201cHere are great things you can do with their mouth...\u201d \u201cHere are not great things you can do with your mouth...\u201d \u201cHere's what to do with your mouth when you fail, and what to do with your mouth when you want to do better.\u201d It also just points to how Jesus used His mouth.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I like that you point to Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:I mean, how else can we survive?<\/p>\n<p>Dave:You, literally, share the gospel.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:It is the gospel.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:It's the gospel. Every one of these books has the same\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:\u2014thread.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:That's why I'm so thankful that they exist, Dave; because the toddler years<\/p>\n<p>are so filled with \u201cDo's\u201d and \u201cDon'ts.\u201d Who is getting corrected more than a<\/p>\n<p>two-year-old? How would that feel? They're so resilient, but you're just<\/p>\n<p>getting corrected all day. It's like, all of a sudden, we risk turning them into<\/p>\n<p>little legalists if we're only giving them \u201cDo's\u201d and \u201cDon\u2019ts.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And then, suddenly, they're eight; and we're talking about the gospel. We<\/p>\n<p>need to be holding it out to them from the beginning; so they always know:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou don't have to conjure this on your own. You depend on the Spirit to obey. That's the kind of obedience we want. We don't want them to be<\/p>\n<p>obeying to please us or obeying because they're afraid. We want them to<\/p>\n<p>be motivated by grace and obeying from a posture of dependence on the Spirit. That's why I love these books, because they help them have the<\/p>\n<p>right posture from the beginning.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yesterday, we talked about your books: What Are Hands For?\u2014you were<\/p>\n<p>talking about how the boys can hit each other or get into arguments. Then,<\/p>\n<p>you talked about how one of your sons went through\u2014most kids go<\/p>\n<p>through a biting phase\u2014What Are Mouths For?<\/p>\n<p>What are the stories behind the other ones?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Oh, okay. So you think about the verses: \u201cPresent your members for<\/p>\n<p>righteousness and not for sin.\u201d There are ways we sin with our ears by not<\/p>\n<p>listening to our parents or by turning a deaf ear to people who need to be<\/p>\n<p>heard. And ways we sin with our eyes: looking down on others, rolling<\/p>\n<p>them in disrespect; and with our feet: running away from the people who<\/p>\n<p>take care of us.<\/p>\n<p>We just wanted to make the series all-encompassing; so that it's repetitive<\/p>\n<p>so that the gospel message is really clear and cemented. But each book is<\/p>\n<p>distinctive so that the kid is learning how to apply it to different areas of<\/p>\n<p>their lives.<\/p>\n<p>The older kid storybook about eyes is so timely\u2014the average age of<\/p>\n<p>exposure to pornography now is eight\u2014last I looked.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Whoa; it was ten before.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Yeah; it's lowering, I think, with devices in schools. It talks about looking at<\/p>\n<p>people with dignity and as image-bearers, and that's really important.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:How did you write that one? The one, \u2026Your Amazing Hands, you were<\/p>\n<p>nursing. How did you happen to come up with that one?\u2014because it's a<\/p>\n<p>poem.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Yeah, that one's in a coffee shop, just outlining. Each one kind of points to<\/p>\n<p>a different\u2014this is a little nerdy\u2014but each one kind of points to a different<\/p>\n<p>element of justification, sanctification, or glorification.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:I love it.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:And \u2026Eyes is really focused on glorification: we will see God; and He'll be<\/p>\n<p>the light by which we see; and we'll see people as He intended us to.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Is that how it ends?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Yeah, it ends that way,\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That's sweet.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:\u2014with the hope of heaven.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That's sweet.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:It makes me very grateful.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Are you going to get Abbey to sing this song?<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I don't know; what's the song?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Oh, yes!<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I can play it.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:We were doing little ditty earlier.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That's right; we were singing\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dave: Is this one of your books? What is it?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Yes; this is a tool that I use with my boys, a framework for them to think<\/p>\n<p>about how their words affect others. If they misspeak, I love to say, \u201cTry it again,\u201d\u2014instead of\u2014\u201cGo to your room\u201d; so they have the chance to practice. We'll say: \u201cTry it again,\u201d or I'll say, \u201cRun it through the filter.\u201d This song we were doing earlier is our filter song that I sing with our kids.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Have you ever sung this to your husband?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:No, but my kids sing it to me sometimes. And they\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Do they?!<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Really?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey: Yeah; they'll\u2014Walter in particular.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yeah, kids will speak the truth; won\u2019t they?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:I've given them permission; I'm like\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Me, too; that\u2019s good.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:\u2014which is good. It's healthy.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Okay; you want to sing it?<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:This is Dave on guitar, not me; so if he messes up.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I hope I\u2019m playing it right.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:[Singing] \u201c\u2019Is it kind?\u2019 \u2018Is it helpful?\u2019 \u2018Does it need to be said?\u2019 \u2018Is it true?\u2019\u2014<\/p>\n<p>these questions make a filter in my head so that I can love my neighbor; so that I can honor God\u2014I think before I speak.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That is really good.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Isn't that fun?!<\/p>\n<p>Ann:You even did the high version, and you did it.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:I know; I went all the way through. I don't think I breathed, didn't take a<\/p>\n<p>breath.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Nice.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:That worked.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:But I think it's good to have things like that to refer back to. It's a reference point.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:So they know that your kids know that song.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Oh, yes; yep. They know it, and they sing it to each other. Or I\u2019ll say, \u201cRun<\/p>\n<p>it back through the filter: \u2018Was it kind?\u2019 \u2018Was it helpful?\u2019\u201d\u2014sometimes,<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat's true, but probably doesn\u2019t need to be said.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yes, say the words again; go through it.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:\u201cIs it kind?\u201d\u2014this is Amy Carmichael\u2014\"Is it kind?\u201d \u201cIs it helpful?\u201d \u201cIs it<\/p>\n<p>necessary?\u201d\u2014she says. But we say: \u201cDoes it need to be said?\u201d \u201cIs it true?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And then, we talk about, all the time: \u201cWhat are the two greatest<\/p>\n<p>commandments?\u201d\u2014\u201cTo love God and love your neighbor.\u201d We reference<\/p>\n<p>that in that song; that has been very helpful to them.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Have you ever caught your kids, when you're not around\u2014but you can<\/p>\n<p>hear them\u2014referencing their hands or their mouth, based on what you've<\/p>\n<p>taught them?\u2014without you doing it; but they're doing it.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Yes, yes. I have heard my oldest say to my youngest: \u201cWho made your<\/p>\n<p>hands?\u201d in a moment; or \u201cWhat are your hands for?\u201d Actually, when Henry<\/p>\n<p>was a baby, I did walk in, to my oldest clapping his hands: \u201cHands are for clapping, waving, high-fiving, not for pinching.\u201d That is really beautiful to<\/p>\n<p>me: to see them have the tools of how to respond. He was the one who<\/p>\n<p>was pinched, and so to see him respond with God's created order instead<\/p>\n<p>of anger was really encouraging.<\/p>\n<p>I get a lot of videos of older siblings reading these books to younger<\/p>\n<p>siblings, and it just delights me. But that's the goal; isn't it?\u2014to equip<\/p>\n<p>them; to equip them to do this for themselves and to know that the truth<\/p>\n<p>comes.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I hate to tell you\u2014you already know this\u2014but these are not just for kids.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey: Oh!<\/p>\n<p>Ann:It's true.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:When you think about it\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:I cry every time I read this book; every time.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:But when you think about it\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Ann:They applied it.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:\u2014as adults: \u201cHow do we use our hands?\u201d \u201cHow do we use our ears, our<\/p>\n<p>eyes, our mouths?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When you were talking earlier, I thought, \u201cThere should be a teenage<\/p>\n<p>version for: \u2018How do we use our bodies?\u2019 as you talk about honoring God<\/p>\n<p>with your temple;1 Corinthians 6.\u201d It'd be a whole different version, but it'd<\/p>\n<p>be that conversation; because they're thinking, not just about their eyes<\/p>\n<p>and their nose, but other parts of their bodies. That's critical.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:That's a good way to practice confession, too; isn't it?\u2014like: \u201cStart at your<\/p>\n<p>head.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ann:Yes; see, we're coming up with all kinds of books that you can write,<\/p>\n<p>Abbey.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:Oh, my goodness. If only there was more time.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Go nurse another baby and go write another one.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey: I know my agent's like, \u201cNo one wants to read a book from you unless it's<\/p>\n<p>been a year and a half.\u201d We got to do it in a year and a half.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Really?<\/p>\n<p>Ann:That's awesome; this has been really helpful.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:Yeah, we'd love to send you one of Abbey's books. You don't even know<\/p>\n<p>which one you're going to get; but it's going to be one of these: \u2026Hands, \u2026Ears, \u2026Mouth, \u2026Eyes. It's just going to show up at your door, and it's<\/p>\n<p>going to be awesome.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow do you get one?\u201d\u2014give us gift. We are a listener-supported ministry;<\/p>\n<p>your financial donation means the world to us. You can do that right now if<\/p>\n<p>you'd like at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or give us a call at 800-358-6329; 800-358-6329.<\/p>\n<p>Abbey:That's F as in Family, L as in Life, and the word, TODAY.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:She did it better; the first time she ever did it.<\/p>\n<p>Ann:She smiled the whole time.<\/p>\n<p>Dave:I\u2019m smiling, too.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2025 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p>www.FamilyLife.com<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/312195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=312195"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/312196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=312195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=312195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=312195"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=312195"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=312195"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=312195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}