{"id":308509,"date":"2024-04-26T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-04-26T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/sin-ill-stop-when-im-ready-john-elmore-2\/"},"modified":"2024-11-19T04:15:15","modified_gmt":"2024-11-19T09:15:15","slug":"sin-ill-stop-when-im-ready-john-elmore-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sin-ill-stop-when-im-ready-john-elmore-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Sin: I\u2019ll Stop When I\u2019m Ready: John Elmore"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ever wondered if it&#8217;s possible to change that thing you&#8217;ve been struggling with? Or if it&#8217;s worth the effort? John Elmore brings in powerful, practical tips for overcoming sin and addiction.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ever wondered if change is possible&#8230;or worth the effort? John Elmore shares practical tips for overcoming sin and addiction.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47000,"featured_media":280865,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/1855b735-2274-49bb-92dc-b155010fcc96\/audio.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:31:03","filesize":"28.47M","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"2024-04-26 09:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9734],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-308509","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","cwp_profile-john-elmore","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/06\/image-scaled.jpg?w=1024","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/308509\/sin-ill-stop-when-im-ready-john-elmore-2","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/308509\/sin-ill-stop-when-im-ready-john-elmore-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"4PtXgcaa6U\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sin-ill-stop-when-im-ready-john-elmore-2\/\">Sin: I\u2019ll Stop When I\u2019m Ready: John Elmore<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sin-ill-stop-when-im-ready-john-elmore-2\/embed\/#?secret=4PtXgcaa6U\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Sin: I\u2019ll Stop When I\u2019m Ready: John Elmore&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"4PtXgcaa6U\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"secondline_imported_guid":["1855b735-2274-49bb-92dc-b155010fcc96"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/1855b735-2274-49bb-92dc-b155010fcc96\/audio.mp3"],"duration":["00:31:03"],"filesize":["28.47M"],"show_notes":["\n<ul>\n<li>Connect with John Elmore and catch more of his thoughts on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/john.elmore.338\/\">Facebook<\/a> and Instagram <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/john_a_elmore\/?hl=en\">@john_a_elmore<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>And grab John\u2019s book, <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/freedom-starts-today-overcoming-struggles-and-addictions-one-day-at-a-time\/\">\"Freedom Starts Today: Overcoming Struggles and Addictions One Day at a Time\"<\/a> in our shop.<\/li>\n<li>Or we'll send it at no cost to you with a <a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/april-2024\/freedom-starts-today\/\">donation of any size this week<\/a>, as our way of saying a huge \"Thank you!\" for partnering with us toward stronger families around the world.<\/li>\n<li>Intrigued by today\u2019s episode? Think deeper about Addiction by listening to \"<a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/addiction-and-our-marriages-happily-even-after-bob-and-dannah-gresh\/\">Addiction\u2013and Our Marriage\u2019s Happily Ever After<\/a>\".<\/li>\n<li>Want to hear more episodes by John Elmore, listen <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/john-elmore\/\">here<\/a>!\u00a0<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/familylife-today-2\/?cru_source=24EGPC&cru_medium=podcast&cru_campaign=FLToday\">Donate to FamilyLife Today!<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n"],"_edit_lock":["1729041551:47000"],"_edit_last":["47000"],"theme_header_position":["Sticky"],"post_header_is_sticky":["default"],"is_header_overlay":["0"],"episode_type":["audio"],"date_recorded":["2024-04-26 09:00:00"],"enclosure":["https:\/\/traffic.omny.fm\/d\/clips\/cbd16f10-ac60-4f09-b4df-b15400ce35aa\/33aaac7e-3581-4e21-a3df-b154011ba58c\/1855b735-2274-49bb-92dc-b155010fcc96\/audio.mp3"],"_seopress_redirections_type":["301"],"_seopress_redirections_logged_status":["both"],"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["280865"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-04-26.pdf"],"transcript_content":["\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript\r\n\r\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.\r\n\r\nSin: I'll Stop When I'm Ready\r\n\r\nGuest:John Elmore\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Freedom Starts Today (Day 3 of 3)\r\n\r\nAir date:April 26, 2024\r\n\r\nJohn: I\u2019m staring through the windshield, just so angry, and she says, \u201cI just wish we\r\n\r\nwouldn\u2019t fight for the rest of our lives.\u201d In that moment, I felt like the Lord said to me, \u201cI\r\n\r\nfreed you from alcoholism. I can free you from arguing with your wife.\u201d\r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014Today!\r\n\r\nDave: When I gave my life to Christ in college and started really reading the Bible for the first time\u2014because I wasn\u2019t much of a Bible reader; I didn\u2019t know I was biblically illiterate\u2014I was finding out [that] a man of God is a man of the Word; so, I startedreading the Bible. There\u2019s a passage I came across that I could not believe was in the\r\n\r\nBible.\r\n\r\nAnn: I have no idea where you\u2019re going with this.\r\n\r\nDave: You don\u2019t know where I\u2019m going with it.\r\n\r\nAnn: No.\r\n\r\nDave: I mean, I remember reading it and thinking, \u201cA guy who wrote the Bible wrote this?\u201d It was Romans 7, and the Apostle Paul writes, \u201cFor I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate,\u201d Romans 7:15.\r\n\r\nI [thought], \u201cWhat?!\u201d because I had experienced that.\r\n\r\nAnn: Oh, we all have.\r\n\r\nDave: I [thought], \u201cThere\u2019s no way a guy that close to God\u201d\u2014this is Apostle Paul, the guy we all want to become! He goes on to say, \u201cI have the desire to do what\u2019s right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good that I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.\u201d [Romans 7:18-19]\r\n\r\nI thought, \u201cOh, my goodness! How in the world is this guy describing, so clearly and\r\n\r\nspecifically, the same struggle that I have?\u201d In fact, it\u2019s one of the reasons I love the\r\n\r\nWord of God; because it\u2019s so honest\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014and so practical to our everyday lives and what we\u2019re going through.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, and it doesn\u2019t hide the struggle. It says, \u201cNo, I know the struggle.\u201d And by\r\n\r\nthe way, I haven\u2019t read the rest of the passage [here], but he does lead you to what we want to talk about today, [which] is: \u201cWhere do you find victory in the struggle?\u201d\r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve got the perfect guy to talk about this with us again. John Elmore is back.\r\n\r\nWelcome to FamilyLife Today, John.\r\n\r\nJohn: Love being here with you all. Thanks for the invitation.\r\n\r\nDave: I mean, you have\u2014obviously, we\u2019ve talked about it so far this week; you\u2019ve\u2014\r\n\r\nwalked through a similar struggle with alcohol. You direct a ministry at Watermark Church in Dallas to thousands, and I mean, literally, 1,200 or so a week on Monday nights in a recovery program.\r\n\r\n[You], obviously, have read Romans 7; you have walked through this. You\u2019re a father;you\u2019re a husband; you\u2019ve got kids. You have this dynamic ministry. You\u2019ve written a\r\n\r\nbook called Freedom Starts Today: Overcoming Struggles and Addictions One Day at a\r\n\r\nTime.\r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve already talked quite a bit about this struggle. \r\n\r\nAnn: I would add, too, Dave, if you haven\u2019t listened to our first conversations where John shared his story of overcoming\u2014of, really, Jesus overcoming\u2014addictions, I would really recommend that you listen to those discussions, because it was a holy moment in here where we were all crying. John was on his knees as we prayed. It was remarkable to me, because it showed me your need for Jesus, your love for Jesus of setting you free. I say go back and listen to that. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, and then jump right in right now, because here we are. I know people are listening who, literally, are living Romans 7: \u201cI want to do the right thing; I feel like I can\u2019t. I don\u2019t even have the power to do it.\u201d \r\n\r\nJohn, you\u2019ve been there. You walk with people every week\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014who maybe feel hopeless, too, in it.\r\n\r\nJohn: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: How do you get to victory? How do we win over the struggle?\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes, such a good question. It\u2019s one everybody is asking, because whether or not they\u2019ve read Romans 7, they have lived Romans 7. Everyone has known that experience: \u201cI don\u2019t want to do this anymore; and yet, I keep going back to it. What is this cycle that I\u2019m in that I hate and yet I keep returning to?\u201d\r\n\r\nHere\u2019s the crazy thing: it\u2019s not just localized to Paul writing to the Romans, and we\r\n\r\nread it as the Bible. It is the common experience of all of mankind. \r\n\r\nForbes and Inc did this study on New Year\u2019s resolutions. I was reading about it this year because it is so fascinating to me. They said, \u201cThere are New Year\u2019s resolutions. Everybody has this thing in their life. Maybe it\u2019s overeating; maybe it\u2019s not working out; maybe it\u2019s unhealthy lifestyle\u2014whatever it may be\u2014spending too much. They know something is wrong. They want it out of their life. They make a resolution, meaning they go public with it! They put it on social media; they\u2019ve told everyone\u2019 they throw out half their pantry; [Laughter] they change their wardrobe, or whatever it may be.\r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re kind of describing me right now, John. What\u2019s happening? [Laughter]\r\n\r\nJohn: They make all these macro changes, and two-and-a-half weeks later, on January 19, 90 percent of people have already quit; so much so, they call it National Quitting Day. [Laughter] How funny is that? We make this outcry saying, \u201cI\u2019m done with this. I\u2019m making a huge change! New Year, new me!\u201d and on January 19th, two-and-a-half weeks later, they\u2019ve all quit.\r\n\r\nThey did a follow-up study, because they\u2019re thinking, \u201cWhat is going on? People\r\n\r\nknow something shouldn\u2019t be in their life, they make a declaration, and they return to ittwo-and-a-half weeks later.\u201d Follow-up study revealed, far and away greatest reason:\r\n\r\n\u201cWe don\u2019t have enough will power.\u201d\r\n\r\nThe psychologists and sociologists ascending the mountain of knowledge only to find the theologians already sitting there saying, \u201cOf course you don\u2019t have enough will power.\u201d You don\u2019 have will power over sin\u2019s power. That is the Holy Spirit\u2019s job. It\u2019s not your job to war against sin. You have no ability to fight sin. That is the Spirit\u2019s job! It\u2019s Romans 8:13, where he says: \u201cIf you live according to the flesh, you\u2019ll die,\u201d\u2014\u201cYou do what you want to do, it\u2019s not going to go well; you\u2019ll die [paraphrased],\u201d\u2014\u201cBut\u201d He says, He never leaves us there\u2014I love that about God\u2014He says, \u201cBut if by the Spirit\u2014 \u201d\u2014He is the means\u2014\u201c\u2014you put to death the deeds of the flesh, you\u2019ll live.\u201d [Romans 8:13]\r\n\r\nWe\u2019re told in 1 Peter 1: The Father adopts; [we] are sprinkled, have a cleansing by the Son; and then the Spirit\u2019s job is the Sanctifier, the One who makes us holy. He is the One who takes us from justification all the way through glorification. He gets that big, lifelong job of sanctification; it\u2019s His job. Yet we try, thinking, \u201cI think that\u2019s my job.\u201d No, that\u2019s not your job. You can\u2019t. You don\u2019t have the willpower, the gumption, the white knuckles, the anything. That is the Spirit\u2019s role.  \r\n\r\nThis is really fascinating, too. Owen talks about the negative work of the Spirit. When I first read this, in Mortification of the Flesh, I thought, \u201cWait. What?\u201d \u2018Negative work of the Holy Spirit\u2019; that must be a wrong translation because it\u2019s 400 years old. You just said something way out of bounds. That\u2019s blasphemous. Nothing God does, God the Spirit, is negative.\u201d \r\n\r\nWhat he said is we always focus on the positive work of the Holy Spirit: the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. We\u2019ve got that memorized as a five-year-old, and we have altogether neglected the negative work of the Holy Spirit. The negative work of the Holy Spirit is that He is the Sin Killer; it\u2019s His job!\r\n\r\nWe wrestle, for all our lives, trying to kill sin, and we are getting killed. And our wives, and spouses, and children are looking at us thinking, \u201cDon\u2019t you know this is wrong? Why don\u2019t you just stop?\u201d \u201cJust stop looking at porn!\u201d \u201cJust stop hurting us!\u201d \u201cJust stop being passive,\u201d \u201c\u2026raising your voice,\u201d \u201c\u2026overeating!\u201d \u201cJust stop!\u201d\r\n\r\nWe\u2019re trying, but we can\u2019t, and we fail, because it\u2019s the Spirit\u2019s job. So, what do we do? We\u2019ve got to bring God into the fight.\r\n\r\nAnn: I have\u2014like this eating thing is hard\u2014my numbers\u2014my cholesterol is bad. They\u2019re saying, \u201cHey, if you just stop eating these certain things\u2026,\u201d and I feel more compelled to go to it than ever before.\r\n\r\nJohn: Right; right.\r\n\r\nAnn: I think maybe it\u2019s not a huge addiction, but it\u2019s anything that\u2019s controlling us or ourflesh is controlling us.\r\n\r\nJohn: I think everybody when they hear something like this, they [think]: \u201cOh, my\r\n\r\nnephew needs that,\u201d \u201cMy spouse needs that.\u201d [Laughter] Well, we\u2019ve all got our thing that we run to.\r\n\r\nIn 1 John, the Apostle John writes to the church. The ending of it says: \u201cLittle children,\r\n\r\nkeep yourselves from idols.\u201d [1 John 5:21] Because all of us, daily\u2014as Calvin wrote, \u201cThe heart is an idol factory,\u201d\u2014we\u2019re all going to have these ditches, these things that we run to. Maybe they aren\u2019t as insidious socially, but they\u2019re every bit insidious to\r\n\r\nthe holiness of God. \r\n\r\nSo, as Owen said, \u201cBe killing sin, or it will be killing you.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: How? Because, obviously, there\u2019s part of me saying, \u201cOkay, I have the power of the Holy Spirit. You do\u2014\"\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014the Sin Killer.\r\n\r\nDave: \u201c\u2014the Sin Killer.\u201d I\u2019ve experienced that; and yet, there\u2019s moments of weakness,\r\n\r\nwhere it\u2019s almost like Paul wrote in Philippians, \u201cWork out your salvation in fear and\r\n\r\ntrembling.\u201d There\u2019s part of working\u2014I mean, it\u2019s all done by the blood of Christ in the\r\n\r\npower of the Spirit; but there\u2019s our side.\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: We have to take a step. How do you defeat an eating addiction? You don\u2019t just\r\n\r\nsay, \u201cOh, God did it.\u201d He did!\r\n\r\nJohn: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: But what is my participation? What is my working that out? Tell us how to work it out.\r\n\r\nJohn: When I was freed from alcoholism, probably ten years sober, and married to Laura, we were on a date night. We had not made it two blocks from our house, and we were already in a fight. We\u2019ve got small children, kids screaming, diapers flying. I mean it\u2019s just a mess. Here we are on our date night. We\u2019re going to Chile\u2019s to split a meal, because I\u2019m a pastor, and we go big. [Laughter] \r\n\r\nTwo blocks away, we were sitting at the light at Waterview and Campbell. I was staring through the windshield so angry, and she said, \u201cI just wish we wouldn\u2019t fight for the rest of our lives.\u201d In that moment, I feel like the Lord said to me, \u201cI freed you from alcoholism. I can free you from arguing with your wife if you\u2019ll just ask.\u201d It\u2019s bringing God into the fight.\r\n\r\nI started doing what I did 15 years prior: getting on my knees every day, asking God to\r\n\r\nkeep me sober. But this time, it was: \u201cGod, keep me from fighting with Laura. She\u2019s your daughter; she\u2019s my wife, my sister in Christ. This is not Your will, so free us.\u201d \r\n\r\nThat first year, we probably fought three times, which single people are thinking, \u201cHah! See, it didn\u2019t work.\u201d [Laughter] Married people are saying,\u2014Ann: \u2014oh, yes, \u201cVictory!\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: \u201c\u2014Dream!\u201d\r\n\r\nJohn: \u2014\u201cIt\u2019s a miracle! Oh, my goodness!\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Three times yesterday, or do you mean three times the whole year?\r\n\r\nJohn: Three times in a whole year, and it was a miracle. Halfway through the year,\r\n\r\nLaura\u2019s said, \u201cHave you noticed we don\u2019t fight anymore?\u201d I hadn\u2019t told her what I wasdoing, that I was seeking daily repentance\u2014which is what it is. It\u2019s not daily sobriety.\r\n\r\nIt is daily repenting; turning from sin by turning towards Christ. I was, daily,\r\n\r\n[praying], \u201cLord, today, by Your strength, don\u2019t let me fight with Laura,\u201d and we didn\u2019t. She said, \u201cThat\u2019s amazing! We haven\u2019t fought.\u201d \r\n\r\nI said, \u201cWell, I need to tell you something.\u201d What\u2019s crazy is, I\u2019m the only one that changed anything. She didn\u2019t change anything, which squarely places the blame on me\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014wow!\r\n\r\nJohn: \u2014for the fighting.\r\n\r\nAnn: But, John, you did\u2014\r\n\r\nJohn: \u2014but with one spouse\u2019s efforts, look what can happen.\r\n\r\nAnn: And you did it every single day?\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s really big! You\u2019re going to God, asking God to be the Sin Killer in your life.\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re repenting every day.\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes, I don\u2019t believe there\u2019s any other way. I\u2019ve tried, and I fall headlong into sin. There\u2019s just no other way. Right now, it needs to be daily repentance from being short with my kids. That\u2019s the one that\u2019s\u2014with kids that are seven, five and three\u2014I just\u2014man, they own me.\r\n\r\nDave: I don\u2019t want anybody to miss this: you didn\u2019t do what I would probably do. If we\u2019re fighting, and I want God to help us with fighting, I would have said, \u201cGod, change her; change Ann. She can\u2019t see my perspective. She always brings up stuff.\u201d It\u2019s a hard thing to look in the mirror and say, \u201cThis isn\u2019t a \u2018her fault\u2019 problem.\u201d\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: Of course, she\u2019s got her thing; but you said, \u201cGod change me.\u201d\r\n\r\nJohn: Well, there was about seven years of that: \u201cThis woman You gave\r\n\r\nme--!\u201d You know, it\u2019s Adam [about] Eve.\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJohn: \u201cIt\u2019s her fault.\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cNo.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: What\u2019s your wife\u2019s name?\r\n\r\nJohn: Laura.\r\n\r\nDave: Talk about her role, and anybody\u2019s role, in a person that is\u2014to get back to where we were saying, \u201cOkay, God brought me a partner.\u201d \r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: Some of us have partners; some of us don\u2019t, but we all want a road to victory. The struggle we started with: \u201cI can\u2019t do what I want to do.\u201d We have the Holy Spirit in our lives, but we\u2019ve got to take some steps; so, walk us through the recovery that you\u2019ve been through and that you help others through.\r\n\r\nJohn: I tell people: \u201cIf you want to be forgiven, confess to God. If you want to be healed, confess to others.\u201d It\u2019s 1 John 1:9 and James 5:16. There\u2019s no way around it. For healing\u2019s sake, and this is like super simple: A-C-T\u2014you just ACT. \r\n\r\n\u201cA\u201d is \u201cAsk God.\u201d You bring God into the fight. That\u2019s Romans 8:13, where you, by the power of the Holy Spirit, invite Him into the fight, because He\u2019s the Sin Killer. He\u2019s the One that wars against sin. You just ask Him! Jjust say, \u201cGod, I\u2019m addicted to porn. Will You help me? Will You free me from it?\u201d This is a daily walk with God, of saying, \u201cHey, God, I have a struggle today. Will You free me today?\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014every day?\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes, ask Him every day, and I recommend you do that in a position of humility\u2014on your knees if you can. If you can\u2019t [because of] physical limitations, raise your hands. My kids, when they come up to me, their hands are up; they\u2019re helpless, especially my three-year-old.\r\n\r\nSomewhere along the way, we stopped doing that. God reminds us, \u201cMen with holy hands lifted high praying.\u201d [1 Timothy 2:8, paraphrased]. You see it all throughout the Psalms. You see people, on their knees, praying. So, I recommend doing that. It just helps. He made us body, mind, and soul. When you engage your body, with where your mind and spirit are, I think it\u2019s really beneficial.\r\n\r\nDave: Now, let me ask you this\u2014\r\n\r\nJohn: \u2014yes, please.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014\u201cHave you ever talked to anybody that said, \u201cI\u2019m too embarrassed,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m too\r\n\r\nunworthy to ask God for help. I\u2019ve failed Him so badly?\u201d I mean, is that ever a problem?\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: Because that\u2019s identity. That\u2019s understanding that they are forgiven, but I thinkthat\u2019s something that, sometimes, we are afraid.\r\n\r\nJohn: That\u2019s a wise pastor asking that question, because I don\u2019t know how many times\r\n\r\nI\u2019ve heard, \u201cBut I\u2019m just not worthy.\u201d\r\n\r\nMy response is: \u201cYou\u2019re not, and God loves [us] so much in our unworthiness. There\u2019s\r\n\r\nnothing we could do to make ourselves worthy. If you wait until you\u2019re worthy, you\u2019re\r\n\r\ngoing to be waiting a really long time.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s good.\r\n\r\nJohn: \u201cBut He comes to us; that\u2019s His only choice.\u201d\r\n\r\nI tell people this a lot: I say, Jesus in Jericho\u2014what\u2019s He doing there? It\u2019s a God-forsaken city. Joshua says, \u201cWhoever rebuilds this, you\u2019ll do so at the cost of your children.\u201d Then they rebuild it. \r\n\r\nThen Jesus goes to Jericho, and you think, \u201cHe\u2019s about to tell those people what\u2019s up. They shouldn\u2019t have rebuilt their city.\u201d [Laughter] Instead, He goes to the worst person in the whole city. He goes to the chief tax collector. He seeks out the one, of His own people, that should have known better and didn\u2019t. It says he was rich. He [Jesus] just goes to the worst in the worst city.\r\n\r\nWhy? And how does this relate to: \u201cWhat if someone doesn\u2019t feel, \u2018I\u2019m worthy\u2019?\u201d That\u2019s the only kind of person that God can go to is unworthy people in sin! And yet, He does. That\u2019s where Jesus set His sights. He said, \u201cI\u2019ve got to go to Jericho to meet Zacchaeus.\u201d Church history tells us he [Zacchaeus] went on to become the bishop of Caesarea, a pastor over a whole city. \r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJohn: Unworthiness is actually a really healthy heart condition. Yes, you are altogether unworthy; and He loves you all the more. It\u2019s beautiful.\r\n\r\n\u201cA\u201d is \u201cAsk God to help.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cC\u201d is \u201cCommit.\u201d I think we can often have a reactive confession of sin, thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll tell you if and when my sin gets bad enough, big enough; I\u2019ll bring it into the light, if ever.\u201d\r\n\r\nBut this, now, is a proactive commitment. \r\n\r\nRather than telling you, \u201cIf and when I sin,\u201d I\u2019m going to decide in advance. I\u2019m going to commit\u2014that\u2019s the \u201cC,\u201d commit\u2014for the next 24 hours to not give into my sin, whether that\u2019s food, porn, control, nagging, [or] whatever it may be, giving myself away to guys, passivity. I commit, by God\u2019s strength\u2014that\u2019s really important; that\u2019s the \u201cA\u201d; by God\u2019s strength\u2014for the next 24 hours.\r\n\r\nI\u2019m not going to quit forever. Don\u2019t focus on forever; focus on today, daily bread: \u201cSeek first His kingdom and His righteousness today. Don\u2019t worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow\u2019s got enough worries of its own.\u201d [Matthew 6:33-34] What you\u2019re doing is committing to another person saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to tell Dave.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cHey, Dave, I commit to you, by God\u2019s strength, that I will not be short with my kids for the next 24 hours.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnd now, we\u2019re going to go for the \u201cT\u201d because this is ACT: \u201cAsk God,\u201d \u201cCommit,\u201d and\r\n\r\nthen \u201cT,\u201d \u201cTalk\u201d or \u201cText,\u201d however you want to phrase it. If you want to call\u2014probably not meet in person, that would be a lot of meetings\u2014or text: \u201cI\u2019m going to follow up with you this time tomorrow. I\u2019m going to set an alarm on my phone for 3:15. I\u2019m going to let you know how I did in 24 hours, if I was free from being short, and sharp, and harsh with my kids for the last 24 hours.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnd if I fell, your response is to pray for me\u2014James 5:16. You\u2019re going to say, \u201cHey, man, thank you for confessing. You want to re-up? You want to go another 24 hours?\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cYes, of course. I want to turn from this. Proverbs 28:13, \u2018Whoever conceals a sin will not prosper. Whoever confesses and renounces will find mercy.\u2019 So, yes, I want to fall forward seven times and rise again.\u201d\r\n\r\nOr I call and say, \u201cYes, I was free from being harsh and sharp with my kids.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cMan, awesome! Praise God! Let\u2019s thank the Lord. Do you want to go another 24 hours?\u201d\r\n\r\nWe then, start walking daily. Again, this is not some Christian life hack. That\u2019s Hebrews\r\n\r\n3:13, where it says, \u201cEncourage one another daily so that\u2026\u201d Why? Why do we needto encourage each other daily? Isn\u2019t Sunday enough? Isn\u2019t women\u2019s Bible study onWednesday enough?\r\n\r\nNo, every single day! \u201cWhy, God?\u201d \u201c\u2026so that you will not be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.\u201d [Hebrews 3:13] Every single day, you\u2019re going to be hardened by\r\n\r\nsin, unless you have a daily encouragement with a brother or sister in Christ.\r\n\r\nThat ACT: \u201cAsk God,\u201d \u201cCommit for 24 hours\u201d\u2014not for life; for 24 hours. People can\u2019t quitporn for life, or they already would have. When I was struggling with drinking, the doctorwould say, \u201cYou know you need to quit drinking.\u201d I thought, \u201cOh, that\u2019s profound! Brilliant. Thanks for the help.\u201d [Laughter] \u201cYes, of course I know that. I don\u2019t know how.\u201d\r\n\r\nDo it for one day, 24 hours\u2014daily bread. And then, \u201cTalk\/Text\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the ACT\u2014follow up with someone the next day.\r\n\r\nAnn: That requires friendship; it requires accountability.\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: How do people get that? I\u2019m thinking, especially, sometimes, you feel so isolated;you\u2019re living in so much shame. What would your first steps be in encouraging someoneto find that person or find a few people?\r\n\r\nJohn: I would start with your church. If they say, \u201cI can\u2019t tell my church, because then\r\n\r\nmy church would know.\u201d Well, that\u2019s a whole bigger problem if you can\u2019t tell your church. So, be the first one. If you get mocked because of your sin, then widen the circle, and say to your group\u2019s pastor, whoever it is: \u201cHey, I brought this into the light. It resulted in gossip.\u201d Work through it. Don\u2019t go find another church. Don\u2019t church shop; that\u2019s not right. Be the change; bring health. \r\n\r\nRepentance is a thing that catches fire. God will use it. If you just keep bouncing and running, or \u201cI\u2019ll tell my over-eaters anonymous group,\u201d it\u2019s like, \u201cNo, no; these are scriptural instructions for the church.\u201d\r\n\r\nI would say find a brother or sister in Christ. I would do same gender, just because of\r\n\r\neverything that could happen there. I would say, not with your spouse, just because your spouse may be one of the ones that you\u2019re sinning the greatest against. Walk with\r\n\r\na brother in arms. I think a lot of times, with guys, they\u2019ll just honestly want to unpack their guilt with their wife, and they should. They have sinned against their wife. They need to ask their wife for forgiveness; they have withheld themselves from their spouse as 1 Corinthians 7 says not to. They do need to ask for forgiveness, but I think, sometimes, you need a brother who\u2019s going to exhort you, admonish you, rebuke you, [and] encourage you all the different ways that Scripture instructs.\r\n\r\nAnd for a sister in Christ\u2014it could be spouse for different couples, who are different maturity levels\u2014if a spouse is ready to own mutually. There\u2019s different dynamics\u2014but I\u2019d say a brother or sister in Christ.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, and I would just\u2014man, it\u2019s been so helpful\u2014because I learned what you said earlier, years ago, and I never understood it: that when you confess to God you receive forgiveness; when you confess to a brother, or a woman confesses to a sister,\r\n\r\nyou receive healing.\r\n\r\nI was always like, \u201cHow are you healed? God\u2019s the healer.\u201d But there\u2019s a healing that happens. Again, we said earlier, when you bring something out of the dark into the light,\r\n\r\nin community with somebody you can trust, the healing starts. Again, it doesn\u2019t mean you never struggle with this again. It\u2019s not: \u201cThis demon is gone,\u201d but it is this beautiful\r\n\r\nstep toward healing. It just shows how God made us to need one another.\r\n\r\nJohn: It\u2019s the body of Christ.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, community.\r\n\r\nJohn: It\u2019s 1 Corinthians 12, where he says, \u201cYou can\u2019t say to another part of the body, \u2018I don\u2019t need you.\u2019\u201d [I Corinthians 12:21]\r\n\r\nDave: Exactly.\r\n\r\nJohn: We are all [an] inextricably intertwined temple in which God dwells.\r\n\r\nDave: And I think we play this game thinking, \u201cI\u2019ve confessed it to God. I\u2019m forgiven. I\u2019ve got it,\u201d and then we struggle. \u201cI confessed it to God. I\u2019m forgiven.\u201d It\u2019s like it\u2019s so scary, isn\u2019t it, to tell a brother?\r\n\r\nI\u2019ll never forget the day I told three of my best friends, the year we started our church, that I was struggling with porn. I had no idea, but in that moment, healing started. \r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: It was finally out to some people that I was\u2014they were my best friends, and I\u2019m still scared to death to tell them because they don\u2019t know! I thought I would get: \u201cAre you kidding me, dude?!\u201d They all looked at me and said: \u201cThanks for sharing. We will walk with you.\u201d\r\n\r\nHere I am, 30 years later,\u2014John: \u2014that\u2019s so beautiful.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014living a different life because there was healing in that moment, that was continual healing. Again, I would just say, if you\u2019re listening and nobody knows, you\u2019ve got to tell somebody. It isn\u2019t: \u201cSend an email to your pastor,\u201d unless you\u2019re really good friends with him. It\u2019s: \u201cYou need to text or call somebody that you know\u201d\u2014\r\n\r\nJohn: \u2014yes, that you walk with daily.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014\u201cthat will walk with you; that you can ACT with.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: I think one of the things, too, is to get John\u2019s book, Freedom Starts Today.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: Because it\u2019s a 90-day devotional. We could all read it, honestly, and it would help us. John, thank you for being here. I\u2019m wondering, \u201cWould you just pray for our listeners to close us?\u201d\r\n\r\nJohn: I would love to.\r\n\r\nAnn: I think it would be great.\r\n\r\nJohn:\r\n\r\nFather, thank You so much for brothers and sisters in Christ that you\u2019ve adopted by the blood of Jesus, now indwelt by the Spirit. \r\n\r\nLord, we hate sin. We love You, and yet, we return to that which we hate. \r\n\r\nI ask for freedom. \r\n\r\nI pray, Lord, that You would do what only the Spirit can do\u2014that You would kill sin in us\u2014as we walk together, encouraging one another daily, and that we would take action. As Dave and Ann have rightly said, this isn\u2019t just something we\u2019re listening to as a daily nourishment, but that this would be actionable. You say in your Word, \u201cDo not just be hearers but doers,\u201d so, Lord, may we employ what You have made so clear in the Scripture, to be free from sin. \r\n\r\nLord, may repentance be the root of revival so that, at Your coming, You will find the bride of Christ spotless, without wrinkle or blemish. \r\n\r\nWe love You. In the mighty Name of Jesus,\r\n\r\nAmen.\r\n\r\nAnn: Amen.\r\n\r\nDave: Amen.\r\n\r\nShelby: I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with John Elmore on FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nIt\u2019s been a phenomenally poignant show today and the previous two days that John has been with us. It\u2019s been super helpful for me personally. I hope it\u2019s been helpful for you as well. \r\n\r\nJohn Elmore has written a book called Freedom Starts Today: Overcoming Struggles and Addictions One Day at a Time. This is a powerful message of John\u2019s story overcoming addiction, but then also his story being a reflection of, not only the way that Jesus has worked in his life, but also an opportunity for him to disciple you through his words and help you overcome your struggles and addictions as well. \r\n\r\nIf that\u2019s you, or you know someone who is struggling with addiction, this book can be our gift to you when you partner with us today. You can simply go online to get your copy at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can click on the \u201cDonate Now\u201d button at the top of the page. Or you can give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Or you can feel free to drop us a donation in the mail if you\u2019d like. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, Florida 32832. If you do drop us something in the mail, just make sure you request John Elmore\u2019s Freedom Starts Today. \r\n\r\nIf you know anyone who needs to hear conversations like today\u2019s, would you share it from wherever you get your podcasts? While you\u2019re there, you can help others learn about FamilyLife Today by leaving us a review. \r\n\r\nNow, coming up next week, what are some practical strategies to cope stress and nurture healthy parent-child relationships? Well, Sissy Goff is going to be joining Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about just that. That\u2019s next week. We hope you\u2019ll join us. \r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\r\n\r\nwww.FamilyLife                                 \r\n\r\n\n"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-308509.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-308509.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > 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Coyle","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/margaret-coyle-a9eb952f\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Ever wondered if change is possible...or worth the effort? John Elmore shares practical tips for overcoming sin and addiction.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"\n<ul>\n<li>Connect with John Elmore and catch more of his thoughts on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/john.elmore.338\/\">Facebook<\/a> and Instagram <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/john_a_elmore\/?hl=en\">@john_a_elmore<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>And grab John\u2019s book, <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product\/freedom-starts-today-overcoming-struggles-and-addictions-one-day-at-a-time\/\">\"Freedom Starts Today: Overcoming Struggles and Addictions One Day at a Time\"<\/a> in our shop.<\/li>\n<li>Or we'll send it at no cost to you with a <a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/april-2024\/freedom-starts-today\/\">donation of any size this week<\/a>, as our way of saying a huge \"Thank you!\" for partnering with us toward stronger families around the world.<\/li>\n<li>Intrigued by today\u2019s episode? Think deeper about Addiction by listening to \"<a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/addiction-and-our-marriages-happily-even-after-bob-and-dannah-gresh\/\">Addiction\u2013and Our Marriage\u2019s Happily Ever After<\/a>\".<\/li>\n<li>Want to hear more episodes by John Elmore, listen <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/guest\/john-elmore\/\">here<\/a>!\u00a0<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/donate.familylife.com\/familylife-today-2\/?cru_source=24EGPC&cru_medium=podcast&cru_campaign=FLToday\">Donate to FamilyLife Today!<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find resources from this podcast at <a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/radio-resources\/\">shop.familylife.com<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/product-category\/past-radio-resources\/\">See resources from our past podcasts.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Find more content and resources on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/app\/\">FamilyLife's app<\/a>!<\/li>\n<li>Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303\">Apple Podcast<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm?si=d6dfa8d2415f4750\">Spotify<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the <a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/\">FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2024-04-26.pdf","transcript_content":"\nFamilyLife Today\u00ae National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript\r\n\r\nReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete.\r\n\r\nSin: I'll Stop When I'm Ready\r\n\r\nGuest:John Elmore\r\n\r\nFrom the series:Freedom Starts Today (Day 3 of 3)\r\n\r\nAir date:April 26, 2024\r\n\r\nJohn: I\u2019m staring through the windshield, just so angry, and she says, \u201cI just wish we\r\n\r\nwouldn\u2019t fight for the rest of our lives.\u201d In that moment, I felt like the Lord said to me, \u201cI\r\n\r\nfreed you from alcoholism. I can free you from arguing with your wife.\u201d\r\n\r\nShelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\r\n\r\nAnn: This is FamilyLife\u2014\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014Today!\r\n\r\nDave: When I gave my life to Christ in college and started really reading the Bible for the first time\u2014because I wasn\u2019t much of a Bible reader; I didn\u2019t know I was biblically illiterate\u2014I was finding out [that] a man of God is a man of the Word; so, I startedreading the Bible. There\u2019s a passage I came across that I could not believe was in the\r\n\r\nBible.\r\n\r\nAnn: I have no idea where you\u2019re going with this.\r\n\r\nDave: You don\u2019t know where I\u2019m going with it.\r\n\r\nAnn: No.\r\n\r\nDave: I mean, I remember reading it and thinking, \u201cA guy who wrote the Bible wrote this?\u201d It was Romans 7, and the Apostle Paul writes, \u201cFor I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate,\u201d Romans 7:15.\r\n\r\nI [thought], \u201cWhat?!\u201d because I had experienced that.\r\n\r\nAnn: Oh, we all have.\r\n\r\nDave: I [thought], \u201cThere\u2019s no way a guy that close to God\u201d\u2014this is Apostle Paul, the guy we all want to become! He goes on to say, \u201cI have the desire to do what\u2019s right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good that I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.\u201d [Romans 7:18-19]\r\n\r\nI thought, \u201cOh, my goodness! How in the world is this guy describing, so clearly and\r\n\r\nspecifically, the same struggle that I have?\u201d In fact, it\u2019s one of the reasons I love the\r\n\r\nWord of God; because it\u2019s so honest\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014and so practical to our everyday lives and what we\u2019re going through.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, and it doesn\u2019t hide the struggle. It says, \u201cNo, I know the struggle.\u201d And by\r\n\r\nthe way, I haven\u2019t read the rest of the passage [here], but he does lead you to what we want to talk about today, [which] is: \u201cWhere do you find victory in the struggle?\u201d\r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve got the perfect guy to talk about this with us again. John Elmore is back.\r\n\r\nWelcome to FamilyLife Today, John.\r\n\r\nJohn: Love being here with you all. Thanks for the invitation.\r\n\r\nDave: I mean, you have\u2014obviously, we\u2019ve talked about it so far this week; you\u2019ve\u2014\r\n\r\nwalked through a similar struggle with alcohol. You direct a ministry at Watermark Church in Dallas to thousands, and I mean, literally, 1,200 or so a week on Monday nights in a recovery program.\r\n\r\n[You], obviously, have read Romans 7; you have walked through this. You\u2019re a father;you\u2019re a husband; you\u2019ve got kids. You have this dynamic ministry. You\u2019ve written a\r\n\r\nbook called Freedom Starts Today: Overcoming Struggles and Addictions One Day at a\r\n\r\nTime.\r\n\r\nWe\u2019ve already talked quite a bit about this struggle. \r\n\r\nAnn: I would add, too, Dave, if you haven\u2019t listened to our first conversations where John shared his story of overcoming\u2014of, really, Jesus overcoming\u2014addictions, I would really recommend that you listen to those discussions, because it was a holy moment in here where we were all crying. John was on his knees as we prayed. It was remarkable to me, because it showed me your need for Jesus, your love for Jesus of setting you free. I say go back and listen to that. \r\n\r\nDave: Yes, and then jump right in right now, because here we are. I know people are listening who, literally, are living Romans 7: \u201cI want to do the right thing; I feel like I can\u2019t. I don\u2019t even have the power to do it.\u201d \r\n\r\nJohn, you\u2019ve been there. You walk with people every week\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014who maybe feel hopeless, too, in it.\r\n\r\nJohn: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: How do you get to victory? How do we win over the struggle?\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes, such a good question. It\u2019s one everybody is asking, because whether or not they\u2019ve read Romans 7, they have lived Romans 7. Everyone has known that experience: \u201cI don\u2019t want to do this anymore; and yet, I keep going back to it. What is this cycle that I\u2019m in that I hate and yet I keep returning to?\u201d\r\n\r\nHere\u2019s the crazy thing: it\u2019s not just localized to Paul writing to the Romans, and we\r\n\r\nread it as the Bible. It is the common experience of all of mankind. \r\n\r\nForbes and Inc did this study on New Year\u2019s resolutions. I was reading about it this year because it is so fascinating to me. They said, \u201cThere are New Year\u2019s resolutions. Everybody has this thing in their life. Maybe it\u2019s overeating; maybe it\u2019s not working out; maybe it\u2019s unhealthy lifestyle\u2014whatever it may be\u2014spending too much. They know something is wrong. They want it out of their life. They make a resolution, meaning they go public with it! They put it on social media; they\u2019ve told everyone\u2019 they throw out half their pantry; [Laughter] they change their wardrobe, or whatever it may be.\r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re kind of describing me right now, John. What\u2019s happening? [Laughter]\r\n\r\nJohn: They make all these macro changes, and two-and-a-half weeks later, on January 19, 90 percent of people have already quit; so much so, they call it National Quitting Day. [Laughter] How funny is that? We make this outcry saying, \u201cI\u2019m done with this. I\u2019m making a huge change! New Year, new me!\u201d and on January 19th, two-and-a-half weeks later, they\u2019ve all quit.\r\n\r\nThey did a follow-up study, because they\u2019re thinking, \u201cWhat is going on? People\r\n\r\nknow something shouldn\u2019t be in their life, they make a declaration, and they return to ittwo-and-a-half weeks later.\u201d Follow-up study revealed, far and away greatest reason:\r\n\r\n\u201cWe don\u2019t have enough will power.\u201d\r\n\r\nThe psychologists and sociologists ascending the mountain of knowledge only to find the theologians already sitting there saying, \u201cOf course you don\u2019t have enough will power.\u201d You don\u2019 have will power over sin\u2019s power. That is the Holy Spirit\u2019s job. It\u2019s not your job to war against sin. You have no ability to fight sin. That is the Spirit\u2019s job! It\u2019s Romans 8:13, where he says: \u201cIf you live according to the flesh, you\u2019ll die,\u201d\u2014\u201cYou do what you want to do, it\u2019s not going to go well; you\u2019ll die [paraphrased],\u201d\u2014\u201cBut\u201d He says, He never leaves us there\u2014I love that about God\u2014He says, \u201cBut if by the Spirit\u2014 \u201d\u2014He is the means\u2014\u201c\u2014you put to death the deeds of the flesh, you\u2019ll live.\u201d [Romans 8:13]\r\n\r\nWe\u2019re told in 1 Peter 1: The Father adopts; [we] are sprinkled, have a cleansing by the Son; and then the Spirit\u2019s job is the Sanctifier, the One who makes us holy. He is the One who takes us from justification all the way through glorification. He gets that big, lifelong job of sanctification; it\u2019s His job. Yet we try, thinking, \u201cI think that\u2019s my job.\u201d No, that\u2019s not your job. You can\u2019t. You don\u2019t have the willpower, the gumption, the white knuckles, the anything. That is the Spirit\u2019s role.  \r\n\r\nThis is really fascinating, too. Owen talks about the negative work of the Spirit. When I first read this, in Mortification of the Flesh, I thought, \u201cWait. What?\u201d \u2018Negative work of the Holy Spirit\u2019; that must be a wrong translation because it\u2019s 400 years old. You just said something way out of bounds. That\u2019s blasphemous. Nothing God does, God the Spirit, is negative.\u201d \r\n\r\nWhat he said is we always focus on the positive work of the Holy Spirit: the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. We\u2019ve got that memorized as a five-year-old, and we have altogether neglected the negative work of the Holy Spirit. The negative work of the Holy Spirit is that He is the Sin Killer; it\u2019s His job!\r\n\r\nWe wrestle, for all our lives, trying to kill sin, and we are getting killed. And our wives, and spouses, and children are looking at us thinking, \u201cDon\u2019t you know this is wrong? Why don\u2019t you just stop?\u201d \u201cJust stop looking at porn!\u201d \u201cJust stop hurting us!\u201d \u201cJust stop being passive,\u201d \u201c\u2026raising your voice,\u201d \u201c\u2026overeating!\u201d \u201cJust stop!\u201d\r\n\r\nWe\u2019re trying, but we can\u2019t, and we fail, because it\u2019s the Spirit\u2019s job. So, what do we do? We\u2019ve got to bring God into the fight.\r\n\r\nAnn: I have\u2014like this eating thing is hard\u2014my numbers\u2014my cholesterol is bad. They\u2019re saying, \u201cHey, if you just stop eating these certain things\u2026,\u201d and I feel more compelled to go to it than ever before.\r\n\r\nJohn: Right; right.\r\n\r\nAnn: I think maybe it\u2019s not a huge addiction, but it\u2019s anything that\u2019s controlling us or ourflesh is controlling us.\r\n\r\nJohn: I think everybody when they hear something like this, they [think]: \u201cOh, my\r\n\r\nnephew needs that,\u201d \u201cMy spouse needs that.\u201d [Laughter] Well, we\u2019ve all got our thing that we run to.\r\n\r\nIn 1 John, the Apostle John writes to the church. The ending of it says: \u201cLittle children,\r\n\r\nkeep yourselves from idols.\u201d [1 John 5:21] Because all of us, daily\u2014as Calvin wrote, \u201cThe heart is an idol factory,\u201d\u2014we\u2019re all going to have these ditches, these things that we run to. Maybe they aren\u2019t as insidious socially, but they\u2019re every bit insidious to\r\n\r\nthe holiness of God. \r\n\r\nSo, as Owen said, \u201cBe killing sin, or it will be killing you.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: How? Because, obviously, there\u2019s part of me saying, \u201cOkay, I have the power of the Holy Spirit. You do\u2014\"\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014the Sin Killer.\r\n\r\nDave: \u201c\u2014the Sin Killer.\u201d I\u2019ve experienced that; and yet, there\u2019s moments of weakness,\r\n\r\nwhere it\u2019s almost like Paul wrote in Philippians, \u201cWork out your salvation in fear and\r\n\r\ntrembling.\u201d There\u2019s part of working\u2014I mean, it\u2019s all done by the blood of Christ in the\r\n\r\npower of the Spirit; but there\u2019s our side.\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: We have to take a step. How do you defeat an eating addiction? You don\u2019t just\r\n\r\nsay, \u201cOh, God did it.\u201d He did!\r\n\r\nJohn: Right.\r\n\r\nDave: But what is my participation? What is my working that out? Tell us how to work it out.\r\n\r\nJohn: When I was freed from alcoholism, probably ten years sober, and married to Laura, we were on a date night. We had not made it two blocks from our house, and we were already in a fight. We\u2019ve got small children, kids screaming, diapers flying. I mean it\u2019s just a mess. Here we are on our date night. We\u2019re going to Chile\u2019s to split a meal, because I\u2019m a pastor, and we go big. [Laughter] \r\n\r\nTwo blocks away, we were sitting at the light at Waterview and Campbell. I was staring through the windshield so angry, and she said, \u201cI just wish we wouldn\u2019t fight for the rest of our lives.\u201d In that moment, I feel like the Lord said to me, \u201cI freed you from alcoholism. I can free you from arguing with your wife if you\u2019ll just ask.\u201d It\u2019s bringing God into the fight.\r\n\r\nI started doing what I did 15 years prior: getting on my knees every day, asking God to\r\n\r\nkeep me sober. But this time, it was: \u201cGod, keep me from fighting with Laura. She\u2019s your daughter; she\u2019s my wife, my sister in Christ. This is not Your will, so free us.\u201d \r\n\r\nThat first year, we probably fought three times, which single people are thinking, \u201cHah! See, it didn\u2019t work.\u201d [Laughter] Married people are saying,\u2014Ann: \u2014oh, yes, \u201cVictory!\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: \u201c\u2014Dream!\u201d\r\n\r\nJohn: \u2014\u201cIt\u2019s a miracle! Oh, my goodness!\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: Three times yesterday, or do you mean three times the whole year?\r\n\r\nJohn: Three times in a whole year, and it was a miracle. Halfway through the year,\r\n\r\nLaura\u2019s said, \u201cHave you noticed we don\u2019t fight anymore?\u201d I hadn\u2019t told her what I wasdoing, that I was seeking daily repentance\u2014which is what it is. It\u2019s not daily sobriety.\r\n\r\nIt is daily repenting; turning from sin by turning towards Christ. I was, daily,\r\n\r\n[praying], \u201cLord, today, by Your strength, don\u2019t let me fight with Laura,\u201d and we didn\u2019t. She said, \u201cThat\u2019s amazing! We haven\u2019t fought.\u201d \r\n\r\nI said, \u201cWell, I need to tell you something.\u201d What\u2019s crazy is, I\u2019m the only one that changed anything. She didn\u2019t change anything, which squarely places the blame on me\u2014\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014wow!\r\n\r\nJohn: \u2014for the fighting.\r\n\r\nAnn: But, John, you did\u2014\r\n\r\nJohn: \u2014but with one spouse\u2019s efforts, look what can happen.\r\n\r\nAnn: And you did it every single day?\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: That\u2019s really big! You\u2019re going to God, asking God to be the Sin Killer in your life.\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: You\u2019re repenting every day.\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes, I don\u2019t believe there\u2019s any other way. I\u2019ve tried, and I fall headlong into sin. There\u2019s just no other way. Right now, it needs to be daily repentance from being short with my kids. That\u2019s the one that\u2019s\u2014with kids that are seven, five and three\u2014I just\u2014man, they own me.\r\n\r\nDave: I don\u2019t want anybody to miss this: you didn\u2019t do what I would probably do. If we\u2019re fighting, and I want God to help us with fighting, I would have said, \u201cGod, change her; change Ann. She can\u2019t see my perspective. She always brings up stuff.\u201d It\u2019s a hard thing to look in the mirror and say, \u201cThis isn\u2019t a \u2018her fault\u2019 problem.\u201d\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: Of course, she\u2019s got her thing; but you said, \u201cGod change me.\u201d\r\n\r\nJohn: Well, there was about seven years of that: \u201cThis woman You gave\r\n\r\nme--!\u201d You know, it\u2019s Adam [about] Eve.\r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJohn: \u201cIt\u2019s her fault.\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cNo.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: What\u2019s your wife\u2019s name?\r\n\r\nJohn: Laura.\r\n\r\nDave: Talk about her role, and anybody\u2019s role, in a person that is\u2014to get back to where we were saying, \u201cOkay, God brought me a partner.\u201d \r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: Some of us have partners; some of us don\u2019t, but we all want a road to victory. The struggle we started with: \u201cI can\u2019t do what I want to do.\u201d We have the Holy Spirit in our lives, but we\u2019ve got to take some steps; so, walk us through the recovery that you\u2019ve been through and that you help others through.\r\n\r\nJohn: I tell people: \u201cIf you want to be forgiven, confess to God. If you want to be healed, confess to others.\u201d It\u2019s 1 John 1:9 and James 5:16. There\u2019s no way around it. For healing\u2019s sake, and this is like super simple: A-C-T\u2014you just ACT. \r\n\r\n\u201cA\u201d is \u201cAsk God.\u201d You bring God into the fight. That\u2019s Romans 8:13, where you, by the power of the Holy Spirit, invite Him into the fight, because He\u2019s the Sin Killer. He\u2019s the One that wars against sin. You just ask Him! Jjust say, \u201cGod, I\u2019m addicted to porn. Will You help me? Will You free me from it?\u201d This is a daily walk with God, of saying, \u201cHey, God, I have a struggle today. Will You free me today?\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: \u2014every day?\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes, ask Him every day, and I recommend you do that in a position of humility\u2014on your knees if you can. If you can\u2019t [because of] physical limitations, raise your hands. My kids, when they come up to me, their hands are up; they\u2019re helpless, especially my three-year-old.\r\n\r\nSomewhere along the way, we stopped doing that. God reminds us, \u201cMen with holy hands lifted high praying.\u201d [1 Timothy 2:8, paraphrased]. You see it all throughout the Psalms. You see people, on their knees, praying. So, I recommend doing that. It just helps. He made us body, mind, and soul. When you engage your body, with where your mind and spirit are, I think it\u2019s really beneficial.\r\n\r\nDave: Now, let me ask you this\u2014\r\n\r\nJohn: \u2014yes, please.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014\u201cHave you ever talked to anybody that said, \u201cI\u2019m too embarrassed,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m too\r\n\r\nunworthy to ask God for help. I\u2019ve failed Him so badly?\u201d I mean, is that ever a problem?\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: Because that\u2019s identity. That\u2019s understanding that they are forgiven, but I thinkthat\u2019s something that, sometimes, we are afraid.\r\n\r\nJohn: That\u2019s a wise pastor asking that question, because I don\u2019t know how many times\r\n\r\nI\u2019ve heard, \u201cBut I\u2019m just not worthy.\u201d\r\n\r\nMy response is: \u201cYou\u2019re not, and God loves [us] so much in our unworthiness. There\u2019s\r\n\r\nnothing we could do to make ourselves worthy. If you wait until you\u2019re worthy, you\u2019re\r\n\r\ngoing to be waiting a really long time.\u201d\r\n\r\nDave: That\u2019s good.\r\n\r\nJohn: \u201cBut He comes to us; that\u2019s His only choice.\u201d\r\n\r\nI tell people this a lot: I say, Jesus in Jericho\u2014what\u2019s He doing there? It\u2019s a God-forsaken city. Joshua says, \u201cWhoever rebuilds this, you\u2019ll do so at the cost of your children.\u201d Then they rebuild it. \r\n\r\nThen Jesus goes to Jericho, and you think, \u201cHe\u2019s about to tell those people what\u2019s up. They shouldn\u2019t have rebuilt their city.\u201d [Laughter] Instead, He goes to the worst person in the whole city. He goes to the chief tax collector. He seeks out the one, of His own people, that should have known better and didn\u2019t. It says he was rich. He [Jesus] just goes to the worst in the worst city.\r\n\r\nWhy? And how does this relate to: \u201cWhat if someone doesn\u2019t feel, \u2018I\u2019m worthy\u2019?\u201d That\u2019s the only kind of person that God can go to is unworthy people in sin! And yet, He does. That\u2019s where Jesus set His sights. He said, \u201cI\u2019ve got to go to Jericho to meet Zacchaeus.\u201d Church history tells us he [Zacchaeus] went on to become the bishop of Caesarea, a pastor over a whole city. \r\n\r\nDave: Right.\r\n\r\nJohn: Unworthiness is actually a really healthy heart condition. Yes, you are altogether unworthy; and He loves you all the more. It\u2019s beautiful.\r\n\r\n\u201cA\u201d is \u201cAsk God to help.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cC\u201d is \u201cCommit.\u201d I think we can often have a reactive confession of sin, thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll tell you if and when my sin gets bad enough, big enough; I\u2019ll bring it into the light, if ever.\u201d\r\n\r\nBut this, now, is a proactive commitment. \r\n\r\nRather than telling you, \u201cIf and when I sin,\u201d I\u2019m going to decide in advance. I\u2019m going to commit\u2014that\u2019s the \u201cC,\u201d commit\u2014for the next 24 hours to not give into my sin, whether that\u2019s food, porn, control, nagging, [or] whatever it may be, giving myself away to guys, passivity. I commit, by God\u2019s strength\u2014that\u2019s really important; that\u2019s the \u201cA\u201d; by God\u2019s strength\u2014for the next 24 hours.\r\n\r\nI\u2019m not going to quit forever. Don\u2019t focus on forever; focus on today, daily bread: \u201cSeek first His kingdom and His righteousness today. Don\u2019t worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow\u2019s got enough worries of its own.\u201d [Matthew 6:33-34] What you\u2019re doing is committing to another person saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to tell Dave.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cHey, Dave, I commit to you, by God\u2019s strength, that I will not be short with my kids for the next 24 hours.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnd now, we\u2019re going to go for the \u201cT\u201d because this is ACT: \u201cAsk God,\u201d \u201cCommit,\u201d and\r\n\r\nthen \u201cT,\u201d \u201cTalk\u201d or \u201cText,\u201d however you want to phrase it. If you want to call\u2014probably not meet in person, that would be a lot of meetings\u2014or text: \u201cI\u2019m going to follow up with you this time tomorrow. I\u2019m going to set an alarm on my phone for 3:15. I\u2019m going to let you know how I did in 24 hours, if I was free from being short, and sharp, and harsh with my kids for the last 24 hours.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnd if I fell, your response is to pray for me\u2014James 5:16. You\u2019re going to say, \u201cHey, man, thank you for confessing. You want to re-up? You want to go another 24 hours?\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cYes, of course. I want to turn from this. Proverbs 28:13, \u2018Whoever conceals a sin will not prosper. Whoever confesses and renounces will find mercy.\u2019 So, yes, I want to fall forward seven times and rise again.\u201d\r\n\r\nOr I call and say, \u201cYes, I was free from being harsh and sharp with my kids.\u201d \r\n\r\n\u201cMan, awesome! Praise God! Let\u2019s thank the Lord. Do you want to go another 24 hours?\u201d\r\n\r\nWe then, start walking daily. Again, this is not some Christian life hack. That\u2019s Hebrews\r\n\r\n3:13, where it says, \u201cEncourage one another daily so that\u2026\u201d Why? Why do we needto encourage each other daily? Isn\u2019t Sunday enough? Isn\u2019t women\u2019s Bible study onWednesday enough?\r\n\r\nNo, every single day! \u201cWhy, God?\u201d \u201c\u2026so that you will not be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.\u201d [Hebrews 3:13] Every single day, you\u2019re going to be hardened by\r\n\r\nsin, unless you have a daily encouragement with a brother or sister in Christ.\r\n\r\nThat ACT: \u201cAsk God,\u201d \u201cCommit for 24 hours\u201d\u2014not for life; for 24 hours. People can\u2019t quitporn for life, or they already would have. When I was struggling with drinking, the doctorwould say, \u201cYou know you need to quit drinking.\u201d I thought, \u201cOh, that\u2019s profound! Brilliant. Thanks for the help.\u201d [Laughter] \u201cYes, of course I know that. I don\u2019t know how.\u201d\r\n\r\nDo it for one day, 24 hours\u2014daily bread. And then, \u201cTalk\/Text\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the ACT\u2014follow up with someone the next day.\r\n\r\nAnn: That requires friendship; it requires accountability.\r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: How do people get that? I\u2019m thinking, especially, sometimes, you feel so isolated;you\u2019re living in so much shame. What would your first steps be in encouraging someoneto find that person or find a few people?\r\n\r\nJohn: I would start with your church. If they say, \u201cI can\u2019t tell my church, because then\r\n\r\nmy church would know.\u201d Well, that\u2019s a whole bigger problem if you can\u2019t tell your church. So, be the first one. If you get mocked because of your sin, then widen the circle, and say to your group\u2019s pastor, whoever it is: \u201cHey, I brought this into the light. It resulted in gossip.\u201d Work through it. Don\u2019t go find another church. Don\u2019t church shop; that\u2019s not right. Be the change; bring health. \r\n\r\nRepentance is a thing that catches fire. God will use it. If you just keep bouncing and running, or \u201cI\u2019ll tell my over-eaters anonymous group,\u201d it\u2019s like, \u201cNo, no; these are scriptural instructions for the church.\u201d\r\n\r\nI would say find a brother or sister in Christ. I would do same gender, just because of\r\n\r\neverything that could happen there. I would say, not with your spouse, just because your spouse may be one of the ones that you\u2019re sinning the greatest against. Walk with\r\n\r\na brother in arms. I think a lot of times, with guys, they\u2019ll just honestly want to unpack their guilt with their wife, and they should. They have sinned against their wife. They need to ask their wife for forgiveness; they have withheld themselves from their spouse as 1 Corinthians 7 says not to. They do need to ask for forgiveness, but I think, sometimes, you need a brother who\u2019s going to exhort you, admonish you, rebuke you, [and] encourage you all the different ways that Scripture instructs.\r\n\r\nAnd for a sister in Christ\u2014it could be spouse for different couples, who are different maturity levels\u2014if a spouse is ready to own mutually. There\u2019s different dynamics\u2014but I\u2019d say a brother or sister in Christ.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes, and I would just\u2014man, it\u2019s been so helpful\u2014because I learned what you said earlier, years ago, and I never understood it: that when you confess to God you receive forgiveness; when you confess to a brother, or a woman confesses to a sister,\r\n\r\nyou receive healing.\r\n\r\nI was always like, \u201cHow are you healed? God\u2019s the healer.\u201d But there\u2019s a healing that happens. Again, we said earlier, when you bring something out of the dark into the light,\r\n\r\nin community with somebody you can trust, the healing starts. Again, it doesn\u2019t mean you never struggle with this again. It\u2019s not: \u201cThis demon is gone,\u201d but it is this beautiful\r\n\r\nstep toward healing. It just shows how God made us to need one another.\r\n\r\nJohn: It\u2019s the body of Christ.\r\n\r\nAnn: Yes, community.\r\n\r\nJohn: It\u2019s 1 Corinthians 12, where he says, \u201cYou can\u2019t say to another part of the body, \u2018I don\u2019t need you.\u2019\u201d [I Corinthians 12:21]\r\n\r\nDave: Exactly.\r\n\r\nJohn: We are all [an] inextricably intertwined temple in which God dwells.\r\n\r\nDave: And I think we play this game thinking, \u201cI\u2019ve confessed it to God. I\u2019m forgiven. I\u2019ve got it,\u201d and then we struggle. \u201cI confessed it to God. I\u2019m forgiven.\u201d It\u2019s like it\u2019s so scary, isn\u2019t it, to tell a brother?\r\n\r\nI\u2019ll never forget the day I told three of my best friends, the year we started our church, that I was struggling with porn. I had no idea, but in that moment, healing started. \r\n\r\nJohn: Yes.\r\n\r\nDave: It was finally out to some people that I was\u2014they were my best friends, and I\u2019m still scared to death to tell them because they don\u2019t know! I thought I would get: \u201cAre you kidding me, dude?!\u201d They all looked at me and said: \u201cThanks for sharing. We will walk with you.\u201d\r\n\r\nHere I am, 30 years later,\u2014John: \u2014that\u2019s so beautiful.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014living a different life because there was healing in that moment, that was continual healing. Again, I would just say, if you\u2019re listening and nobody knows, you\u2019ve got to tell somebody. It isn\u2019t: \u201cSend an email to your pastor,\u201d unless you\u2019re really good friends with him. It\u2019s: \u201cYou need to text or call somebody that you know\u201d\u2014\r\n\r\nJohn: \u2014yes, that you walk with daily.\r\n\r\nDave: \u2014\u201cthat will walk with you; that you can ACT with.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnn: I think one of the things, too, is to get John\u2019s book, Freedom Starts Today.\r\n\r\nDave: Yes.\r\n\r\nAnn: Because it\u2019s a 90-day devotional. We could all read it, honestly, and it would help us. John, thank you for being here. I\u2019m wondering, \u201cWould you just pray for our listeners to close us?\u201d\r\n\r\nJohn: I would love to.\r\n\r\nAnn: I think it would be great.\r\n\r\nJohn:\r\n\r\nFather, thank You so much for brothers and sisters in Christ that you\u2019ve adopted by the blood of Jesus, now indwelt by the Spirit. \r\n\r\nLord, we hate sin. We love You, and yet, we return to that which we hate. \r\n\r\nI ask for freedom. \r\n\r\nI pray, Lord, that You would do what only the Spirit can do\u2014that You would kill sin in us\u2014as we walk together, encouraging one another daily, and that we would take action. As Dave and Ann have rightly said, this isn\u2019t just something we\u2019re listening to as a daily nourishment, but that this would be actionable. You say in your Word, \u201cDo not just be hearers but doers,\u201d so, Lord, may we employ what You have made so clear in the Scripture, to be free from sin. \r\n\r\nLord, may repentance be the root of revival so that, at Your coming, You will find the bride of Christ spotless, without wrinkle or blemish. \r\n\r\nWe love You. In the mighty Name of Jesus,\r\n\r\nAmen.\r\n\r\nAnn: Amen.\r\n\r\nDave: Amen.\r\n\r\nShelby: I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with John Elmore on FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nIt\u2019s been a phenomenally poignant show today and the previous two days that John has been with us. It\u2019s been super helpful for me personally. I hope it\u2019s been helpful for you as well. \r\n\r\nJohn Elmore has written a book called Freedom Starts Today: Overcoming Struggles and Addictions One Day at a Time. This is a powerful message of John\u2019s story overcoming addiction, but then also his story being a reflection of, not only the way that Jesus has worked in his life, but also an opportunity for him to disciple you through his words and help you overcome your struggles and addictions as well. \r\n\r\nIf that\u2019s you, or you know someone who is struggling with addiction, this book can be our gift to you when you partner with us today. You can simply go online to get your copy at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can click on the \u201cDonate Now\u201d button at the top of the page. Or you can give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Or you can feel free to drop us a donation in the mail if you\u2019d like. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, Florida 32832. If you do drop us something in the mail, just make sure you request John Elmore\u2019s Freedom Starts Today. \r\n\r\nIf you know anyone who needs to hear conversations like today\u2019s, would you share it from wherever you get your podcasts? While you\u2019re there, you can help others learn about FamilyLife Today by leaving us a review. \r\n\r\nNow, coming up next week, what are some practical strategies to cope stress and nurture healthy parent-child relationships? Well, Sissy Goff is going to be joining Dave and Ann Wilson to talk about just that. That\u2019s next week. We hope you\u2019ll join us. \r\n\r\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \r\n\r\nFamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife\u00ae, a Cru\u00ae Ministry. \r\n\r\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\r\n\r\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?  \r\n\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2024 FamilyLife. 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