{"id":307876,"date":"2023-10-04T09:15:00","date_gmt":"2023-10-04T13:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/untangling-your-faith-with-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese-2\/"},"modified":"2023-10-04T09:15:00","modified_gmt":"2023-10-04T13:15:00","slug":"untangling-your-faith-with-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/untangling-your-faith-with-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Untangling Your Faith&#8211;with the Questions Jesus Asked: Amberly Neese"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What if your doubts made your faith stronger? Author, speaker, and humorist Amberly Neese explores the questions Jesus asked as a way to reclaim your trust all over again.<\/p>\n<p>What I think is interesting about that is\u2014we teach kids to be like Jesus in so many ways: \u201cThis is how you deal with people,\u201d and \u201cThis is how you handle this,\u201d and \u201cThis is how you do whatever,\u201d\u2014but we rarely give them permission to ask questions and to embrace the power of what those can be. Questions can be holy beginnings of journeys. &#8212; Amberly Neese\u00a0<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tConnect with Amberly Neese on her website: amberlyneese.com or catch her on video talking about Untangling Faith with Amplify Media<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.<br \/>\n \tSee resources from our past podcasts.<br \/>\n \tFind more content and resources on the FamilyLife&#8217;s app!<br \/>\n \tHelp others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What if your doubts made your faith stronger? Author Amberly Neese explores the questions Jesus asked as a way to reclaim your trust all over again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2023-10-04b.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:08","filesize":"39.94M","filesize_raw":"41882658","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[2238],"podcast_series":[8682],"cwp_profile":[3658],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-307876","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-questions-jesus-asked","podcast_series-untangling-your-faith-from-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese","cwp_profile-amberly-neese","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307876\/untangling-your-faith-with-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese-2","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307876\/untangling-your-faith-with-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"E8IQRbb828\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/untangling-your-faith-with-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese-2\/\">Untangling Your Faith&#8211;with the Questions Jesus Asked: Amberly Neese<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/untangling-your-faith-with-the-questions-jesus-asked-amberly-neese-2\/embed\/#?secret=E8IQRbb828\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Untangling Your Faith&#8211;with the Questions Jesus Asked: Amberly Neese&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"E8IQRbb828\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"What if your doubts made your faith stronger? Author Amberly Neese explores the questions Jesus asked as a way to reclaim your trust all over again.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2023-10-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Amberly: <\/strong>I think we all are very familiar with the verse that says \u201c\u2019I know the plans I have for you,\u2019 says the Lord.\u201d But what we don\u2019t think through is, He doesn\u2019t say, \u201cI\u2019m going to let <em>you know <\/em>the plans I have for you,\u201d right? He says, \u201cI know them.\u201d And if we <em>really <\/em>know who He is\u2014if we really spent the time and we\u2019ve invested in fostering a relationship with Him, searching for Him like hidden treasure\u2014if we\u2019ve done those things, then when He says, \u201cI know the plans I have for you,\u201d that\u2019s enough.\n\n<strong>Shelby: <\/strong>Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com or on the FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> app.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Today we get to ask some questions, and there\u2019s <em>nobody <\/em>on the planet who asks better questions than you.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Why would you say that?!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You are the\u2014well, there is one Person who asks better questions than you. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think so!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> His name is Jesus. Seriously, there\u2019s no one like you!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s nice of you.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Whether it\u2019s in an airport with a total stranger, or people in our neighborhood, or friends who come over, you are not about you; you are about them, and you ask good questions. You draw them out.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s one of the reasons we\u2019re so drawn to this Bible study that we\u2019re going to talk about today.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, what is it?\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s called <em>Untangling Faith: Reclaiming Hope in the Questions Jesus Asked, <\/em>and we have Amberly Neese with us today.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes, and I\u2019m so excited to be here; but I wanted to just take a minute: that is <em>high praise <\/em>to say that somebody is a good question-asker.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Isn\u2019t that sweet of him to say?\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> That was very kind. I don\u2019t know how many husband points he gets, but he deserves <em>all <\/em>those points.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He always gets points.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I should get 50! [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Exactly; exactly.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, Amberly, we\u2019re going to talk about <em>Untangling Faith<\/em>. I set that up, because so much of this book is about the questions Jesus asked; but before we get there\u2014\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014you are <em>full <\/em>of humor. You travel the country many weekends a month\u2014\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> I do.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and do what? I know you do humor, but what else?\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> I do women\u2019s retreats; I definitely am a speaker, but I tour with two national tours for comedy: \u201cAspire Women\u2019s Events\u201d and \u201cThe Marriage Date Night Tour.\u201d I\u2019m able to share comedy and laughter with couples and ladies. I <em>love <\/em>doing that. Hopefully, they see Jesus in all of that. I love, love, love to do that. I also love doing women\u2019s retreats and diving into God\u2019s Word with ladies. That\u2019s such a blessing.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you love Bible study. You love teaching it\u2014\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> I do!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014you love digging into the Scriptures.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> I do; I do; I do! And I did not think that was going to be my jam. I mean, I loved God\u2019s Word\u2014but at least, when I was young, the ladies in my life who could do that\u2014I was just like, [singing voice] \u201cAaaaaahhhh!\u201d You know? \u201cThere\u2019s no way I could ever do that!\u201d And fortunately, God uses the ill-equipped and does great things despite them; so I\u2019m excited about that.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Share with our listeners the first time you started <em>teaching<\/em>, because it wasn\u2019t something you were anticipating.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> No! No. When Scott and I were first married, our very first call was two weeks after we got married. We were called to a church in Garden Grove, California. They had\/they wanted to put a woman\u2019s retreat together, and they asked me if I would be willing to do it. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m not sure I\u2019m up for the task.\u201d They said, \u201cThat\u2019s okay. We don\u2019t have anything to pay you, so you\u2019ll be worth whatever we\u2019re going to pay you, which is zippidi-do-dah!\u201d [Laughter]\n\nI <em>loved <\/em>it! I loved diving into God\u2019s Word and looking at a particular topic. I loved, really, doing some deep diving. The whole process was so fantastic! At the end of the weekend, I came home; and I was <em>so <\/em>emotional. It was such a gift! I know that\u2019s shocking. Sometimes, women\u2019s retreats\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\"Give them a little bit of Jesus and a lot of tissues\u201d; because we do have a tendency to get emotional\u2014but I came home, and I was really overwhelmed.\n\nI tried to articulate what I was feeling; and I said [talking as though crying], \u201cYou know, did you ever watch <em>Chariots of Fire<\/em>, when Eric Liddel says, when he runs, he feels God\u2019s pleasure?\u201d My husband said, \u201cYou want to start running?\u201d [Laughter] And I said, \u201cNo! Oh, my goodness! No. Get behind me, Satan. No; that is <em>not <\/em>what I want to do!\u201d But I said, \u201cI felt like I was doing what God wanted me to do. I was in the right place in the universe.\u201d He said, \u201cWell, how can I help?\u201d I said, \u201cI don\u2019t know; I don\u2019t even know where to get started.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How sweet of him to ask that question: \u201cHow can I help?\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That got him some points!\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Oh, a zillion! Zillions of points. [Laughter] I mean, I feel really thankful. I really feel so fortunate that my husband is as clear about my call as I am (and my kids as well). I feel really, really thankful for that.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, why <em>this<\/em> Bible study? When you say: \u201c<em>Reclaiming Hope in the Questions Jesus Asked<\/em>,\u201d\u2014\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\"what does that mean?\u201d\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> I will say this: I have lots of people in my life who are deconstructing their faith. I have lots of friends who are loving their kids and grandkids through jumping off of the faith bus; I mean, they are just really struggling. I wanted to practically look at what that looks like and how to give hope to people when it comes to that.\n\nMost Bible studies that I\u2019ve done: they\u2019re written for the sweet church lady who needs encouragement, hope in her heart, and all those things. But I wanted to write a study for those, who were saying, \u201cI am beseeching the Lord on behalf of somebody who\u2019s struggling,\u201d or \u201c\u2026who\u2019s leaving the faith,\u201d \u201c\u2026who\u2019s struggling in their faith or leaving their faith. I want to have practical tactile things that I can do to provide hope.\u201d\n\nIn all of my studies, I\u2019ve looked from a certain vantage point; and this one is unlike any of them. In this six-week study, every single day is a different question that Jesus asked\u2014not an answer, tied up in a pretty little bow, and everybody\u2019s happy, and there\u2019s a soundtrack that begins\u2014[Laughter]\u2014we don\u2019t break into <em>Oklahoma<\/em> halfway through the study. [Laughter] It is an unpacking of the questions Jesus asked; and Jesus really only answered, straight-out, two questions in the Bible. The rest, He often would respond to a question with a question.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And God did the <em>same<\/em> in the Old Testament!\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Totally! Totally, over <em>300<\/em> questions\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> <em>Yes! <\/em>\n\n<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> \u2014in the New Testament that Jesus asked. What I think is interesting about that is\u2014we teach kids to be like Jesus in so many ways: \u201cThis is how you deal with people,\u201d and \u201cThis is how you handle this,\u201d and \u201cThis is how you do whatever,\u201d\u2014but we <em>rarely<\/em> give them permission to ask questions and to embrace the power of what those can be. Questions can be <em>holy<\/em> beginnings of journeys.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What\u2019s one of the questions that Jesus asked that just tugged at your heart? You\u2019re like: \u201cOh, yes! This is <em>so<\/em> good, that He asked this question.\u201d\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Oh, yes; there are a ton! I loved studying: \u201cWho do you say that I am?\u201d\u2014which sounds silly, especially for those of us who are believers, and know who Jesus is\u2014however, it was really profound for me.\n\nActually, the week that I was writing that particular chapter, I had gone into the dermatologist. My dad died of skin cancer when he was 51. My sister had <em>major<\/em> skin cancer surgery\u2014it looks like she has a shark bite on the back of her leg\u2014when she was in her early 40s. I had gone in\u2014and usually, I have my dermatologist, who\u2019s wonderful, did the scan\u2014but this time, he said, \u201cThere are some places I\u2019m really concerned about.\u201d There were about nine days\u2014for whatever reason, that\u2019s how long it took\u2014and in those nine days, I kept hearing that question: \u201cWell, who do you say that I am?\u201d\n\nYou\u2019d think that they\u2019re unrelated; but \u201cDo I <em>believe<\/em> that He\u2019s Jehovah Jireh?\/Do I <em>believe<\/em> He\u2019s the Provider?\u201d \u201cDo I <em>believe<\/em> He\u2019s the Healer?\u201d \u201cDo I <em>believe<\/em> He is the God who works all things for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose?\u201d \u201cDo I <em>really <\/em>believe?\u201d \u201cWho do you say that I am?\u201d\u2014I would say with my mouth; I mean, goodness knows, I travel the nation, and I tell people that Jesus is Lord, right? And He is!\u2014but when it comes right down to it: when there are questions in my mind; when my mind was riddled with: \u201cYou\u2019re going to have cancer. How are your kids going to respond if you have cancer? What\u2019s going to happen to your husband? What, financially, are you guys going to do?\u201d I mean, I just had this <em>crazy\u2014<\/em>I recognized that, even though I\u2019d been a believer a long time, I still had some unresolved issues when it came to who I <em>really <\/em>say that He is\u2014and not just with my mouth, but with my life\u2014\u201cWhat does my <em>life<\/em> say that He is? Does my <em>life<\/em> say, \u2018Oh, yes! She trusts\u2019?\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What happened with the cancer? What was the diagnosis?\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> The cancer was fine; things were good. There are still things that we need to watch; but more thrilling to me than the diagnosis that things were okay was the journey that I took, in those nine days, of really figuring out and really being honest with God about my areas that I\u2019m still holding onto, thinking I\u2019m in control\/that I\u2019m \u201clarge and in charge,\u201d as we used to say with our kids. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s interesting, because just last spring, I\u2019d had a mole removed. I asked the doctor, \u201cWill you please take this off? I know you\u2019ve said it\u2019s fine in the past, but I would just like you to take it off.\u201d\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We were here recording. We were having lunch with the guests, and I got a call from my doctor. I said, \u201cHey, I\u2019m going to step out; I need to get this.\u201d She said, \u201cHey, that diagnosis showed that you have melanoma.\u201d I remember that night in bed, just asking God: \u201cGod, are You here? Do You see this? I <em>know<\/em> You do! I know You do, Lord. I know spiritually, biblically, theologically, that You are with me; but Lord, sometimes I need to be reminded.\u201d It\u2019s almost like John the Baptist saying,\u2014\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014 \u201cI know You\u2019re the One, but are You the One?\u201d\u2014[that] kind of thing. [Laughing]\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it\u2019s so crazy\u2014because a couple of days later, I went over to talk to my neighbor; because we were going to go out of town\u2014he\u2019s this <em>great<\/em> older man, probably in his 80s. He said, \u201cAnn, Ann!\u201d\u2014he\u2019s Polish\u2014\u201cI need to show you this! Come, come, come!\u201d I said, \u201cWhat\u2019s up?\u201d He said, \u201cI need to show you what happened last night.\u201d I said, \u201cOh, what happened?\u201d He gets out his phone, and he\u2019s trying to find a picture; and he\u2019s having a struggle finding it.\n\nHe said, \u201cLast night, I woke up at three in the morning; and I couldn\u2019t sleep. I look out, and I see your house. I see this angel, or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit.\u201d He goes, \u201cI don\u2019t know what it was, but I took a picture of it.\u201d He goes, \u201cOh, here it is!\u201d And he shows me. I said, \u201cWhat in the world?! Did you photoshop this? What is this?\u201d\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> If he can\u2019t figure out his phone, I don\u2019t think he\u2019s photoshopping; let\u2019s be honest.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He said, \u201c<em>What\u2019s <\/em>photoshopping?\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I said, \u201cWill you send this to me?\u201d And he said, \u201cI don\u2019t know how to do that.\u201d I sent it to myself, and I showed Dave. You know, everybody can say, \u201cWhatever; it\u2019s just the clouds.\u201d But I\u2019m telling you, this thing, to me, was\u2014you guys can say it\u2019s nothing or it\u2019s something, but I\u2019m going to tell you, for <em>me<\/em>\u2014that just was all I needed, like, \u201cHey, Ann. I\u2019m with you. I\u2019m with you in this.\u201d\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cWho do you say that I am?\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cYou are the God Who sees\u201d\u2014\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand hears.\u201d\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, what would your response have been if the melanoma came back not good? I mean, I think I know; but I just, literally, preached the Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego story a couple weeks ago.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, where they say to King Nebuchadnezzar: \u201cWe will <em>not <\/em>bow down to your idol.\u201d\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And \u201cIf you throw us in the fire, our God <em>will<\/em>\u201d\u2014they say \u201cwill\u201d not \u201cmaybe\u201d\u2014they say \u201c\u2026will deliver us.\u201d\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cBut if He does <em>not<\/em>, we still will...\u201d They had that: \u201cHe might not. Maybe His plan is we die and go to heaven; it\u2019s a promotion.\u201d\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got to love that phrase: \u201c\u2026even if He doesn\u2019t, I\u2019m not going to submit [to Nebuchadnezzar\u2019s demands].\u201d Your story turned out well. Do you know what you would have thought if you were sitting here today, and it\u2014\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> It\u2019s super easy for me to say at this point, right?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> But there are times that things <em>don\u2019t<\/em> work out beautifully.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Again, our story includes nine years of infertility. We could get pregnant; we just couldn\u2019t <em>stay<\/em> pregnant. I will tell you that, sometimes, I felt like, \u201cYes! My faith is in a good place\u201d; and then tragedy would strike, and I would realize, \u201cNo; I still have some growing to do.\u201d\n\nI think we all are very familiar with the verse that says, \u201c\u2019I know the plans I have for you,\u2019 says the Lord,\u201d right? But what we don\u2019t think through is\u2014He doesn\u2019t say, \u201cI\u2019m going to let <em>you know <\/em>the plans I have for you,\u201d right?\u2014He says, \u201cI know them.\u201d And if we <em>really <\/em>know who He is\u2014if we really spent the time and we\u2019ve invested in fostering a relationship with Him, searching for Him like hidden treasure\u2014if we\u2019ve done those things, then when He says, \u201cI know the plans I have for you,\u201d that\u2019s enough. We can be satisfied in that, because we\u2019re trusting less in ourselves and trusting more in the character of Who He is.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> I would like to say that I would find joy in all of it.\n\nI got on a flight one time, and there was a lady who was late getting on the flight. She was\u2014I\u2019m a big girl\u2014but she was a big girl, too. She was struggling to make her way through the very narrow aisle, and she was doing whatever. Every time she would bump somebody, she would say, \u201cIt\u2019s all joy. It\u2019s all joy.\u201d [Laughter] \u201cIt\u2019s all joy.\u201d\n\nWouldn\u2019t you know, she sits across from me! I was thinking to myself, \u201cDoesn\u2019t she know the term is, \u2018It\u2019s all good\u2019?\u201d That was when \u201cIt\u2019s all good\u201d was a thing.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Then, the more I thought about it, it\u2019s like, \u201cNo; \u2018Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance.\u2019\u201d She was literally saying, \u201cThis feels like a little trial, but it\u2019s all joy.\u201d\n\nMy hope was that I would respond, even when cancer comes pack positive: \u201cIt\u2019s all joy,\u201d because I know who God is. When He says, \u201cWho do you say that I am?\u201d I can say with confidence, \u201cYou are God, who\u2019s proven Himself so worthwhile.\u201d\n\nI <em>love<\/em> the ministry that you all have to married couples, and I\u2019m going to share my <em>favorite<\/em> marriage tool. Are you ready for this? Here it is\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014Your favorite marriage tool.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> \u2014my favorite marriage tool <em>ever<\/em>, in our 31 years of marriage. I know, for some people\u2014I always think it\u2019s funny when you meet other couples, and there\u2019s a competition\u2014[Laughter]\u2014even with believers, there\u2019s this holy competition: \u201cOh, only 31 years; that\u2019s adorable. We\u2019ve been married 43,\u201d or whatever it happens to be.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Hey, she just said our exact number.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> There you go! I <em>love<\/em> it.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You just got us.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> [It] is an \u201cEbeneezer.\u201d Early in our marriage\u2014you know the Old Testament Ebeneezer, where God would do something great, and He would say, \u201cI want you to build an altar, and I want you to call it \u2018God is great; give Him chocolate cake,\u201d or whatever the Message version says\u2014[Laughter]\u2014anyway, He would say, \u201cI want you to build an altar for this.\u201d And it was a blessing as the people would come and go.\n\nWell, Scott and I\u2014very early on, especially when things were <em>really <\/em>tight financially\u2014we started an Ebeneezer. Now, it didn\u2019t look like the Old Testament thing; it looked like a charger plate that we had gotten for our wedding, that we never used. The charger plate is the one that I always feel like, \u201cThat\u2019s the one I want to eat off of,\u201d\u2014but I want to practice some self-control\u2014\u201cSo we\u2019ll use the smaller plate.\u201d [Laughter] The charger plate, and a hurricane lamp, and a candle, and rocks from the dollar store. Every time God did something great, we would take the rocks from outside the hurricane; we would write on it [the rock], put the date, and then we\u2019d put them inside.\n\nWhat we found is: it was really hard to feel sorry for ourselves when we were able to see God\u2019s hand in every day. At the end of the year, we\u2019d pull it out and say: \u201cOh, this is when you got out of that traffic ticket,\u201d or \u201cThis was when God provided when we didn\u2019t think it was possible.\u201d We would get a deposit for something that we did not even see coming; we just kept looking at the faithfulness of God. [It is] <em>transformative <\/em>for a marriage; because again, it\u2019s really <em>easy, <\/em>as humans, to feel sorry for ourselves or to get self-absorbed. It\u2019s really <em>hard <\/em>to stay self-absorbed when you\u2019re looking at God\u2019s provision every day. In those first couple years of marriage, that\u2019s what it felt like. It literally felt like manna every single day. That\u2019s been huge!\n\nWe\u2019ve done it with our kids, and we\u2019ve done it as a family for years; but for us, it\u2019s been so huge. When God asks us, \u201cWho do you say that I am?\u201d He has proven Himself <em>so <\/em>faithful. Again, even if the bill doesn\u2019t get paid\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> \u2014even if the check doesn\u2019t get signed; even if <em>whatever<\/em>, He\u2019s still God. When He says, \u201cWho do you say that I am?\u201d I can say with confidence, all these years later, \u201cYou are the God who loves me, sees me, works in my best interest; and knows that I am workmanship, because You\u2019ve created me.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and I think it\u2019s interesting\u2014what you\u2019re saying\u2014because you\u2019re talking about that Ebeneezer, being with your husband.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, I was preaching this sermon a few weeks ago on Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; and honestly, I preached something like that 20 years ago. It didn\u2019t hit me until this time that, in that story, you <em>never<\/em> hear of Shadrack, Meshach, or Abednego <em>alone<\/em>. The entire [story], from beginning to end, is they\u2019re always together.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You think, \u201cIs there something to community\u201d\u2014\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Oh, wow!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwhen you\u2019ve got to answer that question, \u2018Who do you say I am?\u2019\u201d\n\nWe already talked about your other project, The Belonging Project.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s all about community. I think when we struggle\u2014like a lot of people who deconstruct or de-convert\u2014they\u2019re often <em>alone<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes, you\u2019re right!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Who\u2019s walking beside them to help answer that question?\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Right!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m struggling right now to remember Who Jesus really is.\u201d\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> That is so good!\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Your spouse, or your child, or a friend, walks beside you and says, \u201cI\u2019ve been there, Dude.\u201d\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s talk and answer these questions together.\u201d That\u2019s so critical!\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> I was going to say I think that is a <em>glorious<\/em> tidbit that the Holy Spirit gave you. That is so good.\n\nThe grocery store that\u2019s closest to us\u2014recently I had some kind of return that I needed to make, [and] I\u2019m not God\u2019s most patient child; I\u2019m just going to be really honest\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I\u2019m waiting in line, and there are like five or six people ahead of me. I found myself making up songs to try to pass the time. [Laughter] I am looking at these items on the side\u2014these impulse items I don\u2019t need. I don\u2019t need another charger, for the love of all that\u2019s holy; I do <em>not<\/em> need it\u2014but I\u2019m looking. I\u2019m just trying to pass the time. I\u2019m scrolling through social media; I\u2019m doing whatever. It seems like forever!\n\nI\u2019m finally <em>one person <\/em>away. There\u2019s one person ahead of me, and I\u2019m starting to\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014get hopeful!\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> [Singing] \u201cOne person, chicka-ding-ding; chicka-chicka-ding-chicka. . .\u201d [Laughter] You know, I\u2019m doing all of the hand motions; I\u2019m going to make it. All of a sudden, I did not hear what the person asked; but the person behind the customer service desk said, \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m not sure; let\u2019s figure it out together.\u201d She <em>leaves<\/em> the booth. I found myself thinking, \u201cNo, no, no, no, no! No, don\u2019t go away!\u201d Then, the more I thought about it, the more I thought, \u201cOh, that\u2019s such a glorious way to look at it. \u2018You know what? I\u2019m not totally sure; let\u2019s figure it out together.\u2019\u201d\n\nI think you\u2019re right! I think when people are struggling spiritually, the most glorious thing that we can say to them\u2014besides \u201cGod is good,\u201d right?\u2014is: \u201cLet\u2019s figure it out together. Let\u2019s journey together.\u201d She could have just pointed her to Aisle 13, but she didn\u2019t. She could have passed her off to somebody else, but she didn\u2019t. She left the comfort of her booth; and she walked alongside this person, who was struggling. I think community is the key. I\u2019m so glad that you got that tidbit from that teaching.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I <em>agree<\/em>!\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> So good.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I even thought, \u201cWould Shadrach have stood by himself? Would Meshach?\u201d I have no idea, but we know they did together.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> I know; I love that!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> There\u2019s something, too, about being in community\u2014even a small group\u2014when you have women of all different ages.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I was in a group, just last week, at a table of ten; and we were just talking. There were a lot of young moms with toddlers. Those are the <em>hardest <\/em>years for your marriage.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes; oh, you bet!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re just <em>dying<\/em> on the vine.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> You\u2019re sleep deprived.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! You\u2019re working, and you just think, \u201cI\u2019m doing everything, as a mom. Why isn\u2019t my husband\u2026\u201d It\u2019s really easy to start looking at the <em>negative<\/em> in your husband and in your life.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes, you bet.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I used to do that. I used to think, \u201cDo I even have a life anymore?\u201d I mean, I would have a pity party; and then I\u2019m the martyr.\n\nAs women were talking about the stages, this one young mom was talking about how hard it is: how her husband doesn\u2019t see her; how her husband doesn\u2019t care. This older woman, who had grandkids, said, \u201cOh, honey! I look at you, and when I look at you, I think, \u2018Wow! This girl\u2019s <em>amazing.<\/em>\u2019\u201dShe just started talking about all these wonderful attributes this young woman had. She said, \u201cI\u2019m watching you, as a mom. You\u2019re pretty incredible! And I\u2019m watching your children. I watched you parent the other day at church; and I thought, \u2018This girl\u2014she\u2019s got it going on!\u2019 And your husband\u2014the way he looks at you\u2014he <em>adores<\/em> you!\u201d\n\nI\u2019m watching this young woman\u2014her whole demeanor started to change\u2014\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> You bet.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014as [she heard] a reminder of all God\u2019s goodness\/the things that she could be thankful for\u2014as you said, the \u201cEbeneezers.\u201d\n\nAlso, sometimes, we can\u2019t see it when we\u2019re in the pit, you know?\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Oh, so true; so true.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Someone else has to point out: \u201cNo, there are some good things in the pit. Look around.\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Yes, exactly!\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love that thought of: \u201cOne God always sees.\u201d To ask Him; tell Him the truth when you\u2019re struggling: \u201cLord, I\u2019m struggling.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Oh, you bet.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cI can\u2019t do this! I don\u2019t know if You see me, and I\u2019m struggling. Put people around me.\u201d And put yourself in positions where women can speak life and hope to you.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> Absolutely! Absolutely, and I know men need it, too.\n\n<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Wow! I\u2019m excited. Amberly is going to tell us what men need that\u2019s different from women in just a second, and I\u2019m looking forward to that. I\u2019m Shelby Abbott, and you\u2019ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Amberly Neese on<em> FamilyLife Today<\/em>.Amberly has created <em>Untangling Faith. <\/em>This is a video-driven small group study about <em>Reclaiming the Hope in the Questions Jesus Asked<\/em>. You can find a copy at FamilyLifeToday.com in the show notes.\n\nAnd while you\u2019re at FamilyLifeToday.com, you can partner with us financially. When you do, we\u2019re going to send you a copy of Brant Hansen\u2019s book called <em>Blessed Are the Misfits. <\/em>Brant was a guest earlier this week. He has put together a book for anyone who feels left out, or [who has] gone through the motions, or even feels like they have more questions than answers. Again, this book is going to be our gift to you when you partner with us financially at FamilyLife. You can go online to FamilyLifeToday.com or give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d And feel free to drop us something in the mail if you\u2019d like. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, FL 32832.\n\nAlright, here\u2019s what men need, according to Amberly Neese.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> I just think it\u2019s interesting that female babies make eye contact three months earlier than their male counterparts. We <em>need<\/em>\u2014oftentimes, when I say to my husband, \u201cAre you listening to me?\u201d, it\u2019s because he\u2019s not making eye contact with me. He\u2019s hearing everything; he can regurgitate <em>verbatim<\/em> what I just said\u2014but I think, \u201cOh, he\u2019s not listening\u201d; because he\u2019s not looking at me.\n\nWomen often connect with each other; we look each other in the eyeballs. Guys\u2014at least, the gentlemen\/my husband, and my son, and our other friends\u2014they connect best when it\u2019s ear to ear: when they\u2019re driving in the car, when they\u2019re working on stuff together, or when they\u2019re doing whatever. They don\u2019t have to have that eyeball-to-eyeball [connection]. I truly believe it\u2019s kind of the superpower of both genders\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Me, too.\n\n<strong>Amberly:<\/strong> \u2014to be able to connect like that. It just looks different for men than it does for women. For us, we don\u2019t need an excuse. If the day ends with a \u201cy,\u201d it\u2019s time to connect, right? [Laughter] Guys need a little bit different motivation; but I\u2019m so thankful for the power of that community that it can provide to encourage one another, for sure.\n\n<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Now, coming up tomorrow, Dave and Ann Wilson are back again with Amberly Neese. She\u2019s going to talk about how practicing biblical community and supporting one another can lead to transformation and growth. That\u2019s coming up tomorrow. We hope you\u2019ll join us.\n\nOn behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Shelby Abbott. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife, a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>ministry.\n\nHelping you pursue the relationships that matter most.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2023 FamilyLife. 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