{"id":307518,"date":"2022-06-25T08:02:06","date_gmt":"2022-06-25T12:02:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/intentional-summers-2\/"},"modified":"2022-06-25T08:02:06","modified_gmt":"2022-06-25T12:02:06","slug":"intentional-summers-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/intentional-summers-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Intentional Summers"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Summertime feels like freedom to kids out of school. But a working mom&#8217;s perspective is a bit different. Tracy Lane describes how she plans to make meaningful memories with her children this summer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2022-06-25.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.63M","filesize_raw":"26874564","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2891,2838],"tags":[6496],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3259],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-307518","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-making-memories","category-mothers","tag-working-mom","cwp_profile-tracy-lane","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/307518\/intentional-summers-2","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/307518\/intentional-summers-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"FfKhIIibOg\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/intentional-summers-2\/\">Intentional Summers<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/intentional-summers-2\/embed\/#?secret=FfKhIIibOg\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Intentional Summers&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"FfKhIIibOg\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2022-06-25.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2022-06-25.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Moms and dads\u2014you live a busy life\u2014you're busy driving from here to there, waiting in the carpool line, talking on the phone, making a business deal. Well, your kids are watching you. They're watching you live out that hectic life, so what are you teaching them about relaxation? Here's Tracy Lane.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I think we've trained our kids to feel that need to respond\/to be busy. During the school year, they\u2019re like ultra-programmed. Yes; we have to <em>plan<\/em> to give ourselves the freedom and to teach our kids to <em>enjoy<\/em> the freedom of relaxation. I don't think that, in our generation and in our culture today, it's something that we naturally go to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So why don't you grab those flip-flops, pour some Kool Aid<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> in that ice cold water bottle, and head outside? We're going to talk about how to relax and share an intentional summer with our kids on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. Well, it is mid-summer for some, so, you know, those lazy, hazy days of summer are in full swing. Many homes have popsicles packed in their freezer, and the sprinklers are hooked up to the hose; the sidewalks are covered with chalk, and your kids are <em>bored<\/em>\u2014or maybe, they're not\u2014I don't know. What does it look like in your house?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the question is: \u201cHow do you bridle all this endless energy that your kids have from the sun and the Vitamin D? How do you turn that into something worthwhile?\u201d I was talking to a grandmother the other day. During the school break for summer, she has her granddaughters; and she's asking these questions: \u201cJust what does our summer need to look like? We've already had half the summer, but is that really how we're supposed to be spending our time together?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that she's not the only one that has those questions. <em>You<\/em> might be having those questions, too; so I turned to my friend and co-worker, Tracy Lane. Tracy's a writer, here at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. She's married to Matt, and she has two girls: six-year-old, Audrey and four-year-old, Annie. She's had to wrestle with these questions of: \u201cHow do I make my summer count?\u201d She's in the thick of things <em>right now. W<\/em>e had a conversation about relaxing in the summertime and how to make it count.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Talk to us about what you're planning to do for activities this summer or even how you frame your mind around, I guess, how not to waste time in the summer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; so I have struggled a little bit as a working mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Because the very first feeling about summer is: \u201cUgh! My kids!\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cWhat am I going to do when I have this meeting?\u201d or \u201c\u2026when I have this deadline?\u201d and \u201cThey're going to be there, bothering me!\u201d [Laughter] And how <em>terrible<\/em> is that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I <em>love<\/em> how you're so real about\/just like, \u201cIt's about <em>me<\/em>!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cThey're going to be there, bothering <em>me<\/em>!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Sorry\u2014sorry to point that out to you; but I just think\u2014I just appreciate how real you are in that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; well, that's my first thought; and then, it's like I hear myself think it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> And then, there's the mom guilt that comes in. Then, I\u2019m like: \u201cOh, well, what a terrible mother, that I'm going to be <em>bothered<\/em> by my children.\u201d [Laughter] And then, \u201cI must not have trained them well if they're so bothersome,\u201d\u2014you know?\u2014all of these thoughts. Then, I get to the point of\u2014which is a pretty quick progression\u2014but the point of: \u201cWhy would I be bothered by them? Children are a<em> gift.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u201cAnd the days that we have with our children, no matter what family or what situation you're in, those are <em>gifts<\/em>!\u201d\u2014like: \u201cWho am I to be so <em>bothered<\/em> by these gifts God has given me?!\u201d [Laughter] It's like this introspective process of planning a summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes; well, you still have to get your mind wrapped around: \u201cWhat do I do with them when I have meetings?\u201d \u201cWhat do I do with them when I've got to run out and run errands?\u201d Because, right now, they haven't been around; they've been in school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Right; they both are in school; yes. \u201cAll day, every day\u201d is the way we say it; because that's the first year both of them have been\u2014Monday through Friday, 8 to 3. It will be different when they are home with me for the summer; and it will be different in some ways that are challenging, and it will be different in some ways that are really beautiful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We have to plan for both in order to make both work, I think. Our kids are at an age now where we can actually ask them for their opinion on some of the things. We asked them in planning: \u201cWhat do you want to do this summer? What would make this summer like a \u2018win\u2019 for you and special to you if we did whatever?\u201d They've given us some ideas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Did you give them options in those, or did\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We kind of opened it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; like: \u201cLet's just throw out the ideas.\u201d We\u2019re starting to think about summer. Lots of family is starting to text and make plans to visit\/suggest visiting; so we need to know: \u201cWhat's top on our priority list?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's so sweet that our six-year-old\u2014she said: \u201cBible school! I have to go to Bible school! If we don't go to Bible school, Mom, I'm going to be so sad!\u201d So VBS marked\u2014that\u2019s the very first week of summer. Our five-year-old said, \u201cSwimming\u201d; so\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014swimming?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u2014which, she\u2019s not a great swimmer! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> But she's going to <em>learn<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Apparently; she is determined to learn; yes. We are members of our local Y,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u2014so we kind of have that as like\u2014that's our day-to-day fall back\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u2014like we can take a lunch to the pool. A lot of our friends are also members at the Y; they're planning to spend a lot of their summer days at the pool. I think that's going to be like our go-to activity when people feel crazy at home, getting a little cabin feverish inside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> So a lot of that; but we also have plans to relax. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Good for you. What does that look like in your family?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; we have this <em>amazing<\/em> yard at the house that we moved to. We have like this fenced-in acre\u2014Matt built a swing set; we have this tree swing\u2014and just all these different types of foliage that we're not used to, because we're living in a new climate now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> So our kids <em>love<\/em> to be in the yard. We, also, have these amazing neighbors next door with two little kids. What relaxing is, now, for us is in the backyard, with our neighbors, on the patio. The girls actually like penciled in the days that they want to \u201crelax with the neighbors.\u201d [Laughter] So, at least\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How sweet!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; I mean, it's really cool to see them like planning for themselves but, also, planning to include people whom they think should be included.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I can see <em>their<\/em> hearts in that, as well. Yes; at least, one day a week, we have, basically, like a \u201cNo-plans relax day,\u201d which we all anticipate that being pretty much like grilling in the yard, playing in the yard, hanging out with the neighbors. I'm really looking forward to it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Now, in <em>my<\/em> mind, those three things could take all of three hours. [Laughter] So\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> No; you have to draw them out. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And so then, a relaxing day\u2014you do draw it out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How do you draw it out? How would you plan a day, relaxing with the neighbors, intentionally?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We do this now that it's warmer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u2014as the spring has brought nice weather and sunny days. It's kind of a go-to for both of our families. We developed a really close relationship with them; but on a Saturday now, we will each eat breakfast in our own houses\u2014just, you know, our kids wake up early. Like you cannot teach a six-year-old to sleep in, apparently; or I have failed, if you can. [Laughter] Our kids are up early, and right after breakfast, we're in the yard\u2014it's like maybe 8:00 a.m., and we're in the yard. The other option would be like kind of fighting over TV, and we don't really do a lot of TV.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> So if we can\u2014like push them out to the yard; then they'll quit asking us to watch something, and we have to keep saying, \u201cNo.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> So then, once we see each other in the yard, that's like a two-and-a-half hour process\u2014about\u2014like we're probably <em>not<\/em> going to come back in until people start getting hungry for a snack or lunch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; so we eat the lunch inside at our own house, usually. On occasion, we have done like a picnic lunch together on one of our back patios; but usually, like inside, recover a little bit. But again\u2014like early afternoon\/like 1:00-ish\u2014probably back out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I want to go back to the beginning of your day, when you said: \u201cWe head outside about eight o'clock, because we know that, otherwise, the TV would be fought over.\u201d If you, as a family, are not all that \u201cbig into TV,\u201d how did you and Matt work that out? Because I know for me, babysitting, that's always a fallback: \u201cLet's watch TV, kids!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; I know. Yes; so we do have a standing rule in our house. They don't watch anything during the week. They're only allowed to watch\u2014we call it\u2014\u201cone show\u201d on the weekends, like one a day. I think Matt and I, early on in our parenting, just decided like, it's really not worth it. We only have so much time with their children, like I was saying earlier, which sometimes can feel like a heavy burden. And when you look at it rightfully, it's really an honor and a privilege. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe only have so much time with our children; why are we going to fill that with <em>Peppa Pig<\/em>?\u2014would be my kids\u2019 choice every time! [Laughter] But why would we?! You know, like it's fine on occasion; we're not going to like throw our TV out the window. We like to watch baseball together, as a family, some nights if it's like the team that we like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We'll watch that together, but centering our lives and our entertainment around that is just not something that we were interested in. We feel like the minutes go too quickly there, in front of a TV, and we don't engage with each other in the way that we would like to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes; well, it's interesting\u2014just as you're talking, I'm remembering a Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> post from a coworker, who said that they had been sick; so for the last several weeks, they had been watching TV. As a result, they're better now; but they felt that their mind had sort of went to <em>mush<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Right; because once you <em>start<\/em> the TV, you might have started with somewhat pleasant kids\u2014you know, just maybe, kind of the normal morning\u2014that's <em>not<\/em> the kid that you get back! Because, once it's time to turn it off, So-and-so didn't get to pick their show\u2014you know, whoever picked which one to watch; the other one's mad\u2014or they wanted to watch something else: \u201cYou promised this,\u201d or \u201c\u2026that!\u201d\u2014like it does not go well! [Laughter] It never ends well. Like the 30 minutes that you've got with quiet\u2014no!\u2014it is not worth it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey can go play outside for 30 minutes and be quiet. I can <em>see<\/em> out my kitchen window into our backyard. They\u2019re at ages now, they can play in the backyard; it's fenced. I can have the time doing the dishes, quietly, while they're actually doing something creative and productive together instead of <em>Peppa Pig <\/em>in my ear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes; which doesn't end well for them <em>or<\/em> for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So this is just a whole lot happier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Sounds like a great day!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to take a break; and when we come back, I want to talk a little bit more about just how to be intentional with our summers. So stay tuned; we'll be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill, and I'm sitting in studio today with Tracy Lane. Tracy, it's <em>so good<\/em> to have you back on the program. I think it's about once per quarter we invite you in; and it's just so fun. Thank you for joining me today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; thank you for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> We're talking about being intentional in our summers. You had talked about how you guys were talking about relaxing days and letting the kids in on your decisions for what the summer is going to look like. I'm just wondering, \u201cDo you set up a calendar and write certain days in?\u2014like: \u2018Relaxing day\u2019 or \u2018Day at the pool\u2019\u2014or do you kind of map things out that way for your summers?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We do\u2014especially this coming summer\u2014because it's our first summer living far away from family. I know I mentioned that we're having several visitors, so we have to have that on the calendar already; so that kind of set our trajectory for summer planning. Along with my work schedule, I do have to plan very specifically around that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are certain days that I'll be in the office and certain days I'll be working from home, so those mean we can do different family activities on those days. We all know that Mom\u2019s \u201cin the office\u201d days are Monday, Thursday, Friday. So Monday, Thursday, Friday, I try to help Matt come up with some different ideas that may be fun for him and the girls. And then, he also knows\u2014like those are kind of his free-for-all days\u2014like where is he going to need to save more energy on a Tuesday or Wednesday for the Thursday\/Friday, together, with the Daddy Day Care?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We do a lot of planning; yes. I really, personally, just feel like it's the way I'm wired. Planning is really the <em>key<\/em> to relational success, I feel like,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u2014and being disciplined by finding time for what I want to invest my days in. If I don't plan it out, I look up and it's like noon; and I haven't even eaten that day, and I'm still in my PJs; and I don't even know what happened. [Laughter] I\u2019ve probably scrolled Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> for <em>way<\/em> too long.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ah, yes! That's just\/that's my life! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; we have to plan a lot, also, because one of our daughters takes medicine three times a day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We really do plan, like day to day. We kind of do plan our day in segments, too, based around morning medicine. We call it \u201clunchtime medi\u201d\u2014I don't know why we say \u201cmedi\u201d at lunchtime\u2014but morning medicine, lunchtime medi, nighttime medicine. Those kind of carry us through the blocks of our day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Now, why are you having a medicine routine for your daughter? I know you've explained it in the past, and we have some listeners who understand that; but for anyone new, why are you scheduling time around this medicine?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; so our daughter, Annie, is five. She was born with a severe heart defect, and she's had several open-heart surgeries. She lives a normal life right now, which we're very thankful for! Part of the way that she lives that normal life is\u2014the term would be\u2014she's \u201cmedically managed.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn our family, there is always that tension of planning, very hard core, the intentional moments but, also: \u201cHow do we balance that with relaxing in the blocks that we can relax?\u201d because that's a lot of stress to carry all the time if you're managing your whole day around the 1:00 p.m. lunchtime medi.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> You have to know how to do both.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when you were here, at FamilyLife, you worked very closely with Barbara Rainey. I know she talks a <em>lot<\/em> about summertime and being intentional with your summers and everything. You are talking about blocked days, where you relax. Is that\/are we intentional in relaxing? I mean, is that a thing that we need to do to help our kids as they grow and as they mature?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I think so. We would not be naturally inclined to set aside all the things that we feel like we're committed to\/all the people who ask things of us\u2014even the slew of text messages you get, that may or may not really even need to be responded to\u2014like I probably don't need to send a thumbs-up to of planning text message, but we all feel that need! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we've trained our kids to feel that need to respond\/to be busy. During the school year, they\u2019re like ultra-programmed. Yes; we have to <em>plan<\/em> to give ourselves the freedom and to teach our kids to <em>enjoy<\/em> the freedom of relaxation. I don't think that, in our generation and in our culture today, it's something that we naturally go to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> No; that's right. I feel that, in my in my life\u2014that if I am taking a day off, and relaxing outside, or going for a hike\u2014\u201cThat can't last all day! I have other things I need to get done!\u201d You almost feel like this, sort of, you know, kind of like the hyperventilation mode of, \u201cI\u2019ve got to show that I have something that I'm producing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Right; but if you plan for the relaxation to be what you produce, it helps people like me and you, who think we're accomplishing something. Well, we <em>are<\/em> accomplishing something by relaxing. But if that's the thing you want to accomplish that day, it feels a <em>lot<\/em> better to achievers, like totally me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I'm such an achiever, so I do have to shape my mind around that. I do want to teach my children that, because there's so much that God can teach us when we still our schedules\/when we still our hearts; and we just enjoy what He's given us and the people He's put right in front of us. Even, like I was saying\u2014we love to be outdoors in His creation\u2014if we're <em>so busy<\/em> to even stop and do that, we\u2019re <em>missing<\/em> what He has to teach us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I can teach myself\/model that for my children\u2014and implement that in their regular routine now\u2014I hope that\u2019s something that they can carry into their adulthood, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And I'm also hearing that, in your relaxing days, you're building relationships as you communicate, as you talk, as you laugh and have fun. You're building your relationship with your neighbors, whom you're inviting into your relaxing day. That's what God is asking us to do: is to build relationship with each other and, also, those around us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; it's really hard for me to be person-focused. I'm much better at <em>doing<\/em> things. I'm a <em>great<\/em> do-er\u2014like I could do something so good, and so fast, and just right! [Laughter] But if someone wants me to sit\u2014like my five-year-old does, often. and play a game with her\u2014I\u2019m like: \u201cUmm, no! That's a <em>being<\/em>; I'm great at <em>doing<\/em>. Would you like me to pick up the cards that you just dropped?\u2014I'll be happy to do that! Sit and <em>be<\/em> with you and play this game is <em>very difficult<\/em> for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> So to pull back and require that of myself\u2014it's almost a way to turn the being into doing for someone, like me, who needs to think of it in that way\u2014I don't feel so bad, either, when I plan it. I can look at the blocks in my week\u2014we do a lot of block scheduling, even on our calendar\u2014if I know that, from 9 to 4, I'm going to get my work done\u2014those are my office hours\u2014and from 4 to 8:30 at night, I'm going to be with my kids, I don't feel bad about the work that I've done; because I know my children time\/home time\u2014family time was coming. And when I'm with my family, I don't feel like I'm missing out on the work email, because I have the block coming, again, tomorrow: \u201cAt 9 a.m., I can open my work email.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we plan, even like the day of relaxation that we're talking about, I know I'm okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of my things to-do have actually been <em>done<\/em>, because I planned them. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014and then, truly relax.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; my relaxing can happen with a clear mind. I can be present with my children and my husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014which I think is important\u2014is that we are present with those who we\u2019re talking with, or having conversation with, or being with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm also wondering: \u201cYou have this relaxation time. Where do books come in?\u2014activities like chalk on sidewalks or board games? Does that come into the play, at all, in your summertime?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I feel like you've been to my house! [Laughter] Yes; so our first grader is just like this crazy book-lover, which is really fun for me, as a writer; because, obviously, like what could be better?! [Laughter] We do weekly library trips.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> That's part of our weekly, penciled-in, and a lot of reading. Our five-year-old can't read, like totally on her own, yet; but she still gets her stack of books. The girls have reading time in their rooms. Most days, especially our first grader\u2014again, like she will be reading in the grocery cart. [Laughter] She has to ride so that she doesn't run into the end of the aisle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that is all\u2014like you've, literally, been in my house\u2014just things for my children to create\u2014that's really important to me. I do think\u2014at times before, I thought, \u201cI have really creative kids!\u201d\u2014and now, I'm like, \u201cNo; I think we're <em>all<\/em> creative.\u201d I think that we have made the space in our home for our children to <em>explore<\/em> creativity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I don't think that my kids are just like ultra-creative, because I think we all have that in us. We are made in God's image, and He is a creative God; but we've got to give space for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I'm going to throw a little wrench in this. There's a mom, who's listening, right now, who says: \u201cI'm a single mom, and I <em>have<\/em> to work during the summertime. How can I make it intentional?\u201d Does she look at after hours? Does she look at Saturdays? What kind of advice would you give <em>her<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; so obviously, as a working mom, there are <em>many<\/em> days this summer that I will <em>not<\/em> be the one with my child. Many days and summers before, it hasn't been my husband either; we've had a nanny. If you're the working mom, get a great nanny; and get a nanny, who agrees with your philosophy of parenting, like all of our nannies would be out in the backyard. They have the sprinkler going; the girls are out playing\u2014same ideas as us\u2014that's helpful\u2014you know, someone is supporting you in what you have to do to provide for your family, and your kids are still having the fun you want them to have, like it's not a total miss. It's actually not a miss at all, I realized; because the nanny, a lot of times, has energy and ideas that I would have <em>never<\/em> had. [Laughter] It was a gift to my kids, really, to have another person in their life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut yes, you're not going to have every minute you want to have with your children. Let go of that guilt; because if <em>that's<\/em> what you're worried about, you're going to miss the minutes you do have. And so, once you get home: \u201cYes! You're on!\u201d\u2014it's okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> You're tired, but it's your time. I think understanding the significance of it, too, is helpful for a tired, working mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Whether she's single or married, moms are tired when we come home from work! And the kids are hungry, and they're <em>waiting<\/em> to attack you; because they've missed you all day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead of, like I said, your natural inclination to be bothered by that\u2014if we could just step back for a second, maybe decompress on the drive home\u2014like, sure, it's okay to feel the stress; but if we can decompress for a minute and come to a place of realizing what we're getting with our children, we can approach it from a different heart attitude and be grateful for the moments that God is giving us instead of feel[ing] worn out by them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes; make use of your Saturdays\/make use of your Sundays. We all have busy schedules\u2014we can be busy from work; we can be busy from what's going on in our own minds; we can be busy for a <em>million<\/em> things that we make up\u2014sometimes, they feel like excuses and, sometimes, they're legitimate. But realize that, if you <em>are<\/em> busy, you are choosing something over these moments you have; so make the most of the ones you do have. Don't beat yourself up over the ones that you don't get, because you're probably providing for your family in the moments that you think you're missing. You're, actually, contributing to your family, too, just in a different way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And that's a good point; because if we're not\u2014if we're feeling guilty, that's what's on our mind\u2014but if we can let that go, then we have more space for creativity and more space for enjoyment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So Tracy, I want to thank you. I know our time is running short. I\/oh, I hate that; because I <em>love<\/em> our conversations. Thank you <em>so much<\/em> for joining us today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Thank you for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wasn't that some <em>great<\/em> advice?\u2014and just a great conversation with my friend, Tracy Lane, on how to relax this summer. Make it count and have fun with your kids! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRemember, last week, we talked with Arlene Pellicane about how to be connected and how to be calm, you know, with our phones? Next week, we're going to continue that conversation on how to be calm and connected with your kids and their phones. We're going to hear from David Eaton and a couple of other surprise guests. I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for listening. I <em>do<\/em> appreciate you. I know that this half-hour is valuable time of yours, so thank you for spending it with me and with Tracy today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. And a big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our producers, Marques Holt and Bruce Goff. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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feels like freedom to kids out of school. But a working mom's perspective is a bit different. Tracy Lane describes how she plans to make meaningful memories with her children this summer.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2022-06-25.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Moms and dads\u2014you live a busy life\u2014you're busy driving from here to there, waiting in the carpool line, talking on the phone, making a business deal. Well, your kids are watching you. They're watching you live out that hectic life, so what are you teaching them about relaxation? Here's Tracy Lane.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I think we've trained our kids to feel that need to respond\/to be busy. During the school year, they\u2019re like ultra-programmed. Yes; we have to <em>plan<\/em> to give ourselves the freedom and to teach our kids to <em>enjoy<\/em> the freedom of relaxation. I don't think that, in our generation and in our culture today, it's something that we naturally go to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So why don't you grab those flip-flops, pour some Kool Aid<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> in that ice cold water bottle, and head outside? We're going to talk about how to relax and share an intentional summer with our kids on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. Well, it is mid-summer for some, so, you know, those lazy, hazy days of summer are in full swing. Many homes have popsicles packed in their freezer, and the sprinklers are hooked up to the hose; the sidewalks are covered with chalk, and your kids are <em>bored<\/em>\u2014or maybe, they're not\u2014I don't know. What does it look like in your house?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the question is: \u201cHow do you bridle all this endless energy that your kids have from the sun and the Vitamin D? How do you turn that into something worthwhile?\u201d I was talking to a grandmother the other day. During the school break for summer, she has her granddaughters; and she's asking these questions: \u201cJust what does our summer need to look like? We've already had half the summer, but is that really how we're supposed to be spending our time together?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that she's not the only one that has those questions. <em>You<\/em> might be having those questions, too; so I turned to my friend and co-worker, Tracy Lane. Tracy's a writer, here at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. She's married to Matt, and she has two girls: six-year-old, Audrey and four-year-old, Annie. She's had to wrestle with these questions of: \u201cHow do I make my summer count?\u201d She's in the thick of things <em>right now. W<\/em>e had a conversation about relaxing in the summertime and how to make it count.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Talk to us about what you're planning to do for activities this summer or even how you frame your mind around, I guess, how not to waste time in the summer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; so I have struggled a little bit as a working mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Because the very first feeling about summer is: \u201cUgh! My kids!\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cWhat am I going to do when I have this meeting?\u201d or \u201c\u2026when I have this deadline?\u201d and \u201cThey're going to be there, bothering me!\u201d [Laughter] And how <em>terrible<\/em> is that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I <em>love<\/em> how you're so real about\/just like, \u201cIt's about <em>me<\/em>!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cThey're going to be there, bothering <em>me<\/em>!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Sorry\u2014sorry to point that out to you; but I just think\u2014I just appreciate how real you are in that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; well, that's my first thought; and then, it's like I hear myself think it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> And then, there's the mom guilt that comes in. Then, I\u2019m like: \u201cOh, well, what a terrible mother, that I'm going to be <em>bothered<\/em> by my children.\u201d [Laughter] And then, \u201cI must not have trained them well if they're so bothersome,\u201d\u2014you know?\u2014all of these thoughts. Then, I get to the point of\u2014which is a pretty quick progression\u2014but the point of: \u201cWhy would I be bothered by them? Children are a<em> gift.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u201cAnd the days that we have with our children, no matter what family or what situation you're in, those are <em>gifts<\/em>!\u201d\u2014like: \u201cWho am I to be so <em>bothered<\/em> by these gifts God has given me?!\u201d [Laughter] It's like this introspective process of planning a summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes; well, you still have to get your mind wrapped around: \u201cWhat do I do with them when I have meetings?\u201d \u201cWhat do I do with them when I've got to run out and run errands?\u201d Because, right now, they haven't been around; they've been in school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Right; they both are in school; yes. \u201cAll day, every day\u201d is the way we say it; because that's the first year both of them have been\u2014Monday through Friday, 8 to 3. It will be different when they are home with me for the summer; and it will be different in some ways that are challenging, and it will be different in some ways that are really beautiful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We have to plan for both in order to make both work, I think. Our kids are at an age now where we can actually ask them for their opinion on some of the things. We asked them in planning: \u201cWhat do you want to do this summer? What would make this summer like a \u2018win\u2019 for you and special to you if we did whatever?\u201d They've given us some ideas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Did you give them options in those, or did\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We kind of opened it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; like: \u201cLet's just throw out the ideas.\u201d We\u2019re starting to think about summer. Lots of family is starting to text and make plans to visit\/suggest visiting; so we need to know: \u201cWhat's top on our priority list?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's so sweet that our six-year-old\u2014she said: \u201cBible school! I have to go to Bible school! If we don't go to Bible school, Mom, I'm going to be so sad!\u201d So VBS marked\u2014that\u2019s the very first week of summer. Our five-year-old said, \u201cSwimming\u201d; so\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014swimming?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u2014which, she\u2019s not a great swimmer! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> But she's going to <em>learn<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Apparently; she is determined to learn; yes. We are members of our local Y,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u2014so we kind of have that as like\u2014that's our day-to-day fall back\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u2014like we can take a lunch to the pool. A lot of our friends are also members at the Y; they're planning to spend a lot of their summer days at the pool. I think that's going to be like our go-to activity when people feel crazy at home, getting a little cabin feverish inside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> So a lot of that; but we also have plans to relax. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Good for you. What does that look like in your family?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; we have this <em>amazing<\/em> yard at the house that we moved to. We have like this fenced-in acre\u2014Matt built a swing set; we have this tree swing\u2014and just all these different types of foliage that we're not used to, because we're living in a new climate now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> So our kids <em>love<\/em> to be in the yard. We, also, have these amazing neighbors next door with two little kids. What relaxing is, now, for us is in the backyard, with our neighbors, on the patio. The girls actually like penciled in the days that they want to \u201crelax with the neighbors.\u201d [Laughter] So, at least\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How sweet!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; I mean, it's really cool to see them like planning for themselves but, also, planning to include people whom they think should be included.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I can see <em>their<\/em> hearts in that, as well. Yes; at least, one day a week, we have, basically, like a \u201cNo-plans relax day,\u201d which we all anticipate that being pretty much like grilling in the yard, playing in the yard, hanging out with the neighbors. I'm really looking forward to it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Now, in <em>my<\/em> mind, those three things could take all of three hours. [Laughter] So\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> No; you have to draw them out. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And so then, a relaxing day\u2014you do draw it out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How do you draw it out? How would you plan a day, relaxing with the neighbors, intentionally?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We do this now that it's warmer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u2014as the spring has brought nice weather and sunny days. It's kind of a go-to for both of our families. We developed a really close relationship with them; but on a Saturday now, we will each eat breakfast in our own houses\u2014just, you know, our kids wake up early. Like you cannot teach a six-year-old to sleep in, apparently; or I have failed, if you can. [Laughter] Our kids are up early, and right after breakfast, we're in the yard\u2014it's like maybe 8:00 a.m., and we're in the yard. The other option would be like kind of fighting over TV, and we don't really do a lot of TV.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> So if we can\u2014like push them out to the yard; then they'll quit asking us to watch something, and we have to keep saying, \u201cNo.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> So then, once we see each other in the yard, that's like a two-and-a-half hour process\u2014about\u2014like we're probably <em>not<\/em> going to come back in until people start getting hungry for a snack or lunch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; so we eat the lunch inside at our own house, usually. On occasion, we have done like a picnic lunch together on one of our back patios; but usually, like inside, recover a little bit. But again\u2014like early afternoon\/like 1:00-ish\u2014probably back out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I want to go back to the beginning of your day, when you said: \u201cWe head outside about eight o'clock, because we know that, otherwise, the TV would be fought over.\u201d If you, as a family, are not all that \u201cbig into TV,\u201d how did you and Matt work that out? Because I know for me, babysitting, that's always a fallback: \u201cLet's watch TV, kids!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; I know. Yes; so we do have a standing rule in our house. They don't watch anything during the week. They're only allowed to watch\u2014we call it\u2014\u201cone show\u201d on the weekends, like one a day. I think Matt and I, early on in our parenting, just decided like, it's really not worth it. We only have so much time with their children, like I was saying earlier, which sometimes can feel like a heavy burden. And when you look at it rightfully, it's really an honor and a privilege. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe only have so much time with our children; why are we going to fill that with <em>Peppa Pig<\/em>?\u2014would be my kids\u2019 choice every time! [Laughter] But why would we?! You know, like it's fine on occasion; we're not going to like throw our TV out the window. We like to watch baseball together, as a family, some nights if it's like the team that we like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We'll watch that together, but centering our lives and our entertainment around that is just not something that we were interested in. We feel like the minutes go too quickly there, in front of a TV, and we don't engage with each other in the way that we would like to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes; well, it's interesting\u2014just as you're talking, I'm remembering a Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> post from a coworker, who said that they had been sick; so for the last several weeks, they had been watching TV. As a result, they're better now; but they felt that their mind had sort of went to <em>mush<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Right; because once you <em>start<\/em> the TV, you might have started with somewhat pleasant kids\u2014you know, just maybe, kind of the normal morning\u2014that's <em>not<\/em> the kid that you get back! Because, once it's time to turn it off, So-and-so didn't get to pick their show\u2014you know, whoever picked which one to watch; the other one's mad\u2014or they wanted to watch something else: \u201cYou promised this,\u201d or \u201c\u2026that!\u201d\u2014like it does not go well! [Laughter] It never ends well. Like the 30 minutes that you've got with quiet\u2014no!\u2014it is not worth it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey can go play outside for 30 minutes and be quiet. I can <em>see<\/em> out my kitchen window into our backyard. They\u2019re at ages now, they can play in the backyard; it's fenced. I can have the time doing the dishes, quietly, while they're actually doing something creative and productive together instead of <em>Peppa Pig <\/em>in my ear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes; which doesn't end well for them <em>or<\/em> for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So this is just a whole lot happier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Sounds like a great day!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to take a break; and when we come back, I want to talk a little bit more about just how to be intentional with our summers. So stay tuned; we'll be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill, and I'm sitting in studio today with Tracy Lane. Tracy, it's <em>so good<\/em> to have you back on the program. I think it's about once per quarter we invite you in; and it's just so fun. Thank you for joining me today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; thank you for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> We're talking about being intentional in our summers. You had talked about how you guys were talking about relaxing days and letting the kids in on your decisions for what the summer is going to look like. I'm just wondering, \u201cDo you set up a calendar and write certain days in?\u2014like: \u2018Relaxing day\u2019 or \u2018Day at the pool\u2019\u2014or do you kind of map things out that way for your summers?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We do\u2014especially this coming summer\u2014because it's our first summer living far away from family. I know I mentioned that we're having several visitors, so we have to have that on the calendar already; so that kind of set our trajectory for summer planning. Along with my work schedule, I do have to plan very specifically around that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are certain days that I'll be in the office and certain days I'll be working from home, so those mean we can do different family activities on those days. We all know that Mom\u2019s \u201cin the office\u201d days are Monday, Thursday, Friday. So Monday, Thursday, Friday, I try to help Matt come up with some different ideas that may be fun for him and the girls. And then, he also knows\u2014like those are kind of his free-for-all days\u2014like where is he going to need to save more energy on a Tuesday or Wednesday for the Thursday\/Friday, together, with the Daddy Day Care?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We do a lot of planning; yes. I really, personally, just feel like it's the way I'm wired. Planning is really the <em>key<\/em> to relational success, I feel like,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> \u2014and being disciplined by finding time for what I want to invest my days in. If I don't plan it out, I look up and it's like noon; and I haven't even eaten that day, and I'm still in my PJs; and I don't even know what happened. [Laughter] I\u2019ve probably scrolled Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> for <em>way<\/em> too long.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ah, yes! That's just\/that's my life! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; we have to plan a lot, also, because one of our daughters takes medicine three times a day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> We really do plan, like day to day. We kind of do plan our day in segments, too, based around morning medicine. We call it \u201clunchtime medi\u201d\u2014I don't know why we say \u201cmedi\u201d at lunchtime\u2014but morning medicine, lunchtime medi, nighttime medicine. Those kind of carry us through the blocks of our day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Now, why are you having a medicine routine for your daughter? I know you've explained it in the past, and we have some listeners who understand that; but for anyone new, why are you scheduling time around this medicine?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; so our daughter, Annie, is five. She was born with a severe heart defect, and she's had several open-heart surgeries. She lives a normal life right now, which we're very thankful for! Part of the way that she lives that normal life is\u2014the term would be\u2014she's \u201cmedically managed.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn our family, there is always that tension of planning, very hard core, the intentional moments but, also: \u201cHow do we balance that with relaxing in the blocks that we can relax?\u201d because that's a lot of stress to carry all the time if you're managing your whole day around the 1:00 p.m. lunchtime medi.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> You have to know how to do both.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when you were here, at FamilyLife, you worked very closely with Barbara Rainey. I know she talks a <em>lot<\/em> about summertime and being intentional with your summers and everything. You are talking about blocked days, where you relax. Is that\/are we intentional in relaxing? I mean, is that a thing that we need to do to help our kids as they grow and as they mature?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I think so. We would not be naturally inclined to set aside all the things that we feel like we're committed to\/all the people who ask things of us\u2014even the slew of text messages you get, that may or may not really even need to be responded to\u2014like I probably don't need to send a thumbs-up to of planning text message, but we all feel that need! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we've trained our kids to feel that need to respond\/to be busy. During the school year, they\u2019re like ultra-programmed. Yes; we have to <em>plan<\/em> to give ourselves the freedom and to teach our kids to <em>enjoy<\/em> the freedom of relaxation. I don't think that, in our generation and in our culture today, it's something that we naturally go to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> No; that's right. I feel that, in my in my life\u2014that if I am taking a day off, and relaxing outside, or going for a hike\u2014\u201cThat can't last all day! I have other things I need to get done!\u201d You almost feel like this, sort of, you know, kind of like the hyperventilation mode of, \u201cI\u2019ve got to show that I have something that I'm producing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Right; but if you plan for the relaxation to be what you produce, it helps people like me and you, who think we're accomplishing something. Well, we <em>are<\/em> accomplishing something by relaxing. But if that's the thing you want to accomplish that day, it feels a <em>lot<\/em> better to achievers, like totally me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I'm such an achiever, so I do have to shape my mind around that. I do want to teach my children that, because there's so much that God can teach us when we still our schedules\/when we still our hearts; and we just enjoy what He's given us and the people He's put right in front of us. Even, like I was saying\u2014we love to be outdoors in His creation\u2014if we're <em>so busy<\/em> to even stop and do that, we\u2019re <em>missing<\/em> what He has to teach us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I can teach myself\/model that for my children\u2014and implement that in their regular routine now\u2014I hope that\u2019s something that they can carry into their adulthood, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And I'm also hearing that, in your relaxing days, you're building relationships as you communicate, as you talk, as you laugh and have fun. You're building your relationship with your neighbors, whom you're inviting into your relaxing day. That's what God is asking us to do: is to build relationship with each other and, also, those around us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; it's really hard for me to be person-focused. I'm much better at <em>doing<\/em> things. I'm a <em>great<\/em> do-er\u2014like I could do something so good, and so fast, and just right! [Laughter] But if someone wants me to sit\u2014like my five-year-old does, often. and play a game with her\u2014I\u2019m like: \u201cUmm, no! That's a <em>being<\/em>; I'm great at <em>doing<\/em>. Would you like me to pick up the cards that you just dropped?\u2014I'll be happy to do that! Sit and <em>be<\/em> with you and play this game is <em>very difficult<\/em> for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> So to pull back and require that of myself\u2014it's almost a way to turn the being into doing for someone, like me, who needs to think of it in that way\u2014I don't feel so bad, either, when I plan it. I can look at the blocks in my week\u2014we do a lot of block scheduling, even on our calendar\u2014if I know that, from 9 to 4, I'm going to get my work done\u2014those are my office hours\u2014and from 4 to 8:30 at night, I'm going to be with my kids, I don't feel bad about the work that I've done; because I know my children time\/home time\u2014family time was coming. And when I'm with my family, I don't feel like I'm missing out on the work email, because I have the block coming, again, tomorrow: \u201cAt 9 a.m., I can open my work email.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we plan, even like the day of relaxation that we're talking about, I know I'm okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of my things to-do have actually been <em>done<\/em>, because I planned them. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014and then, truly relax.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; my relaxing can happen with a clear mind. I can be present with my children and my husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014which I think is important\u2014is that we are present with those who we\u2019re talking with, or having conversation with, or being with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm also wondering: \u201cYou have this relaxation time. Where do books come in?\u2014activities like chalk on sidewalks or board games? Does that come into the play, at all, in your summertime?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I feel like you've been to my house! [Laughter] Yes; so our first grader is just like this crazy book-lover, which is really fun for me, as a writer; because, obviously, like what could be better?! [Laughter] We do weekly library trips.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> That's part of our weekly, penciled-in, and a lot of reading. Our five-year-old can't read, like totally on her own, yet; but she still gets her stack of books. The girls have reading time in their rooms. Most days, especially our first grader\u2014again, like she will be reading in the grocery cart. [Laughter] She has to ride so that she doesn't run into the end of the aisle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that is all\u2014like you've, literally, been in my house\u2014just things for my children to create\u2014that's really important to me. I do think\u2014at times before, I thought, \u201cI have really creative kids!\u201d\u2014and now, I'm like, \u201cNo; I think we're <em>all<\/em> creative.\u201d I think that we have made the space in our home for our children to <em>explore<\/em> creativity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> I don't think that my kids are just like ultra-creative, because I think we all have that in us. We are made in God's image, and He is a creative God; but we've got to give space for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I'm going to throw a little wrench in this. There's a mom, who's listening, right now, who says: \u201cI'm a single mom, and I <em>have<\/em> to work during the summertime. How can I make it intentional?\u201d Does she look at after hours? Does she look at Saturdays? What kind of advice would you give <em>her<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes; so obviously, as a working mom, there are <em>many<\/em> days this summer that I will <em>not<\/em> be the one with my child. Many days and summers before, it hasn't been my husband either; we've had a nanny. If you're the working mom, get a great nanny; and get a nanny, who agrees with your philosophy of parenting, like all of our nannies would be out in the backyard. They have the sprinkler going; the girls are out playing\u2014same ideas as us\u2014that's helpful\u2014you know, someone is supporting you in what you have to do to provide for your family, and your kids are still having the fun you want them to have, like it's not a total miss. It's actually not a miss at all, I realized; because the nanny, a lot of times, has energy and ideas that I would have <em>never<\/em> had. [Laughter] It was a gift to my kids, really, to have another person in their life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut yes, you're not going to have every minute you want to have with your children. Let go of that guilt; because if <em>that's<\/em> what you're worried about, you're going to miss the minutes you do have. And so, once you get home: \u201cYes! You're on!\u201d\u2014it's okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> You're tired, but it's your time. I think understanding the significance of it, too, is helpful for a tired, working mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Whether she's single or married, moms are tired when we come home from work! And the kids are hungry, and they're <em>waiting<\/em> to attack you; because they've missed you all day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead of, like I said, your natural inclination to be bothered by that\u2014if we could just step back for a second, maybe decompress on the drive home\u2014like, sure, it's okay to feel the stress; but if we can decompress for a minute and come to a place of realizing what we're getting with our children, we can approach it from a different heart attitude and be grateful for the moments that God is giving us instead of feel[ing] worn out by them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes; make use of your Saturdays\/make use of your Sundays. We all have busy schedules\u2014we can be busy from work; we can be busy from what's going on in our own minds; we can be busy for a <em>million<\/em> things that we make up\u2014sometimes, they feel like excuses and, sometimes, they're legitimate. But realize that, if you <em>are<\/em> busy, you are choosing something over these moments you have; so make the most of the ones you do have. Don't beat yourself up over the ones that you don't get, because you're probably providing for your family in the moments that you think you're missing. You're, actually, contributing to your family, too, just in a different way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And that's a good point; because if we're not\u2014if we're feeling guilty, that's what's on our mind\u2014but if we can let that go, then we have more space for creativity and more space for enjoyment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So Tracy, I want to thank you. I know our time is running short. I\/oh, I hate that; because I <em>love<\/em> our conversations. Thank you <em>so much<\/em> for joining us today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracy:<\/strong> Thank you for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wasn't that some <em>great<\/em> advice?\u2014and just a great conversation with my friend, Tracy Lane, on how to relax this summer. Make it count and have fun with your kids! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRemember, last week, we talked with Arlene Pellicane about how to be connected and how to be calm, you know, with our phones? Next week, we're going to continue that conversation on how to be calm and connected with your kids and their phones. We're going to hear from David Eaton and a couple of other surprise guests. I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for listening. I <em>do<\/em> appreciate you. I know that this half-hour is valuable time of yours, so thank you for spending it with me and with Tracy today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. And a big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our producers, Marques Holt and Bruce Goff. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2022 FamilyLife. 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