{"id":310109,"date":"2024-11-13T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-11-13T08:56:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/racial-violence-loss-and-finding-your-way-out-chris-singleton\/"},"modified":"2024-11-19T04:14:31","modified_gmt":"2024-11-19T09:14:31","slug":"racial-violence-loss-and-finding-your-way-out-chris-singleton","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/racial-violence-loss-and-finding-your-way-out-chris-singleton\/","title":{"rendered":"Racial Violence, Loss, and Finding Your Way Out: Chris Singleton"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Speaker and baseball pro, Chris Singleton, speaks about his mother\u2019s death to racial violence\u2014as well as seeking God amidst his gut-wrenching loss.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On FamilyLife Today, Dave and Ann Wilson host speaker and baseball pro, Chris Singleton, who speaks about his mother\u2019s death to racial violence\u2014as well as seeking God amidst his gut-wrenching loss.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/fba68ef9-59c9-4720-9efa-b21201129f7e\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:07","filesize":"25.78M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2847],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[8565],"cwp_profile":[9802],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-310109","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-death-and-dying","podcast_series-chris-singleton-your-life-matters","cwp_profile-chris-singleton","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/310109\/racial-violence-loss-and-finding-your-way-out-chris-singleton","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/310109\/racial-violence-loss-and-finding-your-way-out-chris-singleton","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"bmvpVhgFXI\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/racial-violence-loss-and-finding-your-way-out-chris-singleton\/\">Racial Violence, Loss, and Finding Your Way Out: Chris Singleton<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/racial-violence-loss-and-finding-your-way-out-chris-singleton\/embed\/#?secret=bmvpVhgFXI\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Racial Violence, Loss, and Finding Your Way Out: Chris Singleton&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"bmvpVhgFXI\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["fba68ef9-59c9-4720-9efa-b21201129f7e"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/fba68ef9-59c9-4720-9efa-b21201129f7e\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:28:07"],"filesize":["25.78M"],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"show_notes":["\n<ul>\n<li>Purchase Chris' children\u2019s book, \"<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/your-life-matters\/\">Your Life Matters<\/a>.\"<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-11-13.pdf"],"transcript_content":["\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript\r\n\r\nThis content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nRacial Violence, Loss, and Finding Your Way Out\r\n\r\nGuest:Chris Singleton\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Your Life Matters (Day 1 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:November 13, 2024\r\n\r\nDave: There was an event that took place in 2015 in Charleston, South Carolina, that I don\u2019t think anyone will ever forget.\r\n\r\nAnn: I remember that, too; devastating.\r\n\r\nNews Report: Nine people killed by a young man, 21 years old.\r\n\r\nNews Report 2: That a white male, in his early 20s, walked into the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church and began shooting.\r\n\r\nNews Report 3: Mr. Roof is charged with nine counts of murder and one count of possession of a weapon during the commission of the crime.\r\n\r\nWoman: [Crying] It hurts me; it hurt a lot of people.\r\n\r\nNews Report 4: Roof showed no emotion as relatives of the victims addressed him over a video link.\r\n\r\nWoman 2: Every fiber in my body hurts. I will never talk to her, ever again; I will never be able to hold her again.\r\n\r\nAnn: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\r\n\r\nDave: And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on the FamilyLife\u00ae app.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nThat was a day our country was rocked. I remember it because it had an effect on me; it had an effect on people that were there.\r\n\r\nDave: And we have a gentleman in the studio today, who was personally affected. Chris Singleton is with us today, who travels the country as an inspirational speaker, former professional baseball player. \r\n\r\nSo Chris, I\u2019ve heard you speak. You\u2019re a YouTube phenomenon; did you know that?\r\n\r\nChris: Why, I didn\u2019t know that, man; I didn\u2019t. But I appreciate that for sure, man\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019ve watched you in front of little kids, and high schoolers, and even businessmen and women, and one of the things I\u2019ll never forget\u2014I\u2019d love to hear you talk about this\u2014is what you call your five numbers: 1, 70, 50, 9 and 1. Did you see that?\u2014I didn\u2019t even have to look at my notes. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nChris: That was good.\r\n\r\nAnn: I was pretty impressed by that.\r\n\r\nChris: That was really good, man; that was.\r\n\r\nDave: When I first heard you say those numbers, I thought, \u201cYou\u2019re a baseball guy; you\u2019re talking about your average.\u201d You said \u201c170\u201d; I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, 170? Is that what he hit?\u201d\r\n\r\nChris: No.\r\n\r\nDave: And then you walked through those numbers, and it\u2019s really life changing. So help our listeners understand: \u201cWhat do those numbers mean?\u201d\r\n\r\nChris: I call it my struggle moment, man. Those numbers, to me, they keep me going every single day. There was 1\u20141 person who was misinformed and misled to hate people that look like me; and unfortunately, this 1 person walked into my church, Mother Emanual AME, and fired over 70 bullets. During Bible study that night, over 50 of those bullets entered bodies. He took 9 lives, and 1 of those lives happened to be my hero, my mom.\r\n\r\nThose numbers to me\u2014when it gets tough, being on the road; when it gets tough, being away from my family\u2014those numbers lock me back in, and they keep me going to keep spreading the good word.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, so can you take us back? You get a phone call; you\u2019re what?\u201418 years old?\u201417?\r\n\r\nChris: Yes; 18 years old, just finished my freshman year of college. I had a pretty good freshman year, playing at this mid-major school.\r\n\r\nDave: Pretty good; I mean, you even beat Clemson.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes, we did.\r\n\r\nDave: Isn\u2019t that the first time in school history?\r\n\r\nChris: First time in school history to beat Clemson, man. I was\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: Did you do anything in that game?\r\n\r\nChris: I did; I had a great game, man.\r\n\r\nDave: I already know this. [Laughter] I\u2019m trying to let you tell everybody how great you are.\r\n\r\nChris: Thank you for telling me\u2014I owe you\u2014I like that, man. We beat Clemson\u2014four hits, a diving catch\u2014and the coolest thing for me\u2014my mom was such a baseball mom; she was a teacher at my high school\u2014she was on the intercom the next day: \u201cDid y\u2019all see my baby last night? He had such a good game.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Really?\r\n\r\nChris: Phenomenal freshman season.\r\n\r\nBut I call it \u201cthe unthinkable\u201d is what happened to me and my family\u2014because we see stuff like that on TV, and in the newspapers, or on our phone, we\u2019re scrolling; but we never think it will happen to us\u2014that\u2019s what that night, June 17, 2015, was for me. I get a phone call: \u201cCome down to our church, because something bad happened.\u201d Ultimately, I get down there; and I realize that it wasn\u2019t just something bad\u2014but it was the unimaginable\u2014that my mother and eight other people were shot and killed.\r\n\r\nAnn: So Chris, you have two younger siblings.\r\n\r\nChris: I do; I do.\r\n\r\nAnn: Do they go to the church with you?\u2014or the hospital?\r\n\r\nChris: I went straight to my church\u2014this is fresh\u2014and somebody said, \u201cChris, get down here\u201d; so I went down to my church. They put us in this hotel\u2014is what they had us in\u2014at this time, you see all the social media stuff coming to your phone. Everybody\u2019s calling you, but nobody is telling you anything. You just know something bad has happened. \r\n\r\nI didn\u2019t tell my brother and sister to come down there because I had no idea of the severity of it. Ultimately, though, that night, I had to tell them that Mom was gone. It wasn\u2019t just me\u2014I had my high school sweetheart, my wife now, who was there with me to help me break that news to them\u2014it was really, really rough for us in that moment.\r\n\r\nDave: If I remember right, you got a call from your mom\u2019s phone.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: So you almost think it\u2019s her.\r\n\r\nChris: Exactly.\r\n\r\nDave: But it\u2019s not, so you have no idea. You get down there. When they say your mom was gone\u2014because not everybody was killed; nine were killed, and she\u2019s one of them\u2014do you remember thinking, \u201cWhat do I do?\u201d What was your first thought?\r\n\r\nAnn: Were you angry?\u2014were you sad? Walk us through your emotions.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes; first of all, when I got down there, I was just extremely anxious. I didn\u2019t know what was going to happen. We\u2019re in a hotel room, but it\u2019s actually like a conference room in the hotel. Everybody in there is screaming, and all this stuff is happening there; police in and out.\r\n\r\nAnn: Give us the details of what happened. Someone walked in\u2014\r\n\r\nChris: Yes; this guy walked in with eight magazines of bullets, with hate in his heart\u2014his mission of starting a race war\u2014and he fired all those bullets in my church because of the color of their skin. That\u2019s what happened; but that night, I didn\u2019t know why it happened or what was going on. I just knew that my mom went to Bible study; and later on that night, there was a coroner there.\r\n\r\nI always mention that I hope people are privileged enough to not know who the coroner is\u2014because I was 18, and I didn\u2019t know who she was\u2014but she said to me, \u201cChris, can you describe your mom?\u201d\u2014is what she asked me to do. Ultimately, I thought, \u201cWell, is she asking me to describe this because my mom is hurt so bad?\u2014or is she asking me this because she\u2019s trying to confirm that my mom\u2019s okay?\u201d \r\n\r\nI described my mom; and finally, she said, \u201cChris, it\u2019s confirmed your mother\u2019s been taken away.\u201d So when I heard that, it\u2019s like you go numb. Telling my brother and sister is probably one of the toughest things I\u2019ve ever had to do in my life.\r\n\r\nAnn: How old were they at the time?\r\n\r\nChris: Little brother: 12; little sister: 15\u2014so middle school, high school\u2014telling them that our hero, our mom, was no longer with us.\r\n\r\nAnn: And your dad?\r\n\r\nChris: Dad wasn\u2019t there that night; he wasn\u2019t doing too well. I called him, and I called other people. I actually called my high school basketball coach. That\u2019s why I got such a great relationship with him, because we think\u2014sometimes, as educators, you just think you\u2019re doing what you\u2019re doing; maybe you\u2019re making an impact\u2014but when my dad didn\u2019t answer\u2014 my friends were calling me, and this and that\u2014and a third [call I made], I called my coach. \r\n\r\nSo for me, that night was rough; it was really rough. There was no sleep that night. My little brother, who was 12\u2014I actually slept in the bed next to him\u2014and he\u2019s crying himself to sleep. For a period there, I didn\u2019t give myself any time. I just started thinking, \u201cWhat do I have to do for them?\u201d We always hear: \u201cChris, be strong,\u201d \u201cStay strong\u201d; and so I thought being strong meant never crying. I thought being strong meant never showing any emotion. So there was a small period of time, where I thought strength was being a robot. Life has a funny way of letting you realize that\u2019s not strength; that\u2019s just being fake. \r\n\r\nI\u2019m grateful that God gave me the wisdom to be a real man, and show emotion\u2014and finally come back down to earth\u2014and figure out that: \u201cHey, we\u2019re all human; we all go through things,\u201d and showing emotion doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re weak; it just means you\u2019re a human being.\r\n\r\nDave: You had to keep it together. In some ways, were you the dad to your siblings? \r\n\r\nChris: I always say I was like a father figure; but I realized, really quickly, that being a father figure wouldn\u2019t work for them\u2014because I\u2019m saying: \u201cHey, make sure you do this,\u201d \u201c\u2026do that,\u201d \u201c\u2026straight A\u2019s,\u201d \u201c\u2026this, that, and the third,\u201d\u2014and it\u2019s like, \u201cChris, if you don\u2019t get out of my face, man,\u2026\u201d [Laughter]\r\n\r\nSo I realized I just have to be big brother\u2014because father figure wasn\u2019t going to cut it\u2014but definitely taking care of them. I always told them, \u201cHey, we want to make Mom proud; we can\u2019t let Mom down. Let\u2019s just do what she wants us to do, whether she\u2019s here on earth or not. We know that she\u2019s rejoicing and in a better place.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Did you know the other victims that were killed that night? Did you know any of them?\r\n\r\nChris: Absolutely; Mother Emanuel, you know, we\u2019re a small church\u2014I always joke that the average age at Mother Emanuel had to be like 65\u2014it was an old church; right? [Laughter] So the young families, we stuck together. Everybody\u2019s like a grandma\/grandpa, or auntie\/uncle; so when you did well at your game, everybody in the church knew. When you got a scholarship to play in college, everybody in the church knew; they celebrated you.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014like a family.\r\n\r\nChris: Oh, man, for sure; it was a family. I knew everybody that lost their life that night, for sure.\r\n\r\nAnn: Oh, so I\u2019m just wondering: \u201cHere you are, this young man. This person walks in to start a race war. How are you not enraged? Did you get to the point, where you\u2019re sad\u2014you said you were in shock\u2014did you get angry?\u201d\r\n\r\nChris: Sometimes, people ask me, \u201cChris, would you change a thing?\u201d Well, absolutely I would; I want my mom here with me. But I know, for a fact, that God put forgiveness in my heart; because there\u2019s no way in the world that I could have said that I forgave my mother\u2019s killer. \r\n\r\nThe way that I describe it is, when I forgave my mother\u2019s killer, a reporter kind of rushed me and said, \u201cHey, Chris. How do you feel about it?\u201d I remember she was from the BBC; she said, \u201cHow do you feel about all these things happening? What do you think about the killer?\u201d I said, \u201cI already forgive him. Our family already forgives him.\u201d My sister looks over at me, like, \u201cWe what?\u201d; right? \r\n\r\nFor me, I described it as being on autopilot. You know, you\u2019re driving home sometimes\u2014and you don\u2019t even know if you turn left or right\u2014but you just get into your driveway. You\u2019re like, \u201cMan, I don\u2019t know what stoplight I was at; I don\u2019t know what stop sign; I was on autopilot.\u201d That\u2019s what it was for me when I forgave my mother\u2019s killer, and I know why now. I know why\u2014because forgiveness wasn\u2019t just for me that day\u2014it was for so many people, who were like, \u201cMan, if this guy and these families can forgive, how can I not?\u201d I\u2019ve just seen so much good come from it. \r\n\r\nI was upset then that my mom was no longer here; I\u2019m still upset that my mom won\u2019t see her grandsons play T-ball; I\u2019ll forever be upset. But I think, \u201cangry\u201d and \u201chaving anger\u201d\u2014no, I don\u2019t feel that in my heart right now; I haven\u2019t ever.\r\n\r\nDave: Do you remember a process of walking through, like you said, the anger to the forgiveness? Was it instantaneous, or did it take a while? What was that like?\r\n\r\nChris: No, man. I think, when I first lost my mom, we didn\u2019t know that she was killed because of the color of her skin. We just knew that a guy walked in and did that; right? It was just a mass shooting. We didn\u2019t know why the mass shooting happened. I was just devastated that my mom was gone\u2014I thought it was just a mass shooting that happened\u2014I didn\u2019t know the reasoning behind it or nothing like that.\r\n\r\nI immediately looked at my brother and sister, and said, \u201cMan, our mom is who feeds us. What are we about to do?\u201d I had no idea\u2014I didn\u2019t know anything about car insurance; didn\u2019t know anything about health care\u2014I didn\u2019t know anything. I was blessed to have a mom that took care of all that stuff, and so I didn\u2019t know. Immediately, I\u2019m trying to figure out: \u201cHow are we eating on Tuesday night?\u201d \u201cWho\u2019s driving to school for the next five years?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s going to happen?\u201d So that\u2019s what the process was for me, initially. \r\n\r\nNow, when things died down\u2014the media went away and all that stuff happened\u2014then I was able to sit down and think, \u201cMan, my mom was really killed because she\u2019s black; that\u2019s a terrible way for somebody to go.\u201d I\u2019m so grateful that, in that time, I think God was molding me; because me, personally\u2014man, if it was just up to me, I would have been like, \u201cHey, this happened; I want to play my sport, and that\u2019s it,\u201d\u2014but God had other plans for me. I didn\u2019t see that at the time, but I see that now. \r\n\r\nThe process for me of forgiveness is simple\u2014I think you have to say it out loud; right?\u2014\u201cI forgive Dylann Roof. I forgive him for taking my mother\u2019s life.\u201d And I think there\u2019s got to be something on the other side of that forgiveness. As a believer, there\u2019s something on the other side of salvation for us: when we die, we know there\u2019s eternal life. \r\n\r\nSo for me, on the other side of forgiveness, I think, \u201cMan, now I don\u2019t have to think every single young white male is racist,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s on the other side of forgiveness for me. On the other side is: \u201cNow, I don\u2019t have to be nervous when I walk into a room; and I can have the door behind me and not be scared,\u201d on the other side of forgiveness. So there has to be something on the other side of it, when you talk about the process of it. \r\n\r\nBut initially, man, God put it on my heart. I\u2019d be giving myself way too much credit, saying, \u201cI did this and that in processing it.\u201d No; God put it on my heart: \u201cThat happened; and now, I know why.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m listening to you, thinking, \u201cMan, this faith!\u201d You\u2019re 18 years old; and yet, you have this foundational faith. How did that come about?\r\n\r\nChris: Yes, I was raised in the church; but being raised in a church doesn\u2019t mean anything.\r\n\r\nAnn: Right.\r\n\r\nChris: It just means you have\u2014you don\u2019t have a choice\u2014that\u2019s what that means; right? [Laughter] So I went to church, like any other kid would; but I say there\u2019s a crossroads, when you go through something really tough, especially when your mom is murdered while she\u2019s praying\/praying in church.\r\n\r\nAnn: She was praying.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes, in Bible study. \r\n\r\nYou can say, \u201cHey, my mom was murdered in church; there\u2019s no way God is real,\u201d\u2014you could say that\u2014or you could say, \u201cGod, I don\u2019t know how in the world this happened or why it happened; but I know only You can get me through it.\u201d I went with the latter; and because I\u2019ve gone with the latter, that\u2019s where my faith has been strengthened, ten-fold. \r\n\r\nI\u2019m super practical about things; because if your mom is murdered, while she\u2019s praying, you could say, \u201cMan, Chris, how could she be killed if she\u2019s praying to the God that you serve?\u201d I said, \u201cGod, I don\u2019t know how; I don\u2019t know why, but I know only You can get me through this mess.\u201d God has come through, time and time after again, so I think my faith has definitely strengthened after it. I used to read my mother\u2019s Bible; she used to read it from cover to cover. She was one of those types of people\u2014every year, read cover to cover\u2014she would highlight things. \r\n\r\nFor me, finally reading the Bible by myself, not just trusting my pastor to do it or my mom to do it\u2014me reading myself\u2014I read her Bibles. Reading those Scriptures, that\u2019s when I found my faith, not just relying on my mom or my pastor; but I found a relationship for myself.\r\n\r\nDave: Was there ever a moment, where you struggled with the: \u201cHow in the world does my mom, or anybody, go to a church, sit in a Bible study, pray, and lose their life?\u201d Did you ever struggle with: \u201cGod, what are You doing?\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014or did your siblings?\r\n\r\nChris: I never struggled with the how, because I think there\u2019s, obviously, good in the world\u2014but there\u2019s some real bad in the world, unfortunately; right?\u2014there are some people, who want to do evil things; I realize that. We have the gift of free will; so some people are going to use it, and it\u2019s going to be cursed. I never struggled with the how, but I always struggled with the why, like, \u201cWhy did my mom have to go?\u201d\u2014the person who loved everybody. She was a track coach\u2014would take you home from school after practice, and say, \u201cHey, did you get a meal?\u201d If not: \u201cLet\u2019s go to Wendy\u2019s\u00ae,\u201d or \u201c\u2026Hardee\u2019s\u00ae\u2014or something\u2014\"real quick.\u201d I struggle with the: \u201cWhy?\u201d \u201cWhy my mom?\u201d \r\n\r\nAs far as my faith, I\u2019m so grateful that I didn\u2019t go the other way\u2014but my brother had a point in time, where he said, \u201cChris, you know, man, I see you\u2019re real strong in your faith, man. But come on, now; come on, now; Mom was praying, and that\u2019s the same God that you\u2019re praying to?\u201d\u2014so he really struggled with that for a while. \r\n\r\nI struggled with it, being big brother; I said, \u201cMan, if my brother gets in a car accident, I don\u2019t know where he\u2019s going right now,\u201d\u2014you know what I\u2019m saying? I really struggled with that; but there was a guy, who was a chaplain for the Patriots. He said, \u201cChris, don\u2019t push him right now. You push him right now; he\u2019s never coming back.\u201d But he definitely had that struggle with: \u201cMan, Chris, I understand your faith has been strengthened because of it; but Mom was praying, and she got killed; so it\u2019s tough for me to believe.\u201d He definitely had that.\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m interested like, when you called your basketball coach, what did he say to you?\r\n\r\nChris: This is a guy, who has been there through everything for me. I always say this: \u201cHe\u2019s actually the first white person I ever heard say, \u2018I love you,\u2019 to me; and he truly meant it too.\u201d He poured into us, and we still have that relationship to this day. Talking to him was all about encouragement. Sometimes, it\u2019s not about what you say; but it\u2019s about being able to pick up the phone and just hear somebody\u2019s voice. \r\n\r\nEven today, I\u2019ll text him every now and then, and just say, \u201cHey, thank you for all you\u2019ve done for me in my life.\u201d He\u2019s always like, \u201cMan, I love you, Chris.\u201d We still have that relationship. Being present sometimes is more important than figuring out the right words to say. Some people ask me, \u201cWhat should I say to this person?\u201d Sometimes, the words aren\u2019t going to cut it; but just being there lets them know that you care about them.\r\n\r\nDave: You were still in college at the time; right?\r\n\r\nChris: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: So help us understand: you\u2019re actually going back to school and playing baseball.\r\n\r\nAnn: I know, Dave; I\u2019m still worried about: \u201cHow did your brother and sister get to school?\u201d and \u201cHow did they get fed?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Yes; did your dad\u2014was he just AWOL?\u2014he just wasn\u2019t part of the\u2014\r\n\r\nChris: He struggled, man. I would say, in my mind, my dad struggled with alcohol pretty bad; so in my mind, I said, \u201cMan, this is going to get my dad back on track. Losing my mom, he\u2019s got no choice but to step up to the plate.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019d be a wake-up call; yes.\r\n\r\nChris: It\u2019d be a wake-up call is what I was thinking; but no, it was too much for him. He was really sick. My aunt\/she actually stepped up to the plate, and they moved in with my aunt for a year. It was rough for them; they didn\u2019t want to be in Atlanta. They wanted to be in Charleston, where we\u2019re from. So for about a year\/year and a half, they lived there until I got drafted by the Cubs. \r\n\r\nMy whole college career after that was: \u201cHey, I\u2019m going to make my mom proud.\u201d She was always the baseball mom; \u201cI\u2019m going to get drafted for my mom.\u201d I always have this hashtag; it says, \u201cCan\u2019t let moms down.\u201d Every post that I make says, \u201cCan\u2019t let moms down.\u201d That was my goal, being an athlete in college. All I wanted to do was just play sports. \r\n\r\nI would get all the interviews: \u201cHey, Chris, do you want to do this?\u201d \u201c\u2026do that?\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll do it, but baseball is my thing; that\u2019s what I do.\u201d That\u2019s how life was for a couple years after I lost my mom.\r\n\r\nDave: So tell us about\u2014you get drafted\u2014you\u2019re playing baseball; you\u2019re married.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes, married.\r\n\r\nDave: Do you have any kids at home, at that time, when you were in the minor leagues?\r\n\r\nChris: I did. Yes, I had my little man: C.J.\/Chris, Jr. \r\n\r\nDave: So he\u2019s at home; you\u2019re on the road, trying to make it to the bigs.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: You\u2019re not playing baseball now.\r\n\r\nChris: No.\r\n\r\nDave: Walk us through the end of that. \r\n\r\nChris: I always say, \u201cAnybody who is married to an athlete, they have to be superwoman; because your [husband\u2019s] gone a lot.\u201d I was gone seven months out of the year; and at home, was not just our son, it\u2019s my little brother and my little sister.\r\n\r\nAnn: They lived with you.\r\n\r\nChris: They lived with me. Yes, they lived with us; so my wife is literally like superwoman.\r\n\r\nDave: Your wife is superwoman. \r\n\r\nChris: Oh, she is; she is.\r\n\r\nDave: You have your brother and sister living with your wife, and you\u2019re gone.\r\n\r\nAnn: As soon as you got married, did they come to live with you?\r\n\r\nChris: Yes; we\u2019re 21\u2014we might be 20; we might be 20 at the time\u2014and they\u2019re teenagers. We\u2019re like\u2014it\u2019s hard\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but we got through it; let\u2019s just say that.\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m guessing you got a phone call or two from your wife.\r\n\r\nChris: Oh, my goodness; yes. I got the phone calls: \u201cHey, Chris, this happened,\u201d \u201c\u2026that happened.\u201d I\u2019m always trying to be man in the middle: \u201cHey, let\u2019s just love everybody; okay?\u201d [Laughter] So I got those; but I\u2019m chasing my dream, playing baseball. I played a couple of seasons. I loved the Cubs, man; I got drafted by the Cubs. \r\n\r\nThe first time I remember going to a therapist was when I was playing in the minor leagues, because I struggled with my sport. Everyone was like, \u201cOh, Chris; you\u2019re letting your sport get you down, man. You\u2019ve been through so much\u2014you\u2019ve been through all this\u2014and you\u2019re letting baseball hurt you?\u201d \r\n\r\nI was saying, \u201cMan, baseball\u2019s been the one thing that I could have an escape from all the stuff I was going through.\u201d When I wasn\u2019t having the success, it was tough for me, man, mentally. I started seeing a therapist\u2014it was free therapy\u2014which was super eye-opening for me. I went for about a year; and then, I ultimately, in 2019, I got released by the Cubs. \r\n\r\nI knew exactly what I wanted to do. I'd been speaking in the off-season. I got married on TV; I got married on Lifetime. So people saw me there. \r\n\r\nAnn: Wait, wait, wait. How\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: You got married on Lifetime.\r\n\r\nChris:Somebody DM\u2019d me on social media: \u201cHey Chris, we saw your story on ESPN. We think you deserve a free wedding.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay, do you want me to give you my credit card number?\u2014that's what you want?\u2014or something? Free wedding?\u201d And they said, \u201cNo, we got this show. We think you deserve it.\u201d And sure enough, Lifetime calls me: \u201cHey, Chris, we want you on this show. And so we got married on live TV\/live TV.\r\n\r\nAnn: And they paid for everything?\r\n\r\nChris:Paid for everything.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014wedding dress? \r\n\r\nDave: That's the best part: it's free!\r\n\r\nChris: \u2014wedding dress. \r\n\r\nDave: What?!\r\n\r\nChris: The guy\u2019s name is David Tutera [who put on the wedding]. No, I bought the ring.\r\n\r\nDave:Okay.\r\n\r\nChris: I bought the ring. \r\n\r\nDave: I'm glad you bought the ring. You got to show some commitment. \r\n\r\nChris: Come on; you got to have some skin in the game, right. \r\n\r\nDave: It doesn't count if you give her a free ring. \r\n\r\nChris: But the guy, David Tutera, actually, created a dress for my wife. She said, \u201cHey, I want my dress to look like this\u201d; and he created a dress for her called the Mariana, which is my wife's name. Free wedding.\r\n\r\nDave: She's got her own dress named after her.\r\n\r\nAnn: Whoa! \r\n\r\nChris:Yes; it's phenomenal.\r\n\r\nDave:You know, honey, I just want to say, \u201cI'm so sorry; our wedding was nothing like that.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn:It wasn't your fault.\r\n\r\nDave:We had paper Pepsi Cola cups at our reception. Anyway\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: So your wedding is paid for. You get married, you guys are 20 years old.\r\n\r\nChris:Yeah; we're 20 years old.\r\n\r\nDave:Well, and here's the thing, being around pro sports over three decades, one of the hardest things is for an athlete to end the career when the career ends, whether it's by injury or personal choice, or you just don't get resigned. So you had that moment, where they're looking at you saying, \u201cI don't see a future.\u201d Did you struggle? Did you want to keep going? Did you walk away? What was that?\r\n\r\nChris:I walked away, man. I think for me, what I see with a lot of athletes is they don't know who they are. They just know what sport they play. \r\n\r\nDave: Exactly. \r\n\r\nChris: So you meet somebody\u2014\u201dHey, I'm Chris; I'm a baseball player,\u201d\u2014and that's all they know that they are. And so when your sport's over, you have an identity crisis.\r\n\r\nFor me, I had a mission; I would sign every single signature: \u201cChris Singleton, Love is greater than hate.\u201d People would ask me, \u201cWhat does that mean, man?\u201d I\u2019d tell them about my story. I got this mission of unity now. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was speaking in the off-season; I was getting opportunities. When I got released, I immediately made a social media post: \u201cHey, I\u2019m done playing ball; but I\u2019m going to continue this mission of teaching love, teaching how we can come together in practical ways.\u201d So that\u2019s what I started to do, and God has blessed it ever since.\r\n\r\nDave: So you\u2019ve been doing\u2014you said earlier\u2014150 or so engagements a year.\r\n\r\nChris: Tone that down\u2014about 100\u2014to be honest with you, coming up pretty soon. My wife and I actually sit down every year\u2014we talk about how many days I can be gone\u2014we\u2019ll go on a couple\u2019s trip in December. We\u2019ll say, \u201cBaby, how many days are you thinking this year?\u201d \r\n\r\nI want to make sure that I don\u2019t become a public success and private failure. One of my favorite mentors, Inky Johnson, said that; and that stuck with me. I never want to become a person, where I\u2019m speaking on a stage one day, and somebody asks my wife\u2014they say\u2014\u201cOh, man, Chris is a great guy.\u201d And my biggest fear is that she says, \u201cWell, no he\u2019s not. Maybe he\u2019s a good guy to you, but he\u2019s not a good guy to us.\u201d That\u2019s a fear that I have\u2014I have nightmares about that\u2014so I will never let that happen.\r\n\r\nDave:Yeah, I always say when a guy says to me\u2014and this happened hundreds of times\u2014and his wife's standing right beside him, and he says something like this: \u201cGod's number one in my life, my wife and my family's number two, and my job is number three,\u201d I never look at the guy; I always look at his wife. \r\n\r\nChris: Yeah, that's true. \r\n\r\nDave: When he's saying that, her face\/her countenance will tell you: \u201cThis is true?\u201d\u2014she'll be smiling, and \u201cYeah\u201d; or she'll be looking off, or even maybe rolling her eyes, \u201cYeah, he's saying that, but it's not real.\u201d So you're saying it's really your wife who determines if your marriage is good.\r\n\r\nChris:Absolutely, man. And everybody says the cliche answer: \u201cHey, why do you do what you do?\u201d \u201cOh, my family\u2026\u201d\u2014everybody says that, right? But being gone 150 days a year, I'm not with my family a lot.\r\n\r\nDave:Right.\r\n\r\nChris:And so for me, I always say, \u201cHey, baby, this is the mission.\u201d And if she didn't see fruit from that mission, she'd be like, \u201cUh-uh; you staying home.\u201d But I take screenshots of every DM that I get from somebody saying: \u201cChris, what you did today changed my heart,\u201d \u201cWhat you did today makes me think I can keep going.\u201d I'll save all those; so she knows, \u201cHey, he's not out there, twiddling his thumbs. He's trying to do the good work.\u201d She believes in my message and my mission, so it\u2019s been good.\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nAnn: Well, I was going to say: you can't do it without her either. Like you guys are a great team; you're in a team ministry. I love that you're sending those to her, because you're saying, \u201cLook what we are doing for the kingdom and for unity in the body.\u201d\r\n\r\nChris:Absolutely; I love it.\r\n\r\nShelby: I'm Shelby Abbott; and you've been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson, with Chris Singleton, on FamilyLife Today. Chris has written a book called Your Life Matters. It's a powerful and really uplifting book that inspires black children by connecting them with historical heroes, who empower them to embrace their identity and advocate for their dreams. You can get your copy right now by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com; or you could click on the link in the show notes. Or feel free to give us a call at 800-358-6329 to request your copy. Again, that number is 800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word, TODAY. \r\n\r\nWe're approaching Thanksgiving; it's coming up very soon. I know you probably already purchased everything that you need to; or you haven't, and you're panicking right now. But what I wanted to mention to you is that we, at FamilyLife, really are intentional about wanting to foster thankfulness in and amongst families. And so we've developed a free download called \u201cThe Gratitude Project\u201d; it's inspired by 1 Thessalonians 5 so that we can embrace gratitude as a spiritual practice. It's really just three weeks of family-friendly activities: things like a gratitude scavenger hunt and conversation starters. All you have to do is head over to the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com; click on the link there, and you could download a free copy of \u201cThe Gratitude Project.\u201d\r\n\r\nHere in our country, over the last several months, we've been through a lot\/just a whole lot. Many of us are just kind of tired of the tension and division that we're experiencing\u2014with our family; maybe some of our friends; and certainly, on social media\u2014which is why I'm excited to invite you to join us, here at FamilyLife, for a five-week video series from our friend\u2014author and comedian\u2014Amberly Neese. It's called \u201cMoving Toward Each Other in the Middle of a Divisive World.\u201d In it, we just really want to guide you toward building peace with people who have different opinions than you do; and maybe, their beliefs kind of threaten to create division; or your beliefs threaten to create division. We want to help with that. So you could sign up, right now, for the five-week video series by going to the show notes and clicking on the link there. Or just head over to FamilyLife.com\/FindingCommonGround; that's FamilyLife.com\/FindingCommonGround.\r\n\r\nNow, coming up tomorrow: \u201cCould celebrating each child's unique image of God help heal racial division?\u201d Well, Chris Singleton is back with the Wilsons to talk about just that; we hope you'll join us. Audio clips, at the beginning of today's episode, came from Charleston County Government and Voice of America. On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Shelby Abbott. We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. 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FamilyLife Today, Dave and Ann Wilson host speaker and baseball pro, Chris Singleton, who speaks about his mother\u2019s death to racial violence\u2014as well as seeking God amidst his gut-wrenching loss.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"\n<ul>\n<li>Purchase Chris' children\u2019s book, \"<a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/your-life-matters\/\">Your Life Matters<\/a>.\"<\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/flministries\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-11-13.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae with Dave and Ann Wilson - Web Version Transcript\r\n\r\nThis content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.\r\n\r\nRacial Violence, Loss, and Finding Your Way Out\r\n\r\nGuest:Chris Singleton\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Your Life Matters (Day 1 of 2)\r\n\r\nAir date:November 13, 2024\r\n\r\nDave: There was an event that took place in 2015 in Charleston, South Carolina, that I don\u2019t think anyone will ever forget.\r\n\r\nAnn: I remember that, too; devastating.\r\n\r\nNews Report: Nine people killed by a young man, 21 years old.\r\n\r\nNews Report 2: That a white male, in his early 20s, walked into the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church and began shooting.\r\n\r\nNews Report 3: Mr. Roof is charged with nine counts of murder and one count of possession of a weapon during the commission of the crime.\r\n\r\nWoman: [Crying] It hurts me; it hurt a lot of people.\r\n\r\nNews Report 4: Roof showed no emotion as relatives of the victims addressed him over a video link.\r\n\r\nWoman 2: Every fiber in my body hurts. I will never talk to her, ever again; I will never be able to hold her again.\r\n\r\nAnn: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Ann Wilson.\r\n\r\nDave: And I\u2019m Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on the FamilyLife\u00ae app.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nThat was a day our country was rocked. I remember it because it had an effect on me; it had an effect on people that were there.\r\n\r\nDave: And we have a gentleman in the studio today, who was personally affected. Chris Singleton is with us today, who travels the country as an inspirational speaker, former professional baseball player. \r\n\r\nSo Chris, I\u2019ve heard you speak. You\u2019re a YouTube phenomenon; did you know that?\r\n\r\nChris: Why, I didn\u2019t know that, man; I didn\u2019t. But I appreciate that for sure, man\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019ve watched you in front of little kids, and high schoolers, and even businessmen and women, and one of the things I\u2019ll never forget\u2014I\u2019d love to hear you talk about this\u2014is what you call your five numbers: 1, 70, 50, 9 and 1. Did you see that?\u2014I didn\u2019t even have to look at my notes. [Laughter]\r\n\r\nChris: That was good.\r\n\r\nAnn: I was pretty impressed by that.\r\n\r\nChris: That was really good, man; that was.\r\n\r\nDave: When I first heard you say those numbers, I thought, \u201cYou\u2019re a baseball guy; you\u2019re talking about your average.\u201d You said \u201c170\u201d; I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, 170? Is that what he hit?\u201d\r\n\r\nChris: No.\r\n\r\nDave: And then you walked through those numbers, and it\u2019s really life changing. So help our listeners understand: \u201cWhat do those numbers mean?\u201d\r\n\r\nChris: I call it my struggle moment, man. Those numbers, to me, they keep me going every single day. There was 1\u20141 person who was misinformed and misled to hate people that look like me; and unfortunately, this 1 person walked into my church, Mother Emanual AME, and fired over 70 bullets. During Bible study that night, over 50 of those bullets entered bodies. He took 9 lives, and 1 of those lives happened to be my hero, my mom.\r\n\r\nThose numbers to me\u2014when it gets tough, being on the road; when it gets tough, being away from my family\u2014those numbers lock me back in, and they keep me going to keep spreading the good word.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, so can you take us back? You get a phone call; you\u2019re what?\u201418 years old?\u201417?\r\n\r\nChris: Yes; 18 years old, just finished my freshman year of college. I had a pretty good freshman year, playing at this mid-major school.\r\n\r\nDave: Pretty good; I mean, you even beat Clemson.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes, we did.\r\n\r\nDave: Isn\u2019t that the first time in school history?\r\n\r\nChris: First time in school history to beat Clemson, man. I was\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: Did you do anything in that game?\r\n\r\nChris: I did; I had a great game, man.\r\n\r\nDave: I already know this. [Laughter] I\u2019m trying to let you tell everybody how great you are.\r\n\r\nChris: Thank you for telling me\u2014I owe you\u2014I like that, man. We beat Clemson\u2014four hits, a diving catch\u2014and the coolest thing for me\u2014my mom was such a baseball mom; she was a teacher at my high school\u2014she was on the intercom the next day: \u201cDid y\u2019all see my baby last night? He had such a good game.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Really?\r\n\r\nChris: Phenomenal freshman season.\r\n\r\nBut I call it \u201cthe unthinkable\u201d is what happened to me and my family\u2014because we see stuff like that on TV, and in the newspapers, or on our phone, we\u2019re scrolling; but we never think it will happen to us\u2014that\u2019s what that night, June 17, 2015, was for me. I get a phone call: \u201cCome down to our church, because something bad happened.\u201d Ultimately, I get down there; and I realize that it wasn\u2019t just something bad\u2014but it was the unimaginable\u2014that my mother and eight other people were shot and killed.\r\n\r\nAnn: So Chris, you have two younger siblings.\r\n\r\nChris: I do; I do.\r\n\r\nAnn: Do they go to the church with you?\u2014or the hospital?\r\n\r\nChris: I went straight to my church\u2014this is fresh\u2014and somebody said, \u201cChris, get down here\u201d; so I went down to my church. They put us in this hotel\u2014is what they had us in\u2014at this time, you see all the social media stuff coming to your phone. Everybody\u2019s calling you, but nobody is telling you anything. You just know something bad has happened. \r\n\r\nI didn\u2019t tell my brother and sister to come down there because I had no idea of the severity of it. Ultimately, though, that night, I had to tell them that Mom was gone. It wasn\u2019t just me\u2014I had my high school sweetheart, my wife now, who was there with me to help me break that news to them\u2014it was really, really rough for us in that moment.\r\n\r\nDave: If I remember right, you got a call from your mom\u2019s phone.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: So you almost think it\u2019s her.\r\n\r\nChris: Exactly.\r\n\r\nDave: But it\u2019s not, so you have no idea. You get down there. When they say your mom was gone\u2014because not everybody was killed; nine were killed, and she\u2019s one of them\u2014do you remember thinking, \u201cWhat do I do?\u201d What was your first thought?\r\n\r\nAnn: Were you angry?\u2014were you sad? Walk us through your emotions.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes; first of all, when I got down there, I was just extremely anxious. I didn\u2019t know what was going to happen. We\u2019re in a hotel room, but it\u2019s actually like a conference room in the hotel. Everybody in there is screaming, and all this stuff is happening there; police in and out.\r\n\r\nAnn: Give us the details of what happened. Someone walked in\u2014\r\n\r\nChris: Yes; this guy walked in with eight magazines of bullets, with hate in his heart\u2014his mission of starting a race war\u2014and he fired all those bullets in my church because of the color of their skin. That\u2019s what happened; but that night, I didn\u2019t know why it happened or what was going on. I just knew that my mom went to Bible study; and later on that night, there was a coroner there.\r\n\r\nI always mention that I hope people are privileged enough to not know who the coroner is\u2014because I was 18, and I didn\u2019t know who she was\u2014but she said to me, \u201cChris, can you describe your mom?\u201d\u2014is what she asked me to do. Ultimately, I thought, \u201cWell, is she asking me to describe this because my mom is hurt so bad?\u2014or is she asking me this because she\u2019s trying to confirm that my mom\u2019s okay?\u201d \r\n\r\nI described my mom; and finally, she said, \u201cChris, it\u2019s confirmed your mother\u2019s been taken away.\u201d So when I heard that, it\u2019s like you go numb. Telling my brother and sister is probably one of the toughest things I\u2019ve ever had to do in my life.\r\n\r\nAnn: How old were they at the time?\r\n\r\nChris: Little brother: 12; little sister: 15\u2014so middle school, high school\u2014telling them that our hero, our mom, was no longer with us.\r\n\r\nAnn: And your dad?\r\n\r\nChris: Dad wasn\u2019t there that night; he wasn\u2019t doing too well. I called him, and I called other people. I actually called my high school basketball coach. That\u2019s why I got such a great relationship with him, because we think\u2014sometimes, as educators, you just think you\u2019re doing what you\u2019re doing; maybe you\u2019re making an impact\u2014but when my dad didn\u2019t answer\u2014 my friends were calling me, and this and that\u2014and a third [call I made], I called my coach. \r\n\r\nSo for me, that night was rough; it was really rough. There was no sleep that night. My little brother, who was 12\u2014I actually slept in the bed next to him\u2014and he\u2019s crying himself to sleep. For a period there, I didn\u2019t give myself any time. I just started thinking, \u201cWhat do I have to do for them?\u201d We always hear: \u201cChris, be strong,\u201d \u201cStay strong\u201d; and so I thought being strong meant never crying. I thought being strong meant never showing any emotion. So there was a small period of time, where I thought strength was being a robot. Life has a funny way of letting you realize that\u2019s not strength; that\u2019s just being fake. \r\n\r\nI\u2019m grateful that God gave me the wisdom to be a real man, and show emotion\u2014and finally come back down to earth\u2014and figure out that: \u201cHey, we\u2019re all human; we all go through things,\u201d and showing emotion doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re weak; it just means you\u2019re a human being.\r\n\r\nDave: You had to keep it together. In some ways, were you the dad to your siblings? \r\n\r\nChris: I always say I was like a father figure; but I realized, really quickly, that being a father figure wouldn\u2019t work for them\u2014because I\u2019m saying: \u201cHey, make sure you do this,\u201d \u201c\u2026do that,\u201d \u201c\u2026straight A\u2019s,\u201d \u201c\u2026this, that, and the third,\u201d\u2014and it\u2019s like, \u201cChris, if you don\u2019t get out of my face, man,\u2026\u201d [Laughter]\r\n\r\nSo I realized I just have to be big brother\u2014because father figure wasn\u2019t going to cut it\u2014but definitely taking care of them. I always told them, \u201cHey, we want to make Mom proud; we can\u2019t let Mom down. Let\u2019s just do what she wants us to do, whether she\u2019s here on earth or not. We know that she\u2019s rejoicing and in a better place.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: Did you know the other victims that were killed that night? Did you know any of them?\r\n\r\nChris: Absolutely; Mother Emanuel, you know, we\u2019re a small church\u2014I always joke that the average age at Mother Emanuel had to be like 65\u2014it was an old church; right? [Laughter] So the young families, we stuck together. Everybody\u2019s like a grandma\/grandpa, or auntie\/uncle; so when you did well at your game, everybody in the church knew. When you got a scholarship to play in college, everybody in the church knew; they celebrated you.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014like a family.\r\n\r\nChris: Oh, man, for sure; it was a family. I knew everybody that lost their life that night, for sure.\r\n\r\nAnn: Oh, so I\u2019m just wondering: \u201cHere you are, this young man. This person walks in to start a race war. How are you not enraged? Did you get to the point, where you\u2019re sad\u2014you said you were in shock\u2014did you get angry?\u201d\r\n\r\nChris: Sometimes, people ask me, \u201cChris, would you change a thing?\u201d Well, absolutely I would; I want my mom here with me. But I know, for a fact, that God put forgiveness in my heart; because there\u2019s no way in the world that I could have said that I forgave my mother\u2019s killer. \r\n\r\nThe way that I describe it is, when I forgave my mother\u2019s killer, a reporter kind of rushed me and said, \u201cHey, Chris. How do you feel about it?\u201d I remember she was from the BBC; she said, \u201cHow do you feel about all these things happening? What do you think about the killer?\u201d I said, \u201cI already forgive him. Our family already forgives him.\u201d My sister looks over at me, like, \u201cWe what?\u201d; right? \r\n\r\nFor me, I described it as being on autopilot. You know, you\u2019re driving home sometimes\u2014and you don\u2019t even know if you turn left or right\u2014but you just get into your driveway. You\u2019re like, \u201cMan, I don\u2019t know what stoplight I was at; I don\u2019t know what stop sign; I was on autopilot.\u201d That\u2019s what it was for me when I forgave my mother\u2019s killer, and I know why now. I know why\u2014because forgiveness wasn\u2019t just for me that day\u2014it was for so many people, who were like, \u201cMan, if this guy and these families can forgive, how can I not?\u201d I\u2019ve just seen so much good come from it. \r\n\r\nI was upset then that my mom was no longer here; I\u2019m still upset that my mom won\u2019t see her grandsons play T-ball; I\u2019ll forever be upset. But I think, \u201cangry\u201d and \u201chaving anger\u201d\u2014no, I don\u2019t feel that in my heart right now; I haven\u2019t ever.\r\n\r\nDave: Do you remember a process of walking through, like you said, the anger to the forgiveness? Was it instantaneous, or did it take a while? What was that like?\r\n\r\nChris: No, man. I think, when I first lost my mom, we didn\u2019t know that she was killed because of the color of her skin. We just knew that a guy walked in and did that; right? It was just a mass shooting. We didn\u2019t know why the mass shooting happened. I was just devastated that my mom was gone\u2014I thought it was just a mass shooting that happened\u2014I didn\u2019t know the reasoning behind it or nothing like that.\r\n\r\nI immediately looked at my brother and sister, and said, \u201cMan, our mom is who feeds us. What are we about to do?\u201d I had no idea\u2014I didn\u2019t know anything about car insurance; didn\u2019t know anything about health care\u2014I didn\u2019t know anything. I was blessed to have a mom that took care of all that stuff, and so I didn\u2019t know. Immediately, I\u2019m trying to figure out: \u201cHow are we eating on Tuesday night?\u201d \u201cWho\u2019s driving to school for the next five years?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s going to happen?\u201d So that\u2019s what the process was for me, initially. \r\n\r\nNow, when things died down\u2014the media went away and all that stuff happened\u2014then I was able to sit down and think, \u201cMan, my mom was really killed because she\u2019s black; that\u2019s a terrible way for somebody to go.\u201d I\u2019m so grateful that, in that time, I think God was molding me; because me, personally\u2014man, if it was just up to me, I would have been like, \u201cHey, this happened; I want to play my sport, and that\u2019s it,\u201d\u2014but God had other plans for me. I didn\u2019t see that at the time, but I see that now. \r\n\r\nThe process for me of forgiveness is simple\u2014I think you have to say it out loud; right?\u2014\u201cI forgive Dylann Roof. I forgive him for taking my mother\u2019s life.\u201d And I think there\u2019s got to be something on the other side of that forgiveness. As a believer, there\u2019s something on the other side of salvation for us: when we die, we know there\u2019s eternal life. \r\n\r\nSo for me, on the other side of forgiveness, I think, \u201cMan, now I don\u2019t have to think every single young white male is racist,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s on the other side of forgiveness for me. On the other side is: \u201cNow, I don\u2019t have to be nervous when I walk into a room; and I can have the door behind me and not be scared,\u201d on the other side of forgiveness. So there has to be something on the other side of it, when you talk about the process of it. \r\n\r\nBut initially, man, God put it on my heart. I\u2019d be giving myself way too much credit, saying, \u201cI did this and that in processing it.\u201d No; God put it on my heart: \u201cThat happened; and now, I know why.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m listening to you, thinking, \u201cMan, this faith!\u201d You\u2019re 18 years old; and yet, you have this foundational faith. How did that come about?\r\n\r\nChris: Yes, I was raised in the church; but being raised in a church doesn\u2019t mean anything.\r\n\r\nAnn: Right.\r\n\r\nChris: It just means you have\u2014you don\u2019t have a choice\u2014that\u2019s what that means; right? [Laughter] So I went to church, like any other kid would; but I say there\u2019s a crossroads, when you go through something really tough, especially when your mom is murdered while she\u2019s praying\/praying in church.\r\n\r\nAnn: She was praying.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes, in Bible study. \r\n\r\nYou can say, \u201cHey, my mom was murdered in church; there\u2019s no way God is real,\u201d\u2014you could say that\u2014or you could say, \u201cGod, I don\u2019t know how in the world this happened or why it happened; but I know only You can get me through it.\u201d I went with the latter; and because I\u2019ve gone with the latter, that\u2019s where my faith has been strengthened, ten-fold. \r\n\r\nI\u2019m super practical about things; because if your mom is murdered, while she\u2019s praying, you could say, \u201cMan, Chris, how could she be killed if she\u2019s praying to the God that you serve?\u201d I said, \u201cGod, I don\u2019t know how; I don\u2019t know why, but I know only You can get me through this mess.\u201d God has come through, time and time after again, so I think my faith has definitely strengthened after it. I used to read my mother\u2019s Bible; she used to read it from cover to cover. She was one of those types of people\u2014every year, read cover to cover\u2014she would highlight things. \r\n\r\nFor me, finally reading the Bible by myself, not just trusting my pastor to do it or my mom to do it\u2014me reading myself\u2014I read her Bibles. Reading those Scriptures, that\u2019s when I found my faith, not just relying on my mom or my pastor; but I found a relationship for myself.\r\n\r\nDave: Was there ever a moment, where you struggled with the: \u201cHow in the world does my mom, or anybody, go to a church, sit in a Bible study, pray, and lose their life?\u201d Did you ever struggle with: \u201cGod, what are You doing?\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014or did your siblings?\r\n\r\nChris: I never struggled with the how, because I think there\u2019s, obviously, good in the world\u2014but there\u2019s some real bad in the world, unfortunately; right?\u2014there are some people, who want to do evil things; I realize that. We have the gift of free will; so some people are going to use it, and it\u2019s going to be cursed. I never struggled with the how, but I always struggled with the why, like, \u201cWhy did my mom have to go?\u201d\u2014the person who loved everybody. She was a track coach\u2014would take you home from school after practice, and say, \u201cHey, did you get a meal?\u201d If not: \u201cLet\u2019s go to Wendy\u2019s\u00ae,\u201d or \u201c\u2026Hardee\u2019s\u00ae\u2014or something\u2014\"real quick.\u201d I struggle with the: \u201cWhy?\u201d \u201cWhy my mom?\u201d \r\n\r\nAs far as my faith, I\u2019m so grateful that I didn\u2019t go the other way\u2014but my brother had a point in time, where he said, \u201cChris, you know, man, I see you\u2019re real strong in your faith, man. But come on, now; come on, now; Mom was praying, and that\u2019s the same God that you\u2019re praying to?\u201d\u2014so he really struggled with that for a while. \r\n\r\nI struggled with it, being big brother; I said, \u201cMan, if my brother gets in a car accident, I don\u2019t know where he\u2019s going right now,\u201d\u2014you know what I\u2019m saying? I really struggled with that; but there was a guy, who was a chaplain for the Patriots. He said, \u201cChris, don\u2019t push him right now. You push him right now; he\u2019s never coming back.\u201d But he definitely had that struggle with: \u201cMan, Chris, I understand your faith has been strengthened because of it; but Mom was praying, and she got killed; so it\u2019s tough for me to believe.\u201d He definitely had that.\r\n\r\nAnn: I\u2019m interested like, when you called your basketball coach, what did he say to you?\r\n\r\nChris: This is a guy, who has been there through everything for me. I always say this: \u201cHe\u2019s actually the first white person I ever heard say, \u2018I love you,\u2019 to me; and he truly meant it too.\u201d He poured into us, and we still have that relationship to this day. Talking to him was all about encouragement. Sometimes, it\u2019s not about what you say; but it\u2019s about being able to pick up the phone and just hear somebody\u2019s voice. \r\n\r\nEven today, I\u2019ll text him every now and then, and just say, \u201cHey, thank you for all you\u2019ve done for me in my life.\u201d He\u2019s always like, \u201cMan, I love you, Chris.\u201d We still have that relationship. Being present sometimes is more important than figuring out the right words to say. Some people ask me, \u201cWhat should I say to this person?\u201d Sometimes, the words aren\u2019t going to cut it; but just being there lets them know that you care about them.\r\n\r\nDave: You were still in college at the time; right?\r\n\r\nChris: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: So help us understand: you\u2019re actually going back to school and playing baseball.\r\n\r\nAnn: I know, Dave; I\u2019m still worried about: \u201cHow did your brother and sister get to school?\u201d and \u201cHow did they get fed?\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Yes; did your dad\u2014was he just AWOL?\u2014he just wasn\u2019t part of the\u2014\r\n\r\nChris: He struggled, man. I would say, in my mind, my dad struggled with alcohol pretty bad; so in my mind, I said, \u201cMan, this is going to get my dad back on track. Losing my mom, he\u2019s got no choice but to step up to the plate.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019d be a wake-up call; yes.\r\n\r\nChris: It\u2019d be a wake-up call is what I was thinking; but no, it was too much for him. He was really sick. My aunt\/she actually stepped up to the plate, and they moved in with my aunt for a year. It was rough for them; they didn\u2019t want to be in Atlanta. They wanted to be in Charleston, where we\u2019re from. So for about a year\/year and a half, they lived there until I got drafted by the Cubs. \r\n\r\nMy whole college career after that was: \u201cHey, I\u2019m going to make my mom proud.\u201d She was always the baseball mom; \u201cI\u2019m going to get drafted for my mom.\u201d I always have this hashtag; it says, \u201cCan\u2019t let moms down.\u201d Every post that I make says, \u201cCan\u2019t let moms down.\u201d That was my goal, being an athlete in college. All I wanted to do was just play sports. \r\n\r\nI would get all the interviews: \u201cHey, Chris, do you want to do this?\u201d \u201c\u2026do that?\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll do it, but baseball is my thing; that\u2019s what I do.\u201d That\u2019s how life was for a couple years after I lost my mom.\r\n\r\nDave: So tell us about\u2014you get drafted\u2014you\u2019re playing baseball; you\u2019re married.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes, married.\r\n\r\nDave: Do you have any kids at home, at that time, when you were in the minor leagues?\r\n\r\nChris: I did. Yes, I had my little man: C.J.\/Chris, Jr. \r\n\r\nDave: So he\u2019s at home; you\u2019re on the road, trying to make it to the bigs.\r\n\r\nChris: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: You\u2019re not playing baseball now.\r\n\r\nChris: No.\r\n\r\nDave: Walk us through the end of that. \r\n\r\nChris: I always say, \u201cAnybody who is married to an athlete, they have to be superwoman; because your [husband\u2019s] gone a lot.\u201d I was gone seven months out of the year; and at home, was not just our son, it\u2019s my little brother and my little sister.\r\n\r\nAnn: They lived with you.\r\n\r\nChris: They lived with me. Yes, they lived with us; so my wife is literally like superwoman.\r\n\r\nDave: Your wife is superwoman. \r\n\r\nChris: Oh, she is; she is.\r\n\r\nDave: You have your brother and sister living with your wife, and you\u2019re gone.\r\n\r\nAnn: As soon as you got married, did they come to live with you?\r\n\r\nChris: Yes; we\u2019re 21\u2014we might be 20; we might be 20 at the time\u2014and they\u2019re teenagers. We\u2019re like\u2014it\u2019s hard\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but we got through it; let\u2019s just say that.\r\n\r\nDave: I\u2019m guessing you got a phone call or two from your wife.\r\n\r\nChris: Oh, my goodness; yes. I got the phone calls: \u201cHey, Chris, this happened,\u201d \u201c\u2026that happened.\u201d I\u2019m always trying to be man in the middle: \u201cHey, let\u2019s just love everybody; okay?\u201d [Laughter] So I got those; but I\u2019m chasing my dream, playing baseball. I played a couple of seasons. I loved the Cubs, man; I got drafted by the Cubs. \r\n\r\nThe first time I remember going to a therapist was when I was playing in the minor leagues, because I struggled with my sport. Everyone was like, \u201cOh, Chris; you\u2019re letting your sport get you down, man. You\u2019ve been through so much\u2014you\u2019ve been through all this\u2014and you\u2019re letting baseball hurt you?\u201d \r\n\r\nI was saying, \u201cMan, baseball\u2019s been the one thing that I could have an escape from all the stuff I was going through.\u201d When I wasn\u2019t having the success, it was tough for me, man, mentally. I started seeing a therapist\u2014it was free therapy\u2014which was super eye-opening for me. I went for about a year; and then, I ultimately, in 2019, I got released by the Cubs. \r\n\r\nI knew exactly what I wanted to do. I'd been speaking in the off-season. I got married on TV; I got married on Lifetime. So people saw me there. \r\n\r\nAnn: Wait, wait, wait. How\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: You got married on Lifetime.\r\n\r\nChris:Somebody DM\u2019d me on social media: \u201cHey Chris, we saw your story on ESPN. We think you deserve a free wedding.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay, do you want me to give you my credit card number?\u2014that's what you want?\u2014or something? Free wedding?\u201d And they said, \u201cNo, we got this show. We think you deserve it.\u201d And sure enough, Lifetime calls me: \u201cHey, Chris, we want you on this show. And so we got married on live TV\/live TV.\r\n\r\nAnn: And they paid for everything?\r\n\r\nChris:Paid for everything.\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014wedding dress? \r\n\r\nDave: That's the best part: it's free!\r\n\r\nChris: \u2014wedding dress. \r\n\r\nDave: What?!\r\n\r\nChris: The guy\u2019s name is David Tutera [who put on the wedding]. No, I bought the ring.\r\n\r\nDave:Okay.\r\n\r\nChris: I bought the ring. \r\n\r\nDave: I'm glad you bought the ring. You got to show some commitment. \r\n\r\nChris: Come on; you got to have some skin in the game, right. \r\n\r\nDave: It doesn't count if you give her a free ring. \r\n\r\nChris: But the guy, David Tutera, actually, created a dress for my wife. She said, \u201cHey, I want my dress to look like this\u201d; and he created a dress for her called the Mariana, which is my wife's name. Free wedding.\r\n\r\nDave: She's got her own dress named after her.\r\n\r\nAnn: Whoa! \r\n\r\nChris:Yes; it's phenomenal.\r\n\r\nDave:You know, honey, I just want to say, \u201cI'm so sorry; our wedding was nothing like that.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn:It wasn't your fault.\r\n\r\nDave:We had paper Pepsi Cola cups at our reception. Anyway\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: So your wedding is paid for. You get married, you guys are 20 years old.\r\n\r\nChris:Yeah; we're 20 years old.\r\n\r\nDave:Well, and here's the thing, being around pro sports over three decades, one of the hardest things is for an athlete to end the career when the career ends, whether it's by injury or personal choice, or you just don't get resigned. So you had that moment, where they're looking at you saying, \u201cI don't see a future.\u201d Did you struggle? Did you want to keep going? Did you walk away? What was that?\r\n\r\nChris:I walked away, man. I think for me, what I see with a lot of athletes is they don't know who they are. They just know what sport they play. \r\n\r\nDave: Exactly. \r\n\r\nChris: So you meet somebody\u2014\u201dHey, I'm Chris; I'm a baseball player,\u201d\u2014and that's all they know that they are. And so when your sport's over, you have an identity crisis.\r\n\r\nFor me, I had a mission; I would sign every single signature: \u201cChris Singleton, Love is greater than hate.\u201d People would ask me, \u201cWhat does that mean, man?\u201d I\u2019d tell them about my story. I got this mission of unity now. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was speaking in the off-season; I was getting opportunities. When I got released, I immediately made a social media post: \u201cHey, I\u2019m done playing ball; but I\u2019m going to continue this mission of teaching love, teaching how we can come together in practical ways.\u201d So that\u2019s what I started to do, and God has blessed it ever since.\r\n\r\nDave: So you\u2019ve been doing\u2014you said earlier\u2014150 or so engagements a year.\r\n\r\nChris: Tone that down\u2014about 100\u2014to be honest with you, coming up pretty soon. My wife and I actually sit down every year\u2014we talk about how many days I can be gone\u2014we\u2019ll go on a couple\u2019s trip in December. We\u2019ll say, \u201cBaby, how many days are you thinking this year?\u201d \r\n\r\nI want to make sure that I don\u2019t become a public success and private failure. One of my favorite mentors, Inky Johnson, said that; and that stuck with me. I never want to become a person, where I\u2019m speaking on a stage one day, and somebody asks my wife\u2014they say\u2014\u201cOh, man, Chris is a great guy.\u201d And my biggest fear is that she says, \u201cWell, no he\u2019s not. Maybe he\u2019s a good guy to you, but he\u2019s not a good guy to us.\u201d That\u2019s a fear that I have\u2014I have nightmares about that\u2014so I will never let that happen.\r\n\r\nDave:Yeah, I always say when a guy says to me\u2014and this happened hundreds of times\u2014and his wife's standing right beside him, and he says something like this: \u201cGod's number one in my life, my wife and my family's number two, and my job is number three,\u201d I never look at the guy; I always look at his wife. \r\n\r\nChris: Yeah, that's true. \r\n\r\nDave: When he's saying that, her face\/her countenance will tell you: \u201cThis is true?\u201d\u2014she'll be smiling, and \u201cYeah\u201d; or she'll be looking off, or even maybe rolling her eyes, \u201cYeah, he's saying that, but it's not real.\u201d So you're saying it's really your wife who determines if your marriage is good.\r\n\r\nChris:Absolutely, man. And everybody says the cliche answer: \u201cHey, why do you do what you do?\u201d \u201cOh, my family\u2026\u201d\u2014everybody says that, right? But being gone 150 days a year, I'm not with my family a lot.\r\n\r\nDave:Right.\r\n\r\nChris:And so for me, I always say, \u201cHey, baby, this is the mission.\u201d And if she didn't see fruit from that mission, she'd be like, \u201cUh-uh; you staying home.\u201d But I take screenshots of every DM that I get from somebody saying: \u201cChris, what you did today changed my heart,\u201d \u201cWhat you did today makes me think I can keep going.\u201d I'll save all those; so she knows, \u201cHey, he's not out there, twiddling his thumbs. He's trying to do the good work.\u201d She believes in my message and my mission, so it\u2019s been good.\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nAnn: Well, I was going to say: you can't do it without her either. Like you guys are a great team; you're in a team ministry. I love that you're sending those to her, because you're saying, \u201cLook what we are doing for the kingdom and for unity in the body.\u201d\r\n\r\nChris:Absolutely; I love it.\r\n\r\nShelby: I'm Shelby Abbott; and you've been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson, with Chris Singleton, on FamilyLife Today. Chris has written a book called Your Life Matters. It's a powerful and really uplifting book that inspires black children by connecting them with historical heroes, who empower them to embrace their identity and advocate for their dreams. You can get your copy right now by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com; or you could click on the link in the show notes. Or feel free to give us a call at 800-358-6329 to request your copy. Again, that number is 800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word, TODAY. \r\n\r\nWe're approaching Thanksgiving; it's coming up very soon. I know you probably already purchased everything that you need to; or you haven't, and you're panicking right now. But what I wanted to mention to you is that we, at FamilyLife, really are intentional about wanting to foster thankfulness in and amongst families. And so we've developed a free download called \u201cThe Gratitude Project\u201d; it's inspired by 1 Thessalonians 5 so that we can embrace gratitude as a spiritual practice. It's really just three weeks of family-friendly activities: things like a gratitude scavenger hunt and conversation starters. All you have to do is head over to the show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com; click on the link there, and you could download a free copy of \u201cThe Gratitude Project.\u201d\r\n\r\nHere in our country, over the last several months, we've been through a lot\/just a whole lot. Many of us are just kind of tired of the tension and division that we're experiencing\u2014with our family; maybe some of our friends; and certainly, on social media\u2014which is why I'm excited to invite you to join us, here at FamilyLife, for a five-week video series from our friend\u2014author and comedian\u2014Amberly Neese. It's called \u201cMoving Toward Each Other in the Middle of a Divisive World.\u201d In it, we just really want to guide you toward building peace with people who have different opinions than you do; and maybe, their beliefs kind of threaten to create division; or your beliefs threaten to create division. We want to help with that. So you could sign up, right now, for the five-week video series by going to the show notes and clicking on the link there. Or just head over to FamilyLife.com\/FindingCommonGround; that's FamilyLife.com\/FindingCommonGround.\r\n\r\nNow, coming up tomorrow: \u201cCould celebrating each child's unique image of God help heal racial division?\u201d Well, Chris Singleton is back with the Wilsons to talk about just that; we hope you'll join us. Audio clips, at the beginning of today's episode, came from Charleston County Government and Voice of America. On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Shelby Abbott. We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.\r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife.com                                 \r\n\r\n\n","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/310109","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47000"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=310109"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=310109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=310109"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=310109"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=310109"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=310109"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=310109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}