{"id":310218,"date":"2024-11-14T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-11-14T08:59:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/your-life-matters-chris-singleton\/"},"modified":"2024-11-19T04:14:31","modified_gmt":"2024-11-19T09:14:31","slug":"your-life-matters-chris-singleton","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/your-life-matters-chris-singleton\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Life Matters: Chris Singleton"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Could celebrating each child\u2019s unique image of God help heal racial division? Speaker Chris Singleton discusses his new children\u2019s book, &#8220;Your Life Matters.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Could celebrating each child\u2019s unique image of God help heal racial division? On FamilyLife Today, Dave and Ann Wilson host speaker and baseball pro, Chris Singleton, who discusses his new children\u2019s book, &#8220;Your Life Matters.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/1164f3cb-2de8-4acb-8933-b21201129f6f\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:47","filesize":"23.64M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2848],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[8565],"cwp_profile":[9802],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-310218","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cultural-issues","podcast_series-chris-singleton-your-life-matters","cwp_profile-chris-singleton","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/310218\/your-life-matters-chris-singleton","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/310218\/your-life-matters-chris-singleton","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"DMHStuSJbK\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/your-life-matters-chris-singleton\/\">Your Life Matters: Chris Singleton<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/your-life-matters-chris-singleton\/embed\/#?secret=DMHStuSJbK\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Your Life Matters: Chris Singleton&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"DMHStuSJbK\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["1164f3cb-2de8-4acb-8933-b21201129f6f"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/1164f3cb-2de8-4acb-8933-b21201129f6f\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:25:47"],"filesize":["23.64M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"show_notes":["\n<ul>\n<li>Purchase Chris' children\u2019s book, \"<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/your-life-matters\/\">Your Life Matters<\/a>.\"<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-11-14.pdf"],"transcript_content":["\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript\r\n\r\nThis content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nYour Life Matters\r\n\r\nGuest:Chris Singleton\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Your Life Matters (Day 2 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:November 14, 2024\r\n\r\nDave: I do this\u2014I want to know if you do this\u2014when you\u2019re sitting in a mall, or maybe at an airport, or somewhere where there\u2019s a bunch of people walking by, and you\u2019re just sitting there\u2014do you ever find yourself judging people? \r\n\r\nAnn: No, I don\u2019t think I judge them.\r\n\r\nDave: You\u2019re just like perfect; aren\u2019t you?\r\n\r\nAnn: No! I\u2019m saying\/like you know what I do\u2014people walk by\u2014and I create these stories of their lives. \r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m calling it judging. \r\n\r\nAnn: Are you judging them?\r\n\r\nDave: I will make judgements about people that I don\u2019t know based on how they\u2019re walking, what they\u2019re wearing; if I can hear them talking, what they\u2019re talking about. It\u2019s terrible, but I\u2019m finding that I think I judge them. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes; I think we, as people, do that. We judge one another, not knowing their background or their story. \r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife Today!\r\n\r\nDave: Today, we want to talk a little bit about: \u201cHow do we see the image of God in everyone?\u201d\u2014those who are similar to us, those who are different; some that we might judge, without knowing, in a negative way\u2014\"How do we have the eyes of God to see people the way that God sees them?\u201d They\u2019re imager-bearers of our King, and they should be celebrated rather than judged.\r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve got Chris Singleton back in the studio at FamilyLife Today. Welcome back to FamilyLife Today, Chris. \r\n\r\nChris: Thank you, man. Glad to be back. \r\n\r\nDave: You\u2019re smiling over there because you wrote a book about this. It\u2019s called Different, and it\u2019s written for children. I read it, and I\u2019m telling you right now:\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014it\u2019s really good. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \u201cThis may be a children\u2019s book, but every adult needs to read it.\u201d You can tell us what your goal and your purpose was. I\u2019m guessing it sort of relates to what we were just talking about; right?\r\n\r\nChris: Absolutely, man. I would travel around\u2014speaking to schools, high schools, companies, and churches\u2014but I never felt safe talking with little kids. I said, \u201cMan, I\u2019ve got such a sad story,\u201d\u2014I don\u2019t want to take away their innocence; right?\u2014\u201cSo how do I get the same message of loving people across to kids?\u201d\r\n\r\nOne of the biggest things that we forget is that\u2014so many things we don\u2019t choose in our lives\u2014we forget that sometimes. Just thinking about it: we don\u2019t choose our names, most of the time; we\u2019re given our names; we don\u2019t choose where we\u2019re born, who we\u2019re born to. We even think, \u201cWhy do we like a certain type of music?\u201d\u2014maybe because we heard it, growing up? Or maybe, because when we finally heard it for the first time, we experienced a new music, it\u2019s like, \u201cMan, this experience is amazing!\u201d I try to remind people of that. \r\n\r\nBut with kids, I say, \u201cHow do I do that?\u201d; and this children\u2019s book came about. \r\n\r\nDave: Remind our listeners a little bit\u2014you just said you come from a sad story you don\u2019t want to tell the kids\u2014tell us in a minute or two a little bit about: \u201cWhat\u2019s this story?\u201d\r\n\r\nChris: Unfortunately, I lost my mom in the Mother Emmanuel AME Church shooting. On \r\n\r\nJune 17, 2015, she was one of nine victims that lost their life to a guy who wanted to start a race war in this country. Following that, I had this mission of unity: \u201cHow can I unite people? Even though we\u2019re different, even though some of us speak different languages, how can we come together?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s\u2014\u201cRemembering that we serve one God and one King, and we\u2019re all made in the image of Him,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s one thing we can do. \r\n\r\nI said, \u201cHow can I do that with kids?\u201d That\u2019s when this book came about. One of the things I do, with my story to honor my mom, is I put my mom in every single children\u2019s book that I write, some way\/somehow. She was an educator; my mom read books to me, growing up. I didn\u2019t even realize how lucky I was, as a kid, to have my mom reading to me; so many kids don\u2019t have that. That\u2019s why I wrote this book. \r\n\r\nMy favorite page\/I\u2019m going to read my favorite page, if you don\u2019t mind. \r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019d love to hear it. \r\n\r\nAnn: Do you think we should have a little background of what\u2019s happening in the story before you read this page?\r\n\r\nDave: I thought you were going to say, \u201c\u2026background music.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Oh. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nChris: This book is about a kid named Obina, coming from Nigeria. Obina gets to the States; and he gets to Charleston, where I\u2019m from. He gets picked on a little bit because he\u2019s different; right? He\u2019s wearing different clothes; he\u2019s got different hair, so kids are making fun of him. In the end, obviously, they celebrate Obina; they celebrate his differences. \r\n\r\nIn this part, I put my mom in this specific scene; because this is something she said to me. Obina\u2019s sad\u2014people are talking about him\u2014he throws off his Dashiki, his traditional clothing. [Reading] \u201cMrs. Sharonda handed him a tissue, and her eyes were soft, the kind of eyes that seem to know exactly what you\u2019re feeling without you having to say a word. They sat in silence for a long time; then, \u2018Never be ashamed of who you are, Obina,\u2019 Mrs. Sharonda said. \u2018You are beautifully and wonderfully made.\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nThat\u2019s my favorite part of the whole book. My mom used to pray for us when we were sleeping. She\u2019d come in our room, and she\u2019d pray over us, and let us know that we\u2019re beautifully and wonderfully made\/fearfully and wonderfully made. I wanted to definitely put that in this story to honor my mom and her memory. \r\n\r\nDave: As your mom told you that, as a young little boy, was it something you believed? Or was it something you had to walk through, struggle to believe?\r\n\r\nChris: No, it was good. I think, when your parents are building you up every single day, you\u2019ve got to have a certain level of confidence; right? For me, I\u2019m a dark-skinned kid\u2014so like every kid\u2014we get picked on for something. People would say things about me, being dark-skinned, and stuff like that. It was in one ear and out the other ear; why? Because my mom was telling me I was beautifully and wonderfully made. \r\n\r\nI think it\u2019s beautiful when parents are building their kids up every single day. When a kid goes to school\u2014and they hear something\u2014\u201cAh, it\u2019s funny; but my mom and dad tell me I\u2019m made in the image of God; I\u2019m made in the image of our Lord and Savior. Yes, it\u2019s cool, and it\u2019s a little joke; but I\u2019m fearfully and wonderfully made.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Oh, the whole thing just makes me cry.\r\n\r\nDave: Look at her over here! She\u2019s tearing up!\r\n\r\nAnn: The fact that you put your mom in every one of your books: the foundation that she gave you to tell you every day, and praying for you; reading books to you; talking about Jesus to you. \r\n\r\nAs a mom and a dad I think, often, we wonder, \u201cDo they hear us?\u201d They\u2019re messing around; they\u2019re throwing things around. You wonder, \u201cDo they hear me?\u201d Your life is basically saying, \u201cI heard my mom; not only did I hear her, I watched her. I want to bring honor to her.\u201d \r\n\r\nAs parents, I think that was my greatest fear: \u201cWill they understand that they were made in the image of God?\u2014that He loves them, that He sees them, that He celebrates them?\u201d\r\n\r\nI love your story because it reminds us, as parents, \u201cYes, they hear us.\u201d We might have to say it a million times, but that is the foundation. [Laughter] You\u2019re probably saying that to your boys now. \r\n\r\nChris: I am; I am. My son, C.J., is a kind of kid who would jump off of anything; he doesn\u2019t care if he gets hurt. So I\u2019ve got to wind him down; I\u2019ve got to pull him back. [Laughter] \r\n\r\nEven him, I want to let him know\u2014my wife is from Brazil, and she speaks Portuguese at home with our kids\u2014she wants them to learn her native language. Grandma, you know\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: So you\u2019ve got kids, bi-lingual, already?\r\n\r\nChris: Yes; at first, though, he wasn\u2019t speaking anything. I\u2019m speaking English: \u201cDaddy\/he\u2019s still trying to figure that thing out,\u201d\u2014I\u2019m still trying to figure out Portuguese\u2014it\u2019s a tough language; I\u2019m learning it. My wife\u2019s speaking Portuguese; Grandma\u2019s speaking Portuguese. So my son wouldn\u2019t saying anything. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cMan,\u201d\u2014I\u2019m nervous\u2014\"is his language okay?\u201d But everybody's saying, \u201cHey, he's learning both languages, Chris. That's why he's a little bit delayed.\u201d \r\n\r\nI\u2019m nervous; he goes to daycare, and all the other kids are talking. \u201cMy son\u2019s getting made fun of,\u201d\u2014is what I\u2019m thinking in my head because he can\u2019t say anything yet. And for me to just pour into him and let him know that \u201cHey, you're beautifully and wonderfully made.\u201d The same thing my mom told me; hopefully it stuck with him. Now, he talks way too much in both languages. [Laughter] I\u2019m grateful that he\u2019s able to speak; that\u2019s always a fear that I had. But just instilling it into him\u2014let him know whose image he\u2019s made into\u2014I think that\u2019s very important in every single child\u2019s development. \r\n\r\nDave: How important do you feel like it was for you, when you lost your mom\u2014a terrible way to lose your mother\u2014and you\u2019ve lost your dad as well now\u2014the foundation of understanding your identity. A pro athlete\u2019s identity, often, is connected to what they do, and they don\u2019t know who they are after or when they can\u2019t do that anymore. \r\n\r\nYou lose your mom; you lose your dad\u2014was that foundation of your identity in Christ, and understanding you\u2019re beautifully and wonderfully made; you heard that your whole life from your mom\u2014was that a foundation for you to be able to go forward?\r\n\r\nChris: It definitely was. I\u2019m such a believer in: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to find it for yourself as well\u201d; right? Your parents can lead you to the water your whole life, if you\u2019re not drinking it, then what\u2019s going to happen? For me, my mom was always instilling these things into me. Sometimes, you never know when you\u2019re going to need those things your mom and dad were talking about. When your pastor\u2019s telling you this, from four years ago; and he talked about it in a sports way, so it\u2019s stuck with you\u2014all of a sudden, you go through something, like, \u201cMan, I remember what my pastor said four years ago or so.\u201d\r\n\r\nI think it was definitely important that they instilled it into me, but I had to have that personal relationship myself. That\u2019s when things finally started to click for me\u2014a lot of stuff that wasn\u2019t making sense\u2014it finally started to make more sense for my life. \r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m just thinking about you: you\u2019re traveling a lot; you\u2019re speaking to businessmen\/businesswomen; you\u2019re speaking at schools\u2014high schools, middle schools, elementary schools. Your message is about unity?\u2014would you say that\u2019s the core message?\r\n\r\nChris: That\u2019s the message: \u201cHow we can live together in harmony.\u201d Yes, that\u2019s the message. \r\n\r\nAnn: Do you read your book to elementary school kids?\r\n\r\nChris: I do; absolutely. \r\n\r\nAnn: And what\u2019s the response like? \r\n\r\nChris: It\u2019s a great response. We have fun when I go to elementary schools. I get all the kids jumping up and down and smiling. The coolest thing that I do, though\u2014is at the end of the story, there\u2019s discussion questions\u2014I ask them, \u201cHey, what makes you different? We\u2019re going to celebrate. The whole school is going to celebrate what makes you different right now.\u201d\r\n\r\nYou\u2019ll have kids come up and say, \u201cYou know what, Mr. Singleton? I\u2019ve actually got six fingers.\u201d Instead of everybody laughing at this kid, we all celebrate him for being different; right? This other girl was saying, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve got a lazy eye; it\u2019s tough for me to see out of this one eye.\u201d Instead of laughing at her, we\u2019ll celebrate them because they\u2019re different. \r\n\r\nAnn: So do you guys cheer?\r\n\r\nChris: We do; we do something called a \u201cunity clap.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: I watched this! [Claps twice]\r\n\r\nChris: Yes, we clap twice in unison. If we do it together, it\u2019s more powerful. We\u2019ll have kids saying, \u201cMy mom\u2019s from this place; my dad\u2019s from this place.\u201d Some people say, \u201cI don\u2019t have a dad; that\u2019s what makes me different.\u201d And we\u2019ll celebrate. Instead of that kid feeling, \u201cMan, I\u2019m getting beat up because I\u2019m different,\u201d\u2014whatever it might be\u2014we celebrate it. It is a fantastic time.\r\n\r\nSometimes, I have teachers say, \u201cYou know what makes me different? I\u2019ve got webbed toes. I\u2019ve never told anybody, but today I\u2019m going to tell this school that I\u2019ve got webbed toes!\u201d [Laughter] It is a beautiful thing that we celebrate everybody when we do this in the schools. \r\n\r\nDave: I watched him do it; I don\u2019t know where you were\u2014with a bunch of elementary kids\u2014it looked like hundreds of them. You even got on them when they didn\u2019t unity clap in unison: \u201cLet\u2019s do that again. You can do better.\u201d [Laughter]\r\n\r\nChris: Exactly. \r\n\r\nDave: Help us understand\u2014okay; so when I grow up, and I\u2019m an adult; and I sit in a mall or an airport, and I judge people\u2014people I don\u2019t even know\u2014again, I\u2019m sort of having fun with that; I don\u2019t really think that. But there are times when, because people are different than us\u2014we don\u2019t understand; we don\u2019t know their history; we don\u2019t know their culture\u2014we judge and we build a wall rather than jump through that wall or build a bridge. Help us understand how we celebrate somebody who is different.\r\n\r\nChris: This is a great example of how I teach it. For me, I always say, \u201cShare your story before your stance.\u201d When you share your story, before whatever it is that you stand on, people usually understand why you stand where you do. \r\n\r\nWhen I tell my story of losing my mom the way that I did\u2014she was shot while she was praying, unfortunately\u2014when I tell somebody, \u201cI don\u2019t really like guns too much. I\u2019ll probably never have one myself,\u201d most people say, \u201cYou know what? I understand why Chris doesn\u2019t like them; because his mom was shot and killed while she was praying.\u201d \r\n\r\nOn the flip side, if somebody tells me, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve grown up hunting my whole life. My grandmother and grandfather had a gun, and grandmother had a gun next to them on the bed while they slept. It was normal for us. I\u2019ve gone hunting every single year: quail hunting, pheasant hunting, or deer hunting, or bear hunting,\u201d\u2014I didn\u2019t know that was a thing until just recently. When somebody says, \u201cChris, I love guns,\u201d\u2014after they tell me why or their story\u2014I can understand just as well. \r\n\r\nMost times, when we see somebody who\u2019s different, we hear their stance; and we say, \u201cYou know what? I could never agree with this person.\u201d You probably could agree to disagree if you understood their story. That is how I teach how we can come together and still believe in what we believe in. You don\u2019t have to change your heart. But we have so much division because we don\u2019t know everybody\u2019s story behind their stance. When we do, that\u2019s when we can say, \u201cYou know what? I understand why they think the way they do, even though that\u2019s not what I believe.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: I know, with a Detroit Lions Bible study that I led with their wives, I made a point, as we started doing it longer and longer, to hear each other\u2019s stories; because then you really do understand one another. And not only do we hear each other\u2019s stories\u2014but then, the parts of the story that [they] are wounded and things have happened\u2014when we listen, we start praying, \u201cLord, how can I encourage this person?\u201d After the person has shared their story, we\u2019ll speak life\u2014is what I call it\u2014speak life into the person\u2014 \r\n\r\nChris: I love that. \r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014of like: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry that happened to you,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m so sorry you\u2019ve gone through this. Here\u2019s some things I see in your life of the way you\u2019ve overcome that. It\u2019s miraculous!\u201d Or maybe they\u2019re still in it\u2014just to surround them\u2014and then, at the end, we\u2019ll lay hands on that person and pray for them. It binds us together; our hearts are connected when you hear one another\u2019s stories. \r\n\r\nDave: I can remember sitting in the college locker room, our football locker room. I remember there was a kid on our team from the inner city of Cincinnati. I\u2019m playing at Ball State in Indiana. I loved this guy, but I thought, \u201cWe are so different. We\u2019re nothing alike. He\u2019s a black guy; I\u2019m a white guy. He\u2019s from the inner city; I\u2019m from the suburbs,\u201d\u2014just all these differences. \r\n\r\nI\u2019ll never forget\u2014one day we ended up in the locker room together; most everybody had left\u2014and I\u2019m sitting right beside him. I didn\u2019t even plan to do this, but I say, \u201cHey, dude; tell me about your family. Tell me your story.\u201d As he started to talk about his family, I was sitting there, going, \u201cOh, my goodness; we are almost twins,\u201d in terms of like his dad was an alcoholic, walked out when he was a little boy; mom and dad got divorced; there was abuse. There was different things in his family; I\u2019m like\u2014\r\n\r\nHe looked at me and goes, \u201cSo what\u2019s your story?\u201d I go, \u201cIt\u2019s the same story.\u201d He goes, \u201cNo, it isn\u2019t, dude; what are you talking about? You\u2019re from Ohio;\u201d\u2014and da, da, da\u2014\"you have this family.\u201d I go, \u201cDad walked out when I was seven; he was an alcoholic; there was abuse.\u201d \r\n\r\nIt gave me a love for him, and he for me because we were different, but we weren\u2019t. It was like, \u201cWe\u2019ve got the same story!\u201d I never would have known that if I hadn\u2019t taken the moment to say\u2014just what you said, Chris\u2014\u201cTell me your story.\u201d It was like, \u201cWow! There\u2019s more in common here than there is different.\u201d\r\n\r\nChris: Absolutely.\r\n\r\nDave: God wanted us to build that. Is that part of the way you learn to love somebody you don\u2019t even know?\r\n\r\nChris: I\u2019ve recognized that going through pain and struggle is universal; right? In the Good Book it says, \u201cConsider it pure joy when you face the trials,\u201d\u2014not\u2014\u201cif we face those trials.\u201d We\u2019re all going to face trials. Some people, it happens when they\u2019re 12, like my brother; some people, it happens when they\u2019re 42\u2014it\u2019s just different times\u2014we\u2019re going to face them. The way we come together is getting each other through those times. \r\n\r\nI love that you mentioned that about your college teammate; because so often, we look at somebody, we say, \u201cThis person\u2019s never been through anything: they live there; they have this or they have that.\u201d Struggle and pain is universal\u2014different country, different places; even here in the States\u2014it\u2019s universal. \r\n\r\nI loved what you [Ann] said about us speaking life into people. The reason I love that so much is, when my mom was killed, so many people were praying for us. I know, sometimes, people say, I\u2019m praying for you,\u201d\u2014they may not even pray; they just say that\u2014it\u2019s just a nice thing to say. But I genuinely believe in the power of prayer. If people are actually praying for somebody, I think it does wonders. I believe in prayer so much. Before I even say, \u201cI\u2019m praying for you,\u201d I\u2019ll say, \u201cThe prayer\u2019s already been sent. That\u2019s how much I care about you: the prayer has already been sent.\u201d \r\n\r\nI remember back, when I lost my mom, people were sending us prayer blankets and all these quilts, and saying, \u201cI\u2019m praying for you all the time.\u201d It genuinely gave me strength to know that people were in my corner, praying for me; so thank you for doing that. Hopefully, everybody, listening, is doing that as well.\r\n\r\nAnn: When I was younger, I used to say that to somebody: \u201cHey, I will be praying for you.\u201d As I got older, I thought, \u201cSometimes, I just forget,\u201d\u2014you walk away and you forget to pray\u2014so what I try to do now is pray for somebody right there on the spot.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: It could take not even a minute; it could take 30 seconds. I did it with an Uber driver, not too long ago, where she shared with me what was going on. I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to be praying for you. Would you mind if I prayed for you right now?\u201d When I was done, she\u2019s crying! There\u2019s power in that; and the fact that somebody would take the time to actually pray words over you of blessing, and even comfort, of saying, \u201cLord, this must be so hard to have gone through. But thank You that You\u2019re there.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: She is telling you the truth. Everywhere we go\u2014could be in an airport, Uber driver, our neighborhood; I am not exaggerating\u2014she prays for people, right there, and speaks life to total strangers! [Laughter] Trust me. There\u2019s times, like, \u201cCan we just go now? Do you really have to walk over to that person?\u201d\r\n\r\nIt's amazing to watch the person\u2014usually, a stranger\u2014their face lights up. You can tell, maybe, nobody\u2019s ever done this; if they have, it\u2019s been years. Just that moment of looking somebody in the eye, listening long enough to know a little bit of their story, praying for them, and then blessing them with your words; it\u2019s unbelievable to watch their countenance change. They may go from the worst day of their life to one of their best. Watching my wife, she\u2019s like an angel!\r\n\r\nAnn: I am not, but it\u2019s kind of just seeing people. I was in the airport\u2014Dave, you weren\u2019t with me; this is just a few weeks ago, where\u2014makes me teary, thinking of this\u2014there was a woman on the [plane], going to baggage. She was noticeably upset. She was probably in her 60s. I asked her, \u201cAre you okay?\u201d She started to cry, and she said, \u201cThis is the first trip that I\u2019ve been on without my husband,\u201d\u2014he just passed away recently\u2014\"I realized I\u2019ve never paid attention in the airport because I\u2019ve always followed my husband, and I don\u2019t even know where I\u2019m going.\u201d I just prayed for her real quick; I said, \u201cThat\u2019s got to be so hard.\u201d I walked her to the car to meet her daughter. \r\n\r\nIf we could just see each other and notice each other when we are going through pain.\r\n\r\nChris: I always heard this, as an athlete\u2014I had athletes say stuff like this\u2014they would say, \u201cPraying moms and praying grandmas keep the world going around,\u201d right? [Laughter] When I hear that, I think that\u2019s so true. I think about my mother and how much of a prayer warrior she was. So keep doing that because we need more of that going around, for sure. \r\n\r\nDave: I know that, as a pastor and preacher for 30 years, one of the things I tried to say often in a sermon, many times a year, was this thought\u2014I got it from another preacher decades ago\u2014when I heard him talk about: \u201cWe often label people with a number.\u201d Even with athletes, we do it: \u201cThat guy\u2019s a 10,\u201d or \u201c\u2026a 5,\u201d or \u201c\u20266.\u201d He said this\u2014I\u2019ll never forget it\u2014he said, \u201cYou have never looked at a person, ever in your life, who God doesn\u2019t say is a 10.\u201d \r\n\r\nEvery person you see is a 10 to God\u2014they are image-bearers; they are made in the image of God\u2014you\u2019ve never once laid your eyes on a person, who doesn\u2019t matter to God. If we remembered that\u2014it\u2019s your core message; isn\u2019t it Chris?\u2014it\u2019s like: \"How do you go from hate to love?\u201d\u2014they are loved by God. If I\u2019m a lover of God, I will love them, whether I agree [with them or not]\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter.\r\n\r\nChris: You have to; yes, you have to. Especially, I feel like, as believers\u2014in my mind\u2014as believers, it\u2019s our duty to love people. That\u2019s what we\u2019re supposed to be doing. If not us, then who? So when I hear that, I just start thinking, \u201cMan, if this person's made in God's image and they think a little bit differently, that's totally okay. It's probably because they were raised a little bit differently or they experienced something differently than I did, but at the end of the day, I'm going to love them regardless. If we start thinking like that, more good will keep happening in the world.\r\n\r\nAnn: Let me just say this to you, Chris: \u201cWell done!\u201d I look over at you, and think, \u201cIf I had been shot and killed at a Bible study, praying\u2014If one of my sons would take on this mantle of, thinking, \u2018I not only have forgiven my mom\u2019s shooter; but now, I want to spread a message of love and unity to the world, and travel around and let people know God loves them; God has made them in His image; and He has a plan for them,\u2019 I would be ecstatic, knowing that one of my sons had done that.\u201d \r\n\r\nYour wife must be so incredibly proud of you. You\u2019re a man of integrity; your maturity is beyond your age at 25 years old. What you\u2019re doing is blessing so many people; you are bringing unity to our country. Thank you for all that you\u2019ve done. Well done!\r\n\r\nChris: Thank you.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, well done.\r\n\r\nChris: Thank you.\r\n\r\nDave: You could be an angry man; and you\u2019re a blessing everywhere you go.\r\n\r\nChris: I appreciate that. \r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s a choice. \r\n\r\nChris: That\u2019s the mission; so thank you.\r\n\r\nShelby: I\u2019m Shelby Abbott and you've been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Chris Singleton on FamilyLife Today. Chris has written a book called Your Life Matters. It's a powerful and uplifting book that inspires black children by connecting them with historical heroes who empower them to embrace their identity and advocate for their dreams. You can get your copy right now by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com or you could click on the link in the show notes. Or feel free to give us a call at 800-358-6329 to request your copy. Again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d \r\n\r\nWe're rapidly approaching Thanksgiving. It's coming up very soon, and we at Family Life wanted to help you and your family practice thankfulness. It's called The Gratitude Project. It's a free download that we've developed for you to help cultivate thankfulness within the context of your family.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nInspired by 1 Thessalonians 5, we want to help you embrace gratitude as a spiritual practice from you and your spouse to your kids as well. In it, you can enjoy three weeks of hands-on activities, a gratitude scavenger hunt, and conversation starters. All you have to do is fill out the short, secure form and you can start fostering gratitude in your home right now before we hit the Thanksgiving holiday. You can get the link to the Gratitude Project in the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, just head to the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com. \r\n\r\nNow, we here in this country have obviously experienced a lot in the last several months, and many of us are just tired of the tension and division that we're experiencing with our family, maybe some of our friends, and certainly on social media. Psalm 133 though, tells us it's good for believers to live in unity with one another; but the question is, how do we do that? How do we do that in today's easily angered and often offended world? It can feel like kind of just wishful thinking. \r\n\r\nWell, I'm excited to invite you to join us here at FamilyLife for a five-week video series with our friend, author, and comedian Amberly Neese. It's called \u201cMoving Toward Each Other in the Middle of a Divisive World,\u201d and in it, we just really want to guide you toward building peace in our own backyards when our differing thoughts and opinions and beliefs threaten to create division. You could sign up for this free five-week video series by going to the show notes and clicking on the link there, or you could head over to FamilyLife.com\/FindingCommonGround. Again, head to the show notes, click on the link there, or you could go to FamilyLife.com\/FindingCommonGround.\r\n\r\nNow coming up tomorrow, Dave and Ann Wilson are joined by blended family expert Ron Deal, who talks about Kim Walker Smith's journey through childhood trauma, blended family struggles, and how persistent love transformed her life and her faith. That's coming up tomorrow. We hope you'll join us. \r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Shelby Abbott. We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife.com                                 \r\n\r\n\n"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-310218.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-310218.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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celebrating each child\u2019s unique image of God help heal racial division? On FamilyLife Today, Dave and Ann Wilson host speaker and baseball pro, Chris Singleton, who discusses his new children\u2019s book, \"Your Life Matters.\"","meta_box":{"show_notes":"\n<ul>\n<li>Purchase Chris' children\u2019s book, \"<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/your-life-matters\/\">Your Life Matters<\/a>.\"<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-11-14.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript\r\n\r\nThis content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nYour Life Matters\r\n\r\nGuest:Chris Singleton\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Your Life Matters (Day 2 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:November 14, 2024\r\n\r\nDave: I do this\u2014I want to know if you do this\u2014when you\u2019re sitting in a mall, or maybe at an airport, or somewhere where there\u2019s a bunch of people walking by, and you\u2019re just sitting there\u2014do you ever find yourself judging people? \r\n\r\nAnn: No, I don\u2019t think I judge them.\r\n\r\nDave: You\u2019re just like perfect; aren\u2019t you?\r\n\r\nAnn: No! I\u2019m saying\/like you know what I do\u2014people walk by\u2014and I create these stories of their lives. \r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m calling it judging. \r\n\r\nAnn: Are you judging them?\r\n\r\nDave: I will make judgements about people that I don\u2019t know based on how they\u2019re walking, what they\u2019re wearing; if I can hear them talking, what they\u2019re talking about. It\u2019s terrible, but I\u2019m finding that I think I judge them. \r\n\r\nAnn: Yes; I think we, as people, do that. We judge one another, not knowing their background or their story. \r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife Today!\r\n\r\nDave: Today, we want to talk a little bit about: \u201cHow do we see the image of God in everyone?\u201d\u2014those who are similar to us, those who are different; some that we might judge, without knowing, in a negative way\u2014\"How do we have the eyes of God to see people the way that God sees them?\u201d They\u2019re imager-bearers of our King, and they should be celebrated rather than judged.\r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve got Chris Singleton back in the studio at FamilyLife Today. Welcome back to FamilyLife Today, Chris. \r\n\r\nChris: Thank you, man. Glad to be back. \r\n\r\nDave: You\u2019re smiling over there because you wrote a book about this. It\u2019s called Different, and it\u2019s written for children. I read it, and I\u2019m telling you right now:\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014it\u2019s really good. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes. \u201cThis may be a children\u2019s book, but every adult needs to read it.\u201d You can tell us what your goal and your purpose was. I\u2019m guessing it sort of relates to what we were just talking about; right?\r\n\r\nChris: Absolutely, man. I would travel around\u2014speaking to schools, high schools, companies, and churches\u2014but I never felt safe talking with little kids. I said, \u201cMan, I\u2019ve got such a sad story,\u201d\u2014I don\u2019t want to take away their innocence; right?\u2014\u201cSo how do I get the same message of loving people across to kids?\u201d\r\n\r\nOne of the biggest things that we forget is that\u2014so many things we don\u2019t choose in our lives\u2014we forget that sometimes. Just thinking about it: we don\u2019t choose our names, most of the time; we\u2019re given our names; we don\u2019t choose where we\u2019re born, who we\u2019re born to. We even think, \u201cWhy do we like a certain type of music?\u201d\u2014maybe because we heard it, growing up? Or maybe, because when we finally heard it for the first time, we experienced a new music, it\u2019s like, \u201cMan, this experience is amazing!\u201d I try to remind people of that. \r\n\r\nBut with kids, I say, \u201cHow do I do that?\u201d; and this children\u2019s book came about. \r\n\r\nDave: Remind our listeners a little bit\u2014you just said you come from a sad story you don\u2019t want to tell the kids\u2014tell us in a minute or two a little bit about: \u201cWhat\u2019s this story?\u201d\r\n\r\nChris: Unfortunately, I lost my mom in the Mother Emmanuel AME Church shooting. On \r\n\r\nJune 17, 2015, she was one of nine victims that lost their life to a guy who wanted to start a race war in this country. Following that, I had this mission of unity: \u201cHow can I unite people? Even though we\u2019re different, even though some of us speak different languages, how can we come together?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s\u2014\u201cRemembering that we serve one God and one King, and we\u2019re all made in the image of Him,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s one thing we can do. \r\n\r\nI said, \u201cHow can I do that with kids?\u201d That\u2019s when this book came about. One of the things I do, with my story to honor my mom, is I put my mom in every single children\u2019s book that I write, some way\/somehow. She was an educator; my mom read books to me, growing up. I didn\u2019t even realize how lucky I was, as a kid, to have my mom reading to me; so many kids don\u2019t have that. That\u2019s why I wrote this book. \r\n\r\nMy favorite page\/I\u2019m going to read my favorite page, if you don\u2019t mind. \r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019d love to hear it. \r\n\r\nAnn: Do you think we should have a little background of what\u2019s happening in the story before you read this page?\r\n\r\nDave: I thought you were going to say, \u201c\u2026background music.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Oh. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nChris: This book is about a kid named Obina, coming from Nigeria. Obina gets to the States; and he gets to Charleston, where I\u2019m from. He gets picked on a little bit because he\u2019s different; right? He\u2019s wearing different clothes; he\u2019s got different hair, so kids are making fun of him. In the end, obviously, they celebrate Obina; they celebrate his differences. \r\n\r\nIn this part, I put my mom in this specific scene; because this is something she said to me. Obina\u2019s sad\u2014people are talking about him\u2014he throws off his Dashiki, his traditional clothing. [Reading] \u201cMrs. Sharonda handed him a tissue, and her eyes were soft, the kind of eyes that seem to know exactly what you\u2019re feeling without you having to say a word. They sat in silence for a long time; then, \u2018Never be ashamed of who you are, Obina,\u2019 Mrs. Sharonda said. \u2018You are beautifully and wonderfully made.\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\nThat\u2019s my favorite part of the whole book. My mom used to pray for us when we were sleeping. She\u2019d come in our room, and she\u2019d pray over us, and let us know that we\u2019re beautifully and wonderfully made\/fearfully and wonderfully made. I wanted to definitely put that in this story to honor my mom and her memory. \r\n\r\nDave: As your mom told you that, as a young little boy, was it something you believed? Or was it something you had to walk through, struggle to believe?\r\n\r\nChris: No, it was good. I think, when your parents are building you up every single day, you\u2019ve got to have a certain level of confidence; right? For me, I\u2019m a dark-skinned kid\u2014so like every kid\u2014we get picked on for something. People would say things about me, being dark-skinned, and stuff like that. It was in one ear and out the other ear; why? Because my mom was telling me I was beautifully and wonderfully made. \r\n\r\nI think it\u2019s beautiful when parents are building their kids up every single day. When a kid goes to school\u2014and they hear something\u2014\u201cAh, it\u2019s funny; but my mom and dad tell me I\u2019m made in the image of God; I\u2019m made in the image of our Lord and Savior. Yes, it\u2019s cool, and it\u2019s a little joke; but I\u2019m fearfully and wonderfully made.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Oh, the whole thing just makes me cry.\r\n\r\nDave: Look at her over here! She\u2019s tearing up!\r\n\r\nAnn: The fact that you put your mom in every one of your books: the foundation that she gave you to tell you every day, and praying for you; reading books to you; talking about Jesus to you. \r\n\r\nAs a mom and a dad I think, often, we wonder, \u201cDo they hear us?\u201d They\u2019re messing around; they\u2019re throwing things around. You wonder, \u201cDo they hear me?\u201d Your life is basically saying, \u201cI heard my mom; not only did I hear her, I watched her. I want to bring honor to her.\u201d \r\n\r\nAs parents, I think that was my greatest fear: \u201cWill they understand that they were made in the image of God?\u2014that He loves them, that He sees them, that He celebrates them?\u201d\r\n\r\nI love your story because it reminds us, as parents, \u201cYes, they hear us.\u201d We might have to say it a million times, but that is the foundation. [Laughter] You\u2019re probably saying that to your boys now. \r\n\r\nChris: I am; I am. My son, C.J., is a kind of kid who would jump off of anything; he doesn\u2019t care if he gets hurt. So I\u2019ve got to wind him down; I\u2019ve got to pull him back. [Laughter] \r\n\r\nEven him, I want to let him know\u2014my wife is from Brazil, and she speaks Portuguese at home with our kids\u2014she wants them to learn her native language. Grandma, you know\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: So you\u2019ve got kids, bi-lingual, already?\r\n\r\nChris: Yes; at first, though, he wasn\u2019t speaking anything. I\u2019m speaking English: \u201cDaddy\/he\u2019s still trying to figure that thing out,\u201d\u2014I\u2019m still trying to figure out Portuguese\u2014it\u2019s a tough language; I\u2019m learning it. My wife\u2019s speaking Portuguese; Grandma\u2019s speaking Portuguese. So my son wouldn\u2019t saying anything. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cMan,\u201d\u2014I\u2019m nervous\u2014\"is his language okay?\u201d But everybody's saying, \u201cHey, he's learning both languages, Chris. That's why he's a little bit delayed.\u201d \r\n\r\nI\u2019m nervous; he goes to daycare, and all the other kids are talking. \u201cMy son\u2019s getting made fun of,\u201d\u2014is what I\u2019m thinking in my head because he can\u2019t say anything yet. And for me to just pour into him and let him know that \u201cHey, you're beautifully and wonderfully made.\u201d The same thing my mom told me; hopefully it stuck with him. Now, he talks way too much in both languages. [Laughter] I\u2019m grateful that he\u2019s able to speak; that\u2019s always a fear that I had. But just instilling it into him\u2014let him know whose image he\u2019s made into\u2014I think that\u2019s very important in every single child\u2019s development. \r\n\r\nDave: How important do you feel like it was for you, when you lost your mom\u2014a terrible way to lose your mother\u2014and you\u2019ve lost your dad as well now\u2014the foundation of understanding your identity. A pro athlete\u2019s identity, often, is connected to what they do, and they don\u2019t know who they are after or when they can\u2019t do that anymore. \r\n\r\nYou lose your mom; you lose your dad\u2014was that foundation of your identity in Christ, and understanding you\u2019re beautifully and wonderfully made; you heard that your whole life from your mom\u2014was that a foundation for you to be able to go forward?\r\n\r\nChris: It definitely was. I\u2019m such a believer in: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to find it for yourself as well\u201d; right? Your parents can lead you to the water your whole life, if you\u2019re not drinking it, then what\u2019s going to happen? For me, my mom was always instilling these things into me. Sometimes, you never know when you\u2019re going to need those things your mom and dad were talking about. When your pastor\u2019s telling you this, from four years ago; and he talked about it in a sports way, so it\u2019s stuck with you\u2014all of a sudden, you go through something, like, \u201cMan, I remember what my pastor said four years ago or so.\u201d\r\n\r\nI think it was definitely important that they instilled it into me, but I had to have that personal relationship myself. That\u2019s when things finally started to click for me\u2014a lot of stuff that wasn\u2019t making sense\u2014it finally started to make more sense for my life. \r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m just thinking about you: you\u2019re traveling a lot; you\u2019re speaking to businessmen\/businesswomen; you\u2019re speaking at schools\u2014high schools, middle schools, elementary schools. Your message is about unity?\u2014would you say that\u2019s the core message?\r\n\r\nChris: That\u2019s the message: \u201cHow we can live together in harmony.\u201d Yes, that\u2019s the message. \r\n\r\nAnn: Do you read your book to elementary school kids?\r\n\r\nChris: I do; absolutely. \r\n\r\nAnn: And what\u2019s the response like? \r\n\r\nChris: It\u2019s a great response. We have fun when I go to elementary schools. I get all the kids jumping up and down and smiling. The coolest thing that I do, though\u2014is at the end of the story, there\u2019s discussion questions\u2014I ask them, \u201cHey, what makes you different? We\u2019re going to celebrate. The whole school is going to celebrate what makes you different right now.\u201d\r\n\r\nYou\u2019ll have kids come up and say, \u201cYou know what, Mr. Singleton? I\u2019ve actually got six fingers.\u201d Instead of everybody laughing at this kid, we all celebrate him for being different; right? This other girl was saying, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve got a lazy eye; it\u2019s tough for me to see out of this one eye.\u201d Instead of laughing at her, we\u2019ll celebrate them because they\u2019re different. \r\n\r\nAnn: So do you guys cheer?\r\n\r\nChris: We do; we do something called a \u201cunity clap.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: I watched this! [Claps twice]\r\n\r\nChris: Yes, we clap twice in unison. If we do it together, it\u2019s more powerful. We\u2019ll have kids saying, \u201cMy mom\u2019s from this place; my dad\u2019s from this place.\u201d Some people say, \u201cI don\u2019t have a dad; that\u2019s what makes me different.\u201d And we\u2019ll celebrate. Instead of that kid feeling, \u201cMan, I\u2019m getting beat up because I\u2019m different,\u201d\u2014whatever it might be\u2014we celebrate it. It is a fantastic time.\r\n\r\nSometimes, I have teachers say, \u201cYou know what makes me different? I\u2019ve got webbed toes. I\u2019ve never told anybody, but today I\u2019m going to tell this school that I\u2019ve got webbed toes!\u201d [Laughter] It is a beautiful thing that we celebrate everybody when we do this in the schools. \r\n\r\nDave: I watched him do it; I don\u2019t know where you were\u2014with a bunch of elementary kids\u2014it looked like hundreds of them. You even got on them when they didn\u2019t unity clap in unison: \u201cLet\u2019s do that again. You can do better.\u201d [Laughter]\r\n\r\nChris: Exactly. \r\n\r\nDave: Help us understand\u2014okay; so when I grow up, and I\u2019m an adult; and I sit in a mall or an airport, and I judge people\u2014people I don\u2019t even know\u2014again, I\u2019m sort of having fun with that; I don\u2019t really think that. But there are times when, because people are different than us\u2014we don\u2019t understand; we don\u2019t know their history; we don\u2019t know their culture\u2014we judge and we build a wall rather than jump through that wall or build a bridge. Help us understand how we celebrate somebody who is different.\r\n\r\nChris: This is a great example of how I teach it. For me, I always say, \u201cShare your story before your stance.\u201d When you share your story, before whatever it is that you stand on, people usually understand why you stand where you do. \r\n\r\nWhen I tell my story of losing my mom the way that I did\u2014she was shot while she was praying, unfortunately\u2014when I tell somebody, \u201cI don\u2019t really like guns too much. I\u2019ll probably never have one myself,\u201d most people say, \u201cYou know what? I understand why Chris doesn\u2019t like them; because his mom was shot and killed while she was praying.\u201d \r\n\r\nOn the flip side, if somebody tells me, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve grown up hunting my whole life. My grandmother and grandfather had a gun, and grandmother had a gun next to them on the bed while they slept. It was normal for us. I\u2019ve gone hunting every single year: quail hunting, pheasant hunting, or deer hunting, or bear hunting,\u201d\u2014I didn\u2019t know that was a thing until just recently. When somebody says, \u201cChris, I love guns,\u201d\u2014after they tell me why or their story\u2014I can understand just as well. \r\n\r\nMost times, when we see somebody who\u2019s different, we hear their stance; and we say, \u201cYou know what? I could never agree with this person.\u201d You probably could agree to disagree if you understood their story. That is how I teach how we can come together and still believe in what we believe in. You don\u2019t have to change your heart. But we have so much division because we don\u2019t know everybody\u2019s story behind their stance. When we do, that\u2019s when we can say, \u201cYou know what? I understand why they think the way they do, even though that\u2019s not what I believe.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: I know, with a Detroit Lions Bible study that I led with their wives, I made a point, as we started doing it longer and longer, to hear each other\u2019s stories; because then you really do understand one another. And not only do we hear each other\u2019s stories\u2014but then, the parts of the story that [they] are wounded and things have happened\u2014when we listen, we start praying, \u201cLord, how can I encourage this person?\u201d After the person has shared their story, we\u2019ll speak life\u2014is what I call it\u2014speak life into the person\u2014 \r\n\r\nChris: I love that. \r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014of like: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry that happened to you,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m so sorry you\u2019ve gone through this. Here\u2019s some things I see in your life of the way you\u2019ve overcome that. It\u2019s miraculous!\u201d Or maybe they\u2019re still in it\u2014just to surround them\u2014and then, at the end, we\u2019ll lay hands on that person and pray for them. It binds us together; our hearts are connected when you hear one another\u2019s stories. \r\n\r\nDave: I can remember sitting in the college locker room, our football locker room. I remember there was a kid on our team from the inner city of Cincinnati. I\u2019m playing at Ball State in Indiana. I loved this guy, but I thought, \u201cWe are so different. We\u2019re nothing alike. He\u2019s a black guy; I\u2019m a white guy. He\u2019s from the inner city; I\u2019m from the suburbs,\u201d\u2014just all these differences. \r\n\r\nI\u2019ll never forget\u2014one day we ended up in the locker room together; most everybody had left\u2014and I\u2019m sitting right beside him. I didn\u2019t even plan to do this, but I say, \u201cHey, dude; tell me about your family. Tell me your story.\u201d As he started to talk about his family, I was sitting there, going, \u201cOh, my goodness; we are almost twins,\u201d in terms of like his dad was an alcoholic, walked out when he was a little boy; mom and dad got divorced; there was abuse. There was different things in his family; I\u2019m like\u2014\r\n\r\nHe looked at me and goes, \u201cSo what\u2019s your story?\u201d I go, \u201cIt\u2019s the same story.\u201d He goes, \u201cNo, it isn\u2019t, dude; what are you talking about? You\u2019re from Ohio;\u201d\u2014and da, da, da\u2014\"you have this family.\u201d I go, \u201cDad walked out when I was seven; he was an alcoholic; there was abuse.\u201d \r\n\r\nIt gave me a love for him, and he for me because we were different, but we weren\u2019t. It was like, \u201cWe\u2019ve got the same story!\u201d I never would have known that if I hadn\u2019t taken the moment to say\u2014just what you said, Chris\u2014\u201cTell me your story.\u201d It was like, \u201cWow! There\u2019s more in common here than there is different.\u201d\r\n\r\nChris: Absolutely.\r\n\r\nDave: God wanted us to build that. Is that part of the way you learn to love somebody you don\u2019t even know?\r\n\r\nChris: I\u2019ve recognized that going through pain and struggle is universal; right? In the Good Book it says, \u201cConsider it pure joy when you face the trials,\u201d\u2014not\u2014\u201cif we face those trials.\u201d We\u2019re all going to face trials. Some people, it happens when they\u2019re 12, like my brother; some people, it happens when they\u2019re 42\u2014it\u2019s just different times\u2014we\u2019re going to face them. The way we come together is getting each other through those times. \r\n\r\nI love that you mentioned that about your college teammate; because so often, we look at somebody, we say, \u201cThis person\u2019s never been through anything: they live there; they have this or they have that.\u201d Struggle and pain is universal\u2014different country, different places; even here in the States\u2014it\u2019s universal. \r\n\r\nI loved what you [Ann] said about us speaking life into people. The reason I love that so much is, when my mom was killed, so many people were praying for us. I know, sometimes, people say, I\u2019m praying for you,\u201d\u2014they may not even pray; they just say that\u2014it\u2019s just a nice thing to say. But I genuinely believe in the power of prayer. If people are actually praying for somebody, I think it does wonders. I believe in prayer so much. Before I even say, \u201cI\u2019m praying for you,\u201d I\u2019ll say, \u201cThe prayer\u2019s already been sent. That\u2019s how much I care about you: the prayer has already been sent.\u201d \r\n\r\nI remember back, when I lost my mom, people were sending us prayer blankets and all these quilts, and saying, \u201cI\u2019m praying for you all the time.\u201d It genuinely gave me strength to know that people were in my corner, praying for me; so thank you for doing that. Hopefully, everybody, listening, is doing that as well.\r\n\r\nAnn: When I was younger, I used to say that to somebody: \u201cHey, I will be praying for you.\u201d As I got older, I thought, \u201cSometimes, I just forget,\u201d\u2014you walk away and you forget to pray\u2014so what I try to do now is pray for somebody right there on the spot.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes. \r\n\r\nAnn: It could take not even a minute; it could take 30 seconds. I did it with an Uber driver, not too long ago, where she shared with me what was going on. I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to be praying for you. Would you mind if I prayed for you right now?\u201d When I was done, she\u2019s crying! There\u2019s power in that; and the fact that somebody would take the time to actually pray words over you of blessing, and even comfort, of saying, \u201cLord, this must be so hard to have gone through. But thank You that You\u2019re there.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: She is telling you the truth. Everywhere we go\u2014could be in an airport, Uber driver, our neighborhood; I am not exaggerating\u2014she prays for people, right there, and speaks life to total strangers! [Laughter] Trust me. There\u2019s times, like, \u201cCan we just go now? Do you really have to walk over to that person?\u201d\r\n\r\nIt's amazing to watch the person\u2014usually, a stranger\u2014their face lights up. You can tell, maybe, nobody\u2019s ever done this; if they have, it\u2019s been years. Just that moment of looking somebody in the eye, listening long enough to know a little bit of their story, praying for them, and then blessing them with your words; it\u2019s unbelievable to watch their countenance change. They may go from the worst day of their life to one of their best. Watching my wife, she\u2019s like an angel!\r\n\r\nAnn: I am not, but it\u2019s kind of just seeing people. I was in the airport\u2014Dave, you weren\u2019t with me; this is just a few weeks ago, where\u2014makes me teary, thinking of this\u2014there was a woman on the [plane], going to baggage. She was noticeably upset. She was probably in her 60s. I asked her, \u201cAre you okay?\u201d She started to cry, and she said, \u201cThis is the first trip that I\u2019ve been on without my husband,\u201d\u2014he just passed away recently\u2014\"I realized I\u2019ve never paid attention in the airport because I\u2019ve always followed my husband, and I don\u2019t even know where I\u2019m going.\u201d I just prayed for her real quick; I said, \u201cThat\u2019s got to be so hard.\u201d I walked her to the car to meet her daughter. \r\n\r\nIf we could just see each other and notice each other when we are going through pain.\r\n\r\nChris: I always heard this, as an athlete\u2014I had athletes say stuff like this\u2014they would say, \u201cPraying moms and praying grandmas keep the world going around,\u201d right? [Laughter] When I hear that, I think that\u2019s so true. I think about my mother and how much of a prayer warrior she was. So keep doing that because we need more of that going around, for sure. \r\n\r\nDave: I know that, as a pastor and preacher for 30 years, one of the things I tried to say often in a sermon, many times a year, was this thought\u2014I got it from another preacher decades ago\u2014when I heard him talk about: \u201cWe often label people with a number.\u201d Even with athletes, we do it: \u201cThat guy\u2019s a 10,\u201d or \u201c\u2026a 5,\u201d or \u201c\u20266.\u201d He said this\u2014I\u2019ll never forget it\u2014he said, \u201cYou have never looked at a person, ever in your life, who God doesn\u2019t say is a 10.\u201d \r\n\r\nEvery person you see is a 10 to God\u2014they are image-bearers; they are made in the image of God\u2014you\u2019ve never once laid your eyes on a person, who doesn\u2019t matter to God. If we remembered that\u2014it\u2019s your core message; isn\u2019t it Chris?\u2014it\u2019s like: \"How do you go from hate to love?\u201d\u2014they are loved by God. If I\u2019m a lover of God, I will love them, whether I agree [with them or not]\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter.\r\n\r\nChris: You have to; yes, you have to. Especially, I feel like, as believers\u2014in my mind\u2014as believers, it\u2019s our duty to love people. That\u2019s what we\u2019re supposed to be doing. If not us, then who? So when I hear that, I just start thinking, \u201cMan, if this person's made in God's image and they think a little bit differently, that's totally okay. It's probably because they were raised a little bit differently or they experienced something differently than I did, but at the end of the day, I'm going to love them regardless. If we start thinking like that, more good will keep happening in the world.\r\n\r\nAnn: Let me just say this to you, Chris: \u201cWell done!\u201d I look over at you, and think, \u201cIf I had been shot and killed at a Bible study, praying\u2014If one of my sons would take on this mantle of, thinking, \u2018I not only have forgiven my mom\u2019s shooter; but now, I want to spread a message of love and unity to the world, and travel around and let people know God loves them; God has made them in His image; and He has a plan for them,\u2019 I would be ecstatic, knowing that one of my sons had done that.\u201d \r\n\r\nYour wife must be so incredibly proud of you. You\u2019re a man of integrity; your maturity is beyond your age at 25 years old. What you\u2019re doing is blessing so many people; you are bringing unity to our country. Thank you for all that you\u2019ve done. Well done!\r\n\r\nChris: Thank you.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, well done.\r\n\r\nChris: Thank you.\r\n\r\nDave: You could be an angry man; and you\u2019re a blessing everywhere you go.\r\n\r\nChris: I appreciate that. \r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s a choice. \r\n\r\nChris: That\u2019s the mission; so thank you.\r\n\r\nShelby: I\u2019m Shelby Abbott and you've been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Chris Singleton on FamilyLife Today. Chris has written a book called Your Life Matters. It's a powerful and uplifting book that inspires black children by connecting them with historical heroes who empower them to embrace their identity and advocate for their dreams. You can get your copy right now by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com or you could click on the link in the show notes. Or feel free to give us a call at 800-358-6329 to request your copy. Again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d \r\n\r\nWe're rapidly approaching Thanksgiving. It's coming up very soon, and we at Family Life wanted to help you and your family practice thankfulness. It's called The Gratitude Project. It's a free download that we've developed for you to help cultivate thankfulness within the context of your family.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nInspired by 1 Thessalonians 5, we want to help you embrace gratitude as a spiritual practice from you and your spouse to your kids as well. In it, you can enjoy three weeks of hands-on activities, a gratitude scavenger hunt, and conversation starters. All you have to do is fill out the short, secure form and you can start fostering gratitude in your home right now before we hit the Thanksgiving holiday. You can get the link to the Gratitude Project in the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, just head to the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com. \r\n\r\nNow, we here in this country have obviously experienced a lot in the last several months, and many of us are just tired of the tension and division that we're experiencing with our family, maybe some of our friends, and certainly on social media. Psalm 133 though, tells us it's good for believers to live in unity with one another; but the question is, how do we do that? How do we do that in today's easily angered and often offended world? It can feel like kind of just wishful thinking. \r\n\r\nWell, I'm excited to invite you to join us here at FamilyLife for a five-week video series with our friend, author, and comedian Amberly Neese. It's called \u201cMoving Toward Each Other in the Middle of a Divisive World,\u201d and in it, we just really want to guide you toward building peace in our own backyards when our differing thoughts and opinions and beliefs threaten to create division. You could sign up for this free five-week video series by going to the show notes and clicking on the link there, or you could head over to FamilyLife.com\/FindingCommonGround. Again, head to the show notes, click on the link there, or you could go to FamilyLife.com\/FindingCommonGround.\r\n\r\nNow coming up tomorrow, Dave and Ann Wilson are joined by blended family expert Ron Deal, who talks about Kim Walker Smith's journey through childhood trauma, blended family struggles, and how persistent love transformed her life and her faith. That's coming up tomorrow. We hope you'll join us. \r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Shelby Abbott. We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife.com                                 \r\n\r\n\n","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/310218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=310218"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=310218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=310218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=310218"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=310218"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=310218"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=310218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}