{"id":307555,"date":"2022-09-03T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-09-03T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/launching-your-kids-well-2\/"},"modified":"2022-09-03T06:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-09-03T10:00:00","slug":"launching-your-kids-well-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/launching-your-kids-well-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Launching Your Kids Well"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What does it take to launch your kids well? Dennis Rainey recounts the story of the first time he dropped a daughter off at college. Alex Chediak explains why parents must be the ones to prepare their kids. Michelle Hill covers the value of independence,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2022-09-03.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:00","filesize":"25.63M","filesize_raw":"26874842","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2833],"tags":[6712,6711,4655],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3158,9536,3097],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-307555","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-character-development","category-godly-legacy","tag-dropping-your-child-off-at-college","tag-launching-your-kids","tag-preparing-your-children","cwp_profile-gary-thomas","cwp_profile-jonathan-pitts","cwp_profile-paul-david-tripp","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307555\/launching-your-kids-well-2","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307555\/launching-your-kids-well-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"YdfojNLjyn\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/launching-your-kids-well-2\/\">Launching Your Kids Well<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/launching-your-kids-well-2\/embed\/#?secret=YdfojNLjyn\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Launching Your Kids Well&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"YdfojNLjyn\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2022-09-03.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2022-09-03.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The first time we took our daughter to college, I was then going to bow and pray over her. I was sobbing so hard, my own daughter had to pray for herself; it was pitiful! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It was awful!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was awful!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014awful! And bless her heart! She said, \u201cWell, I\u2019ll pray.\u201d And we said, \u201cOkay\u201d [sniffling]. And she did; she prayed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, we got in the pick-up\u2014and I\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> forget this\u2014we were driving out of that parking lot. Our daughter is down on the corner\/she was down there, waving goodbye. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, it\u2019s not the end of the world. It is a season that must end and a new season that must begin; and it\u2019s okay to cry; it\u2019s okay to sob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Today, we\u2019re going to talk about preparing your teen for life or, rather, for college. As Dennis Rainey just shared about dropping Ashley off at school, it can be a very emotional time. We\u2019ll have some tips for you and also some help and hope on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>I\u2019m Michelle Hill. When you send your child off to college, they are excited! You\/well, you are remembering the little five-year-old riding their bike for the first time. You\u2019re wondering: \u201cDid I prepare them for the world? I mean, the world is scary! The world can hurt! The world can <em>swallow<\/em> you whole!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember my senior year of high school and the handful of college visits that my dad made with me. There were the applications and the acceptance letters and, then, it was shopping for my dorm room and new clothes. I was a ball of excitement! I remember the drive to the campus, with all of my stuff loaded in the car, and my mom and dad <em>silent<\/em>. I can\u2019t help but wonder if <em>they<\/em> were thinking, \u201cHave we prepared her for life?!\u201d Think about it: there are so many different things that teens need to know before they start college! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview Led by Brian Goins]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong> What advice do you wish that you would have gotten, when you were a senior in high school, pertaining to being on your own? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #1:<\/strong> Well, again, how to do taxes, and car payments, and all that sort of thing; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female #1:<\/strong> Study habits: like I have to take great notes in order to pass tests.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #1:<\/strong> You don\u2019t really learn that in high school; I had to go out and do that myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female #1:<\/strong> Like, in high school, you really didn\u2019t have to take notes like that to pass a test.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #2:<\/strong> How to use Microsoft Excel and stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #3:<\/strong> Learning to write a resume.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female #2:<\/strong> How to resolve conflict in a living situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #3:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t really get to learn that stuff in high school. I wish I had learned how to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female #3:<\/strong> I\u2019ve learned how to cook in the recent years, because I haven\u2019t had anyone to do it for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #2:<\/strong> I haven\u2019t tried Ramen. That\u2019s a stereotype I have <em>not<\/em> succumbed to yet. I hope not to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #4:<\/strong> No one ever died by eating Ramen Noodles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> She was heating Ramen noodles and stuff in her little microwave.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> <em>Ramen noodles<\/em>\/hot water <em>every Sunday night!<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #5:<\/strong> They\u2019ve got beef and chicken!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #3:<\/strong> If all else fails, just get a pack of noodles!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female #4:<\/strong> Instant Noodles! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> [Laughter] Well, there\u2019s a whole lot more to college than just learning how to make the <em>best<\/em> Ramen noodles or learning how to fold your laundry in just the right way\u2014or not to turn your white socks pink\u2014I\u2019ve had that problem before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, today, we\u2019re going to spend some time with a college professor and a few college interns that served, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> this past summer and also a current FamilyLife staff member, who is a recent graduate. We\u2019re just going to talk about college life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlex Chediak wants to help young adults thrive in college and beyond. He\u2019s a college professor\u2014Professor of Engineering and Physics\u2014at California Baptist University. He knows the issues that are impacting students these days, and he\u2019s here to help guide them through and to remind them that college is not high school; and it\u2019s important to go <em>on<\/em> purpose. Here\u2019s Alex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> The heartbeat of college is academics. If it weren\u2019t for academics, why are you there? You know, why are you spending $20\/30,000 a semester\/a year to be part of this experience? It\u2019s really a full-time job; because you\u2019re in class only, maybe, 17 hours a week, but they\u2019re expecting you to do lots of work outside of classes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe rule of thumb is generally two hours out of class for every one hour in class. Well, that wasn\u2019t the rule in high school. In high school, you didn\u2019t have that much homework. If you show up on Monday for 50 minutes, you leave and come back on Wednesday\u2014and you haven\u2019t done anything\u2014you\u2019re two hours behind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> And yet, many freshmen don\u2019t adjust to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay, so let\u2019s say you\u2019re 18; you just started college. You\u2019re looking at the landscape, and you\u2019re thinking: \u201cMom and Dad are <em>hours <\/em>away! I have <em>all<\/em> this time in the world, and I have <em>all<\/em> the freedom to choose what I want to do with it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> I could just get in my car and decide that I wanted to go to Chick-fil-A<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> for lunch. I don\u2019t have to call my mom and say: \u201cHey, Mom! I\u2019m going to go to Chick-fil-A for lunch.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What was that first time? What did that feel like? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> Weird! It was weird. I went: \u201cWait! I don\u2019t need to tell anyone where I\u2019m going! This is completely my own mental decision. This is weird!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I remember a friend of mine calling me on a Tuesday night and saying: \u201cHey! We\u2019re going to the movies. Do you want to go?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, in <em>high school<\/em>, you did not go to the movies on a Tuesday night!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was a school night!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> But your mom and dad aren\u2019t there; right; right; right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But now! I could go to the movies on a <em>Tuesday night!<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014at midnight!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I remember going out and going: \u201cIt\u2019s a Tuesday! I\u2019m at the movies. This is <em>great<\/em>!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right; right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s some discipline that\u2014and I\u2019m trying to think, as a parent: \u201cHow do we help our kids <em>cultivate<\/em> these kinds of disciplines\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cso that, when they\u2019re on their own, some of that may kick back in?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes, you know, in high school, I think part of it is helping them to <em>own<\/em> their decisions and say: \u201cOkay, look. You have a schedule. You have 24 hours\/day, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t7 days\/week. How are you going to balance your workload, your job, your sports?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping them with them some of the skills that I talk about in Chapter 2 there\u2014of making a schedule\u2014and a schedule is not just, \u201cThis is when I\u2019m in class,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is when I\u2019m having dinner with my friends\u2026\u201d which is an important thing to do; \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is when I\u2019m sleeping. I\u2019m going to make sure that I get seven-eight hours of sleep a night\u2026\u201d\u2014you\u2019d be surprised how many students burn out from a lack of sleep;\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is when I\u2019m going to be in the library\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is when I\u2019m going to be studying for my classes\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tCarving all of that out, and then saying to people: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cLook, this is my time that I have for recreation and for fun\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is the time I have for work\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is the time I have for sleep and taking care of my body\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is the time I have to read my Bible, taking care of my soul, going to church\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThese are my priorities\u2026\u201d; in other words, scheduling your priorities; otherwise, the urgent will tyrannize you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a friend\u2014I\u2019ll just call him \u201cBob\u201d\u2014in college. He would sleep four hours a night. He would stay up playing games, or doing homework, or talking to friends. He would go to sleep at 1:00 in the morning; wake up at 5:00 and catch up on all of his homework that he was behind on. He\u2019d do that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Then, come the weekend, he\u2019d sleep, literally, 12\/13 hours a night\u2014he would just absolutely crash out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou would think, Monday morning, he was ready to go, full of energy; right? No; his body had been trained to wake up at 1:00 in the afternoon; so now, on Monday morning, he wakes up\u2014he goes to class\u2014he\u2019s totally irritable and <em>exhausted<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> His body never got to learn a consistency. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I encourage them is: \u201cPick a bedtime\/a reasonable bedtime\u2014a time that allows you some time to enjoy your roommates and your dorm mates\u2014and have some enjoyment\u2014but also get your homework done. Pick it, and keep it; then, wake up at a certain time. Train your body: \u2018Okay, this is work time\u2026\u201d \u201cThis is fun time\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> But even when you\u2019re good at it, it\u2019s hard; because you have to make choices. You could go do something fun; or you could stay home and do Spanish homework, like you know you\u2019re supposed to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> On top of that, the motivation to do the things that you don\u2019t necessarily want to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male:<\/strong> One of the main things they would tell me, when I first started, was to use my time wisely. Like college is different from high school. In high school, you have to be in class from start to finish. In college, you\u2019re not in class all day, so you have a lot of free time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say one lesson that they taught me is: \u201cYou know, outside of class, be productive with your schoolwork\u2014staying on top of things\u2014don\u2019t procrastinate.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, I will never forget the first time I took a test in college. There were questions on the test that we had not talked about in class.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right; because they were in the assigned reading, probably.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I went to the professor and said, \u201cWe never talked about this in class!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right; right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The professor said, \u201cIt was in the reading.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Exactly; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I said, \u201cWe didn\u2019t do that in high school!\u201d There was <em>nothing<\/em> on the test in high school that the teacher hadn\u2019t talked about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right; right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was <em>cheating<\/em> that they could put questions on the test that were from the reading!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You seem like you\u2019re wounded over this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m <em>still<\/em> a little wounded, because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> You\u2019re still a little bitter about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014I did not do so well in that particular class.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, here\u2019s what I hear Alex exhorting parents to do to and to equip their children; and that is: \u201cThey need to have a game plan. They need to go to college <em>on<\/em> purpose, with the <em>end<\/em> in mind.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, they\u2019re 18\/19 years old. They\u2019re not going to have a 100 percent vision at that point; but to simply enter into the discussion around these issues, in advance. Alex,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014isn\u2019t this a part of what parents <em>must <\/em>do with their kids? Because if they <em>don\u2019t<\/em>, then the system of college\u2014with all the free time\/with all the worldviews that they\u2019re going to hear\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014they\u2019re going to be, like I was, a lamb to the slaughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male:<\/strong> College is your choice. If you go out and have fun, knowing you have something due, you\u2019re going to have to live with the result. In high school, it was kind of like [a parent saying], \u201cNo, you\u2019re going to do what you\u2019re supposed to do!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> I had to find my first job in college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> I did not have any experience in retail or fast food, so I didn\u2019t have much on my resume; and I had to find a way to support myself in all of the extra things that I wanted to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> If I wanted to go out to eat with my friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014like Chick-fil-A!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> Yes, like Chick Fila! If I was going to go eat at Chick-fil-A, and not tell my mom because I don\u2019t need to, I\u2019m responsible for feeding myself extra food that I\u2019m not just getting from the cafeteria; so I had to go through the struggle of finding a good job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You don\u2019t just let them go to college; you actually release them <em>toward<\/em> college, or <em>toward<\/em> service, or <em>toward<\/em> their own homes, their own jobs, their own responsibility. This is where you take the psalm\u2014Psalm 127:4\u2014and you take the metaphor of what the psalmist says: \u201cChildren are like arrows in the hand of a warrior.\u201d Well, arrows were not designed to stay in the quiver. They were designed for battle; they were designed to be drawn back by a warrior\/an archer and aimed at a target.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re <em>not<\/em> just letting them go. You\u2019re launching them toward something\u2014on mission\/on assignment\u2014that you\u2019ve been equipping them for, all the way through adolescence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Passing on responsibility and time management\u2014that\u2019s hard! But you also know that, as a parent, you have to learn to let your kids go and that, sometimes, they need to learn on their <em>own<\/em>. They need to learn responsibility the hard way, like Rob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> I turned right on red in the middle of a snowstorm in college. It was 12 at night, the snow was coming down; <em>nobody<\/em> was at the stop sign. The light wouldn\u2019t change. I\u2019m telling you\u2014I think it was broken\u2014so I turned right. The only lights behind me were flashing; he pulled me over; gave me a ticket. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFast-forward: our team is traveling\u2014the basketball team\u2014we are on a two-week tour of Montana and Colorado. I get back on a Friday night late; the bus drops me off at my apartment. At 6:00 a.m. in the morning, there\u2019s a knock at the door. It\u2019s a big, honking policeman: he puts me in cuffs! He cuffs me in my underwear; and then he says: \u201cUm, why don\u2019t you get dressed? We\u2019re going to take you in.\u201d They fingerprint me, take all my change, and I\u2019m behind bars. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had a Saturday night home game. I\u2019m looking out the bars of the jailhouse, and our school is across the street. I\u2019m seeing my coach come in and the players come in [the school] until my sister can come and bail me out when she gets off of work. My sister finally comes; and I tell her: \u201cBefore you come, go to my apartment. I need my uniform and my tennis shoes and everything.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe does\u2014and brings them to me\u2014bails me out of jail. I change into my stuff and run across the street. The game has already started. I run down the court and sit next to the coach. He goes, \u201cWhere have you been?!\u201d\u2014I\u2019m a <em>starter<\/em>. I go: \u201cCoach! Details later.\u201d and he is like, \u201cGet your fanny in the game.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Did he say \u201cfanny\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Yes; something like \u201cfanny.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe moral of that story is: \u201cPay your tickets on time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Sometimes, learning responsibility means paying your tickets on time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, it\u2019s break time. I need to stretch my legs and maybe grab some coffee, because remembering those college days has me just a little bit tired. When we come back, we\u2019re going to continue talking about how to prepare <em>your<\/em> teen for life. Stay tuned! I\u2019ll be back in two minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. So you have spent the last how many years preparing your children for life? But have you prepared them for college and beyond? Yes, I know you\u2019ve given them the phone; and you\u2019ve put your number on speed dial; but have you prepared them, you know, in what they believe and why? Can they defend their faith?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce again, let\u2019s get some advice from Alex Chediak. He\u2019s having an honest dialog about how your students can live out their faith in today\u2019s world. Here\u2019s Alex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> One of the things we hear, as Christians in our culture, is that we\u2019re supposed to be tolerant. What tolerant supposedly means, according to our world, is that: \u201cWhat\u2019s true for you is true for you, and what\u2019s true for me is true for me,\u201d\u2014even if they\u2019re totally contradictory. There is no such thing as absolute truth or objective truth that would somehow have bearing on <em>your<\/em> life and <em>mine<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThink about what the word, \u201ctolerance,\u201d has historically meant\u2014what it has meant is: \u201cBeing tolerant, or gracious, or accepting of somebody who is different from you.\u201d Let\u2019s suppose I have a friend, who is a Muslim. Being tolerant would be saying: \u201cOkay; I think your faith is incorrect. I think Jesus Christ is the way to God; but I\u2019m still going to love you, respect you, be kind toward you, be able to work on my math homework with you; but I still think that you\u2019re wrong, and you, of course, think that I\u2019m wrong.\u201d This is true tolerance\u2014is holding a belief and, yet, not killing other people over it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> What our world says is tolerant is: \u201cNo; you\u2019re not even allowed to <em>think<\/em> I\u2019m wrong! If you think I\u2019m wrong, that\u2019s just true for you; and what\u2019s true for me is true for me.\u201d That\u2019s not tolerance at all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You went to the University of California at Berkley.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were a Christian.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How did <em>you<\/em> survive that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Well, you know, I think it\u2019s just about going there and having the standpoint of: \u201cI am here to grow in my profession but, also, to grow in my faith. I\u2019m going to identify myself with God\u2019s people.\u201d I think finding a good church, identifying yourself as a Christian from day one\u2014saying: \u201cI\u2019m here; I\u2019m a Christian. I\u2019m going to find a church to plug into; and I\u2019m going to find other Christians on campus that I can connect with, and commiserate with, and go through life together with, and just share our common experience with.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, one of the things I think teens hunger for from their parents is honest dialog about the faith and to have their parents share with them, \u201cLook, these are the struggles of young adult life,\u201d\u2014and to be very real and frank with them. They\u2019re more eager to talk with mom and dad than sometimes the mom and dad are. They\u2019re more hungry for their parents\u2019 involvement in those areas of their life than, sometimes, the parents are\u2014[feeling] uncomfortable or bashful about bringing up sensitive topics. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I think just honest dialog about, \u201cHey, these are the things that happen at college.\u201d Perhaps a parent struggled in that area, and they sinned in those ways in college\u2014just be honest\u2014say: \u201cHey, I blew it in this way\u2026and this way\u2026in college,\u201d and \u201cThis is how God has led me out of that. This is what I <em>paid<\/em> for that\u2014these are the consequences that I reaped\u2026\u2014this will not go well for you if you go that way.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, one of the things I did that I thought was really helpful, when I went to Alfred, was I had some Christian friends that I already knew that were there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> It was a small school\u2014only about 2,500\u2014so the number of Christians wasn\u2019t going to be in the thousands, like what you were talking about, Dennis, earlier\u2014but it was 40\/50. I knew 5 or 10 of them before I went. At least, I had the idea, \u201cOkay; these are the people I can get together with, and hang out with, and develop friendships through them, and not feel like I have to be a part of the party scene.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think what you were talking about earlier, Bob, is sometimes a freshman feels like: \u201cHey, if I\u2019m going to ever get to know anybody, I\u2019d better go to the pub. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> \u201cThat\u2019s the only place that is going to\/that\u2019s the only social outlet I possibly have.\u201d Well, that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> the only opportunity. You just have to become <em>aware<\/em> of what the other outlets are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So, Laura, what was some of the best advice that your parents gave <em>you<\/em>, as you were heading off to college, or even <em>during<\/em> college?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> They trained me to prioritize making good friendships in college, so I did. I really pursued getting to know my friends, one on one, as well as in group situations. I\u2019m really thankful for that; because, I mean, I\u2019m only two years out of school; but still, my best friends are from college. I know that that won\u2019t change. We can go a year without seeing each other\u2014or two for some\u2014and I can still pick up the phone and have a conversation with them and feel like we just saw each other yesterday. I\u2019m really thankful for that advice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> Something that I wish would have been conveyed more strongly is the <em>choice<\/em> of friends in that it matters what kind of friends you choose to make and choose to invest yourself in, because it really impacts your character and impacts the way that you live your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> As you envision that kind of conversation now, how would you envision your mom or dad having it with your 17-year-old self?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> I would imagine them making sure that I knew that I needed to get plugged into a church and, probably, plugged into a small group at Belmont, as well; because, while church is a fantastic community, it\u2019s not always the people that go to your university. You want to make sure that you have Christian friends at your university, who can support you, morally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Would you say your spiritual foundation was really solid and locked in before you got to Berkley?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> You know, I think it was. I was a graduate student, as well; so I was a little bit older. It\u2019s not exactly a one-for-one correspondence. I went to an undergraduate school\u2014also a secular school\u2014called Alfred University. There I was\u2014it was a non-Christian school\u2014I was less grounded in my faith at that time; but I was grounded enough to know: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019d better find a church pretty quickly, and I better find other Christians on campus pretty quickly.\u201d If you don\u2019t do those two things within the first couple months, the data is not very promising.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I have to tell you\u2014when I\u2019ve been on college visits with my sons and my daughters over the years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014we walk through the dorms. One of the things I\u2019m looking for on the dorm bulletin boards, as we get the tour of the dorms, are the posters about Bible study going on here, or about campus ministry meeting here,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014or what\u2019s going on. If I don\u2019t see that stuff\u2014and I remember being at one very prestigious university, and walking through the dorms, and seeing <em>nothing <\/em>that indicated anything spiritual\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014I asked our tour guide\/I said, \u201cAre there any campus ministries on this campus?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And she said, \u201cI think there\u2019s one: InterVarsity something\u201d; so I checked online.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I called the head of InterVarsity, and I said, \u201cTell me about what\u2019s going on.\u201d She said, \u201cWell, there are four of us who meet right now, and we\u2019re trying to figure out how to get it bigger.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes; that doesn\u2019t sound promising.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking: \u201cThis is a <em>great <\/em>college! This would be a great place to get a degree from\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut I don\u2019t know how my son or daughter would survive, spiritually, in that kind of an environment.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right. I think, even <em>before<\/em> you choose a college, having a game plan of saying: \u201cI\u2019m going to go to this school; and when I get there, I\u2019m going to consider these churches and these Christian organizations.\u201d Now, with the internet, there\u2019s no reason why that can\u2019t be done in advance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike what Bob was talking about\u2014when you\u2019re looking at a college, you can even know then, \u201cHey, this school has <em>these<\/em> opportunities to grow in my faith\u2026\u201d If the school has <em>nothing<\/em>, then you\u2019re right: \u201cWhy get a world-class education and let your spiritual life shrivel up over four years? That\u2019s not worth it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s Professor Alex Chediak, reminding us, once again, that we need good, solid friends in our lives. We <em>all<\/em> need good friends, but especially our students. They need friends to encourage them, to walk through finals with them, to cry with them; but especially to journey with them in their walk with Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMom and Dad, you\u2019ve done that work that God has asked you to do. If you dedicated or baptized your child, you probably remember pledging to bring up your child in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. You\u2019ve guided them, and protected them, and directed them. Yes, they\u2019ll still need you to guide and guard and direct; it will just look differently. Whether they voice appreciation or not, it\u2019s worth it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> When I need to cry, or when I have issues, or if I just need to talk to someone about something that\u2019s going on in my life, I can call my mom. Ninety percent of the time, she picks up within the first three rings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> Yes; I think I would say, \u201cThank you for everything.\u201d I\u2019ve always known my parents are there for me over their ministry. I knew that I was like their number-one priority. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male:<\/strong> With my parents being\u2014with me, still staying with my parents, I can use them as\u2014they can help me out with a lot of stuff that y\u2019all probably won\u2019t be able to get help out with; but my parents also challenge me, which makes me better. I appreciate it. I like having a challenge. I appreciate them kind of laying off and letting me figure it out on certain things but, also, being there to help me with things I can\u2019t figure out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> I just so appreciate that they are always willing to pray for me, and never stop telling me that they love me, and that they were very invested in what I was doing\u2014and not just in what grades I was earning\u2014they really wanted to get to know my friends. They were curious about <em>all<\/em> of my experiences\u2014and were interested\/were proud of me\u2014and they reminded me of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Next week, we are going to dive into the waters of prayer and liturgy and learn the aspect of slowing down to hear from God. Songwriter and author, Douglas McKelvey, joins me. I hope you can join us for that; it will be a <em>great<\/em> time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for listening. I want to thank the president of FamilyLife, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Bruce Goff. Thanks to our producers, Marques Holt and Bruce Goff. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:00"],"show_notes":[""],"filesize":["25.63M"],"filesize_raw":["26874842"],"ssp_guid":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/launching-your-kids-well-2\/"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-307555.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-307555.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px 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does it take to launch your kids well? Dennis Rainey recounts the story of the first time he dropped a daughter off at college. Alex Chediak explains why parents must be the ones to prepare their kids. Michelle Hill covers the value of independence,","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2022-09-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The first time we took our daughter to college, I was then going to bow and pray over her. I was sobbing so hard, my own daughter had to pray for herself; it was pitiful! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It was awful!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was awful!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014awful! And bless her heart! She said, \u201cWell, I\u2019ll pray.\u201d And we said, \u201cOkay\u201d [sniffling]. And she did; she prayed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, we got in the pick-up\u2014and I\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> forget this\u2014we were driving out of that parking lot. Our daughter is down on the corner\/she was down there, waving goodbye. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, it\u2019s not the end of the world. It is a season that must end and a new season that must begin; and it\u2019s okay to cry; it\u2019s okay to sob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Today, we\u2019re going to talk about preparing your teen for life or, rather, for college. As Dennis Rainey just shared about dropping Ashley off at school, it can be a very emotional time. We\u2019ll have some tips for you and also some help and hope on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>I\u2019m Michelle Hill. When you send your child off to college, they are excited! You\/well, you are remembering the little five-year-old riding their bike for the first time. You\u2019re wondering: \u201cDid I prepare them for the world? I mean, the world is scary! The world can hurt! The world can <em>swallow<\/em> you whole!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember my senior year of high school and the handful of college visits that my dad made with me. There were the applications and the acceptance letters and, then, it was shopping for my dorm room and new clothes. I was a ball of excitement! I remember the drive to the campus, with all of my stuff loaded in the car, and my mom and dad <em>silent<\/em>. I can\u2019t help but wonder if <em>they<\/em> were thinking, \u201cHave we prepared her for life?!\u201d Think about it: there are so many different things that teens need to know before they start college! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview Led by Brian Goins]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong> What advice do you wish that you would have gotten, when you were a senior in high school, pertaining to being on your own? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #1:<\/strong> Well, again, how to do taxes, and car payments, and all that sort of thing; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female #1:<\/strong> Study habits: like I have to take great notes in order to pass tests.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #1:<\/strong> You don\u2019t really learn that in high school; I had to go out and do that myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female #1:<\/strong> Like, in high school, you really didn\u2019t have to take notes like that to pass a test.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #2:<\/strong> How to use Microsoft Excel and stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #3:<\/strong> Learning to write a resume.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female #2:<\/strong> How to resolve conflict in a living situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #3:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t really get to learn that stuff in high school. I wish I had learned how to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female #3:<\/strong> I\u2019ve learned how to cook in the recent years, because I haven\u2019t had anyone to do it for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #2:<\/strong> I haven\u2019t tried Ramen. That\u2019s a stereotype I have <em>not<\/em> succumbed to yet. I hope not to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #4:<\/strong> No one ever died by eating Ramen Noodles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> She was heating Ramen noodles and stuff in her little microwave.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> <em>Ramen noodles<\/em>\/hot water <em>every Sunday night!<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #5:<\/strong> They\u2019ve got beef and chicken!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male #3:<\/strong> If all else fails, just get a pack of noodles!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female #4:<\/strong> Instant Noodles! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> [Laughter] Well, there\u2019s a whole lot more to college than just learning how to make the <em>best<\/em> Ramen noodles or learning how to fold your laundry in just the right way\u2014or not to turn your white socks pink\u2014I\u2019ve had that problem before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, today, we\u2019re going to spend some time with a college professor and a few college interns that served, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> this past summer and also a current FamilyLife staff member, who is a recent graduate. We\u2019re just going to talk about college life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlex Chediak wants to help young adults thrive in college and beyond. He\u2019s a college professor\u2014Professor of Engineering and Physics\u2014at California Baptist University. He knows the issues that are impacting students these days, and he\u2019s here to help guide them through and to remind them that college is not high school; and it\u2019s important to go <em>on<\/em> purpose. Here\u2019s Alex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> The heartbeat of college is academics. If it weren\u2019t for academics, why are you there? You know, why are you spending $20\/30,000 a semester\/a year to be part of this experience? It\u2019s really a full-time job; because you\u2019re in class only, maybe, 17 hours a week, but they\u2019re expecting you to do lots of work outside of classes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe rule of thumb is generally two hours out of class for every one hour in class. Well, that wasn\u2019t the rule in high school. In high school, you didn\u2019t have that much homework. If you show up on Monday for 50 minutes, you leave and come back on Wednesday\u2014and you haven\u2019t done anything\u2014you\u2019re two hours behind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> And yet, many freshmen don\u2019t adjust to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay, so let\u2019s say you\u2019re 18; you just started college. You\u2019re looking at the landscape, and you\u2019re thinking: \u201cMom and Dad are <em>hours <\/em>away! I have <em>all<\/em> this time in the world, and I have <em>all<\/em> the freedom to choose what I want to do with it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> I could just get in my car and decide that I wanted to go to Chick-fil-A<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> for lunch. I don\u2019t have to call my mom and say: \u201cHey, Mom! I\u2019m going to go to Chick-fil-A for lunch.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What was that first time? What did that feel like? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> Weird! It was weird. I went: \u201cWait! I don\u2019t need to tell anyone where I\u2019m going! This is completely my own mental decision. This is weird!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I remember a friend of mine calling me on a Tuesday night and saying: \u201cHey! We\u2019re going to the movies. Do you want to go?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, in <em>high school<\/em>, you did not go to the movies on a Tuesday night!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was a school night!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> But your mom and dad aren\u2019t there; right; right; right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But now! I could go to the movies on a <em>Tuesday night!<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014at midnight!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I remember going out and going: \u201cIt\u2019s a Tuesday! I\u2019m at the movies. This is <em>great<\/em>!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right; right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s some discipline that\u2014and I\u2019m trying to think, as a parent: \u201cHow do we help our kids <em>cultivate<\/em> these kinds of disciplines\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cso that, when they\u2019re on their own, some of that may kick back in?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes, you know, in high school, I think part of it is helping them to <em>own<\/em> their decisions and say: \u201cOkay, look. You have a schedule. You have 24 hours\/day, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t7 days\/week. How are you going to balance your workload, your job, your sports?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping them with them some of the skills that I talk about in Chapter 2 there\u2014of making a schedule\u2014and a schedule is not just, \u201cThis is when I\u2019m in class,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is when I\u2019m having dinner with my friends\u2026\u201d which is an important thing to do; \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is when I\u2019m sleeping. I\u2019m going to make sure that I get seven-eight hours of sleep a night\u2026\u201d\u2014you\u2019d be surprised how many students burn out from a lack of sleep;\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is when I\u2019m going to be in the library\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is when I\u2019m going to be studying for my classes\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\tCarving all of that out, and then saying to people: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ul><li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cLook, this is my time that I have for recreation and for fun\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is the time I have for work\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is the time I have for sleep and taking care of my body\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is the time I have to read my Bible, taking care of my soul, going to church\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ul><p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThese are my priorities\u2026\u201d; in other words, scheduling your priorities; otherwise, the urgent will tyrannize you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a friend\u2014I\u2019ll just call him \u201cBob\u201d\u2014in college. He would sleep four hours a night. He would stay up playing games, or doing homework, or talking to friends. He would go to sleep at 1:00 in the morning; wake up at 5:00 and catch up on all of his homework that he was behind on. He\u2019d do that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Then, come the weekend, he\u2019d sleep, literally, 12\/13 hours a night\u2014he would just absolutely crash out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou would think, Monday morning, he was ready to go, full of energy; right? No; his body had been trained to wake up at 1:00 in the afternoon; so now, on Monday morning, he wakes up\u2014he goes to class\u2014he\u2019s totally irritable and <em>exhausted<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> His body never got to learn a consistency. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I encourage them is: \u201cPick a bedtime\/a reasonable bedtime\u2014a time that allows you some time to enjoy your roommates and your dorm mates\u2014and have some enjoyment\u2014but also get your homework done. Pick it, and keep it; then, wake up at a certain time. Train your body: \u2018Okay, this is work time\u2026\u201d \u201cThis is fun time\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> But even when you\u2019re good at it, it\u2019s hard; because you have to make choices. You could go do something fun; or you could stay home and do Spanish homework, like you know you\u2019re supposed to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> On top of that, the motivation to do the things that you don\u2019t necessarily want to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male:<\/strong> One of the main things they would tell me, when I first started, was to use my time wisely. Like college is different from high school. In high school, you have to be in class from start to finish. In college, you\u2019re not in class all day, so you have a lot of free time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say one lesson that they taught me is: \u201cYou know, outside of class, be productive with your schoolwork\u2014staying on top of things\u2014don\u2019t procrastinate.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, I will never forget the first time I took a test in college. There were questions on the test that we had not talked about in class.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right; because they were in the assigned reading, probably.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I went to the professor and said, \u201cWe never talked about this in class!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right; right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The professor said, \u201cIt was in the reading.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Exactly; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I said, \u201cWe didn\u2019t do that in high school!\u201d There was <em>nothing<\/em> on the test in high school that the teacher hadn\u2019t talked about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right; right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was <em>cheating<\/em> that they could put questions on the test that were from the reading!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You seem like you\u2019re wounded over this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m <em>still<\/em> a little wounded, because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> You\u2019re still a little bitter about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014I did not do so well in that particular class.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, here\u2019s what I hear Alex exhorting parents to do to and to equip their children; and that is: \u201cThey need to have a game plan. They need to go to college <em>on<\/em> purpose, with the <em>end<\/em> in mind.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, they\u2019re 18\/19 years old. They\u2019re not going to have a 100 percent vision at that point; but to simply enter into the discussion around these issues, in advance. Alex,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014isn\u2019t this a part of what parents <em>must <\/em>do with their kids? Because if they <em>don\u2019t<\/em>, then the system of college\u2014with all the free time\/with all the worldviews that they\u2019re going to hear\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014they\u2019re going to be, like I was, a lamb to the slaughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male:<\/strong> College is your choice. If you go out and have fun, knowing you have something due, you\u2019re going to have to live with the result. In high school, it was kind of like [a parent saying], \u201cNo, you\u2019re going to do what you\u2019re supposed to do!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> I had to find my first job in college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> I did not have any experience in retail or fast food, so I didn\u2019t have much on my resume; and I had to find a way to support myself in all of the extra things that I wanted to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> If I wanted to go out to eat with my friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014like Chick-fil-A!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> Yes, like Chick Fila! If I was going to go eat at Chick-fil-A, and not tell my mom because I don\u2019t need to, I\u2019m responsible for feeding myself extra food that I\u2019m not just getting from the cafeteria; so I had to go through the struggle of finding a good job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You don\u2019t just let them go to college; you actually release them <em>toward<\/em> college, or <em>toward<\/em> service, or <em>toward<\/em> their own homes, their own jobs, their own responsibility. This is where you take the psalm\u2014Psalm 127:4\u2014and you take the metaphor of what the psalmist says: \u201cChildren are like arrows in the hand of a warrior.\u201d Well, arrows were not designed to stay in the quiver. They were designed for battle; they were designed to be drawn back by a warrior\/an archer and aimed at a target.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re <em>not<\/em> just letting them go. You\u2019re launching them toward something\u2014on mission\/on assignment\u2014that you\u2019ve been equipping them for, all the way through adolescence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Passing on responsibility and time management\u2014that\u2019s hard! But you also know that, as a parent, you have to learn to let your kids go and that, sometimes, they need to learn on their <em>own<\/em>. They need to learn responsibility the hard way, like Rob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> I turned right on red in the middle of a snowstorm in college. It was 12 at night, the snow was coming down; <em>nobody<\/em> was at the stop sign. The light wouldn\u2019t change. I\u2019m telling you\u2014I think it was broken\u2014so I turned right. The only lights behind me were flashing; he pulled me over; gave me a ticket. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFast-forward: our team is traveling\u2014the basketball team\u2014we are on a two-week tour of Montana and Colorado. I get back on a Friday night late; the bus drops me off at my apartment. At 6:00 a.m. in the morning, there\u2019s a knock at the door. It\u2019s a big, honking policeman: he puts me in cuffs! He cuffs me in my underwear; and then he says: \u201cUm, why don\u2019t you get dressed? We\u2019re going to take you in.\u201d They fingerprint me, take all my change, and I\u2019m behind bars. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had a Saturday night home game. I\u2019m looking out the bars of the jailhouse, and our school is across the street. I\u2019m seeing my coach come in and the players come in [the school] until my sister can come and bail me out when she gets off of work. My sister finally comes; and I tell her: \u201cBefore you come, go to my apartment. I need my uniform and my tennis shoes and everything.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe does\u2014and brings them to me\u2014bails me out of jail. I change into my stuff and run across the street. The game has already started. I run down the court and sit next to the coach. He goes, \u201cWhere have you been?!\u201d\u2014I\u2019m a <em>starter<\/em>. I go: \u201cCoach! Details later.\u201d and he is like, \u201cGet your fanny in the game.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Did he say \u201cfanny\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Yes; something like \u201cfanny.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe moral of that story is: \u201cPay your tickets on time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Sometimes, learning responsibility means paying your tickets on time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, it\u2019s break time. I need to stretch my legs and maybe grab some coffee, because remembering those college days has me just a little bit tired. When we come back, we\u2019re going to continue talking about how to prepare <em>your<\/em> teen for life. Stay tuned! I\u2019ll be back in two minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. So you have spent the last how many years preparing your children for life? But have you prepared them for college and beyond? Yes, I know you\u2019ve given them the phone; and you\u2019ve put your number on speed dial; but have you prepared them, you know, in what they believe and why? Can they defend their faith?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce again, let\u2019s get some advice from Alex Chediak. He\u2019s having an honest dialog about how your students can live out their faith in today\u2019s world. Here\u2019s Alex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> One of the things we hear, as Christians in our culture, is that we\u2019re supposed to be tolerant. What tolerant supposedly means, according to our world, is that: \u201cWhat\u2019s true for you is true for you, and what\u2019s true for me is true for me,\u201d\u2014even if they\u2019re totally contradictory. There is no such thing as absolute truth or objective truth that would somehow have bearing on <em>your<\/em> life and <em>mine<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThink about what the word, \u201ctolerance,\u201d has historically meant\u2014what it has meant is: \u201cBeing tolerant, or gracious, or accepting of somebody who is different from you.\u201d Let\u2019s suppose I have a friend, who is a Muslim. Being tolerant would be saying: \u201cOkay; I think your faith is incorrect. I think Jesus Christ is the way to God; but I\u2019m still going to love you, respect you, be kind toward you, be able to work on my math homework with you; but I still think that you\u2019re wrong, and you, of course, think that I\u2019m wrong.\u201d This is true tolerance\u2014is holding a belief and, yet, not killing other people over it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> What our world says is tolerant is: \u201cNo; you\u2019re not even allowed to <em>think<\/em> I\u2019m wrong! If you think I\u2019m wrong, that\u2019s just true for you; and what\u2019s true for me is true for me.\u201d That\u2019s not tolerance at all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You went to the University of California at Berkley.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were a Christian.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How did <em>you<\/em> survive that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Well, you know, I think it\u2019s just about going there and having the standpoint of: \u201cI am here to grow in my profession but, also, to grow in my faith. I\u2019m going to identify myself with God\u2019s people.\u201d I think finding a good church, identifying yourself as a Christian from day one\u2014saying: \u201cI\u2019m here; I\u2019m a Christian. I\u2019m going to find a church to plug into; and I\u2019m going to find other Christians on campus that I can connect with, and commiserate with, and go through life together with, and just share our common experience with.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, one of the things I think teens hunger for from their parents is honest dialog about the faith and to have their parents share with them, \u201cLook, these are the struggles of young adult life,\u201d\u2014and to be very real and frank with them. They\u2019re more eager to talk with mom and dad than sometimes the mom and dad are. They\u2019re more hungry for their parents\u2019 involvement in those areas of their life than, sometimes, the parents are\u2014[feeling] uncomfortable or bashful about bringing up sensitive topics. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I think just honest dialog about, \u201cHey, these are the things that happen at college.\u201d Perhaps a parent struggled in that area, and they sinned in those ways in college\u2014just be honest\u2014say: \u201cHey, I blew it in this way\u2026and this way\u2026in college,\u201d and \u201cThis is how God has led me out of that. This is what I <em>paid<\/em> for that\u2014these are the consequences that I reaped\u2026\u2014this will not go well for you if you go that way.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, one of the things I did that I thought was really helpful, when I went to Alfred, was I had some Christian friends that I already knew that were there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> It was a small school\u2014only about 2,500\u2014so the number of Christians wasn\u2019t going to be in the thousands, like what you were talking about, Dennis, earlier\u2014but it was 40\/50. I knew 5 or 10 of them before I went. At least, I had the idea, \u201cOkay; these are the people I can get together with, and hang out with, and develop friendships through them, and not feel like I have to be a part of the party scene.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think what you were talking about earlier, Bob, is sometimes a freshman feels like: \u201cHey, if I\u2019m going to ever get to know anybody, I\u2019d better go to the pub. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> \u201cThat\u2019s the only place that is going to\/that\u2019s the only social outlet I possibly have.\u201d Well, that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> the only opportunity. You just have to become <em>aware<\/em> of what the other outlets are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So, Laura, what was some of the best advice that your parents gave <em>you<\/em>, as you were heading off to college, or even <em>during<\/em> college?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> They trained me to prioritize making good friendships in college, so I did. I really pursued getting to know my friends, one on one, as well as in group situations. I\u2019m really thankful for that; because, I mean, I\u2019m only two years out of school; but still, my best friends are from college. I know that that won\u2019t change. We can go a year without seeing each other\u2014or two for some\u2014and I can still pick up the phone and have a conversation with them and feel like we just saw each other yesterday. I\u2019m really thankful for that advice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> Something that I wish would have been conveyed more strongly is the <em>choice<\/em> of friends in that it matters what kind of friends you choose to make and choose to invest yourself in, because it really impacts your character and impacts the way that you live your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> As you envision that kind of conversation now, how would you envision your mom or dad having it with your 17-year-old self?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> I would imagine them making sure that I knew that I needed to get plugged into a church and, probably, plugged into a small group at Belmont, as well; because, while church is a fantastic community, it\u2019s not always the people that go to your university. You want to make sure that you have Christian friends at your university, who can support you, morally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Would you say your spiritual foundation was really solid and locked in before you got to Berkley?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> You know, I think it was. I was a graduate student, as well; so I was a little bit older. It\u2019s not exactly a one-for-one correspondence. I went to an undergraduate school\u2014also a secular school\u2014called Alfred University. There I was\u2014it was a non-Christian school\u2014I was less grounded in my faith at that time; but I was grounded enough to know: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019d better find a church pretty quickly, and I better find other Christians on campus pretty quickly.\u201d If you don\u2019t do those two things within the first couple months, the data is not very promising.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I have to tell you\u2014when I\u2019ve been on college visits with my sons and my daughters over the years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014we walk through the dorms. One of the things I\u2019m looking for on the dorm bulletin boards, as we get the tour of the dorms, are the posters about Bible study going on here, or about campus ministry meeting here,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014or what\u2019s going on. If I don\u2019t see that stuff\u2014and I remember being at one very prestigious university, and walking through the dorms, and seeing <em>nothing <\/em>that indicated anything spiritual\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014I asked our tour guide\/I said, \u201cAre there any campus ministries on this campus?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And she said, \u201cI think there\u2019s one: InterVarsity something\u201d; so I checked online.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I called the head of InterVarsity, and I said, \u201cTell me about what\u2019s going on.\u201d She said, \u201cWell, there are four of us who meet right now, and we\u2019re trying to figure out how to get it bigger.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes; that doesn\u2019t sound promising.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking: \u201cThis is a <em>great <\/em>college! This would be a great place to get a degree from\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut I don\u2019t know how my son or daughter would survive, spiritually, in that kind of an environment.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right. I think, even <em>before<\/em> you choose a college, having a game plan of saying: \u201cI\u2019m going to go to this school; and when I get there, I\u2019m going to consider these churches and these Christian organizations.\u201d Now, with the internet, there\u2019s no reason why that can\u2019t be done in advance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike what Bob was talking about\u2014when you\u2019re looking at a college, you can even know then, \u201cHey, this school has <em>these<\/em> opportunities to grow in my faith\u2026\u201d If the school has <em>nothing<\/em>, then you\u2019re right: \u201cWhy get a world-class education and let your spiritual life shrivel up over four years? That\u2019s not worth it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s Professor Alex Chediak, reminding us, once again, that we need good, solid friends in our lives. We <em>all<\/em> need good friends, but especially our students. They need friends to encourage them, to walk through finals with them, to cry with them; but especially to journey with them in their walk with Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMom and Dad, you\u2019ve done that work that God has asked you to do. If you dedicated or baptized your child, you probably remember pledging to bring up your child in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. You\u2019ve guided them, and protected them, and directed them. Yes, they\u2019ll still need you to guide and guard and direct; it will just look differently. Whether they voice appreciation or not, it\u2019s worth it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> When I need to cry, or when I have issues, or if I just need to talk to someone about something that\u2019s going on in my life, I can call my mom. Ninety percent of the time, she picks up within the first three rings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> Yes; I think I would say, \u201cThank you for everything.\u201d I\u2019ve always known my parents are there for me over their ministry. I knew that I was like their number-one priority. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male:<\/strong> With my parents being\u2014with me, still staying with my parents, I can use them as\u2014they can help me out with a lot of stuff that y\u2019all probably won\u2019t be able to get help out with; but my parents also challenge me, which makes me better. I appreciate it. I like having a challenge. I appreciate them kind of laying off and letting me figure it out on certain things but, also, being there to help me with things I can\u2019t figure out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> I just so appreciate that they are always willing to pray for me, and never stop telling me that they love me, and that they were very invested in what I was doing\u2014and not just in what grades I was earning\u2014they really wanted to get to know my friends. They were curious about <em>all<\/em> of my experiences\u2014and were interested\/were proud of me\u2014and they reminded me of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Next week, we are going to dive into the waters of prayer and liturgy and learn the aspect of slowing down to hear from God. Songwriter and author, Douglas McKelvey, joins me. I hope you can join us for that; it will be a <em>great<\/em> time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for listening. I want to thank the president of FamilyLife, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Bruce Goff. Thanks to our producers, Marques Holt and Bruce Goff. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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