{"id":311035,"date":"2024-12-10T03:28:21","date_gmt":"2024-12-10T08:28:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/breaking-generational-cycles-brant-hansen\/"},"modified":"2024-12-10T03:28:22","modified_gmt":"2024-12-10T08:28:22","slug":"breaking-generational-cycles-brant-hansen","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/breaking-generational-cycles-brant-hansen\/","title":{"rendered":"Breaking Generational Cycles: Brant Hansen"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>From the challenges of growing up in a dysfunctional household to the joys of raising children, Brant Hansen delves into the depths of the human experience. Discover how faith, resilience, and open communication can help us break generational cycles and build stronger, healthier families.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From dysfunction to joy, Brant Hansen explores how faith, resilience, and open communication can break cycles and build stronger families.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/f352e7e0-780b-43ce-8b67-b22e016b3c56\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:53","filesize":"27.40M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2095,2934],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[10919],"cwp_profile":[3634],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-311035","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-relationships","podcast_series-brant-hansen-fatherhood-and-forgiveness","cwp_profile-brant-hansen","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/311035\/breaking-generational-cycles-brant-hansen","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/311035\/breaking-generational-cycles-brant-hansen","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Fe54NBatzc\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/breaking-generational-cycles-brant-hansen\/\">Breaking Generational Cycles: Brant Hansen<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/breaking-generational-cycles-brant-hansen\/embed\/#?secret=Fe54NBatzc\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Breaking Generational Cycles: Brant Hansen&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Fe54NBatzc\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["f352e7e0-780b-43ce-8b67-b22e016b3c56"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/f352e7e0-780b-43ce-8b67-b22e016b3c56\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:29:53"],"filesize":["27.40M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"show_notes":["\n<ul>\n<li>Learn more about Brant Hansen on his website <a href=\"https:\/\/branthansen.com\/\">branthansen.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-creator\/brant-hansen\/\">See Brant's books online at the FamilyLife Store<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/category\/articles\/topics\/parenting\/essentials\/fathers\/\">Read FamilyLife articles on fatherhood<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Find more resources on <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/parenting\/teens\/\">parenting teens<\/a>\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-12-10.pdf"],"transcript_content":["\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript\r\n\r\nThis content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nBreaking Generational Cycles\r\n\r\nGuest:Brant Hansen\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Fatherhood and Forgiveness (Day 2 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:December 10, 2024\r\n\r\nBrant: Living a healthy life is going to be dependent on\u2014no matter what you've gone through with your parents\u2014ultimately, you have to forgive even your enemies. And I'm so tragic that they turned out to be your enemy maybe; but that's the work in front of us, and it frees us.\r\n\r\nAnn: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.\r\n\r\nDave:And I'm Dave Wilson. And you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nDave: Alright, so we've talked about this here before; but everybody brings luggage into their marriage\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014from their past.\r\n\r\nDave: We've got Brant Hansen here today. Brant, I want to know what luggage you brought in. But here's my thought: \u201cWouldn't it be cool if, at a real wedding, the groom and bride walked up; and they had all these bags. They just sat them beside each other as they stood in front of the pastor.\u201d Don't you think that'd be funny?\r\n\r\nAnn: No.\r\n\r\nDave: He's got these big bags, and she's got little bags; and you're like, \u201cWhat is that?\u201d It's like: \u201cAh, that's what you're bringing in\u201d; and nobody knows that. But once you get married, after a couple of weeks, you're like, \u201cWhat is that?!\u201d We bring it.\r\n\r\nBrant: But there's a hint that there's luggage, right? Because traditionally, you have maybe \r\n\r\n100 people or 200 people gathered to watch you take a vow, to witness you take a vow. That's an indicator, early on: \u201cThis is not easy.\u201d If you think about it: \u201cWhy would you need witnesses?\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014you need to make a promise.\r\n\r\nBrant: \u2014\u2018I want you to remember you took a vow.\u2019\u201d You don't have to do that for other stuff that's going to be easy, so that should be an indicator.\r\n\r\nAnn: Ah, I never thought of that before: \u201cThis is a big deal.\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: \u201cMust be\u201d; yeah.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yeah, you're going to make this promise and vow before all of these people.\r\n\r\nBrant: \u201cWe saw you do it.\u201d You don't do that when it comes to going to an amusement park:\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014buying a house.\r\n\r\nBrant: \u201cI\u2019m going to take a vow to go to the amusement park.\u201d That may be a lot easier\u2014you don't have to do that\u2014but a vow: \u201cIt must be challenging.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: But the funny thing is\u2014it's not funny at all\u2014once you get married, and you start to see some of the stuff we bring in, that's where it gets hard. It's like, \u201cI didn't know, and neither did you, that marriage would be awesome; but it's also really, really difficult.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Exactly.\r\n\r\nDave: And that's why we're here. We're here to help you\/to help all of us do marriage the way God wants us to do it. And let me tell you: when we do it the way God wants, it can be incredible. But I got to tell you\u2014I just want to pause for a moment and remind you\u2014that everything we do, here at FamilyLife, is only possible because of people, just like you, and your generosity. You're praying for us; but especially, as you give to us financially, that keeps this ministry going and allowing us to bring hope, and truth, and realness to families like yours that are in need. \r\n\r\nIf you've been blessed by FamilyLife, I'm telling you: now is the time to step in and help others experience the same blessing. Here's how you can do that: head to FamilyLifeToday.com, and you can give your support. Your support means the world to us; go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Or feel free, you can give us a call at 800-358-6329. Again, the number is 800-F as in Family, L as in Life, and then the word, TODAY. \r\n\r\nDave: Okay, Brant, we talked yesterday. One of the bags I brought\u2014and it wasn't a carry on; it was being moved by four trucks.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014a trunk.\r\n\r\nDave: And it's overweight. And the plane's like: \u201cWe won't get off the ground with this bag\u201d; that's how big it was. I brought a father wound into our marriage, not even knowing what it was. I had never heard the term, \u201cfather wound,\u201d till we were probably married ten years.\r\n\r\nAnn: But I also think of what Jesus has done in and through both of us. And isn't He sweet\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: Oh, it's amazing.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014that He opens our trunk, and our bag, and He says, \u201cI can work with that. I can do something with that\u2014all that pain\u2014and I can even help you.\u201d And here's where we're going to go today: Forgive. Whew!\r\n\r\nDave: Yeah; part of what God can do with that requires our participation. So yesterday\u2014and if you missed yesterday\u2014go back and listen, because this conversation won't make sense if you don't understand the background. But we've talked about some of the hurts and wounds we carry from our dads; and our kids have them, too. But going on the journey to forgive. So Brant, talk about that journey for you.\r\n\r\nBrant: Well, you realize something\u2014if you go through stuff, growing up, or you have difficult dysfunction in your family of origin\u2014\"I may be saddled with this for the rest of my life unless I forgive. This may define me.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Wait, wait, wait. But people are like, \u201cNo, I don't even think about it anymore. I don't even think about that person because of what they've done.\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: I doubt that is the healthiest way\u2014\"I don't even acknowledge that I just went through all of that,\u201d\u2014even then, I think we're kidding ourselves. There's something very difficult sounding about it for a lot of people, like, \u201cYou do not realize,\u201d\u2014I'm listening to this\u2014\"You don't know the trauma that I went through.\u201d And it's like: \u201cNo, we don't; we don't. I only know mine; you know yours.\u201d There's various levels and things people have gone through. \r\n\r\nHowever, biblically, we know this: we have to forgive even our enemies. And the sad thing is that someone\u2014who should have been your best defender, or most nurturing person, or a combination\u2014wound up being an enemy. But still, the reason you do it isn't because they deserve it. That's the problem, too; it's like: \u201cWell, my dad doesn't deserve it,\u201d or \u201cMy mom\u2026\u201d Do you realize it's not about whether they deserve it or not; it's about the fact that you didn't deserve it. If you're somebody, who follows Jesus, and you believe in His forgiveness for you and what He's done on the cross, that is what we're supposed to extend to other people\u2014even to enemies: people who persecute us, people who insult us, people who have abused us\u2014and it's an opportunity, honestly, to be free.\r\n\r\nAnn: That's what I was going to ask: \u201cWhy?\u201d I mean, this is a big deal; Jesus talked about it quite a bit.\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: And why did He?\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes, because this is the way to freedom. This is our chance to, as an act of worship to God, saying, \u201cThank You for what You've done for me. Now, I'm going to do this for this person who failed as a parent.\u201d \r\n\r\nIt may be, in your case\u2014could be any number of things\u2014but without that, you're honestly still being affected by them. I really mean it's the way to freedom. Because if you think about it\u2014people will ask me, when I talk about this approach in Unoffendable, about letting go of anger\u2014that's really what forgiveness is. It's letting go of your right to anger against this person in spite of what they've done. But people will say, \u201cOkay, does that mean I have to stay in a relationship with this abusive person or this horrible situation?\u201d No, it doesn't. No, that's not what forgiveness is; you can still have boundaries.\r\n\r\nThat said, if you don't forgive this person, you are staying in relationship with them for the rest of your life. So this is the way out. This is a way to health and freedom. Jesus knows how we're made. He knows us best, and He's telling us: \u201cThis is the way to live.\u201d It's not an option if you're somebody who's a Jesus-follower. And it's actually a brilliant way to deal with parental wounds so that it doesn't infect the rest of your life.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yeah; did you guys\u2014I'm looking at both of you\u2014\"Did you guys have symptoms of unforgiveness before you actually went through the process of forgiving your dads?\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: I'll let you go first, Dave. It's your show; I'd like to stall.\r\n\r\nDave: Well, I was thinking Ann could tell you the symptoms.\r\n\r\nAnn: I'm thinking of listeners thinking, \u201cDo I have any unforgiveness?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Yeah; and again, I didn't realize it was connected to the wound. But yeah, I had anger. Ann said to me one day, early in our marriage, \u201cI'm just never going to bring up stuff in our marriage anymore, because all you do is blow up.\u201d I'm not kidding; I said, \u201cWhat are you talking about?!\u201d And she goes, \u201cJust like that\u2014Exhibit A\u2014you just blew up again, because I said I'm not going to bring it up.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Or it could be simple things\u2014like we were wallpapering one time\u2014this is probably years ago.\r\n\r\nDave: Well, everybody gets angry when they wallpaper. \r\n\r\nAnn: But that's what I'm saying. This is\u2014out of a 0 to 10 [scale]\u201410 being really hot rage. I mean, it was like the thing fell off\u2014and I get it; I've done it before\u2014it's so frustrating. But you would be at a 10 when, \u201cHey, it\u2019s just a 5 kind of thing.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014which is, as I studied anger\u2014and again, I'm in my, probably, early 30s then\u2014I didn't even know there's types of anger. [Anger] is a second emotion; it's usually not tied to what's going on. I'm like, \u201cOh, displaced is anger in this situation from another\/displaced from another [situation]. And then, chronic is displaced; but it's at a high level that's connected to something. Maybe it didn't happen this morning or last week; but ten years ago.\r\n\r\nIt was like a revelation: \u201cI've got chronic anger, and it's connected to my dad. I'm not blaming my dad; I got to deal with this.\u201d But it's connected to that. So yeah, there were symptoms that I realized, as a young father, with babies in the house, \u201cI got to get a handle on this or it's going\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014\u201cor it's going to handle me.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: We talked about that yesterday; it's like: \u201cI got to go on a journey now quick, or I'm going to repeat the sins of my father. Whether I want to or not, it's going to happen. I got to stop it.\u201d And so that's why I say: \u201cGod can do it; but He says, \u2018You got to go with Me on this journey. You got to be willing to participate, or we're never going to get there.\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: Well, anger will poison your relationships. It comes out towards other people in ways that you don't necessarily see and makes you prone to fall into foolishness and stuff that'll kill you. We know\u2014talk to any addictions\u2019 counselor\u2014when you're at your worst: hurt, angry, lonely, tired\u2014that's when your will really suffers. So to be in perpetual deep anger, it's going to crop up in other ways, too. It also\u2014we know this, physiologically\u2014spending your life, without forgiving people\u2014we know this\u2014it will destroy your insides. It causes your cortisol level to stay high: that causes weight gain; that causes your heart to have problems; that causes you to have skin problems, even like your adrenaline or cortisol. But we know this now, cortisol actually increases your appetite, too; so we eat more than we should. \r\n\r\nImagine what an angry culture, that doesn't practice forgiveness, might have problems with physical stuff, like crazy; manifesting it in pretty obvious ways. Unfortunately, we're not taught this. What we're taught\u2014unfortunately, in a lot of churches\u2014and I know: look, I grew up this way, too. I was taught that you can have righteous anger, and you should keep righteous anger. So what could be more righteous than: \u201cLook what I went through. This person's obviously wrong! I mean, I should hold onto that, right? I mean, that was really horrible\u201d? \r\n\r\nPeople who are listening went through worse stuff than I did, as a kid. But that's not a thing in Scripture. There is no separate category for humans of righteous anger. Only God's anger is righteous in the Bible. We can get angry, like you said, it's like a dashboard light that tells us something's wrong: \u201cSomething's wrong. That should not have happened.\u201d And you're right; it shouldn't. \r\n\r\nBut it also tells us we got to get to work on the forgiveness thing. So we're told to get rid of anger before the sun goes down, because it will have this deleterious effect on our physiognomy. We're told so, consistently, to get rid of it. \u201cAnger resides in the lap of fools,\u201d it says. Every Psalm\u2014every Proverb, I should say\u2014about anger is negative. It's not in the fruit of the Spirit; it's in all the other lists. So this is something that you can't continue to live with. \r\n\r\nAllowing a parent\u2014if it's a parent wound and allowing unforgiveness to persist\u2014that is poisoning your life for the rest of your life. You're still giving them power over you. And that's what I realized, I think as a young adult: \u201cI can continue to be angry about this; this can define me. This can define me and drive me the rest of my life.\u201d And it might even drive me to accomplish great things somehow\u2014like important impressive things\u2014I know it does for some people.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014\"I'll show you\u201d; yeah.\r\n\r\nBrant: You know that from football; that anger can like: \u201cWow, that linebacker hits harder than he probably should.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: \u201cHe thinks I'm his dad.\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: There's a lot of that going on. You talk to football players; they'll tell you that, right? There's a lot of that unreconciled anger thing going on.\r\n\r\nAnn: What do you mean by \u201cgiving them power over you\u201d?\r\n\r\nBrant: Well, because now they're still in your head constantly; or they are poised, and that anger is leaking out into other relationships; or it is costing me physically, even emotionally: \u201cI'm not growing up because I'm stuck with this.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: It's almost like they're still in the room.\r\n\r\nBrant: They're still in the room.\r\n\r\nDave: That's what I was going to say. I was going to say: \u201cWhen I was in that angry\u2014and it was a state of life for me\u2014it's like my dad was living in our house!\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: That's exactly right.\r\n\r\nDave: I brought him into our house, said, \u201cLive right here.\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: And now, it's torpedoing your marriage. And now, she has to live with your dad's\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s interesting.\r\n\r\nBrant: \u2014characteristics, hovering over.\r\n\r\nThe same thing could happen in our marriage\u2014for everybody's marriage\u2014but through forgiving, now, I'm charting a different path. I'm not angry with them; I'm free to think clearly. It's not dragging me down. It actually helps me grow up, as a believer. It's healthy.\r\n\r\nDave: How'd you get there? What'd your journey look like?\r\n\r\nBrant: I think that was part of it was going, \u201cWait a second. Even as a young adult: \u2018I don't want this to define the rest of my life; it can't.\u2019 It's actually an act of having these boundaries to say, \u2018You know what? You got the first however many years; but from now on, that's not going to be the way it is. I have my own life.\u2019\u201d \r\n\r\nI know you can relate to this. That was a conscious thought for me, was, \u201cGod bless you. I hope the rest of your life is awesome.\u201d You set up your own boundaries about how to interact and communicate or whatever. \u201cBut the rest of my life is not going to be like that. You don't get that control. You don't get to have that space.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: I mean, what a great way\u2014I've never heard anybody say it quite like that\u2014\"You got the first 15; I get the next 60\u201d\u2014or whatever.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yeah, that's good. \r\n\r\nBrant: \u201cYeah, you did.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: And some people will be like, \u201cWell, he got the first 20.\u201d Okay;\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant: Some people will say,\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014\"you get the next\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant: \u201cWait; she got the first 50 years of my life. I've been defined by her controlling,\u201d\u2014it could be a controlling mom that's got personality issues, or a dad\u2014but you, literally, can say, \u201cOkay, the next 50 is on\/I got this. So we're going to do it this way now.\u201d Maybe, if they still have access to you 24\/7, you say, \u201cNo, it's not going to work like that. From now on, this is how\u2026\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Set the boundaries.\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes; and again, that's not unforgiveness. You still love them; you want the best for them. You pray for them; pray for them. And if that's like: \u201cI can't do that\u201d; I know that sounds really hard: \u201cTry it.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: I remember somebody saying that. It's like, when Jesus said, \u201cBless those who curse you.\u201d I'm sitting there, thinking, I heard it was a pastor. He said, can you bless and wish them well and bless them? And I remember I was so angry at this person; I was like, \u201cI don't want to bless them. I want\/I want harm to come to them; you know what I mean? It's what we talked about: \u201cThey deserve..\u201d\u2014and you could go through the whole thing\/bad things to happen as a result of what they've done to me. I remember that was this little defining moment: \u201cCould I bless them and wish them well?\u201d Whew! That hard!\r\n\r\nBrant: It's hard. But tell you what: it gets easier over time.\r\n\r\nDave: What do you mean?\r\n\r\nBrant: Just like\u2014well, I keep coming back to sports with you\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: You don\u2019t need to do that.\r\n\r\nAnn: I wonder why!\r\n\r\nBrant: How many 7-step drops did you practice as a quarterback?\r\n\r\nAnn: I'm very impressed that you know that term. \r\n\r\nDave: I was a scrambler; I didn't go 7.\r\n\r\nBrant:Okay, okay; alright, alright.\r\n\r\nDave: But yeah, you're right. I mean\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant: \u2014over, and over,\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014over and over.\r\n\r\nBrant: \u2014so that you don't have to think about it anymore; it's become second nature. \r\n\r\nThe way of Jesus is this way. I encourage people\u2014if you're like: \u201cI just can't because what I went through, I can't pray for this parent,\u201d\u2014or whatever. \"Okay, let's start\u201d\u2014and I'm not joking; it sounds like a joke\u2014\"let's start with traffic. Let's start with blessing people in traffic.\u201d I\u2019m serious!\r\n\r\nDave: Oh, you just went too far, Brant.\r\n\r\nBrant: I know; I know. This is a sore spot for you.\r\n\r\nDave: I can't do that; ask my wife. I am the worst.\r\n\r\nBrant: I know; I know. But\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: I like it.\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes, so that's a fairly low-leverage possibility. Somebody cuts you off; or somebody's too slow; or somebody\u2014literally: \u201cWhat is that person going through?\u201d Can you say, \u201cLord, please bless that person's family.\u201d Or if they're driving angrily\u2014this person's obviously toxic, or in a horrible hurry; something's wrong\u2014\"Please bless that guy.\u201d I'm telling you: it sounds so hard at first; it becomes easier.\r\n\r\nAnn: It's practice. \r\n\r\nDave: It's like practicing the presence [of Christ].\r\n\r\nBrant: You practice it. And the reason you practice it is because\u2014just like with free throws; eventually, you practice 10,000 free throws\u2014now, you're in the game; you just do it without thinking. It becomes a way of life; it gets easier. The way of Jesus is easier than not following the way of Jesus; I'm convinced of it. What He is telling us about forgiveness\u2014it's a better way of life\u2014a forgiving way of life.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u201cMy burden is light,\u201d\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes; right! And He meant it. \u201cEasier\u201d He said [paraphrase], \u201cIt's easier to follow Jesus than not follow Jesus.\u201d That's the little secret. It's still hard, sometimes; but it's easier. Think about a life, where you're forgiving people, versus a life of unforgiveness. You tell me: \u201cWhat's an easier life?\u201d You can be upset at everybody all the time if you want, constantly. Just turn on the news\u2014the news of your choice\u2014and you can be angry 24\/7. Not only that, but your parents, your neighbors; or a way of life that's forgiving. And see if that doesn't\u2014that, also, just breathes life into the people around you; because, now, you're not as upset all the time. You're able to think more clearly; it's healthier. Jesus is telling this because He knows what He's talking about.\r\n\r\nAnn: So we start out, maybe with traffic,\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant: Honestly, yeah.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014blessing people. That could be a first step; and then, what?\r\n\r\nDave: That's my assignment for today. \r\n\r\nAnn: I said to Dave the other day\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: I can't imagine doing that.\r\n\r\nBrant: I know; it sounds so weird\u2014but even people working alongside the road, or somebody who's just standing there randomly\u2014they didn't do anything to you; but you could honestly say, \u201cLord, please bless that lady today.\u201d I'm telling you: it will change you.\r\n\r\nAnn: Dave and I were coming into the studio\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: When? Today?\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014yesterday. And there was somebody driving so slow, like ten miles an hour. He's like, \u201cWhat is happening?\u201d I'm like, \u201cMaybe she just got out of surgery. She could have this\u2014 \r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s what she said. Brad, she's like you.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014\u201ccould have a cast on her leg. We don\u2019t know what's\/she could have had tragic news.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: You said that: \u201cMaybe, her leg is broken; she can't push the accelerator.\u201d \r\n\r\nBrant: Okay.\r\n\r\nDave: I'm going to whip around her and get here on time. But\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant:Well, this sounds unrealistic\u2014and none of us are perfect\u2014but you do change over time. \r\n\r\nAnn: You do.\r\n\r\nBrant: You do. And this is the way to become more like Jesus; it's by practicing the stuff that He actually told us to do.\r\n\r\nDave: Well, the thing you said earlier\u2014that I was shocked by, still to this day\u2014I still marvel at this: \u201cWhen you truly forgive someone, who doesn't deserve it\u2014just like we were forgiven, and we didn't deserve it\u2014on the other side of that choice is what you said earlier; \u2018Freedom; there's a freedom.\u2019\u201d \r\n\r\nI used to say to the men at our church: \u201cI don't think I was free to become the man, the husband, the dad God wanted me to be\u2014that God created me to be; that God could shape me to be\u2014I don't think I was free to be that guy until I went through this process of cutting the chain to my dad, to say, \u201cI'm going to love him. I'm going to forgive him.\u201d And like you said\u2014didn't mean we're going to have this perfect little relationship\u2014but I'm going to set him free, not realizing I was the prisoner; and I'm the one who experienced the freedom. Now, I'm able to live a totally different life because I made that hard, hard choice. But God gives us\u2014it's like you said\u2014it's the ticket to a new life.\r\n\r\nBrant: It is. And it doesn't mean\u2014again, your boundary may mean they don't have access to you at all anymore\u2014it may have to come to that. But you can still forgive them and do that. It's about not harboring anger towards them; and it's good for you to forgive, and practice this thing. It's going to be good for you so that you can wind up\u2014think of all the people who've been blessed by what you guys do\u2014and when I say \u201cblessed,\u201d it sounds like a Christian-y thing to say; but there's not a really good other word for it. It's like, when you're blessing someone, you're adding value to their lives\u2014you're not subtracting it; that's a curse\u2014you've added value to people's lives. You're able to do that because of this freedom; because you're not consumed by your dad\u2014by living like him, or living opposite him, or whatever\u2014it's just like you've moved, because of forgiveness, you're able to move into who you could be.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yeah, that's good. Okay, so what's another step? If somebody feels like: \u201cI want to; I'm going to start practicing this. Now what?\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: Well, okay. I think it's really important, in the morning, to decide you're going to forgive people, in advance, because of what God has done for you. Remember, it's not dependent on them apologizing; most people won't apologize. Most people don't deserve forgiveness, but that's the whole point. So if you decide, ahead of time: \u201cI'm not going to be shocked; somebody's going to cut me off again.\u201d There's going to be the slow lady, with the broken leg, again, Dave. \r\n\r\nDave: So now, she has a broken leg; an amputee.\r\n\r\nBrant: So we don't know; but we do know that that's going to exist today for us. So I'm going to forgive people, in advance; I'm not going to be shocked by human nature every day\u2014constantly churning against humans\u2014people are going to do that stuff.\r\n\r\nAnn: Just watch the news, or get on a newsfeed, or social media.\r\n\r\nDave: Why are we surprised? We do it, too! We hurt others.\r\n\r\nBrant: Two brothers were born to Adam and Eve\u2014look how that worked out\u2014humans have a problem. We should know that; if we're Jesus-people, we know this; I think that's a big part of it. \r\n\r\nAnd asking God for the grace. We, literally, run on grace; it's like jet fuel. Ask Him for the grace to burn today to forgive people\u2014from Him, through you, towards others\u2014again, this is about us changing. No, it's not easy at first; but it gets better. It becomes a way of life, and people are going to notice that you're at peace.\r\n\r\nDave: Do you feel like\u2014if we hold onto bitterness, and resentment, and unforgiveness\u2014we're just not going to forgive; or we can't: we just feel like, \u201cI can't.\u201d Do you feel like it stunts our spiritual walk with God? \r\n\r\nOne of the reasons I ask you that is we have a son, who will be praying with someone, and say, \u201cHey,\u201d\u2014and he's told me this\u2014\u201cso what do you feel like God's saying to you?\u201d And they say, \u201cI can't hear God; I never can hear God.\u201d And every time, he says\u2014I look at him, and say, \u201cDo you have unforgiveness in your life?\u201d\u2014and they're like, \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cThere's somebody in your life you haven't forgiven; you know you need to?\u201d He says, \u201cOne hundred percent of the time, they say, \u2018Yes.\u2019\u201d He goes, \u201cI think there's a connection between being able to sense, even as you're reading the Word of God, it coming alive to you.\u201d He goes, \u201cI think there's a connection between unforgiveness and\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: You think it puts a little kink in the connection?\r\n\r\nDave:Yeah; it's like\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant:Absolutely, it does.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014you're not going to hear the voice of God. You're not going to be able to take the next step, spiritually, if you hold onto this. It's like you got to let go.\r\n\r\nBrant: Yeah, and those are just the words of Jesus. He's the most brilliant man who ever lived, in addition to being God in the flesh, walking among us. But when He tells us to do this, we can say\u2014you can listen to me on the radio, or you guys, and say\u2014\u201cWell, you just don't understand my background.\u201d Okay, but Jesus does; and this is what He told you to do, and it's for our good. So I highly encourage that: living a healthy life is going to be dependent on, no matter what you've gone through with your parents, ultimately, you have to forgive even your enemies. And it\u2019s so tragic that they turned out to be your enemy, maybe. But that's the work in front of us, and it frees us.\r\n\r\nAnn: Brant, I'm thinking about where we started yesterday, as you shared the journey with your dad. Did you ever tell him that you forgave him?\r\n\r\nBrant: Oh, yeah.\r\n\r\nAnn: How'd that go? Take us back to that time.\r\n\r\nBrant: I think that's a struggle for him; it keeps coming up. But I have told him, repeatedly, that: \u201cThose days are over,\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cFinish strong.\u201d He has to live with his own regrets, too. And so my position is: \u201cWhen we talk, that's not on the table anymore; we're done with that. Let's talk\u2026\u201d I'd rather talk about\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: You don't keep bringing it up.\r\n\r\nBrant: No, we talk about the Cardinals or something; anything else. I told him that\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u201cWe're done talking about that.\u201d \r\n\r\nBrant: Yeah; that is not\u2014\u201cWe are going to finish strong,\u201d\u2014is what's going to happen. Everybody's relationship can be different; you have to set up different boundaries and whatnot. But in that case, that's what we've done. \r\n\r\nBut even in the case, where your parent has passed on, that forgiveness still needs to happen; and that's between you and God. Again, it's not even about the person, in a way, it\u2019s so that you're free. You do it, out of thankfulness, as an act of worship to God; because of what He's done for you. \r\n\r\nDave: And I'll close with this, Brant: \u201cWay to go.\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: Oh, thanks.\r\n\r\nDave: Seriously, hearing your story\u2014I don't, obviously, know your dad, but hearing your story and your brother\u2014that's a manly choice. Talk about being a man\u2014it's not about big biceps\u2014it's about big forgiveness in a lot of ways. And so the way you love Carolyn and your kids is totally different because you went on a journey. Way to go.\r\n\r\nBrant: Thanks, man.\r\n\r\nBrant: Hey, my name is Brant Hansen. I'm an author, and a radio guy, and a big fan of this ministry. I'm a fan of what Dave and Ann do on FamilyLife, the way they honestly talk about things and the way they point to the kingdom of God. There's not much in our culture like this; it's such a refreshing thing. I wanted to let you know, if you want to donate to support it, it would be wonderful; all this month, your donation gets doubled. And that's a huge thing to support this ministry. If you can't, totally understand; but if you are in a place where you could do that, thanks for locking arms with FamilyLife this month and making this incredibly important ministry happen; you will be making a difference.\r\n\r\nAnn: We love Brant Hansen.\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes, we do.\r\n\r\nAnn: But I love, too, that\u2014not only will your gift be doubled, up to $2.5 million\u2014but we have a holiday bundle that we want to send to you.\r\n\r\nDave: Who doesn't like a holiday bundle?\r\n\r\nAnn: I love\u2014and you're going to love these books\u2014one is Our Faithful God Devotional, which is this beautiful 52 Weeks of Leaning on His Unchanging Character by Katie Davis Majors; and also the other one. I don't know if you've ever seen any of the books that Ruth Chou Simons have done, but they're beautifully artistically done. This is a children's book, which is called Home Is Right Where You Are; it's inspired by Psalm 23. It is a gorgeous book that we want to give you.\r\n\r\nDave: You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make a donation there, and we'll send you these books. Or if you want to give us a call, just call us at 800-358-6329. Again, the number is 800-F as in Family, L as in Life, and then the word, TODAY.\r\n\r\nAnn: So coming up tomorrow, Dave and I are going to be talking about gift-giving stress.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014the story of my Christmas, right there; don't miss that one.\r\n\r\nAnn: And we'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife.com                                 \r\n\r\n\n"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-311035.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-311035.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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});\";s:18:\"current_block_list\";a:17:{i:0;s:14:\"uagb\/container\";i:1;s:12:\"core\/heading\";i:2;s:9:\"core\/html\";i:3;s:10:\"core\/group\";i:6;s:21:\"uagb\/advanced-heading\";i:7;s:14:\"uagb\/separator\";i:8;s:14:\"uagb\/icon-list\";i:9;s:20:\"uagb\/icon-list-child\";i:10;s:11:\"core\/search\";i:13;s:18:\"core\/legacy-widget\";i:16;s:10:\"uagb\/image\";i:17;s:17:\"core\/social-links\";i:18;s:16:\"core\/social-link\";i:19;s:14:\"core\/paragraph\";i:20;s:30:\"meta-box\/fl-conditional-blocks\";i:21;s:12:\"uagb\/buttons\";i:22;s:18:\"uagb\/buttons-child\";}s:8:\"uag_flag\";b:1;s:11:\"uag_version\";s:10:\"1776600200\";s:6:\"gfonts\";a:1:{s:7:\"Default\";a:2:{s:10:\"fontfamily\";s:7:\"Default\";s:12:\"fontvariants\";a:0:{}}}s:10:\"gfonts_url\";s:71:\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Default&subset=latin&display=fallback\";s:12:\"gfonts_files\";a:0:{}s:14:\"uag_faq_layout\";b:0;}"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg",1024,1024,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Margaret","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coylefamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"From dysfunction to joy, Brant Hansen explores how faith, resilience, and open communication can break cycles and build stronger families.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"\n<ul>\n<li>Learn more about Brant Hansen on his website <a href=\"https:\/\/branthansen.com\/\">branthansen.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-creator\/brant-hansen\/\">See Brant's books online at the FamilyLife Store<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/category\/articles\/topics\/parenting\/essentials\/fathers\/\">Read FamilyLife articles on fatherhood<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Find more resources on <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/parenting\/teens\/\">parenting teens<\/a>\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-12-10.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript\r\n\r\nThis content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nBreaking Generational Cycles\r\n\r\nGuest:Brant Hansen\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Fatherhood and Forgiveness (Day 2 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:December 10, 2024\r\n\r\nBrant: Living a healthy life is going to be dependent on\u2014no matter what you've gone through with your parents\u2014ultimately, you have to forgive even your enemies. And I'm so tragic that they turned out to be your enemy maybe; but that's the work in front of us, and it frees us.\r\n\r\nAnn: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.\r\n\r\nDave:And I'm Dave Wilson. And you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nDave: Alright, so we've talked about this here before; but everybody brings luggage into their marriage\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014from their past.\r\n\r\nDave: We've got Brant Hansen here today. Brant, I want to know what luggage you brought in. But here's my thought: \u201cWouldn't it be cool if, at a real wedding, the groom and bride walked up; and they had all these bags. They just sat them beside each other as they stood in front of the pastor.\u201d Don't you think that'd be funny?\r\n\r\nAnn: No.\r\n\r\nDave: He's got these big bags, and she's got little bags; and you're like, \u201cWhat is that?\u201d It's like: \u201cAh, that's what you're bringing in\u201d; and nobody knows that. But once you get married, after a couple of weeks, you're like, \u201cWhat is that?!\u201d We bring it.\r\n\r\nBrant: But there's a hint that there's luggage, right? Because traditionally, you have maybe \r\n\r\n100 people or 200 people gathered to watch you take a vow, to witness you take a vow. That's an indicator, early on: \u201cThis is not easy.\u201d If you think about it: \u201cWhy would you need witnesses?\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014you need to make a promise.\r\n\r\nBrant: \u2014\u2018I want you to remember you took a vow.\u2019\u201d You don't have to do that for other stuff that's going to be easy, so that should be an indicator.\r\n\r\nAnn: Ah, I never thought of that before: \u201cThis is a big deal.\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: \u201cMust be\u201d; yeah.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yeah, you're going to make this promise and vow before all of these people.\r\n\r\nBrant: \u201cWe saw you do it.\u201d You don't do that when it comes to going to an amusement park:\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014buying a house.\r\n\r\nBrant: \u201cI\u2019m going to take a vow to go to the amusement park.\u201d That may be a lot easier\u2014you don't have to do that\u2014but a vow: \u201cIt must be challenging.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: But the funny thing is\u2014it's not funny at all\u2014once you get married, and you start to see some of the stuff we bring in, that's where it gets hard. It's like, \u201cI didn't know, and neither did you, that marriage would be awesome; but it's also really, really difficult.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Exactly.\r\n\r\nDave: And that's why we're here. We're here to help you\/to help all of us do marriage the way God wants us to do it. And let me tell you: when we do it the way God wants, it can be incredible. But I got to tell you\u2014I just want to pause for a moment and remind you\u2014that everything we do, here at FamilyLife, is only possible because of people, just like you, and your generosity. You're praying for us; but especially, as you give to us financially, that keeps this ministry going and allowing us to bring hope, and truth, and realness to families like yours that are in need. \r\n\r\nIf you've been blessed by FamilyLife, I'm telling you: now is the time to step in and help others experience the same blessing. Here's how you can do that: head to FamilyLifeToday.com, and you can give your support. Your support means the world to us; go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Or feel free, you can give us a call at 800-358-6329. Again, the number is 800-F as in Family, L as in Life, and then the word, TODAY. \r\n\r\nDave: Okay, Brant, we talked yesterday. One of the bags I brought\u2014and it wasn't a carry on; it was being moved by four trucks.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014a trunk.\r\n\r\nDave: And it's overweight. And the plane's like: \u201cWe won't get off the ground with this bag\u201d; that's how big it was. I brought a father wound into our marriage, not even knowing what it was. I had never heard the term, \u201cfather wound,\u201d till we were probably married ten years.\r\n\r\nAnn: But I also think of what Jesus has done in and through both of us. And isn't He sweet\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: Oh, it's amazing.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014that He opens our trunk, and our bag, and He says, \u201cI can work with that. I can do something with that\u2014all that pain\u2014and I can even help you.\u201d And here's where we're going to go today: Forgive. Whew!\r\n\r\nDave: Yeah; part of what God can do with that requires our participation. So yesterday\u2014and if you missed yesterday\u2014go back and listen, because this conversation won't make sense if you don't understand the background. But we've talked about some of the hurts and wounds we carry from our dads; and our kids have them, too. But going on the journey to forgive. So Brant, talk about that journey for you.\r\n\r\nBrant: Well, you realize something\u2014if you go through stuff, growing up, or you have difficult dysfunction in your family of origin\u2014\"I may be saddled with this for the rest of my life unless I forgive. This may define me.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Wait, wait, wait. But people are like, \u201cNo, I don't even think about it anymore. I don't even think about that person because of what they've done.\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: I doubt that is the healthiest way\u2014\"I don't even acknowledge that I just went through all of that,\u201d\u2014even then, I think we're kidding ourselves. There's something very difficult sounding about it for a lot of people, like, \u201cYou do not realize,\u201d\u2014I'm listening to this\u2014\"You don't know the trauma that I went through.\u201d And it's like: \u201cNo, we don't; we don't. I only know mine; you know yours.\u201d There's various levels and things people have gone through. \r\n\r\nHowever, biblically, we know this: we have to forgive even our enemies. And the sad thing is that someone\u2014who should have been your best defender, or most nurturing person, or a combination\u2014wound up being an enemy. But still, the reason you do it isn't because they deserve it. That's the problem, too; it's like: \u201cWell, my dad doesn't deserve it,\u201d or \u201cMy mom\u2026\u201d Do you realize it's not about whether they deserve it or not; it's about the fact that you didn't deserve it. If you're somebody, who follows Jesus, and you believe in His forgiveness for you and what He's done on the cross, that is what we're supposed to extend to other people\u2014even to enemies: people who persecute us, people who insult us, people who have abused us\u2014and it's an opportunity, honestly, to be free.\r\n\r\nAnn: That's what I was going to ask: \u201cWhy?\u201d I mean, this is a big deal; Jesus talked about it quite a bit.\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: And why did He?\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes, because this is the way to freedom. This is our chance to, as an act of worship to God, saying, \u201cThank You for what You've done for me. Now, I'm going to do this for this person who failed as a parent.\u201d \r\n\r\nIt may be, in your case\u2014could be any number of things\u2014but without that, you're honestly still being affected by them. I really mean it's the way to freedom. Because if you think about it\u2014people will ask me, when I talk about this approach in Unoffendable, about letting go of anger\u2014that's really what forgiveness is. It's letting go of your right to anger against this person in spite of what they've done. But people will say, \u201cOkay, does that mean I have to stay in a relationship with this abusive person or this horrible situation?\u201d No, it doesn't. No, that's not what forgiveness is; you can still have boundaries.\r\n\r\nThat said, if you don't forgive this person, you are staying in relationship with them for the rest of your life. So this is the way out. This is a way to health and freedom. Jesus knows how we're made. He knows us best, and He's telling us: \u201cThis is the way to live.\u201d It's not an option if you're somebody who's a Jesus-follower. And it's actually a brilliant way to deal with parental wounds so that it doesn't infect the rest of your life.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yeah; did you guys\u2014I'm looking at both of you\u2014\"Did you guys have symptoms of unforgiveness before you actually went through the process of forgiving your dads?\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: I'll let you go first, Dave. It's your show; I'd like to stall.\r\n\r\nDave: Well, I was thinking Ann could tell you the symptoms.\r\n\r\nAnn: I'm thinking of listeners thinking, \u201cDo I have any unforgiveness?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Yeah; and again, I didn't realize it was connected to the wound. But yeah, I had anger. Ann said to me one day, early in our marriage, \u201cI'm just never going to bring up stuff in our marriage anymore, because all you do is blow up.\u201d I'm not kidding; I said, \u201cWhat are you talking about?!\u201d And she goes, \u201cJust like that\u2014Exhibit A\u2014you just blew up again, because I said I'm not going to bring it up.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Or it could be simple things\u2014like we were wallpapering one time\u2014this is probably years ago.\r\n\r\nDave: Well, everybody gets angry when they wallpaper. \r\n\r\nAnn: But that's what I'm saying. This is\u2014out of a 0 to 10 [scale]\u201410 being really hot rage. I mean, it was like the thing fell off\u2014and I get it; I've done it before\u2014it's so frustrating. But you would be at a 10 when, \u201cHey, it\u2019s just a 5 kind of thing.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014which is, as I studied anger\u2014and again, I'm in my, probably, early 30s then\u2014I didn't even know there's types of anger. [Anger] is a second emotion; it's usually not tied to what's going on. I'm like, \u201cOh, displaced is anger in this situation from another\/displaced from another [situation]. And then, chronic is displaced; but it's at a high level that's connected to something. Maybe it didn't happen this morning or last week; but ten years ago.\r\n\r\nIt was like a revelation: \u201cI've got chronic anger, and it's connected to my dad. I'm not blaming my dad; I got to deal with this.\u201d But it's connected to that. So yeah, there were symptoms that I realized, as a young father, with babies in the house, \u201cI got to get a handle on this or it's going\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014\u201cor it's going to handle me.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: We talked about that yesterday; it's like: \u201cI got to go on a journey now quick, or I'm going to repeat the sins of my father. Whether I want to or not, it's going to happen. I got to stop it.\u201d And so that's why I say: \u201cGod can do it; but He says, \u2018You got to go with Me on this journey. You got to be willing to participate, or we're never going to get there.\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: Well, anger will poison your relationships. It comes out towards other people in ways that you don't necessarily see and makes you prone to fall into foolishness and stuff that'll kill you. We know\u2014talk to any addictions\u2019 counselor\u2014when you're at your worst: hurt, angry, lonely, tired\u2014that's when your will really suffers. So to be in perpetual deep anger, it's going to crop up in other ways, too. It also\u2014we know this, physiologically\u2014spending your life, without forgiving people\u2014we know this\u2014it will destroy your insides. It causes your cortisol level to stay high: that causes weight gain; that causes your heart to have problems; that causes you to have skin problems, even like your adrenaline or cortisol. But we know this now, cortisol actually increases your appetite, too; so we eat more than we should. \r\n\r\nImagine what an angry culture, that doesn't practice forgiveness, might have problems with physical stuff, like crazy; manifesting it in pretty obvious ways. Unfortunately, we're not taught this. What we're taught\u2014unfortunately, in a lot of churches\u2014and I know: look, I grew up this way, too. I was taught that you can have righteous anger, and you should keep righteous anger. So what could be more righteous than: \u201cLook what I went through. This person's obviously wrong! I mean, I should hold onto that, right? I mean, that was really horrible\u201d? \r\n\r\nPeople who are listening went through worse stuff than I did, as a kid. But that's not a thing in Scripture. There is no separate category for humans of righteous anger. Only God's anger is righteous in the Bible. We can get angry, like you said, it's like a dashboard light that tells us something's wrong: \u201cSomething's wrong. That should not have happened.\u201d And you're right; it shouldn't. \r\n\r\nBut it also tells us we got to get to work on the forgiveness thing. So we're told to get rid of anger before the sun goes down, because it will have this deleterious effect on our physiognomy. We're told so, consistently, to get rid of it. \u201cAnger resides in the lap of fools,\u201d it says. Every Psalm\u2014every Proverb, I should say\u2014about anger is negative. It's not in the fruit of the Spirit; it's in all the other lists. So this is something that you can't continue to live with. \r\n\r\nAllowing a parent\u2014if it's a parent wound and allowing unforgiveness to persist\u2014that is poisoning your life for the rest of your life. You're still giving them power over you. And that's what I realized, I think as a young adult: \u201cI can continue to be angry about this; this can define me. This can define me and drive me the rest of my life.\u201d And it might even drive me to accomplish great things somehow\u2014like important impressive things\u2014I know it does for some people.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014\"I'll show you\u201d; yeah.\r\n\r\nBrant: You know that from football; that anger can like: \u201cWow, that linebacker hits harder than he probably should.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: \u201cHe thinks I'm his dad.\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: There's a lot of that going on. You talk to football players; they'll tell you that, right? There's a lot of that unreconciled anger thing going on.\r\n\r\nAnn: What do you mean by \u201cgiving them power over you\u201d?\r\n\r\nBrant: Well, because now they're still in your head constantly; or they are poised, and that anger is leaking out into other relationships; or it is costing me physically, even emotionally: \u201cI'm not growing up because I'm stuck with this.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: It's almost like they're still in the room.\r\n\r\nBrant: They're still in the room.\r\n\r\nDave: That's what I was going to say. I was going to say: \u201cWhen I was in that angry\u2014and it was a state of life for me\u2014it's like my dad was living in our house!\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: That's exactly right.\r\n\r\nDave: I brought him into our house, said, \u201cLive right here.\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: And now, it's torpedoing your marriage. And now, she has to live with your dad's\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s interesting.\r\n\r\nBrant: \u2014characteristics, hovering over.\r\n\r\nThe same thing could happen in our marriage\u2014for everybody's marriage\u2014but through forgiving, now, I'm charting a different path. I'm not angry with them; I'm free to think clearly. It's not dragging me down. It actually helps me grow up, as a believer. It's healthy.\r\n\r\nDave: How'd you get there? What'd your journey look like?\r\n\r\nBrant: I think that was part of it was going, \u201cWait a second. Even as a young adult: \u2018I don't want this to define the rest of my life; it can't.\u2019 It's actually an act of having these boundaries to say, \u2018You know what? You got the first however many years; but from now on, that's not going to be the way it is. I have my own life.\u2019\u201d \r\n\r\nI know you can relate to this. That was a conscious thought for me, was, \u201cGod bless you. I hope the rest of your life is awesome.\u201d You set up your own boundaries about how to interact and communicate or whatever. \u201cBut the rest of my life is not going to be like that. You don't get that control. You don't get to have that space.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: I mean, what a great way\u2014I've never heard anybody say it quite like that\u2014\"You got the first 15; I get the next 60\u201d\u2014or whatever.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yeah, that's good. \r\n\r\nBrant: \u201cYeah, you did.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: And some people will be like, \u201cWell, he got the first 20.\u201d Okay;\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant: Some people will say,\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014\"you get the next\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant: \u201cWait; she got the first 50 years of my life. I've been defined by her controlling,\u201d\u2014it could be a controlling mom that's got personality issues, or a dad\u2014but you, literally, can say, \u201cOkay, the next 50 is on\/I got this. So we're going to do it this way now.\u201d Maybe, if they still have access to you 24\/7, you say, \u201cNo, it's not going to work like that. From now on, this is how\u2026\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Set the boundaries.\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes; and again, that's not unforgiveness. You still love them; you want the best for them. You pray for them; pray for them. And if that's like: \u201cI can't do that\u201d; I know that sounds really hard: \u201cTry it.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: I remember somebody saying that. It's like, when Jesus said, \u201cBless those who curse you.\u201d I'm sitting there, thinking, I heard it was a pastor. He said, can you bless and wish them well and bless them? And I remember I was so angry at this person; I was like, \u201cI don't want to bless them. I want\/I want harm to come to them; you know what I mean? It's what we talked about: \u201cThey deserve..\u201d\u2014and you could go through the whole thing\/bad things to happen as a result of what they've done to me. I remember that was this little defining moment: \u201cCould I bless them and wish them well?\u201d Whew! That hard!\r\n\r\nBrant: It's hard. But tell you what: it gets easier over time.\r\n\r\nDave: What do you mean?\r\n\r\nBrant: Just like\u2014well, I keep coming back to sports with you\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: You don\u2019t need to do that.\r\n\r\nAnn: I wonder why!\r\n\r\nBrant: How many 7-step drops did you practice as a quarterback?\r\n\r\nAnn: I'm very impressed that you know that term. \r\n\r\nDave: I was a scrambler; I didn't go 7.\r\n\r\nBrant:Okay, okay; alright, alright.\r\n\r\nDave: But yeah, you're right. I mean\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant: \u2014over, and over,\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014over and over.\r\n\r\nBrant: \u2014so that you don't have to think about it anymore; it's become second nature. \r\n\r\nThe way of Jesus is this way. I encourage people\u2014if you're like: \u201cI just can't because what I went through, I can't pray for this parent,\u201d\u2014or whatever. \"Okay, let's start\u201d\u2014and I'm not joking; it sounds like a joke\u2014\"let's start with traffic. Let's start with blessing people in traffic.\u201d I\u2019m serious!\r\n\r\nDave: Oh, you just went too far, Brant.\r\n\r\nBrant: I know; I know. This is a sore spot for you.\r\n\r\nDave: I can't do that; ask my wife. I am the worst.\r\n\r\nBrant: I know; I know. But\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: I like it.\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes, so that's a fairly low-leverage possibility. Somebody cuts you off; or somebody's too slow; or somebody\u2014literally: \u201cWhat is that person going through?\u201d Can you say, \u201cLord, please bless that person's family.\u201d Or if they're driving angrily\u2014this person's obviously toxic, or in a horrible hurry; something's wrong\u2014\"Please bless that guy.\u201d I'm telling you: it sounds so hard at first; it becomes easier.\r\n\r\nAnn: It's practice. \r\n\r\nDave: It's like practicing the presence [of Christ].\r\n\r\nBrant: You practice it. And the reason you practice it is because\u2014just like with free throws; eventually, you practice 10,000 free throws\u2014now, you're in the game; you just do it without thinking. It becomes a way of life; it gets easier. The way of Jesus is easier than not following the way of Jesus; I'm convinced of it. What He is telling us about forgiveness\u2014it's a better way of life\u2014a forgiving way of life.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u201cMy burden is light,\u201d\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes; right! And He meant it. \u201cEasier\u201d He said [paraphrase], \u201cIt's easier to follow Jesus than not follow Jesus.\u201d That's the little secret. It's still hard, sometimes; but it's easier. Think about a life, where you're forgiving people, versus a life of unforgiveness. You tell me: \u201cWhat's an easier life?\u201d You can be upset at everybody all the time if you want, constantly. Just turn on the news\u2014the news of your choice\u2014and you can be angry 24\/7. Not only that, but your parents, your neighbors; or a way of life that's forgiving. And see if that doesn't\u2014that, also, just breathes life into the people around you; because, now, you're not as upset all the time. You're able to think more clearly; it's healthier. Jesus is telling this because He knows what He's talking about.\r\n\r\nAnn: So we start out, maybe with traffic,\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant: Honestly, yeah.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014blessing people. That could be a first step; and then, what?\r\n\r\nDave: That's my assignment for today. \r\n\r\nAnn: I said to Dave the other day\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: I can't imagine doing that.\r\n\r\nBrant: I know; it sounds so weird\u2014but even people working alongside the road, or somebody who's just standing there randomly\u2014they didn't do anything to you; but you could honestly say, \u201cLord, please bless that lady today.\u201d I'm telling you: it will change you.\r\n\r\nAnn: Dave and I were coming into the studio\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: When? Today?\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014yesterday. And there was somebody driving so slow, like ten miles an hour. He's like, \u201cWhat is happening?\u201d I'm like, \u201cMaybe she just got out of surgery. She could have this\u2014 \r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s what she said. Brad, she's like you.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014\u201ccould have a cast on her leg. We don\u2019t know what's\/she could have had tragic news.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: You said that: \u201cMaybe, her leg is broken; she can't push the accelerator.\u201d \r\n\r\nBrant: Okay.\r\n\r\nDave: I'm going to whip around her and get here on time. But\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant:Well, this sounds unrealistic\u2014and none of us are perfect\u2014but you do change over time. \r\n\r\nAnn: You do.\r\n\r\nBrant: You do. And this is the way to become more like Jesus; it's by practicing the stuff that He actually told us to do.\r\n\r\nDave: Well, the thing you said earlier\u2014that I was shocked by, still to this day\u2014I still marvel at this: \u201cWhen you truly forgive someone, who doesn't deserve it\u2014just like we were forgiven, and we didn't deserve it\u2014on the other side of that choice is what you said earlier; \u2018Freedom; there's a freedom.\u2019\u201d \r\n\r\nI used to say to the men at our church: \u201cI don't think I was free to become the man, the husband, the dad God wanted me to be\u2014that God created me to be; that God could shape me to be\u2014I don't think I was free to be that guy until I went through this process of cutting the chain to my dad, to say, \u201cI'm going to love him. I'm going to forgive him.\u201d And like you said\u2014didn't mean we're going to have this perfect little relationship\u2014but I'm going to set him free, not realizing I was the prisoner; and I'm the one who experienced the freedom. Now, I'm able to live a totally different life because I made that hard, hard choice. But God gives us\u2014it's like you said\u2014it's the ticket to a new life.\r\n\r\nBrant: It is. And it doesn't mean\u2014again, your boundary may mean they don't have access to you at all anymore\u2014it may have to come to that. But you can still forgive them and do that. It's about not harboring anger towards them; and it's good for you to forgive, and practice this thing. It's going to be good for you so that you can wind up\u2014think of all the people who've been blessed by what you guys do\u2014and when I say \u201cblessed,\u201d it sounds like a Christian-y thing to say; but there's not a really good other word for it. It's like, when you're blessing someone, you're adding value to their lives\u2014you're not subtracting it; that's a curse\u2014you've added value to people's lives. You're able to do that because of this freedom; because you're not consumed by your dad\u2014by living like him, or living opposite him, or whatever\u2014it's just like you've moved, because of forgiveness, you're able to move into who you could be.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yeah, that's good. Okay, so what's another step? If somebody feels like: \u201cI want to; I'm going to start practicing this. Now what?\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: Well, okay. I think it's really important, in the morning, to decide you're going to forgive people, in advance, because of what God has done for you. Remember, it's not dependent on them apologizing; most people won't apologize. Most people don't deserve forgiveness, but that's the whole point. So if you decide, ahead of time: \u201cI'm not going to be shocked; somebody's going to cut me off again.\u201d There's going to be the slow lady, with the broken leg, again, Dave. \r\n\r\nDave: So now, she has a broken leg; an amputee.\r\n\r\nBrant: So we don't know; but we do know that that's going to exist today for us. So I'm going to forgive people, in advance; I'm not going to be shocked by human nature every day\u2014constantly churning against humans\u2014people are going to do that stuff.\r\n\r\nAnn: Just watch the news, or get on a newsfeed, or social media.\r\n\r\nDave: Why are we surprised? We do it, too! We hurt others.\r\n\r\nBrant: Two brothers were born to Adam and Eve\u2014look how that worked out\u2014humans have a problem. We should know that; if we're Jesus-people, we know this; I think that's a big part of it. \r\n\r\nAnd asking God for the grace. We, literally, run on grace; it's like jet fuel. Ask Him for the grace to burn today to forgive people\u2014from Him, through you, towards others\u2014again, this is about us changing. No, it's not easy at first; but it gets better. It becomes a way of life, and people are going to notice that you're at peace.\r\n\r\nDave: Do you feel like\u2014if we hold onto bitterness, and resentment, and unforgiveness\u2014we're just not going to forgive; or we can't: we just feel like, \u201cI can't.\u201d Do you feel like it stunts our spiritual walk with God? \r\n\r\nOne of the reasons I ask you that is we have a son, who will be praying with someone, and say, \u201cHey,\u201d\u2014and he's told me this\u2014\u201cso what do you feel like God's saying to you?\u201d And they say, \u201cI can't hear God; I never can hear God.\u201d And every time, he says\u2014I look at him, and say, \u201cDo you have unforgiveness in your life?\u201d\u2014and they're like, \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cThere's somebody in your life you haven't forgiven; you know you need to?\u201d He says, \u201cOne hundred percent of the time, they say, \u2018Yes.\u2019\u201d He goes, \u201cI think there's a connection between being able to sense, even as you're reading the Word of God, it coming alive to you.\u201d He goes, \u201cI think there's a connection between unforgiveness and\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: You think it puts a little kink in the connection?\r\n\r\nDave:Yeah; it's like\u2014\r\n\r\nBrant:Absolutely, it does.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014you're not going to hear the voice of God. You're not going to be able to take the next step, spiritually, if you hold onto this. It's like you got to let go.\r\n\r\nBrant: Yeah, and those are just the words of Jesus. He's the most brilliant man who ever lived, in addition to being God in the flesh, walking among us. But when He tells us to do this, we can say\u2014you can listen to me on the radio, or you guys, and say\u2014\u201cWell, you just don't understand my background.\u201d Okay, but Jesus does; and this is what He told you to do, and it's for our good. So I highly encourage that: living a healthy life is going to be dependent on, no matter what you've gone through with your parents, ultimately, you have to forgive even your enemies. And it\u2019s so tragic that they turned out to be your enemy, maybe. But that's the work in front of us, and it frees us.\r\n\r\nAnn: Brant, I'm thinking about where we started yesterday, as you shared the journey with your dad. Did you ever tell him that you forgave him?\r\n\r\nBrant: Oh, yeah.\r\n\r\nAnn: How'd that go? Take us back to that time.\r\n\r\nBrant: I think that's a struggle for him; it keeps coming up. But I have told him, repeatedly, that: \u201cThose days are over,\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cFinish strong.\u201d He has to live with his own regrets, too. And so my position is: \u201cWhen we talk, that's not on the table anymore; we're done with that. Let's talk\u2026\u201d I'd rather talk about\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: You don't keep bringing it up.\r\n\r\nBrant: No, we talk about the Cardinals or something; anything else. I told him that\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u201cWe're done talking about that.\u201d \r\n\r\nBrant: Yeah; that is not\u2014\u201cWe are going to finish strong,\u201d\u2014is what's going to happen. Everybody's relationship can be different; you have to set up different boundaries and whatnot. But in that case, that's what we've done. \r\n\r\nBut even in the case, where your parent has passed on, that forgiveness still needs to happen; and that's between you and God. Again, it's not even about the person, in a way, it\u2019s so that you're free. You do it, out of thankfulness, as an act of worship to God; because of what He's done for you. \r\n\r\nDave: And I'll close with this, Brant: \u201cWay to go.\u201d\r\n\r\nBrant: Oh, thanks.\r\n\r\nDave: Seriously, hearing your story\u2014I don't, obviously, know your dad, but hearing your story and your brother\u2014that's a manly choice. Talk about being a man\u2014it's not about big biceps\u2014it's about big forgiveness in a lot of ways. And so the way you love Carolyn and your kids is totally different because you went on a journey. Way to go.\r\n\r\nBrant: Thanks, man.\r\n\r\nBrant: Hey, my name is Brant Hansen. I'm an author, and a radio guy, and a big fan of this ministry. I'm a fan of what Dave and Ann do on FamilyLife, the way they honestly talk about things and the way they point to the kingdom of God. There's not much in our culture like this; it's such a refreshing thing. I wanted to let you know, if you want to donate to support it, it would be wonderful; all this month, your donation gets doubled. And that's a huge thing to support this ministry. If you can't, totally understand; but if you are in a place where you could do that, thanks for locking arms with FamilyLife this month and making this incredibly important ministry happen; you will be making a difference.\r\n\r\nAnn: We love Brant Hansen.\r\n\r\nBrant: Yes, we do.\r\n\r\nAnn: But I love, too, that\u2014not only will your gift be doubled, up to $2.5 million\u2014but we have a holiday bundle that we want to send to you.\r\n\r\nDave: Who doesn't like a holiday bundle?\r\n\r\nAnn: I love\u2014and you're going to love these books\u2014one is Our Faithful God Devotional, which is this beautiful 52 Weeks of Leaning on His Unchanging Character by Katie Davis Majors; and also the other one. I don't know if you've ever seen any of the books that Ruth Chou Simons have done, but they're beautifully artistically done. This is a children's book, which is called Home Is Right Where You Are; it's inspired by Psalm 23. It is a gorgeous book that we want to give you.\r\n\r\nDave: You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make a donation there, and we'll send you these books. Or if you want to give us a call, just call us at 800-358-6329. Again, the number is 800-F as in Family, L as in Life, and then the word, TODAY.\r\n\r\nAnn: So coming up tomorrow, Dave and I are going to be talking about gift-giving stress.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014the story of my Christmas, right there; don't miss that one.\r\n\r\nAnn: And we'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife.com                                 \r\n\r\n\n","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/311035","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=311035"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=311035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=311035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=311035"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=311035"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=311035"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=311035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}